Recap: It's a dark and stormy night, and Blake is about to leave for Las Vegas on business. Krystle says she's worried about him flying during a thunderstorm, but he tells her it's an emergency. She grins and says that a less trusting wife would suspect him of rendezvousing with a "luscious chorus girl" (ew), so Blake goes along with the joke and pretends as though she just discovered his sleazy secret. She tells him she'd like to come along, but he says it's just an overnight trip so there's really no point. Fallon happens to walk past their room at that moment and hears Blake tell Krystle that the purpose of his trip is to meet with Logan Rhinewood. Fallon winces at the mention of the gangster's name, then smiles when she hears Blake tell his wife he'd prefer to take the trip alone. Incidentally, what the hell kind of name is Logan Rhinewood for a supposedly scary mob boss?

Nick's sister drops by his house to beg him to come home and give up on his Blake Carrington revenge fantasy. She reminds him that he moved to Denver three months ago and is no closer to proving that Blake had anything to do with their brother's death. She tells him to forget the past, but he snarks back that he can't - not after he saw Gianni hanging...or being hung (it's still unclear if the guy offed himself, was executed, or murdered). He grumbles about how Blake had the connections to keep Gianni alive and could have saved the poor sod if he'd been willing to make one phone call. Well...that definitely sounds like Blake. His sister asks him what he's going to do if he finds out that Blake really is responsible for Gianni's death, e.g. will he kill Blake? Nick mulls that over for a few seconds and says, "No. It's too good for him", then gets a faraway look in his eyes and says he wants Blake to suffer. Oh honey, take a number. That line is long and deep.

The Carrington jet is en route to Vegas when Fallon suddenly appears and pretends as though she's a stewardess. Blake asks her what the hell she's doing on board, so she explains that she got concerned when she heard that he was meeting with Logan Rhinewood, who she describes as "a gangster and a shark". Blake puffs up his little chest and informs her he's dealt with plenty o' gangsters in his day - and without her interference. He then says he knows she tried to make a deal with Cecil: a delay calling in the loan in exchange for a delay in her divorce from Jeff. Fallon says she just wants to help him out, and he barks back that he doesn't need her damn help...and she argues that he does, then wails about how Cecil is trying to hijack his football team. He explains that he's tried to get the money from elsewhere, but can't. He tells her it's nice of her to be so concerned about him, but warns her to stay out of the way once they arrive in Vegas. He declares that he's not afraid of Rhinewood or any man, then smiles indulgently at his idiot daughter and chuckles, "You are impossible!" and she giggles in response and says, "I know!" 
Sammy Jo is in her bed at the Carrington mansion, unable to sleep because of the thunderstorm. She climbs out of bed and - clad in a skimpy blue t-shirt - runs down the hall to Steven's room. She creeps inside and stares down at him while he sleeps and goes, "Psst...Steven? Can we talk?" and explains to the clearly un-awake man that she's afraid, and then crawls into his bed and cuddles next to him. He must really be a heavy sleeper. The next morning, Steven wakes up and sees her lying beside him and is all, "Wha-at's going on?!" and for a few seconds, Sammy Jo looks like she has no idea how she got there. She tells Steven that she had a really scary dream last night and needed to talk to someone. She wanted to talk to her dad, but he's so far away and that makes her sad..and she looks over at Steven and says, "Like you are sometimes." She asks him what he's sad about, and he tells her it's a long, painful story, and she chirps, "I've got time!" and then giggles about how much that just sounded like a come on. Actually, it didn't really. Steven looks charmed and giggles along with her...and she jumps out of bed, opens the door to make sure the coast is clear, then rushes back to give him a quick kiss. Alexis happens to be walking down the hallway at that moment and sees Sammy Jo leaning over the bed, kissing her son. She quickly tucks herself in a corner of the hallway when Sammy Jo exits Steven's room and scampers back to her own room. Needless to say, Alexis does not look pleased.  

Later, Alexis confronts Krystle about her "peculiar little niece", and Krystle stonily reminds her that her name is Sammy Jo. Alexis derisively replies, "Oh yes, the girl with the most bizarre name, prone to the most bizarre behavior: sliding down banisters at her age." Krystle tells her that whatever Sammy Jo does is none of her bidness, so Alexis argues that seducing her straight-gay son is her bidness. Krystle's all, "Wuh?" so Alexis fills her in about Sammy Jo spending the night in Steven's room. Krystle tells her she's jumping to conclusions, which is itself bizarre behavior, and Alexis retorts, "Is it? Is it?" while dramatically shaking her head from side to side. LOL. She looked kinda funny doing that. Krystle chides her for insulting a member of her family, then asks her if Sammy Jo is "too common" for her rich son...and Alexis haughtily retorts, "You can hardly claim they come from the same sort of stock." Krystle gleefully tells her to brace herself for another connection that will soon link Steven to her family, and when Alexis scrunches her face in confusion, Krystle gleefully announces she's pregnant, then promptly flounces out of the house. Alexis puffs on a cigarette and stares after her in shocked bewilderment. 

A lanky looking thug named Ray Bonning shows up at Blake's hotel room and says he's an executive vice president of Rhinewood Enterprises. Blake is miffed that Rhinewood didn't show, and Ray is about to explain why when Fallon suddenly strolls into the room. Ray's like "The fuck?" so she explains that she was getting bored waiting around. Ray tells her that this is a private meeting to which she was not invited, and Blake growls at her to leave, but she refuses and says that the AC in her room isn't working, and so she's just going to hang out here. Ray refrains from throwing her out and decides that his thugs aren't going to work Blake over after all, and the two sit down at a table and get down to business. Ray explains that Logan couldn't make it 'cause he suddenly came down with a fake ailment, but it's all good 'cause he's been authorized to speak on his boss's behalf. He tells Blake he wants to buy his football team, but Blake snarls that the deal was for 45% of the team, not the entire thing. Ray chuckles and tells him the team stinks, so then Fallon chimes in and points out that they only lost by one point in the last game - plus, they have a hot new quarterback! Ray tells her he's not impressed with the quarterback, so then Fallon tells him his clothes are ugly (yes, she really did). Blake barks, "Fallon!" then tells Ray this meeting was a waste of time, and stands in the middle of the room with his arms crossed like a petulant teenager. Ray immediately caves and concedes, "A deal's a deal" and pulls out a check for the agreed upon $9 million (for 45% of the team)...and Blake smugly basks in the glow of his impressive negotiating skills. 

Ray calls Logan Rhinewood after Blake's private jet takes off and announces that the deal is done. He assures his boss that they'll get the other 55% of the team soon...they're just gonna have to take it one step at a time. Ho hum.

On the Denver-bound private jet, Blake asks Fallon whassup with her gloomy aura. He tells her that when he paid the hotel bill, he noticed that there were no phone charges for her room...and she admits she hasn't spoken to Jeff since sneaking aboard the jet, though she did leave him a vague note informing him she'd be out of town for a day or two. She then comes right out and tells Blake she's avoiding her husband and that marriage with him totally blows. Apparently there's no excitement, surprises, or sense of danger with Jeff. She tells Blake she'd much rather be with someone like him: challenging and unpredictable. OMFG, that's...so disturbing on so many levels. Blake chuckles and tells her, "You don't know how lucky you are. You've never lived with me as a husband. If you did, you'd change your mind pretty quickly." Well d'yuh. Any woman with an ounce of even mediocre self esteem wouldn't tolerate Blake's sexist douchebaggery for more than a week. 

Nick and Claudia are about to go horseback riding together. They notice the stable manager leading a pretty white horse somewhere, and when they inquire about it, the stable manager tells them that Mrs. Carrington has it booked for later. Fantastic.

Krystle drives over to the stables in her fancy new Rolls-Royce and passes Sammy Jo rollerskating in short shorts and purple tube socks. Sammy Jo rolls over and admires her car, then says she wishes Steven would drive his Porsche more...and his nasty-ass pickup truck less. Krystle raises her eyebrows and asks her if she's gone driving with Steven, and Sammy Jo says they once went out for pizza and then gushes, "He's awful naace." Krystle puts on her most serious-pensive expression and tells her niece she doesn't want her to get hurt, and Sammy Jo correctly assumes that her aunt is aware that she spent the night in Steven's room in nothing but her skimpy blue t-shirt. She assures Krystle that nothing happened, and Krystle pretends like she believes her.   

Elsewhere on the estate, Alexis is skeet shooting when Steven stops by. She's off her game today and can't seem to hit her target, but Steven takes a few shots and successfully blows a few of the clay disks apart. Alexis compliments his skill and says that because he's been brought up as a spoiled Carrington, it stands to reason that he's able to do 'rich people things' well. She then tells him she's been talking to Blake about his future, inheritance, and finding the right girl to settle down with. She says he never really had the chance to do that during his college years...or the gay year he spent in New York. She tells him there are plenty of nice, eligible girls in Colorado who probably wouldn't mind being a gay man's beard...and they may not be virgins, but nor are they tramps. Steven says he doesn't need anyone to fix him up with girls and insists, "I can take care of my own needs." Alexis looks as puzzled as the rest of us are about his ever-shifting sexual preferences, then asks him if he thinks Sammy Jo is a major ho. Steven's like, "Um, no", so Alexis tells him she saw the little tart sneaking out of his room early this morning. Steven explains that nothing happened and that she only came to his room 'cause she was frightened of the thunder, then tells his mother that what he does in his bed is his bidness. Alexis says she's only trying to help him find the right girl, then adds, "It's the only way we can erase the past" and Steven looks as irked as he used to while having these same sorts of annoying conversations with Blake and snappishly asks, "My questionable past?!" and Alexis replies, "Exactly." Wait...I'm confused. Wasn't Alexis totally accepting of Steven's gay(ish) lifestyle, like five episodes ago? Let's take a moment to examine this troubling inconsistency..
Excerpt from the Enter Alexis episode recap:

"She tells him he's a good, handsome man - and this causes Steven to raise his eyebrows and repeat, "Man..?" He says he doubts his father would agree, but Alexis tells him not to be ashamed of his gayness and that it doesn't make him any less a man." 

​So there. Suck on that, writers. Alexis tells Steven that his gay relationship never should have happened...nor should the tragedy that ended it. She says she regrets not being around to help out after Ted was killed...but whatever 'cause she's here now. Steven sardonically retorts, "To help shape me up?" and she looks him straight in the eye and says, "Yes."

Jeff is in his ColbyCo office, packing up his things...and Cecil bursts in and asks him whassup. Jeff tells him he's leaving the company 'cause of how he excluded Blake from the offshore deal (how could he possibly still care so much about this?), as well as the abrupt way he called in the loan on Blake. Cecil explains that the board made him call in the loan, but Jeff lets out a caustic laugh and says he ain't buying it. Cecil mumbles something about how he's been a father to him ever since his father was killed, then reminds him that he's the last of the Colbys and will one day have to take over "the empire". Jeff tells his uncle he doesn't give a rat's ass about the empire and says it was a mistake to work here, as was his marriage to Fallon. He now regrets that boneheaded decision and plans to address the issue with his idiot wife next time he sees her. Yay Jeff! You go!

Alexis spots a pensive looking Krystle riding around the estate on the pretty white horse. She glares at her, then glances down at her skeet shooting rifle and suddenly gets a wonderful, awful idea. She hides behind a tree and fires off the rifle, then watches as the white horse goes ape-shit, throws Krystle to the ground, then drags her behind it for awhile. Alexis peeks from behind a tree and watches the mishap with mute satisfaction.

Nick and Claudia are riding together, having another one of their boring conversations. She tells him she's thinking about getting a job, and is planning to talk to Blake about possible opportunities. When Nick makes a blech face, she explains that the old goat has been really kind to her, and that he's hired people to search for her missing daughter. Nick starts asking probing questions about...well, I dunno 'cause I kind of checked out during this scene, and Claudia gets mad and rides off alone. A few seconds later, Nick notices Krystle's white horse trotting around with no Krystle atop. He asks the horse where Krystle is, then grabs its reins and takes it with him to look for her. A minute later, he finds her laying on the ground unconscious, and rushes over and checks her pulse.

Krystle's sitting up in her bed, waiting for the doctor to arrive. Joseph apologizes to her for not warning her more about "that animal", but Krystle insists she's fine. She tells Nick she feels really dumb for falling, then sheepishly admits she knows fuck all about horseback riding. He asks her if she's in any pain, and she assures him she's not...but says she can't seem to stop shaking. He tells her it's normal, so she allows her nerves to go wild and starts crying...and Nick caresses her face as he soothingly tells her to let it all out.  
Alexis enters the mansion and tells Joseph she has a baby gift for Krystle. That's...kind of diabolical. Joseph tells her that the lady of the manor is not available 'cause she just suffered an accident, and Alexis fake gasps, "How terrible!" Nick, who's eavesdropping a few feet away, tells Alexis that Krystle can't have visitors for awhile, so Alexis asks him to please let her know how Krystle is doing once he gets word from the doctor. She contorts her lips in a funny looking pouty expression and then says, "I really do care." LOL.

Blake and Fallon arrive in Denver. Blake tells his daughter to go to the mansion and inform Krystle he'll be home once he gives Cecil the what-for and rubs the $9 million check in his face. Fallon giggles and agrees to do the favor.

Blake is in Cecil's office, ranting about how he (Cecil) has been resentful of him ever since he first arrived in Colorado. Blake smugly accuses his former friend of hating the fact that he was "a new wildcatter, a self-made man" even though he didn't quite have Cecil's brand of polish. Cecil openly admits he's rich snob, then recalls that Alexis was the person who got him (Blake) to circulate among Colorado's elite...and that it was she who introduced the two of them. Blake reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelop, which Cecil assumes is a sales contract for the football team. Blake then starts bitching about how their friendship has been a sham, and tells Cecil to "choke on it", along with this $9 million check. Cecil's all, "Wha-a?!" when he realizes the loan has just been paid in full. What a lame-ass storyline. Just as Blake is about to storm off, Cecil's secretary buzzes to announce that there's an emergency call for him. He snatches up the receiver and goes, "Krystle..?? What happened to her?!"

Fallon has just finished showering and is bickering with Jeff about Vegas. He's mad that she didn't tell him where she was going, blah blah...and she asks him who the hell he is to dare question her. He barks, "Your husband, babe! Obviously the last guy on the list!" - LOL - and then grabs her by the hair and and smooches her hard before storming out of the room. Fallon storms out after him, clad only in a towel, and suddenly becomes intrigued by the sight of Nick, who has just exited Krystle's room. She asks him what kind of shrink he is, then starts acting all coquettish, and he flirts back and asks her if the towel she's wearing is part of a new Paris line. She giggles, mutters a few words in French and eyes him seductively as he ambles off down the hall.  

Nick arrives home to a very cozy atmosphere. Fallon is there - ack! - lounging on his couch in a skimpy red dress. She tells him she climbed in through his window, and he asks her if he's supposed to be surprised by this unexpected pleasure. Fallon invites him to take advantage of her, then walks over to him and presses her body against his, and the two start making out. Post coitus, the two lay by the fire and Fallon suddenly blurts out the name of a soccer player she once doinked in Milan...and the two discuss the tradition of long Italian names, blah blah. Fallon says she could use a few more names, and Nick suddenly gets snappish and goes, "You people never get enough of anything!" Fallon, who doesn't seem fazed by the weirdness of that outburst, tells him she likes him and that he's solving all of her personal problems (huh?). She asks him what took him so long to get to Denver, and he gets a faraway look in his eyes and replies, "It doesn't matter. I'm here now." It's really odd that no one ever notices what a weirdo this guy is.

Back at the mansion, Krystle tells Blake that the doctor instructed her to avoid horses for the rest of her pregnancy. Well d'yuh, isn't it a general consensus that horseback riding is an unsafe thing for pregnant women to be doing? Suddenly, Krystle scrunches her face in pain, and Blake immediately grabs the phone and calls for help. In the next scene, she's in the back of an ambulance, clutching Blake's hand. He tries to assure her she'll be OK, but she wails that she's losing their baby and then starts crying. He shakes his head in denial while she moans, "Oh God! Blake!"

Recap: Krystle is being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance - and Blake is at her side, clutching her hand. She tearfully wails, "I can't lose our child! I can't!" and Blake half-heartedly tries to assure her that everything will turn out OK.

Fallon's hanging out at Nick's house, staring at a photo of Nick and his younger brother. Nick asks her if she's going to get dressed and be on her way now, but she ignores his not-so-subtle hint and flops herself on top of his bed and tells him she's in no hurry. He asks her if she knows what time it is, and she's like, "I don't care", and Nick replies, "Maybe your husband does." Fallon shrugs and says she comes and goes as she pleases, and Nick grumbles that it seems to be a Carrington trait not to give a crap about anybody but themselves. Well d'yuh. Fallon tells him he's much sweeter when he's in the sack, then remarks on how little he seems to think of Blake...but Nick just shrugs and says he doesn't give Blake much thought and considers him a client, nothing more. He tries to give her the heave-ho again by reminding her it's getting late, and she assures him she's leaving...but before she does, she wants to know why he's such a man of mystery - not that she's complaining, since she likes her men to be upbeat one minute, then broody the next. She asks him why he left New York, so he tells her the pace was too hectic...and says by now his patients have likely been referred to better doctors than he. Fallon says she doesn't buy his fake modesty and wants to know what he's hiding, then leans in and gives him a long smooch. After that, the two stare at each mutely while the camera pans back and forth between close close-ups of their faces. 

Jeff arrives at the hospital wearing a dorky sweater vest. He finds Blake in the waiting room and asks him how Krystle is doing, and Blake says he's still waiting for word, but is hopeful it'll be good news. He asks Jeff where Fallon is, and Jeff says he has no clue where she took off to after returning from Vegas. Blake shakes his head in dismay at the spoiled brat he raised and says, "She's just going to take a little more time to settle down...but she will." Jeff informs him that he quit ColbyCo to protest the dickish way Cecil called in his loan. Blake is all, "Wuh?!" then promptly invites him to come work at Denver-Carrington...and when Jeff is all, "Wuh?!" Blake tells him he's far more loyal and trustworthy than his own children, and this is evidenced by the fact that he's the one at the hospital right now, not either of them. Jeff goes off in search of a pay phone to call the mansion and see if Fallon has turned up yet...and while he's doing that, Blake has a series of superfluous flashbacks: him ordering Krystle to carry his spawn (gross), him giving her the keys to her new Rolls-Royce, Krystle showing him the silver spoon she bought for their baby.

Alexis lounges on her couch in a flowy white robe and calls the hospital to try to get information on Krystle's status. The receptionist (or whoever) asks her if she's a member of the family - and Alexis admits she's not, but says she's the first Mrs. Carrington and is therefore entitled to know how her former husband's wife is doing. LOL. The receptionist tells her to go pee up a rope and hangs up on her to take another call. Haha! 

Sammy Jo has brought Steven to a house party so he can meet her bonehead stock car racing friends. One of the yokels is shocked when he learns that Steven doesn't race cars, and says he doubts he'll get very far "with Miss Hot-rod here". He then challenges Steven to a race, but Steven declines...however, when the yokel taunts him by calling him a turkey, the name-calling proves to be too much and he agrees to race. It's all very Grease, but without the charismatic rivalry of Danny Zuko and that Craterface guy. Sammy Jo needlessly announces to her friends that she and Steven are going to boogie all night long, and then steers him toward the makeshift dance floor.

Blake is pacing the halls of the hospital when the doctor finally emerges from the ER, looking very sweaty and tired. He stares sheepishly at Blake, then tells him they did everything they could. He assures him that Krystle will be fine, but she lost the baby. Blake tears up and says that the child meant so much to his wife...but then is like, "Oh well, maybe next time." The doctor tells him that there probably shouldn't be a next time, 'cause apparently Krystle has an abnormality of the uterus...so then Blake gets all pissy and blames him for not telling Krystle about her bum uterus before she started down the pregnancy route. The doctor tells him that there's no way to detect this type of abnormality in a regular examination, and Blake barks, "Isn't there?!" The doctor shakes his head sadly, and Blake apologizes for being such a snappish dickwad.

Fallon returns to the mansion, still clad in the skanky red dress she seduced Nick in. She runs into Alexis, who wryly remarks that it's a little late to be arriving home. Fallon tells her she couldn't sleep and went for a long drive, and a skeptical looking Alexis invites her to come by her studio for a cup of coffee, then warns her that it's sure to be ghastly, 'cause apparently she doesn't know how to make very good coffee.  

In the next scene, Fallon is drinking her mother's coffee, making a blech face to illustrate its ghastliness. Alexis asks her where she really spent the night, then says she doesn't believe her fib 'cause the red dress she's wearing is way too slutty for just a drive. Fallon petulantly asks her where she thinks she's been, and Alexis doesn't skip a beat before retorting, "In somebody's bed." Fallon glares at her, snarks that her coffee tastes like poison, then springs up from the couch. She orders her mother to stay out of her life - as in, the way she's been doing for the past sixteen years. Alexis says she's only trying to advise her, so Fallon snaps back that she doesn't need her advice. Alexis tells her that in her heyday, she too was quite the slut - LOL - and Fallon says she gets that she's trying to tell her to be sure that her sleazy extracurricular activities are worth what it may cost her, marriage-wise. She asks her mother if she now regrets cheating on Blake while they were married, and Alexis says, "Maybe", then adds that some women don't appreciate what they have until they lose it.

Krystle is in her hospital bed having a bad dream...and after a few seconds of flailing around, she wakes up and starts screaming unintelligibly. A nurse hurries in the room, followed by Blake. He tries to comfort her as she wails and cries about how badly she wanted the baby, blah blah...then promises Blake that next time his bun is in her oven, she'll be very careful. He just stares at her mutely, and the nurse gives her a shot to sedate her.

Fallon's lying in bed, dreamily recalling her doinkfest with Nick. Jeff enters the room, glances at the slutty red dress scrunched up near the foot of the bed, then asks his wife where she's been all night. She tells him she went to the lake to be alone, but Jeff clearly doesn't buy it and glares at her with his strange looking caterpillar eyebrows furrowed upwards. He tells her about Krystle's miscarriage, and Fallon says she's very sorry for what her stepmother just lost. Jeff then asks her what she lost yesterday and quips, "Your amateur standing?" Oh, SNAP! He glares at her some more before turning and storming out of the room.

Claudia's sitting by the pool reading the paper, dressed in a grisly looking velour tracksuit and a silly headband. Alexis saunters over and asks her if she heard a car speeding away last night. Claudia informs her it was an ambulance that transported Krystle to the hospital, then adds that she just heard from Jeff that she lost the baby. Alexis fake gasps, "How dreadful!" then tells Claudia she must know what it's like to lose a child. Claudia says that she at least had sixteen great years with her spawn, so Alexis assures her she'll find her daughter someday (no she won't) then clucks sympathetically about how awful it must have been for her to have to testify about doinking Steven while her husband was present in the courtroom. Claudia asks her why she's even remotely interested in her, since she's just a lodger at Carrington manor...and Alexis chuckles and says she too is just a lodger, then says she's grateful to her for any heterosexual happiness she may have brought to Steven's life. She then shifts the conversation back to Krystle and says she just suffered a great loss...but the difference is that she's not a lodger - she's the mistress of the house. Alexis exclaims, "She still has everything! Everything!" and then rushes off. Er...OK. ??
 
Blake summons Joseph to the breakfast room and tells him to instruct the driver to pick up Andy from the airport and deliver him to the mansion. Fallon sweeps into the room and expresses her condolences to Blake about the baby, then apologizes for not being at the hospital. She fibs and tells him she was at the movies (must have been the late late show) and promises to buy flowers and drop by the hospital to express her fake sympathy to her stepmother. Blake cautions her not to be her usual bitchy self when she visits Krystle, 'cause she's bound to be extra sad when she finds out she can't have any more children. 

Steven and two of Sammy Jo's yokel friends are racing their cars around a track...and they're doing this without helmets (or probably seatbelts). Sammy Jo and the rest of her friends are cheering the drivers on, and the race goes on for what seems like a looong time. The yokel who called Steven a turkey at the house party calls him a turkey again, and then the other yokel rear ends him. Steven finally ends the torture that is this car race when he abruptly comes to a stop after nearly wiping out. Sammy Jo wobbles over to him in her Candies and hotpants to make sure he's OK. He climbs out of the car and starts rambling about how he loves this race track, loves car racing, and loves her. Say what? The two start smooching...and eventually the two yokels pull up beside them and ask whaddup with Steven getting kisses after he lost the race. Sammy Jo ignores their teasing and asks Steven if there's someplace private they can go to get it on.  

Steven takes Sammy Jo to his lake cabin. He gets the fireplace going, and Sammy Jo sashays into the room and removes her Candies. The two start kissing intensely - but a few seconds into it, he gently pushes her away. She asks him what's wrong, and he stares back at her with his trademark I'm-so-confused-and-tortured-all-the-time expression and says he shouldn't have brought her here. She reminds him that he declared his love for her - like an hour ago, and he replies, "But I'm not in love with you, Sammy Jo." He tells her he doesn't want to hurt her, then says he wouldn't want Krystle to get the idea that he's taking advantage of her niece. Well that's just fickle and lame.

Alexis enters the study where Blake has just poured himself a cup of coffee. She extends her condolences about the lost baby, and he thanks her and tells her that Krystle is doing much better today. She informs him that something happened with Steven while he was in Vegas...and by happened, she means she caught him and Sammy Jo in bed together (sort of). Blake scrunches his face with a funny mixture of relief and disapproval, then asks her if she confronted Steven about it. She says she did and that he claimed nothing happened, and so Blake shrugs and says there's nothing more to be done about the matter. Alexis says she doesn't want their son cavorting with "that particular girl", and Blake testily replies, "You mean my wife's niece?" Alexis wisely backpedals and says it's not like Krystle had anything to do with her white trash niece's upbringing...but insists that the girl and her "uncouth ways" bug her. She contends that Sammy Jo would make no kind of wife for Steven or a mother to their children, and Blake chuckles and tells her she's kind of leaping to some pretty radical conclusions. Alexis reminds him about their son's gayness and says, "I've known young men who have decided that homosexuality isn't their lifestyle after all. So they decide to settle down and marry." Unfortunately, however, some of these straight-gay men end up marrying the wrong woman - like the first tart they pick up in a bar. Egads! Blake promises to talk to Steven about his future marriage prospects, and Alexis thanks him. She then switches gears and tells him that she bought a little present for the now deceased baby and would like to remove it from the master bedroom so that Krystle doesn't see it when she returns home, and Blake gives her his permission to go upstairs and retrieve it.

Claudia has just finished a swim...and as she climbs out of the pool, Nick appears from out of nowhere and starts clapping at her. He reminds her that she missed their therapy session, and she just shrugs and says she felt like a swim instead. He asks her if she's still planning on hitting up Blake for a job, and she tells him yes...and then he brings up her missing husband and daughter and asks her what she keeps running from, so she starts grumbling about her history of talking to psychiatrists and how tired she is of it. Probably about as tired as I am of listening to their nonsensical conversations. She says she hates Matthew for absconding with their child, and then she and Nick bicker about something, blah blah...and a few seconds later, she storms off in the direction of the mansion.   

The doctor checks Krystle's vitals and makes a notation on her chart. She asks him when she can start trying for another baby (ew) and the doctor says they should put off that conversation for the time being. She's all, "Wha-a?!" and demands to know what he's hiding from her, and he just stares at her mutely while she bursts into tears. 

Alexis is in the master bedroom, spraying some of Krystle's perfume on herself. Joseph catches her and demands to know what she's doing, and she snarks back that he should have better things to do than skulk around the mansion...and also that he should address her as Mrs. Carrington. He ignores that edict and reminds her that this is no longer her bedroom, so she explains that she was removing the baby present she brought by earlier, then says it's such a pity about the miscarriage. He glares at her skeptically, so she needlessly reminds him that she gave birth to two healthy children (plus the two that come out of the woodwork later in the series), and says that it's prolly 'cause she's a very strong person...unlike Krystle, who's clearly too much of a weakling to carry a child to term.  

Andy arrives at the mansion and tells Blake that the State Department is refusing to help him get back his oil from the Middle East. He grumbles, "That maniac out there will not release the tankers." Blake asks who this maniac - this Rashid Ahmed - is, and Andy says that according to rumor, he's the man behind the military coup. Blake complains that Denver-Carrington is paying a fortune for the lease of those tankers, and he's worried that his company is going to bankrupt over this Middle Eastern clusterfuck.
Alexis descends the grand staircase and walks past the study, then pauses when she hears Blake and Andy talking. She hears Blake say that they have to find a way to get to Rashid Ahmed, since he's the one who has control over his oil...and then Andy says he has no idea how to find this shadowy character. Alexis suddenly smiles to herself...which I'll take to mean that she has an idea how he can be found.

Steven and Sammy Jo return to the mansion in his yellow pickup. Sammy Jo is miffed that he didn't say a word to her during the 45 minute drive home, and he just shrugs and tells her he's beat. She asks him if he's suddenly not into her 'cause she told him she's been with other boys, but he says no...and that there's no need to be ashamed of her slutty past. He calls her a sweet girl, then tells her that whoever she ends up with will be one lucky guy. Mmm...not so much, as it turns out.  

Alexis is back in her studio, on the phone with an old friend. She tells her friend that she needs a favor - namely, how can she get in touch with their old pal, Rashid Ahmed. (!)

Steven drops in on Claudia and tells her he spent the night with someone, and that he was all ready to doink her...but then he stopped himself 'cause he couldn't stop thinking about her and how he wished she had been with him instead. Claudia coldly replies, "Is that it?" and Steven looks puzzled and says he wants her to divorce her absent husband so he can marry her. She tells him that that's crazy - well, d'yuh - and that he should find himself someone who's "young, fresh, and healthy" (and, let's face it, male). He insists, "But that's you!" so she argues that she's old, stale, and unwell. She then says she can't possibly marry him 'cause she's still in love with Matthew, and Steven puts on his confused/sad/tortured expression again and leaves the room. I'll assume that Claudia was either fibbing to Nick about hating Matthew or fibbing to Steven about loving Matthew...or that she's suddenly developed early-onset Alzheimer's and has no memory anymore of what she's saying to anyone.

Steven glumly returns to his room and finds Blake waiting for him. Blake asks him if he was with Sammy Jo all night, then makes it clear that he approves of the hookup 'cause she's nice, pretty, and his wife's flesh and blood. That said, he explains to his straight-gay son that it may not be the best idea to plunge into the first relationship that comes along, and Steven gets irked and reminds his father that he's an adult and tells him to get off his back about his relationships. He snaps, "Save your fatherly concern for your new son." Blake grimaces and tells him that Krystle suffered a miscarriage, so he's the only son he's ever going to have. Except for Adam, his long-lost son who crawls out from under a rock during Season 3.

Nick is visiting Krystle, but she's just staring at the wall despondently. He tells her not to give up on everything, but she just snarls at him to leave her alone. She's bummed because she can't ever give Blake a child, and Nick tells her that no one is guaranteed against suffering and then chides her for feeling sorry for herself. This prompts Krystle to start sobbing, and Nick says, "That's right...cry. But dear God, don't cry for him!!" LOL.

Fallon arrives at the hospital for her obligatory visit with Krystle. She runs into Nick in the hall and is pleased to see him. Nick, however, acts all casual about their bump-into and tells her that last night was "an unexpected pleasure" and makes it clear that the next time they hook up, it'll be on his timetable. Fallon scrunches her face in annoyance and tells him she suddenly feels shabby, like she's a page in his appointment book. She snidely asks him if Krystle is another such page, and he doesn't answer and saunters off down the hall. That was kind of a weird way to end the episode.

Recap: Fallon admonishes Steven for not perjuring himself on the stand in order to corroborate her made-up testimony. She's worried it might sway the jurors to convict Blake, so Steven explains to the nitwit that he told the truth in court 'cause it's the law...plus he doubts that committing perjury will help Blake's case anyway. Fallon snaps back that he hasn't exactly been truthful, e.g. when he told Blake he was going straight and then went back to "that guy". That's...a completely nonsensical analogy. Steven reminds her that that guy's name is Ted - and that he's the guy Blake's on trial for murdering. Fallon asks her brother what he expected Blake to do when he walked [stormed] into his room and found him and Ted in coitus [hugging goodbye]? Steven tells her he expected Blake to listen to him and to the truth, so then Fallon accuses him of doing all this on purpose to get revenge on Blake - and by all this, she means...well, I have no idea. She accuses Steven of being "the guilty one", meaning that he (not St. Blake) is to blame for Ted's death; after all, he practically invited the guy over to the mansion to die! Steven glares at his deranged sister for a few seconds, then quietly stalks off with his head held down.

That evening at the mansion, Blake tells Andy he thinks he should testify...but Andy says it's a bad idea, then snappishly lectures Blake about how a courtroom isn't the same as a boardroom, where he has total control over everything. Blake bitchily reminds his lawyer lackey that he's still on his payroll, which means he works for him and therefore has to do everything he says. A deflated Andy turns to Krystle and implores her to talk some sense into her husband, then explains that saying the wrong thing on the stand is all it takes for a defendant to destroy his case. Krystle tells Andy she's staying mute on the subject and will defer to whatever her douchebag husband thinks is best. Fallon suddenly interjects and snarks that Krystle just wants Blake to end up in jail so she can get her hands on all of his stuff. Jeff snaps, "Watch your mouth!" and Fallon snaps back at him to stay out of it, since he's not really a part of this family. It's truly a mystery why Jeff hasn't made a beeline over to the nearest divorce lawyer to sever all ties with this spoiled troll.

Fallon asks Krystle why she came back - but before Krystle can respond, she accuses her of getting it on with Matthew. Blake gets mad and yells at her to shut up, and Fallon yells back that Krystle only returned to Carrington manor to pick his bones...and then criticizes her performance at the board meeting. Blake declares he's proud of the way Krystle handled herself at the board meeting - as well he should, since he's the one who forced her to go, and told her exactly what to say and do. Fallon starts railing about how Krystle believes Blake killed Ted...and Blake wearily tells her to shut the fuck up, and reminds her that they were all a family once. He bows his head shamefully and moans about losing his son, and tells Fallon she's losing her brother...and on top of that, he just insulted his best friend.  He apologizes to Andy (Andy's his best friend? Seriously?) and Andy announces that he's going home, so Blake and Krystle walk him out. Now that they're alone, Jeff asks Fallon if she lied in court today, and she starts crying and shaking her head. He asks her again, and she replies, "If I did, can you understand why? Can Steven?" Mmm...no and no. Jeff says that Blake was right about her losing her brother, and this makes Fallon cry harder, and she wails, "What am I going to do?!" Jeff sighs deeply, then walks across the room to sit next to her and comfort her with a hug.​

The next day, the prosecution rests its case. Andy calls Joseph to the stand, and he concurs with the maid's testimony (sort of) and testifies that they were standing near the foyer when Blake arrived home on that fateful night. Andy asks him if Blake exclaimed, "I'll kill him!" when he was told that Steven was in his room with his former lover, and Joseph denies that that's true. Andy asks him to explain, so Joseph says he heard Blake say, "I'll get him" which he took to mean, "I'll get him out of the house." OK...I'm afraid I'm going to have to object to this testimony, as it is an inaccurate characterization of what actually occurred that night. If it pleases the court, I present you with Exhibit B, from my recap of The Separation episode: 

"Meanwhile, Blake arrives home (uh oh!) and asks Joseph if Krystle came crawling back to him yet...and he's like, "Uh...no." He tells Blake that Steven, however, is home...and that he's upstairs with Mr. Dinard. Blake immediately flies into a rage and snarls, "In my house?! I'll kill him!" He storms down the hallway and up the stairs, and the camera-work gets really jerky and wavy to underscore his uncontainable rage at Ted for having the nerve to drop by. "

Jake Dunham gets up to cross examine Mr. Majordomo and asks him if he's sure Blake said get and not kill. Joseph stands by his alternate version of reality, so Jake brings up a hearing loss condition that's apparently on his medical records. Joseph brushes it off and insists that he can hear just fine, so Jake tests his hearing by murmuring, "I'll kill him." Joseph says he heard him (meaning Jake) just say, "I'll kill him" just fine...and for some reason, the spectators start tittering and oohing and aahing as though Jake had suddenly broken the case wide open. Weird.

Andy calls Krystle to the stand next. He asks her if Blake has a violent disposition, and she pensively stares over at the ogre and says, "No." Andy then asks her if he ever gets angry, and Krystle says, "Of course" and adds that at times [as in, all the time] he gets moody and argumentative, especially when he's under pressure. Andy asks her, "Does he ever get violent?" and Krystle pensively recalls the night the drunken monster raped her in their bed, then replies, "No." Liar! Perjurer! Enabler! Andy asks her if she loves Blake, and she says she definitely does love the old goat...and for some reason, Fallon is shooting her a very squinty stink-eye from the spectators' box. Andy then asks her if Blake loves Steven, and she says he does...very much. [Not sure how this is relevant, or even permitted, since it's impossible for anyone to truly know what's in another person's heart.] Andy dismisses Krystle from the witness box, then calls on a woman named Sarah, who's the frizzy haired hooker Steven hung out with at the bordello but never actually doinked. Blake discreetly asks Andy if this is the witness they had discussed, and Andy says it is, then grimly adds that it's a waste of time and that he'd prefer to have Claudia on the stand. Blake adamantly refuses to allow it...and I still can't figure why he would give a damn about the woman's fragile mental state. 

Sarah testifies that she works as a masseuse who gives "rub downs and stuff like that" to her paying customers. She happily admits that she works at a bordello, and that she once entertained a customer named Steven Carrington. Andy asks her if Steven's massage ended with a bang, and she smirks and testifies that they did, in fact, hit the sheets together. Liar! Perjurer! Since almost every witness in this trial is a damn liar, I'm afraid I'm going to have to once again interrupt the proceedings and present to the court Exhibit C - an excerpt from my recap of The Bordello: 

"She helps Steven unbutton his shirt and leads him over to the bed...but when she urges him to lie down next to her, he wigs out and says he's only there 'cause Walter made him come. She looks hurt and asks if this was a bet or something, and he says that while he has generally no interest in having sex with females, he wouldn't mind it if they just talked until his allotted doinking time runs out." 

​Andy tries to get more details about their encounter and asks, "Did it appear to you that Steven Carrington was a homosexual?" Sarah pretends to carefully mull that over, then says, "It did not appear so...at least not with me." She then claims that Steven stayed half an hour over the regular time limit...and this prompts the spectators to burst out laughing, while Steven sits perfectly still and looks mortified. Andy asks her if Steven ever visited her again, and she says he did return a few more times to get his wick dipped. 

When it's Jake's turn to cross examine, he comes right out and asks Sarah if she's a prostitute, and she's like, "Well, d'yuh." Jake rolls his eyes and declares that since her line of work constitutes a felony, her testimony is worthless...not to mention completely irrelevant in trying to establish Blake's guilt or innocence with regard to Ted's demise. Jake needlessly asks Sarah to describe her job, so she saucily replies, "I do anything you like" and all the spectators start hooting and hollering. The judge tries in vain to restore order, and Andy discreetly orders a courtroom flunky to deliver a subpoena to Claudia.

At the book store, Claudia's all discombobulated when she's handed the subpoena, and she tells the courtroom flunky she needs to make a quick call to her husband. When Matthew answers, she tells him she loves him and knows she's always been a burden for him...but that "things will be better this way". She abruptly hangs up, leaving Matthew confused and all, "Wha-a?!" on the other end. He immediately dashes out to his car and races home...and when he runs into the garage, the phone is ringing. It's Jake, who advises him to get to the courthouse like pronto, 'cause Claudia has just been subpoenaed, and the experience is bound to be rough on her. 

Andy calls Claudia to the stand, and Blake looks pissed off and snarls to Andy that he had directed him not to do this. Andy explains that he's doing his best to keep him out of jail...and that he can either fire him, or shut up about it and go along with the program.

Claudia testifies that she met Ted on only one occasion: the night before he died. She explains that he came by the book store, and that they argued about Steven. She says that Ted had come to Denver to try to talk Steven into returning to New York with him - and this concerned her 'cause Steven was in the process of transitioning into a straight man. Andy asks her how well she came to know Steven, and she says they were, uh, friends...but when Andy probes more deeply, Claudia says she doesn't want to answer 'cause she's married with a daughter (a fact she conveniently forgot about when she began her affair with Steven). Andy tells her she has to respond, and suddenly Steven springs up from his seat and demands to know what he's trying to do. The judge yells at him to sit back down. Andy asks Claudia if she and Steven ever doinked...and, naturally, Matthew just happens to enter the courtroom at that exact moment. Claudia fidgets nervously and says, "Yes...several times" and notices that her husband is now sitting in the spectators' box. Andy asks her if Steven ever demonstrated any signs of gayness, and Jake objects to this stupid line of questioning and says that homosexuals can sometimes swing both ways. Andy rephrases the question, and it comes off sounding even stupider: "Would you say Steven Carrington is a thoroughly and totally normal heterosexual partner?" Claudia goes, "Yes" and suddenly Matthew becomes enraged, jumps out of his chair, and lumbers toward the witness box, glowering at his wife. He then abruptly re-directs his rage toward Blake and lunges at him and starts wailing on him - and it's awesome! The judge pounds his gavel and orders the bailiffs to restrain and arrest Matthew. As the bailiffs wrestle him to the floor, Claudia rushes out of the courtroom in tears...and Blake and his clan look shaken by the unexpected attack.

When Lindsay arrives home from school, Claudia is rushing out the front door with a suitcase. She tells her daughter they're leaving and orders her to get in the car, which she does. Matthew, meanwhile, is placed in a holding cell at the local jail.

Blake is on the stand, and he's testifying about how his children's mother abandoned them, and that he wishes he'd been a better father, blah blah. He says that Steven currently works in a refinery, and that he's proud of him for learning the oil business from the ground up, then says he loves him very much. Andy asks him if he was trying to protect his son from "an abnormal life, a life of homosexuality" and Blake says that's exactly what he was trying to do. He describes how Steven had returned to Colorado to "straighten up and fulfill his life as a man"...but then troublemaking Ted showed up to derail Steven's quest for a manly life. Andy asks him how he felt when he learned that Ted was in his house, and Blake admits he got angry and thinks he said, "I'll get him", but then concedes he might have said, "I'll kill him." [You did say that - don't make me insert Exhibit B again.] Andy asks Blake if his intent was to hurt Ted, and he says no - he just wanted the gay man out of his son's life. He then describes what happened: he climbed the stairs, burst into Steven's room and saw Ted with his arms around Steven. Andy asks him if he had any knowledge that they were saying goodbye, and Blake says he didn't. Andy then raises his voice and barks, "You did not! Did not!" Calm down, idiot...we're not deaf - we heard Blake say it the first time. Blake claims he ordered Ted to take his hands off his son, and Andy swiftly interjects and asked him if there was any violence between him and Ted. Blake admits there was (wuh?), and that he ordered him out of the house [no he didn't!!] then says, "Ted came at me." Andy raises his voice for dramatic effect and bellows, "And did you try to protect yourself from this younger and stronger man coming at you?!!" Blake says he may have, but it was all so confusing. Andy suddenly punches his fist in Blake's direction, and Blake instinctively pulls back and cringes. Andy barks, "Is that the way it happened?!" LOL. He asks him if he raised his hands to defend himself, and Blake mulls that over, likes the way that version of events sounds, and goes, "Uh, yeah...OK." LOL. Andy asks Blake if at any time he wished death upon Ted, and Blake raises his brows as if the notion is far too crazy to possibly be true and says, "No." Andy then asks him to reveal what it felt like to enter [barrel into] his son's room and find a gay man hugging him, and Blake gets a faraway look in his eyes and says he only remembers seeing the room...that special place where he once carried his newborn son and placed him in a crib...where they played and wrestled together, where Steven almost died of pneumonia. I don't know what any of this has to do with anything. As Blake tears up, the camera pans around the courtroom to capture everyone's reactions: Krystle, pensive; Jeff, bored; Fallon, openly sobbing. 

Claudia is speeding out of town with Lindsay, who keeps asking her where they're going...then starts wailing that she doesn't want to go anywhere. Claudia just stares straight ahead, her hands clutching the steering wheel, and assures her wailing child that she's doing the right thing.

It's Jake's turn to cross examine Blake. He asks him if he's talked to Ted's parents since his death - answer: no - then muses about how those poor people probably find Ted's room a very empty, special place right now. Heh. Andy objects and says that comments about Ted's bedroom are "immaterial and irrelevant", despite the fact that he just let Blake nostalgically babble on and on about Steven's room. The judge sustains the objection and tells Jake to stick to the facts of the case - which seems...oh whatever, judge. Jake asks Blake what was going through his head after he blurted out I'll kill him, then points out that he had to walk forty steps to reach the stairs, climb twenty-five steps to reach the second floor, then walk fifteen steps to get to his son's room. Blake admits he was angry and wanted Ted out of his house, but denies that murder was on his mind. Jake asks him if Steven and Ted were in bed together when he burst in, and Blake's like, "Er...no", so then he asks him if the two were full clothed at the time, and Blake's like, "Er...yes." Jake looks perplexed and asks Blake what exactly it was that the two men were doing that so inflamed his sensibilities. Well put, counsellor. Blake explains that Ted was embracing his son, so Jake points out that since it was a consensual hug, Steven was also embracing Ted. Blake shakes his head and nonsensically mutters, "I don't remember" then adds that it kinda looked like Ted was seducing his son. LOL. Jake studies him for a moment and asks him if he's familiar with the word homophobia. Blake says he is, and defines it as a dislike of homosexuals - but Jake corrects him and calls it a pathological hatred of gays. He then asks Blake if he's a homophobe, and Blake looks fake shocked and is all, "What?! Me?! Of course not!" LOL. Jake ends his questioning there, and Andy announces that the defence rests. Jake springs up and announces that he has a rebuttal witness, who should be arriving in a few minutes. He then mutters to no one in particular, "And this should blow them right out of the water."

Lindsay starts ugly crying and tells Claudia she wants to talk to her dad. Suddenly, she stares straight ahead and screams at the sight of a car parked on the side of the road ahead of them. Claudia somehow loses control of the vehicle and plows into it and ends up almost driving over top of it. If she survives, someone should really confiscate her driver's license.   

Matthew is moping in his cell when someone comes by to inform him that his wife and daughter were in a car accident and have been taken to the hospital. Matthew gets all angst-ridden and says he needs to get sprung from jail immediately.  

Everyone in court is breathlessly awaiting the surprise rebuttal witness...and just when the judge is about to lose his patience, Jake is told his witness has arrived. The doors open, and a very chichi looking woman enters. She's decked out in a fantastically tailored white and black suit, and her face is obscured by dark sunglasses and a large floppy hat with a veil attached to it. LOL. As she silently makes her way toward the witness box, everyone stares at her in awe. Blake asks Andy what she's doing here, and Fallon gasps and exclaims to Jeff, "My God! That's my mother!" We then get superfluous close ups of everyone's stunned expressions, but no more footage of Alexis, which makes me doubt that the mysterious woman behind the veil is actually Joan Collins. 

During the recess, Blake orders Joseph to go back to the mansion and retrieve a bunch of seismic charts and personally deliver them to Cecil. Joseph clucks sympathetically about the damage Alexis is doing to him on the stand, especially considering how "good to her" he was. Blake grimaces and says that gratitude was never Alexis's strong suit. Across the hallway, Jake Dunham looks visibly upset...and Andy goes over to him and wryly says he thought he'd been grinning ear to ear after Alexis's testimony. Jake ignores him and mutters something about heading over to the hospital.

Krystle is in the ladies room, splashing cold water on her face and pensively staring at herself in the mirror.

Andy once again insists to Blake that he wants to question Alexis, in order to expose her as a liar and discredit her testimony - but Blake refuses to allow it and says she's his children's mother...but then hints at a deeper reason. He says he doesn't want anyone else's life to be affected by this trial, then reminds Andy that he didn't kill Ted on purpose and that he expects him to prove that to the jury. Andy wails, "What if I caaaan't?!" and Blake orders him to shut the fuck up and just do it.

Alexis approaches a grim looking Steven and says hello. Fallon, who's sitting nearby, gives her the stink eye and averts her eyes. Alexis tells Steven she didn't come to Denver just to testify - she came to see him. The two recall the sad day she abandoned him when he was seven years old: apparently, she told him she had to leave town to find a special rainbow to paint. Fallon interjects herself in the conversation to bitch at Alexis for giving such damaging testimony against her father. Alexis says she hated doing it, and Fallon retorts that she's even more "beautiful and ugly" than she remembers, and that she's tried hard to forget her. Alexis shoots her a cold stare and tells her she's glad Blake had her teeth fixed, if not her tongue. After she stalks off, Fallon and Steven stare at each other mutely.

Krystle exits the ladies room and runs into Jeff, who asks her if she's OK. She tells him she feel sick and needs to go home for awhile, so Jeff offers to escort her to her car. Fallon, who's lurking in the hallway, looks peeved at Krystle's hasty departure.

When court gets back in session, Fallon and Jeff inform Blake that Krystle went home 'cause she wasn't feeling well. Andy tells the judge he has no questions for Alexis, and the spectators all look stunned and start up with their tittering again. Alexis shrugs, then steps down from the witness box and sashays out of the courtroom. Jake tells the judge he has no more witnesses, then gears up to present his closing arguments. He lumbers toward the jury box, reiterating that Blake cold-bloodedly murdered Ted...and that Ted is lying in his grave in North Dakota, half forgotten during this trial. Mmm, now that Season 2 is well underway, I'd say that poor Ted has been fully forgotten. Jake takes it up a notch and bellows that Ted has been in this courtroom, crying out to Blake: "Why?! Why am I dead?! Why did you murder me?!" He yells that Ted died because he dared get in Blake's way and defy him, then shrieks that whatever Blake can't buy, control, or manipulate - he destroys. He caps off his closing arguments by shouting, "Blake Carrington destroys!! He destroys!!" LOL. The camera pans over to Blake, who's staring despondently into space.  
Krystle arrives home and runs into Joseph. He snootily asks her what she's doing home so early, so she explains that she's not feeling well. He glances at her skeptically and says, "I see." He stiffly asks her if there's anything one of the lower level servants can do for her, and Krystle comes right out and asks him if he knew Alexis from her time as The Lady of Carrington Manor. Joseph crisply says he was employed by Alexis, then asks her if she's really trying to get at whether or not Alexis was telling the truth on the stand about Blake's violent anger spells. Krystle's like, "Well, d'yuh", so  Joseph says it's not something he's willing to discuss with... but then his voice trails off. Krystle presses him to finish his sentence and asks, "With outsiders?? Why don't you just say it?" Joseph clams up and snoots, "I assume that's all" and stalks off. What an uppity little prick.

During Andy's closing remarks, he calls Ted's death "a tragic accident", then accuses Jake Dunham of bringing in a "cinematic, dramatic final witness". Well, d'yuh. Someone had to liven up this show after such a dull first season. Andy tells the jury it's up to them to decide whether or not Alexis told the truth or a blatant lie. He suddenly raises his voice and yells, "A vengeful lie from the mouth of a woman scorned!! She lied!!" Andy takes a few seconds to compose himself from the outburst, then takes his seat beside Blake. After that, the jury files out of the courtroom to begin their deliberations. 

Jeff asks Fallon if she wants to go out for dinner, but Fallon nixes that idea 'cause she doesn't want to leave her father alone in the mansion all evening...then makes a face and sarcastically snarks that Krystle is "ill". Jeff's like, "OK, whatever" and heads off to his office at ColbyCo. Fallon walks over to Steven, but he's not done being pissed off at her from the last conversation they had - when she acted all unsympathetic regarding Ted's death. He also admonishes her for being so snarly to Alexis when she tried to make nice with her, and Fallon snarks back that she doesn't need a mother after a sixteen year absence. She tells him that Alexis walked away with a cool 250K for signing her children away, and Steven furrows his brows and is all, "Wuh??" Fallon claims that she could have seen them if she'd really wanted to...and that the only reason she returned to Denver was to stick it to Blake. (And this is bad because..?)

Andy and Blake leave the courthouse and head toward the limo, but Alexis heads them off and asks Blake if she can speak to him privately for a moment. She asks him why Andy didn't cross examine her in court, and Blake says he ordered him not to 'cause he didn't want to risk her repeating "that piece of filth" she once told him. He snarls, "That filth is a lie and we both know it!" Alexis looks fake innocent and replies, "Do we?" and he snaps, "Yes!" and says their children have been hurt enough. Alexis says she never lies - though fibs are her specialty. Um...OK. Blake reminds her that he once threatened to kill her if she ever repeated the mysterious filthy lie to anyone, and says that the threat still stands. That's probably not a smart thing to utter when you're currently on trial for murder. Alexis looks unconcerned with her ex-husband's threats and says when she needs a trump card she'll play it. Haha! You go, girl! Blake grimaces at her and climbs into his limo. 

Inside the limo, Andy informs Blake that Claudia Blaisdel is in the hospital after she and her daughter got into a car accident. That must have been why Jake was so upset earlier.

In the hospital, a bruised and battered looking Claudia begins to stir. The doctor tells her she's very lucky to be alive and that she's going to be fine. She asks about Lindsay, and the doctor tells her that Matthew left a message (with hospital staff..?) that he's absconded with their pet daughter and that Claudia is not to try to find them. Woot woot! The crybaby's gone! Yippee!! Claudia starts flailing around in panic, shrieking at the doctor that he's lying...and in the background we see that a nurse is preparing an injection, presumably to knock Claudia out. 

Steven and Alexis are having lunch at an outdoor cafe. He asks her if she ever found that special rainbow to paint...and she says she did, but seeing it was never as good as being with him and Fallon. Steven apologizes for Fallon's cunty behavior earlier, and Alexis breezily assures him it's all good. She says she likes him best anyway - 'cause he was always her son, whereas Fallon was always Blake's daughter. She jokes that she got the better end of the stick, and Steven gives her a rare smile. She tells him he's a good, handsome man - and this causes Steven to raise his eyebrows and repeat, "Man..?" He says he doubts his father would agree, but Alexis tells him not to be ashamed of his gayness and that it doesn't make him any less a man. He should probably get that from her in writing.

Blake is at the hospital, berating one of the doctors for not allowing him into Claudia's room. He rails about how he's on the board of directors at the hospital and that he contributed $5 million to the new wing. What an arrogant, self-entitled douchewad. The hapless doctor caves and tells Blake he can visit Claudia, but warns him that she's under heavy sedation. Blake tip-toes into Claudia's room and finds her awake but groggy. She tells him to go away and then snarks at him for coming to gloat over her misfortune...and he tells her she has it all wrong, and that he came because he feels responsible for her being there. Over her protests, he seats himself next to her bed and tells her that it wasn't his idea to put her on the stand - that his lawyer did it without his OK. He begs her to believe that he never intended to hurt her, but Claudia sullenly says she doesn't believe in anything anymore...except for pain. Blake's like, "OK then" and tells her if she needs anything she should give him a call.

Fallon barges into Krystle's room, notices that she's napping, and loudly slams the door shut. When the ruckus jolts Krystle awake, Fallon sarcastically asks, "Sorry, did I wake you?" Krystle tells her she was taking a nap, then looks over at the clock and realizes with horror that she missed the entire afternoon of Blake's trial. Fallon tells her not to bother going back to the courthouse, since the jury is in the process of deliberating. She calls her mother a she-lion for tearing her father apart on the stand, then gives Krystle the stink-eye and demands to know why she walked out on Blake's trial. Krystle explains that she wasn't feeling well...and when Fallon derisively rolls her eyes, Krystle asks her if she thinks she's lying. Fallon dramatically holds up her palms in the air and says, "Heaven forfend" and bitchily says she'd never doubt The Noble Lady of the House of Carrington. Krystle glares at her and tells her she's not enjoying her unwelcome visit. Fallon accuses Krystle of believing Alexis' "lies" about Blake - and that by walking out, she was sending the jury the message that Blake is guilty. She bitchily warns Krystle that if her father isn't set free, she's not going to rest until she pays her back for the imagined misdeed...then storms out of the room.

Blake, Fallon, and Jeff are sitting around the dining table, quietly picking at their food. Blake excuses himself to go upstairs to check on Krystle, and Fallon snottily remarks to Jeff that Krystle really knows how to play her father: getting him to come to her after she walked out on him. I wonder if Fallon ever gets exhausted by her relentless bitchitude.

Krystle is nestled on a sofa, staring pensively into the fireplace when Blake comes a-knockin'. She invites him in, and he tells her how empty the dinner table felt without her. She tells him she's not hungry and explains for the hundredth time this episode that she's not feeling well. Blake says he knows that she asked Joseph whether or not Alexis was telling the truth on the stand (Joseph is such a tattletail), so he admits that he did, in fact, beat the crap out of Roger Grimes. But he denies forcibly separating Alexis from their children. Blake insists that the only thing that ever mattered to Alexis was money, and Krystle pensively mulls that over, not completely sure if she should believe her douchewad husband.

Alexis is over at Steven's apartment, looking fabulous in a white halter style top. She tells Steven that for years she's been afraid of returning to Denver, because Roger - who was also bought off by Blake after their affair was discovered - had apparently threatened to tell police she was the one who beat him with the candlestick. Please. It's hardly likely the police would buy that lie. But when Jake Dunham told her that Roger was safely dead, she knew it was safe to return. Steven is disgusted with Blake and snarks that he thinks he's a god. Alexis changes the subject to something more upbeat by presenting Steven with a gift: a painting she did of him (from memory) at the age of six. He looks delighted, and the two reminisce about how she used to try to get him to sit for portraits. She sighs about how much she misses her art studio on the Carrington estate and says she had so many happy times there...then looks over at Steven expectantly. Subtle.

Blake tells Krystle he's sorry for all the dumb crap he's pulled as a result of his deeply rooted anger management issues. He also laments Ted's unfortunate demise and says he just wanted to grab the gay man and shove him out of his house...and out of Steven's life. He promises Krystle he'll somehow become a better man if he's freed by the jury - then looks contemplative and mutters, "If I'm freed. My God." He shakes his head in bewilderment at the notion of his freedom being in the hands of a jury, and then heads toward the door...and Krystle pensively stares after him.

Recap: The jury in Blake's trial has reached a verdict! The Dynasty cast waits anxiously in the courtroom, and the camera pans over their faces to capture the grimness of everyone's expressions. The judge finally arrives...and after dragging out the big moment far longer than was necessary, we learn the verdict: GUILTY!! Yippee! Hurray! Woot woot! As the courtroom spectators start tittering in earnest, Blake jumps to his feet and cries, "No!" LOL...yes! Andy tries to get him to sit down and shut up while the entire conviction is announced: guilty of voluntary manslaughter. The judge sentences him to two years in a state prison...but for some reason, the stupid jury has recommended a suspended sentence and that Blake be placed on two years probation. Instead of being thankful that he's not about to be thrown in the slammer (like he well deserves), Blake bitchily demands to make a statement...then glares at the judge and snaps, "I'm not guilty!" LOL. Andy tries in vain to shut Blake up, but he continues to rail, "This whole thing has been a travesty! The only crime has been this trial!" His outburst prompts Jake Dunham to jump to his feet and snarl that the only crime here has been letting a privileged douchebag like Blake Carrington off on two years probation after being convicted of voluntary manslaughter. No fucking shit. The judge interjects and warns Blake not to press his luck, admonishes Jake for his outburst, then declares that this tedious murder/manslaughter storyline is officially over. 

After court is dismissed, Jake tells Andy it was probably a smart move not to question Alexis on the stand...but he's curious about what scared him off, and suspects it's something "real tasty". Andy attempts to explain to Blake that while they didn't win in court, they didn't totally lose either...and that there are worse things than being on probation. Yeah - like serving two years in a state prison, which I'm guessing is the minimum sentence that any other person convicted of voluntary manslaughter would get. Blake stubbornly insists he wants his name cleared, then orders Andy to draw up the papers to file an appeal today. Andy sighs wearily and tells him to consider himself fortunate that he got such a ridiculously light sentence, and leave well enough alone. Blake barks back that he didn't murder Ted and decrees, "Now you get me that appeal!" Andy tells him he doesn't think that filing an appeal will actually accomplish anything other than continue to feed bad publicity and "keep the story alive" in the newspapers. Blake shuts his pie-hole and suddenly looks contemplative, as though common sense might have finally seeped through his thick skull. 

Claudia wakes up and finds herself restrained to her hospital bed. She's flailing around, struggling against her restraints when the doctor enters the room. Claudia asks him why she's strapped in, and he tells her it's 'cause she keeps trying to sneak out of the hospital when she's not ready to be released. He admonishes her for continually trying to escape, and appeals to her to give the hospital staff a break and stay put. With that said, he removes the restraints. She starts babbling again about needing to find her daughter, then petulantly tells the doctor she's broke and can't pay her hospital bill. He informs her that all of her medical bills have been taken care of by Blake Carrington. 

Blake and Krystle head out of the courtroom...and on their way, they walk past Steven and Alexis (who looks fantastic in a bright red tailored suit). Steven meekly asks Blake if they can talk, and he growls, "What for? You got what you wanted, didn't you?" He shoots his son the stink-eye and continues walking, pulling a hapless Krystle along with him. In the hallway, Andy rushes over to warn Blake that there's press everywhere, so they'll need to find a back door. Blake continues to yank Krystle by the arm, and suddenly she winces and looks faint. She tells Blake she needs some air, like pronto, so he rushes her down a nearby flight of stairs that leads to a back exit. Once they make it outside, they head straight for the limo...but before they can climb inside, Blake is confronted by a reporter. He tells Blake he's doing a story on Denver-Carrington and wants to know how the trial is affecting the company, so Blake gruffly retorts that he'll give him a headline, and then barks, "Business as usual." Blake then turns toward the limo, but the dissatisfied reporter grabs Blake by the arm and demands more information. Blake whips around and snarls, "Get your hands off of me!" and the reporter scoffs, "Or what? More manslaughter?" Bwahaha! Jeff suddenly rushes over and warns the reporter to get lost, otherwise he'll get a punch in the face. The reporter doesn't press the issue and tells Blake he's going ahead with his article, with or without his cooperation. After he leaves, Blake thanks Jeff for intervening, and Fallon anxiously asks, "Are you all right, daddy?" He assures her he's fine, then enters the limo. Andy tells him to forget about the reporter, but Blake grimaces and says he's worried that his company's stockholders aren't going to trust him now that he's been branded a killer. Well, d'yuh. 

Steven calls the hospital to get an update on Claudia, and he's told she's still stable. In a manner of speaking.

Fallon's in the kitchen at the mansion, baking muffins for Blake and klatching with Joseph. He chortles at the sight of her baking and says he's suddenly reminded of a little girl who used to make breakfast for her father on his birthday. He then gets a faraway look in his cold, dark eyes and says that despite their different stations in life, he considers Blake to be his BFF. Fallon gives him a sad and serious look, and urges him to continue pretending that Blake is capable of a genuine friendship with one of his servants, then tells the majordomo, "We're all he really has." Er...OK. Except that Blake also has a wife...along with Andy, who he once declared was his best friend. Joseph gives Fallon a grateful smile for indulging his delusional nonsense, then toddles off to bed.

Blake is restless and can't sleep. He gets out of bed, puts his robe on, and heads downstairs to his study. As he pours himself a drink, Krystle enters the room. He asks her if she'd like a brandy, and she's like, "OK", so he pours her one...and the two sit together in front of the fire, sipping their drinks. She tells him that what happened in court was "so unfair" (et tu, Krystle?), and he grunts and replies, "It's done. At least for now." He starts muttering about how he wants to appeal the conviction - then stops himself and tells her he's been taking stock of his life. He acknowledges that he's always used force to get what he wanted...like when he hurtled Ted Dinard across the room and he hit his head and died as a result. Krystle points out that he didn't mean for him to die...and Blake concurs, but says he's dead nonetheless. He then looks as though he suddenly had a revelation and says, "There's got to be a better way." Ya think?? He asks Krystle if she thinks he can change, and she gives him one of her annoyingly serene smiles and tells him that by golly, he has the strength to do anything he sets his mind to. She then declares she'd like to go back to bed now - then pauses for a couple of seconds and specifies, "Your bed." Ew. Blech. Gross. Blake looks puzzled and goes, "Why?", so she says it's not a night for either of them to be alone. He suddenly furrows his brows and snarks, "I'm not a charity case! To be pitied!" Krystle tries to calm the riled ogre, gently insisting that she loves and needs him...and he simmers down and starts kissing her, and the camera zooms in on their mashed lips for what seems like an inordinately looong time. 

When Krystle emerges from Blake's bedroom the next morning, Fallon happens to walk by at that moment and snarks, "Do you really think going to bed with him makes up for him being found guilty?" She again accuses Krystle of swaying the jury against Blake by leaving court early one day. Krystle rejects that she "walked out on him" and explains once again that she wasn't fucking feeling well. Jeff, meanwhile, is standing a few feet away, quietly eavesdropping. Krystle irritably orders Fallon to stop meddling in her marriage - just as Blake opens the bedroom door and snaps, "That's enough!" He tells Fallon that this is his house and that he wants it united - and she'd better get that straight if she wants to continue living under his roof and sponging off of him indefinitely. He and Krystle head downstairs to the breakfast room, and Jeff ambles over, says, "Bravo", and admonishes his wife for attacking Krystle for loving and supporting Blake. He then grabs her by the arm and snarls that Krystle loves Blake the way he loves her...as well as the way he (Jeff) wishes she (Fallon) loved him. What a dumb, hopeless sap. Fallon orders him to run along to breakfast and sulkily says she's no longer hungry...so then he sulkily says he's not hungry either. She says, "Suck on a grapefruit" and flounces off...and Jeff reacts by angrily punching the palm of his hand. He looked kind of weird doing that.

Claudia calls her mother-in-law to fish around for information on the whereabouts of Matthew and Lindsay, but the mother-in-law is too disgusted by her affair with Steven to want to help her, and hangs up. Steven enters her hospital room and dorkishly smiles and waves at her, but Claudia just stares at him mutely. He then hangs his head in his usual contrite fashion, and apologizes for what he's done to her life. She tells him that no one forced her to be with him, and assures him that it isn't his fault. He sits on the side of her bed and cuddles her while lamenting that the two people he loved - her and Ted - have had their lives destroyed. Claudia looks overwhelmed asks him to leave, then says she wants to be alone...maybe forever. 

Blake's at work when his secretary buzzes to tell him that Mrs. Carrington is here to see him. He happily tells her to send her in, then looks unpleasantly surprised when Alexis appears. He snaps, "What are you doing here?" so she tells him she dropped by to talk. He snarks that he's busy, but she just chuckles and walks in anyway. She struts around the room, admiring the decor of his office, and apologizes for returning to Denver. She admits that originally she sought revenge...but, sadly, it turned out not to be so sweet after getting zero satisfaction from his guilty verdict. She abruptly changes course and says it's obvious he despises her...and that he probably despised her even before she got busted for doinking Roger Grimes. She pivots topics again, and admonishes Blake for taking out his hatred of her on Steven...and says it was disgusting, the way he rejected their poor son when he tried to talk to him after the verdict. She reminds Blake that Steven's "a beautiful, sensitive young man"...and Blake snorts at this description and accuses her of creating a "mama's boy", which is probably what turned him gay. Alexis rightly points out that he's the one who's been raising Steven for the last sixteen years, and therefore had every opportunity to make him into his "strong, macho image". LOL. Blake says his son is nothing like that, then mimics Alexis's voice as he mockingly repeats her assessment of Steven as "a beautiful, sensitive young man". The two snipe back and forth for a little while, blah blah...and eventually Blake gets fed up with the conversation and orders her to leave. As in, Denver. Alexis sexily sashays toward the door, then suddenly whirls around and stares the ogre straight in the eye as she firmly declares, "I go or stay where I choose." Haha! Awesome. You go, girl!

Fallon is driving back to the mansion in her ridiculous ornamental luxury car - but it doesn't look like it's running very well. I wonder why she doesn't buy herself something that's reasonably practical. She exits her car and bellows, "Michael!" and Joseph appears from out of nowhere and informs her that he just fired Michael. Fallon looks miffed, then storms over to the mansion to tattle this newest development to Blake...but Blake tells her it was he who ordered his majordomo to get rid of the chauffeur, who he suddenly discovered was too lazy and inept to work at Carrington manor. He then tells her to run along 'cause he's tired. Fallon clucks sympathetically about the "unfair" trial, calls Alexis dirt, and says it's unfathomable how anyone could hate a wonderful man such as himself. After that ass-licking, she asks her father if she can have Michael back, and he snaps, "No!" and declares that from now on, this family is going to shape up. Fallon snarks back that he's the one on probation - not her - and Blake angrily declares that she's going to have to learn how to behave like a decent person if it kills her. He growls, "I don't need a carbon copy of your mother in this house. And that's what you are sometimes. And it sickens me. Do you hear me?! It sickens me!!" Ouch.

Later, Krystle and Blake are eating lunch together in the dining room. She invokes his annoying babble about wanting the whole family to be united, then reminds him about how he dickishly rebuffed Steven as they were leaving the courtroom. Blake mutters, "Not that again, damn it! Twice in one day from both wives!" He snarks that he doesn't want to hear another word about his children, then blurts out, "There are times I wish I'd never had them!" Krystle stares back at him in stunned silence, then says, "You can't mean that" and he bitchily retorts, "I do mean that. I mean it from my soul." [You have no soul, Blake.] Krystle looks disturbed by the psycho-nut's ramblings and tells him she suddenly lost her appetite, but he orders her to stay and listen to more of his ramblings. He reminds her of the night he raped her, though he refers to it as "the night I wanted you to have my child". Gross. He says it's a damn good thing he didn't impregnate her, 'cause the last thing he needs is another child...and then, to bring the point home, he bellows, "I don't need another child!!" She stares back at him in stunned silence once again, and he suddenly looks sheepish and apologizes for his outburst. He says he doesn't mean to take out his frustration on her and asks her to please forgive him...and she mumbles, "It's all right." His face falls, and he remarks that their banter has adopted a disturbing pattern: every time he has a childish outburst, she responds by saying, "It's all right." Well that's interesting. I had no idea that Blake was even a tiny bit self-aware.

Alexis is having lunch with Jake Dunham at a fancy restaurant. Jake is bummed 'cause he really wanted to get Blake locked up, and Alexis reminds him that not all is lost: after all, Blake was found guilty of a violent crime...plus, the verdict has marred his reputation. She asks if that isn't enough of a victory for him, and he stares at her quizzically and tells her she's very complex. Er...OK. He then grumbles that Blake shouldn't get to walk around free, then tells her that the reason he invited her to lunch was to see if there's anything of value she might have left out of her testimony, e.g. some juicy dish on Blake. Alexis tells him she has no skeletons in her closet where Blake is concerned...so then he reminds her that she once implied that she has some bones rattling around, but she says he must have heard her wrong.  

Joseph walks across the Carrington estate toward the art studio, and is startled to find Alexis inside. He demands to know how she got past the security gate, and she cheekily says she told the guard she was Mrs. Carrington. Joseph bitchily reminds her that there is a present Mrs. Carrington, and Alexis chuckles and says, "Still the haughty majordomo." Hee! She then chides herself for criticizing him - after all, she's the one who hired him and taught him his haughty ways. Joseph asks her what she's doing in the studio, and she tells him she's checking out her old paintings so she can see how much she's progressed as an artist. She asks Joseph what he thinks of her work, and he tells her he's not an art critic...and this prompts her to chuckle and quip that he's a lot of other things: spy, tailor, perjurer. Joseph looks particularly miffed at being called a perjurer, and says he knows for a fact that she wasn't completely truthful on the witness stand. He then smugly tells her he's been documenting the last sixteen years of her life in his very own scrapbook, which contains clippings and details of her scandalous behavior. LOL. Alexis chooses to find this amusing, and chastises him for reading tabloid trash, then mocks him for not having a life. She clucks, "Poor, lonely Joseph. Still the impotent voyeur." She tells him she'd love to see his scrapbook, then bores of the conversation and brusquely dismisses him from her orbit.

Blake and Andy enter a fancy restaurant and head straight for the bar. When Andy excuses himself to make a phone call, Blake notices Jake Dunham sitting at the other end of the bar, doing paperwork. Blake heads over to inform the prosecutor that he's decided to not pursue an appeal, even though he's totally innocent. Jake lets out a guffaw and reminds the douchetard that he was convicted of manslaughter, and is lucky to be walking around free. Right?! Blake just chuckles, and then mocks Jake's career choices, particularly the way he just tried to jump-start a political career by using "the death of some homosexual". Jake scrunches his face angrily and tells Blake he's clearly incapable of understanding that he didn't give a rat's ass about Ted's gayness...his job is to defend the rights of people by prosecuting violations of the law. Blake nonsensically snarls, "Justice is blind because of people like you, pal", smirks at Jake, then stalks off.
Steven is hanging out in his little apartment, staring sadly at a photo of Ted. There's a knock on the door, so he quickly puts the photo away. He finds Krystle standing on his doorstep, and she tells him she'd like to talk about Blake. Ugh. He tells her he'd rather not, but for some reason she insists on continuing to beat that dead horse.

Blake's working in his study when Krystle pops her head in and tells him that someone's here to see him. A few seconds later, Steven enters, wearing a bright pink vest, which I thought was a delightful clothing choice for a reconciliation meeting with his scarily homophobic father. Blake shakes his hand and says sorry for the other day...and Steven graciously says that that's all in the past, and the two sit down on one of the leather couches. Blake explains that he was under a lot of strain after he heard the guilty verdict, particularly 'cause he knew he wasn't guilty. [You are guilty. The verdict said so.] He says he wants the Carrington name to stand for something other than rich douchebag, then tells Steven he'd like him to change some of his values. Oh dear. Steven stares at him blankly and goes, "My values?", then asks if by values he means that he wants him to move back home. [No...my guess is that he wants you to turn straight for once and for all.] Blake smiles approvingly and says he likes it when Steven calls the mansion home. Steven reminds his father that he's also working his way up at Denver-Carrington, and this too prompts Blake to smile approvingly, and he tells his son that the company is his future. Blake then [goes completely off the rails and] tells Steven he's willing to forgive him for testifying against him in court: "Me, your father. And some rather damaging testimony." Steven stares at him, incredulous, then springs to his feet and insists to his dickwad father that he told the truth...and reminds him that perjury is a fucking crime. Blake narrows his beady little eyes and snarls, "You what?!" so Steven cleverly turns the tables and says that he doesn't forgive him for killing his friend. Blake is all, "Wha-a?! Why'd you come over then?" so Steven says he thought he'd be expressing remorse or something of that ilk, and then scoffs about Blake being willing to forgive him. He storms out of the study, and Blake runs after him and reminds him that he's still his father, and Steven snarks back that he'd much rather be an orphan. Hee! Blake catches up to him and tries to grab at him, but Steven shoves him away and storms out of the mansion. Krystle, who has witnessed this ugly scene, is standing uselessly in the hallway when Blake notices her. He grumbles that he should have known it wouldn't work...and she murmurs that she thought things might finally change around here, then turns to walk away. Blake yells at her for walking out on him too...but then, a few seconds later, she unexpectedly keels over. He's all, "Wuh?" and bellows for Joseph to call the doctor, then rushes over to his wife and cradles her in his arms. He blames her fainting spell on the strain of his murder trial, but she shakes her head from side to side and miserably blurts out, "I think I'm pregnant!" and starts crying. As well she should...'cause ew.

A little later, Joseph informs Blake that the doctor is still with Mrs. Carrington, then tells him that something is afoot on the property. He motions his master toward the window, and the two peer outside as Alexis coordinates with a bunch of movers to transport her things into the art studio. Blake's all, "The fuck?!" and storms outside to confront his cheeky ex-wife. He angrily asks her what the hell she's doing, and she tells him she's become bored by hotels, then reminds him that she holds the deed to the art studio. She declares, "I'm moving in", and the two glare at each other. Yay, Alexis! It is so on! 

Recap: Fallon runs outside in her nightie and climbs a tree. Jeff wakes up in their bed, looks perplexed that his wife isn't beside him, then gets up and looks around for her. He peers out the window, sees that she's up a tree, then looks perplexed again. He rushes outside in his night pants and tells Fallon to climb down and come back to bed, but she continues to sit there and tells him she used to sit in this tree when she was a child. "It was fun then," she recalls wistfully, then gripes about how everything has been ruined ever since Krystle came into her father's life. She mutters, "That wedding. That damn wedding." She somehow figures that if Krystle hadn't married Blake, Steven would be living in New York, Ted Dinard would still be alive, the miserable trial wouldn't have happened, and Alexis would not have returned to Denver to testify. In other words, she wishes the entire first season of Dynasty never happened. Jeff urges her again to come down, so she slips into a weird sounding babytalk mode and says, "You're my husband. Will you make everything all right for me?" and like the indulgent sap he is, he replies, "Try me." Fallon climbs down, and he pulls her into a hug and gives her a big smooch...but she pulls away and chides him for wanting to get her in the sack despite the fact that her "whole world" is crumbling down around her. He furrows his caterpillar eyebrows and asks her if it's ever occurred to her to blame herself for anything, then snaps, "Or to admit that you're a selfish, egotistical, shallow kid?" He shoots her the stink-eye and adds, "Next time remind me to fall in love with a woman - not a spoiled brat!" and then storms off. Haha! You go, Jeff!

Blake enters the master bedroom, sees Krystle pensively staring out the window, then pastes a stupid grin on his face and ambles over to her. He asks her if she's feeling OK, then says that her morning sickness is sure to pass. I take it he's suddenly OK with having another child, despite his rantings to the contrary during much of the previous episode. Krystle gives him one of her sickeningly serene smiles and tells him she feels just fine...and OMG I am so totally creeped out by any conversation that's even remotely connected to the visual of Blake impregnating his trophy wife. He tells her he has to head out to one of his refineries and asks her if it's OK if he eats breakfast on the way. She smiles serenely again, gives him her blessing, and the two kiss goodbye.

Alexis marches across the estate and into the mansion's kitchen, where she finds Hilda the Cook making breakfast. She greets her former servant, gushes about how much she's missed her cooking, then says she has a favor to ask. She explains that since she doesn't yet have a phone in her studio, she can't get stuff delivered...so she hands Hilda a list of all the things she'd like her to order. Joseph enters the kitchen at that moment and eavesdrops as Alexis then orders Hilda to assemble a small staff to cook and clean for her. Joseph says that that's out of the question, and when Alexis widens her eyes with fake innocence and goes, "Why?",  Krystle suddenly appears in the doorway and tells Joseph she'll handle this. She shoots Alexis a cold stare and brusquely says, "Would you come with me?" Alexis looks kind of put out at being ordered around, but follows Krystle into a nearby sitting room. She strides around the room, examines the decor, then remarks that not much has changed from when she used to live here. She happily declares, "It still feels like home" and Krystle gives her a stony glare and retorts, "It's not yours." Alexis praises her directness, then bitchily mispronounces her name - Kristin - and says she needs some wine glasses for her new home. When she notices the hard look on Krystle's face, she thinks better of helping herself and murmurs, "Maybe later" and Krystle just rolls her eyes and tells her to save her performance for the kitchen. Alexis then flops herself down on one of the couches, lights up a cigarette, and assures Krystle she doesn't want anything - except, apparently, a few mansion servants and some wine glasses - but Krystle isn't buying it and reminds the former Mrs. Carrington that she just invaded the studio. Alexis argues that she holds the deed to that property, then claims that part of the reason she came to Denver was so the two of them could develop "a civilized rapport". That's seriously funny, considering all the cat fights to come. Krystle accuses her of having ulterior motives, and Alexis calls that an ugly implication. Krystle says it's pretty clear she's staying in Denver just to hurt Blake, so Alexis reminds her that her douchebag ex-husband killed their son's best friend. She refers to Krystle as Mrs. Jennings, then catches the pretend faux pas and says, "Oops. That was your other husband's name, wasn't it?" Hee! Krystle shoots her an icy glare, orders her to see herself out, then makes it clear she's not welcome inside the main house.   

Andy's in Blake's office, barking at someone on the phone about an offshore deal Blake's trying to put together. He snaps, "He wants the facts! Got it?!!" then slams the phone down. What a rude douchetard. Blake enters his office at that moment, smiles proudly at Andy's bitchy phone voice, then says, "You sound just like me." Blake tells him he has four things he needs him to accomplish today, the first being: get Alexis out of his life. The second thing: he hands Andy a piece of paper and haughtily asks, "What's this about me reporting to the probation officer today?" Andy looks over the written order and asks him if he'd like him to arrange for the probation officer to come to him...and when Blake goes, "Well, d'yuh", Andy chuckles and informs him that such a thing is definitely not possible. Bwahaha! I really enjoy it when Andy messes with Blake's head like that. Blake whines about how horrible it is to have to go to the Probation Department and sit in a nasty cubicle surrounded by street criminals, so Andy starts playing his tiny violin as he wryly replies that some bureaucrats just don't recognize the privileges of power. He then gets serious and makes it clear to the arrogant, self-entitled douchewad that he's going to have to report in to his probation officer, just like any other convicted manslaughterer would be required to do. He looks down at his watch and says, "Like, now" and warns Blake that he doesn't need any more damaging headlines in the papers. Blake concedes and mutters, "All right." The third thing: Blake instructs Andy to drop him off at the Probation Department, then wants him to pick up Claudia at the hospital. Apparently, she's getting released today. He tells him to take her home and ensure that she has everything she needs. The fourth thing: Blake wants Andy to cut Steven out of his will. Andy scrunches his face in confusion and asks him if he really wants to go down that path...and Blake confirms that he does, and says he's tried everything he knows how to reach his gay son, but is finally throwing in the towel.

Blake is at the Probation Department, sandwiched between two fellow felons as he waits to meet with his probation officer. The guy next to him politely asks for the time, then complains that it looks like he's going to miss his job interview. He compliments Blake's suit, and Blake just grunts in reply, so then the guy asks Blake what his business is, and Blake rudely growls, "None of yours." He then gets up and bitchily berates a police officer for making him wait so long...but the officer doesn't give a rat's ass and just shrugs disinterestedly. Blake puffs up his little chest and angrily plants his hands on his hips, but it's pretty clear that no one in his immediate orbit gives a rat's ass about his problems. 

Andy picks up Claudia from the hospital and escorts her to his car. He tells her that Blake's investigators were able to determine that Matthew absconded with Lindsay to South America, but when Claudia asks where in South America, he shrugs and unhelpfully replies, "It's a big place." [LOL...that it is, Andy.] He tells her not to worry and assures her that the investigators will find them. Claudia says she wants her daughter back and that it's her right as a mother...and Andy half-heartedly agrees, but then advises her against fighting Matthew for custody. He points out that Matthew has a strong case against her as an unfit mother because of her affair with Steven. Well, that's interesting. By this same rationale, wouldn't Matthew be considered an unfit father for openly carrying on an adulterous relationship with Krystle? 

Fallon is skeet shooting on the estate because she has nothing better to do with her time. Alexis ambles over to say hello and inform her daughter that she's now living on the estate: in her little studio. She apologizes for how bad things are between the two of them, and acknowledges the pain she's caused her over the years...but Fallon just shoves her aside so she can take her next shot. Alexis changes topics and tells her she just met her stepmother, and Fallon makes a face and grumps that Krystle isn't her stepmother - she's his father's wife. Alexis says she's quite beautiful and seems like a strong person, but hopes she's not a threat to her (Fallon's) or Steven's future. Fallon assures her that the woman is no threat, and explains that she witnessed her sign a pre-nup just before the wedding. Alexis looks delighted to hear that, and also seems pleased by Fallon's dislike of Krystle. Fallon professes her love for her beloved daddy, and says he got shortchanged when he married such a low-class wench. Alexis condescendingly chides Fallon for acting like she knows everything, then takes the shotgun from her and pulverizes the clay disk with one shot. She hands the gun back to her, looking smugly triumphant.

Andy drops off Claudia at her house and tells her he had groceries delivered to her neighbor. He encourages her to call Blake's office if she needs anything.

Blake whines to Andy about the conditions of his probation: he can't travel out-of-state without special permission, and isn't allowed to consort with any known criminals. Andy chuckles and says it'll certainly cut down on his business dealings and social life - hee! - and Blake snaps that it isn't funny. He asks Andy what he's done about getting rid of Alexis, and Andy says he hasn't gotten 'round to that yet, so Blake barks at him to make it a top priority. He tells Andy she holds the deed to the studio, and orders him to just throw money at the problem. He's willing to pay up to 500K to entice her to move her out. 

Claudia walks around her daughter's room looking mopey and sad. She stares at the empty closet, then sits on the bed and tearfully hugs one of Lindsay's teddy bears. She then reaches into her purse and pulls out a bottle of prescription pills. Uh oh.  

Blake's secretary buzzes him to announce that Claudia's on the line, but she can't understand anything the woman is mumbling. Blake snatches the receiver and listens as Claudia murmurs that she's sleepy and tired...and after a few seconds, she drops the phone. Blake's like, "Hello? Hello? Are you OK?" and when he gets no response, he hangs up and runs out of his office.

He drives straight to Claudia's house, and is met by his doctor friend, Nick Toscanni, who he summoned. Nick kicks in the door, and the two find Claudia unconscious in her daughter's bedroom with the empty prescription pill bottle laying nearby. Nick pulls Claudia to her feet, and drags her around the room, forcing her to listen to him natter on and on about his childhood. As he's doing that, he yells at Blake to go into the bathroom and run some hot water. After a few minutes, Nick announces to Blake that Claudia appears to be semi-conscious, then takes her into the bathroom - I assume to douse her with hot water. 

Andy pays a visit to Alexis as she works on a painting on the front lawn of her little studio. He compliments her artistry, and she gives him a cold once-over and recalls that fateful day, sixteen years ago, when he made her sign "that piece of paper" to keep her away from Colorado. He gets right down to business and informs her that Blake wants to buy the studio from her and that he's willing to pay big money. She declines, says she already has all the money she needs, and claims that she enjoys the simple life. Somehow I find that impossible to believe. Andy tells her she has no real reason to stay in town now that she's done her damage in court, but Alexis argues that she needs to stick around to protect Steven's interests...and Andy gleefully drops the bomb that Blake just cut him out of his will. 

Claudia wakes up and finds herself in one of the Carrington mansion's forty-four bedrooms. Nick, who's been waiting for her to regain consciousness, introduces himself, tells her where she is, and informs her that he just saved her life. She tears up and starts blubbering about her missing daughter, then tells Nick she took the pills because she wanted to die. He starts up his nattering about his childhood again, and eventually she nods off.  

Nick heads downstairs to the study to report to Blake that Claudia's going to be OK, and Blake looks relieved and pours him a scotch. Nick looks around the opulent room and remarks that this is the first time he's ever been invited inside the mansion. He suddenly gets snappish and asks Blake why he summoned him to the Blaisdel house to help Claudia instead of just calling an ambulance, so Blake explains that he cares about Claudia and wanted to shelter her from any media scrutiny that might result. Nick wryly points out that the press would surely blame him for her suicide attempt, since it was well known that she was forced into being a witness during his murder trial. Blake's like, "Yeah, whatever" and tells Nick he'd like him to treat Claudia at his mansion. Nick snarks back that he's a psychiatrist and doesn't make house calls, then snaps, "Get yourself another boy!" and heads for the door. Blake rushes after him and offers to double the price of his services, but Nick says he's not for sale and stalks out...and Blake just stares after him in befuddlement. Meanwhile, Krystle has just returned home looking glowingly happy. She accidentally bumps into Nick, and he grasps her by the arms, introduces himself, then stares at her intensely. What a weirdo.

Krystle heads over to the study to show Blake an actual silver spoon she just bought for their baby, then says the doctor's appointment went well and that she's expected to have a happy, healthy pregnancy. Nick suddenly appears in the doorway of the study with a strange, goofy smile on his face and tells Blake he's changed his mind and will treat Claudia at the mansion after all. Blake's like, "Uh, OK. Whatever", while Krystle looks pensively confused and Nick just continues to stand there, staring goofily in Krystle's direction. 

Fallon's on the phone, trying to track down Michael. Krystle overhears the call and informs her stepdaughter that the Dynasty writers felt that the role of the horny, rogue chauffeur lacked storyline potential and was therefore cut loose after Season 1. She then smugly reveals she's pregnant, and Fallon visibly pales and is all, "Wha-at?!"

Fallon has arranged for Jeff to meet her at a cheap motel. When he arrives, he looks around, makes a blech face, and asks her why they're meeting here. She pulls a picnic basket out of her car and tells him she likes to get kinky during a full moon. She announces that she's ready to try for a baby, and he immediately perks up and looks intrigued. The two smooch in the parking lot, then head over to the motel to check in and get busy. 

Alexis is over at Steven's apartment, fixing him dinner. He arrives home and is surprised but pleased to see her. He tells her he quit his job at the refinery and plans to look for work elsewhere, and she says that while that's totally understandable, he really needs to patch things up with Blake, like pronto. Steven makes a blech face and says, "I've always had this love-hate thing going with him, and hate won out." Alexis sympathizes and tells him that she too hated Blake for years and refused to forgive him for his douchebaggery. She then says that what happened in court was a hollow victory, and urges him to learn from her mistakes and not give up his birthright. Steven says he doesn't care about Denver-Carrington, but Alexis tells him he will when he's older...then points out that if he gives it up, the entire company will be passed down to Fallon, which is a truly frightening thought. She looks at her son coyly and asks him what he'd say if she told him he were Blake's only child. Steven scrunches his face in confusion and asks his mother if this is another one of her weird mind games, and Alexis tells him she loves him very much, then dramatically declares that Blake isn't Fallon's biological father. Steven stares back at her, completely stunned, and is all, "Whaaa-aaat?!"

Nick arrives home and gets a call from his sister. He informs her that he was finally able to get inside Blake Carrington's house, then reminds her about how he moved back to Denver to "pay that man back" what it cost them...and thinks he's finally found a way. 

Duhn! Duhn! Duhn!

Recap: Alexis is carrying a basket of freshly cut roses and strolling near the pool where Blake is swimming - and I use the term (swimming) loosely 'cause he looks really awkward flapping around in the water. For someone who owns a pool, he doesn't seem like a very adept swimmer. Blake climbs out of the pool and puts on his robe, and I'm grateful for the clever camera work that spared me from having to view too much of his bare-chested, pasty little body. Alexis remarks that he's kept himself in fantastic shape, and he gruffly thanks her for the compliment. She then informs him that she asked the gardener to cut some roses for her, and he tells her he knows that that's bullcack, since the gardener has the day off. Alexis chuckles and breezily reminds him how he always used to forgive her fibs...and then the two reminisce about their honeymoon, blah blah. She tells him that he and Steven should kiss and make up, and he snarls, "Why?" so she says, "Well, for one thing, he's your only child." Blake growls that he's not going to stand there and listen to "that damned lie" about Fallon, but Alexis insists that he's not her father. Blake insists he is, then accuses Alexis of saying this merely to hurt him. Alexis tells him he's denying the truth, and he growls at her to take him up on his offer to buy the studio, then leave Denver for good.

Jeff finishes getting dressed, then ambles over to the bed where Fallon is still asleep and gives her a playful kiss to wake her up. He reminds her it's Saturday and that she promised to go house-hunting with him, but she frowns disinterestedly and moans about how hungover she is (apparently she drank an entire bottle of wine the night before). Jeff is eager to look at houses now that they're trying to start a family (ew), but she just shoots him a blank stare and denies making any such promise and basically says she's not interested in moving out of daddy's house...like ever. Their conversation gets interrupted by a phone call from Steven, who tells Fallon she needs to come over to his apartment for an important chat asap. She furrows her brows concernedly and tells him she'll be right over.

Fallon tells Steven she's surprised he's even talking to her 'cause of how mad he was at her for being so bitchy to Alexis. Steven concedes that he has no right to tell her how she should feel about their mother, then says she's his sister and doesn't want to fight anymore. She gives him a hug and tells him she's missed him...then says that Blake has missed him too and that the two of them should just let bygones be bygones. She tells him to put himself in Blake's shoes and asks him how he expected their father to react when he walked in and found his son practically tonguing another man. Steven points out that that's not at all what happened when Blake burst in on him and Ted, but Fallon's like, "Whatever" and tells him they "struck it rich" when they got Blake as a father. Steven makes a blech face, then tells her that no matter what she hears or what anyone else says, he's her brother and they'll always have each other. Fallon scrunches her face in confusion and asks him what he's trying to tell her, but Steven remains tight-lipped and just says he loves her.

Jeff is finishing up his breakfast when Krystle enters the dining room and starts slamming stuff around. Jeff asks her if she's OK, but she doesn't respond and glares out the window that faces Alexis' studio. Jeff tells her that he and Fallon are house-hunting today, and Krystle looks over at him in surprise and is all, "Wuh?" and says she hopes he and Fallon don't feel any pressure to move out because of her pregnancy. Jeff goes, "Wuh? You're pregnant?" and Krystle gives him a funny look and says she told Fallon days ago and assumed she'd have told him by now. Blake enters the room, and Jeff congratulates him on the baby then heads out. Krystle tells Blake she's miffed 'cause she wanted to take roses up to Claudia, but couldn't 'cause Alexis cut the last of the roses for herself. Blake advises her not to let Alexis get to her, then promises she'll be out of the way soon enough. Joseph enters the room carrying a rotary phone and tells Blake he has an important phone call from L.A. Ahh, the unfortunate pre cell phone era. Blake picks up the phone, looks irked at whatever news he just got, then tells Krystle he has to head over to the airport right away. After he leaves, Krystle asks Jeannette (the maid) who the mistress of the house is, and Jeannette looks befuddled by the dumb question and says, "You are, ma'am." Krystle gives her a smug smile, says, "Thank you!" and rushes out.

Alexis is trying to get a hold of Cecil, but he's not in his office yet so she tells his secretary she'll call back. Krystle strides purposefully across the lawn toward the studio, then meekly knocks on the door...and Alexis, who's working on a new painting, invites her in. Krystle gripes at her for taking the last of the roses and says it pissed her off 'cause she wanted to make a special rose bouquet for a sick house guest. Alexis glances over at her vase of roses and remarks on the delicateness of the petals and how they make a good painting subject. Krystle sternly orders her never to do that again - then makes it clear that she's not a house guest, and the only reason she and Blake are tolerating her presence on the property is 'cause she holds the deed to the studio. She then snarks at her to buy her own damn flowers if she needs something to paint. Alexis tells her she's absolutely right, then picks up the rose filled vase and carries it over to Krystle...then pretends as though she's just noticed Krystle for the first time and tells her she's very beautiful and would be a lovely subject to paint. Krystle snaps back that she's not looking for phony compliments and starts to leave, but Alexis insists she'd love to do a portrait of her, and that they could give the painting to Blake! As a gift! LOL. Krystle's like, "You have some nerve!" and storms out, and Alexis smirks to herself in amusement. 

Blake arrives at the airport to meet Cecil's private plane, which has just landed. The two discuss Alexis's return to town, and Cecil remarks that she's still as beautiful as ever. Blake's like, "Whatever" and then snarks at him for being duplicitous in the way he pushed him out of some offshore deal. He demands an explanation, so Cecil assures him that he fought to keep him included, but the others (investors? stockholders?) were understandably turned off by his recent guilty verdict. Blake grumbles that he could have fought for him if he'd really wanted to...and Cecil insists he did his best, but Blake doesn't buy it. Ho hum..

Nick Toscanni arrives at the mansion in his fancy sports car. He enters the house and finds Krystle working on an arrangement of roses. Hmm...I wonder if she went out and bought some? Or maybe Joseph delegated someone for that task. She asks Nick if he thinks it would be OK for her to visit with Claudia in order to make her feel welcome in her home...and Nick responds by muttering something in Italian, which translates to "the only thing more welcome than friendship is an old love." Thanks, weirdo. We'll take that as a yes.

Nick enters Claudia's room and finds her sitting on the side of the bed, staring into space. She tells him she's been trying to sort out her feelings, but that it's not helping much...and he tells her it'll take time, and that he wants to be a friend to her 'cause he doesn't give up on anyone. She sarcastically retorts that it's wonderful to have a shrink cheering her on...but, unfortunately, it won't help her get her husband to love her again or get her daughter back. She wonders aloud if she'll ever see them again, then says she probably doesn't deserve it 'cause of her affair with Steven. OK - this constant self-flagellation is becoming really annoying. Could someone please explain to me why Claudia's affair with Steven was so much more destructive to the Blaisdel marriage than when Matthew carried on an affair with Krystle that everyone in Denver seemed to know about?? Nick asks Claudia about her feelings for Steven, and she admits that a part of her will always love him. Nick tells her that that's human, then says there's nothing terrible about a woman loving two men...well, except when one of those men becomes so enraged that he absconds to South America and kidnaps their only child. Then it's probably bad. Not that I miss Lindsay and her tears. Or Matthew, for that matter.

Cecil arrives at Alexis' studio to see whassup. She tells him he's looking handsome, and he dutifully tells her she's as ravishing as ever, then gives her a kiss on the cheek. He asks her what's so urgent, and she tells him she came back to Denver to fix the rift that's growing between Steven and Blake, and needs his help. Cecil's not interested and tells her that Blake is his own man, and when she begs him to help her, he tries to explain that once Blake makes up his mind, that's it. She tells him he has to help her, otherwise she'll tell Blake about their affair, which apparently occurred while she and Blake were married. Cecil scoffs and says that the "affair" was practically a one night stand, and she chortles and sarcastically blurts out, "How gallant!" She then stares at him smugly and tells him that their one night stand made a more lasting impression on her...namely, nine months of pregnancy. Cecil furrows his brows and asks her what the hell she's talking about, so she comes right out and tells him he's Fallon's bio dad. Cecil looks startled as he suddenly recalls his dalliance with Fallon during Season 1 and says, "One night, she and I nearly went to bed together." Oh come on - really, writers? Are you really going to pretend like the Fallon's Wedding episode, which makes a direct reference to Cecil and Fallon hitting the sheets together, never happened?? I cry foul! Furthermore, proof of their coupling can be seen in the following excerpt from my recap of that episode - specifically, the scene where Cecil tries to convince Fallon to marry Jeff:

"Fallon stubbornly retorts that she doesn't think she'd be good for Jeff and that they'd drive each other insane. She and Cecil, on the other hand, would be magic together. She reminds him about the night they doinked, and he nods and woodenly reminisces, "That night. It was very good between us."

​So there. And ew.

Alexis reacts to Cecil's disturbing revelation by exclaiming, "How deliciously May-December!”, which I think is a weird fucking thing to say after learning that your daughter and her biological father have, at the very least, fooled around in the sack together. Cecil shakes his head in disbelief and mutters, “I can’t believe this", and Alexis snaps back, "Believe it." He thinks back and reminds her that she was doinking plenty of other men during that time, but she insists that he made such an impression on her that "it blurred all the others". Er, OK...but I'm not sure how that qualifies as proof of paternity. Alexis tells him she's going straight to Blake with this "information", but Cecil stops her and says he only likes to relate to Blake on a business level (if he has to relate to him at all), then barks, "Do you understand?!" She replies, "Maybe I do, maybe I don't" then says her main concern right now is Steven. Cecil doesn't want to risk her blabbing about the affair to Blake, so he agrees to try to help Blake and Steven mend fences. Alexis smarmily thanks him and calls him "a very special old friend".

Krystle enters Claudia's room with the roses, and Claudia just gives her a dull stare. Krystle reminds her of the day they ran into each other at the art gallery and admits that she should have been more honest about her naughty affair with Matthew. She tells Claudia she never meant to hurt her and is deeply sorry for what happened and would like for them to be friends. Claudia continues to stare at her blankly and mutters, "Friends..?" and Krystle nods encouragingly and suggests that the two of them go to lunch tomorrow. Claudia gives her a half-hearted nod as a response, so Krystle smiles happily, then turns toward the door. Claudia suddenly asks her if she's heard from Matthew, and Krystle says she hasn't...but Claudia doesn't believe her and starts begging her to tell her where Matthew's taken Lindsay. Krystle assures her she wouldn't keep that kind of information from her, but Claudia suddenly wigs out and starts railing at Krystle about how she has everything, while she (Claudia) has nothing except her own self. She snarls, "It's not very much. Is it?!!" (Um...no.) Krystle beats a hasty retreat, then winces when she hears the sound of glass shattering.

While dining together at a fancy restaurant, Cecil tells Steven that he recently spoke to Alexis about the rift between him and Blake, and points out that if he gets disinherited, everything goes...he pauses, then asks, "To whom?" and Steven replies, "That's right. Blake's daughter, Fallon" and, by association, Jeff, who will likely want to merge Denver-Carrington and ColbyCo. Steven asks him why he's telling him all this, and Cecil pretends it's 'cause he gives a rat's ass about the emotional and financial well-being of the Carrington clan. Steven moans about being Blake's big disappointment, and Cecil tells him he's wrong 'bout that: he's still Blake's blood and that can never change.

Fallon's on the tennis court, practicing with the machine, when Jeff strides over. He asks her why she didn't tell him that Krystle is pregnant, and she just shrugs and asks him how he found out. He says it's kinda funny how the idea of them having a baby just seemed to pop into her head out of nowhere, then asks her if she's interested in conceiving a spawn just so she can give Blake his first grandchild. He jokes that she should have it prematurely so she can beat Krystle to the punch, and Fallon tells him that that's ridiculous, then wonders aloud if them having a baby is a mistake. He goes, "Maybe it is" so she gives him a coquettish once-over, seats herself on his lap and tells him they'd make beautiful children. The two start smooching. 

Nick Toscanni is at home, working on his fancy sports car when Krystle calls. She asks him if he could come by the mansion to talk about some stuff, but he tells her he has no ride at the moment 'cause he's fixing his car. He suggests she come over to his place, then proceeds to give her directions.

In the next scene, he and Krystle are sitting on his deck, and she tells him she's worried about Claudia. He asks her to describe Matthew - which seems weird, but whatever - so Krystle tells him that Matthew is basically a decent guy, and then gives him a brief synopsis of his life. She sheepishly admits that she and Matthew had an affair while Claudia was laid up at the funny farm, and Nick assures her he's not judging her. He tells her she's beautiful and then awkwardly tries to feed her a grape (?), and Krystle tells him there's something about him that makes her uneasy. Nick laughs and says he tends to have that effect on women, and when Krystle asks him who he really is, he nonsensically retorts, "I'm me." Krystle suddenly announces that she has to go - but when she gets up, she nearly keels over from a dizzy spell, so Nick insists on driving her home.

Over at the mansion, Blake is pouring himself a drink and tells Steven he'd offer him one, then wryly says he has the distinct impression that he's had enough...and when the camera pans over to Steven, we see that he's stumbling around drunkenly and slurring his words. Blake throws it in his face that he recently said he'd rather be an orphan than have him as a father, and Steven mulls that over and says it totally sounds like something he'd say. LOL. Blake asks him why he came over, so Steven says, "Blood is thicker than water" and that he forgives him for his relentless douchbaggery. Blake asks him what brought about this sudden change of heart, so Steven tells him he talked to Cecil about the whole Fallon/paternity mess, and Blake gets miffed that Cecil would dare meddle in Carrington affairs. Steven tells him it was a favor to Alexis, and Blake looks bothered by this as well and grumbles that she has no right to meddle in their lives. Steven tells him to give his mother a break, then points out that he's lucky she didn't spill out the whole truth. After that, he starts railing about how Blake threatened to pin the Roger Grimes attack on Alexis...then suddenly decides he doesn't actually want to make nice with his father after all. He starts ranting about how Blake uses everyone all the time, that he hates being in "this miserable house", and the only one in it he cares about is "your dau-" then stops himself and says, "My sister, Fallon." He suddenly bolts out of the room, and then looks really funny weaving drunkenly down the hall and out of the house. 

By this time, Nick and Krystle have arrived at the mansion...and Steven is running toward the pool, somehow hits his head on the pool stair railing, falls into the water, and sinks right to the bottom. LOL. Two Dobermans, the only witnesses to the accident, stand near the edge of the pool and urgently bark for help...and Nick hears the ruckus and tells Krystle he's going to check it out. When he arrives at the pool area and sees Steven's lifeless body submerged, he dives in and fishes him out. Krystle comes running and gasps, "Oh my God! It's Steven!" and Nick gives him mouth-to-mouth, but he doesn't regain consciousness.

In the next scene, Steven's in the hospital, hooked up to a ventilator and a bunch of tubes. Blake looks distraught as he stares over at him and mutters that he should have done something to stop him from leaving the study. Alexis arrives at the hospital and races to Steven's room, then hovers over him and tells him that "mummy's here" and implores him to open his eyes. Blake asks the doctor if there's a chance he may have suffered brain damage, and the doctor says there's a real possibility he could wind up a turnip for the rest of his life. He then ushers Blake and Alexis out of the room so they can do more tests (or whatever). Alexis moans, "Oh God, Blake! What have we done to our son?!" and he pulls her into a hug.

Krystle and Nick, meanwhile, arrive on the scene with some fresh coffee. Krystle looks startled and dismayed by the sight of Blake hugging a sobbing Alexis...and Nick carefully studies her reaction.