Recap: Blake enters the nursery, where Steven is talking to Krystle as she feeds Danny. Blake gives Steven a curt nod, then gruffly snarks, "Good morning. Nice to see you again" and complains that he always seems to drop by for his visits when he (Blake) is not likely to be at the mansion. Steven reminds him that the world doesn't revolve around him, and that he visits his son whenever it's convenient for his work schedule. Blake bitterly mutters, "ColbyCo.." and asks him how things are going with Alexis, then throws in his face that he once refused to be an executive at Denver-Carrington. Steven shrugs wearily and says he just had a change of heart. Krystle interjects to inform Blake that Steven will be moving out of the La Mirage soon 'cause he found an apartment for himself and Danny, and hired a nursemaid to help take care of the tot. Blake growls, "Better than we can take care of him here?" and Steven suddenly tires of his father's bitchitude and stalks out of the room. Blake directs his snarliness toward Krystle and says, "Tell me I'm being too hard on Steven" and warns her not to get caught in the middle. Krystle insists she loves them both and that his dickwadishness is making the situation impossible, and Blake snaps, "Leave it alone!" but then instantly looks regretful and gives her a goodbye kiss. After he leaves the room, Krystle shakes her head and mutters, "It's not OK." No duh it's not OK. But you're the dumbass who married him so deal with it. Joseph tells Blake that Congressman McVane arrived a short while ago and insisted on seeing him. Blake heads over to the library, where McVane has been cooling his heels, and asks whassup. The congressman says he kept his end of their agreement by putting off a merger decision in Washington so that Blake would have time to build a defense - but in return he got a knife in his back! Apparently, he heard that someone's been investigating his personal life and learned that he's currently messing around with a governor's teenage daughter...which, blech, writers. He reminds Blake that during Fallon's Roaring '20s party, he had threatened to blackmail him when he refused to do his bidding, and Blake looks offended and says he'd never blackmail him by digging into his personal life - just his dealings in Congress. McVane refrains from calling him on his bullshit, since Blake did, in fact, threaten to expose his "sordid sex activities", as is documented in an excerpt of my recap of the La Mirage episode: Blake chastises the congressman for being so unreachable over the last few days, and McVane fibs and says he was busy visiting constituents. Blake grumbles that time is running out on his loan, then snaps, "What have you done about that?" McVane tells Blake he can't help him, and says that when he tried to talk to the D.C. bigwigs he kept getting doors slammed in his face. Blake questions the truthfulness of that and says, according to his inside sources, that everyone who was approached was willing to reconsider their position on shale oil production. Blake then tells him he's heard all about his sordid sex activities in D.C. (gross) and wonders if maybe he should get his investigators to look into that further. So there, continuity challenged Dynasty writers. Also, a sleaze like McVane belongs in a prison cell for statutory rape, not in Congress.
Steven arrives at the penthouse to deliver a report to Alexis - and he runs into Claire, the reporter from The Chronicle. She tells him that Alexis is upstairs but will be down soon, then gabbles about how much she'd loooove to write a story about his experience getting blown off of a rig, being presumed dead, then getting rescued and having facial reconstructive surgery to explain his character's recast, etc. Steven says he's not interested and politely declines, so Claire changes the subject and asks him whether or not he's visited Claudia at the funny farm yet. He says he hasn't had a chance, and Claire pulls out a tape recorder and starts peppering him with more questions - and Steven gets wigged out by her pushiness and makes a beeline for the elevator and flees. A few seconds later, Alexis breezes downstairs dressed in a flowy moo moo and asks Claire why her piece on Congressman McVane hasn't been published yet...then chuckles to herself about his pedophile-esque indiscretion with "the governor's nymphet daughter". Krystle drops by Denver-Carrington to tell Blake she'd like to host a reconciliation dinner for him and Steven. Blake looks irked and snaps, "My God, Krystle!" and reminds her of the disastrous dinner they had with Adam during the Siblings episode. (Hee! That was a fun dinner.) He adds that he has a lot of urgent matters to deal with at work, so Krystle huffily asks him which is more important: work or his son. She reminds him that when they all thought Steven was dead, he had lamented not having a second chance to make things right between them. She says, "You have your second chance. Will you take it, or throw it away?" and Blake mulls that over while contemplatively staring into space. Steven meets with Alexis in her ColbyCo office to submit his report. She gushes about what a "dazzling" job he's doing with the Far East oil leases, then asks him if he likes working at ColbyCo. He says he does, and appreciates that she respects his intelligence enough to give him important work to do - unlike the Mickey Mouse shit Blake would probably be assigning him. Alexis poutishly coos, "My very special son" and reminds him of the many times Blake tried to drive them apart, and says she won't allow the old goat to ever succeed in breaking their mother-son bond. Jeff meets with Blake at Denver-Carrington to update him on Alexis' latest shenanigans, and makes it clear that his loyalties lie with him. Blake gets on the horn with Alexis to tell her that he found even more discrepancies regarding her evaluation of Denver-Carrington assets and orders her to come to his office for a meeting this afternoon. Alexis says she'd much prefer it if he came to her office and reminds him that she's in charge now, so he argues that he's the one with the books, the ledgers, and the clout. She mockingly retorts, "Clout? What clout?" and he snaps, "You'll find out!" LOL. Kirby arrives at ColbyCo wearing an ugly patterned dress with poofy sleeves to meet Jeff for lunch. His secretary tells her he might be in Adam's office, so she knocks and then bursts in. Adam, who's sitting alone at his desk, exclaims, "Kirby! What a nice surprise" and she hastily tells him she's looking for Jeff. He frowns disapprovingly and says, "You know, Kirby. Just invoking that name does not push me out of your life" then reminds her of the night they danced and made love [he sexually assaulted her]. He gets all grab-handsy with her - and a few seconds later, Jeff enters the room, furrows his furry brows at the disturbing sight and is all, "Wha-at's going on?!"
During lunch at the La Mirage, Jeff is irked at Kirby for acting "sweet" to Adam, and reminds her that she can't say hello to the mental case without him finding a way to take advantage of it. Kirby gets annoyed and says if she's not allowed to talk to Adam, then he shouldn't be allowed to talk to Fallon...and grumbles about being dragged to Fallon's place of business for lunch. She says she wants them to go house hunting, which he promised they'd do when the latest "business crisis" was over. She asks him if it's over yet, and he coldly replies, "I'll let you know." Kirby starts to tear up and whimperingly remarks that they're having their first fight. She gets up to flee to the ladies room, then feels faint and sits back down. Jeff tells her she looks pale, then insists on making a doctor's appointment for her. Uh oh.. Krystle drops by ColbyCo to invite Steven to the reconciliation dinner, then prattles on and on about what a miracle it is he made it home alive, blah blah. She wants him and Blake to give each other a chance to get along again and says she won't stop fighting until the day comes when they're not constantly at each others' throats. Alexis enters the room, looks less than thrilled to see the two talking, and asks Krystle if they can speak alone. As soon as Steven exits the room, Alexis snarls, "How dare you come into my office uninvited and how dare you interfere in my son's life!!" Krystle accuses her of enjoying it when Steven and Blake are at odds, and Alexis argues that it's 'cause Blake is always poisoning Steven's mind against her. Krystle says it's beneath Blake's dignity to do that, then reminds her that she recently tried to convince Steven that Blake tried to buy his son from Sammy Jo, which was proven to be a lie. She vows to keep on interfering until Blake and Steven are a father and son who love and respect each other (aka when hell freezes over), and Alexis abruptly shrieks, "Get out!!", opens her office door, then shrieks "Get out!!" again. After Krystle sashays out, Alexis dramatically clutches her temples and acts as though her head is about to explode. Alexis arrives at Denver-Carrington for her meeting decked out in a fantastic bubble gum pink hat and matching blouse. She sits across from Blake and snidely asks, "Where is your so-called clout and what's your problem?" Blake says his problem is that ColbyCo continues to underestimate the value of Denver-Carrington, which is somehow driving down the value of the company's stock. He informs her that the shale oil extraction process is one of the company's most valuable assets and could revolutionize the oil industry, then concedes that it's the only thing her company has evaluated accurately. As for his clout, he tells her that, courtesy of some obscure professor [we've never heard anything about until this very second], he now owns all the rights to the shale oil extraction process - as of this morning...and he's refusing to lease it to the merged companies unless the evaluation of all Denver-Carrington assets meets with his approval. Alexis poutishly cries, "You're playing dirty!" and Blake growls, "The oil industry is my turf" and self-importantly warns, "This is a high stakes game." He tells her he'll send over documents with the correct evaluation figures inserted, then barks, "Meeting adjourned. Get out!" and Alexis haughtily storms out while Blake smugly smiles to himself.
Steven drops by the funny farm to visit Claudia. She tells him she's happy, healthy, and has been doing a lot of jogging - hence the ridiculous '80s headband she has wrapped around her forehead. She says that Krystle visits her often and was the one who told her about his disappearance and subsequent recast/return from the dead. Steven invokes that fateful day on the hotel roof, when she thought a doll baby was Lindsay...and Claudia gets vexed and accuses him of pitying her, then says the person he should be pitying is Fallon 'cause of everything she put her through. She brings up Danny, then accuses him of not wanting to mention him to her 'cause he's afraid it'll remind her of Lindsay and cause her to act all squirrelly again (well, d'yuh). She tells him that Krystle has already told her all about Danny and that she totally gets how hard she's working to get her brain cells functioning at full capacity again. Steven says he came here 'cause of what they once meant to each other and what he cost her, and she snaps, "I'm not an emotional cripple!" and informs him that she'll be leaving the funny farm soon and wants the world to know she has her pride and that she's totes A-OK again. She then decides she needs a shower 'cause she's smelly from jogging, and abruptly runs off. Yep, she's still as nutty as fuck.
Mark drops by the penthouse to discuss his and Alexis' icky gigolo/sugar mama hookup. He says, "We had a thing. It was pleasant, but now it's over." Alexis haughtily tells him she saw him and Fallon kissing in the La Mirage boutique, then orders him to stay out of her daughter's life 'cause of how vulnerable she is after her divorce from Jeff. She pulls out her checkbook and offers to give him money to leave town, but he shoots her a look of disgust and says he doesn't want her money. When he turns to leave, she asks him if he loves Fallon, and he replies, "That's right, lady" and Alexis snidely refers to him as a "second rate fortune hunter in tennis shoes". Mark ignores the insult and exits, leaving Alexis staring after him unhappily. She flounces over to her desk and uses the typewriter (that suddenly appeared out of nowhere) to type up a note: Must see you. Five o'clock, my room. Mark. She then pulls the note out of the typewriter and smiles devilishly to herself, probably not considering how weird Fallon would find that Mark left her a typewritten note when it's highly doubtful that he owns a typewriter. Shortly before 5pm, Alexis arrives at Mark's room at the La Mirage to launch Operation Ruin Mark's and Fallon's Budding Romance. Mark, who's shirtless 'cause naturally he just got out of the shower at this incredibly inopportune moment, and asks her what the hell she's doing here. Alexis looks fake contrite and apologizes for her behavior during the previous scene and explains, "A woman like me doesn't enjoy losing out to another woman - especially not her own daughter." Mark accepts the disturbing apology, then tells her to get the hell out. After he heads back to the bathroom, Alexis pulls out a bunch of clothes she had stuffed in her purse and tosses them on the floor so they look like they've been sexily strewn about. She then pulls out two glasses and a bottle of champagne, tousles her hair, and gets into Mark's unmade bed and pulls the covers over her so that if anyone were to burst into the room at that moment, they'd get the strong impression that she and Mark had just hit the sheets. Alexis definitely has some issues. She coos, "Mark!" and he comes out, still naked except for a towel cinched around his waist [put some damn clothes on, ya idiot], and exclaims, "What the hell are you doing?!" She saucily tells him she's just pouring some champagne and asks if he'd like some. Cue Fallon, who enters the room, stares at the two of them with icked-out incredulity and gasps, "Oh my God!" Mark wails, "Nothing happened!" as Fallon rushes out of the room to the nearest toilet to vomit. Mark barks at Alexis to get out, and she sarcastically snarls, "Nothing happened - just like the other boring afternoons I wasted with you." Mark gets dressed (finally) and runs out after Fallon, but she drives off before he can explain the contrived misunderstanding.
Back at the penthouse, Alexis criticizes Adam for not extending himself to Steven, and insists that he try harder to become friends with his younger brother. Adam says he's tried, then complains that it's impossible to be friends with Steven when she keeps involving him in her schemes - a totally valid point - and begs for a break from her drama. When she chortles and ridicules him for being "an innocent", he angrily grabs at her. She snaps, "You're out of control!" and says he's got his father's rotten temper...but that clearly there's something else wrong with him. Ya think? She tells him to do as he's told, then flounces upstairs as he glares after her. Mark is giving a tennis lesson when he spots Fallon ambling around the hotel grounds with a client. He abruptly cuts the tennis session short and runs over to Fallon, but she wearily says, "I saw what I saw" and that there's nothing more to talk about. She orders him to get back to the tennis courts, and he looks hurt and whimpers, "I thought I meant more to you than a tennis pro" but Fallon continues to look unmoved and stalks off. Steven and Adam are on a charter plane together, en route to an oil field in Wyoming. Apparently, Alexis sent them on the trip so they could engage in some brotherly bonding. Steven, who clearly isn't interested in bonding with a psycho-nut, derisively asks Adam if he's ever been on an oil rig or gotten oil sludge under his nails. (No and no.) He then orders Adam to keep his mouth shut when they meet with whoever they're meeting with at the oil field, and Adam whines about how hard he is to get along with. I'm no fan of Adam, but even on a good day Steven is a miserable sack of shit, so he kind of does have a point there. In the next scene, Adam and Steven arrive in Wyoming, and they're all, "Wha-a?!" when the plane leaves them stranded after it takes off to go pick up the person they're supposed to meet with. Apparently, this too was something Alexis arranged, in order to force her sons to spend quality time together. When Blake arrives home, Krystle, who's wearing a silky evening gown with large puff-balls on the hems of her sleeves, tells him that Steven called and informed her that he's marooned on a Wyoming air strip and won't be able to make the reconciliation dinner. Blake snarks about how "convenient" that is, so Krystle tells him that Alexis was the one who arranged this trip and reminds him about what a shitty, manipulative person she is. Blake tells her to stop wasting her time trying to be a referee and barks, "He's my son, and he is my problem!" Krystle retorts, "And that doesn't concern me?" and he snarks, "No. It doesn't." She asks him what she should concern herself with: what dress to wear? what's on the menu? (Since you're a trophy wife...probably.) She complains that she feels like an outsider, and reminds him about when he refused to take her along to Bali to look for Steven when he first went missing, or to Singapore after the character was finally recast. She gets fed up and tells him to solve his problems himself, and then she and her puff-balls angrily storm off. She leans against a nearby wall, looking like she's about to cry...and for some reason that's where the crew decided to call it a day and abort filming the episode. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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