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The Facts of Life

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The Facts of Life homepage  >  Season 5

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Episodes 1 & 2: "Brave New World" (recap)
Original airdate: 9/21/1983

Mrs. Garrett quits her job at Eastland to open a gourmet food shop...and hires Jo, Natalie, and Tootie to be her live-in employees.

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Episode 3: "Gamma Gamma" (recap)
Original airdate: 9/28/1983

Mrs. Garrett gets miffed when Blair fires her from her first catering gig.

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Episode 4: "Just My Bill" (recap)
Original airdate: 10/12/1983

Jo gets irked at her new beau when she learns that he comes from a wealthy family.

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Episode 5: "What Price Glory?" (recap)
Original airdate: 10/19/1983

Tootie is troubled when she learns that her new boyfriend is illiterate.

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Episode 6: "The Halloween Show" (recap)
Original airdate: 10/26/1983

The Facts gals are "terrified" when they suspect Mrs. Garrett of slaughtering an old man and using his ground up flesh to make bratwursts.

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Episode 7: "Advanced Placement" (recap)
Original airdate: 11/02/1983

Natalie earns a spot in Langley College's advanced placement program...and acts haughty and insufferable for the remainder of the episode.

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Episode 8: "I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can" (recap)
Original airdate: 11/9/1983

Blair is aghast when she learns that her new boyfriend is an exotic dancer.

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Episode 9: "Small But Dangerous" (recap)
Original airdate: 11/16/1983

The Facts gals and Mrs. Garrett are tormented by a seemingly tough street kid named Kelly.

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Episode 10: "Store Games" (recap)
Original airdate: 11/30/1983

Mrs. Garrett and the gals are alarmed when they start losing their customers to a competitor: Pete's Deli.

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Episode 11: "The Second Time Around" (recap)
Original airdate: 12/14/1983

Jo wigs out when she has to face the reality that her parents are not getting remarried.

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Episode 12: "The Christmas Show" (recap)
Original airdate: 12/21/1983

Blair's plan to secretly give Jo a monetary Christmas gift backfires...and their non-hetero vibe continues to simmer.

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Episode 13: "The Chain Letter" (recap)
Original airdate: 12/28/1983

Mrs. Garrett fires the Facts gals for their general ineptitude after she gets in trouble with the Board of Health.


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Episode 14: "Next Door" (recap)
Original airdate: 1/4/1984

Tootie acts like a sanctimonious turd when she helps evacuate a vulnerable latchkey kid.

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Episode 15: "Crossing the Line" (recap)
Original airdate: 1/11/1984

Tootie gets miffed when her cousin and Natalie venture into interracial dating territory.

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Episode 16: "All or Nothing" (recap)
Original airdate: 1/18/1984

​Jo is appointed to Langley College's board of regents and lets the power go to her head.

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Episode 17: "A Death in the Family" (recap)
Original airdate: 2/1/1984

Natalie copes with the sudden loss of her father in this very morose Facts installment.

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Episode 18: "Big Fish/Little Fish" (recap)
Original airdate: 2/8/1984

Blair gets miffed when Jo's popularity at Langley College begins to eclipse hers. Natalie continues to mourn her father.

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Episode 19: "Star at Langley" (recap)
Original airdate: 2/15/1984

​Blair gets jealous when a glamorous movie star enrolls at Langley and gets flirty with Cliff.

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Episode 20: "Dream Marriage" (recap)
Original airdate: 2/22/1984

After Cliff proposes, Blair dreams of what her life will be like in the year 2000...and pretty much gets every prediction about life in 2000 wrong.

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Episode 21: "Mother and Daughter" (recap)
Original airdate: 2/29/1984

​Tootie spends the episode butting heads with her opinionated mother.

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Episode 22: "All By Herself" (recap)
Original airdate: 3/14/1984

Geri gets pissy at Blair for overstepping her responsibilities during the planning of a charity auction.

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Episode 23: "Seems Like Old Times" (recap)
Original airdate: 3/21/1984

Jo's ex-flame Eddie returns to Peekskill and harbors a deal-breaking secret.

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Episode 24: "Joint Custody" (recap)
Original airdate: 5/2/1984

Mrs. Garrett is alarmed when her son and daughter-in-law look like they're heading for divorce...and a subsequent division of their assets which include Edna's Edibles.

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Episodes 25 & 26: "The Way We Were" (recap)
Original airdate: 5/9/1984

Season 5 comes to a lazy end with the writers phoning it in by doing little more than featuring a series of superfluous flashbacks from Seasons 1-4.
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