Recap: The police arrive at Carrington Farms to investigate the abduction of Allegre. A police sergeant questions Krystle and Blake...and then Tony ambles over and says he didn't see or hear a thing. The sergeant looks skeptical and asks him if he tied one on last night, and Tony admits he had a little wine with his pizza before falling asleep. Kirby is tossing, turning, and moaning in her sleep. Jeff pokes his head inside her bedroom - but when he sees Adam hovering at her bedside, he wisely tiptoes back out. Kirby wakes up and whines about how annoying it is to just lay around, but Adam urges her to rest and get her blood pressure under control. He coos at her reassuringly and says that somehow they'll all get through this OK. Kirby wonders aloud why she should marry him, so he reminds her she's carrying his rape spawn...plus she no longer has a husband, father, or any friends to speak of. He caresses her face and says they're all each other has in the world, and she helplessly concedes that sad fact and drifts off to sleep. Allegre's trainer (Jack) laments to Fallon and Peter about how sorry he is that the horse vanished from his stall. Peter dickishly snaps, "You ah not paid to vatch television" - and Fallon tut tuts him for his uncalled-for bitchitude and says they really can't blame Jack for Allegre's disappearance. The sergeant then walks over and tells Peter and Blake that he needs to speak with them privately. In the study, the sergeant asks Blake and Peter to disclose whatever info they might have about their enemies...and when they both scrunch their faces in pretend confusion, the sergeant says there's no way that wealthy, powerful, dickish men such as themselves wouldn't have pissed off a lot of people on their way to the top. Blake argues that the horse's disappearance is most likely about getting a ransom, then barks at the sergeant to stop his witch hunt for enemies and focus on horse kidnappers. Instead of telling Blake where he can shove his unsolicited advice on how to conduct an official police investigation, the sergeant meekly nods...which, gaaa!
Alexis is dressed in a scarily poofy pink ball gown for a night out at the ballet, which seems overly dressy...but OK. After trying to track down Dex by phone, he arrives at her penthouse a few minutes later looking dirty and disheveled from scouting oil fields all day. He tells her he found some land in Wyoming that has five working oil wells - and that it's owned by some old coot who hasn't been paying his bills and is currently facing foreclosure. Alexis perks up and says they can go to the ballet any old time and insists they fly out to Wyoming asap and convince the old coot to sell them his property. An exhausted Dex suggests they wait until morning, then starts stripping off his clothes...and Alexis looks all into his naked form - including his freakishly hairy back - and the two rub up against each other and start going at it. Over at Carrington manor, Claudia is studying the note that came with the delivery of violets she received during the previous episode when Steven enters the room carrying a bottle of champagne and two glasses. He asks her why she hasn't thrown the violets away yet, and she spacily replies, "I didn't want to let go of them." Steven reminds her that they were sent by someone who clearly has a sick, perverted mind...and that since she's a Carrington, it's inevitable that people are going to take shots at her. He then takes the flowers and accompanying note and tosses them into the fireplace...and Claudia does her best to not start twitching, and assures him that she's still in her happy place. Adam tells Jeff they need to talk, then apologizes for raping Kirby and for his general dickwadishness this season. That said, he reminds Jeff that he never really loved Kirby, and that their marriage was a rebound 'cause he's never fully gotten over Fallon. He implores Jeff to be reasonable, then holds out his hand...and Jeff stares at it disdainfully for a few seconds before finally shaking it. Kirby wakes up and tries to pour herself a drink with a heavy glass pitcher (Tupperware would have been so much lighter) - but when her hands start shaking uncontrollably, she's all, "Ack!" and drops the pitcher onto the floor. Jeff hears the glass shattering and runs into her room to see whassup. Kirby wails that her hands won't stop convulsing, and Jeff urges her to chillax...and a few seconds later, Adam bursts into the room. He's aghast at the sight of Kirby's out-of-control hands and barks at Jeff to call the doctor. Kirby is admitted into the hospital...and after examining her, Dr. Winfield tells Jeff (and Adam who's also standing there) that Kirby has preeclampsia, which could possibly lead to organ failure or a stroke. He adds that Kirby is additionally screwed 'cause he's unable to perform a Caesarian until the spawn is more developed. Adam demands to know what he's going to do, and Dr. Winfield chides him for interrupting him while he tells the father whassup...and Adam puffs up his little chest and announces that he's the baby daddy. Dr. Winfield's all, "Wha-a?" and stares at Adam and Jeff in mute bewilderment. Fallon and Peter arrive at La Mirage and are besieged by reporters who pepper them with questions about Allegre's kidnapping. When they quickly bore of the poor horse's plight, they ask the lovebirds how they met and if someone introduced them, and Peter brusquely declares, "She vill zoon be Mrs. Peter De Vilbis". When Fallon widens her eyes and is all, "Wha-a?!" one of the reporters cheerily remarks that it looks like the impending marriage is news to the bride...and Peter goes, "Really? Judge vor yourzelves" then pulls Fallon toward him and gives her a grotesque smooch. The reporters chuckle delightedly and cackle about how much fun it's going to be to cover yet another lavish Carrington wedding. I can only assume that this must be one slow news day in Denver.
Kirby wakes up in her hospital bed and finds - ack! - Blake and Krystle hovering over her. She moans about how afraid she is of falling asleep in case something bad happens, but Krystle smilingly assures her that everything is going to be A-OK. Blake ambles out to the waiting room and finds Adam glumly staring into space. Blake urges him to go home and get some rest, but Adam insists on staying so he can be near his beloved, who he says he now regrets assaulting. Blake tells him he's making up for it now, and Adam wails, "Can I?" then remarks that whenever he loves someone, he ends up smothering them and frightening them away. Blake says that [hopefully] his psychotic behavior is all in the past, and Adam concurs and vows to give Kirby the kind of un-smothering, non-violent affection she deserves. Blake tells Krystle that the doctors have managed to stabilize Kirby...and now that that's settled, he's hoping for some good news about Allegre. He then frowns and expresses dismay about Peter's proposal to Fallon on live TV and says there's something about the guy he can't quite put his finger on ['cause, yeah, it's just so hard to see that weirdo for the Eurotrashy, brazen con artist he is]. He sighs, now regretting his irresponsibleness in raising Fallon to be an impulsive brat who grabs at what she wants without ever thinking it through. Fallon joins Jeff in the mansion's breakfast room. He glumly congratulates her on her impending nuptials, and Fallon gabbles about how much she looooves Peter's style. Jeff makes a seriously? face and asks her why the douche would propose to her so publicly, and Fallon doesn't have a retort for that and tells Jeff he's just going to have to get used to her and Peter being a couple. She credits her fiance with being a hardworking man who's earned everything he has - unlike him (Jeff) who just got handed everything from a rich uncle. Jeff flinches at the bitchy comparison and starts to storm off in disgust - and Fallon hastily apologizes and sheepishly says she didn't mean what she just said. He snaps, "Save it!" and says he knows she meant exactly what she said. Alexis and Dex are hanging in a Wyoming bar with Oscar Stone, the landowner they're trying to cut a deal with. Alexis, who's decked out in a fantastic brown leather jacket and pants, coos to Oscar about how attractive he is (not), then purrs at him to accept their offer. Oscar scrunches his face in deep contemplation and says he can't make up his mind all quick-like 'cause there's another party interested in buying his land. Alexis fake brightens and chirps, "I'm in the mood for dancing!" - LOL - and invites Oscar to hit the dance floor with her. Oscar bounds down the stairs and gets the resident fiddler and guitar player to start playing a high-energy folk song...and a dismayed Dex creepily watches them from a few feet away. After several minutes of fancy footwork, square dance style - ye haw! - the musicians dial it down with a slow song, and Alexis allows Oscar to press against her while they sway to the music. He drunkenly asks her if she'll take good care of his land if he sells it to her, and she replies, "Of course!" then whispers something in his ear that makes him cackle with delight. She then sashays over to Dex and covertly explains that closing this deal will require her to either sing for Oscar or sleep with him - and since there's no way in hell she's hitting the sheets with the dumb yokel, a performance it is. She then takes the stage, sits astride a chair that's facing backwards, and belts out Boys in the Backroom. Everyone in the bar cheers at her sassy performance.
Steven drops by the study to see whassup with Blake...and Blake tells him he's bummed about his kidnapped horse and could use a drink. As he pours two brandies, Steven gabbles about how comfortable he feels in the mansion now that he's no longer living the gay lifestyle that always grated on the homophobic douchewad and sparked so many tedious arguments between them - in this very study. He asks Blake if he has any problem with him living at Carrington manor and working for Alexis at ColbyCo, and Blake chuckles and says he deeply admires his fierce sense of independence, and urges him to never lose it. He assures him it's totes fine with him to continue his job at ColbyCo, and Steven thanks him for being so understanding and raises his glass in the air before taking a sip. In a cheap Wyoming motel room, Alexis and Dex celebrate the contracts they were finally able to persuade Oscar to sign. Dex compliments her shrewd dealmaking abilities and says he'd really like to get it on with her once he's had a shower. He strips off his clothes and strides into the bathroom naked, and Alexis grins with horny delight as she checks out his taut buttocks and freakishly hairy back, then also gets naked and joins him in the shower. Peter is loafing in Fallon's office at the La Mirage when Claudia enters and is all, "Ack!" when she sees him creepily standing there. Peter smirkingly asks her if she's going to congratulate him, and she snorts with disgust and says that Fallon is very important to her, and that she doesn't want to see her get hurt. She snarls about seeing him "in action", meaning he makes passes at any woman who's handy...then scowls at his obnoxious smirking and says it probably wouldn't be very funny to Fallon. Peter continues to smirk and says, "About making passes. You mean zomezing like zis?" and pulls her toward him for a forcible smooch - but Claudia pulls away, smacks him across the face, and storms out.
Mark runs into Fallon at the La Mirage bar and scoffs about how wonderful it is to see money marry money. Fallon says that her deep love for Eurotrash has nothing to do with money...and when he asks, "What does it have to do with then?" she flounces away without answering. At Denver-Carrington, Blake receives a note from Allegre's kidnapper, which is pieced together using cut out letters and numbers. Looks like it was a fun scrapbooking-type project. Krystle bursts into his office after being urgently summoned, and he hands her the note: $2,000,000 in diamonds or Allegre is shot. No cops. Blake grimaces and says he doesn't like those terms one bit - LOL - but Peter announces that he will pay the entire ransom himself. His lawyer concurs and says they'll call the cops once the horse has been returned (not). Blake doesn't like the sound of that plan, but easily caves in. Tracy is at the La Mirage, having lunch with her old boss, Bill Rockwell. Bill tells her that his new PR firm is doing very well and offers to hire her. He promises an excellent salary and loads of responsibilities, but Tracy declines and says she's headed for the top at Denver-Carrington. Bill looks skeptical and reminds her that Blake is never going to fire or demote Krystle - but Tracy says she doubts that Krystle will be an employee for much longer, then dishes to him that she had an appointment with Dr. Winfield, an obstetrician. She figures that Krystle wants to have a baby, which means she'll probably quit Denver-Carrington soon to be a full-time mother. Tracy says she's next in line for the top PR job, and Bill asks her if she has her eye on the boss as well - ew! gross! - then cheekily reminds her that she followed a similarly slutty path when she came to work for him. Meow, Bill. Kirby tells Krystle she's feeling much better, and Krystle smiles serenely and says they all love her and will see her through this preeclampsia crisis. Kirby thanks her for always being there for her, especially through the hard times...and Krystle tells her how obvious it is that Adam wants this baby. Kirby concurs - then suddenly shrieks that she has a horrible pain in her head . She cries, "It's bursting! I can't stand it!" and Krystle races into the hall to summon help...and then Adam and Blake burst in, aghast at the sight of Kirby clutching her head and crying in pain. She continues to wig out while the nurse takes her blood pressure...and that's where the episode abruptly ends. Weird. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
1 Comment
3/12/2021 09:22:09 pm
"Kirby wakes up and whines about how annoying it is to just lay around" Leave a Reply. |
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