The Facts of Life - Season 9, Episode 13

"I suppose it's not as stupid a birthday gift as I originally assumed."

"Something in Common"
Original airdate: 1/16/1988

Episode summary: Jo is distressed when her father takes an instant dislike to her new beau, Rick.

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Recap: Beverly Ann returns home after a morning jog...followed by Natalie and Andy, who are both huffing and puffing. Beverly Ann finds Pippa sleeping on the couch under a pile of blankets...but has to put a pin in a much-needed discussion about how she and the rest of the Facts gang are going to have to put their heads together and figure out a better privacy arrangement for their superfluous Aussie houseguest. 

Jo, who's rocking a pretty wild mullet this episode, asks Blair if she wouldn't mind covering her Over Our Heads shift today...and Blair says she would, in fact, mind 'cause she has a full day of law school classes. Jo whines about how she's going to be too busy preparing for the reverse costume party she's attending with Rick tonight, plus her dad is coming to town for an impromptu visit and she has to arrange for a hotel reservation...though it remains unclear why either of those things preludes her from completing an afternoon shift at the store. When Jo tries to sweet talk Beverly Ann into taking her shift, Beverly Ann chides her for trying to fob her work off on others and haughtily declines 'cause she has a life...but after chewing on that pronouncement for few seconds realizes that, nope, she actually doesn't. She offers Jo an ultimatum: she'll take care of the arduous task of reserving a hotel room for Charlie (something, incidentally, he should probably be doing himself) if she works her Over Our Heads shift as originally scheduled. 

That evening, Jo enters the living room wearing a tuxedo...and a few seconds later, Rick arrives carrying a garment bag containing the ladies gown he plans to change into. After the two leave the room, Charlie arrives unexpectedly early for his father/daughter visit. Blair gives him a warm hello hug and fills him in on Jo's new beau, adding that he's a very nice lad and that Jo really seems to have a thing for him.

Rick bounds downstairs in a sparkly blue, cleavage-bearing dress singing, "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!" as Charlie's all 'the fuck?' and then is all 'what the fuckity fuck?' after Blair tells him that the singing cross-dresser is Jo's beau. When Rick learns that Charlie is Jo's dad, he decides 'why not keep pretending as though wearing women's clothing is a regular thing I do?' and further jokes that he would have gotten his hair done if he knew he was going to be meeting his girlfriend's pa. A few seconds later, Jo enters the room, is all, "Ack!" at the sight of Charlie's dismayed bewilderment, and hastily explains that she and Rick are attending a reverse costume party. She then tries to get them to form a bond by pointing out that they both have an interest in music: Rick plays piano, Charlie plays the saxophone. Rick perks up at that and suggests that they jam together some time - but Charlie snappishly retorts that he used to play saxophone before realizing that it was impossible to make a living at it, then rhetorically asks, "Who wants to play in smoky clubs?" When he asks Rick what he does, a sheepish looking Rick replies, "Play piano in smoky clubs" ... and Charlie looks visibly unimpressed as Jo hugs him goodbye before she and Rick head off to the reverse costume party.

"I feel pretty
And witty and bright,
And I pity any guy who isn't me tonight."

"I feel alarmed,
Oh, so alarmed,
It's alarming how alarmed I feel."

Natalie is manning the cash register in Over Our Heads - the first time we've seen the store set this season! - when Jo and Charlie arrive. Natalie passes along a message from Rick that he scored a gig playing piano at the Hudson Grill, and Charlie says he's game for having dinner there later. Beverly Ann enters the store and offers to bake a non-chocolate cake for Charlie...but after she rattles off some healthy but unappetizing sounding alternatives, Charlie says he'd definitely prefer a standard chocolate cake. After Jo and Charlie head off to the shelter, Natalie asks Beverly Ann if she could cover the rest of her shift so she can finish a paper, and Beverly Ann reluctantly agrees.

Charlie blows out the candles of his chocolate birthday cake as the Facts gang (sans Tootie) applauds. Beverly Ann boasts that she cobbled the cake together using nothing but barley, water, carob, and tofu...then tastes it, realizes it's far too wretched for human consumption, and takes it back to the kitchen. After that, Rick hands Charlie a large wrapped gift while Jo smilingly says, "It's from us" ... and Charlie scrunches his face sourly as he opens the box and finds a used saxophone. He mutters, "You shouldn't have done this", reminds the two that he told them he doesn't play anymore, and chides them for wasting their money on something he's never going to use. He half-heartedly adds that he's sorry to be a downer and appreciates that it's the thought that counts...and a miffed looking Rick kisses Jo goodbye and abruptly storms off. Jo chides her dad for acting like such an ungrateful turd towards her new beau, and Charlie comes right out and says he can't staaaaaaand Rick and haaaaaates that he's a low earning piano player. Jo urges him to give Rick a chance and glumly says she hopes he had a nice birthday, the shitty gift notwithstanding, and Charlie snarlingly retorts, "You want me to have a happy birthday? Find another guy to go out with."

"What the fuck is this?"

"That reaction was far more underwhelming than we were expecting."

Jo finds Pippa sleeping in her bed 'cause apparently she's not getting enough REM sleep on her makeshift couch bed. After grumbling about the bizarre sleeping arrangements [that could surely be remedied by adding a bed to the huge communal bedroom that currently only Jo and Blair are occupying], Jo asks Blair what she thinks of Rick, and Blair tells Jo that since she's a social worker and Rick's a nutcase, they're perfectly matched [despite continuing to have zero on-screen chemistry]. Natalie enters the room to borrow some highlighters and chimes in about how "very unique" Rick is ... and when Pippa wakes up and sleepily asks them what they're talking about, they tell her it's girl talk, order her to get her ass back downstairs to her couch bed, and assure her they'll fill her in on the girl talk in the morning. 

The next morning in Over Our Heads, Beverly Ann tells the gals that they're all doing a shittastic job of ordering inventory and keeping the store properly stocked with their bestselling Dollar Tree type crap...and adds that their business isn't showing a profit, no doubt because they're all so busy with their own lives. She proposes shuttering the store so that they can expand the residence and carve out some room for Pippa and Andy (who apparently sleeps in the basement next to the boiler...which seems kinda like child neglect, but OK). The gals say that they're open to making this change, but first need to discuss it with Tootie and Edna [who, by this point in her African adventure, I doubt could possibly give even the tiniest of rat's asses about what happens to Over Our Heads].

Rick arrives to escort Jo to a social work related seminar...but then proposes they ditch the seminar and blow the $150 he made at the Hudson Grill by going out and doing something fun. Jo irritably says she has to attend the seminar for work...and when he jokingly accuses her of being "the enemy of fun", Jo snaps back that, to the contrary, she's a grownup who has responsibilities she needs to live up to, then urges him to not blow all of his cash in case his next piano playing gig doesn't come along right away. Rick tells her her bitching sounds like her father's words, then self-piteously declares, "This is me. And I like me" and that she's only acting all disapprovingly towards his man-childish lackadaisical approach to life 'cause of her father's negative opinion of him. He then suggests they take a pause in hanging out until after Charlie leaves town.

Andy is working on a blueprint for his/Pippa's new living area...and when it's clear that he's in favor of monopolizing most of the space, Beverly Ann tells him to get back to the drawing board and design more than a tiny closet-sized bedroom for Pippa. 

Jo is loafing on the couch when the door opens and a white 'I surrender' flag appears. Jo assumes it's Rick and is surprised when Charlie saunters in carrying a bouquet of flowers. He says he didn't want to leave town with things so sour between them, but continues to insist that Rick should not be her top choice of boyfriends. [Can't say I disagree with him there.] Jo's like, "Uh, isn't it up to me who I go out with?" to which Charlie says that as a father who worries about his daughter, he's very worried about her hooking up with such a loser. Jo sadly tells him that when Rick's not around, she doesn't laugh nearly as much, and Charlie makes a seriously? face and says, "Laughter doesn't pay the bills." Jo implores him to drop it, and Charlie's like 'fine' and abruptly says he's outa here. Jo hands him his saxophone and reminds him to take it home with him, and he gazes at it while staring dreamily into space and reminiscing about how much he loooooved to play saxophone when he was a young, confident looker and had Jo's mom cheering him on. His voice then takes on a bitter edge as he grumbles, "But I didn't make it", and Jo says it's finally dawned on her that this self loathing explains why he took such an instant dislike to Rick. Charlie's like, "Well d'yuh" and says he doesn't want her to tie herself down with a guy like him, aka a fifty-two year old [low earning ex-con] who has nothing to show for his life. When Jo shoots him a hurtful expression, he hastily assures her that she's not nothing 'cause she means everything to him, and she looks satisfied enough with that rapid back pedalling and tearfully coos, "I love you, dad."

"I finally get it. You don't want me to date a guy who's like you."

"No good could possibly come of that."

Rick drops by decked out in a formal suit and declares that he's going to get a 9-5 job involving a desk. Charlie chucklingly says, "Nice to see you" and urges him to take off the tie and loosen up. Jo apologizes to Rick for her bitchitude earlier, and Charlie explains to his daughter's beau that he reminds him a lot of himself when he was young, aimless, and underemployed. He then picks up the saxophone and starts playing...and Rick gets on the piano and jams while Jo joyously looks on.

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