Dynasty - Season 4, Episode 19

"Turns out I just had to stand up and put one foot in front of the other."

"Steps"
Original airdate: 3/7/1984

Episode summary: Fallon is cured of her faux paralysis when she has to jump into action to rescue Baby Blake from possible drowning. Alexis taunts Kirby with the news that her mother is a murderess who's currently serving time in prison. Claudia continues to receive weird packages in the mail.

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Recap: Blake drops in on Fallon, who's sitting in the chair in her hospital room looking despondent about her faux below-the-waist paralysis. Blake tells her she looks great, says he's delighted that she'll be coming home today, and assures her that she'll be up and walking before the end credits roll. Fallon says she's not quite sure 'bout that, then moans about how none of her doctors have been able to explain the mysteriousness of her paralysis. Blake looks contemplative for a few seconds and says he'll go talk to the doctor about it right now...and in the next scene the doctor confirms that, nope, there's nothing physically wrong with Fallon and that he's pretty sure the "problem" will resolve itself once she breaks through her emotional blockage, such as opening up about the humiliation of getting dumped by a Eurotrash assbag like Peter De Vilbis. Until then, he advises that she exercise her leg muscles and regularly stretch out her tendons.

Morgan Hess delivers an assortment of newspaper clippings to Alexis about Joseph Anders' wife - who was presumed dead, but is actually alive and serving time in a prison for the criminally insane. Alexis snarks to Hess about how long it took him to gather all this info, and he counter-snarks about how time-consuming it is to compile this kind of stuff without the benefit of Google...and that it's extremely cunty of her to play God with people's lives. He warns her that one day her nefarious schemes will blow up in her face, but she's like, "Whatever", gives him his check for services rendered, and orders him to skedaddle. 

Alexis drops by Blake's office while he's on the phone with Fallon's nurse...and when he finishes the call, he gives Alexis an update on their daughter and invites her to the mansion this evening for the grand homecoming. Alexis poutishly declines 'cause of how hostile Fallon was to her when she first regained consciousness during the previous episode, then changes the subject to Adam and complains that he's about to ruin his life by marrying so far beneath his station. Blake disagrees, reminds Alexis that Adam is a big boy, and that he doesn't believe a marriage to Kirby is necessarily a bad thing...the utter creepiness of him fucking marrying the woman he violently attacked in Season 3 notwithstanding. He says he's thrilled that Adam is finally "acting like a man" (er, OK..?) and doesn't want to interfere with that, and Alexis haughtily retorts that it's obvious that of the two of them she's the only one who cares about their children, insists that Kirby is not good enough for their creepy rapist spawn, then gets up and sashays out of his office.

"I'm just relieved whenever Adam doesn't act like a total psychopath."

"Point taken."

Fallon is chauffeured via a mini limo to Carrington manor, and she's accompanied by Blake and Krystle. Jeff bounds out of the mansion to greet them and scoops Fallon and her lifeless legs into his arms to transport her inside.  

Later, Fallon is relaxing on a chaise in her room petting a cute white cat we've never seen before when Blake drops by to urge her to open up about Peter's callous dumping of her. Fallon brushes off the dumping by saying it was a mistake she'd rather forget...and when Blake tries to press the issue, she firmly tells him to leave it alone and to go fetch Baby Blake so she can indulge in some much needed mother-son cuddle time. 

Adam stops by Kirby's room, shirtless and sweating after a workout in the gym. Ew. When he gets all grab-handsy with her, she implores him to let her go - and he creepily asks, "Do you really want me to?", then responds to his own question by declaring, "I don't think so." He smooches her intensely and gabbles about how all of their dreams are about to come true: power, wealth, a Carrington heir. Ew. Kirby stares back at him blankly and asks him if he really just wants to marry her to secure an heir, and he breathily retorts, "I want it all.." and plants another intense smooch on her lips. Kirby somehow relaxes in his iron grip and gets into his creepy foreplay just as the phone rings...and a disappointed looking Adam leaves the room to give her some privacy to take the call. On the line is Alexis, scantily covered by a towel while she receives a massage. She tells Kirby she'd like to get to know her better since she's about to become her daughter-in-law, then brusquely orders her to come by the penthouse for lunch. When Kirby tries to politely decline, Alexis refuses to take no for an answer, crisply says she'll send her car to the mansion to pick her up, then abruptly hangs up.

"Once we're married, I can be as grab-handsy as I want."

"That seems fine now that I no longer find the notion of marrying my attacker preposterous."

Claudia enters the breakfast room and wigs out when she sees a small box sitting on the dining table. Krystle calms her down and tells her it's just a box of napkin holders she asked one of the servants to order, then opens it to show her the contents. Claudia apologizes for squirrelling out and explains that today is hers and Matthew's wedding anniversary, and that she's nervous 'cause she knows someone is out there doing his/her best to destroy her mental state...which, even on the best of days, is pretty fragile.

Fallon is working out in the mansion's gym...and by working out I mean she's sitting on a stationary bicycle with her lifeless feet fastened to the pedals as the motorized apparatus forces her lifeless legs to bob up and down in a cycling motion. Krystle enters the room and urges Fallon to dislodge her mental block by unburdening her anxieties onto a psychiatrist - but Fallon argues that it's her legs not her head that isn't working. Krystle stares back at her in pensive concern for few seconds before shrugging indifferently and exiting the gym.

Tracy flounces into Blake's office to show him the head shots she arranged for him to get done for some kind of Denver-Carrington PR campaign. While she gushes over his photogenic awesomeness, Dex bursts in with an angry look etched on his wooden face. After Tracy hastily excuses herself to get out of the line of fire, Dex snarls at Blake for cancelling the deal to refine oil for his and Alexis' newly formed Lex-Dex corporation...and Blake shoots him a sly grin and says, "Welcome to the big time" and says he made the oil refinement deal with Oscar Stone, not the flunky Lex-Dex, Inc. [with whom Stone signed a deal]. He admonishes Dex for choosing to work in cahoots with Alexis over remaining loyal to Denver-Carrington, then dismissively barks, "Get someone else to refine your oil."

Kirby arrives at Alexis' penthouse for lunch and runs into Mark, who's wearing a dark velvet track suit and is promptly yelled at by Alexis to beat it 'cause he's not invited to this ladies lunch. Someone please explain to me why Mark, whose usefulness as Krystle's still legal husband has long expired, hasn't yet been killed off or written out of the show. Alexis snarks at her manservant 'cause apparently the lunches he just brought up from the downstairs restaurant are Cornish hens - not quail. She then steers Kirby over to the living room for a chat and tells her that a position in the Paris branch of ColbyCo (?) has just materialized out of thin air, and that it includes a fat salary, use of a luxurious Paris apartment, and a car and chauffeur. Kirby says she knows this is just a ploy to keep her away from creepy Adam (which one could think of as an incentive) and says, "No sale, Alexis." She then reminds Alexis that she was raped by Adam in this very living room - ew - then accuses Alexis of [figuratively] doing the same thing to her right now. She defiantly pronounces that her next baby is going to be a Carrington, and Alexis haughtily tells her she doesn't deserve to mingle among the Colorado elite on account of her "bloodline" being in question. When Kirby scrunches her face in confusion, Alexis informs her that her mother is alive and serving time in prison 'cause she killed the lover with whom she abandoned her husband and only child. Kirby shrieks, "You're a liar!" so Alexis hands her the assortment of newspaper clippings she got from Morgan Hess and smugly watches Kirby's shocked and pained reaction. 

"Your son raped me in this living room."

"Which makes your willingness to marry him all the more weird and disturbing."

Fallon and her lifeless legs are parked in a chair near the mansion's pond when Jeff and a small army of manservants appear with all that is necessary for a huge picnic lunch. After everything is spread out, Jeff sets Fallon on the blanket and pours a glass of wine for each of them. Fallon complains about how everyone is bugging her to see a shrink and talk about Peter De Vilbis - but that she really has no desire to re-invoke that tedious storyline. Jeff says he's A-OK not talking about Eurotrash, and that she'll learn to love and walk again once she's fully mentally recombobulated. Fallon gazes at him lovingly for a few seconds, then leans over and gives him a smooch.

Steven drops by Adam's office at Denver-Carrington to snarkishly accuse him of stealing his China Sea Evaluation Report. Adam pretends to have no earthly idea what he's talking about, but then kind of implicates himself by chiding Steven for taking all the credit for a report that he (Adam) did most of the legwork for. Steven shoots him the stink-eye, says that one day soon he's going to find himself tossed out on the street where he belongs, then bitchily storms out of the office. Maybe in the future Steven will think to make a photocopy of his important reports.

In the next scene, Adam presents the China Sea Evaluation Report to Blake and says that he and Steven worked on it together - but only after he (Adam) initiated the project. Blake nods his head and looks very impressed, then buzzes his secretary to ask her to please track down their affiliate in Hong Kong.

Fallon and her lifeless legs are now lounging by the swimming pool when Jeff brings Baby Blake outside to hang with her. When Jeff is called away to take a phone call, Baby Blake gets distracted by his toy truck, which is motoring dangerously close to the pool. Fallon watches in horror, then starts shrieking, "OMG! Baby Blake! Noooooo!!" ... but before the tot can topple over into the water, Fallon leaps up from her chair, runs over to her son, and scoops him into her arms. Jeff rushes over to ensure that no disaster occurred and squeals, "You can walk!" and Fallon's all, "Wha-a-a?" then realizes that since she was suddenly so easily able to regain the use of her legs, her disability had probably been as giant a load of bullcack as when Blake temporarily lost his eyesight in Season 2.  

A tearful Kirby shows Blake the assortment of newspaper clippings that Alexis gave her earlier, then asks him if it's really true that her mother is a murderess and still alive. Blake admits that Joseph told him about his wife being institutionalized, and that he had never wanted her to find out. When Kirby wails, "He lied to me!", Blake says that the family she has now is what's most important...and that once she marries his rapist son, she'll officially become part of his dysfunctional clan. He then tells her that tonight the Carringtons are celebrating Fallon's legs being restored to their default settings, and that she would be missed by everyone if she didn't attend the party.

Krystle gabbles at the kitchen staff about how excited everyone is about tonight's dinner, which looks to be an assortment of Fallon's favorite foods.

The Carringtons are dressed up and mingling in the library when Jeff and Fallon make their grand entrance...and Fallon showcases her re-functioning legs and lifts her arms as if to triumph over the disability she's been faking for the last week or so. The family hoots and claps, cries, "Congratulations!" and envelopes her in hugs. At dinner, Blake gives a speech about how sensitive yet resilient Fallon has proven herself to be, then raises his glass to salute her awesomeness.

"I'm back to standing upright!"

"Hurray!"

Alexis is sprawled on her sofa, overindulging on martinis. Dex arrives and reminds her that they have plans to go to the theater - but she tells him she has a headache and therefore no desire to go out. He asks her why she's at home drinking instead of celebrating the end of Fallon's faux paralysis storyline, and Alexis poutishly says that Fallon has proven with her snarkitude that she doesn't want her around...then sadly admits that they've never had a very close mother-daughter relationship. Dex hands her the phone receiver and urges her to reach out to her daughter...and after a few seconds of mulling that over, Alexis cries, "I can't do it!" She then clings urgently onto Dex and barks, "Hold me close like you never have before!" LOL.

During the celebration dinner, a manservant hands Claudia a large envelop that was just delivered to the mansion, and Claudia excuses herself to a private room to examine the contents. Inside the envelop she finds a photo of herself that Matthew took on their first wedding anniversary...and when Steven enters the room to see whassup, she shows him the photo and says she's increasingly skeered of whoever's been sending her all this Matthew-related stuff. Steven shrugs and brushes off her concerns by assuring her that somehow everything is going to be A-OK. He urges her to return to the party, and she says she'll join him after she takes a few minutes to "freshen up". Once he's out of earshot, she picks up the phone and books a flight to Lima, Peru, presumably to investigate for herself whether or not Matthew is really, absolutely, truly dead.

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