Recap: Fallon admonishes Steven for not perjuring himself on the stand in order to corroborate her made-up testimony. She's worried it might sway the jurors to convict Blake, so Steven explains to the nitwit that he told the truth in court 'cause it's the law...plus he doubts that committing perjury will help Blake's case anyway. Fallon snaps back that he hasn't exactly been truthful, e.g. when he told Blake he was going straight and then went back to "that guy". That's...a completely nonsensical analogy. Steven reminds her that that guy's name is Ted - and that he's the guy Blake's on trial for murdering. Fallon asks her brother what he expected Blake to do when he walked [stormed] into his room and found him and Ted in coitus [hugging goodbye]? Steven tells her he expected Blake to listen to him and to the truth, so then Fallon accuses him of doing all this on purpose to get revenge on Blake - and by all this, she means...well, I have no idea. She accuses Steven of being "the guilty one", meaning that he (not St. Blake) is to blame for Ted's death; after all, he practically invited the guy over to the mansion to die! Steven glares at his deranged sister for a few seconds, then quietly stalks off with his head held down.
That evening at the mansion, Blake tells Andy he thinks he should testify...but Andy says it's a bad idea, then snappishly lectures Blake about how a courtroom isn't the same as a boardroom, where he has total control over everything. Blake bitchily reminds his lawyer lackey that he's still on his payroll, which means he works for him and therefore has to do everything he says. A deflated Andy turns to Krystle and implores her to talk some sense into her husband, then explains that saying the wrong thing on the stand is all it takes for a defendant to destroy his case. Krystle tells Andy she's staying mute on the subject and will defer to whatever her douchebag husband thinks is best. Fallon suddenly interjects and snarks that Krystle just wants Blake to end up in jail so she can get her hands on all of his stuff. Jeff snaps, "Watch your mouth!" and Fallon snaps back at him to stay out of it, since he's not really a part of this family. It's truly a mystery why Jeff hasn't made a beeline over to the nearest divorce lawyer to sever all ties with this spoiled troll.
Fallon asks Krystle why she came back - but before Krystle can respond, she accuses her of getting it on with Matthew. Blake gets mad and yells at her to shut up, and Fallon yells back that Krystle only returned to Carrington manor to pick his bones...and then criticizes her performance at the board meeting. Blake declares he's proud of the way Krystle handled herself at the board meeting - as well he should, since he's the one who forced her to go, and told her exactly what to say and do. Fallon starts railing about how Krystle believes Blake killed Ted...and Blake wearily tells her to shut the fuck up, and reminds her that they were all a family once. He bows his head shamefully and moans about losing his son, and tells Fallon she's losing her brother...and on top of that, he just insulted his best friend. He apologizes to Andy (Andy's his best friend? Seriously?) and Andy announces that he's going home, so Blake and Krystle walk him out. Now that they're alone, Jeff asks Fallon if she lied in court today, and she starts crying and shaking her head. He asks her again, and she replies, "If I did, can you understand why? Can Steven?" Mmm...no and no. Jeff says that Blake was right about her losing her brother, and this makes Fallon cry harder, and she wails, "What am I going to do?!" Jeff sighs deeply, then walks across the room to sit next to her and comfort her with a hug.
The next day, the prosecution rests its case. Andy calls Joseph to the stand, and he concurs with the maid's testimony (sort of) and testifies that they were standing near the foyer when Blake arrived home on that fateful night. Andy asks him if Blake exclaimed, "I'll kill him!" when he was told that Steven was in his room with his former lover, and Joseph denies that that's true. Andy asks him to explain, so Joseph says he heard Blake say, "I'll get him" which he took to mean, "I'll get him out of the house." OK...I'm afraid I'm going to have to object to this testimony, as it is an inaccurate characterization of what actually occurred that night. If it pleases the court, I present you with Exhibit B, from my recap of The Separation episode:
"Meanwhile, Blake arrives home (uh oh!) and asks Joseph if Krystle came crawling back to him yet...and he's like, "Uh...no." He tells Blake that Steven, however, is home...and that he's upstairs with Mr. Dinard. Blake immediately flies into a rage and snarls, "In my house?! I'll kill him!" He storms down the hallway and up the stairs, and the camera-work gets really jerky and wavy to underscore his uncontainable rage at Ted for having the nerve to drop by. "
Jake Dunham gets up to cross examine Mr. Majordomo and asks him if he's sure Blake said get and not kill. Joseph stands by his alternate version of reality, so Jake brings up a hearing loss condition that's apparently on his medical records. Joseph brushes it off and insists that he can hear just fine, so Jake tests his hearing by murmuring, "I'll kill him." Joseph says he heard him (meaning Jake) just say, "I'll kill him" just fine...and for some reason, the spectators start tittering and oohing and aahing as though Jake had suddenly broken the case wide open. Weird.
Andy calls Krystle to the stand next. He asks her if Blake has a violent disposition, and she pensively stares over at the ogre and says, "No." Andy then asks her if he ever gets angry, and Krystle says, "Of course" and adds that at times [as in, all the time] he gets moody and argumentative, especially when he's under pressure. Andy asks her, "Does he ever get violent?" and Krystle pensively recalls the night the drunken monster raped her in their bed, then replies, "No." Liar! Perjurer! Enabler! Andy asks her if she loves Blake, and she says she definitely does love the old goat...and for some reason, Fallon is shooting her a very squinty stink-eye from the spectators' box. Andy then asks her if Blake loves Steven, and she says he does...very much. [Not sure how this is relevant, or even permitted, since it's impossible for anyone to truly know what's in another person's heart.] Andy dismisses Krystle from the witness box, then calls on a woman named Sarah, who's the frizzy haired hooker Steven hung out with at the bordello but never actually doinked. Blake discreetly asks Andy if this is the witness they had discussed, and Andy says it is, then grimly adds that it's a waste of time and that he'd prefer to have Claudia on the stand. Blake adamantly refuses to allow it...and I still can't figure why he would give a damn about the woman's fragile mental state.
Sarah testifies that she works as a masseuse who gives "rub downs and stuff like that" to her paying customers. She happily admits that she works at a bordello, and that she once entertained a customer named Steven Carrington. Andy asks her if Steven's massage ended with a bang, and she smirks and testifies that they did, in fact, hit the sheets together. Liar! Perjurer! Since almost every witness in this trial is a damn liar, I'm afraid I'm going to have to once again interrupt the proceedings and present to the court Exhibit C - an excerpt from my recap of The Bordello:
"She helps Steven unbutton his shirt and leads him over to the bed...but when she urges him to lie down next to her, he wigs out and says he's only there 'cause Walter made him come. She looks hurt and asks if this was a bet or something, and he says that while he has generally no interest in having sex with females, he wouldn't mind it if they just talked until his allotted doinking time runs out."
Andy tries to get more details about their encounter and asks, "Did it appear to you that Steven Carrington was a homosexual?" Sarah pretends to carefully mull that over, then says, "It did not appear so...at least not with me." She then claims that Steven stayed half an hour over the regular time limit...and this prompts the spectators to burst out laughing, while Steven sits perfectly still and looks mortified. Andy asks her if Steven ever visited her again, and she says he did return a few more times to get his wick dipped.
When it's Jake's turn to cross examine, he comes right out and asks Sarah if she's a prostitute, and she's like, "Well, d'yuh." Jake rolls his eyes and declares that since her line of work constitutes a felony, her testimony is worthless...not to mention completely irrelevant in trying to establish Blake's guilt or innocence with regard to Ted's demise. Jake needlessly asks Sarah to describe her job, so she saucily replies, "I do anything you like" and all the spectators start hooting and hollering. The judge tries in vain to restore order, and Andy discreetly orders a courtroom flunky to deliver a subpoena to Claudia.
At the book store, Claudia's all discombobulated when she's handed the subpoena, and she tells the courtroom flunky she needs to make a quick call to her husband. When Matthew answers, she tells him she loves him and knows she's always been a burden for him...but that "things will be better this way". She abruptly hangs up, leaving Matthew confused and all, "Wha-a?!" on the other end. He immediately dashes out to his car and races home...and when he runs into the garage, the phone is ringing. It's Jake, who advises him to get to the courthouse like pronto, 'cause Claudia has just been subpoenaed, and the experience is bound to be rough on her.
Andy calls Claudia to the stand, and Blake looks pissed off and snarls to Andy that he had directed him not to do this. Andy explains that he's doing his best to keep him out of jail...and that he can either fire him, or shut up about it and go along with the program.
Claudia testifies that she met Ted on only one occasion: the night before he died. She explains that he came by the book store, and that they argued about Steven. She says that Ted had come to Denver to try to talk Steven into returning to New York with him - and this concerned her 'cause Steven was in the process of transitioning into a straight man. Andy asks her how well she came to know Steven, and she says they were, uh, friends...but when Andy probes more deeply, Claudia says she doesn't want to answer 'cause she's married with a daughter (a fact she conveniently forgot about when she began her affair with Steven). Andy tells her she has to respond, and suddenly Steven springs up from his seat and demands to know what he's trying to do. The judge yells at him to sit back down. Andy asks Claudia if she and Steven ever doinked...and, naturally, Matthew just happens to enter the courtroom at that exact moment. Claudia fidgets nervously and says, "Yes...several times" and notices that her husband is now sitting in the spectators' box. Andy asks her if Steven ever demonstrated any signs of gayness, and Jake objects to this stupid line of questioning and says that homosexuals can sometimes swing both ways. Andy rephrases the question, and it comes off sounding even stupider: "Would you say Steven Carrington is a thoroughly and totally normal heterosexual partner?" Claudia goes, "Yes" and suddenly Matthew becomes enraged, jumps out of his chair, and lumbers toward the witness box, glowering at his wife. He then abruptly re-directs his rage toward Blake and lunges at him and starts wailing on him - and it's awesome! The judge pounds his gavel and orders the bailiffs to restrain and arrest Matthew. As the bailiffs wrestle him to the floor, Claudia rushes out of the courtroom in tears...and Blake and his clan look shaken by the unexpected attack.
When Lindsay arrives home from school, Claudia is rushing out the front door with a suitcase. She tells her daughter they're leaving and orders her to get in the car, which she does. Matthew, meanwhile, is placed in a holding cell at the local jail.
Blake is on the stand, and he's testifying about how his children's mother abandoned them, and that he wishes he'd been a better father, blah blah. He says that Steven currently works in a refinery, and that he's proud of him for learning the oil business from the ground up, then says he loves him very much. Andy asks him if he was trying to protect his son from "an abnormal life, a life of homosexuality" and Blake says that's exactly what he was trying to do. He describes how Steven had returned to Colorado to "straighten up and fulfill his life as a man"...but then troublemaking Ted showed up to derail Steven's quest for a manly life. Andy asks him how he felt when he learned that Ted was in his house, and Blake admits he got angry and thinks he said, "I'll get him", but then concedes he might have said, "I'll kill him." [You did say that - don't make me insert Exhibit B again.] Andy asks Blake if his intent was to hurt Ted, and he says no - he just wanted the gay man out of his son's life. He then describes what happened: he climbed the stairs, burst into Steven's room and saw Ted with his arms around Steven. Andy asks him if he had any knowledge that they were saying goodbye, and Blake says he didn't. Andy then raises his voice and barks, "You did not! Did not!" Calm down, idiot...we're not deaf - we heard Blake say it the first time. Blake claims he ordered Ted to take his hands off his son, and Andy swiftly interjects and asked him if there was any violence between him and Ted. Blake admits there was (wuh?), and that he ordered him out of the house [no he didn't!!] then says, "Ted came at me." Andy raises his voice for dramatic effect and bellows, "And did you try to protect yourself from this younger and stronger man coming at you?!!" Blake says he may have, but it was all so confusing. Andy suddenly punches his fist in Blake's direction, and Blake instinctively pulls back and cringes. Andy barks, "Is that the way it happened?!" LOL. He asks him if he raised his hands to defend himself, and Blake mulls that over, likes the way that version of events sounds, and goes, "Uh, yeah...OK." LOL. Andy asks Blake if at any time he wished death upon Ted, and Blake raises his brows as if the notion is far too crazy to possibly be true and says, "No." Andy then asks him to reveal what it felt like to enter [barrel into] his son's room and find a gay man hugging him, and Blake gets a faraway look in his eyes and says he only remembers seeing the room...that special place where he once carried his newborn son and placed him in a crib...where they played and wrestled together, where Steven almost died of pneumonia. I don't know what any of this has to do with anything. As Blake tears up, the camera pans around the courtroom to capture everyone's reactions: Krystle, pensive; Jeff, bored; Fallon, openly sobbing.
Claudia is speeding out of town with Lindsay, who keeps asking her where they're going...then starts wailing that she doesn't want to go anywhere. Claudia just stares straight ahead, her hands clutching the steering wheel, and assures her wailing child that she's doing the right thing.
It's Jake's turn to cross examine Blake. He asks him if he's talked to Ted's parents since his death - answer: no - then muses about how those poor people probably find Ted's room a very empty, special place right now. Heh. Andy objects and says that comments about Ted's bedroom are "immaterial and irrelevant", despite the fact that he just let Blake nostalgically babble on and on about Steven's room. The judge sustains the objection and tells Jake to stick to the facts of the case - which seems...oh whatever, judge. Jake asks Blake what was going through his head after he blurted out I'll kill him, then points out that he had to walk forty steps to reach the stairs, climb twenty-five steps to reach the second floor, then walk fifteen steps to get to his son's room. Blake admits he was angry and wanted Ted out of his house, but denies that murder was on his mind. Jake asks him if Steven and Ted were in bed together when he burst in, and Blake's like, "Er...no", so then he asks him if the two were full clothed at the time, and Blake's like, "Er...yes." Jake looks perplexed and asks Blake what exactly it was that the two men were doing that so inflamed his sensibilities. Well put, counsellor. Blake explains that Ted was embracing his son, so Jake points out that since it was a consensual hug, Steven was also embracing Ted. Blake shakes his head and nonsensically mutters, "I don't remember" then adds that it kinda looked like Ted was seducing his son. LOL. Jake studies him for a moment and asks him if he's familiar with the word homophobia. Blake says he is, and defines it as a dislike of homosexuals - but Jake corrects him and calls it a pathological hatred of gays. He then asks Blake if he's a homophobe, and Blake looks fake shocked and is all, "What?! Me?! Of course not!" LOL. Jake ends his questioning there, and Andy announces that the defence rests. Jake springs up and announces that he has a rebuttal witness, who should be arriving in a few minutes. He then mutters to no one in particular, "And this should blow them right out of the water."
Lindsay starts ugly crying and tells Claudia she wants to talk to her dad. Suddenly, she stares straight ahead and screams at the sight of a car parked on the side of the road ahead of them. Claudia somehow loses control of the vehicle and plows into it and ends up almost driving over top of it. If she survives, someone should really confiscate her driver's license.
Matthew is moping in his cell when someone comes by to inform him that his wife and daughter were in a car accident and have been taken to the hospital. Matthew gets all angst-ridden and says he needs to get sprung from jail immediately.
Everyone in court is breathlessly awaiting the surprise rebuttal witness...and just when the judge is about to lose his patience, Jake is told his witness has arrived. The doors open, and a very chichi looking woman enters. She's decked out in a fantastically tailored white and black suit, and her face is obscured by dark sunglasses and a large floppy hat with a veil attached to it. LOL. As she silently makes her way toward the witness box, everyone stares at her in awe. Blake asks Andy what she's doing here, and Fallon gasps and exclaims to Jeff, "My God! That's my mother!" We then get superfluous close ups of everyone's stunned expressions, but no more footage of Alexis, which makes me doubt that the mysterious woman behind the veil is actually Joan Collins.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!