Recap: The Facts gals (minus Blair) are slogging away in Edna's Edibles, their new home-workplace. Jo grumpishly tells Mrs. Garrett that the store is still in the red, then suggests various ways in which they could cut corners and save cash. Blair and her newest college friend Boots St. Clair, the snooty president of Langley's Gamma Gamma sorority who calls Blair Warnsey, breeze into the store. Blair introduces her to Mrs. Garrett and calls her a caterer extraordinaire...and when Boots says that the caterer that they hired for tomorrow night's rush party just went out of business, Mrs. Garrett visibly perks up. Jo accepts the gig on behalf of Edna's Edibles and negotiates a fee of $300, which Boots happily accepts. After Blair gushes about what an amazing feast Mrs. Garrett is sure to prepare, Boots announces that the election of new sorority members will take place immediately after everyone's chowed down on Mrs. Garrett's food. She tells Blair she's sure to be a shoo-in - but then pauses for a few seconds and reminds her that it only takes one vote to keep her from being elected into the sorority. Egads! After Boots flounces out of the store, Mrs. Garrett shriekily thanks Blair for recommending her for the catering job and says she hopes it will lead to more business from sororities and fraternities. Blair remarks that her mother and grandmother were members of Gamma Gamma and that she can't wait to move into the sorority house. Apparently, the dorm is no longer livable 'cause one of the girls on her floor is constantly playing the soundtrack to Conan the Barbarian...which seems like a very strange music choice, but OK.
Later, Mrs. Garrett and her Facts gal helpers are busily making giant plates of Mexican food for the rush party. Blair drops by to see whassup and is aghast that Mrs. Garrett made the executive decision to go with Mexican food, and informs her that the Gamma Gammas want Chinese food for the party. Mrs. Garrett snarkishly says she's been at food-making a long time - but Blair bitchily points out that she's been a dietitian for a long time, not a caterer. True enough, but it remains unclear why neither of them thought to discuss the menu, given the tight timeline of this party. Blair wails, "How could you do this to meeeee?!" ... and after she and Mrs. Garrett bicker back and forth for several tedious minutes, she snaps, "You're fired!" and Mrs. Garrett storms out of the room. Tootie, Natalie, and Jo glare daggers at Blair, who explains that sometimes you have to "get tough with labor". Tootie snarks that if she doesn't find a way to make up with Mrs. Garrett, there will never be peace among the four of them. Blair's all, "Ack!" and says she'd be willing to apologize if Mrs. Garrett agrees to hop to it and whip up a big batch of Chinese food, like asap. Tootie offers to mediate the situation and scampers out of the room to talk to Mrs. Garrett.
Tootie implores Mrs. Garrett to talk to Blair and see things from her perspective - but Mrs. Garrett just barks, "I have feelings too!" and stomps upstairs. Tootie returns to the store...and when the Facts gals stare at her expectantly, she fibs and tells them that their talk went A-OK, and right now Mrs. Garrett is looking over recipes for Chinese food. Blair says she should probably go thank her - but Tootie blocks her and cagily says she'll pass along her thank you. Blair senses nothing amiss with that and flounces out of the store...and once she's out of earshot, Tootie admits to Natalie and Jo that she totally screwed the pooch at mediating the situation. Shocker. This means that the three of them will have to cater the rush party themselves...and Jo's all, "Wha-a-a?" and says she highly doubts they can successfully pull this off.
Over at the Gamma Gamma sorority house, the Facts gals are putting out the Chinese food they prepared, then recount for the audience all the weird ingredients they had to substitute for the stuff that wasn't readily available in the Edna's Edibles kitchen. Boots arrives with the sorority gals and credits Blair for providing them with a caterer at the last minute, then says she's looking forward to chowing down on the tasty looking feast. As everyone mills around the food table, Mrs. Garrett bursts in and shrieks at Jo, Natalie, and Tootie for catering this event while using her name and reputation. She wails that she's here to protect her business and informs Blair she had nothing to do with catering this party - just as Boots makes an eww face and tells Blair that the food is shitty with a capital S. Mrs. Garrett aborts her original purpose in bursting in on the party and haughtily retorts that this menu went over pretty well at the last Calvin Klein party she catered, and Boots easily buys her fib and looks impressed. The other sorority sisters also look impressed and decide that the food probably isn't so bad after all.
Back at the residence part of the Edna's Edibles building, the Facts gals are patting themselves on the back for pulling off a successful (though not really) faux Chinese feast. Blair thanks Mrs. Garrett for pretending to be a successful caterer to a world famous designer and says if she makes it into Gamma Gamma, she'll owe her one. Mrs. Garrett says she didn't like lying to Boots, but admits to Blair that she probably should have consulted with her about the menu before randomly deciding to make Mexican food, which...well, d'yuh. Blair concedes that she behaved like a spoiled child when she fired her, and the two hug it out. A few seconds later, Boots breezes in and gives Blair the good news: she's been elected to join Gamma Gamma. Hurray! Blair asks her if it was 'cause of the excellent catering that she was able to arrange at the last minute - but Boots says she was voted in in spite of the shittastic feast - but then reveals that there was never any way he wouldn't have been voted into the sorority 'cause she's a legacy. Blair's all, "Wuh?" and says she's deeply annoyed that she was led to believe it wasn't a sure thing - but Boots just cackles and struts out.
Blair grumbles about the Gamma Gamma girls tricking her into worrying about whether or not she was going to get into the sorority, but Mrs. Garrett just shrugs and says it's all part of the Greek life tradition. Blair says she now thinks the Gamma Gammas are shallow twats, and that she's starting to call into question if she really wants to live with a pack of airheads...which puts her in a contrived bind now that her dorm room situation has become an intolerable homage to Conan the Barbarian music. Mrs. Garrett says she could always help restore the show's winning formula and move into Edna's Edibles so that she can go back to living under the same roof with her and the other three Facts gals. She then gets all fake solemn and says that before that can happen they'll have to conduct an election...and Natalie, Tootie and a "reluctant" Jo all give her a happy thumbs up.
Yippee! The gang's together again.
'80s social issues: prepare to be tackled in twenty-two minute increments.
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