Recap: Krystle is enjoying a swim in a private pool (courtesy of the Rio honeymoon hotel) while Blake stands nearby and creepily watches. A few minutes later, she climbs out of the pool - revealing her freakishly leggy, lean physique - and Blake hands her a thick bathrobe and then gives her a from-behind canoodle. A small army of servants and musicians file in to deliver food and live music...and they're followed by the manager of the hotel. He tells them he just spoke to Peter De Vilbis (the owner of the hotel, apparently) and that he ordered him to personally ensure that their honeymoon is as romantic and special as humanly possible...and Blake and Krystle coo, "Oooh! That's so niiice of him!" The manager tells the newlyweds to enjoy the local delicacies and traditional Brazilian music, then saunters off. Blake gazes at Krystle and asks her if she's hungry - 'cause if she's not, he's hungry for something that ain't food, which...gross. He then grins at her goofily, and the two smooch intensely for what seems like a really looooong time. Jeff is packing up his stuff from his/Kirby's bedroom when Kirby enters and snaps, "Not wasting any time, are we?" and Jeff's like, "Well d'yuh, you're the one who desperately wants a divorce." She asks him to call Andy so he can get the divorce ball rolling, and he's like, "Can do" ... and after he exits the bedroom, Kirby bursts into tears. Mark is transporting Alexis' suitcases from her bedroom to the penthouse's living room when Dex emerges from the private elevator. It's funny how the concierge seems to allow this non-resident to saunter in and out of Alexis' private living space without permission. Mark tells him his boss is out - but that as soon as she returns, they have plans to jet off to Rio. Dex orders Mark to bring her suitcases back upstairs, but Mark shoots him the stink-eye and says he's Mrs. Colby's lackey, not his. Dex snaps, "Fine" then grabs the bags and says he'll do it himself, and Mark punches him in the face...and soon the two men are brawling in the living room. A few seconds later, Alexis arrives home and demands to know what the hell is going on here, and Mark snaps, "I was just showing him the way out." Dex says he dropped by to stop her from making a fool of herself, then implores her to stop wasting time on bitter memories [of a man who clearly can't stand the sight of her] and let go of the past already fer fuck's sake. He says, yeah, Blake was a fool to let her go...but nevertheless he did, and it's totes OK 'cause she now has him (Dex) to add a little man spice to her life. Alexis says he may be right 'bout that, then tucks her arm in his and steers him over to the other end of the living room. As an emasculated Mark looks on helplessly, Alexis urges Dex to call the airline and cancel her reservation...and he obediently does and quickly learns that it had already been cancelled. Alexis smugly tells him she decided all on her own to cancel the trip, but that she's still into the idea of destroying Blake; however, it'll be in his board room, not his hotel room. Dex seems pleased with that pronouncement...thought I have no idea why, since she's clearly unwilling or unable to let go of her bitterness/anger/hurt/whatever she so deeply feels for her wrinkly old goat of an ex-husband. She sternly reminds Dex that she, and not he, makes her own decisions and runs her own life.
Tracy is rifling through confidential files in Denver-Carrington's appropriately named Confidential Files Room. Andy happens to walk in and is all, "Wha-a?" when he sees what's happening, and Tracy tries to act all nonchalant as she breezily chirps, "I'll be out of your way in a minute." Andy tightly says he didn't realize that the PR department kept its files in this room, and Tracy says they don't, then spouts some nonsense about how Krystle is always saying that PR deals with private matters and so one must always be prepared. She smugly says, "That's why Krystle gave me the keys" then flounces out, leaving Andy staring after her suspiciously. Tracy asks Marsha (Blake's secretary) if Blake called and left any messages for her, and Marsha just stares back at her blankly, 'cause why in the hell would the CEO of a large oil company be calling a PR flunky while he's on his honeymoon? Marsha reminds her that she has a 2:00pm appointment with a reporter from The Chronicle, and Tracy declares that she'll be conducting the interview in Mrs. Carrington's office. Marsha looks appalled and says she didn't realize she'd be using her superior's office, and Tracy bitchily snarks, "I'm telling you now" and flounces off. I'm not sure it's a wise strategy for a corporate wannabe to piss off the CEO's secretary, but whatevs. Back in Rio, Krystle is decked out in a fancy red dress, while Blake is in an all white suit. He pours them a drink and toasts to a lifetime of happiness...and after they each take a sip, they stare at each other intensely. He asks her what she was thinking about earlier, remarking, "I know that pensive Krystle look" - bwahahaha! - and Krystle explains that she's physically unable to contort her face into an expression other than one of pensiveness 'cause she's been thinking a lot lately about how much she wants to give him a child. Blake frowns and says he has no desire to repeat the I'm-soooo-depressed-about-my-miscarriage storyline from Season 2 'cause she was such a major bummer to be around. He reminds her that they have Baby Blake to cuddle and enjoy and will soon have Kirby's spawn to dote on. Krystle pensively contemplates this, and the two start slow dancing. Jeff and Kirby are having an awkward dinner in the mansion's dining room. When Jeff remarks that she's not eating very much, she snaps, "I'm not hungry!" He asks her whassup with the bitchitude, so she tells him he didn't call Andy as he had promised - but Jeff informs her he did, actually, and that Andy isn't available to meet with them until tomorrow. Kirby says she's irked that they have to keep pretending to be a normal couple, then throws down her fork and storms upstairs. Adam spots her fleeing to her room and, a few seconds later, barges in as she's standing by the window heaving. Kirby wearily tells him to get lost, but he insists she needs him...and she bitchily retorts that she doesn't need anyone, least of all her date rapist baby daddy. Adam stubbornly declares, "You need my love", reminds her that he proposed to her yesterday, then for some reason starts talking about himself in the third person: "Adam loves you as he's never loved anyone before." LOL. Kirby retorts, "Kirby doesn't want your love!" and says she's fine with having only her baby to love her...but Adam warns her that her baby will grow up hating her for depriving it of its birthright, not that that's going to happen anyway 'cause he refuses to allow her to take his rape spawn - a Carrington by blood - away from him.
Two weeks later.. Claudia is chatting with Danny's nanny in the park when a strange man comes over, acts overly familiar, and refers to Danny by name. The concerned nanny tells Claudia that he comes over to them everyday, but Claudia just shrugs unconcernedly and says he's probably just a friendly type of guy, then says she needs to dash off to work now. Alexis barks a to-do list at Steven for his upcoming business trip, then poutishly invokes his birthday plans with Claudia, Blake, and Krystle. Steven's like, "Uh, d'yuh" then suggests she have dinner with him and Claudia shortly after his birthday, and she seems happy enough with that idea. He asks her whassup with the Lex-Dex company, specifically the tar sands project, then grumbles about how he's received no real information about it from Dex. Alexis breezily says she'll handle Dex, and that he should run along to the airport now. A few seconds later, Dex drops by unannounced and Alexis chides him for his presumptuousness in not calling ahead. Dex says he doesn't have time to play games, then in the next breath tells her he was playing games when he fibbed to her about being in Australia on business for the last two weeks. He says no matter where his tortured mind took him, it always came down to one woman: her. Alexis feigns indifference and says, "Sorry, not interested" - but Dex insists she wants him as much as he wants her. He then whips out a large velvet box and says he managed to put a little something together that so perfectly reflects her beauty...and inside the box is a dazzling diamond and emerald necklace. Alexis gasps and says, "It's breathtaking" and Dex tells her all about how he picked out each stone, polished them lovingly, then carefully cobbled them together to create this glittery tribute to her stunning awesomeness. He sure likes to spout some serious, waist-deep feces-wading bullcack, that Dex. He puts the necklace around her neck, and Alexis sashays over to the mirror and admires her new jewels. Dex looms behind her and declares, "Magnificent!" while an impressed Alexis smirks happily at her reflection...and then the two start smooching intensely.
Fallon is in a meeting with Peter's Brazilian architect, Ernesto, discussing the proposed expansion of the La Mirage. She calls his work brilliant, sips coffee, and toasts Peter for bringing them together. Adam enters her office just as Ernesto is on his way out...and after he glances at the blueprints, he warns Fallon that this building project will likely be a lot more expensive than she's being told, and that, generally speaking, Peter is a con man who's full of hot air and empty promises. Fallon snappishly tells him to let her worry about Peter, then tells him to get lost 'cause she's got lots of work to do. Andy has drawn up divorce papers and is going over them with Kirby. He urges her to think it over carefully before signing - but she ignores that advice and impatiently grabs the pen, pauses for a moment to tough out a sudden near fainting spell, and defiantly signs the papers. After Andy leaves, she rubs her temples and stares worriedly into space. Andy heads over to Denver-Carrington to deliver the divorce papers to Jeff...and Jeff tells him how displeased he is about failing at marriage #2. Andy asks him if the split has anything to do with his lingering feelings for Fallon, and Jeff assures him it has nothing to do with that, and that Fallon has her own thing going with her weird new Eurotrash boyfriend. Andy reminds him that if she marries Mr. Eurotrash, he'll become Baby Blake's step-daddy, and Jeff stares mutely into space as he contemplates that disturbing notion. Ernesto drops in on Peter's head manservant/lackey and snarks about how Peter owes him $2 million. The lackey reminds him that Peter did just pay him $1 million, which he earned on the sale of his horse to Blake Carrington. Ernesto says he needs all of his money back and complains about how Peter squanders so much of his dough on nose candy. The lackey assures him that Peter always [eventually] pays his debts, then smiles all sinister-like and says he's about to strike oil. Blake and Krystle return to Denver and are greeted on the private airstrip by Fallon and Peter. The newlyweds gush to Peter about how magnificent his Rio hotel was and thank him for all the hospitality they enjoyed. Fallon informs them that Peter is about to give her another flying lesson, and doesn't seem nearly as concerned as Blake clearly is that he's not a licensed instructor. Once inside the tiny plane, Peter stares creepily at Fallon and gives her an intense smooch before taking off. Claudia is hard at work at La Mirage when the nanny calls her in a panic to report that the overly familiar man followed them home from the park and is now standing outside the apartment building. Claudia orders her to double lock the door and sit tight until she gets there. Claudia peers out the window and tells the nanny she doesn't see anyone - but the nanny insists that the weirdo was standing right across the street, staring up at them. Claudia mulls that over and decides it's probably not weird enough behavior to call the police over - but when the nanny goes into the nursery to check on Danny, Claudia tries to call Steven wherever he travelled to on business, but is told he can't be reached. Andy tattles to Blake about how Tracy was rifling through the confidential files in the Confidential Files Room - but Blake doesn't look at all concerned and tells him that Krystle entrusted her with the keys. Andy reminds him that these files are super secret and that an underling shouldn't have access to that kind of information, but Blake argues that this underling is a very capable woman. A few seconds later the phone rings - and it's Claudia, who suddenly decided that she should panic over the stalker weirdo. Blake furrows his brows concernedly and is all, "Wha-at's the matter?!" In the next scene, Claudia is getting Danny and the nanny settled into Carrington manor. Blake assures her she's doing the right thing and that they all belong at the mansion anyway 'cause it's their home. Claudia says she's skeptical that Steven will agree to live here permanently, but Blake points out that it makes the most sense for the sake of his baby's safety. After Claudia heads back to the La Mirage, Krystle comes downstairs and tells Blake that Danny and his nanny have settled in nicely. Blake says he has a meeting to get to, but urges her to take the day off so she can spend time cooing at and cuddling little Danny, and Krystle smiles serenely and says she definitely likes the sound of that. Alexis is furious when she hears about Danny's new living arrangements and bitchily demands an explanation. Claudia says the decision wasn't an attack on her; she did it purely for the baby's safety. Alexis wails that the mansion is a prison and that she won't be able to ever visit the tot, and Claudia promises she'll bring her grandson to her penthouse any time she wants to see him [provided she immediately stop screaming at her for making her own life decisions]. Alexis snarls that Steven, not she, is the biological parent in this equation and as such he should have been the one to make this decision. Claudia angrily replies that Steven considers her to be Danny's mother in every way that matters, and that she doesn't need her permission to determine what is safest for him. Alexis scoffs at the idea that Danny is safe with Blake and shakes her head dramatically from side to side - LOL - and calls him a destroyer. Claudia accuses her of being willing to jeopardize Danny's safety 'cause of her hatred for Blake, says she feels sorry for her, then tells her to go pee up a rope 'cause she's got work to do.
Jeannette (the maid) tells Krystle she's very worried about Kirby 'cause the circulation in her swollen ring finger is slowly being cut off. She says that Kirby is in a lot of pain, but no one on the housekeeping staff has a clue what to do. Krystle does some quick thinking and tells her to call Tony at the stable and ask him to bring a metal cutter. Tony saws off the ring while Kirby whimpers in pain and Krystle comforts her. When he finally cuts the wedding band off, Kirby breathes a deep sigh of relief. Krystle tells her she'll take the damaged ring to the jewellers' and get it all fixed up before Jeff comes home - but before Kirby tells her that that won't be necessary, she stares down at her sausage fingers (via footage from another person's man hands) and remarks on how swollen they are. She cries, "Look at them! Ooooh noooo!" and Krystle quickly offers to call the doctor. I'm a recapper not an obstetrician, but isn't finger swelling kind of a normal thing during pregnancy? Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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