Recap: Jo bursts into the cafeteria, screeching at her nerdy, 'fro sporting admirer Roy about how she's definitely not going out on a date with him tonight. An unfazed Roy winks at her and says, "I gotcha. You want to think about it." Mrs. Garrett informs them that they're currently brainstorming about ways to raise money for the new library, so Roy suggests the Eastland girls sell kisses - then leers at Jo and promises to be her first customer. Jo shoves him aside and suggests they fundraise by providing a useful service, such as a car wash, then asks why they even need to fundraise, since the school is receiving a shitload of cash from the estate of Blair's recently deceased grandfather. Mrs. Garrett explains that Grandpapa Blair's $500,000 donation will only cover the cost of the bricks and mortar, not the books. Cheapskate. Blair breezes into the cafeteria with the headmaster, Mr. Parker, and tells everyone that they were just at the construction site and she's pleased to report that the Carlton Blair Library is coming along beautifully. Mr. Parker tells Mrs. Garrett he wants the students and faculty to make suggestions about which books they should buy, then puts Blair in charge of polling the students. He tells her it's going to require a lot of footwork and paperwork, and Blair does not look thrilled. After he and Mrs. Garrett disappear into the kitchen so he can scarf down some of her apple pie, Blair starts fake gushing about how exciting the poll will be and tries to get Jo and Tootie interested in the task. She reminds them that Natalie is working on a "glowing testimonial" about her grandfather for the school paper...and speaking of Natalie, she suddenly enters the cafeteria looking troubled. Blair asks her if she finished writing the testimonial yet, but Natalie cagily tells her she still has a bunch of research to do. Blair nods approvingly and says she respects her thoroughness and dedication, then orders Tootie to giddyup with the student polling. Mrs. Garrett proudly tells Natalie that Mr. Parker loved her apple pie so much he practically inhaled it, but Natalie doesn't care and wails, "I'm in distress!" She says she did, in fact, finish writing the story about Carlton Blair, and Mrs. Garrett looks puzzled and says, "That's good, right..?" but Natalie grimly shakes her head and says that Blair probably has no idea what a total shitbag her grandfather really was. She solemnly pronounces, "Once she finds out, she'll want to hang herself from her family tree." Blair's lounging on her bed, looking at an old family album with photos of her and her grandfather, who apparently was a judge. Jo asks Tootie if she needs help with her polling project, and Tootie says, "No, Blair's helping me" Jo looks over at Blair lazily lounging and goes, "How?" so Blair explains that she's "supervising", and that she's too busy reminiscing about her carefree childhood to be of much help to Tootie. She says that she and Grandpapa Blair used to go horseback riding together, and that during her mother's many divorces, he was the one constant in her life. Natalie suddenly enters the room, and Blair waves her photo album at her and encourages her to look at photos of her grandfather 'cause she may want to use one for the school paper. Natalie warns her that there's probably some stuff about her grandfather she's never heard before and suggests they discuss it in private, but Blair breezily urges her to include Jo and Tootie in the conversation. Natalie's like, "Er...OK" and starts off by mentioning the positive things:
...before she segue-ways into the bad stuff:
Blair chuckles, "That's impossible! You must have him mixed up with someone else!" Natalie says she has photographic proof, then shows her a copy of the obituary she dug up while she was researching him and explains that it's not the sanitized version that most of the newspapers carried: this one reveals that Grandpapa Blair was an opponent of desegregation. Blair's all, "Wha-a?!", reads the obituary, wigs out, and flees the room. Jo, Tootie, and Natalie gather together to read the obituary, and Jo reads aloud the most damning part: "He was a longtime supporter and member of the Ku Klux Klan." Yikes. The three stare solemnly at each other before the scene quietly fades to black for a commercial break. Jo and Natalie are in the cafeteria, gathering stuff for their car wash fundraiser as they gabble about Blair's tainted family tree. Mrs. Garrett tells them that Blair has clearly suffered a terrible shock after learning about her grandfather's ties to the Klan. Natalie concurs and says that Blair's been acting very weird at the car wash: she insists on doing penance by cleaning the cars' ashtrays and the front grills where all the dead bugs hang out. Tootie enters the room dressed in a pink wool sweater that's several sizes too big for her and says it's Blair's...and Mrs. Garrett shakes her head in dismay and goes, "Not again." Apparently, Blair is giving Tootie clothes and credit cards to make up for her feelings of guilt about being the granddaughter of a Klansman. Tootie says she's tried to assure Blair that she doesn't blame her for her grandfather's actions, but Blair responded by giving her another sweater. A few seconds later, Blair enters the room looking extremely sheepish and guilt-ridden. She gushes over Tootie in the lumpy sweater, then announces that she's considering calling the new library The Carlton Blair Library of Black Studies. Everyone's all, "Wuh?" and Tootie reminds her that she hasn't finished polling the students to find out what kind of books they want in the library. Blair apologizes for dumping all that work on her, but Tootie insists it's fun, then admonishes her for overcompensating and generally driving her nuts. She says, "Just be my friend, OK?" and Blair contritely nods and says, "OK." Blair asks Jo why she hasn't uttered one snarky word about her grandfather being a Klansman, then assumes it's 'cause she's not even worth insulting because she's so far beneath contempt. Jo points out it's not her fault her grandfather was a creep, and that it's not necessary for her to take the rap for him. Blair wonders aloud if she might be prejudiced, but Jo assures her she's not so much prejudiced as snobbish. Blair mulls that over, concurs, and asks Jo to teach her how to be more "common", and Jo tries to make a break for it - just as Roy unexpectedly arrives. He waves around a couple of tickets and tells Jo they're for tonight's bowl-a-rama. Blair exclaims, "It sounds perfect! Take me bowling!" then explains to Jo that it's all part of her penance regimen. Jo looks aghast and wails, "You haven't sinned that much!" and Roy somehow takes all this as a compliment and urges them not to fight over him. He says he'd prefer to go out with Jo, which prompts Blair to plead with Jo to convince him to take her out instead. Jo reluctantly agrees and tells Roy she's be grateful if he did this favor for her. Roy lights up and tells Blair he'll pick her up at 7pm...then says to Jo, "We'll see how grateful you are tomorrow." Gross. Blair looks pleased, but tells Jo she needs to do more. Jo snaps, "What do you want to do? Cancel the library?" Hmm..? Blair heads over to the construction site, where she finds Mrs. Garrett and Mr. Parker milling about. Mr. Parker tells her they're still trying to decide where to hang Grandpapa Blair's portrait, but Blair says she doesn't want anything of the dickwad in this library - not his name, his portrait, or his money. Mr. Parker pales and is all, "Wha-a?" so Blair tells him that Carlton Blair was a wretched, wretched man. Mr. Parker scrunches his face in confusion, so Mrs. Garrett explains that Blair just learned some disturbing news about her grandfather. Mr. Parker says he's been privy to lots of shady family secrets and that it can't possibly be that bad...so Blair informs him that Grandpapa Blair was a member of the Ku Klux Klan. As Mr. Parker gasps in horror, Blair says she's sure he wouldn't want her grandfather's filthy money to be used for this beautiful library, but he says, "Yes I would" and explains that Eastland needs this library, and that it will mean a lot to a lot of people. Plus, he won't be able to pay for the construction that's already underway if they don't get a big infusion of cash from the old cracker's estate. Mrs. Garrett asks Mr. Parker to excuse himself so she can have a heart-to-heart with Blair and wrap up this tedious, unfunny episode. Blair moans about how her grandfather stood for everything she despises, and that building a library in his name makes her feel like she's a part of something horrible. Mrs. Garrett says she shouldn't take the blame for the shitty, racist things he did throughout his shitty life, but instead try to cling onto the fact that he was always good to her. She says you can't stop loving people just 'cause they disappoint you, and Blair says, "Even a man like that?" and Mrs. Garrett nods and reminds her that she now has a chance to do something good with her grandfather's loot. She points out that because the dickwad spent so much of his life promoting ignorance, maybe a library is a fitting, posthumous gift to the world. Blair mulls that over and agrees to donate her grandfather's money, but insists that the facility be named The Eastland Library. Makes sense. Blair whines about how proud she was about having her rich family be part of the library, so Mrs. Garrett hands her a stick and says, "The cement hasn't quite hardened yet." Blair carefully carves her initials into the floor and says she feels like she's now able to face anything with her head held up high. Cue Roy, who arrives wearing a shiny purple jacket and smarmily tells Blair he's here to pick her up for their date...and Blair shoots Mrs. Garrett a help me look as she reluctantly trails out after him for a night at the bowl-a-rama. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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