Recap: One of the maids is rushing down the grand staircase so that she can reach the front door in time to let in Blake and Krystle, who have just returned from an evening out. Blake barks at the maid to get his crony pal, Peter, on the phone. Krystle remarks that it's pretty late to be calling anyone, but Blake blatantly ignores her like the rude douchewad he is and tells the maid he'll take the call in the library.
Blake rants and raves to Peter about how Matthew Blaisdel somehow got additional funding to keep his oil rig operation going. His fixation on this rig is getting weird and tiresome. As a CEO of a large corporation, doesn't he have more important things to focus on?? Krystle trails behind her ogre husband into the library, and looks worriedly pensive as she warms herself by the fire and eavesdrops on the call. Blake barks at Peter to tell him who gave Matthew all that money, and Peter's like, "I dunno", so Blake says he has his suspicions. He lists off a bunch of names, Cecil Colby's included, then orders Peter to find out who it was and slams the phone down. Krystle gently reminds her dickwad husband that the men he just accused of funding Matthew's rig are all friends of his, then says she doubts it was any of them. Heh. Blake gruffly says that in this business "your only friend is a dead enemy", and if the situation were reversed, he'd do the same thing to them. No doubt. He then fixes his beady little eyes on Krystle and snarks that she's trembling, so she tells him she's just cold and hates it when he gets himself all worked up. He lowers himself on one of the leather couches and tells her she's the only person he feel comfortable with, and she flashes him a smile and says that that's nice to hear. He then starts bellyaching about how the pressures on him are so heavy, blah blah...then looks contemplative and says that it looks like Fallon is starting to come around, and that she's acting less like a spoiled tart now that she's married (mmm, no...she still seems just as bad). Krystle pretends to agree and says she's noticed a change, then assures him that Steven too will come around. Steven doesn't need to "come around", he just needs his father to get over the fact that he's gay and stop acting like a hateful fucking monster all the damn time. Blake gets a faraway look in his eyes and tells Krystle that when Steven was born, his mother wanted to name him Blake, but Blake insisted they name him after her father instead. He asks Krystle if she thinks Steven might have sensed that, and it somehow turned him gay, and she manages to keep a straight face and tells him it's highly unlikely that Steven would have picked up on such a thing when he was an infant. Blake perks up and declares that they can name their yet unconceived child Blake, then needlessly specifies/orders/declares, "Our child. The one that you'll give me." Blech. The old man really makes my skin crawl whenever he references anything even remotely related to penetration.
Over breakfast, Claudia tells Matthew she's looking for a job, and he's all, "Wuh?" and tells her she doesn't need to 'cause their finances are OK. She tells him she wants to work, so Matthew scrunches his face worriedly and tells her he doesn't want people to question his masculinity or think he can't support his family. He then shakes off the disturbing notion and goes, "So it's settled...you'll stay in the home" (LOL) but Claudia argues that it's not settled, and assures him that his genitalia won't suddenly shrink if she enters the workforce. She reminds him that she never got a chance to go to college, and he looks sheepish and says that that's because he knocked her up when she was sixteen. Yikes. Were there no pills or condoms back then? She acknowledges that they were both to blame for that dumb mistake...plus, they were just a couple of horny kids. Lindsay, who's been eavesdropping from the hallway, rushes into the kitchen, announces she's late, then flees from the house.
Lindsay is in the Vital Statistic's office, looking up her parents' marriage record on microfiche. She gets distressed at what she discovers, then awkwardly scampers out of the building. Did she really never know the year her parents got married?
One of the riggers tells Matthew that "something funny" is going on with the rig. Matthew checks it out and finds the suspiciously loosened bolt. He stares at it contemplatively and says he thinks someone did this on purpose, and that he knows who that someone is.
Matthew heads over to the nearby Hillside bar, orders a beer, and watches as Eddie holds court with a small group of winos. Eventually Eddie notices that Matthew is in the bar watching him, so he explains that he's on a break...then asks him how he got the money to finance the oil rig. Matthew ignores his obvious fishing expedition and says he recently discovered that Steven had been set up. Eddie asks if he's accusing him, and Matthew's like, "Well d'yuh" so Eddie gets all riled up and threatens to beat Matthew up with a pool cue. He teases him about his sissy friend, so Matthew heatedly retorts, "I'd rather have a sissy friend than hang out with a snake and a coward." The name calling proves to be too much for Eddie, and he takes a swing at Matthew, and then the two start punching each other and rolling around on the ground in a really looong, fake looking fight sequence. When Matthew emerges victorious in the ass-kicking, he drags Eddie over to a container filled with ice water and dunks his head a few times. Eddie finally spills the beans and admits that he knows Blake was behind the sabotage attempt that was blamed on Steven. Matthew promptly fires him, then stalks out of the bar.
Matthew rushes over to Denver-Carrington and bursts into Blake's plush office. Blake looks startled, then amused, then asks Matthew who he was just scrapping with...but Matthew won't say. Blake offers him a drink, but Matthew declines and demands to know why he let Steven take the rap for something he didn't do - for something his own father set up. Blake kind of shrugs and mutters, "Oh that.." (!) then condescendingly tells Matthew he's being overly emotional in his rush to judgement and that he's way too temperamental to be in charge of a rig. Huh?? Matthew tells Blake he used to respect him, but doesn't anymore 'cause of all the brazenly dickish stuff he's been doing lately. Blake mutters something unintelligible about the American dream, and Matthew tells him he poisons everything he touches. Blake snaps, "Including my wife?" and refers to her as "the only thing" Matthew really wants. He challenges Matthew to look him in the eye and tell him he doesn't still think about Krystle every day and every night...and if he can manage to do that, he'll call off his dogs. I wonder if he means that literally, and his Dobermans are lurking around his office somewhere, ready to pounce on Matthew like they did to Walter during the wedding episode (which was so awesome.) Matthew doesn't respond and just stares mutely at Blake...and the camera zooms in, getting progressively closer as it pans from Matthew's deer in the headlights expression to Blake's evil smirk and then back again. Weird.
Over at the mansion, Fallon runs into one of the maids, who's on her way to deliver a telegram to Steven. Fallon tells her to hand it over so she can give it to her brother, and the maid obediently does. Fallon then rushes over to the nearest window and holds the envelop up to the light...but when Steven suddenly appears out of nowhere, she hands it to him after pretending she thought it might have been for her (apparently Jeff's in the Middle East on business). Fallon asks him who the telegram could be from, and Steven says he knows exactly who's it's from, then saunters off without elaborating further.
After the school bell rings, Lindsay dashes out of the building with her friend Tonya rushing after her. Tonya asks her about the school play she's supposed to be rehearsing for, but Lindsay says she's not interested anymore. Tonya asks her what her parents are going to say 'bout that, and Lindsay snaps at her to lay off about her parents, then bursts into tears. Tonya asks her what's wrong, so Lindsay starts blubbering about how her dad knocked up her mom when they were both teenagers and they got married soon after. (And this is a big deal because..?) Tonya tries to explain to her histrionic friend that she's hardly the first person who's been born under such circumstances, but the crybaby continues to sob and wail...and it's a pretty tough thing to watch because she's a really ugly crier.
Over at the Blaisdel house, Claudia's in the living room, sewing Lindsay's play costume. Matthew arrives home early in order to spend some quality time with his family, but Claudia tells him that Lindsay went to bed early 'cause she wasn't feeling well. Matthew goes upstairs to check on his pet daughter...and we see that she's in bed, still crying. Good grief, girl - shut off the waterworks already. Lindsay feigns sleep when she hears her dad enter her room. He kisses her forehead before tip-toeing out again, and Lindsay resumes her endless crying.
Blake is in the library, reading through a pile of papers and drinking heavily...and for some reason his wiry grey hair is all disheveled. Krystle enters the room carrying a tray of coffee, and he glances over at it and snaps, "I didn't ask for that!" Krystle says she knows, but thought he might like a dose of caffeine. He gruffly explains that he's busy trying to make sense out of "this mess", and she gently asks him if this can't wait until morning, to which he snaps, "No!" God he's a fucking troll. She then asks him if he's coming to bed (ew), and he waves her away and says he'll up in awhile. Krystle lets out a deep sigh and exits the library with her sad face on. A drunk Fallon arrives home, and she's wearing her fantastic white feather boa. Krystle politely asks her if she had a good time tonight, and Fallon says she did, then sarcastically apologizes if this disappoints her. Krystle pensively cocks her head and goes, "Wha-a?" so Fallon "explains" that since her husband's out of town, according to Krystle's "bourgeois ethical system" (the fuck she talking 'bout?), she should have been locked in her room with a Bronte novel. Well, that's ridiculous, since it's unlikely that anyone in that household believes Fallon can actually read. Fallon brags that her escort for the evening was Muffins Bagley of Bagley Bread (I'm confused...is she dating pastry? And what about her pledge to not cheat on Jeff?). After she flounces upstairs with her boa, Krystle steps outside the front door and leans against the pillar looking despondent, as well she should.
Steven's in his bedroom, about to turn the light off when Fallon bursts in for a night time chat. He tells her he spent the whole day thinking about what he should do with his life, and reveals that the telegram was from his ex-lover, Ted. Turns out he wants Steven to meet up with him in San Francisco. Fallon reminds Steven that when he was little, all the little girls loved him. Steven recalls that they were pretty, and Fallon assures him that some of them still are. She asks him if he's ever really tried to be with a girl...and when he doesn't respond, she asks him how he knows he's truly gay. [I think Steven should now butt into Fallon's life and ask her how she knows she's truly straight, despite never having gotten it on with a lesbian.] Fallon suggests that maybe Steven's gayness and her scandalous behavior stem from the fact that they didn't have a mother growing up...and she admits she's scared she'll never measure up to Blake Carrington (don't use him as your yardstick; he's a douche) or amount to anything (please...you're never going to amount to anything beyond a spoiled party girl). The siblings recall how they used to hold hands in the dark and wonder why their mother left. That reminds me, I can't wait for Alexis to arrive and shake things up on this boring show.
Steven arrives at the rig after being summoned by Matthew, and Matthew thanks him for coming and hands him his last pay check. He apologizes for blaming him for the loosened bolt incident...and when Steven looks confused, Matthew explains that he now knows it was Eddie. He offers Steven his job back, but Steven bitchily retorts that he doesn't want it. He reminds Matthew that he was a constant target of the other riggers' bullying, and after the loosened bolt incident, Matthew let him down when he just assumed "the faggot did it". Matthew looks sheepish as Steven storms off.
It looks like Claudia's gotten herself a job at a book store, and she's busily restocking shelves when Eddie drops by. She notices his black eye and asks him what happened, so he says he had a "disagreement" with Matthew and got fired from the rig. He then brings up her recent stint at the funny farm and the way Matthew "behaved" while she was there...and when she stares at him blankly, he exclaims, "You don't know?!" He abruptly drops the subject and asks her if the store has any books on orchids, and she orders him to just spit out what he was about to say. He tells her that while she was at the funny farm, Matthew was hitting the sheets with another woman. She asks, "What woman?" and he comes right out and tells her it was Krystle. Well d'yuh - doesn't everyone, Claudia included, already know this? Claudia stares off into space, then barks at Eddie to go away.
Fallon intercepts Ted at LAX before he can board his connecting flight to San Francisco. She offers to give him a lift to his final destination on the Carrington jet so they can have a chat, and he accepts. Once they're airborne, she offers him a glass of wine...and he correctly guesses she brought him here to tell him to get out of her brother's life. She admits she did and snarks that a homosexual relationship could cost Steven everything. He'd be throwing away his father's love and respect (who cares? Blake is a douche), along with the money and power he may not realize he wants. Ted suggests that maybe Steven doesn't want money and power, so Fallon tells him that Steven comes from a world where "cripples and homosexuals are taken behind a barn and slaughtered before they can breed." Yeesh. I know Blake doesn't like gay people, but what did crippled people ever do to him? Ted retorts that Blake is a crusher of human souls and businesses (right?!), and rhetorically asks her how much money Blake needs. Fallon advises Ted to give Steven the space to decide what kind of life he wants to live (um, isn't he trying to do that??), and suddenly Ted grins and tells Fallon she has a certain charm about her, then asks her if she's ever really loved someone...like, more than money or power, or more than her own life. Fallon stares back at him blankly and says she's way too shallow to have ever felt even a twinge of empathy or emotion for someone who isn't her. Ted assures her that that's OK, then invites her to join him for dinner once they arrive in San Francisco...and Fallon smiles back at him, looking unexpectedly charmed herself.
Matthew enters the master bedroom and finds Claudia in bed, reading. He tells her he's been thinking about going to therapy after all (say what?), but she coldly tells him she doesn't give a rat's ass about it anymore. He gives her a puzzled look and asks her if anything's wrong, so she tells him that Eddie came by the book store. Matthew asks her what he wanted, and she cryptically says he was looking for books about orchids. She then shoots him the stink eye and turns out the light. Yawn. These two are so dull even their fights are boring.
Blake finally staggers upstairs and into his bedroom. As he hangs up his suit jacket in the closet, Krystle's silk robe falls to the floor. He stares down at it and notices a roundish container in the pocket, so he scoops it up and discovers it's a packet of birth control pills. He stares at them for several looong seconds, looking contemplative. A little while later, he's sitting in bed, looking disheveled and grotesque as he boozes it up. Krystle breezes in from a night out with the girls, and it takes her a minute to notice that her ogre husband is glowering at her. She spots her silk robe draped over a chair, and he asks her if she's looking for these...referring to her birth control pills, which he starts flinging around the room while chanting, "She loves me, she loves me not." What a nutwrench. Krystle exclaims, "What the hell are you doing?!" and he drunkenly retorts that he thought they had an understanding: a shared desire for a child. Krystle tells him she needs to sort out some stuff first, and he barks back that he thought she knew everything about him before she married him. I highly doubt she knew he was this big of a dickwad. Blake starts railing about how he's surrounded by people who betray him...then gets up and staggers around the room, grumbling that he has a son who's in love with a man, a daughter who's in love with sex (and herself), and a wife who's taking birth control pills behind his back. Krystle looks pensively concerned and tells him he doesn't look so good and that she's going to call the doctor...but he ignores that and tries to lunge kiss her, and she pulls away in revulsion. He orders her to come closer, then snarls, "You're my wife! You do what I tell you when I tell you to do it!" OMFG. Krystle tries to make a run for it, but somehow the old creep chases her to the door, and then drags her across the room and throws her atop the bed. He then scrambles onto the bed and mounts her, pressing on her neck with his forearm as he rips her clothes off of her body. She's all, "Nooo!" as he forcibly kisses her...and I ran to the nearest toilet to dry heave 'cause there's nothing hot about marital rape, especially when the perpetrator is an icky, belligerent ogre like Blake.