Recap: Tootie is packed and ready to ship off to her summer stock gig. She haughtily tells Natalie she'll be far too busy to keep in touch with her during the summer 'cause she'll be spending every waking moment working behind the scenes of the production and "learning from the best". Plus, she's reuniting with her ex-boyfriend Jeff, who - now that he's learned how to read - received a grant to study marine biology all summer. She then gets extremely emotional as she bids the Facts gals adieu, and waxes on about how lucky she is to have so many besties...and once she's out of earshot, Natalie woots happily about having her own bedroom for the next three months. LOL.

Beverly Ann tells Blair she's soooo lucky to be spending her summer in Europe, but Blair just kind of shrugs and says it's "the same old thing" every time she summers across the pond, and that right now she's far more interested in learning how she did on the LSAT. Andy, meanwhile, seems less than thrilled about his/Beverly Ann's Winnebago journey to explore flowers and leaves, a sentiment that Beverly Ann somehow seems completely oblivious to. Jo, who's about to head out to a job interview, enters the room decked out in a quasi-dressy top and skirt, but also grungy looking sneakers and socks. A horrified Blair urges her to put on some decent footwear and hands her $50 to buy a pair of pumps, and Jo perks up at the freebie and readily accepts the cash. After Blair leaves the room, a chuckling Jo tells Beverly Ann she actually put a pair of pumps in her briefcase to change into just before the interview. 

Andy enters the store with his friend Jeremy, who lets it slip to Beverly Ann that Andy is not at all looking forward to their Winnebago vacation. Andy sheepishly explains to Beverly Ann that Jeremy invited him to stay with his family at their lake house this summer, and Beverly Ann says tells him she's A-OK with postponing their 'flowers and leaves trip' to the fall.

Later, when Jo returns home from her interview, Blair excitedly asks to see the shoes she bought...then is all 'the hell?' when she realizes that Jo had actually brought along her own pumps to wear during the interview. She irritably tells Jo she wants her money back, but Jo's like, "No can do" 'cause she used the $50 to buy herself a new pair of sneakers - but promises to pay her back as soon as she gets her first pay check. She then tells Blair that the interview went great, that she's optimistic about the job, and that the guy (Eric) who's in charge of the division seems like a very nice person. Blair grins knowingly and says she's impressed with Jo using her "mediocre feminine wiles" to get the job, but Jo insists that the interview was "all business".

Natalie returns home and announces that she abruptly quit her taco restaurant job 'cause her boss wouldn't let her reduce her hours so that she could attend summer school...then explains that she enrolled in a creative writing course at Langley College. A few seconds later, Jo gets a call from Eric to offer her the job she just interviewed for - which, incidentally, is a developer position to create computer programs for elementary schools.

Days later, Jo returns home from work, gathers the mail, and bellows to Blair that her LSAT score has arrived. When Blair can't bring herself to open the envelop, Jo tears it open and tells her she got a 42. Blair's face falls as she explains that 42 is the minimum score she needs to qualify for law school admittance...and moans about how ordinary she suddenly feels, waaah.

Jo's boss Eric drops by to tell her that he quit his job today 'cause 1) he thinks his boss is "a pea brain", and 2) he intends to start his own company. He tells Jo he'd looooove to poach her 'cause he really respects her talent, then drops the bomb that his new company would be based in Los Angeles. Jo responds by staring back at him mutely.

Jo tells Blair about the job opportunity in Los Angeles, and Blair urges her to spread her wings and go to L.A. Jo glumly says it's not so simple for her to make such a big life decision, so Blair describes the kind of tie-breaking process she generally uses when having to make an important choice..

• if the phone rings in the next ten seconds, go to L.A.
• if the next person who enters the room is wearing anything blue, go to L.A.

A few seconds later, Natalie bursts into the room (not wearing blue) ... and when Blair asks her if she's wearing blue underwear, Natalie exasperatedly tells her to just flip a coin like a normal person. LOL. She then tells Jo and Blair that she's miffed at her professor for giving her a C- on her creative writing assignment, which she criticized as being wordy. She wonders aloud if maybe she made a mistake quitting Señor Sombrero's, but then decides to do a rewrite before doing anything rash. 

Jeremy shows Andy how to bait a hook, then tells him that when they're up at the lake house this summer, they'll be forced to go on lots of 5:00am hikes, will be using an outhouse 'cause there's no indoor plumbing, and that they have to keep a close eye out for the many snakes that inhabit the area. A wigged out Andy's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and later tells Beverly Ann that he's seriously rethinking the lake house trip - but he doesn't want Jeremy to think he's a wimp for not wanting to hike at dawn, poop in an outhouse, and avoid stepping on snakes. Beverly Ann suggests they take their Winnebago trip as planned, but maybe stop by the lake house for a couple of days before continuing along their merry way. Sounds like a fantastic compromise.

The next day at breakfast, Natalie tells Jo and Beverly Ann that she just did a rewrite, thinks it's genius, and credits her professor's comments for the dramatic improvement in the quality of her piece. She then announces that she's decided to enrol at Langley full time this fall...and everyone's all, "Hurray!"

Eric drops by again to ask Jo to please please please take the job at his new company in Los Angeles, but Jo firmly says she can't leave her friends and family, who are in Peekskill (or at least Peekskill-adjacent). Eric turns his hands upside-down and uses his fingers to make it look like he has glasses on and says he's seriously begging her - but after chuckling at his clownish inanity, Jo firmly says she simply can't/won't move across the country. She assures him he'll do great with his new venture, and he shuffles dejectedly towards the door.

Blair gets a letter from Langley Law School, informing her that she's been officially accepted. As everyone cheers this improbable outcome, given that she started studying for the LSAT the day before the test, Blair rushes upstairs to call her parents with the good news...and Jo reacts to this latest development by staring despondently into space.

Jo enters the communal bedroom just as Blair finishes the phone call with her parents and bitterly mutters, "Whoopee, you're going to law school." Blair asks her if she made a decision about the L.A. job yet, and Jo glumly says she's decided to stay put in Peekskill so that the show's formula of the four of them living together ad infinitum with a housemother could extend into yet another superfluous season...and is now pissed off about making the personal sacrifice. She angrily recaps..

• Blair has law school
• Tootie has her acting
• Natalie has her writing

..then self-piteously asks, "And what do I have?" Blair's like, "Uh, your first job???" - but Jo complains that she's playing it safe and would much rather take the job in California. An exasperated [or maybe that's just me] Blair's like, "So take it!" and Jo mulls that over and says that, yep, she's going to finally give becoming an emotionally independent adult a shot.

Jo and Eric are ready to ride their motorcycles across the country...and after pretending to give Blair, Natalie, and Beverly Ann a casual 'see ya!', she returns for a tender group hug, during which everyone tearfully wishes her a safe trip.

Before the end credits roll, the words 'to be continued..' flash across the screen (%$#@!!), so brace yourselves for the final season!

​Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

Recap: Jo is sitting in front of her typewriter, agonizing over the speech she's been asked to deliver to her fellow Langley graduates on graduation day, while Blair expresses her unhappiness about Porsche no longer making red cars...then decides that instead of a new car, her graduation present from her father should be a diamond tiara.  

Beverly Ann forbids Andy to wear his snug-fitting suit for the Langley graduation ceremony 'cause he's outgrown it, and he decides 'why the hell not let my new ma buy me a new outfit if she wants?' Tootie enters the room and asks Jo what sort of monologue she should do for her all important summer stock audition - just as Natalie appears and offers to write something customized, remarking that it's best to just be herself while performing. Which seems like a strange bit of advice for an aspiring actress. After Tootie and Natalie scamper upstairs to flesh something out, Jo contemplates the prospect of just being oneself, and gets newly inspired with the graduation speech she's writing.

Blair is on the phone in the communal bedroom, ordering a diamond tiara from her favorite jeweller, and asking him to attach a Congratulations for graduating from college, princess! note she imagines that her father would write. Tootie enters the room and asks Blair if she wouldn't mind listening to her monologue performance - but when Natalie appears out of nowhere and realizes that Tootie made unauthorized changes to her writing, the two bicker about the writing/acting creative processes and then storm out of the room.

Jo bursts into the communal bedroom to rail about how she has no desire to deliver the kind of garbage speech the college administration expects of her...and that when she cobbled together a bitchy rant about Langley's ineptitude as an institution of higher learning, they unsurprisingly threatened to cancel her from the programme. Blair winces at Jo's cluelessly self-centered fuckwittedness and reminds her that graduation is generally a happy occasion during which the audience expects to hear uplifting platitudes about the bright future ahead for graduates, not a grim rehash of all that's wrong with the college they just spent four years at, paying big bucks for the privilege of earning a degree - but Jo grumpishly refuses to not use the opportunity to air every bitchy grievance she's been harbouring against Langley since her freshman year. 

Beverly Ann is altering Andy's new pants when Jo's parents arrive and gushingly hug her hello. Her mom tells her they have a special present for her - just as an older man walks through the door and hands Jo a bouquet of flowers. Jo's like, "Aw, how sweet" and offers to tip him, and the man responds by holding out his arms and cooing, "My little wnuczka!" As Jo scrunches her face confusedly, Charlie explains that this man is her grandfather who flew all the way from Poland to witness her graduation ceremony. Jo lights up as she hugs Gramps...but then quickly deflates when Gramps clarifies that he didn't travel all the from Poland just to see her graduate, but rather to hear her give her fancy college speech.  

Jo gives Gramps a tour of Over Our Heads, and he's like, "Oooh, a junk store!" [which...yep] and then gushes to Blair about how excited he is to hear Jo's big speech tomorrow. Blair pulls Jo aside to ask whassup with her not telling her grandfather that her speech has been nixed, and Jo haplessly says she's half-heartedly trying to summon the courage to break the old man's spirit. Jo's mom enters the store to gush once again about how deeply proud she is of Jo, and to inform Blair that she has a phone call.

​Jo attempts to tell Gramps about the fallout over Bitchy Speech-gate - but Blair interrupts by telling Gramps that Beverly Ann has a piece of pie with his name on it in the living room. Once he's out of hearing range, Blair breaks the news to Jo that the dean just called to ask her to step in and deliver a light-hearted graduation speech.

Blair's bickering parents arrive, but stop bickering long enough to gushily congratulate their daughter for being chosen as the senior class graduation speech-giver. Blair sheepishly explains that she was the number 2 choice when they needed a quick replacement for Jo, and Pa Warner says it might be awkward, but points out that someone has to give the speech, so it might as well be her.

Andy scampers downstairs wearing his well-tailored new suit, which he has accessorized with a pair of dirty sneakers. Tootie, meanwhile, announces that she has her summer stock audition in New York to get to...and Natalie apologizes for their argument earlier and wishes her the best of luck.

Charlie is playing the piano when Blair returns home with her dad...and Charlie gushes at Pa Warner about how their daughters are both graduating college, and how much he's looking forward to the caps, gowns, and graduation speech. Pa Warner agrees, then says he was kinda worried about the Polniaczek clan being upset that Blair was tapped to replace Jo as speech-giver. A shocked Charlie's all, "Wha-a-a?" and then confronts Jo to ask whaddup with her not informing any of them about this latest development. Jo explains that the graduation committee rejected her bitchy speech - just as Gramps enters the room. She then comes clean to him about her speech being nixed from the graduation programme because of her dicked up belief system that she should have full license to express every grumpy thought every moment she has them, and sheepishly hopes he's not too disappointed about traveling all the way from Poland just to watch her get her diploma and then sit down. Gramps applauds her courage in refusing to change her rant-laden speech to one that'd  be more appropriate for the occasion and venue, and assures her that if Grams were still alive she would have been proud. 

Gramps credits Charlie for raising such an amaaaaazing woman, and natters on and on about how people need to have values - just as Blair sweeps down the staircase wearing her new diamond tiara. LOL. Gramps waxes on and on about Jo's courage in squandering the opportunity to deliver a graduation speech, and then spits (like, literally) at whoever was asked to be her replacement and refers to that person as "a spineless coward". Blair self-identifies as that spineless coward, and a red-faced Gramps mutters, "Uh boy.."

In the communal bedroom, Jo and Blair are putting on their graduation gowns, joyously reminiscing about their arguments, laughter, and non-hetero crushing over the last six years of this wretched TV series. 

Graduation ceremony. The dean introduces Blair as the senior class speaker...and as she starts delivering her opening remarks, Tootie rushes in and excitedly announces in hushed tones to everyone that she made it into summer stock. Hurray! Blair credits her friend Jo for refusing to give a speech she doesn't believe in, then dramatically produces Jo's crumpled up notes, and starts reading from them...which includes what a tough world it is, and how Langley College does fuck all to prepare its students for the harsh realities they're destined to face in the real world. The dean's all, "The fuck?!", cuts her mic, and rushes over to ask what in blazes she thinks she's doing...so Blair smugly reminds him that she's delivering a speech in an auditorium that the Warner family paid for in a building that was heavily subsidized by the Warner family, to an audience that includes her father, Dave Warner. The dean's like, "Point taken" and meekly sits back down as Blair continues to read from Jo's bitchy notes that endlessly rail about the general fucktitude of all the bozos in charge of Langley. In her closing statement, she credits Jo for the courage to say what didn't necessarily need to be said on this particular occasion, and Gramps leaps up from his chair and bellows, "My granddaughter!" as everyone mindlessly applauds. 

Recap: Tootie and Natalie announce to everyone (sans Blair) that they found a great spa location for a fun weekend getaway...and Jo checks out the brochure and grumbles about having zero desire to sit in mud. Beverly Ann explains that the mud is used to excise the toxins from the body - but Jo insists that she's still not interested and highly doubts that Blair would be either. She then predicts that Blair will pretend to be interested in going to the spa - before she comes up with an outlandish excuse to get out of it.

A few seconds later, Blair enters the room, and the other Facts gals tell her about their weekend spa plans. Blair looks over the brochure, makes inscrutable clucking noises, but then says she can't go 'cause she'll be taking a law school admissions test on Saturday. Jo chuckles and says that this is exactly the kind of outlandish excuse she was expecting from her, but Blair insists that she really, truly, actually is planning to go to law school and didn't want to say anything before now 'cause she was afraid they'd all laugh at her for planning to work for a living. The others are all, "Wuh?" and tell her they're proud of her ambition, and Blair blushingly says she wants to make her rich family proud when she becomes the first Warner woman to earn a law degree.

Blair is in the communal bedroom, selecting an outfit in advance of a visit from Langley's Law School Dean of Admissions...'cause, sure, it's realistic that a dean would personally come to a student's house to discuss their application. Jo hands her a gift in celebration of her career decision...and when Blair unwraps it and sees that it's an LSAT study guide, she gushes about what a lovely thought it is. And that if she were planning on actually preparing for the exam, she'd totally use it. Jo stares at her incredulously and goes, "You're not studying?!", and Blair breezily says she has all the natural ability necessary to bluff her way into law school...and if that somehow proves inadequate, her rich family has the cash to buy her a spot. She nonsensically adds that it'd be unfair to all the people aspiring to attend law school if someone as privileged and rich such as herself studied and bought her way in, and Jo scrunches her face in bewilderment at that unfollowable logic and says she never quite thought about a law school entrance exam in that way.

Beverly Ann tells Andy to get packed for the spa weekend - just as Blair comes downstairs in a sharp looking blazer and skirt ensemble for her interview with the dean. She then litters the room with newspaper articles featuring her family's philanthropic gifts to Langley College, which...subtle, Blair.  

When the dean arrives, Blair gushes about how much she's been looking forward to their chat, and motions at all of the Warner family-centric newspaper articles that have been carefully strewn about the room. The dean wryly makes it clear how little a rat's ass he give 'bout any of that and reviews her law school application, noting that her grades are satisfactory, she has a full resume of extracurricular activities, and impressive recommendations from a senator and governor. As Blair blushes immodestly, the dean adds that they're just waiting on her LSAT score, which needs to be at least 42 (on a scale of 48). Blair's smug smile quickly fades as she offers him coffee, tea, funding for a new library - and he sternly warns that he doesn't take kindly to bribes, and makes clear that a student's financial status is never a consideration for admission into law school, and that a lot of students have a deep desire to attend Langley Law School who have her grades and great LSAT scores. He adds that it's fairly standard for people to study for the test at least three months in advance...and after he leaves and is out of hearing range, Blair slumps against the door and makes a tortured oooooooh noise.

Blair is on the phone, desperately searching for a crash LSAT course she can take...and Tootie overhears her conversation and makes a beeline over to the communal bedroom to report to Jo that Blair desperately needs their help. Jo magnanimously tells Tootie to enjoy her spa weekend and promises to help Blair study for the LSAT...and when Tootie exits the room, Jo grins evilly into space.

Jo tells Blair that she's going to return to LSAT book she tried to gift her, and Blair's all, "Ack!" and offers to return it for her...and the two grab the book from each other until Blair finally admits that she needs it to prepare for the entrance exam after all. She then self-piteously laments the burden of having to study alone, and Jo offers to give her a hand with that.

Jo begins the study session by reading various riddle-type questions from the LSAT book, and Blair just stares confusedly into space and doesn't make any attempt to apply her non-existent logic skills and respond.

Later, an exhausted Blair is laying face down on her bed while Jo continues to read questions from the study guide. Blair decides that she's had enough, no longer wants to attend law school, and is going to go to sleep now. Jo just shrugs and goes downstairs to watch TV.

Blair follows Jo downstairs, is all 'the fuck?', and tells her that this is the part where she's supposed to give her a pep talk. Jo rolls her eyes and offers up a few platitudes about not giving up on your dreams no matter what, and Blair scrunches her face in dissatisfaction and chides her for the weak effort. An irritated Jo then blurts out that she's a shallow, lazy nitwit who's never had to struggle for anything in her entire life...and Blair's like, "That's more like it!" - LOL - and adds that when the dean told her that her family's wealth didn't mean anything to him, it made her want to get into law school without her daddy's cash. She then blurts out the correct answer to one of the LSAT riddle-type questions Jo asked her earlier, and Jo looks impressed and decides that she's game to continue on with the all-night study session. 

The next morning, Blair returns home after taking the LSAT, and sneaks into the living room, where Jo is fast asleep on the sofa chair. Blair slips onto the couch and is pretending to be asleep when Jo wakes up, sees Blair, and panics when she assumes that she overslept and missed the LSAT - until she notices that Blair is wearing different clothes from the night before. Blair chuckles and assures her she got up in time and that the test went fairly well - but that if her score isn't high enough to get her into law school, she'll just take it again. And maybe actually study properly. Jo smiles approvingly and says, "Sounds like a plan", and asks for a heartfelt thank you for staying up all night, studying - but an exhausted Blair just closes her eyes and mumbles something incoherent as Jo tenderly covers her with a blanket. Mmm hmm..

Recap: Andy excitedly bursts into the living room to tell Beverly Ann that his favorite heavy metal band, The Walking Dead, is going to be in New York next week and he really really wants to go. Beverly Ann says, "Sure" and that she'll happily get them a couple of tickets, and Andy makes a face and says he'd much prefer to go without her, given that none of his friends are going to be supervised at the concert by their moms. A few seconds later, Tootie and Natalie enter the room...and when Andy tries to get them to help make the case as to why he should be able to see The Walking Dead without adult supervision, Tootie contorts her face in disgust and says that at a recent concert, the lead singer took off his pants and ate them, while Natalie recalls that another band member recently set fire to a bunch of shit.

Jo gabbles excitedly about her dad coming to Peekskill for a visit this episode, and Blair says she's really looking forward to seeing "the sweet guy". Beverly Ann asks what he's like, and Jo kind of shrugs and says he's just a regular guy...and that she's mostly looking forward to meeting his new gal, Marlene. A few seconds later, Charlie arrives, warmly greets all the Facts gals, and is introduced for the first time to Beverly Ann. Jo asks about Marlene's whereabouts, and he breezily says she couldn't make it, then heads over to the nearest bathroom to wash up. Once he's out of earshot, Blair clucks sympathetically and says it's written all over Charlie's face that he's just been dumped, and Jo's all, "Wuh? Nah.." Blair urges her to be a comfort to her fragile pa, but Jo insists that her dad is resilient, if indeed he has just been dumped, and is going to be just fine.

When Charlie re-enters the room, Blair tells him, "Be strong" and heads off to the store...and when a tentative Jo asks him how everything in his life is going, he correctly assumes that she figured out the truth about Marlene giving him the heave-ho. Jo says that instead of staying in a motel by himself all weekend, he's welcome to bunk in their living room, and he's like, "Great!" and rushes out to the car to get his suitcase.

Later in the communal bedroom, Blair tells Jo that Charlie is clearly depressed about the dumping, and that the best way to get over a broken relationship is to start a new one. When she offers to set him up with someone, Jo emphatically barks, "No!" and hastily exits the room. Blair then picks up the phone and calls her friend Cynthia and invites both her and her mom to a museum outing.

Andy snarks at Natalie and Tootie for kiboshing his chance to attend The Walking Dead concert and tries to guilt them into getting Beverly Ann to change her mind - but the most they're willing to do is advise him to be thoughtful, do stuff around the house, and kiss up to his adoptive ma at every opportunity. Andy mulls that over and decides 'yep, I can do that'. 

Beverly Ann returns home with a bag of groceries, and Andy rushes over to her, takes the bag and offers to put the items away. When Charlie witnesses the good deed and asks her if he's always this helpful, she explains that the kid is only sucking up to her so that she'll let him go to a concert. Charlie advises her to give in and passes along the sage advice: "sometimes you have to let go to hold kids closer". 

Cynthia and her mom (Maggie) arrive, and Blair promptly introduces the two to Charlie as Jo stares daggers at her. Blair then announces that she, Cynthia, and Maggie are off to the museum and invites Charlie along, and he says he's game...then wryly agrees with Maggie that this definitely feels like a non-subtle set-up. Blair excitedly assures Jo that Charlie and Maggie are perfect for each other, then happily dashes off.

Later, Blair tells Jo that the museum outing worked out great, and that Charlie had an awesome time with Maggie and her daughter. A few seconds later, Charlie returns home looking visibly perky and gaily tells Jo he had a super fun time. He then starts putting on a tie and announces that he's off to a French restaurant for a romantic evening...and when Blair smugly tells Jo, "I told you so", Jo is forced to admit that she did a good thing by setting Charlie up with her friend's mom.

That evening, the doorbell rings, and it's Cynthia (!) who steps inside to see what's keeping her date. Charlie grimaces and reminds her that he told her to wait in the car...and she reacts by looking completely TV trope-ishly oblivious of the awkwardness of being stared at in speechless horror by Jo and Blair. When she and Charlie head off on their date, a sheepish looking Blair nervously giggles before she and Jo race up the stairs. 

A startled Blair tells Jo that she definitely didn't see this coming - just as Tootie and Natalie enter the bedroom to ask whassup. Jo snarlingly informs them that stupid Blair stuck her nose where it didn't belong, and as a result her dad is dating someone thirty years his junior. Natalie breezily says it's only one date, while Tootie points out that every marriage starts with one date. Jo's all, "Ack!" and shakes her head while lamenting the embarrassment of having to watch her middle-aged, divorced dad hitting the town with an extremely young woman.

Later, Jo is reclining on the couch, pretending to read a magazine, when Charlie returns home from his date. He asks Jo whaddup with her strange behavior and urges her to come right out and tell him what's on her mind...so she's like, "Uh, OK" and tells him how much she haaaaates him dating Cynthia, and that he looks like a ridiculous old fool, hooking up with a woman who's literally young enough to be his daughter. Charlie angrily snaps, "How dare you talk to me like that!" and says that Cynthia makes him feel special, and that he hoped his own daughter would be happy for him. Jo falls silent and hangs her head shamefully and promises to try, and he thanks her and gives her a fatherly cheek kiss.

Andy is wearing headphones that are blasting the weird punk/heavy metal drudgery of The Walking Dead into his ears when Beverly Ann wanders over and asks him if she can have a quick listen...but after a few seconds of the noise, she contorts her face in horror and hastily gives him the headphones back. She tells him she's decided to allow him to attend the concert, regardless of how grisly the band seems, and Andy happily hugs her and scampers off to give his friends the good news.

Charlie arrives home with Cynthia after a tennis match and tells Jo and his new girlfriend to get to know each other for a minutes while he goes upstairs to change. Cynthia smugly tells Jo that she and "Chuck" are going into New York City tonight - but adds that, as far as she's concerned, they're only casually dating. Jo looks alarmed and says it's clear that her dad is serious about their budding romance, but Cynthia just shrugs and says she can't be responsible for how the old goat feels, and that since she's only twenty-three, she has plans to hook up with a lot of different guys for the foreseeable future. As Jo mulls over that troubling over-share, Charlie re-enters the room, and he and his gal pal leave.

Beverly Ann tells Jo that she let Andy go to The Walking Dead concert...but arranged for Tootie, Natalie, and Blair to go incognito and keep an eye on him.

Later, Andy returns home with his hair gelled and dyed with multiple colors and a tiny skeleton hanging off one ear. He raves about what a great time he had at the concert - just as a shell-shocked Tootie, Natalie, and Blair return home and stiffly say that "the movie" they went to see was extremely loud and psychologically disturbing. Andy chuckles and tells Beverly Ann it doesn't look like they enjoyed The Walking Dead's performance much...and when she stares back at him in shocked sheepishness, he makes it clear that he doesn't mind having been secretly chaperoned by three Facts gals.

Charlie returns home from his date and informs Jo that he finally came to his senses and broke things off with Cynthia, and now knows that if he wants to hang with someone thirty years younger, he can spend time with his actual daughter. He adds that he came to the realization that he'd much prefer to date "an old broad" who's at more of a similar stage of life as he is, and Jo chuckles and assures him that he's still the hippest guy in town...and when he mutters something incoherent about Cynthia and a skeleton earring, the episode comes to an odd, abrupt end.

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Recap: While sitting around the breakfast table, Jo leafs through A Big Book of Career Choices and says that since the graduation episode is just around the corner, she's going to have to figure out what to do with the rest of her life [which is probably a wise idea after four years of an expensive post-secondary education]. She mentions that a computer analyst can make as much as $26,500 (!), and Blair gives her a seriously? look and says if she's satisfied with earning that kind of pittance, she may as well join the Peace Corps. A few seconds later, the doorbell rings, and the stranger - who's played by the Eight is Enough dad - introduces himself as Beverly Ann's ex-husband, Frank Stickle. As the Facts gals exchange holy shit! glances, Frank correctly assumes that they've been made fully aware of the intensity with which Beverly Ann loathes him. He asks them to tell Beverly Ann he dropped by...and is about to leave when she suddenly returns home after bicycling with Andy and Oliver. She's all, "The fuck?" at the sight of her ex...and when he asks her if they can speak privately, she reluctantly agrees to postpone her lunch date with Oliver.

Frank starts tapping his fingers on the end table, and Beverly Ann irritably remarks that he still has that annoying habit. She then passively-aggressively asks how The Trollop is doing, and Frank argues that Trixie was no trollop - but that it's a moot point 'cause they're no longer hitting the sheets. He swiftly changes the subject and says he dropped by their house the other day, and that it fully sank in that they no longer live there as a married couple. He reminisces about how happy they both were there, says he really really wants to be happy again, and is eager to make a fresh start. Beverly Ann perks up at that easy-to-misinterpret revelation and warmly touches his hand.

​Jo wanders into the room carrying a plate with a muffin on it, and Beverly Ann leaps up and decides she needs to help Jo carry her muffin into the store part of the building. She then babbles at the Facts gals that she's pretty sure Frank wants to get back together. Blair bursts out giggling and asks why he'd want to reunite with the woman he recently dumped - LOL - and Beverly Ann haughtily says that Frank can't just expect to just waltz back into her life after so callous a dumping...and as she's saying this, she's primping in front of a compact mirror, brushing a layer of blush onto her cheeks.

Beverly Ann returns to the living room and tells Frank he should come right out and ask her what he came to ask her - but before he can utter anything, he clutches his chest and tells her to call an ambulance.

Beverly Ann and the Facts gals are nervously sitting in the hospital's waiting room, and Jo looks visibly uncomfortable with all the sights and smells, and soon rushes outside to get some air. An attractive, middle-aged blonde woman ambles over to ask if any of them has change for the pay phone, and Beverly Ann gives her a quarter...then seats herself beside Andy and assures him that Frank will like him and make a fabulous stepfather.

A doctor and nurse wheel a gurney covered with a sheet and leave it standing in the hallway for a few seconds. Jo gets icked out when she assumes it's a dead body - but then is pleasantly surprised when the doctor rips off the sheet and reveals several trays of yummy looking snacks...which I doubt is how food ever gets transported around a hospital. 

Beverly Ann assumes that Frank must have known he was sick and wanted to reunite with her before it was too late. She then vows to get him to exercise more, watch his diet, and spend time at a health spa every now and then. Andy looks visibly bummed at the prospect of the two remarrying, but Beverly Ann assures him that they (along with the Facts gals) are family no matter what. 

The doctor who treated Frank exits the exam room and asks for Mrs. Stickle...and Beverly Ann and the woman she gave a quarter to rush over and anxiously reply, "Yes?" The two women then stare at each other in confusion, and the blonde lady identifies herself as Frank's wife (Noreen) while Beverly Ann's all, "Wha-at is going onnnn?" After the commercial break, the doctor tells both women that Frank is OK after suffering a minor gas attack...and then the current Mrs. Stickle goes into the exam room to look in on her gassy husband.

The Facts gals rally around a stunned Beverly Ann, and Blair wankingly assures her she's way prettier, nicer and smarter than Noreen. A few seconds later, Noreen exits the exam room to tell Beverly Ann that Frank would like to see her, explains that he has a very sensitive stomach (hence the gas attack), and that, since they're newlyweds, they don't spend much time in the kitchen making home cooked meals.
Mmm hmm... And ew.

Frank sheepishly informs Beverly Ann that he recently got remarried, is surprised that his chest pains turned out to be nothing more than stomach gas, and that he had dropped by her place earlier 'cause he wants her to agree to sell their marital home. He adds that the tenants have made him a good offer - but Beverly Ann makes it clear that she's feeling so vengeful about him marrying someone else that she's going to flatly refuse to sell. 

While canoodling on the couch together, Beverly Ann tells Oliver that Frank always made all the decisions in their marriage, and that this time she wants to be the decider. Oliver asks why in the hell she'd want to torture herself by holding onto that house, then tells her the story of his car Bessie, which he couldn't bring himself to sell after he split with his wife...then later realized that he was needlessly holding onto the past. Eventually he sold it and bought a Pinto (that hopefully didn't explode while he was driving it), and Beverly Ann makes it clear that she didn't much appreciate his story about moving on from a defunct relationship and coldly says they're not relating very well to each other. He shrugs and says he'll let her work through this contrived conundrum on her own and to call him if/when she decides to let common sense prevail. 

Over in the store, Jo is once again gabbling to the rest of the Facts gals about her boundless career options when Beverly Ann enters the room. She apologizes for interrupting the conversation and urges them to continue talking about whatever it was they were talking about, so Jo resumes nattering about how there are sooooo many career possibilities in life for a college graduate such as herself, and that she has lots and lots of choices. Beverly Ann shoots her the stink-eye and says, "Nice try, Jo" and accuses her of pretending to talk about her future when what she's really doing is talking in subtext about the house-selling/not selling situation with herself and Frank. 

The Facts gals are like, "Nope, Jo really is just trying to figure out her life", and Tootie assures Beverly Ann that they're not doing whatever it is that she thinks they're doing. Beverly Ann challenges her to look her in the eye and tell her that, and Tootie looks her in the eye and says she truly has no earthly idea what in blazes she's accusing them of. Jo adds that they weren't trying to subtly give her any life advice, and Beverly Ann decides that she should probably see Frank in person a third time...and begs Jo to accompany her to the hospital.

Back at the hospital, Beverly Ann tip-toes into Frank's room, while Jo sees a sheet-covered gurney and assumes it's trays of snacks - but when she peeks under the sheet, she's all, "Ack!" when the motionless lump turns out to be a dead body. Womp womp!

As Beverly Ann watches Frank sleep, she mutters that she should have just left him a note, aka the way he dumped her...and reveals that she carries around the 'I'm leaving you' letter that he gave her when he abruptly ended their marriage - which seems alarmingly pathetic - and pulls it out of her purse and reads it aloud. A few seconds later, Noreen enters the room, tells Beverly Ann she's surprised to see her back here, and warmly says they'd probably be friends if they'd met under different circumstances. A few seconds later, Frank wakes up with the two women hovering over him, and Beverly Ann tells him it finally dawned on her that she no longer needs to hold onto the past when she has a lot going for her nowadays: Andy, Oliver, housemothering the grown Facts gals. She then agrees to sell the house...and a relieved Frank starts tapping his fingers along the side of the bed. When Beverly Ann flinches and asks Noreen if that doesn't drive her completely crazy, Noreen just stares back at her obliviously and goes, "What?" ... and Beverly Ann smiles to herself, tells the two to have a nice marriage, and beats a hasty retreat.  

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Recap: Jo returns home from a day at Langley and announces that she's been appointed the new editor-in-chief of the college's senior yearbook. Beverly Ann dreamily stares into space and reminisces about how young and fresh she looked in her college yearbook...and before she can launch into a long-winded story about how it was that she came to look so young and fresh during her college years, Jo beats a hasty retreat to go write captions for each graduating senior.

Blair arrives with her new ventriloquist friend: Jay Johnson and his sassy puppet-boy, Sam. After gratuitously showcasing his ventriloquist skills for a few minutes, a glum Andy enters the store and glares moodily at Sam. Beverly Ann asks him if everything's OK, and he snaps, "Fine" - but a few seconds later, Sam draws attention to the fact that Andy is stealing cash from the Over Our Heads money box. Andy reacts by looking sheepishly horrified at being caught in the act of committing the brazen theft, which for some reason, he thought was a good idea to do while in full view of Beverly Ann, all four Facts gals, and a ventriloquist and his snitch puppet.

In the next scene, Andy is sitting on the couch, broodily staring into space as Beverly Ann and the Facts gals are all, "WTF is up with you stealing from us?" Beverly Ann assumes that something must be terribly wrong to drive him to do such a heinous thing, so Andy fibs that he's being bullied/blackmailed by a guy who has photos of him cavorting with a couple of hot twins. Tootie gruffly orders him to cut the shit 'cause they deserve some honesty, so he admits the real reason for his crime: his foster parents are splitting up, which means he's getting shipped back to the group home to await adoption. He adds that he has no intention of actually going back there and plans to run away...which is why he stole their money (with the half-hearted intention of paying them back once he reaches adulthood). Beverly Ann tries to lift his spirits by pointing out that the child welfare agency will surely place him with a new family, but Andy complains that he's sooooo sick of being shuttled from home to home, and is under no illusion that any couple would want to formally adopt a cheeky jackanapes who can't seem to make friends his own age. Beverly Ann's like, "Can't argue with you there", and offers to call his foster family to let them know he'll be staying with them for the next few days.

Later, Beverly Ann makes up a bed for Andy on the living room couch and offers to tuck him in, but he declines 'cause 1) he's not five, and 2) doesn't want to get used to that type of maternal kindness. He then leaps off the couch to go pee - just as the Facts gals enter the room and tell Beverly Ann they've decided that they want to be Andy's new foster family. Natalie describes how they can each rotate their time to take the imp on various types of outings - but Beverly Ann points out that since Blair and Jo are graduating from college soon, they might soon decide 'enough already with the four of us living under the same roof with a housemother replacement' and finally - finally! - go their separate ways and live life as emotionally independent adults. She says that what Andy needs is a devoted parent who can look after him permanently...then looks as though she just stumbled upon a brilliant idea when she adds, "Like me, for instance." When Andy returns from the bathroom, she kneels at his couch bedside to humbly declare her love for him and that she wants to adopt him...and when he's like, "You do?", she earnestly replies, "With all my heart" and gives him a motherly hug as the four Facts gals look on with heartfelt approval.

Beverly Ann announces that she has contacted the child welfare agency, and, in the meantime, is slogging her way through the mountainous paperwork. Andy, meanwhile, is shovelling sugar into his bowl of cereal and ignoring Beverly Ann's suggestion that he brush his teeth before going to school. When Natalie gets ready to head off to her dead end restaurant job, Beverly Ann laments how awkward things have suddenly gotten between herself and Andy...so Natalie reminds her that she too was adopted and advises Beverly Ann to just dive right into the job of parenting the urchin. Beverly Ann frets about doing a good job, but insists that she's A-OK about making this ginormous change in her life 'cause of how much she looooves Andy.

Blair has a sock puppet on one hand as she practices her ventriloquist skills, and an irritated Jo tells her to go away 'cause she's busy writing yearbook captions for all the graduating Langley seniors. Blair takes a look at the photo of herself that Jo has selected for publication, deems it less than spectacular, and begs Jo to replace it with a better one - but Jo's just like, "Go away" and denies her request.

Tootie tells Blair she likes having Andy around (like, more than usual), and Blair concurs and says she hates the thought of him being sent to a shitty group home. She then gazes at her sock puppet and begins singing Tomorrow.

Beverly Ann returns home and worriedly says that Andy wasn't at the school when she went to pick him up...and a few seconds later, he saunters into the room. She asks him where he's been all afternoon and what he was doing and with whom, and he offers no details, except to cryptically tell her he was "doing stuff" with "some guys". After Beverly Ann rushes off to get Andy the junk food dinner he requested, Tootie admonishes him for acting like a spoiled brat who could be throwing away the chance to have a permanent ma. Andy guffaws and says he doesn't believe that'll actually happen, not least 'cause every time he's been up for adoption something invariably goes wrong. Tootie insists that this time things will work out - but when she's pressed by Andy to make her swear that she can guarantee that, she falls silent.

Beverly Ann is nervously pacing the living room in advance of the social worker's visit when Jay Johnson drops by to bring Blair a Jo look-alike puppet with which she can torment her non-hetero crush. Blair uses her ventriloquist skills to mimic Jo and then blackmail her into using a more flattering yearbook photo in exchange for not performing this puppet act in front of the student union..and Jo's like, "Deal."

The social worker, Dorothy Newell, arrives to assess Andy's prospective ma and living arrangement. She's unimpressed to learn that the residence houses four adult women living together as roommates, and that Beverly Ann is a divorced, un-remarried woman. She excuses Andy from the room...and once he's out of hearing range, she tells Beverly Ann she highly doubts that this adoption is going to work out. The Facts gals are all, "Whoa lady!" and do their best to praise Beverly Ann and give testimonial as to what a great parent she'd make. A few seconds later, Andy scampers down the stairs and says he's off to hang out elsewhere...and that since she probably won't be allowed to adopt him, he really doesn't give a rat's ass that he hasn't yet finished his homework. Beverly Ann gets visibly irked and makes it clear that, regardless of the outcome of this assessment, he's to get his tiny hiney back upstairs to finish his homework...and when he hangs his head in shame and squeaks, "Yes ma'am",  Dorothy Newell looks impressed at Beverly Ann's tough love parenting approach and promises to reverse the opinion she had less than a minute ago and write up a strong recommendation that she be given the green light to adopt Andy. As soon as she leaves, an elated Andy scampers back into the room to hug Beverly Ann and gush about how he now believes that an adoption will for sure, absolutely, truly happen this time.  

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Recap: Tootie is exercising her singing voice when the doorbell rings and she comes face-to-face with Bobby Rydell and Fabian...and has no idea who they are, even after they introduce themselves. They explain to her that in the '60s they used to live in this very building (back when it was a boarding house) and figured 'why not drop in on complete strangers to revisit the place that holds so many fun memories for us?' A disinterested Tootie's like, "OK, whatever" and tells them to maybe stop by later, when the oldest person living in the house [who might have a clue as to who the hell they are] returns home.

When Beverly Ann hears that Robby Rydell and Fabian were in her living room, she squeals like an infatuated schoolgirl...and Jo confirms that the two icons are definitely in town 'cause they're scheduled to perform with Chubby Checker at a concert that Langley College radio has been plugging all week. Beverly Ann dreamily calls the '60s "my era" and reminisces about all the groovy clothes and music of yore. She then wanders over to her collection of 45s and puts on her favorite song from the decade on the record player...and as the music plays, the Facts of Life takes an inevitable trip back to the time of tie-dye, love-ins, and shaggy hairdos. Well, sort of...since it seems like whoever was in charge of this episode's wardrobe lumped in a bunch of different looks from various decades. 

'60s Beverly Ann is decked out in black garb, a long blonde wig atop her head, and is saying man a lot. When a group of neighborhood hooligans smash her window with a baseball, a boy rushes inside the boarding house to deny that he had anything to do with the baseball...and he turns out to be '60s Andy who, for some incoherent reason, is sporting overalls and a Little Rascals Alfalfa hairdo. '60s Beverly Ann doesn't buy his fib and hands him a broom before ordering him to clean up all the broken glass, capping off the interaction with, "Ya dig?" ... and he must dig, 'cause he obediently takes the broom and starts sweeping.

Bobby Rydell and Fabian are being pursued and attacked by starstruck girls before dashing into the boarding house for safety. '60s Beverly Ann asks them if they wouldn't mind discussing ideas to save her failing coffee house [next door], and they half-heartedly promise to talk about it later, then race up the stairs.   

'60s Jo, who's rocking a beehive 'do and a Danny Zuko style leather jacket, slips into the boarding house. She makes sure the coast is clear, then motions for '60s Blair, who looks like a Sandra Dee clone, to follow. '60s Blair gigglingly laments wasting time skulking around a boarding house when she could be making out, and '60s Jo snappishly orders her to park her lips in neutral so they can do what they came here to do. She then lets out a whistle, which prompts '60s Tootie and '60s Natalie to also sneak inside. '60s Tootie wrings her hands worriedly about getting caught trespassing, while '60s Natalie gabbles excitedly about how far out it is to be standing in the very same room that Bobby Rydell and Fabian were just standing in. Be still my heart. '60s Jo chides her for being a lame-o, then urges everyone to clump together so they can envision the name of their foursome in lights when they become a famous band: the Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la's.

'60s Beverly Ann enters the room and asks whassup with the four of them standing in her boarding house, so '60s Jo explains that they're a budding girl band that's written a song they think would be outa sight for Bobby Rydell and Fabian to perform. (Full disclosure: Elvis has already turned it down.) '60s Beverly Ann dismissively says they're way too busy to be bothered with some obscure song - but Jo insists that the four of them have to make it in showbiz 'cause they all got kicked out of beauty school. '60s Beverly Ann's like, "I can dig it", tells the beauty school dropouts to leave the sheet music with her, and promises to show it to Bobby and Fabian. The gals hand it to her, then happily scuttle off...and '60s Beverly Ann chuckles derisively at the song's title - Hot Rod Lover - then casually tosses the sheet music on the piano bench before rushing off somewhere.

Bobby Rydell and Fabian scamper downstairs, find the sheet music on the piano bench, and instantly look intrigued. They quickly determine that Hot Rod Lover has the potential to be a mega-hit and seat themselves in front of the piano and perform the song [as if they'd been rehearsing it for weeks]. '60s Beverly Ann re-enters the room and apologizes for leaving that lame-o sheet music laying around - but the men argue that the song is a definite hit and ask who wrote it...and '60s Beverly Ann craftily takes the credit for that honor.

'60s Beverly Ann is on the phone with her landlord and assures them she'll have the rent money soon 'cause she's about to come into some cash, and ends the call with, "Thanks, daddy-o."

'60s Andy finishes sweeping up the broken glass - but '60s Beverly Ann points out that he still owes her for some previous damage that he and the other little rascals caused and orders him to get back to work. A few seconds later, the Facts gals return to see if Bobby Rydell and Fabian liked their song...and '60s Beverly Ann tells them that the guys weren't impressed, then asks if they happen to have any other songs she could take credit for writing. '60s Jo says they don't and asks for the sheet music back, but '60s Beverly Ann says she doesn't have it and thinks she may have thrown it out with the trash. 

As the gals lament their bad luck, '60s Jo cheers them up by assuring them they're somebodies. '60s Natalie suggests they perform Hot Rod Lover specifically for Robby Rydell and Fabian, and '60s Jo says she definitely likes the boldness of that idea. 

Bobby Rydell and Fabian are continuing to work on the song when the Facts gals enter the boarding house dressed in white overalls, disguised as house painters. Fabian tells them they're busy rehearsing and to please come back tomorrow...and as '60s Natalie gushes over his hotness, Beverly Ann enters the room and suspects that something fishy is going on. She rips off their fake moustaches - just as Bobby Rydell and Fabian resume rehearsing Hot Rod Lover. The Facts gals gasp and inform the two that they wrote that song - calling out '60s Beverly Ann as a liar. Bobby Rydell scrunches his face confusedly and says he's going to need proof as to who the real songwriter is, so the gals strip off their white overalls, stand in a line, and begin singing Hot Rod Lover with accompanying dance moves. When they mercifully wrap up the performance, Bobby Rydell and Fabian excitedly announce that the song is definitely a hit!

A deflated '60s Beverly Ann apologizes for her thievery, but explains that she only did it to save her failing coffee house. Bobby Rydell and Fabian cluck sympathetically and offer to perform a show in her coffee house in order to help her raise funds for the mortgage, and she's so thrilled by their kindness that she runs over and literally jumps into their arms. 

Later at the coffee house, '60s Beverly Ann is reciting a depressing poem to the crowd while a goatee-ed '60s Andy bangs on a drum. After that drudgery, she introduces Bobby Rydell and Fabian, who in turn invite the Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la's to perform on stage along with them. The coffee house audience gets all into it, and dances along before breaking out into enthusiastic applause. 

Back to present day..

Beverly Ann sums up the episode by saying, "That's how the story goes", and that the Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la's promptly quit showbiz and opened a beauty parlor.

When Bobby Rydell and Fabian return, Beverly Ann rushes upstairs to get dolled up before meeting them. Tootie introduces the two music icons to Andy and the rest of the Facts gals, and sheepishly apologizes for not having a clue as to who they were earlier. The two men glance around and remark on how different the place looks, then mention a third floor. When a confused Blair says there is no third floor, they're all, "Oops! Wrong building!" and rush out - LOL - just as Beverly Ann sweeps down the staircase in a sexy red dress. She's crushed when she hears that the heartthrob has-beens abruptly left, then flails about like a headless chicken, I guess in an effort to chase after them.

Recap: Beverly Ann, Andy, and the Facts gals are in Over Our Heads, putting out tacky Valentine's Day inventory and chatting about the upcoming dance. Blair announces that her date for the evening will be her latest squeeze, Fletcher, while everyone else mumbles that they don't have dates and will most likely skip the dance. 

Beverly Anne's beau, Oliver, arrives at the store for a lunch date...and Tootie gets all in his bidness and unsubtly hints that he really really needs to ask Beverly Ann to the Valentine's Day dance or else. 

Natalie pulls a Cupid statue out of one the boxes and wonders aloud what the thing is doing here since none of them ordered a Cupid. Jo suggests sending it back to where it came from - but Beverly Ann advises against that and proposes they keep it around for the duration of the episode in case the sting of its arrow results in bringing one or more of them true love. A few seconds later, Oliver dutifully invites Beverly Ann to attend the Valentine's Day dance with him, and she happily accepts before the two head off on their lunch date. Tootie takes that interaction as a sign that Cupid is working its magic - but Jo grumpily insists it's a myth, then ambles off to fix her motorcycle.

Cliff - Blair's ex-beau last seen in the Dream Marriage episode - drops by for a surprise visit, and Blair's all, "Wha-a-a-at are you doing here?" before happily hugging him and steering him into the living room so they can get caught up on their lives.  

Cliff tells Blair that he's about to graduate from medical school and is now on the hunt for an internship in an east coast hospital. Blair gazes at him lovingly and asks him if he'd like to stay for dinner, but he's forced to decline 'cause he has to catch a train to New York for an interview. He then brings up the Valentine's Day dance at Langley and wistfully assumes she already has a date lined up, and she blushingly confirms that, yep, there's definitely a long line of guys eager to experience the privilege of dating her. 

Jo returns home, says hey to Cliff...and offers to give him a lift to the train station when she hears that he needs to catch a train to New York. Cliff then returns his attention to Blair to wank her about how lucky he was to have dated such a beautiful, doe-eyed cherub, promises to call her before returning to Houston, and leans in for a tender goodbye smooch. 

Natalie tries to get Blair to admit that her naughty parts tingled when she was reunited with Cliff, but Blair adamantly insists that she and Cliff are history and that Fletcher is "the man of the hour". Tootie, meanwhile, reads aloud from a book detailing Cupid's abundant romantic powers, which Natalie dismissively says can be explained away as the positive vibes people give off to prospective mates in their orbit. 

Tootie gets a call from her ex-boyfriend Jeff, last seen in the My Boyfriend's Back episode, to announce that he too is about to make a guest appearance. Tootie squeals happily about reuniting with her former illiterate beau after a two year absence and announces that she's going to ask him to go to the dance with her...and a curmudgeonly Jo refuses to believe that this is, in any way, related to Cupid's abundant romantic powers. 

Jo answers the door to a man wearing a Gorilla suit, who's been directed to deliver a banana-gram to Natalie. He sings a love long to her, courtesy of Snake, who offers to escort her to the Valentine's Day dance...and in response Natalie squeals happily. A few seconds later, the gorilla head is removed - and Jo is stunned to see that the mystery banana-gram deliverer is none other than Roy, I think last seen in the Different Drummer episode. He informs Jo that he's now the proud owner of a lucrative banana-gram business (you heard me), is ready to take the next step in life, and to that end wants to rekindle their romance so that he can share his burgeoning empire with her. Jo points out that they never actually had a romance, makes it clear that she has zero interest in hooking up with him in any capacity, and gives him the bum's rush out the door.

An alarmed looking Tootie looks around for the Cupid statue, which appears to have gone missing, and worriedly says that its absence doesn't bode well for the karma surrounding their romantic prospects. A few seconds later, Beverly Ann storms into the room, raging about how Oliver is stepping out with another woman who he was spotted kissing. 

Cliff drops by a second time to ask Jo if she'd be interested in going to the Valentine's Day dance with him. Jo mulls over that interesting invitation before she decides she likes the idea of sticking it to Blair and accepts.

In the next scene, Blair's all, "The fuck?!" when she learns about Jo and Cliff going to the dance together. Jo reminds her that she was pretty adamant about her and Cliff being dunzo, and Blair shoots her an incredulous glare while snapping, "And you thought I meant that?" She reminds Jo that Cliff proposed marriage - marriage! - to her, and Jo wryly points out that in response she turned him down...and then promptly embarked on a dating frenzy with every Biff, Tad, and Fletcher. Jo then offers to cancel on Cliff, but Blair passively-aggressively says not to cancel on her account - but that if she does go to the dance with Cliff, she'll never speak to her again. 
 
Beverly Ann continues to rant and rave about Oliver's infidelity, and reveals that she left an angry message on his answering machine.

When Jeff arrives, Tootie gives him a happy hug and steers him over to the couch so they can get caught up. Jeff makes a point of telling her that he's not currently dating anyone, feels bad about his 'hell no!' reaction when she offered up her virginity in Season 6, and that his newest passion in life is marine biology. Um, OK..? Tootie's like, "I couldn't possibly care any less about your life" and excitedly gabbles about her grinding quest to be an actress...and soon the two are staring blankly at each other, forced to admit that they're once again at different places in their lives. Jeff glumly says he was hoping they'd have more in common, then gets up and dejectedly shuffles off. 

Blair rails to Natalie about Jo's betrayal in trying to steal her boyfriend, but Natalie points out that Cliff isn't her boyfriend...and that clearly she still has unresolved feelings for him, much like the situation with herself and Snake. Blair chuckles and condescendingly tells Natalie that she can't possibly compare her fictional relationship to a non-existent reptile-person to her near engagement with Cliff...and Natalie gets visibly annoyed by the accusation that she made up the whole 'I have a boyfriend named Snake' thing.

Andy brings back the Cupid statue after borrowing it to see if he could get lucky, and complains that the thing sucks 'cause its romantic powers resulted in toooo many girls simultaneously going ga-ga over him. Sure, Andy. That sounds completely plausible.

Oliver arrives to pick up Beverly Ann for another lunch date, and she serenely enters the room to calmly inform him that, upon reflection, she's decided it's A-OK with her if he wants to see other women. Oliver perks up at that prospect and says that that sounds good to him, and assures her he's still fine with escorting her to the Valentine's Day dance. Beverly Ann says she's surprised he'd be willing to do that, given the tongue-lashing she left on his answering machine. A perplexed Oliver says he hasn't been home to hear his messages 'cause he was out having lunch with his sister...and a sheepish Beverly Ann's like, "Your sister?" and asks if she's an attractive woman. Oliver just kind of shrugs and replies, "Uh, yeah..?", then confirms their plans to attend the dance together. As they head out, Beverly Ann warns him that a deranged woman has been impersonating her and leaving really hostile phone messages on random people's machines. LOL.

Blair and Natalie urge Tootie, who's moping in the living room in her nightie, to come to the Valentine's Day dance with them - but she refuses to go stag. Blair tells her to just invent a boyfriend - like the way Natalie did - just as Jeff arrives for a follow-up visit. He tells Tootie that he snuck in on her theater rehearsal this afternoon and was deeply impressed by her acting talent...and Tootie looks pleased at the wankery and happily accepts his invitation to attend the dance. 

Fletcher calls to cancel on Blair 'cause his great uncle in Palm Beach is ill...and he needs to rush to his side so that he stays in the will. A few seconds later, Oliver arrives to escort Beverly Ann to the dance, and she makes a grand entrance, sweeping down the stairs in a sexy, tight-fitting red dress. Cliff arrives to escort Jo - but first gets drawn into a conversation with Blair about how it's probably all for the best that she turned down his marriage proposal, given that he wouldn't have been able to spend any time with her while he was busy training to be a doctor. Jo eavesdrops from the second floor landing, then ambles downstairs looking visibly pensive - just as Roy happens to drop by. Jo pulls him inside, tells Cliff she just remembered she had agreed to attend the dance with Roy, and a confused but delighted Roy's all, "You did?" Jo then suggests the four of them attend the dance together as a friendly foursome, and Blair shoots her a grateful smile and orders Roy to take good care of her bestie. 

Natalie tells everyone she'll catch up to them 'cause she's still waiting on Snake to pick her up. Blair rolls her eyes skeptically and is all, "Have fun waiting for your imaginary boyfriend" before heading out.  A few seconds later, a car horn summons Natalie off camera, and she stares out at the live studio audience and chirps, "You'll just have to take my word for it!" before dashing out.

Recap: The Facts gals are about to leave for a weekend ski trip...and when Andy begs for some relevance in this episode by needlessly tagging along, Jo shuts that down with a firm, "Er, nope." Tootie, meanwhile, is snapping multiple photos of everyone rushing around and explains that she wants to capture every moment for posterity 'cause it might be their last big trip together, given that Jo and Blair are graduating from Langley soon...and would maybe finally want to move on from living under the same roof with the housemates they've had since high school, and a housemother replacement. A desperate Andy gets down on his knees and begs for permission to come along - but Tootie tells him it's more of a girls' weekend...and somehow refrains from suggesting that it'd probably be a healthy thing for everyone if he directed more of his energy into finding kids his own age to hang with. 

When the Facts gals arrive at a fancy mountain cabin, they're shocked to see that it's occupied by a guy in a towel (Hopper) and two pals. When Jo gruffly demands to know what the hell they're doing in their cabin, Tootie explains that the cabin belongs to Warner Industries. One of the towel-less guys - hey, it's the actor who plays Matt Fielding on Melrose Place! - says that his dad, who's on the board of Warner Industries, got him and his buddies the company cabin for the weekend. Blair perks up, introduces herself, and tells Matt Fielding that her dad is on the board of his dad's company...and Matt immediately gets all gushy-smitten and tells Blair that they once crossed paths at a company picnic when she was twelve, and that he couldn't be more pleased about her gorgeous metamorphsis since those awkward pre-teen years.

Jo interrupts the flirtitude to brusquely point out that they can't all co-habitate in the one-room cabin all weekend, and Hopper's like, "Sure we can." Natalie visibly perks up at that prospect, then visibly perks up even more when she learns that nine of the guys' pals are expected to join them to attend Matt Fielding's bachelor party. Matt gallantly offers to dash out, find the nearest pay phone, and come up with a solution to The Case of the Overcrowded Cabin, and a chipper-than-usual Blair offers to go with him. 

Hopper seats himself beside Jo and schmaltzily tells her that he's a shy kinda guy who'd prolly always regret letting a hottie such as herself slip away - but she shooes him away like a pesky insect...as does Tootie when he uses the same schmaltzy schtick on her. He then moves onto Natalie, who's definitely into it and blushingly giggles at the flattery. LOL.

Blair and Matt Fielding return from their pay phone errand and inform everyone that they were accidentally double-booked in the cabin - but that the gals have a reservation later in the day in a cabin a few miles down the road. Jo et. al. decide that in the meantime they're going to hit the slopes...and when Blair announces that she'd much prefer to hang in the cabin. Matt mulls that over and decides he too is going to hang in the cabin all day.

While cozying by the fire, Matt tells Blair that this is the first weekend in awhile that he and his fiancée have been apart, and that they're expecting a few hundred people at their wedding. Blair dreamily says she envies Sheila, and Matt shoots her an 'I'm definitely smitten with you' look and half-heartedly agrees that his fiancée is indeed a very special gal.

The others return to the cabin after an afternoon of skiing...and when the Facts gals start gathering up their stuff to relocate to their own cabin, a disappointed Matt says he'd much prefer it if they all hung out some more. And by all he really just means himself and Blair. 

When Beverly Ann suddenly peers into the window, the guys assume she's an aged stripper one of them hired for Matt's bachelor party. LOL. A few seconds later, Beverly Ann bursts inside to 1) clarify that she's not a stripper, and 2) inform the Facts gals that she got a call from Blair's dad, warning that a bunch of guys accidentally got double-booked in their cabin for the weekend. She then thought it'd be a good idea to fire up her dilapidated  Winnebago and drive up to the mountains to tell the Facts gals something they'd no doubt have figured out the minute they arrived at the cabin. She tells them that her Winnebago got stuck in the snow on account of the blizzard, and that all the roads in the area are closed. An alarmed Tootie's all, "Wuhhhh?" and makes it clear how annoyed she is that they're going to have to spend their much anticipated girls' weekend with three strangers. 

In the kitchen, Blair tells Matt she's sorry that the blizzard has put the kibosch on his bachelor party, and he reacts by leaning in for a touchy-feely canoodle and cooing, "It's turning out just fine." Mmm hmm..

Annoyed by the inconvenience of the hazardous weather conditions, Tootie snaps photographs around the cabin to cheer herself up, while Blair pulls Jo aside for an urgent tête-à-tête. The guys, along with Beverly Ann, decide to pass the time playing poker. 

Blair tells Jo that they need to leave the cabin pronto 'cause of the hot crush Matt Fielding has developed on her. Jo's all, "The hell you talkin' 'bout?" and reminds her that Matt's getting married next week. Blair explains that she's been getting some pretty strong signals, including an unmistakable canoodle in the kitchen just now - but Jo says she has serious doubts that a guy like Matt would actually dump his fiancée for someone he barely knows, and dismissively tells Blair she's just seeing things. Blair mulls that over, decides she prefers Jo's theory to reality, and looks relieved at not being a potential home wrecker. 

As Beverly Ann cleans out the unsuspecting guys with a series of big poker wins, Matt Fielding seats himself next to Blair by the fire and says he hopes she doesn't think he was being too forward when he so brazenly touchy-feelily canoodled her. She happily chirps back that [after being flippantly advised by Jo] she now [mis]understands the situation perfectly...and he's all, "Yay!" and says he's sooooo happy to have found the right woman. A relieved Blair says she's sooooo happy to hear him say that - just as he starts wringing his hands about what in blazes he's going to tell Sheila when he dumps her for someone he just met. When Blair's all, "Uh, the fuck?", Matt professes his love for her and says he plans to call off his wedding to Sheila. A horrified Blair scrambles to her feet and steers Jo back into the kitchen for a follow-up tête-à-tête.

Beverly Ann, meanwhile, continues to win big at poker. 

Blair tells Jo there can be no more denying that Matt Fielding is in love with her...and Jo chuckles about how completely ass-backwards off-the-mark her earlier advice was, then asks Blair what she did to encourage Matt's attraction to her. Blair insists that she was merely being friendly - but then admits that, yeah, she may have tossed back her hair and giggled flirtily a few times. 

When bedtime arrives, the guys and gals divide the cabin by hanging up a curtain. Matt Fielding schmaltzily wishes Blair sweet dreams, and she scrunches her face concernedly and spills the beans to Beverly And and the rest of the Facts gals about how Matt plans to dump his fiancée 'cause he suddenly decided he's in love with her. As Tootie and Natalie look visibly shocked and quasi-appalled, Beverly Ann chalks up Matt's change of heart to men being swine.

Blair announces that she can't possibly sleep on the floor (nearest the curtain) and begs Jo to change places with her. Jo grumpily agrees, mainly to shut her up...and a few seconds later from the other side of the curtain, Matt Fielding misdirects his romantic cooing when he tells Jo that he's lying next to her and that - fingers crossed - it's going to be at the most exciting night of their lives. An amused Jo pulls back the curtain and cackles, "But will you respect me in the morning?!", and everyone (including me) chuckles heartily at her sassy mockery. 

Beverly Ann chides Matt for betraying his fiancée, but then concedes that marriage is big step. She fibs that her marriage ended when Frank was torn apart by wild animals, then assures Matt that it's perfectly natural [for a twenty-something guy who's clearly not mature enough to be in a marriage] to want a fling before settling down...but refrains from mentioning that he's sooooooooo barking up the wrong tree with Blair, 'cause despite the flirty vibe she's always giving off to guys, she's a staunch virgin who was conspicuously absent in the very special Season 9 episode when the first of the Facts gals - Natalie - gets her cherry popped out of wedlock.

A restless Blair tries to have a heart-to-heart with Beverly Ann when she admits that she's always craved attention from males by acting cute and perky...and Beverly Ann refrains from laughing about how that has to be the biggest understatement in the history of understatements 'cause she's fast asleep and loudly snoring.

The next morning, Blair apologizes to Matt for doing anything that may have led him on in any way, and he assures her that his change of heart about his marriage was more about cold feet. When he calls her terrific, she giggles and flirtily tosses her hair - but then has a brief moment of self awareness and hastily stops. 

The rest of the gang wakes up to the sound of snowplows clearing the roads. Hopper once again puts the moves on Natalie - but she wearily tells him that, upon further reflection, she's perfectly fine with him letting a hottie such as herself slip away. 

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Recap: George Clooney (!) is hanging in Over Our Heads - just as Jo is reminded that she's supposed to be hosting a college radio show. She races off as Blair arrives, and Blair doesn't try to hide the fact that she deliberately stayed away to avoid helping the other Facts gals get ready for tomorrow's big sale. A few seconds later, she hears a knock on the door...recognizes Stacey Q from the Off-Broadway Baby episode and welcomes her inside.

Tootie's all, "Wha-a-a-at are you doing here?", so Stacey Q explains that she's been replaced in the Broadway show - but that she's fine with it 'cause she's decided to quit showbiz. Tootie scrunches her face confusedly and asks why in blazes the producers would fire such a talented performer...and Stacey Q just shrugs and mumbles something about how she maybe wasn't good enough. A smitten George wanders over, introduces himself, then escorts her off-camera to look at some Over Our Heads inventory.

Tootie is visibly mystified about why Stacey Q was fired and is taking it upon herself to talk her out of quitting showbiz. Beverly Ann advises her to mind her own damn business, but Tootie's like, "Nope" and refuses to allow her friend to throw her career away.

Later, Jo returns home after putting in an eighteen hour college radio shift. She explains that she's always having to cover for other DJs, but slogs through by drinking coffee non-stop.

Stacey Q drops by with George and Andy, babbles incoherently about something or other, and asks if Tootie's around. Beverly Ann tells her that Tootie's rehearsing a radio show and adds that since Jo is so zonked from working overtime at college radio, they could really use some help in the store. Stacey Q perks up and offers to help out, citing her past retail experience working in a live bait shop.

Later, Stacey Q has just made her first Over Our Heads sale and gushes about how thrilled she is to be a cashier again. When Tootie returns home after her rehearsal and performs part of her monologue, Stacey Q bloviates about how some things are a part of you...then announces that she's decided to open her own live bait shop. Tootie's all, "The fuuuuck?" as she stares back at her incredulously.

Jo is back at Langley Radio, dishing out nonsensical advice as she fills in for the Ask Al Anything show. Beverly Ann drops by with some sustenance and tells her that Stacey Q has been covering her Over Our Heads shifts. A few seconds later, Jo's DJ-mate Stan arrives at the station with some new music for her to play, then hands her Stacey Q's new album and says that the imp is supposed to start her national tour next week - but has mysteriously disappeared. 

The following morning, Stacey Q is staring into a cup of earthworms while Andy helps her develop a concept for her prospective live bait shop. 

Tootie tells Stacey Q that failure is nothing to be ashamed of, gives her a pep talk about how she should get right back up on the horse, and invites her to regain her confidence by performing on her upcoming radio show. Jo returns home a few seconds later and wryly suggests that Stacey Q perform something from her new album - Color Me Cinnamon - and Tootie's all, "Wha-a-a?" and asks what gives. Stacey Q explains that the record company loved her new album so much that they set up a national tour to promote it...and she reacted by running away 'cause she's very skeered she's nowhere near good enough to be an emerging '80s pop star. Tootie flatly calls her nuts for squandering her big break, makes it clear that she has zero sympathy for her insecurities 'cause of how hard she's been busting her ass to break into the biz, then barks at her to go hide out somewhere else. Ouch. Stacey Q sheepishly announces that she's going to pack up her things before slinking out of the room.

Blair has warmed to Stacey Q's earthworms, and is lovingly talking to them when Jo returns home from yet another long DJing shift. George drops by to announce that he just quit his job at his pop's hardware store so he can begin to fulfill his destiny of becoming a major Hollywood movie star, and Beverly Ann nods approvingly and says a guy's gotta do what makes him happy. He reveals that he really has no plan, other than to hit the road and see the country.

Tootie comes downstairs and says she's off to rehearse/perform her radio show - but the rest of the Facts gals make it clear how miffed at her they are for being so mean to Stacey Q. Tootie digs in about how stoooopid it is that Stacey Q is squandering her opportunity to become a pop star, then stomps off to rehearsal.

Over at Langley Radio, Tootie performs her dramatic reading...and as that's happening, Beverly Ann and the rest of the Facts gals arrive to watch from the control booth. As they applaud Tootie's performance, she tells listeners she has a sheepish confession to make, then laments not supporting her showbiz friend. A few seconds later, she sees that Stacey Q has arrived at the radio station with George Clooney and is all, "What are you doing here?" - leaving Jo to scramble to introduce the next act: a ukulele player. 

Stacey Q says she's now ready to embark on her national tour (with George Clooney tagging along as a roadie), and credits Tootie's support in having so much faith in her. Tootie apologizes for her bitchitude earlier and asks if she'd be interested in getting in some extra exposure by performing her newest hit on Langley Radio...and Stacey Q says's she's game - since why the hell else did she make a second Facts of Life appearance? - and starts singing We Connect, as the rest of the Facts cast bops to the '80s beat. 

After the performance, George Clooney offers to treat everyone to pizza...before leaving Peekskill, never to be seen on Facts of Life again.

Godspeed, George Clooney! See you on E.R.

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