Recap: Blake drops in on Fallon, who's sitting in the chair in her hospital room looking despondent about her faux below-the-waist paralysis. Blake tells her she looks great, says he's delighted that she'll be coming home today, and assures her that she'll be up and walking before the end credits roll. Fallon says she's not quite sure 'bout that, then moans about how none of her doctors have been able to explain the mysteriousness of her paralysis. Blake looks contemplative for a few seconds and says he'll go talk to the doctor about it right now...and in the next scene the doctor confirms that, nope, there's nothing physically wrong with Fallon and that he's pretty sure the "problem" will resolve itself once she breaks through her emotional blockage, such as opening up about the humiliation of getting dumped by a Eurotrash assbag like Peter De Vilbis. Until then, he advises that she exercise her leg muscles and regularly stretch out her tendons.

Morgan Hess delivers an assortment of newspaper clippings to Alexis about Joseph Anders' wife - who was presumed dead, but is actually alive and serving time in a prison for the criminally insane. Alexis snarks to Hess about how long it took him to gather all this info, and he counter-snarks about how time-consuming it is to compile this kind of stuff without the benefit of Google...and that it's extremely cunty of her to play God with people's lives. He warns her that one day her nefarious schemes will blow up in her face, but she's like, "Whatever", gives him his check for services rendered, and orders him to skedaddle. 

Alexis drops by Blake's office while he's on the phone with Fallon's nurse...and when he finishes the call, he gives Alexis an update on their daughter and invites her to the mansion this evening for the grand homecoming. Alexis poutishly declines 'cause of how hostile Fallon was to her when she first regained consciousness during the previous episode, then changes the subject to Adam and complains that he's about to ruin his life by marrying so far beneath his station. Blake disagrees, reminds Alexis that Adam is a big boy, and that he doesn't believe a marriage to Kirby is necessarily a bad thing...the utter creepiness of him fucking marrying the woman he violently attacked in Season 3 notwithstanding. He says he's thrilled that Adam is finally "acting like a man" (er, OK..?) and doesn't want to interfere with that, and Alexis haughtily retorts that it's obvious that of the two of them she's the only one who cares about their children, insists that Kirby is not good enough for their creepy rapist spawn, then gets up and sashays out of his office.

Fallon is chauffeured via a mini limo to Carrington manor, and she's accompanied by Blake and Krystle. Jeff bounds out of the mansion to greet them and scoops Fallon and her lifeless legs into his arms to transport her inside.  

Later, Fallon is relaxing on a chaise in her room petting a cute white cat we've never seen before when Blake drops by to urge her to open up about Peter's callous dumping of her. Fallon brushes off the dumping by saying it was a mistake she'd rather forget...and when Blake tries to press the issue, she firmly tells him to leave it alone and to go fetch Baby Blake so she can indulge in some much needed mother-son cuddle time. 

Adam stops by Kirby's room, shirtless and sweating after a workout in the gym. Ew. When he gets all grab-handsy with her, she implores him to let her go - and he creepily asks, "Do you really want me to?", then responds to his own question by declaring, "I don't think so." He smooches her intensely and gabbles about how all of their dreams are about to come true: power, wealth, a Carrington heir. Ew. Kirby stares back at him blankly and asks him if he really just wants to marry her to secure an heir, and he breathily retorts, "I want it all.." and plants another intense smooch on her lips. Kirby somehow relaxes in his iron grip and gets into his creepy foreplay just as the phone rings...and a disappointed looking Adam leaves the room to give her some privacy to take the call. On the line is Alexis, scantily covered by a towel while she receives a massage. She tells Kirby she'd like to get to know her better since she's about to become her daughter-in-law, then brusquely orders her to come by the penthouse for lunch. When Kirby tries to politely decline, Alexis refuses to take no for an answer, crisply says she'll send her car to the mansion to pick her up, then abruptly hangs up.

Claudia enters the breakfast room and wigs out when she sees a small box sitting on the dining table. Krystle calms her down and tells her it's just a box of napkin holders she asked one of the servants to order, then opens it to show her the contents. Claudia apologizes for squirrelling out and explains that today is hers and Matthew's wedding anniversary, and that she's nervous 'cause she knows someone is out there doing his/her best to destroy her mental state...which, even on the best of days, is pretty fragile.

Fallon is working out in the mansion's gym...and by working out I mean she's sitting on a stationary bicycle with her lifeless feet fastened to the pedals as the motorized apparatus forces her lifeless legs to bob up and down in a cycling motion. Krystle enters the room and urges Fallon to dislodge her mental block by unburdening her anxieties onto a psychiatrist - but Fallon argues that it's her legs not her head that isn't working. Krystle stares back at her in pensive concern for few seconds before shrugging indifferently and exiting the gym.

Tracy flounces into Blake's office to show him the head shots she arranged for him to get done for some kind of Denver-Carrington PR campaign. While she gushes over his photogenic awesomeness, Dex bursts in with an angry look etched on his wooden face. After Tracy hastily excuses herself to get out of the line of fire, Dex snarls at Blake for cancelling the deal to refine oil for his and Alexis' newly formed Lex-Dex corporation...and Blake shoots him a sly grin and says, "Welcome to the big time" and says he made the oil refinement deal with Oscar Stone, not the flunky Lex-Dex, Inc. [with whom Stone signed a deal]. He admonishes Dex for choosing to work in cahoots with Alexis over remaining loyal to Denver-Carrington, then dismissively barks, "Get someone else to refine your oil."

Kirby arrives at Alexis' penthouse for lunch and runs into Mark, who's wearing a dark velvet track suit and is promptly yelled at by Alexis to beat it 'cause he's not invited to this ladies lunch. Someone please explain to me why Mark, whose usefulness as Krystle's still legal husband has long expired, hasn't yet been killed off or written out of the show. Alexis snarks at her manservant 'cause apparently the lunches he just brought up from the downstairs restaurant are Cornish hens - not quail. She then steers Kirby over to the living room for a chat and tells her that a position in the Paris branch of ColbyCo (?) has just materialized out of thin air, and that it includes a fat salary, use of a luxurious Paris apartment, and a car and chauffeur. Kirby says she knows this is just a ploy to keep her away from creepy Adam (which one could think of as an incentive) and says, "No sale, Alexis." She then reminds Alexis that she was raped by Adam in this very living room - ew - then accuses Alexis of [figuratively] doing the same thing to her right now. She defiantly pronounces that her next baby is going to be a Carrington, and Alexis haughtily tells her she doesn't deserve to mingle among the Colorado elite on account of her "bloodline" being in question. When Kirby scrunches her face in confusion, Alexis informs her that her mother is alive and serving time in prison 'cause she killed the lover with whom she abandoned her husband and only child. Kirby shrieks, "You're a liar!" so Alexis hands her the assortment of newspaper clippings she got from Morgan Hess and smugly watches Kirby's shocked and pained reaction. 

Fallon and her lifeless legs are parked in a chair near the mansion's pond when Jeff and a small army of manservants appear with all that is necessary for a huge picnic lunch. After everything is spread out, Jeff sets Fallon on the blanket and pours a glass of wine for each of them. Fallon complains about how everyone is bugging her to see a shrink and talk about Peter De Vilbis - but that she really has no desire to re-invoke that tedious storyline. Jeff says he's A-OK not talking about Eurotrash, and that she'll learn to love and walk again once she's fully mentally recombobulated. Fallon gazes at him lovingly for a few seconds, then leans over and gives him a smooch.

Steven drops by Adam's office at Denver-Carrington to snarkishly accuse him of stealing his China Sea Evaluation Report. Adam pretends to have no earthly idea what he's talking about, but then kind of implicates himself by chiding Steven for taking all the credit for a report that he (Adam) did most of the legwork for. Steven shoots him the stink-eye, says that one day soon he's going to find himself tossed out on the street where he belongs, then bitchily storms out of the office. Maybe in the future Steven will think to make a photocopy of his important reports.

In the next scene, Adam presents the China Sea Evaluation Report to Blake and says that he and Steven worked on it together - but only after he (Adam) initiated the project. Blake nods his head and looks very impressed, then buzzes his secretary to ask her to please track down their affiliate in Hong Kong.

Fallon and her lifeless legs are now lounging by the swimming pool when Jeff brings Baby Blake outside to hang with her. When Jeff is called away to take a phone call, Baby Blake gets distracted by his toy truck, which is motoring dangerously close to the pool. Fallon watches in horror, then starts shrieking, "OMG! Baby Blake! Noooooo!!" ... but before the tot can topple over into the water, Fallon leaps up from her chair, runs over to her son, and scoops him into her arms. Jeff rushes over to ensure that no disaster occurred and squeals, "You can walk!" and Fallon's all, "Wha-a-a?" then realizes that since she was suddenly so easily able to regain the use of her legs, her disability had probably been as giant a load of bullcack as when Blake temporarily lost his eyesight in Season 2.  

A tearful Kirby shows Blake the assortment of newspaper clippings that Alexis gave her earlier, then asks him if it's really true that her mother is a murderess and still alive. Blake admits that Joseph told him about his wife being institutionalized, and that he had never wanted her to find out. When Kirby wails, "He lied to me!", Blake says that the family she has now is what's most important...and that once she marries his rapist son, she'll officially become part of his dysfunctional clan. He then tells her that tonight the Carringtons are celebrating Fallon's legs being restored to their default settings, and that she would be missed by everyone if she didn't attend the party.

Krystle gabbles at the kitchen staff about how excited everyone is about tonight's dinner, which looks to be an assortment of Fallon's favorite foods.

The Carringtons are dressed up and mingling in the library when Jeff and Fallon make their grand entrance...and Fallon showcases her re-functioning legs and lifts her arms as if to triumph over the disability she's been faking for the last week or so. The family hoots and claps, cries, "Congratulations!" and envelopes her in hugs. At dinner, Blake gives a speech about how sensitive yet resilient Fallon has proven herself to be, then raises his glass to salute her awesomeness.

Alexis is sprawled on her sofa, overindulging on martinis. Dex arrives and reminds her that they have plans to go to the theater - but she tells him she has a headache and therefore no desire to go out. He asks her why she's at home drinking instead of celebrating the end of Fallon's faux paralysis storyline, and Alexis poutishly says that Fallon has proven with her snarkitude that she doesn't want her around...then sadly admits that they've never had a very close mother-daughter relationship. Dex hands her the phone receiver and urges her to reach out to her daughter...and after a few seconds of mulling that over, Alexis cries, "I can't do it!" She then clings urgently onto Dex and barks, "Hold me close like you never have before!" LOL.

During the celebration dinner, a manservant hands Claudia a large envelop that was just delivered to the mansion, and Claudia excuses herself to a private room to examine the contents. Inside the envelop she finds a photo of herself that Matthew took on their first wedding anniversary...and when Steven enters the room to see whassup, she shows him the photo and says she's increasingly skeered of whoever's been sending her all this Matthew-related stuff. Steven shrugs and brushes off her concerns by assuring her that somehow everything is going to be A-OK. He urges her to return to the party, and she says she'll join him after she takes a few minutes to "freshen up". Once he's out of earshot, she picks up the phone and books a flight to Lima, Peru, presumably to investigate for herself whether or not Matthew is really, absolutely, truly dead.

Recap: After the moment of impact between Fallon and the belligerent drunk driver, we get a short replay from the scene in the previous episode where an ashen Blake mutters, "My God.." as Fallon lays unconscious on the ground. Jeff is anxiously hovering over her, and a bunch of other people rush over and gasp at the horror of what they've just witnessed. The intoxicated driver says she appeared out of nowhere, then drunkenly natters about how the accident wasn't his fault. Blake kneels beside Fallon and tells her she'll be OK, and that an ambulance is on its way.

Back at Carrington manor, Kirby is moping in the conservatory while being served coffee. Krystle enters the room to check up on her and bring her some sheet music to encourage some recreational piano playing, then suggests she take a walk in the garden and get some fresh air. Kirby thanks her for her kindness and concern, then snarkishly says she really doesn't want to be bugged right now. Krystle says she totally gets what she's going through - having lost a child herself - and that the best remedy for her depression is to open up and talk about her feelings. Kirby snarks that it's all fine for her, 'cause she has a rich husband and a mansion...then self-piteously calls herself "a downstairs girl" who is expected to keep her feelings to herself. Krystle assures Miss Mopey Pants that she's loved for who she is, not what she is, then hastily excuses herself when Adam bounds into the room. He gushes about how super happy he is that she's home from the hospital...and when she glumly asks if this is home, he says yes, and that she belongs here with him. She asks him if it's OK that she's marrying him even though she doesn't love him, and he grins and says, "You will!" and insists that however long it takes, eventually she'll get so beaten down by his relentless smothering that she'll have no choice but to resign herself to loving him as much as he loves her. Kirby mulls that over and decides, "Ah...what the hell" and Adam's like, "Woo hoo!" and gives her a grabby hug. He gabbles excitedly about all the children they're going to have - ew - and Kirby looks less than thrilled at the horror of what that will entail, then makes a blech face as she snarks, "Carrington children. Only the best." Adam frowns concernedly and says it doesn't sound like her to be so hard and calculating, and she bitterly retorts, "Watch me. I learn fast" and he's just like, "Whatever" and leans in for a smooch.

Blake paces the waiting room of the hospital while Fallon remains unresponsive. When Dr. Walker finally appears, Blake snaps, "What's going on, damn it?! I want to know what's wrong!" then bitchily reminds him that he hired him 'cause he's the best neurosurgeon in the country. Dr. Walker coldly retorts that he wasn't hired to babysit anxious family members who question his credibility, then informs Blake and Jeff that after examining Fallon, he has determined that her only injury is a skull fracture...and that even though she's in a coma, it doesn't look like she suffered any brain damage​. Blake apologizes for his dickish behavior and sheepishly thanks the doctor for the update, then mutters to Jeff that he's off to the La Mirage 'cause there's someone he needs to see. Peter!

Blake is irked when Peter's lawyer informs him that the scoundrel is fleeing town...and when Blake demands more details, the lawyer reveals that Peter is due to catch the next flight to New York any minute now, and then is off to Morocco 'cause it has no extradition treaty with the United States. Blake vows to track down the con artist and snarls that he'll personally see to it that he rots in jail. He storms over to Fallon's office, calls the airport, and barks at whoever answers the phone to hold all planes scheduled to leave for New York, then bellows, "I don't care what it takes! Do it!" - LOL - and the airport staffer he's talking to refrains from telling him to go pee up a fucking rope since he has absolutely no authority to be barking orders at him.

Peter is going through the security gates at the airport when an x-ray of his briefcase reveals something suspicious. The guard orders him to open it for inspection, and inside is a giant bag of cocaine. Smooth move, Peter. Blake arrives at the airport with two police officers in tow. He quickly spots Peter, bolts through the security gate without any alarms going off, and lunges at him...then steps aside so his stunt double (whose hair lacks the limp greyness of Blake's 'do) can give him a few solid punches while yelling, "This is for my daughter!" The police officers eventually grab the old goat and restrain him from continuing the implausible beat-down of a man half his age...and as Peter is being handcuffed, Blake snarls, "You're lucky. I would have killed you!" which seems like a very bad thing to utter out loud when you've already been on trial for manslaughtering your son's lover and then accused of almost killing the man you caught schtupping your slutty ex-wife.

Alexis and Dex are canoodling in her ginormous bathtub which is filled with foamy white bubbles, and sexy music is playing in the background. Alexis marvels at how strange it is that the more she rebuffs him, the more interested in her he becomes. Dex cockily says he refuses to take no for an answer - but she cautions him to never overstep his boundaries or criticize her family. Dex asks her if that includes Blake, and she's like, "Hell no" but adds that her past relationship with Blake is none of his business. Dex argues that if someone makes her unhappy, it is his business...and she's like, "Uh, OK" and the two start going at it amid the bubbles.​

Later, the two lounge in the penthouse living room in their robes, feeding each other sushi and oysters. Dex remarks on all the passion, bitterness, and hatred she expends on Blake and worries that one day he'll lose her to her ex-husband...but Alexis just chuckles and sassily says he can't lose what he doesn't have in the first place. A few seconds later, Krystle phones the penthouse to give Alexis the news about Fallon's accident, and she's all, "Wha-a? OMG!"

Alexis rushes over to the hospital and gets an update on Fallon's condition from Krystle...and then the two rush around to find the doctor.

Blake is meeting with some guy named Eric, who wants to install Blake as State Chairman of the Party. (Which party, the show doesn't specify...but I have my suspicions.) Eric wanks him about how the party needs a big man who wields power, influence, and respect on its side so they can win back the state house and start passing legislation. Dex suddenly barges into Blake's office and snarks that he just heard about his meeting with Eric, then adds that he's very involved with Colorado politics and doesn't think it's a good idea to appoint Blake as State Chairman of the Party. Eric disagrees and insists that Blake is the best man for the job, and Blake hems and haws about taking on this responsibility while he's currently got the Fallon Comatose Situation to contend with...but then mulls it over for a few more minutes and agrees to give the chairmanship a shot.

Steven, Krystle, and Jeff are in Fallon's hospital room, pacing and wringing their hands. When Steven and Krystle step out of the room to get some coffee, Jeff sits by her bedside, holds her hand, and has a series of flashbacks from their Season 1 elopement, and their recent doink in a Montana motel room. When he's jolted back to the present, he coos to Fallon about how much he and their son love and need her.

Claudia stares at the most recent Lancelot card she received, stares contemplatively into space for a few seconds, then puts the card back in her drawer. She calls up her former mother-in-law and tells her that something strange has been happening involving Matthew and their past life, then asks if she could drive out to the house and have a chat...and Mother Blaisdel's like, "Sure! Come on over!"

Claudia thanks Mother Blaisdel for agreeing to see her - even though she hated her not so long ago - and Mother Blaisdel says they share a great loss and is glad that the bad blood between them finally got smoothed out off-camera. Claudia tells her about the Lancelot cards/violets, then asks her if she can think of anyone who hates her and also knew that she nicknamed Matthew Lancelot. Mother Blaisdel says she can't think of a single person who would say an unkind thing about her, much less play cruel tricks on her...and the two women clutch hands and smile wistfully at each other.

Alexis is on the phone, railing at Krystle because of how Blake stubbornly refused to listen to her about Peter being a shady mofo...and while she's railing, she's dramatically shaking her head from side to side. Krystle stares pensively into space, then decides she doesn't feel like being yelled at anymore and abruptly hangs up on Alexis. LOL. A few seconds later, Mark arrives at the penthouse and generously helps himself to the caviar that Alexis has laid out. He smugly tells her that if she hadn't come between him and Fallon, none of this would be happening right now, and Alexis snarls at him to take his caviar sandwich to his room. A few seconds later, Adam enters the penthouse, looking irked at being summoned there to explain himself after proposing to Kirby. Alexis says she doesn't want him to throw his life away by marrying a commoner, then bewilderedly asks, "What is to love?" Adam insists he loves Kirby...and that when they canoodle, all the years of loneliness he endured as a kidnapped baby/boy/grown man melt away. Alexis reminds him that he's heir to a vast fortune, and Adam says she has no right to live his life for him, then stalks out of the penthouse. Alexis strides over to the phone and calls up Morgan Hess and says she has a job for him: contact The Chronicle and dig up all the dirt he can on Alicia Anders. She nonsensically blurts out, "The crime was murder!" 

Tracy and Eric are enjoying a romp in her apartment. He thanks her for suggesting that he ask Blake to be State Chairman of the Party, and she giggles and says, "You're welcome" and tells him that in return she wants to be in charge of the PR so she can hit the campaign trail with Blake. Eric's like, "Whoa, I already have a man in the job", but Tracy orders him to get rid of his man and snaps, "You owe me" and threatens to reveal their affair to his wife if he refuses to do her bidding.  

Back at Carrington manor, Adam confesses to Jeff that he was the person behind his poisoning last season. Jeff's all, "Wha-a-a?!" then bellows, "You're asking me to forgive you? Are you out of your mind?" and Adam's like, "Well d'yuh" and retroactively pleads temporary insanity. Jeff doesn't buy it and says the poisoning was obviously premeditated and threatens to go to the authorities, but Adam reminds him that he just lost his child and sadly asks, "Isn't that punishment enough?" Jeff's like, "Uh no" so Adam gets all snarky and tells him that if he presses charges, he'll just deny that he confessed the crime to Blake (along with his confession of a few seconds earlier, I assume) then stalks out of the study.

Adam enters the dining room, where Steven is glumly eating breakfast. Steven informs Adam that Jeff just told him he confessed to poisoning him and framing Alexis. Adam scoffs that Alexis isn't as innocent as she'd like everyone to believe, then urges Steven to look at their mother as an adult would, not a baby boy. It's interesting how quickly Adam's contriteness about his dastardly crimes is starting to wear off.

Jeff runs into Kirby as she ambles down the upstairs hall, looking pale. He ushers her back to her room and cautions her not to push herself too hard or rush into anything - like marry a creepy psychopath, for example. He doesn't get how on earth she can marry Adam, and she cryptically says they all get what they deserve in life, and that she can live with that. Whatever, Kirby.

Blake is sitting at Fallon's bedside, repeatedly barking her name and asking if she can hear him...but she doesn't stir. Jeff enters the room and says he'll take over the next sitting vigil shift, and Blake agrees and says there's something he needs to take care of.

Blake meets again with Eric at his Denver-Carrington office to discuss the state chairmainship. Eric tells him he has a press conference lined up, and that he needs a PR person and has the perfect candidate in mind: Krystle! He then pretends to rethink that dumb suggestion and says that since she's his wife, it may cause the press to look unfavorably on that...then decides it can't possibly be Krystle. Smooth, Eric. He asks Blake if there's anyone else on staff he trusts, and Blake smiles knowingly as he buzzes Marsha and asks her to summon Tracy. In the next scene, Tracy looks fake surprised and reminds Blake that she already has a job at Denver-Carrington...but when he urges her to accept the position, she gushes, "I could never say no to you!" Blake leaves her to "get acquainted" with Eric...and once he's out of earshot, the two make arrangements to get together later for another romp.

At the hospital, Jeff apologizes to Alexis for all the terrible things he said to her when he thought she was the mastermind behind his poisoning, and she assures him that all is forgiven. A nurse rushes over to the waiting room to excitedly announce that Fallon is regaining consciousness! Alexis and Jeff rush after the nurse and hover over Fallon anxiously as she stirs and mumbles, "Peter.." but when she sees her mother, she gets agitated and barks, "Get out of here!" A miffed looking Alexis dejectedly exits the room.

Neil McVane enters Alexis' office to inform her that Blake has been named State Chairman of the Party. He gleefully points out that it means Blake will be privy to whatever political decisions are made in Colorado, which in turn spells success for Denver-Carrington...but doesn't mean anything good for ColbyCo. Alexis breezily tells him she's not going to sweat it, then buzzes Mark to escort "the unemployed congressman" out of the building. LOL. Once McVane is out of earshot, she tells Mark about Blake's new political appointment, then vows to do everything within her power to ensure that he doesn't get that seat.

McVane orders Mark to watch over Alexis like a hawk, 'cause he'd like to blackmail her once she's put her plan to destroy Blake in motion. He cackles about how desperate she'll be to pay him for his silence once her plot has been blown wide open. Sounds like the ex-congressman is in desperate need of a life.

Dr. Walker is examining Fallon. She tells him she doesn't remember much from the accident, and he says she seems fine, save for a slight skull fracture. He checks the reflexes of her arms, and everything seems A-OK in her upper body region...but when he does a reflex check of her feet, she tells him she can't feel anything. She then looks alarmed and cries, "OMG! I can't move my legs!" and Jeff concernedly furrows his caterpillar eyebrows.

Recap: Dr. Winfield calls Blake to let him know that Kirby has finally stabilized. Blake passes the news along to Krystle, who says how great that is, then frowns worriedly and remarks how wigged out he must be over Adam's confession. Blake concurs he is and says he'll confront his son about it tomorrow....then tells her he never would have been able to endure the various storylines of the last several episodes - Kirby's convulsey pregnancy, Allegre's fake kidnapping, Fallon's stoopid romance with Peter - without her love and support. Krystle smiles serenely, coos, "I love you darling", and assures him she'll always be here for her sugar daddy.

Kirby wakes up in her hospital bed in a groggy, confused state. Adam explains that she's been in the hospital for the past few days, and that he's been wringing his hands at her bedside the entire time. Kirby tells him she had a dream that she was holding her baby girl and asks him if it was just a dream...and Adam puts his anguished face on and tells her the doctors tried very hard to save her, but she was too small and weak. Kirby wigs out and shrieks, "Noooo!" and blames herself for the baby's death 'cause of how much she hated her up until the minute before she was born. Adam assures her that his rape spawn must have sensed how much she was loved...and the two hug and weep over what they've just lost.

Fallon summons Claudia to her La Mirage office and tells her that since she and Peter will be honeymooning for the next month or so, she'd like her to take charge of all the upcoming banquets and conventions. Claudia makes a blech face and says she doesn't get why this wedding/honeymoon has to be so madcap, and Fallon giggles and says, "It's my middle name, isn't it?" Claudia gushes about how much she admires everything she's accomplished in her [privileged] life - with the YUGE exception of her engagement to Peter, who gives her a serious case of the heebie-jeebies. When Fallon asks her why Peter icks her out so much, Claudia tells her that he's made passes at her on several occasions. Fallon brushes it off as Peter just being friendly around women, and Claudia shrugs at her stubborn delusion and says it's up to her if that's the way she chooses to see it. Fallon says it is, then coldly tells her to run along now so she can finish up her work.

Tracy's getting it on with her old reporter friend from New York, Jeremy, who writes for the sleazy tabloid rag, The Whisper. She coyly tells him she's picked up some pointers in the sack since moving to Denver...and when he looks intrigued and says he'd like to experience them all, she says they first need to talk business and offers to give him some "hot tips" he can publish in his rag. She poutishly tells him she was cheated out of the top PR job at Denver-Carrington by the boss's trophy wife, and plans to do everything in her power to drag her down. The camera then pans over to her bulletin board, which is filled with newspaper clippings on various salacious stories related to the Carringtons. 

Fallon takes a break in her workday and drops by the mansion to spend some quality time with her son. She runs into Jeff, who asks her whaddup with her wedding plans...and she tells him that nothing definite has been scheduled yet, then snaps, "It's none of your business!" Jeff points out that anything that affects their son is his business, and warns her to keep the weird Eurotrash hustler away from anyone named Colby.

Jeff gets a flat tire not far from Carrington manor, so he calls Tony to come and change his tire for him...and Tony quickly drives over in an unbuttoned shirt. I've noticed that he seems to enjoy baring his chest whenever possible. Tony gabbles to Jeff about how upset Blake was when Allegre went missing and worried that he blamed him for the kidnapping...and then the scene cuts to Jeff recounting this conversation to Blake. He tells him that Tony reportedly drank less than a glass of wine before passing out, and Blake solemnly mulls that over and says it's likely he was drugged.

Blake summons Jack, Allegre's trainer and Peter loyalist, to an impromptu interrogation with Jeff and himself. Jack says he was very shaken up when the horse went missing, and recalls that on the night it happened, he was eating pizza and drinking wine with Tony. Blake gets him to confirm that they were the only two people anywhere near the stables on that fateful night...and when Jack leaves the meeting, he looks nervous as he glances around shiftily.

Steven and Claudia are enjoying a buffet lunch at the La Mirage. She's still weirded out by the violets delivery from three days ago, and Steven tells her it's just a sick joke and to forget about it. She tells him that all of this conjuring of memories has made her "see" Lindsay again - ack! - and that she had a vision of her at their Season 1 bungalow decked out in a fancy yellow dress. Steven urges her to forget about the flowers and the weird Lancelot messages, but Claudia tears up and says she can't stand the fact that someone she doesn't know is out there and hates her enough to torment her with tedious violet deliveries.

Steven tells Alexis that some nut has been sending Claudia violets and cards signed Lancelot, and Alexis says it's obviously someone with a perverse mind who's trying to cause her great suffering. When Steven glares at her accusingly, she insists she had nothing to do with it. Steven reminds her she's never liked Claudia, and has never given her enough credit for working through her nuttiness by spending all that much needed time at the Funny Farm. Alexis points out that the worst she's done is level minor criticisms at Claudia concerning her bad mullet hair and frumpy clothes...and that it's a far cry from terrorizing her with strange flower deliveries. She tells Steven she loves him too much to hurt someone he loves and begs him to believe her, and Steven suddenly looks sheepish and apologizes for thinking the worst about her.

Blake orders his secretary Marsha to summon Dex to his office, 'cause he needs to give him a stern talkin' to asap.

Jeff calls up his private investigator, Victor, to ask him to look into Peter's claim that he purchased $2 million dollars worth of diamonds to pay for Allegre's ransom.

When Dex arrives at Denver-Carrington, Blake tells him that his father, Sam Dexter, asked him to have a chat with his misguided son regarding his partnership with Alexis and to do his best to straighten out his head. Blake says it's rumored that he's hitting the sheets with Alexis, and warns him that she'll use him for as long as their business/sexual relationship satisfies her...but eventually she'll do everything she can to destroy and/or get rid of him. Dex seems amused by Blake's dire warning, then shuts him down and says he doesn't want to hear this kind of trash-talk about his lady. He then reveals that his spineless father once told him that he had an affair with Alexis while she was married to him (Blake), and Blake grimly mutters, "First the father, then the son" - eww - and murmurs that his ex-wife is "a real humdinger". Dex says that only he chooses his business and bed partners and declares that he's deeply in love with Alexis. Blake's like, "Blech...but whatever" then shrugs and says he kept his promise to Sam by having this awkward conversation. He wishes the dumb sap luck with his ill-fated relationship, and Dex smugly grins and stalks out of the office.

At the La Mirage restaurant, Claudia tells Alexis about the weird flower deliveries she's been getting and agonizes about who could be so cruel. Alexis suggests she bring the letters to the police so they could try to track down who's been doing this - but Claudia says she's reluctant to do that 'cause she worries they'll think she's just being paranoid and crazy. Alexis tells her that her days of being a Funny Farm patient are behind her, and urges her to leave all that in the past.

Adam drops by Blake's office to report that Kirby is finally out of danger. He then tells Blake that not only did he poison Jeff, but he tricked Alexis into signing purchase papers from The Toxic Paint Store to make it look like she was the culprit. Blake exclaims, "How could you have done that?! You could have killed Jeff!" and Adam says he never intended to kill him - just temporarily weaken his ability to think straight so that Alexis could secure her position as top dog at ColbyCo, thereby earning her love. Blake tells him how dicked up that is, and reminds him that real love can't be bought or negotiated...and Adam says he totally gets that now, and realizes that nothing can make up for his past crimes. He says he's going to 'fess up to Jeff, then return to this office to receive his official punishment. Blake says he has no idea what that will be, and Adam says he'll accept whatever it ends up being.

Blake drops by ColbyCo to apologize to Alexis for ever doubting the love she has for her children...then tells her he knows about Adam poisoning Jeff. He says he needs her help trying to understand their psychotic son, in particular what kind of punishment to dispense (report him to the police? fire him from Denver-Carrington? sternly admonish him?). He cries, "Help meeee!" and Alexis says she totally gets what he's going through, 'cause she went through it herself when she first learned what Adam had done. She tells him she went to Billings to talk to Dr. Edwards and learned that Adam had a nervous breakdown...and before that was a lonely boy with no real family or friends in his life. Blake says he now regrets calling off the search when Adam was kidnapped as an infant, and Alexis tells him it's all in the past now...and that perhaps what Adam needs most is love [and probably some 'round the clock anti-psychotic-tendencies therapy]. Blake thanks her for making time to talk to him 'bout this, then heads over to the elevator...and Alexis stares after him with a pouty, longing look on her face.  

Dex is at the penthouse, drinking, when Alexis returns home. He tells her he gave Mark the night off, then jokes that he wants to be the one to guard her body tonight. Alexis tells him she's tired and just wants to be alone tonight, but he's like, "No can do" and decides that it's the ideal moment to propose to her. Alexis tells him it's very sweet that he wants to marry her...and that while she has strong feelings for him, she isn't ready to plunge into a marriage. She tells him she likes their sack-based relationship, but he insists he wants a wife, not just a lover. She's like, "Whatever" and tells him she's not in the mood for lovin' right now 'cause she went through something emotionally heavy with Blake just now...and Dex gets irked and accuses her of not being able to fully let go of Blake. She denies it, they bicker about her denial...blah blah...and she orders him to leave. Dex sternly says he refuses to take no for an answer, then grabs her by the shoulders and forcibly smooches her. He vows to make her forget she ever met Blake, then barks, "How about that?!" and stalks off...leaving her staring after him in kind of a turned on way.

The next morning, Alexis is lounging on her couch, trying to get in touch with her old European pal, Princess Maria Elena. Mark eavesdrops and says he has a hunch that she's trying to screw up things between Fallon and Peter...and Alexis coldly tells him his hunches are unwelcome, and that she's rethinking keeping him on as her bodyguard. Mark bitterly guffaws and says that McVane was right when he predicted she'd eventually try to get rid of him. Alexis says he shouldn't be talking to that washed-up nut, then orders him to get lost. A few seconds later, she gets a return call from Princess Maria Elena and asks her if she remembers a cad named Peter De Vilbis. 

Alexis heads straight over to the La Mirage to tell Fallon that Princess Maria Elena told her that Peter dumped her 'cause she was pregnant and refused to have an abortion. Fallon rolls her eyes and says that the princess probably just wanted to trap Peter, and that he refused to be trapped. Mmm...no. Doesn't seem reasonable that a European royal, who's probably in a high enough station in life to have any man she wants, would waste her time trying to trap a low-life playboy like Peter. Alexis reminds Fallon that she has a son, then asks her what she'll do if Peter order her to ditch the kid so they can jet around the world. Fallon insists that Peter loves her and is pretty sure he'll love her son too. LOL. Alexis reminds her that she knows first-hand what it's like to be deprived of her children, then strongly suggests she look into Peter's love/indifference with respect to his future stepson before taking the marital plunge.
​
Tracy flounces into Krystle's office and shows her an unflattering article about her in The Whisper. Krystle looks at the incorrectly punctuated headline, Are the rich above the law!, then peruses the article, which accuses her of being the spoiled wife of a tycoon who's pretending to be a career lady. Tracy points out that the article includes a juicy tidbit about her marriage to Mark, and her failure to properly divorce him before marrying Blake for the first time. She tells Krystle it's obvious that someone wants to embarrass her, then offers to "go after" that person...but Krystle frowns and tells her it's probably best to leave it alone. Tracy snarkishly disagrees and urges her to fight back, but Krystle remains mute and just stares pensively into space.

Jeff checks in with Victor and learns that, just as he suspected, there was no purchase of $2 million dollars worth of diamonds in Denver on the day Peter claimed the purchase was made. Jeff calls up Blake on his car phone, and the two agree to meet at La Mirage so they can deal with Lyin' Peter together. 

Jeff makes a beeline over to Fallon's office and tells her he has proof that Peter is a crook, and that he was the one behind the kidnapping of Allegre...along with Jack, who drugged Tony so there'd be no witnesses. What all of this means, he earnestly spells out to his idiot ex-wife, is that Peter didn't actually put up any ransom money - but instead took Blake's money and has most likely absconded with it. Fallon angrily accuses him of "inventing garbage" against the man she loves, and that she intends to put a stop to it right now. She storms out of her office and heads upstairs to Peter's suite. 

Peter's creepy lawyer answers the door and tells Fallon that Peter has left Denver...but that he did leave her a message: don't come looking for me 'cause I have no desire to ever see you again. Ouch. Fallon scrunches her face confusedly and asks him what kind of sick game he's playing, and he tells her that while Peter found her very beautiful and amusing, their romance is over now that he's done with the long con. Fallon remembers what Jeff just told her and asks the lawyer if her father's money has anything to do with this, and he says he's not at liberty to talk 'bout that (so, uh, yes). Fallon wails, "My God!" and has audio flashbacks of all the recent warnings she's received about Peter from various family and friends.

Recap: Kirby continues to convulse while Dr. Winfield checks her vitals and barks orders at the nurses. A distraught Adam moans, "Oh dear God, please help her.." as Blake hustles him out of the room. In the next scene, the doctor informs the Carringtons that he hopes to have Kirby stabilized within a few hours - since her high blood pressure could cause her brain to implode at any moment. He says that as soon as she stabilizes, he'll perform a Caesarian - and Adam looks alarmed and says the baby isn't fully developed and therefore, as he himself said during the previous episode, wouldn't have a good chance of surviving. The doctor's like, "Well d'yuh", but that since Kirby's life is in serious jeopardy, he can't risk waiting much longer. He urges everyone to go home, since there's nothing any of them can do for Kirby for the next several hours. Blake tells Krystle that tomorrow he has an emergency closed door Energy Studies Commission Meeting in D.C. he probably shouldn't cancel, so he's going to head home and pack for that. Adam insists on overnighting it at the hospital...and when Krystle offers to stay and keep him company, he gives her a grateful hug.

Blake arrives home and tells his manservant he needs him to pack an overnight bag for his D.C. trip...then gets a call from Peter, who's about to fly out of LAX. Blake tells him he still doesn't like the idea of paying a ransom of diamonds to Allegre's kidnappers and keeping the police out of the loop, and Peter snarkishly reminds him that half of the ransom money is his...then says his flight is about to board and abruptly hangs up. Fallon, who has been eavesdropping from the doorway of the study, asks Blake why he's always so dickish to Peter...and Blake tells her he doesn't approve of the way Peter is handling the ransom request, and that (in general) the weirdo is starting to make the hair on his neck stand up. Fallon says she's chosen to ignore all the red flags flapping around her Eurotrashy inamorato and stupidly insists she's marrying a terrific guy - but Blake reminds her how little she knows about him, and that she's proven to be far too impulsive when it comes to marriage, as evidenced by her ill-fated elopement with Jeff in Season 1. Fallon insists that her second marriage has nothing at all to do with Jeff, then snarks at her father to just come out and say he doesn't approve of Peter. Blake tells her he can't formulate an opinion about a man he barely knows, then says he knows and loves her and doesn't want her to get hurt. Fallon poutsishly says that someone has been publicly badmouthing Peter and suspects Jeff - but Blake tells her that, in fact, Alexis has been the one tittering about a nasty scandal that Peter allegedly instigated. He then urges her to pay her mother a visit and learn as much as possible about her creeptastic future husband.

Over at the penthouse, Alexis is daintily eating scrumptious looking delicacies from a silver tray and admitting to Fallon that, yep, she's been telling anyone who will listen that Peter De Vilbis is a shady, soulless, shell of a hard-hearted douchewad. She says she was in Mallorca when she witnessed Peter publicly dump his rich young fiancee then jet off to Monte Carlo with a sexy starlet...and when the fiancee heard about the starlet, she tried to commit suicide. She tells Fallon she's very concerned about her hooking up with such a callous troll, but Fallon snaps, "Stay out of my life!", says she doesn't trust a word that comes out of her mouth, and reminds her of that weird scene when she crawled into Mark's bed while he was in the shower so that she could "catch her in the act" enjoying a glass of post-coital champagne. LOL. That awesome scene was as ickily repugnant as it was delicious to watch. She accuses Alexis of being jealous of her happiness, since she hasn't been able to find joy with a man since Blake threw her out of Carrington manor. Ouch. Mark emerges from his servant's hovel and stares at the ugly scene with an amused expression on his face...but Fallon ignores him as she whirls around, barks at her mother once more to stay out of her life, and flounces towards the elevator.

Krystle asks Blake if he'd like her to fly to D.C. with him, but he tells her he'd prefer it if she held down the fort at home - considering everything that's going on with Kirby, Allegre, and his idiot daughter. He then stares contemplatively into space and mutters, "Maybe I'm wrong about Peter...hopefully." Right. 'Cause he always seems like such a normal, non-creepish, appropriate kind of guy.

Jeff spots Peter at the La Mirage bar and offers a sarcastic congratulations about his impending nuptials. Peter grunts thank you...then looks irked when Jeff sits beside him and lectures him about giving Fallon flying lessons. Peter argues that Fallon is determined to learn how to fly...and that he's her instructor - in air and in bed - (ew), and Jeff dry-heaves in disgust and gives him a hard smack across the face, which was soooo super awesome to watch. The two start taking swings at each other until Fallon rushes over and breaks it up...then shames Jeff for not spending more of his spare time at the hospital with his convulsing wife.  

Over at the hospital, a stressed looking Dr. Winfield is working overtime trying to stabilize Kirby. I think it's time to seriously consider unplugging her.

Alexis and Mark return to the penthouse after a night at the opera, and the two share a drink and compliment each other's hotness. Alexis asks him if he misses the days of yore when they used to regularly indulge in nooners...but instead of letting him answer, she seductively asks him to take off her gaudy necklace. He obediently does and then lifts her little hat veil (LOL) so he can lean in for a kiss - but she abruptly pulls away and instructs him to take the necklace to the jeweller's and get the clasp fixed 'cause it's been bothering her all night. Mark's all, "Wha-a?" ... and when Alexis ignores him and struts across the room to go upstairs to bed, he and his deflated penis dejectedly shuffle off. 

Fallon and Peter are going at it in front of the fireplace in his La Mirage suite, which...ew. He orders her to tell him how happy she is that he's back from LA ('cause that's not weird)...and a few seconds later, he gets a call from the fake kidnappers. Peter tells them he has the $2 million in diamonds, as per the bizarre instructions, then warns whoever's on the other end not to harm the poor horse. After he hangs up, he tells Fallon he just received instructions on where to deliver the diamonds in exchange for Allegre...and Fallon offers to go with him in the absence of Blake, who's in D.C. on business. Peter refuses to endanger her, then caresses her face and orders her to wait in the suite so she doesn't put two and two together and figure out that he's up to no good.

​Adam is pacing the hospital's waiting room when Jeff drops by to report that he looked in on Kirby and is keeping his fingers crossed that she'll somehow make it through this endless pregnancy-in-crisis storyline. He then remarks on how they've been enemies since their first interaction in the Siblings episode and admits to resenting his presence in ColbyCo and dickishly attempting to put him in his place. He assures Adam that he [is totally brushing off the fact that he's a vile rapist and] now sees him as an equal...but that all of their past cockswinging is unimportant in light of what's now happening with Kirby. Jeff recalls the way he blamed him for the poisoning that made him act so squirrelly for much of Season 3...and that it was later proven to be Alexis' doing. He apologizes for "wrongly" accusing him, and a mute Adam stares back at him with a stricken look on his face.

Jeff and Krystle share a brandy in the study and have a heart-to-heart. He laments that he had no right to marry Kirby...and that he's caused her nothing but heartache, since he's still in love with Fallon. He then stares mournfully into space and says it's not over with his fickle ex...but Krystle scrunches her face confusedly and says it has to be, 'cause her life is currently going in another direction. Jeff says he's pretty sure that Peter is going to hurt her, and that he feels helpless 'cause he can't do anything about it...and Krystle just stares back at him, her face contorted in her default expression of pensive concern.  

Adam is sleeping in the waiting room at the hospital, dreaming and crying out, "Kirrrrrrby!" The nurse pokes him awake and asks him if he's OK...and he stares bewilderedly into space, then says he needs to see Kirby, pronto. When he enters her room, Dr. Winfield has determined that her blood pressure is still too high, then barks at the nurses to transport her to Intensive Care STAT! Adam encourages the unconscious Kirby to continuing fighting to keep herself and their rape spawn alive.

Fallon and Peter happily inform Blake that Allegre is back in his stable, safe and sound. Blake is irked that no one called him regarding the ransom drop-off, and insists that he had been reachable in D.C. Fallon pissily tells him he should be more grateful to Peter for risking his life to handle this crisis...and Blake sheepishly apologizes and says he's just happy that the horse is back.  

Over at the stables, the trainer assures Blake that Allegre is fine and shows no sign of mistreatment. When the police sergeant arrives, Peter gives him his account of the ransom drop-off...after which he was told he could find Allegre in a nearby pasture. The sergeant is annoyed that he wasn't informed about the initial, scrapbook-esque ransom letter and snarks, "Maybe they don't play it that way where you're from" and Peter puffs up his little chest and nonsensically replies, "Maybe you don't know who you're talking to. I'm Peter De Vilbis. I'm not vun ov zuh trash you usually deal vis." Fallon quickly ushers Peter out of the stable and stubbornly refuses to get a clue about how weird he acts in every fucking situation...and Jeff quietly remarks to Blake that Peter's continued bitchiness is very odd, considering that the horse has been returned. Blake mulls that over and solemnly replies, "Maybe there's more to Peter than any of us knows."

​Tracy tells Blake that, according to her secret sources, an oil rich plot in Wyoming owned by Oscar Stone was just purchased by Lex-Dex, Inc. Blake says he's deeply impressed by her loyalty and overall work performance, and Tracy flirtily giggles and says, "I'll be sure to keep it up!" and compliments the "lovely warmth" emanating from him that always makes her feel so welcome at Denver-Carrington. OMFG, I can't even fathom where the writers think they're going with this unholy flirtation.

Disgraced ex-Congressman Neil McVane arrives at ColbyCo after being summoned by Alexis. She shoots him a smug smirk and reminds him that he tried to strangle her in this very office, and he sheepishly says it happened a long time ago and hopes she can just let bygones be bygones. Alexis is like, "Er, not" and tells him she's looking to hire a D.C.-based consultant for when her Canadian tar sands deal comes through...and McVane perks up and reminds her of how well connected he is in D.C. Alexis rattles off the names of two prospective consultants and asks him which of them he'd recommend, and McVane looks crestfallen and tells her that he would be the best person for the job and barks, "You owe me!" Alexis says she doesn't owe him a damn thing...and a few seconds later, Mark enters her office to drop off her newly repaired necklace. Not sure why he wouldn't have just taken it straight to the penthouse. Alexis orders him to escort the ex-Congressman out of the building...and when McVane protests about being dicked around purely for her amusement, she growls, "Get out of my sight, you miserable has-been!"

Mark escorts McVane to the nearest strip club, and the two order a drink and moan about the shittiness of living sad, testicle-free lives under Alexis' thumb. McVane openly tells Mark he'd kill Alexis if killing wasn't too good for her...but figures he can bring her to her knees by hitting her in the checkbook. Mark says he doesn't want to hear him trash-talking his boss, so McVane reminds him that Alexis had him arrested after he rescued her from the cabin fire...then warns him that Alexis will throw him away like yesterday's news once he's outlived his usefulness to her.
​
Kirby is being wheeled into surgery for a Cesarean. Steven comforts Adam, assuring him she'll be OK...then regales him with stories of how brave and sassy Kirby was when they were kids...blah blah. Adam thanks him for his kindness and says it's nice to have a brother, then grimly says, "It'll take a miracle to get Kirby through this."

Dex sexily strides into Alexis' office after spending the day in Utah, and gives her an intense smooch. He tells her that Blake has summoned him to Denver-Carrington, but assures her that nothing and no one will kibosh their land deal with Oscar Stone.

Claudia is chatting with Krystle at the La Mirage when she gets another delivery of violets with a Love, Lancelot note. Ugh. This again. Looking ashen-faced, she explains to Krystle that Matthew used to send her violets and that her nickname for him was Lancelot (despite it never being in the script throughout the entire first season), then recalls the last time she saw Matthew - the Season 1 finale when he mercifully absconded with Lindsey off-camera. She asks Krystle if she's seen him since then...and, if so, does he hate her for marrying a gay straight man? Krystle gives her a funny look and reminds her that Matthew was killed off after his storyline was deemed by producers to be lame-ass and unwatchable, but Claudia says she has doubts that he's really really dead, and is worried he's trying to punish her. She wonders if it's possible for Lindsey to still be alive [OMFG...I sure as shit hope not], then gets teary and clutches the violets.

Dex admits to Blake that he and Alexis (aka Lex-Dex, Inc.) signed a deal with Oscar Stone, and Blake snarkishly reminds him that he's on the board of Denver-Carrington - which makes such a deal a YUGE conflict of interest, and threatens to kick him off the board. Dex shrugs, challenges him to do it, says his joint ventures are none of his business, and stalks out of his office. A few seconds later, Blake's secretary buzzes to inform him that Kirby was just taken into surgery...and Blake's like, "Ack!" and immediately rushes over to the hospital.  

Adam is in the chapel, praying for Kirby, when Blake enters and seats himself beside him in the pew. Adam natters about how alone he feels deep inside 'cause of what a psychotic shithead he's been since first appearing on Dynasty...then confesses to being the mastermind behind Jeff's paint poisoning. Blake scrunches his face in confusion and says that can't be 'cause he saw Alexis' name on the toxic paint purchase order, and Adam explains that he duped Alexis into signing it...and fervently hopes he can be forgiven. As Blake processes the shocking confession, Dr. Winfield enters the chapel to inform them that Kirby is alive...but that her baby girl didn't make it. Adam looks tormented and starts wailing, and a discombobulated looking Blake half-heartedly pats him on the shoulder. Awkward.

Recap: The police arrive at Carrington Farms to investigate the abduction of Allegre. A police sergeant questions Krystle and Blake...and then Tony ambles over and says he didn't see or hear a thing. The sergeant looks skeptical and asks him if he tied one on last night, and Tony admits he had a little wine with his pizza before falling asleep.

Kirby is tossing, turning, and moaning in her sleep. Jeff pokes his head inside her bedroom - but when he sees Adam hovering at her bedside, he wisely tiptoes back out. Kirby wakes up and whines about how annoying it is to just lay around, but Adam urges her to rest and get her blood pressure under control. He coos at her reassuringly and says that somehow they'll all get through this OK. Kirby wonders aloud why she should marry him, so he reminds her she's carrying his rape spawn...plus she no longer has a husband, father, or any friends to speak of. He caresses her face and says they're all each other has in the world, and she helplessly concedes that sad fact and drifts off to sleep.

Allegre's trainer (Jack) laments to Fallon and Peter about how sorry he is that the horse vanished from his stall. Peter dickishly snaps, "You ah not paid to vatch television" - and Fallon tut tuts him for his uncalled-for bitchitude and says they really can't blame Jack for Allegre's disappearance. The sergeant then walks over and tells Peter and Blake that he needs to speak with them privately.  

In the study, the sergeant asks Blake and Peter to disclose whatever info they might have about their enemies...and when they both scrunch their faces in pretend confusion, the sergeant says there's no way that wealthy, powerful, dickish men such as themselves wouldn't have pissed off a lot of people on their way to the top. Blake argues that the horse's disappearance is most likely about getting a ransom, then barks at the sergeant to stop his witch hunt for enemies and focus on horse kidnappers. Instead of telling Blake where he can shove his unsolicited advice on how to conduct an official police investigation, the sergeant meekly nods...which, gaaa!

Alexis is dressed in a scarily poofy pink ball gown for a night out at the ballet, which seems overly dressy...but OK. After trying to track down Dex by phone, he arrives at her penthouse a few minutes later looking dirty and disheveled from scouting oil fields all day. He tells her he found some land in Wyoming that has five working oil wells - and that it's owned by some old coot who hasn't been paying his bills and is currently facing foreclosure. Alexis perks up and says they can go to the ballet any old time and insists they fly out to Wyoming asap and convince the old coot to sell them his property. An exhausted Dex suggests they wait until morning, then starts stripping off his clothes...and Alexis looks all into his naked form - including his freakishly hairy back - and the two rub up against each other and start going at it.

Over at Carrington manor, Claudia is studying the note that came with the delivery of violets she received during the previous episode when Steven enters the room carrying a bottle of champagne and two glasses. He asks her why she hasn't thrown the violets away yet, and she spacily replies, "I didn't want to let go of them." Steven reminds her that they were sent by someone who clearly has a sick, perverted mind...and that since she's a Carrington, it's inevitable that people are going to take shots at her. He then takes the flowers and accompanying note and tosses them into the fireplace...and Claudia does her best to not start twitching, and assures him that she's still in her happy place.

Adam tells Jeff they need to talk, then apologizes for raping Kirby and for his general dickwadishness this season. That said, he reminds Jeff that he never really loved Kirby, and that their marriage was a rebound 'cause he's never fully gotten over Fallon. He implores Jeff to be reasonable, then holds out his hand...and Jeff stares at it disdainfully for a few seconds before finally shaking it.
​
Kirby wakes up and tries to pour herself a drink with a heavy glass pitcher (Tupperware would have been so much lighter) - but when her hands start shaking uncontrollably, she's all, "Ack!" and drops the pitcher onto the floor. Jeff hears the glass shattering and runs into her room to see whassup. Kirby wails that her hands won't stop convulsing, and Jeff urges her to chillax...and a few seconds later, Adam bursts into the room. He's aghast at the sight of Kirby's out-of-control hands and barks at Jeff to call the doctor.​

Kirby is admitted into the hospital...and after examining her, Dr. Winfield tells Jeff (and Adam who's also standing there) that Kirby has preeclampsia, which could possibly lead to organ failure or a stroke. He adds that Kirby is additionally screwed 'cause he's unable to perform a Caesarian until the spawn is more developed. Adam demands to know what he's going to do, and Dr. Winfield chides him for interrupting him while he tells the father whassup...and Adam puffs up his little chest and announces that he's the baby daddy. Dr. Winfield's all, "Wha-a?" and stares at Adam and Jeff in mute bewilderment.

Fallon and Peter arrive at La Mirage and are besieged by reporters who pepper them with questions about Allegre's kidnapping. When they quickly bore of the poor horse's plight, they ask the lovebirds how they met and if someone introduced them, and Peter brusquely declares, "She vill zoon be Mrs. Peter De Vilbis". When Fallon widens her eyes and is all, "Wha-a?!" one of the reporters cheerily remarks that it looks like the impending marriage is news to the bride...and Peter goes, "Really? Judge vor yourzelves" then pulls Fallon toward him and gives her a grotesque smooch. The reporters chuckle delightedly and cackle about how much fun it's going to be to cover yet another lavish Carrington wedding. I can only assume that this must be one slow news day in Denver.

Kirby wakes up in her hospital bed and finds - ack! - Blake and Krystle hovering over her. She moans about how afraid she is of falling asleep in case something bad happens, but Krystle smilingly assures her that everything is going to be A-OK. Blake ambles out to the waiting room and finds Adam glumly staring into space. Blake urges him to go home and get some rest, but Adam insists on staying so he can be near his beloved, who he says he now regrets assaulting. Blake tells him he's making up for it now, and Adam wails, "Can I?" then remarks that whenever he loves someone, he ends up smothering them and frightening them away. Blake says that [hopefully] his psychotic behavior is all in the past, and Adam concurs and vows to give Kirby the kind of un-smothering, non-violent affection she deserves.  

Blake tells Krystle that the doctors have managed to stabilize Kirby...and now that that's settled, he's hoping for some good news about Allegre. He then frowns and expresses dismay about Peter's proposal to Fallon on live TV and says there's something about the guy he can't quite put his finger on ['cause, yeah, it's just so hard to see that weirdo for the Eurotrashy, brazen con artist he is]. He sighs, now regretting his irresponsibleness in raising Fallon to be an impulsive brat who grabs at what she wants without ever thinking it through. 

Fallon joins Jeff in the mansion's breakfast room. He glumly congratulates her on her impending nuptials, and Fallon gabbles about how much she looooves Peter's style. Jeff makes a seriously? face and asks her why the douche would propose to her so publicly, and Fallon doesn't have a retort for that and tells Jeff he's just going to have to get used to her and Peter being a couple. She credits her fiance with being a hardworking man who's earned everything he has - unlike him (Jeff) who just got handed everything from a rich uncle. Jeff flinches at the bitchy comparison and starts to storm off in disgust - and Fallon hastily apologizes and sheepishly says she didn't mean what she just said. He snaps, "Save it!" and says he knows she meant exactly what she said.

Alexis and Dex are hanging in a Wyoming bar with Oscar Stone, the landowner they're trying to cut a deal with. Alexis, who's decked out in a fantastic brown leather jacket and pants, coos to Oscar about how attractive he is (not), then purrs at him to accept their offer. Oscar scrunches his face in deep contemplation and says he can't make up his mind all quick-like 'cause there's another party interested in buying his land. Alexis fake brightens and chirps, "I'm in the mood for dancing!" - LOL - and invites Oscar to hit the dance floor with her. Oscar bounds down the stairs and gets the resident fiddler and guitar player to start playing a high-energy folk song...and a dismayed Dex creepily watches them from a few feet away. After several minutes of fancy footwork, square dance style - ye haw! - the musicians dial it down with a slow song, and Alexis allows Oscar to press against her while they sway to the music. He drunkenly asks her if she'll take good care of his land if he sells it to her, and she replies, "Of course!" then whispers something in his ear that makes him cackle with delight. She then sashays over to Dex and covertly explains that closing this deal will require her to either sing for Oscar or sleep with him - and since there's no way in hell she's hitting the sheets with the dumb yokel, a performance it is. She then takes the stage, sits astride a chair that's facing backwards, and belts out Boys in the Backroom. Everyone in the bar cheers at her sassy performance. 

Steven drops by the study to see whassup with Blake...and Blake tells him he's bummed about his kidnapped horse and could use a drink. As he pours two brandies, Steven gabbles about how comfortable he feels in the mansion now that he's no longer living the gay lifestyle that always grated on the homophobic douchewad and sparked so many tedious arguments between them - in this very study. He asks Blake if he has any problem with him living at Carrington manor and working for Alexis at ColbyCo, and Blake chuckles and says he deeply admires his fierce sense of independence, and urges him to never lose it. He assures him it's totes fine with him to continue his job at ColbyCo, and Steven thanks him for being so understanding and raises his glass in the air before taking a sip.

In a cheap Wyoming motel room, Alexis and Dex celebrate the contracts they were finally able to persuade Oscar to sign. Dex compliments her shrewd dealmaking abilities and says he'd really like to get it on with her once he's had a shower. He strips off his clothes and strides into the bathroom naked, and Alexis grins with horny delight as she checks out his taut buttocks and freakishly hairy back, then also gets naked and joins him in the shower.

Peter is loafing in Fallon's office at the La Mirage when Claudia enters and is all, "Ack!" when she sees him creepily standing there. Peter smirkingly asks her if she's going to congratulate him, and she snorts with disgust and says that Fallon is very important to her, and that she doesn't want to see her get hurt. She snarls about seeing him "in action", meaning he makes passes at any woman who's handy...then scowls at his obnoxious smirking and says it probably wouldn't be very funny to Fallon. Peter continues to smirk and says, "About making passes. You mean zomezing like zis?" and pulls her toward him for a forcible smooch - but Claudia pulls away, smacks him across the face, and storms out.

Mark runs into Fallon at the La Mirage bar and scoffs about how wonderful it is to see money marry money. Fallon says that her deep love for Eurotrash has nothing to do with money...and when he asks, "What does it have to do with then?" she flounces away without answering.

At Denver-Carrington, Blake receives a note from Allegre's kidnapper, which is pieced together using cut out letters and numbers. Looks like it was a fun scrapbooking-type project. Krystle bursts into his office after being urgently summoned, and he hands her the note: $2,000,000 in diamonds or Allegre is shot. No cops. Blake grimaces and says he doesn't like those terms one bit - LOL - but Peter announces that he will pay the entire ransom himself. His lawyer concurs and says they'll call the cops once the horse has been returned (not). Blake doesn't like the sound of that plan, but easily caves in.

Tracy is at the La Mirage, having lunch with her old boss, Bill Rockwell. Bill tells her that his new PR firm is doing very well and offers to hire her. He promises an excellent salary and loads of responsibilities, but Tracy declines and says she's headed for the top at Denver-Carrington. Bill looks skeptical and reminds her that Blake is never going to fire or demote Krystle - but Tracy says she doubts that Krystle will be an employee for much longer, then dishes to him that she had an appointment with Dr. Winfield, an obstetrician. She figures that Krystle wants to have a baby, which means she'll probably quit Denver-Carrington soon to be a full-time mother. Tracy says she's next in line for the top PR job, and Bill asks her if she has her eye on the boss as well - ew! gross! - then cheekily reminds her that she followed a similarly slutty path when she came to work for him. Meow, Bill.

Kirby tells Krystle she's feeling much better, and Krystle smiles serenely and says they all love her and will see her through this preeclampsia crisis. Kirby thanks her for always being there for her, especially through the hard times...and Krystle tells her how obvious it is that Adam wants this baby. Kirby concurs - then suddenly shrieks that she has a horrible pain in her head . She cries, "It's bursting! I can't stand it!" and Krystle races into the hall to summon help...and then Adam and Blake burst in, aghast at the sight of Kirby clutching her head and crying in pain. She continues to wig out while the nurse takes her blood pressure...and that's where the episode abruptly ends. Weird.

Recap: Kirby's at the doctor's office, having her pupils checked and blood pressure taken...while Krystle waits for her in the waiting room. The doctor tells Kirby she has mild preeclampsia and prescribes bed rest, and warns that if she doesn't stay off her feet, she may have to be hospitalized. Kirby thanks him, then goes back into the waiting room and fibs to Krystle when she tells her that her fingers are only sausage-like 'cause she's suffering from tension.  

Jeff breaks the news to Blake that he and Kirby are divorcing due to irreconcilable differences. Blake chides him for throwing away a marriage when a child is involved, but Jeff just kind of shrugs and says he's moving ahead with the divorce nonetheless. Blake offers to act as a mediator to help them resolve their differences, and Jeff somehow refrains from laughing at the idea of this belligerent old goat acting as a marriage counsellor, and politely tells him there's no possible way that his and Kirby's deeply-rooted [rape spawn] problems can be sorted out.  

On the way to the stables, Krystle tells Blake that Kirby is just suffering from tension, and Blake furrows his brows and grumbles about how irresponsible she and Jeff are being in getting divorced, and adds that he gets the feeling Jeff is hiding something. Krystle stays mum about Kirby's rapist baby daddy quagmire, and the two mount their horses and trot off for an afternoon ride.

Fallon and Peter are canoodling naked in front of the fire in her La Mirage suite, soaking up some post-coitus afterglow. She gushes about how he's brought some much needed excitement into her life...and this emboldens Peter into unveiling his cocaine stash. Fallon looks puzzled and asks whassup with that, and he replies, "I think you should have a real party" but Fallon says she's not into snorting blow 'cause she's seen too many people ruin their lives with the powdery poison. She holds up her glass and says she's happy to stick with guzzling champagne. Peter says he finds coke to be very stimulating, and smugly says he'll eventually get her to change her mind about powdering the inside of her nose. Ack! Red flag alert, Fallon. 

Alexis, who's gussied up in a shimmery white gown, calls the La Mirage restaurant to have a large bottle of Dom Perignon sent to the table where Steven, Claudia, Blake, and Krystle are celebrating Steven's birthday. Mark enters the living room and idly asks whassup, and Alexis smugly replies, "Keeping people off balance." Mark's like, "OK, whatevs" and says he's off to the gym...and passes Dex as he enters the penthouse decked out in a tuxedo. Alexis irritably reminds him that they were supposed to meet at the party/charity event, but Dex says he thought it would be much nicer if he picked her up and they made a dramatically grand entrance together. He notices that she's wearing the gaudy necklace he gave her during the previous episode and says it deeply pleases him, and she admits she's becoming fond of him too and gives him a sexy squeeze. Dex stares at her with creepish intensity and says he's a lot more than just fond of her, then breathlessly declares, "I'm falling in love with you." Alexis tells him not to say that 'cause it might spoil things between them...but then cancels her limo and gives him a long smooch.

During Steven's birthday dinner, Blake steps away from the table to talk to Fallon, who's stumbling around the La Mirage bar clutching a bottle of champagne. He tells her it looks weird for the hotel's owner to be openly carrying booze while visibly drunk, and she breezily explains that she's on her way to a friend's [coke and champagne] party.

The next morning at Carrington manor, Krystle tells Blake she's concerned about him sticking his big fat nose in Jeff's and Kirby's impending divorce - and Blake agrees that it's in no way his business to interfere in the lives of these adults and promises to back off. That is...uncharacteristically self-aware and considerate of him. Krystle tells him she'll meet him downstairs...and once he's out of hearing range, she gets on the phone and confirms her doctor's appointment for later that day.

Fallon enters the breakfast room, says good morning to Blake, and that she wants to discuss Adam - namely the obnoxious way he's trying to push her around while she's trying to do "something special and beautiful" at the La Mirage. Blake points out that the costs for the new addition are unnecessarily high, but Fallon insists she'll earn the money back from satisfied hotel guests and doesn't believe, as Adam does, that Peter's architect is being too extravagant. Blake says that Adam is super smart about real estate, and that he's been warned about Peter being a high roller - which is fine when he's risking his own funds, but he doesn't want Eurotrash to be influencing her. Fallon objects to the word influence, so Blake backs down and says he'll go over the cost sheets himself and talk to Peter as an impartial observer. Fallon goes, "Fine" and flounces off to the stables.
​
Fallon snarkishly orders Tony to have Sampson ready for her to ride this afternoon - but Tony warns her that Sampson is far too frisky a filly to safely ride. Jeff, who's also hanging around the stables, concurs. Fallon says she can take care of herself, then smugly mentions that Peter is giving her a flying lesson later. Jeff says he doesn't like the sound of that, and Fallon accuses him of objecting to her having a new lover...and Jeff looks icked out by the disturbing visual as he stares concernedly into space.  

Krystle tells her doctor - the same doctor Kirby saw earlier - that she's pensively upset with him for agreeing with Dr. Miller's findings, which are that she's as barren as the Sahara. He tells her that due to her uterus being all out of whack, she might possibly get pregnant, but won't likely be able to carry the baby to term. With that settled, he asks her how Kirby's bed rest is going, and Krystle's all, "Bed rest? Wha-a??" and tells him that, other than the sausage fingers, she had no idea anything was seriously wrong with her. The doctor tells her it's imperative that Kirby spend the rest of her pregnancy days resting, otherwise the consequences could be dire.

Blake asks Tracy if Krystle is in, and Tracy tells him that she had some kind of mysterious appointment. He grimaces and says that the Energy Studies Commission meeting just got moved up, and he needs his PR Director on hand in case the Commission people put him on the spot. Tracy dutifully jots down the new time and place of the meeting and promises to leave the message for Krystle...but when Blake leaves the office, she places the message onto the floor and smiles evilly.

Adam returns to Carrington manor to fetch some papers he forgot. He hears a weird noise coming from the nearby sitting room and quickly dashes over. He finds Kirby with her head slumped onto the piano keys - which was kind of a funny visual - so he picks her up, lugs her over to the hall, and calls for help. Krystle happens to enter the mansion at that moment, goes, "Ack!", and immediately calls the doctor.

Just before the Energy Studies Commission meeting is set to begin, Blake is pacing in front of the meeting room, checking his watch. Tracy arrives and tells Blake that Krystle never returned to the office, but that she'd be more than happy to fill in. He thanks her for her diligence...and then she gets all close and personal as she flirtily straightens his tie. OMFG the horror. He gigglingly thanks her, and the two head inside the meeting room. 

Adam watches as Baby Blake and Danny are being spoon fed by their nannies, and grins at the cuteness. Maid Jeannette walks by and remarks to Adam how beautiful the little Carrington heirs are, and Adam spacily contemplates the notion of Carrington heirs as he makes his way upstairs to see Kirby.

Adam urges Kirby to remain on bed rest, then asks her why she ignored the doctor's orders. She rambles something about ever since the baby was conceived, they deserve whatever happens to them...and Adam says that what they deserve is a wonderful child. He chides her for endangering her health and declares that their baby will be a Carrington. Furthermore, he no longer wants to hide the truth of the baby's paternity, and plans to announce to everyone that he's the baby daddy. When he proposes marriage again, Kirby stares back at him with a forlorn, defeated expression.

Blake pops into Krystle's office to let her know she missed the Energy Studies Commission meeting this afternoon. She's all, "Wha-a?" but he tells her it's A-OK 'cause Tracy stood in for her perfectly. He says that Tracy left her a note about the meeting change, but Krystle looks around her desk and says there's no note. After Blake is called away to take a call from the governor, Krystle summons Tracy and asks her what happened to the note regarding the meeting. Tracy plays dumb and says she left it atop her desk...so Krystle looks around and finally spots it on the floor. She snarks, "How did it get down there?!" and Tracy looks fake contrite and says she must have forgotten to weigh the note down...and a draft must have blown it off the desk. Krystle irritably snaps that she got back to the office in plenty of time to attend the earlier scheduled meeting, and Tracy cowers and whimpers, "You're angry." Krystle backs off and assures her it's all fine, and thanks her for filling in. Tracy thanks her for being so understanding, then smirks to herself as she flounces out of the room.

Blake is annoyed when he learns that Peter has stood him up at their meeting. Peter's lawyer explains that Eurotrash had to suddenly jet off to Chicago to check out a hotel he's interested in purchasing. Blake grumbles to the lawyer about all the money that's being wasted at La Mirage on frivolities, so the lawyer explains that Peter likes to add luxurious surprises for his rich guests. Blake doesn't look at all impressed by that and tells the lawyer he needs to talk to Peter personally.

Kirby is in bed, reading, when Jeff drops by for a visit. He says he had no idea she was so ill, and that he would never have agreed to a divorce if he'd known. He offers to call it off so he isn't walking out on her while she's bedridden, but Kirby snaps, "It's a little late for white knights" and tells him she's made other plans. She announces that once their divorce is final, she's going to marry Adam. Ew! Gross! Blech! Jeff furrows his caterpillar brows and goes, "WHAT?!! Are you crazy?!" and Kirby's like, "Well, d'yuh."

​Over in the study, Blake bellows, "You raped that girl?!" and Adam "explains" that he and Kirby were two very lonely people who had too much champagne. Blake growls, "Don't give me any damned excuses!" and says that rape is an act of violence and abuse. He says if this were another time, he'd horsewhip him and brand him an animal...kind of like what should have happened to him after he raped Krystle in Season 1, the boorish hypocrite. When Blake learns that Kirby's baby is a result of the assault, he realizes that this icky secret must have been the thing that Jeff declined to tell him. Adam then tells his father that, completely insane as it may be, Kirby has agreed to marry him. As Blake moodily stares into the fireplace, Adam offers to take Kirby and their spawn and move to Billings - but Blake snaps, "No! You're not going anywhere!" and orders him to stay at Carrington manor and learn what it is to behave like a man, a Carrington. LOL. Adam agrees to stay, tells Blake he loves him, and promises to change his rapey ways. He imploring adds, "Please belieeeeeve me" then flees the room, leaving Blake staring concernedly into space.

Alexis tells Steven she's irked that he's moving into Carrington manor, so Steven explains that he's putting the safety of his child above all else. Alexis says they could still move into a duplex in her building, but Steven points out that he and Claudia would still have to take the baby to a public park, whereas Carrington manor has extensive grounds on which Danny can safely play. When he tells her his mind is made up, Alexis poutishly retorts, "Well, as long as it's your decision - not your wife's" then accuses him of indulging Claudia's fears and paranoia. She asks Steven if he's ever even seen this strange man from the park, then reminds him that Claudia has a history of mental squirreliness and did time at the funny farm on two separate occasions. Steven admits he's never seen the creepy park man, but insists that Claudia has a firm grip on reality. Alexis drops the issue and assures him she'll always be around to help him with his problems.

Blake, Krystle, Fallon, and Peter are at the track in Los Angeles, watching Allegre race. It's a nail-biter (not really), and the four loudly cheer when Allegre wins, then get a group photo taken with the jockey. Fallon gushes to Krystle about how exciting this is, and Krystle asks her if things between her and Peter are serious. Fallon says they are, and that she'd totes marry him in a heartbeat if he asked. Yikes. I guess she wasn't as turned off by the coke as I'd be.

Adam whines to Blake about how slowly Kirby's/Jeff's divorce is going, and Blake wryly says he should know first-hand how glacial the pace of these things can be, him being a lawyer and all. When Krystle enters the dining room, Gerard brings in a telephone and tells her she has a mystery caller...and when she looks alarmed, Blake mans up and says he'll answer. The caller tells him to check on Allegre, then abruptly hangs up...and in the next scene, everyone rushes over to the stables to see whassup. They're shocked to discover that Allegre has disappeared. The distressed trainer says that someone must have come into the night and stole - nay, kidnapped - the horse. Eeeek! The camera pans from face to face - Krystle, Blake, Fallon, Peter, Tony - and they all look suitably concerned. Krystle, of course, looks pensively concerned.  

A mystery man buys violets in a flower shop, then leaves the store without collecting his change.

Steven and Claudia are packing up the rest of their things from the apartment...then get amorous and start canoodling on the bed. Nope, still no heterosexual chemistry there. They're interrupted by the doorbell, and find a small box on the doorstep with Claudia's name on it. She brings it inside, opens it, and finds violets. She remarks that it's been a very long time since anyone sent her violets...and when she reads the message on the card - Remember? Lancelot - she's like, "OMG!" She explains to Steven that Matthew always used to send her violets [though never during Season 1], and that Lancelot was the nickname she gave him when they were first married. Steven stupidly replies, "But Matthew is dead" and deduces that someone must have sent her the violets as a practical joke. Claudia looks rattled and wails, "Who would do this to meeee?!" and Steven's like, "I dunno" and gives her a comforting hug.

Recap: Krystle is enjoying a swim in a private pool (courtesy of the Rio honeymoon hotel) while Blake stands nearby and creepily watches. A few minutes later, she climbs out of the pool - revealing her freakishly leggy, lean physique - and Blake hands her a thick bathrobe and then gives her a from-behind canoodle. A small army of servants and musicians file in to deliver food and live music...and they're followed by the manager of the hotel. He tells them he just spoke to Peter De Vilbis (the owner of the hotel, apparently) and that he ordered him to personally ensure that their honeymoon is as romantic and special as humanly possible...and Blake and Krystle coo, "Oooh! That's so niiice of him!" The manager tells the newlyweds to enjoy the local delicacies and traditional Brazilian music, then saunters off. Blake gazes at Krystle and asks her if she's hungry - 'cause if she's not, he's hungry for something that ain't food, which...gross. He then grins at her goofily, and the two smooch intensely for what seems like a really looooong time.

Jeff is packing up his stuff from his/Kirby's bedroom when Kirby enters and snaps, "Not wasting any time, are we?" and Jeff's like, "Well d'yuh, you're the one who desperately wants a divorce." She asks him to call Andy so he can get the divorce ball rolling, and he's like, "Can do" ... and after he exits the bedroom, Kirby bursts into tears.

Mark is transporting Alexis' suitcases from her bedroom to the penthouse's living room when Dex emerges from the private elevator. It's funny how the concierge seems to allow this non-resident to saunter in and out of Alexis' private living space without permission. Mark tells him his boss is out - but that as soon as she returns, they have plans to jet off to Rio. Dex orders Mark to bring her suitcases back upstairs, but Mark shoots him the stink-eye and says he's Mrs. Colby's lackey, not his. Dex snaps, "Fine" then grabs the bags and says he'll do it himself, and Mark punches him in the face...and soon the two men are brawling in the living room. A few seconds later, Alexis arrives home and demands to know what the hell is going on here, and Mark snaps, "I was just showing him the way out." Dex says he dropped by to stop her from making a fool of herself, then implores her to stop wasting time on bitter memories [of a man who clearly can't stand the sight of her] and let go of the past already fer fuck's sake. He says, yeah, Blake was a fool to let her go...but nevertheless he did, and it's totes OK 'cause she now has him (Dex) to add a little man spice to her life. Alexis says he may be right 'bout that, then tucks her arm in his and steers him over to the other end of the living room. As an emasculated Mark looks on helplessly, Alexis urges Dex to call the airline and cancel her reservation...and he obediently does and quickly learns that it had already been cancelled. Alexis smugly tells him she decided all on her own to cancel the trip, but that she's still into the idea of destroying Blake; however, it'll be in his board room, not his hotel room. Dex seems pleased with that pronouncement...thought I have no idea why, since she's clearly unwilling or unable to let go of her bitterness/anger/hurt/whatever she so deeply feels for her wrinkly old goat of an ex-husband. She sternly reminds Dex that she, and not he, makes her own decisions and runs her own life. 

Tracy is rifling through confidential files in Denver-Carrington's appropriately named Confidential Files Room. Andy happens to walk in and is all, "Wha-a?" when he sees what's happening, and Tracy tries to act all nonchalant as she breezily chirps, "I'll be out of your way in a minute." Andy tightly says he didn't realize that the PR department kept its files in this room, and Tracy says they don't, then spouts some nonsense about how Krystle is always saying that PR deals with private matters and so one must always be prepared. She smugly says, "That's why Krystle gave me the keys" then flounces out, leaving Andy staring after her suspiciously.

Tracy asks Marsha (Blake's secretary) if Blake called and left any messages for her, and Marsha just stares back at her blankly, 'cause why in the hell would the CEO of a large oil company be calling a PR flunky while he's on his honeymoon? Marsha reminds her that she has a 2:00pm appointment with a reporter from The Chronicle, and Tracy declares that she'll be conducting the interview in Mrs. Carrington's office. Marsha looks appalled and says she didn't realize she'd be using her superior's office, and Tracy bitchily snarks, "I'm telling you now" and flounces off. I'm not sure it's a wise strategy for a corporate wannabe to piss off the CEO's secretary, but whatevs.

Back in Rio, Krystle is decked out in a fancy red dress, while Blake is in an all white suit. He pours them a drink and toasts to a lifetime of happiness...and after they each take a sip, they stare at each other intensely. He asks her what she was thinking about earlier, remarking, "I know that pensive Krystle look" - bwahahaha! - and Krystle explains that she's physically unable to contort her face into an expression other than one of pensiveness 'cause she's been thinking a lot lately about how much she wants to give him a child. Blake frowns and says he has no desire to repeat the I'm-soooo-depressed-about-my-miscarriage storyline from Season 2 'cause she was such a major bummer to be around. He reminds her that they have Baby Blake to cuddle and enjoy and will soon have Kirby's spawn  to dote on. Krystle pensively contemplates this, and the two start slow dancing.

Jeff and Kirby are having an awkward dinner in the mansion's dining room. When Jeff remarks that she's not eating very much, she snaps, "I'm not hungry!" He asks her whassup with the bitchitude, so she tells him he didn't call Andy as he had promised - but Jeff informs her he did, actually, and that Andy isn't available to meet with them until tomorrow. Kirby says she's irked that they have to keep pretending to be a normal couple, then throws down her fork and storms upstairs. Adam spots her fleeing to her room and, a few seconds later, barges in as she's standing by the window heaving. Kirby wearily tells him to get lost, but he insists she needs him...and she bitchily retorts that she doesn't need anyone, least of all her date rapist baby daddy. Adam stubbornly declares, "You need my love", reminds her that he proposed to her yesterday, then for some reason starts talking about himself in the third person: "Adam loves you as he's never loved anyone before." LOL. Kirby retorts, "Kirby doesn't want your love!" and says she's fine with having only her baby to love her...but Adam warns her that her baby will grow up hating her for depriving it of its birthright, not that that's going to happen anyway 'cause he refuses to allow her to take his rape spawn - a Carrington by blood - away from him.

Two weeks later..

Claudia is chatting with Danny's nanny in the park when a strange man comes over, acts overly familiar, and refers to Danny by name. The concerned nanny tells Claudia that he comes over to them everyday, but Claudia just shrugs unconcernedly and says he's probably just a friendly type of guy, then says she needs to dash off to work now.

Alexis barks a to-do list at Steven for his upcoming business trip, then poutishly invokes his birthday plans with Claudia, Blake, and Krystle. Steven's like, "Uh, d'yuh" then suggests she have dinner with him and Claudia shortly after his birthday, and she seems happy enough with that idea. He asks her whassup with the Lex-Dex company, specifically the tar sands project, then grumbles about how he's received no real information about it from Dex. Alexis breezily says she'll handle Dex, and that he should run along to the airport now. A few seconds later, Dex drops by unannounced and Alexis chides him for his presumptuousness in not calling ahead. Dex says he doesn't have time to play games, then in the next breath tells her he was playing games when he fibbed to her about being in Australia on business for the last two weeks. He says no matter where his tortured mind took him, it always came down to one woman: her. Alexis feigns indifference and says, "Sorry, not interested" - but Dex insists she wants him as much as he wants her. He then whips out a large velvet box and says he managed to put a little something together that so perfectly reflects her beauty...and inside the box is a dazzling diamond and emerald necklace. Alexis gasps and says, "It's breathtaking" and Dex tells her all about how he picked out each stone, polished them lovingly, then carefully cobbled them together to create this glittery tribute to her stunning awesomeness. He sure likes to spout some serious, waist-deep feces-wading bullcack, that Dex. He puts the necklace around her neck, and Alexis sashays over to the mirror and admires her new jewels. Dex looms behind her and declares, "Magnificent!" while an impressed Alexis smirks happily at her reflection...and then the two start smooching intensely. 

Fallon is in a meeting with Peter's Brazilian architect, Ernesto, discussing the proposed expansion of the La Mirage. She calls his work brilliant, sips coffee, and toasts Peter for bringing them together. Adam enters her office just as Ernesto is on his way out...and after he glances at the blueprints, he warns Fallon that this building project will likely be a lot more expensive than she's being told, and that, generally speaking, Peter is a con man who's full of hot air and empty promises. Fallon snappishly tells him to let her worry about Peter, then tells him to get lost 'cause she's got lots of work to do.

Andy has drawn up divorce papers and is going over them with Kirby. He urges her to think it over carefully before signing - but she ignores that advice and impatiently grabs the pen, pauses for a moment to tough out a sudden near fainting spell, and defiantly signs the papers. After Andy leaves, she rubs her temples and stares worriedly into space.

Andy heads over to Denver-Carrington to deliver the divorce papers to Jeff...and Jeff tells him how displeased he is about failing at marriage #2. Andy asks him if the split has anything to do with his lingering feelings for Fallon, and Jeff assures him it has nothing to do with that, and that Fallon has her own thing going with her weird new Eurotrash boyfriend. Andy reminds him that if she marries Mr. Eurotrash, he'll become Baby Blake's step-daddy, and Jeff stares mutely into space as he contemplates that disturbing notion.

Ernesto drops in on Peter's head manservant/lackey and snarks about how Peter owes him $2 million. The lackey reminds him that Peter did just pay him $1 million, which he earned on the sale of his horse to Blake Carrington. Ernesto says he needs all of his money back and complains  about how Peter squanders so much of his dough on nose candy. The lackey assures him that Peter always [eventually] pays his debts, then smiles all sinister-like and says he's about to strike oil. 

Blake and Krystle return to Denver and are greeted on the private airstrip by Fallon and Peter. The newlyweds gush to Peter about how magnificent his Rio hotel was and thank him for all the hospitality they enjoyed. Fallon informs them that Peter is about to give her another flying lesson, and doesn't seem nearly as concerned as Blake clearly is that he's not a licensed instructor. Once inside the tiny plane, Peter stares creepily at Fallon and gives her an intense smooch before taking off.
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Claudia is hard at work at La Mirage when the nanny calls her in a panic to report that the overly familiar man followed them home from the park and is now standing outside the apartment building. Claudia orders her to double lock the door and sit tight until she gets there.

Claudia peers out the window and tells the nanny she doesn't see anyone - but the nanny insists that the weirdo was standing right across the street, staring up at them. Claudia mulls that over and decides it's probably not weird enough behavior to call the police over - but when the nanny goes into the nursery to check on Danny, Claudia tries to call Steven wherever he travelled to on business, but is told he can't be reached.

Andy tattles to Blake about how Tracy was rifling through the confidential files in the Confidential Files Room - but Blake doesn't look at all concerned and tells him that Krystle entrusted her with the keys. Andy reminds him that these files are super secret and that an underling shouldn't have access to that kind of information, but Blake argues that this underling is a very capable woman. A few seconds later the phone rings - and it's Claudia, who suddenly decided that she should panic over the stalker weirdo. Blake furrows his brows concernedly and is all, "Wha-at's the matter?!"

In the next scene, Claudia is getting Danny and the nanny settled into Carrington manor. Blake assures her she's doing the right thing and that they all belong at the mansion anyway 'cause it's their home. Claudia says she's skeptical that Steven will agree to live here permanently, but Blake points out that it makes the most sense for the sake of his baby's safety. After Claudia heads back to the La Mirage, Krystle comes downstairs and tells Blake that Danny and his nanny have settled in nicely. Blake says he has a meeting to get to, but urges her to take the day off so she can spend time cooing at and cuddling little Danny, and Krystle smiles serenely and says she definitely likes the sound of that.

Alexis is furious when she hears about Danny's new living arrangements and bitchily demands an explanation. Claudia says the decision wasn't an attack on her; she did it purely for the baby's safety. Alexis wails that the mansion is a prison and that she won't be able to ever visit the tot, and Claudia promises she'll bring her grandson to her penthouse any time she wants to see him [provided she immediately stop screaming at her for making her own life decisions]. Alexis snarls that Steven, not she, is the biological parent in this equation and as such he should have been the one to make this decision. Claudia angrily replies that Steven considers her to be Danny's mother in every way that matters, and that she doesn't need her permission to determine what is safest for him. Alexis scoffs at the idea that Danny is safe with Blake and shakes her head dramatically from side to side - LOL - and calls him a destroyer. Claudia accuses her of being willing to jeopardize Danny's safety 'cause of her hatred for Blake, says she feels sorry for her, then tells her to go pee up a rope 'cause she's got work to do. 

Jeannette (the maid) tells Krystle she's very worried about Kirby 'cause the circulation in her swollen ring finger is slowly being cut off. She says that Kirby is in a lot of pain, but no one on the housekeeping staff has a clue what to do. Krystle does some quick thinking and tells her to call Tony at the stable and ask him to bring a metal cutter.

Tony saws off the ring while Kirby whimpers in pain and Krystle comforts her. When he finally cuts the wedding band off, Kirby breathes a deep sigh of relief. Krystle tells her she'll take the damaged ring to the jewellers' and get it all fixed up before Jeff comes home - but before Kirby tells her that that won't be necessary, she stares down at her sausage fingers (via footage from another person's man hands) and remarks on how swollen they are. She cries, "Look at them! Ooooh noooo!" and Krystle quickly offers to call the doctor. 

​I'm a recapper not an obstetrician, but isn't finger swelling kind of a normal thing during pregnancy?

Recap: Alexis is eating a light breakfast and reading Blake's/Krystle's wedding announcement in the newspaper. The ceremony is to be a small, intimate affair, after which the couple will honeymoon in Rio. Alexis irritably tosses the paper aside, then sashays over to the phone to call Dex. When his secretary informs her he's not in, she leaves him a message to call her back asap.

Krystle is going over some last minute PR things with Tracy, who urges her to chillax and focus on her big day. She asks Krystle if she wouldn't mind leaving her the corporate credit card, then tells her that her predecessor (Bill) gave it to her whenever he went on vacation - in case she needed to pick up the tab if something unexpected came up. Krystle looks convinced and says, "Sure!" then fishes it out of her wallet. Tracy pushes her luck one step further and says it would be great if she also gave her the keys to the confidential files. Krystle looks at her in surprise and points out that they rarely ever use them - but Tracy cites an example of when Bill was out of the office, and it was a major headache to get the confidential files she suddenly needed. Krystle mulls that over, decides why not?, and hands over the keys...and Tracy promises to guard them with her life, then leaves the office, smugly smiling to herself 'cause clearly she's a revenge seeking gal who's up to no good. A few seconds later, Blake drops by PR to remind his fiancee that she needs to start focusing on tomorrow's wedding, and she tells him she's just tying up some loose ends.

Jeff tells Kirby she doesn't need to immediately file for divorce, but Kirby insists on ending this mockery of a marriage as soon as humanly possible. She says that as soon as Blake and Krystle leave for their honeymoon she's going to see a lawyer, and Jeff's like, "OK, whatevs" and heads downstairs to the gym. Kirby suddenly has a pain in her stomach and starts panting...but a few seconds later, it appears to subside.

Alexis is enjoying a visit with Baby Blake in her penthouse when Fallon arrives to pick him up. Alexis says she heard she's dating Peter De Vilbis, then warns her that he's nothing but a vapid, Eurotrashy playboy. Fallon argues that, on the contrary, he's a man with money and style - bwahaha! - and Alexis chuckles at the mention of the creepy man's style and says she knows first-hand what a burned out, overindulged shell of a used-up partygoer he is and warns that he'll cause her nothing but heartbreak. Fallon snarks that she isn't interested in her "jet set gossip" and says she finds Peter to be a hardworking, sensitive soul. Alexis quips, "And not too shabby in bed?" and Fallon snaps that it's none of her business, then warns her to not slip into his bed after a pretend doink the way she did with Mark last season...'cause gross. Mark overhears the last bit of that interaction, waits until Fallon has exited the penthouse, and tells Alexis it looks like she's made another enemy. Alexis breezily says it's normal for mothers and daughters to argue...and Mark laughs at the way she truly seems to believe her own BS. He warns her that the day will come when she has no one except him to count on...which is a bad thing 'cause he's only in this arrangement for the money.

Jeff is dressed in unsightly '80s short shorts, working his leg muscles, when Adam slithers into the gym to complain again about how he and Kirby refuse to speak to him about the Rape Spawn Situation. He says he has no intention of standing on the sidelines while he (Jeff) raises his child...and Jeff points out that since he'll probably be living under the same roof as the kid, he'll be able to get a glimpse of it from time to time. Adam insists that it's his right for the ickily-conceived baby to know that he's its father, and Jeff reminds him that the pregnancy only came about because he raped Kirby. He snarls, "Did you think those screams for help were cries of passion?!" and Adam's like, "Well...d'yuh" and says he refuses to let the matter go. Jeff snaps, "You'd better!" and storms out of the gym.

Alexis drops by Blake's office to offer a contrived proposal: turn her art studio into an adorable playhouse for Baby Blake so that he has a place to run free...'cause apparently the forty room mansion he lives in and acres of surrounding property isn't quite vast enough. She tells Blake she can have her workmen begin renovations first thing tomorrow, but Blake firmly says no, and that he knows full well that this is all a ruse to disrupt his wedding tomorrow. His secretary buzzes him to needlessly confirm his honeymoon reservation in Rio, and names the hotel so that Alexis can make a mental note of it and later use the information to her advantage. Alexis gets a dreamy look on her face and reminisces about their honeymoon all those years ago, but Blake growls that if he'd had any idea how cunty she would eventually turn out to be, he'd have ended the marriage a lot sooner. Alexis reminds him that they share three children - something Krystle will never be able to give him...and he goes, "Maybe so" but says she fills a void in his life that she (Alexis) will never understand. He then bellows at her to get the hell out of his office.

Peter runs into Claudia at the La Mirage and tells her that his architect is arriving next week and that he wants to ensure that a fancy suite is booked for him. Claudia leads him into Fallon's office to look into it...and he brazenly checks out her ass as she bends across Fallon's desk to retrieve the file. He then gets all in her personal space and tells her how happy Fallon is with her work. When he starts to get touchy-feely, Claudia snaps, "Please don't!", tells him she has work to do, and cringes. Peter asks her why she's getting so upset and says in a creepishly hushed voice that he was only paying her a compliment. She argues, "It's more like a pass" and threatens to tell Fallon about his icky behavior - but then he counter-threatens to deny it and asks her who she thinks Fallon will believe. Fallon suddenly enters the office and smilingly greets Peter with a kiss, while a revolted Claudia quietly slinks out of the room.

Blake and Krystle are aboard his private jet...though it's unclear why they'd be flying anywhere the day before their wedding. Blake gabbles about how their wedding is going to be a reaffirmation of all the wonderful years they spent together as douchebag and trophy wife. After a blechy smooch, he hands her a jewelry box, and she opens it and is delighted to find an expensive looking necklace. 

The caterers, flower deliverymen, etc. arrive at Carrington manor to set up for the big day. Fallon ambles into the kitchen as the staff prepares the delicious spread. She eyes the massive, four tier cake, probably thinks back to when she ate the edible bride and groom at Blake's/Krystle's first wedding, then grins and says, "One for the good guys!"

Alexis is anxiously trying to get a hold of Dex when Steven enters the penthouse. He asks her why she summoned him here today and reminds her that he's attending Blake's/Krystle's wedding in a few hours. Alexis announces that she's giving him one thousand shares of ColbyCo stock for his birthday, then cheekily says, "Feel free to tell Blake." She tells him she wants to plan a small dinner party to celebrate his birthday - but Steven informs her that Claudia has already arranged a birthday dinner that will coincide with Blake's and Krystle's post-honeymoon homecoming from Rio. Alexis looks miffed and reluctantly agrees to consider delaying her party...but as soon as Steven leaves, Alexis gets on the phone with Claudia and tells her she's on her way to La Mirage so they can have a chat.

Alexis invokes the "conflict" around Steven's birthday celebration, and an irate Claudia says she should have just asked Steven if he had plans before "dreaming all of this up". Alexis says she can't help her "sudden inspirations", then asks her if she wouldn't mind changing the date of her birthday/homecoming party. Claudia says she would, actually, and that Blake and Krystle have already accepted her invitation. Alexis rolls her eyes and tells her she made a horrendous mistake nudging Steven toward making amends with Blake - but Claudia disagrees with that, and says she doesn't push Steven to do anything he doesn't want to do. She calls Blake "a fabulous guy" (LOL - say what?!) and insists that Steven is a happier person now that they've kissed and made up...and that it's her problem if she can't accept that Blake is now a part of Steven's life. Alexis pretends to applaud her bluntness, then says she intends to solve the Birthday Party Scheduling Conflict one way or another.

Alexis calls her secretary to let him know that she won't be back for awhile 'cause she has a problem that needs solving.

Guests begin arriving at Carrington manor for the wedding. Andy keeps Blake company while he gets dressed and jokingly asks him if he signed a prenup in order to protect Krystle's wealth and assets. Har har. Blake chuckles and asks him what his investigation into Peter De Vilbis turned up, and Andy says he checks out. He has a solid family background, good business sense, and appears to be a high roller. Blake nods approvingly and says he definitely likes the sound of that last thing. 

Fallon gives Krystle a lucky penny, aka something borrowed for her wedding ensemble. She says she hopes that she and Blake end up happily ever after, and Krystle hugs her and promises she'll do her damnedest to stay married to the old goat this time...then smilingly hints that she may have to loan the penny back to her if she and Peter decide to tie the knot. [Um, they've known each other for five minutes...but OK.] Fallon grins and coyly says, "Maybe. Maybe not" then tells her to keep the penny polished just in case.

Blake stammers at Steven about all the acrimony that has existed between them in past seasons...and glosses over how all that dysfunction was largely his fault. He insists that he's always wanted to be the best father he could ever have, and Steven says, "I know" and that he never stopped needing him...and the two hug. That was schmaltzy and nauseating, but it's better than having to watch these two have screaming matches in the study.

Kirby interrupts mingling with wedding guests so that she can flee to the study and pant as she endures another bout of stomach pain. Adam follows her, wanting - once again - to discuss his rape spawn. He tells Kirby he wants his child to know him as a father, 'cause he knows first-hand the pain of growing up fatherless [even though growing up fatherless is probably a whole lot more pleasant than being parented by Blake]. He then says, "You can't let our child go through life with the name Colby" and Kirby informs him that her baby won't be a Carrington or a Colby; it'll be an Anders. A bemused Adam asks her if Jeff is OK with that, and she breaks the news that she intends to divorce Jeff in the immediate future. Adam perks up and proposes that the minute her divorce is final, she can marry him! Kirby cringes in horror and goes, "Noooo! Ew!" but Adam insists, "We have to, Kirby" and says it's important to him and the baby. Kirby barks at him to get it through his thick skull that she does not love him, then waddles out of the study.

Wedding time! Krystle makes her grand entrance on the landing of the stairs, decked out in a satiny blue dress and matching hat - a very appropriate outfit, I thought, for an older bride who's marrying the same rich old goat a second time. The Carringtons happily look on as Krystle slowly glides down the stairs. When she reaches the main floor, Blake smiles at her goofily, and the two stand in front of each other and hold hands while the camera slowly fades out for a commercial break. Weird.

Blake and Krystle enter the ballroom and walk up the aisle together toward the minister. Peter is sitting in the seat behind Claudia, gazing at the back of her head and smirking. What a weirdo.

Dex saunters into Alexis' office, smugly smirking about the nine urgent phone messages she left for him. She rushes over to him, fondles his face, and breathily tells him how happy she is to see him. After a few minutes of intense smooching, he says that all this sexy attention is making his head swell. Alexis leads him over to the couch, and he mounts her as the two start going at it.

​Blake and Krystle exchange vows and are pronounced husband and wife for a second time. As they seal their blechy re-union with a kiss, the guests applaud...then crowd around the couple to offer their congratulations.

After their impromptu nooner, Dex asks Alexis what's on her mind, and she forces a look of excitement on her face and proposes they go into business together mining Brazilian minerals...and to that end, she has booked them on the next flight to Rio! He asks her what the hurry is - and Alexis says she wants to start dealing in the business of minerals, like pronto. Dex says he heard that Blake and Krystle are planning to honeymoon in Rio, then asks her if she's really got nothing better to do with her time than screw up their lives. Alexis looks faux insulted at the accusation and poutishly asks him how he could possibly think that there's any connection between her ex-husband's honeymoon destination and her sudden desire to fly to Brazil to mine minerals. She says she's the head of a powerful corporation and merely wants to make it rich and powerful. Dex wryly says, "Nice performance", says it's painfully obvious that she still has a thing for Blake, and makes it clear that he has no intention of sharing her with anyone. Alexis says she loathes her ex-husband, and that only she will decide on her romantic exclusivity. She then announces she has an appointment, and sexily sashays out of the room.

At the wedding reception, everyone is dancing...including Blake, who is singing to Krystle. OMG please stop. When he takes a break to smooch her, everyone ahhhhs and claps.

Peter smooches Fallon's neck and says he's eager to leave - but Fallon says it's proper form to stay until the bride and groom make their departure. Across the room, Claudia glares at him as he nuzzles Fallon's neck while staring back at her creepishly. A few minutes later, the gigantic wedding cake is wheeled out, and Krystle cuts the first piece and, mercifully, doesn't do that awful annoying thing where brides mash cake into their new husbands' faces. Why did that ever become a thing?

Kirby goes upstairs to lay down, and it looks like she's having stomach pain again. Jeff enters the room and asks her if she's OK, and she snappishly tells him she has a headache and to leave her the hell alone.

Krystle and Blake change into their travel clothes...and Krystle tosses her bouquet from the landing of the stairs. Fallon (of course) catches it, and Peter hugs her as Jeff glares in their direction.

Alexis returns to her penthouse and orders Mark to pack up 'cause they have a plane to catch. He's all, "Wha-a? But I have plans!" and she tells him to cancel his unauthorized plans, then haughtily reminds him that she told him when he was hired that he'd have to be available to her twenty-four hours a day. He gives in and asks where they're going, and she giddily announces, "Rio!" and gives him the name of the hotel they'll be staying at - but refrains from telling him that it's the very same hotel where Blake and Krystle will be honeymooning. Uh oh! Drama alert!

Recap: A contrite looking Dex drops by Alexis' hotel room to renegotiate the terms of their tar sands deal so that it'll be a 50-50 partnership. Alexis chuckles approvingly and asks him whassup with his change of heart, and he says that while he doesn't mind regularly screwing men over, he has a hard time taking advantage of women he wants to hit the sheets with. He saucily adds, "Call me a romantic" and gives her a big smooch...and when he gets a clear signal that she's into it, he picks her up, carries her over to the bed, and mounts her.

Fallon is in bed with Peter while he's on the phone, attempting to sell his race horse, Allegre. When the person he's talking to declines to make the purchase, Peter tells Fallon he plans to put the word out in order to find a new buyer. Fallon asks him to hold off on that, 'cause she might know someone who's interested...and by someone, Peter correctly guesses that she's talking about her sainted father. She suggests they fly out to Denver asap so she can introduce him to the old goat, and then the two start smooching.

Blake and Krystle wake up in bed together. Naked. Blech. Krystle half-heartedly suggests that she should probably be getting back to the La Mirage, but Blake asks her to stay 'cause he wants her by his side when he announces their engagement to the family at breakfast. He then coos about how good it feels to hold her again - ick - and that the mansion has been very empty without her.

Adam joins Jeff and Kirby in the breakfast room, which...awkward. A few seconds later, Blake and Krystle sweep into the room, looking flushed and happy. Blake dismisses the servants and announces that Krystle has once again agreed to be his trophy wife - legally, this time - then asks them to keep mum about it so that he can make a grand announcement at the upcoming Carousel Ball. Jeff, Kirby, and Adam react to the news by mutely staring into space...and Blake looks bemused by their collective glumness. A few seconds later, Jeff, Kirby, and Adam muster up enough enthusiasm to congratulate the happy couple, then all three abruptly leave the room.

Kirby and Jeff head over to the study and quietly agree that it would be best to keep the news of their impending divorce under wraps until after Blake's/Krystle's wedding...and, to that end, Jeff says he'll move back into their bedroom to keep up appearances. After Jeff exits the study, Adam slinks in and tells Kirby they need to talk. He whines about how neither she nor Jeff will talk to him, then asks what's happening with his spawn. She glares at him and snaps, "I'm carrying it" and adds that it's no concern of his. Adam argues that she can't very well go through life pretending that the child is Jeff's [of course she can; women in soaps do it all the time]...and suddenly Jeff re-enters the study, angrily shoves Adam away from Kirby, and escorts her upstairs.

Kirby tells Krystle that both Adam and Jeff know the icky truth about her baby's paternity. Krystle offers to break the disturbing news to Blake - but Kirby asks her not to 'cause she doesn't want anything to spoil their special day. Krystle stares back at her, her face scrunched with pensive concern.

Adam invites Tracy to be his date for the Carousel Ball...and she excitedly accepts and gushes about how it's the "party of parties". She then remarks on his bummed mood and asks what happened to the charmer of two episodes ago. He cryptically says his charm has disappeared into the ether now that his world has suddenly turned on its ass.

Alexis and Dex are on his private plane, en route back to Denver. As Alexis reads over the tar sands lease agreements, she notices that Dex has titled their partnership the Lex-Dex Corporation. That's a nice, catchy name. Alexis is impressed that he gave her top billing...then tells him that last night's doink was great and all, but that they should probably forget about it now that they're headed back to Denver, aka reality. Dex urges her to not pretend as though she doesn't want him as much as he wants her, then tries to plant a big smooch on her - but she stops him and says she's been around the block too many times to think of their coupling as anything more than a casual hook-up. Dex disagrees, then lays it on like manure about how beautiful, bright, and exciting she is. Alexis rethinks her rebuff and allows him to kiss her, then giggles and says he sure doesn't take rejection easily...and Dex huskily retorts, "I don't take it, period", calls her spectacular, and smooches her again. Oy.

Steven greets Alexis when her plane lands...and she introduces him to Dex as her "new partner". Dex gives Alexis a goodbye kiss, refers to her as darling, and sexily strides off...and a slightly icked out Steven tells his mother he hopes that this new partnership/courtship works out for her.

At Denver-Carrington, Fallon introduces Peter to Blake, and the three talk about Peter's quest to sell half interest in Allegre. Blake seems intrigued by the opportunity to own half of a race horse, so Peter tells him he'll arrange for the horse to be flown to Denver so he can look it over.

Krystle is in her office, preparing for a press conference, when Fallon bursts in, hugs her, and congratulates her on her engagement. Krystle thanks her for her support and tells her that she too looks like she's been getting regularly laid...and Fallon coyly says she'll be bringing her sexy new beau to the La Mirage for dinner, and that both she and Blake are invited.   

Jeff bumps into Peter near the elevators, and then Fallon suddenly appears and introduces the two men. Peter scrunches his face in confusion about why Fallon and Jeff have the same last name...and Fallon avoids giving an explanation by telling Peter that they urgently need to leave so they can get him checked in at the La Mirage.

One week later, Peter has brought Allegre to Denver and is showing the horse to Blake. Fallon and Krystle arrive at the stables, and Blake proudly tells Krystle - surprise! - his wedding gift to her is that she now owns half of Allegre. Krystle pretends to be thrilled with the odd gift and gushes about how gorgeous the horse is...and the two hug happily.   

Carousel Ball! A large swath of paparazzi snap photos as the Denver elite arrive...the elite being Dynasty cast members, as well as famous public figures like Gerald and Betty Ford and Henry Kissinger. Alexis, who's decked out in a shimmery, crusty looking gown with layered poofy things for sleeves, gives Claudia a dismayed once-over and remarks on the color of her boring sack of a dress (which probably is a little too plain for a fancy schmancy Dynasty ball), then bitchily asks, "It's off the rack, isn't it?" When Claudia smilingly confirms that it is, Alexis sighs disapprovingly and says she really wishes she had consulted with her designer, 'cause she's already seen several people at the ball wearing something scarily similar. Steven deludedly insists that Claudia is the most beautiful of all the dress-alikes, then shuts Alexis up by asking her to dance.

While on the dance floor, Steven orders his mother to stop trying to make Claudia over in her '80s tacky, over-poofed image...and Alexis reluctantly agrees to give her constant criticism of her frumpy daughter-in-law a rest.

Krystle accepts a dance from her physician so she can inform him that now that she and goat daddy are remarrying, she would like to revisit the issue of having a child. The doctor looks surprised and says he thought it was a closed subject [due to her abnormal uterus, as was documented in Season 2's Miscarriage episode], but Krystle says she doesn't want it to be. I sense an implausible pregnancy in the near future.

Alexis circulates around the ballroom and - ack! - runs into disgraced ex-congressman Neil McVane. She accuses him of trying to kill her when she was in the hospital after the cabin fire - and he denies having anything to do with that, but likes the sound of that idea and murmurs, "Maybe next time." Haha.. Alexis summons Mark, who's sitting at the nearby bar, so that she can gloat to McVane about how she now has a bodyguard...and says he'd better watch his step. After she flounces off, McVane snidely reminds Mark that he too was suspected of setting the cabin ablaze, and says if he hasn't yet considered murdering Alexis, he should definitely give it some thought.

Blake grumbles at Dex about his newly formed partnership with Alexis and says he should be more concerned about his obligations to Denver-Carrington. Dex reminds him that he earned half his fortune with joint ventures and that this was a business decision, not a personal one - but Blake barks, "No deal is a good deal with Alexis!" then threatens to kick him off his board if he ever goes behind his back again.

Fallon and Krystle run into Alexis in the powder room. When Alexis notices the ginormous diamond rock on Krystle's finger, Fallon smugly confirms that - yep - it's an engagement ring from Blake. Alexis asks when the wedding is, and Krystle says they haven't set a date yet...then snidely adds that the guest list will be limited to family, and by family she means not Blake's ex-wife. Alexis rolls her eyes in irritation as she spritzes herself with perfume.
​
Blake takes the mic and makes the big announcement about his and Krystle's upcoming nuptials, and gabbles about how happy he is to share the news with a ballroomful of his closest friends. The guests smile and politely clap - except for Alexis, who shoots them a prolonged stink-eye.   

Steven tells Claudia that if marrying his old goat of a father makes Krystle happy, then by golly he's happy for her. Claudia urges him to make amends with his father - but Alexis, who overheard the comment, makes a blech face and snappishly tells her to not bother herself with Steven's and that man's dysfunctional relationship. Steven prevents further argument by asking Claudia to dance, leaving Alexis glaring after them in annoyance.

As Tracy dances with Adam, she wonders aloud if Krystle will continue working at Denver-Carrington...or settle into being a trophy wife and leave the running of Denver-Carrington's PR department to someone who's actually qualified for the job. Adam chuckles and calls her ambitious.

Steven and Claudia congratulate Krystle and Blake on their upcoming wedding...and then Steven and Blake stare at each other awkwardly. Eventually Steven sticks out his hand and says he's very happy for him, and Blake shakes it and welcomes him back into the fold. Krystle and Claudia beam happily as father and son hug.

Alexis tells Adam that now that Blake and Steven have made up (for the umpteenth time), there may no longer be a place for him in Blake's life. She asks him what he thinks Blake would do if he found out about his past drugging, and Adam is all, "Wha-a?", then realizes the real reason she cancelled the ColbyCo/Denver-Carrington merger: she didn't want Blake to stumble across the truth. Alexis hugs her mentally defective son and assures him that he can always come crawling back to her if ever he feels alone.

Peter bumps into one of the servers and then berates him for being a careless idiot. Jeff witnesses the incident and tells him to chillax 'cause it was just an accident, and Peter snaps at him to mind his own business. Fallon suddenly rushes over to Peter and asks him if he'd like to ditch the party and watch the sunrise, and he says he definitely likes the sound of that - but suggests they go flying and watch it in mid-air.

Adam tells Steven he's happy he's back in the family, and apologizes for being an unsupportive douchewad while he was going through his custody lawsuit problems with Blake. He solemnly says he now understands how strong a father's love for his child can be...and Kirby, who's sitting nearby, overhears the remark and starts twitching with revulsion.

Peter is irritated that it's taking the valet so long to retrieve his car, so he bitchily declares that he's going to get it himself and stomps off. Jeff appears and asks Fallon how well she knows this piece of Euro-trash she calls a beau, and Fallon coquettishly admits she doesn't know much (er...anything) about him - but that she intends to get to know him very well. As Jeff tries not to hurl at that visual, Peter pulls up in his luxury car, and Fallon climbs in and the two squeal off.

Blake is staring at Krystle with creepish intensity as the two sway together on the dance floor. Jeff and Kirby come by to congratulate them again and say goodnight...and Blake shakes his head with dismay at the obvious unhappiness in their marriage.

Jeff arrives at the airstrip, where Peter's fancy car is parked, and stares up at the small plane that Peter is piloting (with Fallon in the passenger seat) as it does scary looking aerial tricks in the sky. Fallon woots excitedly and exclaims, "Do it again!" ...and after a few more minutes of fancy flying, Peter lands the plane. As the two exit the tiny aircraft, Jeff storms over, grabs Peter, and barks, "You could have killed her!" Fallon tells him to back off, and Peter bitchily reminds him that Fallon is no longer his wife. Jeff reminds him that she's still the mother of his child, and that anyone who puts her in danger is going to have to answer to him.

The end (for now).

Recap: Jeff chases after Kirby as she races down the grand staircase. When he catches up with her at the front door, she snarkishly tells him she doesn't want him anywhere near her, then flees the mansion.

Blake and Krystle are aboard his private jet, en route back to Denver. She's giving him an impassioned pitch about how she wants Denver-Carrington's Marketing Department to launch a PR campaign to inform the public about all he's done for the oil industry. Blake shoots her a goofy, approving smile...but urges her to hold off on the PR, 'cause right now he's got much more cuddly desires on his mind.

Alexis is making travel arrangements for an upcoming business trip when Dex strides into her office. She asks him whassup with him showing up uninvited and unannounced, then reminds him that so far she's said no to everything he's proposed. He starts nattering about her incredible eyes, rockin' body, then gets weirdly descriptive about a ranch he owns in New Mexico. He leans toward her, hopeful for another smooch, but she pulls away and barks at him to get out. Her newest male secretary, Terry (whose name she thinks is Perry) saunters in and hands her a file, and she bitchily informs him that if he wishes to remain employed at ColbyCo, he'll start knocking before he enters her office...and Terry just shrugs and is like, "Yeah, OK, whatever" and saunters back to his post. LOL. Alexis redirects her attention onto Dex and makes it clear that she has zero interest in tar sands, dinner, or anything else he's trying to peddle, then flounces off to a meeting. Dex, meanwhile, stays behind to fix himself a drink and snoop through the file that Terry just delivered, and is intrigued when he sees that it's a tar sands report marked confidential. He looks it over before heading out, then needlessly informs Terry that he'll be waiting for Mrs. Colby at the right time and in the right place...and Terry just shrugs and is like, "Yeah, OK, whatever."   

Kirby returns to the mansion to start packing up her stuff. Jeff storms into their bedroom and bitchily asks her if she forgot something...and when she tries to make a break for it, he barks, "Where do you think you're going. To Adam?!" [This is where I was going to insert a wry joke about how completely ridic it is to suggest that a rape victim would actually seek comfort in the arms of her attacker...but quickly realized I'd have to retract it, since Kirby - OMFG - accepts Adam's proposal of marriage in a future episode.] Jeff slams the bedroom door shut and snarls at Kirby for constantly throwing Fallon in his face - well, d'yuh, you two did sleep together in Montana - when all the time there was Adam. He asks her if Adam really raped her, then wonders aloud about the "sick little game" she played in marrying him. Kirby says she married him because she loved him...and also 'cause he proposed. Seems reasonable. She insists that Adam raped her, and despite the dickish things that are currently spilling out of mouth, surely he doesn't believe that she invited the attack. Jeff's like, "I kind of do, actually" and invokes the episode where she willingly attended an out-of-town conference with Adam and ended up alone in a motel room with him. Kirby explains that Adam tricked her into spending the night at that motel and insists she was terrified, but Jeff just scoffs and says she could easily have locked the door to keep him out. Kirby admits to flirting with Adam in the beginning 'cause she secretly liked the grab-handsy-ness and "being treated like a woman", but denies that she freely gave herself to him. She tells him she had no one to turn to after the rape...then sadly adds, "I still don't", and Jeff stonily declares, "I'm going to see Adam."

Mark carries Alexis' luggage downstairs and guesses by the cute, fur trimmed coat and matching hat she's wearing that they're traveling somewhere cold. She snootily informs him that he won't be coming along, and that he should just enjoy a paid holiday while she's gone. 

Jeff arrives at the Carrington Plaza, still under construction, to confront Adam. He takes the elevator to the top level where Adam is quietly loafing...then unties his tie, steps off the elevator, and blurts out, "You raped her! And damn near destroyed her!" Adam nonchalantly retorts, "Did I?" and says, on the contrary, Kirby is a strong girl with a mind of her own. Jeff accuses him of forcing himself onto her - the way he's been doing to all of them, and Adam sneers and claims she welcomed him with open arms. Jeff advances on him and punches him in the face, and Adam falls backward, then glares up at Jeff and says, "If that was a blow for honor, you're too late" then scrambles to his feet and smugly adds, "She didn't have any to begin with." Jeff lunges at him and punches at him, but Adam manages to shove him away and give him a good rib kick. He snarkishly tells Jeff that Kirby is too good a woman to be his second choice...which seemed weird on the heels of the Kirby-never-had-any-honor jab. But then, the Kirby-never-had-any-honor jab seemed weird on the heels of the comment about her being a strong girl with a mind of her own. The two idiots chase each other around the unfinished level of the high rise and come dangerously close to the unsecured edge of the building. Jeff knocks Adam to the ground and grabs him by the crotch (!) and slowly drags him toward the edge. He tells him that his assault on Kirby resulted in impregnating her with his demon spawn, and Adam's all, "Wha-a?!!", is suddenly contrite about the attack, and says he had no idea he was the baby daddy. Jeff finally releases him and growls, "That's right...crawl. 'Cause that's how you're going to get through the rest of your life." As he stalks off toward the elevator, Adam struggles into a sitting position, and looks bewildered as he stares into space. 

Fallon and Peter De Vilbis are hanging out in LA, watching his race horse get a workout. The two talk in cryptic terms about horse pedigree, share sexy banter, blah blah blah...then later hit the sheets and eat strawberries.

Claudia drops by ColbyCo to tell Steven she can't decide whether her gown for the upcoming Carousel Ball should be pink, blue, or red. She says she's nervous about looking good 'cause they'll be sitting at Alexis' table, and Steven pretends to give a rat's ass about what color outfit she should buy and says he's sure she'll look fab in whatever gown she chooses. Claudia says that Alexis made it clear she's displeased with her frumpy "style", and has openly told her she needs to start dressing in a much more chic, glamorous way...and Steven's like, "Well, d'yuh" and urges her to take advantage of Alexis' fashion expertise. Claudia mulls that over and concedes that since she's the wife beard of Denver's most attractive executive, she should probably start dressing as though she deserves to be a member of society's elite.

At the airstrip, Alexis runs into Blake and Krystle, who have just returned from Los Angeles. Alexis cattily tells Krystle she enjoyed her latest press release about Denver-Carrington's financials and chuckles about how it was the best piece of fiction she's read in awhile. Krystle smilingly says, "I had you in mind when I wrote it." Alexis describes her claims that Denver-Carrington's growth outstrips that of ColbyCo as a delightful fantasy - and then Blake chimes in and tells her it's a fact everyone in the industry well knows. This shuts Alexis up, and she huffily storms off to her plane.

A bored Mark is drinking scotch and sitting at Alexis' desk with his feet up, idly dribbling a ball with his tennis racquet. Dude: get a life, or a hobby. Steven stiffly enters the penthouse to pick up some papers and snarkishly asks Mark to move his feet so he can get to the desk. Mark obliges him, then starts drunkenly rambling about the sad turn his life has taken (right?), and jokes about how they both work for the same piranha. Steven glares at him and tells him that if he hates his job so much he should quit, then forbids him to ever talk about his mother like that in his presence. Mark apologizes, blames it on the scotch, and tells him to ignore everything he just said. Steven's like, "Whatever, '70s porn star" and angrily stalks toward the elevator.

Steven drops by Krystle's office to commiserate about Mark's hostile behavior toward Alexis. He says it's obvious that the ex-gigolo hates Alexis, then admits that he once suspected him of starting the cabin fire. Krystle reminds him that Mark was the one who rescued both her and Alexis from that fire...then diplomatically tells him that Alexis has a very complex [and super bitchy] personality, and enjoys inspiring passion - not caring whether it's love or hate-filled.

Alexis arrives in Calgary and heads straight for the offices of Northwest Tar Sands, Ltd. She announces to the person who's sitting backwards in the office chair that she's here to see Angus Stewart. When the chair whirls around, it's - surprise! - Dex, and a stunned Alexis is all, "Wha-at's happening?" Dex informs her that Angus Stewart retired an hour ago - and that as the new owner of Northwest Tar Sands, Ltd, she'll have to negotiate the lease deals with him. Alexis haughtily says she will not deal with him...and Dex leans in close and sexily retorts, "You're as hungry for this as I am." He proposes a 60/40 cut - in his favor - then strongly urges her to snap up this "sale price". Alexis, who suddenly looks intrigued by the deal, says she'll accept those terms, and agrees to sign the papers first thing in the morning. She then tells him the name of the hotel she's staying at, and flounces out. 

Jeff is drowning his sorrows at the La Mirage bar when Claudia ambles into the hotel carrying shopping bags. She asks him whassup, and he cryptically tells her he keeps running into brick walls he can't get around. Claudia offers to be a sounding board if he needs to talk out his problems - but he just gets a faraway look in his eye and babbles about how he'd love to be a child again, 'cause it was far less complicated. Claudia's like, "OK, weirdo. Just do whatever's best for you."

Jeff returns to the mansion looking for Kirby - but all of her clothes are gone, and there's a note on the night stand that has a flight number for Paris on it. Jeff rushes to the airport.

Adam is in his office, staring at his bloodied face in the mirror. Tracy pops by and is like, "OMG! What happened to your face!" and Adam jokes that he jumped off a skyscraper. She invites him out for a bite to eat and/or a drink, but he tells her he has something important on his mind, doesn't feel like being "Prince Charming" for her tonight, and would like to be alone. Tracy's like, "Er...OK, then" and tiptoes out, leaving Adam sitting alone and staring into space.

Jeff is dismayed when he learns that the Paris flight has departed...but when he looks around the gate, he sees Kirby dozing off in one of the seats. He pokes her awake and tells her they need to talk, and she tells him she decided not to run away after all...and that she's finally acknowledging she's been pretending to be something she's not and has lost herself in the process. Jeff reminds her that another life is involved now, and that as her husband he can't just let her run off...but Kirby wearily says she has zero desire to be married to someone who views their marriage as a duty. She fully accepts that they never really belonged together, 'cause it was always clear that his heart was with Fallon. She firmly announces she's through pretending and running, then picks up her bag and heads toward the exit. Jeff stops her and says, "The baby deserves a name" and Kirby says the baby will have her name (hee!), then walks out...and Jeff stares after her with his eyes glazed over.

Blake and Krystle return to the mansion after a night at the movies. She remarks on how quiet the mansion is...and Blake explains that he gave the servants the night off, then suggests they go into the kitchen and whip up something home-cooked to eat.

Jeff tells Kirby he'll move his things to a bedroom down the hall...and a few seconds later, they encounter Adam, brooding on the staircase. He tells Kirby they have to talk, and she disagrees and heads upstairs (haha!). Adam contorts his face into an anguished expression and yells, "I didn't know!" then tells Jeff they have unfinished business. Jeff disagrees and says it was a mistake to not have killed him when he had the chance. 

Blake and Krystle are in the kitchen eating omelets, and Blake is blathering about wanting to keep the romance between them alive, and says they always seem to know what the other is thinking, blah blah... He says he looooves that she now shares his everyday life, including his joys, frustrations, and challenges. Krystle's like, "Uh huh...well, I should probably get going now" - LOL - but Blake begs her not to make him say goodbye to her again and asks her to pleeeeease stay with him tonight. Ick.

Alexis drops by Dex's hotel room as he's chillaxing in a shirt that's unbuttoned almost to his navel (squee!!) and chilling a bottle of champagne. He seals the tar sands deal with a forcible smooch, and Alexis assures him she's no longer miffed about it 'cause grudges are for children. She thanks him for the flowers he sent to her hotel suite, along with the dinner invitation, then gazes at him hungrily and says, "What woman wouldn't succumb to such a gallant?" Dex pops the cork (mmm hmm..) and pours two glasses of champagne, and the two embrace and get all touchy-feely-kissy with each other. He breathily tells her that he deliberately ordered a cold supper in case they get hungry after their romp...and Alexis acts like she's all into it - then abruptly asks him to hold her glass of champagne, and proceeds to gather her coat and purse. She crisply pronounces, "No one takes me to the cleaners and to bed in the same day, Mr. Dexter" then bids him goodnight and sashays out of the room. Dex is all, "Wha-a?", then can't help himself from chuckling at her sass. 

Blake is lounging on a rug in front of a fireplace, surrounded by roses and candles. Eww. Krystle sweeps into the room wearing a blue negligee with matching silk robe, and Blake leers at her with a goofy smile on his face. He hands her a glass of champagne and toasts "to this night and to us", then produces a ring box, opens it to reveal a crazy ginormous diamond ring, and pops the question. Krystle smiles serenely and says yes...and then the two start going at it - a superfluous visual I could have done without.

Why, Krystle?? Whyyyyyyyyyyy!!