Recap: Blake is reading papers in his study when Joseph enters the room and hands him the wrapped gift he was ordered to pick up for Krystle. He asks how Mrs. Carrington is doing, and Blake scrunches his face with concern and tells his majordomo that she didn’t come downstairs for breakfast this morning, nor did she want anything to eat. Joseph clucks sympathetically and tells his master that these things take time, but Blake moans, “It’s been weeks! It’s been enough time!” Joseph says he totally gets his frustration, 'cause if someone close to him were ill, he’d resent the moping and whining and just want that person to get better already. These two really ooze compassion, don't they?
Krystle's moping in her room, staring despondently out the window. Jeannette (the maid) is trying to cheer her up by encouraging her to go lingerie shopping, but Krystle's too bummed about her fertility problems. Blake enters the room, and Jeannette gratefully scurries out to give them their privacy. He kisses Krystle’s forehead and tells her it’s a beautiful day, much like the day they met...and when Krystle just grunts in reply, he continues to reminisce. He reminds her that during her job interview, she told him that the most important thing to her was living life to the fullest. He then suggests they have lunch together, but she tears up and and wails, "Please stop!" so Blake gets all prickly and snarks, “You don’t want to be with me?” and she says, “It’s not you, it’s me.” He sighs deeply and tells her to explain to him exactly how she feels, so she stares into space despondently and says, “Useless. Empty.” He assures her that these feelings will pass, but she's not so sure 'bout that. He then shows her the wrapped gift that Joseph picked up earlier, opens it, and presents her with the magnificent pearl necklace inside...but she just shakes her head and says, “I don’t want it, Blake” then explains that she’ll always remember wearing it for having failed him. Blake mutters, “Oh Krystle..” and tells her that not being able to have a baby isn't the worst tragedy in the world. He shoves the necklace at her and orders her to wear it and be dressed and ready when the chauffeur picks her up for their lunch, but she cries, “No! I’m sick. Can’t you see that?” and he says he can, and looks deflated. He tells her he’ll have Nick Toscanni drop by to sort out her mood problems, but she tells him it won’t help, so he barks, “What will?” and she’s like, “I dunno.” He prickles up again and irritably declares, “I know what’s best for you” and says he plans on fixing her depression, even though he has way more important problems to deal with at Denver-Carrington.
During breakfast, Blake tells Jeff that as soon as he gets to the office, he’s to call their lawyers in D.C. and instruct them to track down Rashid Ahmed. Apparently, the mysterious Arab is somewhere in Europe. And speaking of Europe..
Alexis checks into a fancy hotel in Rome. The hotel manager, who has a comically fake sounding Italian accent, escorts her to her suite and makes it a point to show her the pretty bouquet of flowers they placed on one of the tables. She plucks one of the flowers and pins it to his lapel, then tells him she’s expecting a very important visitor later and would like a chilled bottle of Dom Perignon to be on standby. The hotel manager assures her it shall be done, kisses the back of her hand, and hands her the key to her suite.
Fallon is on the phone, making an appointment with her doctor. She’s aghast and dismayed that the only available appointment is at what she considers to be the crack of dawn: 9:30am. When Jeff suddenly enters the room, she abruptly hangs up the phone...and when he asks her who she was just talking to, she shrugs mutely. When he repeats the question, she goes, “Why?” and he says, “Husbandly curiosity” so she fibs and tells him she was just scheduling an appointment with her hairdresser. Jeff tells her he's more inclined to believe she was just talking her lover, so she pretends to fake confess that she does have a lover but is always careful not to call him until after he (Jeff) leaves for work. Jeff glares at her for a few minutes, then stalks out of the room. Why these two haven't divorced yet is a crazy mystery.
Jeff asks Steven if he’s seen Joseph around, and Steven replies, “Sorry, no” and abruptly rushes off, leaving Jeff staring after him and looking miffed. Steven goes into one of the mansion’s many sitting rooms to call up a new friend (Dottie) he met at The Blue Onion - LOL - and makes plans to hook up with her tomorrow night. Jeff eavesdrops from the doorway, and after Steven hangs up, he asks, “Why are you sore at me?” and asks if it's 'cause Blake hired him for an executive position at Denver-Carrington. Steven says, “You’re the son Blake ought to have had” and says that he and Blake “fit”...plus, he married the right kind of woman. That's pretty hilarious, considering that Fallon has to be the most ass-backwards wrong kind of woman any man could possibly marry. Steven asks him if everything is OK between him and Fallon, and Jeff is like, “Um...no" and says he strongly suspects her of doinking another guy. Steven looks shocked (seriously?) and says he heard they were trying for a baby. Jeff shrugs and says he doesn’t know who this alleged lover is - but he loves Fallon, and would fight for her if he only knew who he was fighting. Steven offers to talk to Fallon for him, but Jeff tells him that that’s his territory…but concedes that it’s getting tough to make an appointment with his slutty wife.
Blake has summoned Nick to his office and tells him that Krystle is so depressed she won’t even leave the house. He asks Nick if he’ll take her on as a patient...so Nick asks Blake if Krystle agreed to undergo therapy, and Blake is forced to admit that she outright said she doesn't want any - but quickly adds that she’s in no condition to know what’s best for her. Nick says that if Krystle doesn't want his help, he won't be able to give it to her, so then Blake points out that Claudia didn't exactly warm to the idea of therapy, but she's far less squirrelly after being counselled a few times. He then gets testy and barks, "I don't want to see her die inside!" and suddenly Nick has another grisly flashback of his hanged brother's dangling feet. For some reason, this prompts him to agree to counsel Krystle asap, and he bitchily snarks, “When you want to help somebody, there’s no stopping you, is there?” and this time Blake catches his hostile tone and shoots him a WTF? look.
Nick is in the study, pouring himself a drink when Krystle ambles into the room. He grumbles at her for missing her 2:00pm appointment at his office and wants to know why she pulled a no-show. She shrugs indifferently and tells him she went for a walk and forgot about it, but he doesn't buy it and accuses her of trying to avoid counselling. The two start bickering, blah blah...and Krystle comes right out and says she doesn't want him to treat her. He pretends to look indifferent and goes, "No problem" and says he has plenty of other patients who do keep their appointments. He then recalls that when he first met her, she was so beautiful and lovely…whereas now she’s just a lifeless shell. She stares pensively at him, and he tells her he’ll cancel the appointments the Blake’s secretary set up for her. When she continues to mutely stare, Nick tells her he’s a very busy man - but if she changes her mind about getting therapy from him, she can always call his office.
Cecil pays a visit to Jeff in his office at Denver-Carrington and praises him for having the guts to quit ColbyCo. That said, he wants Jeff to return to the company, and points out that as long as he works for Blake, he'll never get to be his own man - plus, he's not even family, just an in-law...and, as it seems these days, he's barely even that. He then asks Jeff how Fallon's doing and says he heard she wanted to start a family, but Jeff doesn't respond and declines his uncle's offer to return to ColbyCo. Cecil says he'll give up for the moment, but will try to woo him back another day. He then asks about Denver-Carrington's plans for oil-shale extraction, but Jeff snarks that he's not going to be his spy...and Cecil looks irked by the accusation and heads down to the lobby. By scripted coincidence, he bumps into Claudia and tells her he recognizes her from The Dinner Party episode, and says she looks hotter and way more confident than she did in Season 1. She tells him she's been feeling great ever since Blake gave her this job, which consists of correcting errors in his files. Sounds riveting. Cecil stares at her contemplatively and asks her to dinner tomorrow night to celebrate her new job...which just happens to be in the file room where his chief competitor houses all of his secret documents.
Alexis is in her hotel suite in Rome, looking sumptuous in a black, glittery halter dress. There’s a knock at the door, and she opens it and purrs, “Rashid..” and tells the Arab prince/businessman/whoever he is that he looks wonderful. He tells her that she too looks wonderful, then grabs and hugs her and gushes in a ridiculous faux Arabic accent, “You are beautiful” and compliments her for not showing any visible signs of jet lag following her flight across the Atlantic. She pours him a drink, and he smarmily toasts, “To the beautiful woman who is always busy enjoying herself” and the two toast the various cities in which they've doinked. She thanks him for meeting her in her suite, and he asks her what sort of rendezvous she had in mind, then looks hopeful and whispers, “Pleasure..?” She saucily replies, “With you Rashid, what else would it be?” and the two share an intense smooch. He jokes that for a business man, she kisses extremely well, and that she's the most intriguing business man he's ever known. He then furrows his brows and asks, "What is the deal this time?" and she squeals, "Deal?! What on earth are you talking about?" and a few seconds later she admits that, yeah OK, there's a deal (LOL) and reminds him that he owes her a favor. She tells him that the deal is five tankers of oil, and he quips, "Veddy romantic." He tells her they can talk about the tankers, but only after he orders in some musicians to perform for them. Alexis doesn't much like the sound of that, so she decrees, "No musicians...and no talk" and says eventually they'll get down to business. Tonight, however, will be all about fulfilling their carnal pleasures...and in case the mental visual of these two bumping uglies isn't disturbing enough, they lock their lips in another intense smooch.
Sammy Jo is looking over the engine of Steven's truck, and when Steven walks over, she assures him she's not "foolin'" with his vehicle, just looking. She offers to give it a tune-up and explains that she's very good with motors, and he shrugs indifferently and says, "OK" but that he has to head off to work now. She asks him if he wants to go out later, but he tells her he's busy with his new call girl friend, so maybe another time. After he leaves, Fallon appears and climbs into her ridiculous luxury car, which I finally learned is a Clenet. Sammy Jo stares at the vehicle enviously and tells Fallon, "It sure does pay to be a girl in this family." Fallon's like, "What about your family?" then asks her when her father is supposed to pick her up. (I've kinda been wondering the same thing myself.) Sammy Jo gives her a vague, "Soon"...which we can all assume means never.
Fallon's doctor tells her she's pregnant, and Fallon looks less than thrilled. The doctor assures her she's healthy and that she'll most likely have a healthy pregnancy. She can't help but notice Fallon's sour expression and asks her if she considers this good news, and Fallon just stares at her mutely. So no.
Claudia and Cecil are out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. He asks her why she's working for Blake of all people, so she tells him it's 'cause he offered her the job, and also 'cause he hired people to search for Matthew and their daughter - and she wants to be close when they're found. She puts her sad face on and says that they haven't had much luck finding them. Cecil tells her that ColbyCo is far bigger than Denver-Carrington and has more resources, and he'd be happy to put in a discreet word about the search. She tells him that that would be very nice, and he gives her a smarmy look and says, "As you get to know me, you'll discover I'm very nice."
Fallon and Jeff are lounging in a sitting room, enjoying pre-dinner drinks with Blake. Fallon remarks that without Krystle, their family gatherings feel like a wake. She also grumbles that Steven's MIA 'cause he's out on a date, and even Sammy Jo is conspicuously absent. She rolls her eyes and jokes, "She's probably roller skating in the attic." Haha! That totally sounds like something Sammy Jo would do. Krystle suddenly rushes into the room and apologizes for her lateness. She's dressed in a lovely black dress and is wearing the pearl necklace Blake gave her earlier. She asks if her niece is having dinner with them, and Fallon says it doesn't appear so, then tattles on Sammy Jo for saying It sure does pay to be a girl in this family to her earlier. Fallon then shrugs and says, "Who can blame her?" and recalls for everyone how Krystle got a Rolls-Royce for getting knocked up, and then a pearl necklace for having a miscarriage. Ouch. Jeff yells, "Knock it off!" while Krystle looks pained and distraught. She mutters that she left something upstairs and flees the room, and Blake angrily snaps, "Fallon!" then rushes after his wife. He manages to catch Krystle before she reaches the staircase, and she tells him she's just not ready for a family dinner in the presence of his cunty daughter. He suggests they go for a drive somewhere and eat dinner out, but she declines and says, "Not tonight." She gives him a quick kiss, then heads up to her room...and Blake stares after her, looking disappointed and irked. Back in the sitting room, Jeff admonishes Fallon by saying, "You did it again" and Fallon says she'll apologize for her dickishly thoughtless remark tomorrow, but right now, she's off to a "charity event"...and Jeff correctly takes that to mean she's off to pay her nightly visit to her secret lover.
Steven's out for dinner with a blonde bimbo who has a full head of feathery blonde helmet hair...and she giggles a lot and calls him Stevie. He tells her he works in a refinery, and she asks, "What kind of refinery?" and he wittily retorts, "A very fine refinery." He suggests they go someplace else, and she bats her eyes at him and rejoins, "Or my place?" and he says, "Yeah, definitely your place." As they head out, they run right into Blake. Steven introduces him to Dottie, then quickly beats a hasty retreat, and Blake just stares after the two of them, contemplating whether or not Steven being seen around town with a trashy call girl is an improvement over him being out of the closet and having a relationship with a halfway intelligent man.
Fallon and Nick are enjoying a post-coital canoodle in his bed. She tells him she's different with him than she is with any other man, 'cause for her, sex is usually about a conquest. She tells him she wants him to like and respect her the way she likes and respects him, and loves that she can't out-think or manipulate him. That's not saying a whole lot, since I doubt Fallon could out-think a hamster. She tells him he's the first "grown-up man" she's ever met, then declares her love for him (say what??) and that she wants to marry him (say what??). Nick caresses her face and tells her she's prolly just looking for a way out of an unhappy marriage - but she insists she's not trying to dump her problems on him. She then tells him she currently has a very bad problem...and by very bad problem, she means she's pregnant. He stares at her in horror and is all, "The fuck?!" so she quickly assures him that the baby's not his. She then says it's not really hers either and declares, "Because I disown it." She says she shouldn't have a baby if she doesn't want it - and besides, she'd be a lousy mother. No fucking shit. Nick asks her what Jeff has to say about all this, and she says he doesn't know, nor is she planning to tell him. Nick tries to explain to the soulless nitwit that she'd be disowning her father's own grandchild, as well as Jeff's flesh and blood, but Fallon just petulantly retorts, "It's my body." Nick needlessly tells her that he was once married to a beautiful woman who was told if she had a baby she could die...so naturally she got pregnant - and, shocker, she and the baby both died. Fallon assures him she's not using him as "an escape hatch" and that she'll solve her "problem"...and after she does, she'll come back 'round and ask him to marry her. She tells him he's the most important thing in her life, and the two start smooching.
The next morning, Steven's in the breakfast room, drinking tomato juice with a raw egg mixed in. It's intended to be a remedy for his brandy hangover from his night of hetero debauchery with Dottie. Blake comes downstairs and wryly asks him how his short term memory is doing, and Steven says he remembers running into him at the restaurant while he was on his way out with Dottie. Blake gives him a judgey look and informs him he's seen Dottie out numerous times with "boyfriends" who pay for her "services", and Steven gets all testy and reminds his dad that it used to make him sick when he put his hands on another man. He says, "Now I'm putting them on women. Aren't you satisfied?" Blake says it's obvious he's trying hard to live down what he once was - but sleeping with hookers fits under the category of "going overboard". Steven says he's just sowing some wild oats and having fun doing it and that it should be no concern of his. Blake gives up trying to talk sense into his gay/straight/whore-chasing son and turns his attention to the newspaper, and Steven scoffs, "I just can't win with you" and storms out of the room. Joseph, meanwhile, carries a telephone into the breakfast room and tells Blake that Alexis is on the line, calling from Rome.
Alexis tells Blake she was able to locate Rashid Ahmed, and that she'll fill him in on all the details when he arrives in Rome. It turns out Ahmed can arrange for the release of Denver-Carrington's oil tankers! Yay! Blake asks her how he plans on doing that, and she tells him he has the right connections...but that he'll want a 10% tanker freeing fee. The most important thing though, she cautions, is that he's to fly to Rome immediately. Blake whines that he doesn't want to leave Krystle alone, but Alexis reminds him how he's been sweating over this tedious oil tanker crisis storyline since the early episodes of Season 1. She informs him that Ahmed is leaving Rome tomorrow night, so that'll be the cut-off time. She then warns him not to tell Krystle or anyone else, 'cause if there's a leak, it'll kill the entire deal. Blake agrees to make the trip and promises to leave right away, and Alexis coos, "Wonderful! We'll be waiting. Ciao, Blake!" LOL. Rashid, who's been eavesdropping on the call, grins and gushes, "Alexis...Alexis. The way you handle men is most extraordinary." LOL. Alexis agrees that she is indeed awesome and chooses not to be an amateur at anything. Rashid wonders what Blake is going to say when he walks through the door and sees that they are not waiting (as she promised), and she says, "I want to be alone with Blake. I'll think of something." She then opens the door to give her Arab lover the bum's rush out of her suite, and the two indulge in a farewell smooch.
Jeff answers the phone while Fallon's in the shower. It's the abortion clinic, confirming her appointment, and he's all, "Wha-a?!!"
Blake is packing for Rome when Krystle ambles into the room. He tells her he has to go in person to see about his oil tankers getting released, then stares at her pleadingly and begs, "Get well, Krystle. Please get well." He tells her that Nick will keep an eye on her, so she sheepishly confesses that she didn't actually keep her appointment with him. He glares at her and barks, "So you want to keep on suffering?" She explains that she's in a natural period of mourning, but thinks she's getting better, and he snaps, "I'll be the judge of that." OMFG. He orders her to get therapy from Nick, and she remarks that this seems to be a full on command. Well d'yuh - has she met Blake? She finally throws in the towel and says, "If you want it that badly, you've got it!" and storms out. Weird.
Fallon emerges from the bathroom after her shower and finds Jeff glowering in the bedroom. She tells him she's been thinking about what a rotten, spoiled, misbehaving, immature, cunty brat she is, and that she's only making him miserable. She says that for some reason, he seems to bring the worst out in her. He bitterly retorts that that's prolly 'cause she wasn't in love with him when they got married. She doesn't disagree and says they should end their marriage before they become awful people (you're already an awful person, Fallon) and he says that it's odd timing, considering that they've been working on making a baby. She breezily tells him "it didn't take", so clearly it wasn't meant to be - and he asks her how she knows she's not pregnant right now. The jig is up when he tells her he knows that her abortion is scheduled for Tuesday, then orders her to cancel it. She refuses, so he points out that half of the unborn life is his. He snarkishly informs her that he'll grant her a divorce, but she can't destroy his baby.
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