Recap: Krystle is being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance - and Blake is at her side, clutching her hand. She tearfully wails, "I can't lose our child! I can't!" and Blake half-heartedly tries to assure her that everything will turn out OK. Fallon's hanging out at Nick's house, staring at a photo of Nick and his younger brother. Nick asks her if she's going to get dressed and be on her way now, but she ignores his not-so-subtle hint and flops herself on top of his bed and tells him she's in no hurry. He asks her if she knows what time it is, and she's like, "I don't care", and Nick replies, "Maybe your husband does." Fallon shrugs and says she comes and goes as she pleases, and Nick grumbles that it seems to be a Carrington trait not to give a crap about anybody but themselves. Well d'yuh. Fallon tells him he's much sweeter when he's in the sack, then remarks on how little he seems to think of Blake...but Nick just shrugs and says he doesn't give Blake much thought and considers him a client, nothing more. He tries to give her the heave-ho again by reminding her it's getting late, and she assures him she's leaving...but before she does, she wants to know why he's such a man of mystery - not that she's complaining, since she likes her men to be upbeat one minute, then broody the next. She asks him why he left New York, so he tells her the pace was too hectic...and says by now his patients have likely been referred to better doctors than he. Fallon says she doesn't buy his fake modesty and wants to know what he's hiding, then leans in and gives him a long smooch. After that, the two stare at each mutely while the camera pans back and forth between close close-ups of their faces. Jeff arrives at the hospital wearing a dorky sweater vest. He finds Blake in the waiting room and asks him how Krystle is doing, and Blake says he's still waiting for word, but is hopeful it'll be good news. He asks Jeff where Fallon is, and Jeff says he has no clue where she took off to after returning from Vegas. Blake shakes his head in dismay at the spoiled brat he raised and says, "She's just going to take a little more time to settle down...but she will." Jeff informs him that he quit ColbyCo to protest the dickish way Cecil called in his loan. Blake is all, "Wuh?!" then promptly invites him to come work at Denver-Carrington...and when Jeff is all, "Wuh?!" Blake tells him he's far more loyal and trustworthy than his own children, and this is evidenced by the fact that he's the one at the hospital right now, not either of them. Jeff goes off in search of a pay phone to call the mansion and see if Fallon has turned up yet...and while he's doing that, Blake has a series of superfluous flashbacks: him ordering Krystle to carry his spawn (gross), him giving her the keys to her new Rolls-Royce, Krystle showing him the silver spoon she bought for their baby. Alexis lounges on her couch in a flowy white robe and calls the hospital to try to get information on Krystle's status. The receptionist (or whoever) asks her if she's a member of the family - and Alexis admits she's not, but says she's the first Mrs. Carrington and is therefore entitled to know how her former husband's wife is doing. LOL. The receptionist tells her to go pee up a rope and hangs up on her to take another call. Haha! Sammy Jo has brought Steven to a house party so he can meet her bonehead stock car racing friends. One of the yokels is shocked when he learns that Steven doesn't race cars, and says he doubts he'll get very far "with Miss Hot-rod here". He then challenges Steven to a race, but Steven declines...however, when the yokel taunts him by calling him a turkey, the name-calling proves to be too much and he agrees to race. It's all very Grease, but without the charismatic rivalry of Danny Zuko and that Craterface guy. Sammy Jo needlessly announces to her friends that she and Steven are going to boogie all night long, and then steers him toward the makeshift dance floor. Blake is pacing the halls of the hospital when the doctor finally emerges from the ER, looking very sweaty and tired. He stares sheepishly at Blake, then tells him they did everything they could. He assures him that Krystle will be fine, but she lost the baby. Blake tears up and says that the child meant so much to his wife...but then is like, "Oh well, maybe next time." The doctor tells him that there probably shouldn't be a next time, 'cause apparently Krystle has an abnormality of the uterus...so then Blake gets all pissy and blames him for not telling Krystle about her bum uterus before she started down the pregnancy route. The doctor tells him that there's no way to detect this type of abnormality in a regular examination, and Blake barks, "Isn't there?!" The doctor shakes his head sadly, and Blake apologizes for being such a snappish dickwad. Fallon returns to the mansion, still clad in the skanky red dress she seduced Nick in. She runs into Alexis, who wryly remarks that it's a little late to be arriving home. Fallon tells her she couldn't sleep and went for a long drive, and a skeptical looking Alexis invites her to come by her studio for a cup of coffee, then warns her that it's sure to be ghastly, 'cause apparently she doesn't know how to make very good coffee. In the next scene, Fallon is drinking her mother's coffee, making a blech face to illustrate its ghastliness. Alexis asks her where she really spent the night, then says she doesn't believe her fib 'cause the red dress she's wearing is way too slutty for just a drive. Fallon petulantly asks her where she thinks she's been, and Alexis doesn't skip a beat before retorting, "In somebody's bed." Fallon glares at her, snarks that her coffee tastes like poison, then springs up from the couch. She orders her mother to stay out of her life - as in, the way she's been doing for the past sixteen years. Alexis says she's only trying to advise her, so Fallon snaps back that she doesn't need her advice. Alexis tells her that in her heyday, she too was quite the slut - LOL - and Fallon says she gets that she's trying to tell her to be sure that her sleazy extracurricular activities are worth what it may cost her, marriage-wise. She asks her mother if she now regrets cheating on Blake while they were married, and Alexis says, "Maybe", then adds that some women don't appreciate what they have until they lose it.
Krystle is in her hospital bed having a bad dream...and after a few seconds of flailing around, she wakes up and starts screaming unintelligibly. A nurse hurries in the room, followed by Blake. He tries to comfort her as she wails and cries about how badly she wanted the baby, blah blah...then promises Blake that next time his bun is in her oven, she'll be very careful. He just stares at her mutely, and the nurse gives her a shot to sedate her. Fallon's lying in bed, dreamily recalling her doinkfest with Nick. Jeff enters the room, glances at the slutty red dress scrunched up near the foot of the bed, then asks his wife where she's been all night. She tells him she went to the lake to be alone, but Jeff clearly doesn't buy it and glares at her with his strange looking caterpillar eyebrows furrowed upwards. He tells her about Krystle's miscarriage, and Fallon says she's very sorry for what her stepmother just lost. Jeff then asks her what she lost yesterday and quips, "Your amateur standing?" Oh, SNAP! He glares at her some more before turning and storming out of the room.
Claudia's sitting by the pool reading the paper, dressed in a grisly looking velour tracksuit and a silly headband. Alexis saunters over and asks her if she heard a car speeding away last night. Claudia informs her it was an ambulance that transported Krystle to the hospital, then adds that she just heard from Jeff that she lost the baby. Alexis fake gasps, "How dreadful!" then tells Claudia she must know what it's like to lose a child. Claudia says that she at least had sixteen great years with her spawn, so Alexis assures her she'll find her daughter someday (no she won't) then clucks sympathetically about how awful it must have been for her to have to testify about doinking Steven while her husband was present in the courtroom. Claudia asks her why she's even remotely interested in her, since she's just a lodger at Carrington manor...and Alexis chuckles and says she too is just a lodger, then says she's grateful to her for any heterosexual happiness she may have brought to Steven's life. She then shifts the conversation back to Krystle and says she just suffered a great loss...but the difference is that she's not a lodger - she's the mistress of the house. Alexis exclaims, "She still has everything! Everything!" and then rushes off. Er...OK. ?? Blake summons Joseph to the breakfast room and tells him to instruct the driver to pick up Andy from the airport and deliver him to the mansion. Fallon sweeps into the room and expresses her condolences to Blake about the baby, then apologizes for not being at the hospital. She fibs and tells him she was at the movies (must have been the late late show) and promises to buy flowers and drop by the hospital to express her fake sympathy to her stepmother. Blake cautions her not to be her usual bitchy self when she visits Krystle, 'cause she's bound to be extra sad when she finds out she can't have any more children. Steven and two of Sammy Jo's yokel friends are racing their cars around a track...and they're doing this without helmets (or probably seatbelts). Sammy Jo and the rest of her friends are cheering the drivers on, and the race goes on for what seems like a looong time. The yokel who called Steven a turkey at the house party calls him a turkey again, and then the other yokel rear ends him. Steven finally ends the torture that is this car race when he abruptly comes to a stop after nearly wiping out. Sammy Jo wobbles over to him in her Candies and hotpants to make sure he's OK. He climbs out of the car and starts rambling about how he loves this race track, loves car racing, and loves her. Say what? The two start smooching...and eventually the two yokels pull up beside them and ask whaddup with Steven getting kisses after he lost the race. Sammy Jo ignores their teasing and asks Steven if there's someplace private they can go to get it on.
Steven takes Sammy Jo to his lake cabin. He gets the fireplace going, and Sammy Jo sashays into the room and removes her Candies. The two start kissing intensely - but a few seconds into it, he gently pushes her away. She asks him what's wrong, and he stares back at her with his trademark I'm-so-confused-and-tortured-all-the-time expression and says he shouldn't have brought her here. She reminds him that he declared his love for her - like an hour ago, and he replies, "But I'm not in love with you, Sammy Jo." He tells her he doesn't want to hurt her, then says he wouldn't want Krystle to get the idea that he's taking advantage of her niece. Well that's just fickle and lame. Alexis enters the study where Blake has just poured himself a cup of coffee. She extends her condolences about the lost baby, and he thanks her and tells her that Krystle is doing much better today. She informs him that something happened with Steven while he was in Vegas...and by happened, she means she caught him and Sammy Jo in bed together (sort of). Blake scrunches his face with a funny mixture of relief and disapproval, then asks her if she confronted Steven about it. She says she did and that he claimed nothing happened, and so Blake shrugs and says there's nothing more to be done about the matter. Alexis says she doesn't want their son cavorting with "that particular girl", and Blake testily replies, "You mean my wife's niece?" Alexis wisely backpedals and says it's not like Krystle had anything to do with her white trash niece's upbringing...but insists that the girl and her "uncouth ways" bug her. She contends that Sammy Jo would make no kind of wife for Steven or a mother to their children, and Blake chuckles and tells her she's kind of leaping to some pretty radical conclusions. Alexis reminds him about their son's gayness and says, "I've known young men who have decided that homosexuality isn't their lifestyle after all. So they decide to settle down and marry." Unfortunately, however, some of these straight-gay men end up marrying the wrong woman - like the first tart they pick up in a bar. Egads! Blake promises to talk to Steven about his future marriage prospects, and Alexis thanks him. She then switches gears and tells him that she bought a little present for the now deceased baby and would like to remove it from the master bedroom so that Krystle doesn't see it when she returns home, and Blake gives her his permission to go upstairs and retrieve it. Claudia has just finished a swim...and as she climbs out of the pool, Nick appears from out of nowhere and starts clapping at her. He reminds her that she missed their therapy session, and she just shrugs and says she felt like a swim instead. He asks her if she's still planning on hitting up Blake for a job, and she tells him yes...and then he brings up her missing husband and daughter and asks her what she keeps running from, so she starts grumbling about her history of talking to psychiatrists and how tired she is of it. Probably about as tired as I am of listening to their nonsensical conversations. She says she hates Matthew for absconding with their child, and then she and Nick bicker about something, blah blah...and a few seconds later, she storms off in the direction of the mansion. The doctor checks Krystle's vitals and makes a notation on her chart. She asks him when she can start trying for another baby (ew) and the doctor says they should put off that conversation for the time being. She's all, "Wha-a?!" and demands to know what he's hiding from her, and he just stares at her mutely while she bursts into tears. Alexis is in the master bedroom, spraying some of Krystle's perfume on herself. Joseph catches her and demands to know what she's doing, and she snarks back that he should have better things to do than skulk around the mansion...and also that he should address her as Mrs. Carrington. He ignores that edict and reminds her that this is no longer her bedroom, so she explains that she was removing the baby present she brought by earlier, then says it's such a pity about the miscarriage. He glares at her skeptically, so she needlessly reminds him that she gave birth to two healthy children (plus the two that come out of the woodwork later in the series), and says that it's prolly 'cause she's a very strong person...unlike Krystle, who's clearly too much of a weakling to carry a child to term. Andy arrives at the mansion and tells Blake that the State Department is refusing to help him get back his oil from the Middle East. He grumbles, "That maniac out there will not release the tankers." Blake asks who this maniac - this Rashid Ahmed - is, and Andy says that according to rumor, he's the man behind the military coup. Blake complains that Denver-Carrington is paying a fortune for the lease of those tankers, and he's worried that his company is going to bankrupt over this Middle Eastern clusterfuck. Alexis descends the grand staircase and walks past the study, then pauses when she hears Blake and Andy talking. She hears Blake say that they have to find a way to get to Rashid Ahmed, since he's the one who has control over his oil...and then Andy says he has no idea how to find this shadowy character. Alexis suddenly smiles to herself...which I'll take to mean that she has an idea how he can be found. Steven and Sammy Jo return to the mansion in his yellow pickup. Sammy Jo is miffed that he didn't say a word to her during the 45 minute drive home, and he just shrugs and tells her he's beat. She asks him if he's suddenly not into her 'cause she told him she's been with other boys, but he says no...and that there's no need to be ashamed of her slutty past. He calls her a sweet girl, then tells her that whoever she ends up with will be one lucky guy. Mmm...not so much, as it turns out. Alexis is back in her studio, on the phone with an old friend. She tells her friend that she needs a favor - namely, how can she get in touch with their old pal, Rashid Ahmed. (!) Steven drops in on Claudia and tells her he spent the night with someone, and that he was all ready to doink her...but then he stopped himself 'cause he couldn't stop thinking about her and how he wished she had been with him instead. Claudia coldly replies, "Is that it?" and Steven looks puzzled and says he wants her to divorce her absent husband so he can marry her. She tells him that that's crazy - well, d'yuh - and that he should find himself someone who's "young, fresh, and healthy" (and, let's face it, male). He insists, "But that's you!" so she argues that she's old, stale, and unwell. She then says she can't possibly marry him 'cause she's still in love with Matthew, and Steven puts on his confused/sad/tortured expression again and leaves the room. I'll assume that Claudia was either fibbing to Nick about hating Matthew or fibbing to Steven about loving Matthew...or that she's suddenly developed early-onset Alzheimer's and has no memory anymore of what she's saying to anyone.
Steven glumly returns to his room and finds Blake waiting for him. Blake asks him if he was with Sammy Jo all night, then makes it clear that he approves of the hookup 'cause she's nice, pretty, and his wife's flesh and blood. That said, he explains to his straight-gay son that it may not be the best idea to plunge into the first relationship that comes along, and Steven gets irked and reminds his father that he's an adult and tells him to get off his back about his relationships. He snaps, "Save your fatherly concern for your new son." Blake grimaces and tells him that Krystle suffered a miscarriage, so he's the only son he's ever going to have. Except for Adam, his long-lost son who crawls out from under a rock during Season 3. Nick is visiting Krystle, but she's just staring at the wall despondently. He tells her not to give up on everything, but she just snarls at him to leave her alone. She's bummed because she can't ever give Blake a child, and Nick tells her that no one is guaranteed against suffering and then chides her for feeling sorry for herself. This prompts Krystle to start sobbing, and Nick says, "That's right...cry. But dear God, don't cry for him!!" LOL. Fallon arrives at the hospital for her obligatory visit with Krystle. She runs into Nick in the hall and is pleased to see him. Nick, however, acts all casual about their bump-into and tells her that last night was "an unexpected pleasure" and makes it clear that the next time they hook up, it'll be on his timetable. Fallon scrunches her face in annoyance and tells him she suddenly feels shabby, like she's a page in his appointment book. She snidely asks him if Krystle is another such page, and he doesn't answer and saunters off down the hall. That was kind of a weird way to end the episode. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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