Recap: Alexis Morrell Carrington sweeps into the courtroom, takes the witness stand, and is sworn in by Jake Dunham. There's a lot of tittering among the courtroom spectators...and I notice that during the hiatus between Seasons 1 and 2, Fallon got a slightly shorter 'do with bangs. I guess this sort of continuity wasn't so important to '80s TV producers. Alexis introduces herself as Blake's first wife and tells the court they got divorced sixteen years ago...and no, it wasn't an amicable parting of the ways. Alexis lifts the superfluous black veil attached to her floppy white hat - LOL - and removes her sunglasses. She testifies that their marriage produced two children and that it was good at first (sort of), but things went south once Blake's company made him a wealthy man...and when he began to take frequent business trips, they barely spoke or saw each other. Alexis admits that due to her extreme loneliness, she hooked up with Roger Grimes, the Carrington estate manager...and this admission prompts another round of tittering from the courtroom spectators.
Alexis recalls for the court that she and Roger got on well and that he shared her passion for art - so much so that he designed an art studio for her, which Blake agreed to have built on the estate. Jake asks Alexis if she and Roger ever hit the sheets, and she admits they did. He then asks her if Blake ever learned about the affair, so she testifies that Blake caught the two of them in the sack when he arrived home from a business trip earlier than expected. She recalls, "He became violent" and Andy jumps to his feet and objects to any mention of an "alleged act of violence" that happened sixteen years ago - as it's much too long ago to reflect on Blake's behavior today. Jake argues that it is relevant, since it proves that Blake has homicidal tendencies. The judge overrules Andy's objection, so Alexis continues with her testimony and describes how Blake entered the bedroom, discovered her riding Roger's baloney pony, and started shouting "hideous words" at her. He then picked up a large candlestick and started beating Roger with it, nearly killing the guy. This sparks more tittering from the spectators. Alexis says that, unfortunately, the violent incident was never reported to police 'cause Blake bought off all the witnesses - in particular, a servant who was rewarded with "a lifetime membership in the Carrington household". The camera pans over to Joseph, who glances around shiftily and then smirks at Alexis. She continues with her testimony, telling the court that once Blake realized he was being so brazenly cuckolded, he forced her to sign a piece of paper, which effectively cut her off from her children. Blake grumbles to Andy that she's lying, and Andy says he can't wait for his chance to cross examine her and "tear her apart". Blake shakes his head and says there's not going to be any cross examination, and Andy's all, "Wha-a?!" Meanwhile, Jake asks Alexis if she thinks Blake truly loves his children, as he claimed during his testimony, and Alexis says that that's a load of BS, 'cause if he really loved them, he wouldn't have kept them from their mother. Krystle suddenly looks very upset and abruptly leaves the courtroom, and Jake tells the judge he has no further questions. Andy asks Blake again if he can cross examine Alexis, but Blake sternly forbids it.
During the recess, Blake orders Joseph to go back to the mansion and retrieve a bunch of seismic charts and personally deliver them to Cecil. Joseph clucks sympathetically about the damage Alexis is doing to him on the stand, especially considering how "good to her" he was. Blake grimaces and says that gratitude was never Alexis's strong suit. Across the hallway, Jake Dunham looks visibly upset...and Andy goes over to him and wryly says he thought he'd been grinning ear to ear after Alexis's testimony. Jake ignores him and mutters something about heading over to the hospital.
Krystle is in the ladies room, splashing cold water on her face and pensively staring at herself in the mirror.
Andy once again insists to Blake that he wants to question Alexis, in order to expose her as a liar and discredit her testimony - but Blake refuses to allow it and says she's his children's mother...but then hints at a deeper reason. He says he doesn't want anyone else's life to be affected by this trial, then reminds Andy that he didn't kill Ted on purpose and that he expects him to prove that to the jury. Andy wails, "What if I caaaan't?!" and Blake orders him to shut the fuck up and just do it.
Alexis approaches a grim looking Steven and says hello. Fallon, who's sitting nearby, gives her the stink eye and averts her eyes. Alexis tells Steven she didn't come to Denver just to testify - she came to see him. The two recall the sad day she abandoned him when he was seven years old: apparently, she told him she had to leave town to find a special rainbow to paint. Fallon interjects herself in the conversation to bitch at Alexis for giving such damaging testimony against her father. Alexis says she hated doing it, and Fallon retorts that she's even more "beautiful and ugly" than she remembers, and that she's tried hard to forget her. Alexis shoots her a cold stare and tells her she's glad Blake had her teeth fixed, if not her tongue. After she stalks off, Fallon and Steven stare at each other mutely.
Krystle exits the ladies room and runs into Jeff, who asks her if she's OK. She tells him she feel sick and needs to go home for awhile, so Jeff offers to escort her to her car. Fallon, who's lurking in the hallway, looks peeved at Krystle's hasty departure.
When court gets back in session, Fallon and Jeff inform Blake that Krystle went home 'cause she wasn't feeling well. Andy tells the judge he has no questions for Alexis, and the spectators all look stunned and start up with their tittering again. Alexis shrugs, then steps down from the witness box and sashays out of the courtroom. Jake tells the judge he has no more witnesses, then gears up to present his closing arguments. He lumbers toward the jury box, reiterating that Blake cold-bloodedly murdered Ted...and that Ted is lying in his grave in North Dakota, half forgotten during this trial. Mmm, now that Season 2 is well underway, I'd say that poor Ted has been fully forgotten. Jake takes it up a notch and bellows that Ted has been in this courtroom, crying out to Blake: "Why?! Why am I dead?! Why did you murder me?!" He yells that Ted died because he dared get in Blake's way and defy him, then shrieks that whatever Blake can't buy, control, or manipulate - he destroys. He caps off his closing arguments by shouting, "Blake Carrington destroys!! He destroys!!" LOL. The camera pans over to Blake, who's staring despondently into space.
Krystle arrives home and runs into Joseph. He snootily asks her what she's doing home so early, so she explains that she's not feeling well. He glances at her skeptically and says, "I see." He stiffly asks her if there's anything one of the lower level servants can do for her, and Krystle comes right out and asks him if he knew Alexis from her time as The Lady of Carrington Manor. Joseph crisply says he was employed by Alexis, then asks her if she's really trying to get at whether or not Alexis was telling the truth on the stand about Blake's violent anger spells. Krystle's like, "Well, d'yuh", so Joseph says it's not something he's willing to discuss with... but then his voice trails off. Krystle presses him to finish his sentence and asks, "With outsiders?? Why don't you just say it?" Joseph clams up and snoots, "I assume that's all" and stalks off. What an uppity little prick.
During Andy's closing remarks, he calls Ted's death "a tragic accident", then accuses Jake Dunham of bringing in a "cinematic, dramatic final witness". Well, d'yuh. Someone had to liven up this show after such a dull first season. Andy tells the jury it's up to them to decide whether or not Alexis told the truth or a blatant lie. He suddenly raises his voice and yells, "A vengeful lie from the mouth of a woman scorned!! She lied!!" Andy takes a few seconds to compose himself from the outburst, then takes his seat beside Blake. After that, the jury files out of the courtroom to begin their deliberations.
Jeff asks Fallon if she wants to go out for dinner, but Fallon nixes that idea 'cause she doesn't want to leave her father alone in the mansion all evening...then makes a face and sarcastically snarks that Krystle is "ill". Jeff's like, "OK, whatever" and heads off to his office at ColbyCo. Fallon walks over to Steven, but he's not done being pissed off at her from the last conversation they had - when she acted all unsympathetic regarding Ted's death. He also admonishes her for being so snarly to Alexis when she tried to make nice with her, and Fallon snarks back that she doesn't need a mother after a sixteen year absence. She tells him that Alexis walked away with a cool 250K for signing her children away, and Steven furrows his brows and is all, "Wuh??" Fallon claims that she could have seen them if she'd really wanted to...and that the only reason she returned to Denver was to stick it to Blake. (And this is bad because..?)
Andy and Blake leave the courthouse and head toward the limo, but Alexis heads them off and asks Blake if she can speak to him privately for a moment. She asks him why Andy didn't cross examine her in court, and Blake says he ordered him not to 'cause he didn't want to risk her repeating "that piece of filth" she once told him. He snarls, "That filth is a lie and we both know it!" Alexis looks fake innocent and replies, "Do we?" and he snaps, "Yes!" and says their children have been hurt enough. Alexis says she never lies - though fibs are her specialty. Um...OK. Blake reminds her that he once threatened to kill her if she ever repeated the mysterious filthy lie to anyone, and says that the threat still stands. That's probably not a smart thing to utter when you're currently on trial for murder. Alexis looks unconcerned with her ex-husband's threats and says when she needs a trump card she'll play it. Haha! You go, girl! Blake grimaces at her and climbs into his limo.
Inside the limo, Andy informs Blake that Claudia Blaisdel is in the hospital after she and her daughter got into a car accident. That must have been why Jake was so upset earlier.
In the hospital, a bruised and battered looking Claudia begins to stir. The doctor tells her she's very lucky to be alive and that she's going to be fine. She asks about Lindsay, and the doctor tells her that Matthew left a message (with hospital staff..?) that he's absconded with their pet daughter and that Claudia is not to try to find them. Woot woot! The crybaby's gone! Yippee!! Claudia starts flailing around in panic, shrieking at the doctor that he's lying...and in the background we see that a nurse is preparing an injection, presumably to knock Claudia out.
Steven and Alexis are having lunch at an outdoor cafe. He asks her if she ever found that special rainbow to paint...and she says she did, but seeing it was never as good as being with him and Fallon. Steven apologizes for Fallon's cunty behavior earlier, and Alexis breezily assures him it's all good. She says she likes him best anyway - 'cause he was always her son, whereas Fallon was always Blake's daughter. She jokes that she got the better end of the stick, and Steven gives her a rare smile. She tells him he's a good, handsome man - and this causes Steven to raise his eyebrows and repeat, "Man..?" He says he doubts his father would agree, but Alexis tells him not to be ashamed of his gayness and that it doesn't make him any less a man. He should probably get that from her in writing.
Blake is at the hospital, berating one of the doctors for not allowing him into Claudia's room. He rails about how he's on the board of directors at the hospital and that he contributed $5 million to the new wing. What an arrogant, self-entitled douchewad. The hapless doctor caves and tells Blake he can visit Claudia, but warns him that she's under heavy sedation. Blake tip-toes into Claudia's room and finds her awake but groggy. She tells him to go away and then snarks at him for coming to gloat over her misfortune...and he tells her she has it all wrong, and that he came because he feels responsible for her being there. Over her protests, he seats himself next to her bed and tells her that it wasn't his idea to put her on the stand - that his lawyer did it without his OK. He begs her to believe that he never intended to hurt her, but Claudia sullenly says she doesn't believe in anything anymore...except for pain. Blake's like, "OK then" and tells her if she needs anything she should give him a call.
Fallon barges into Krystle's room, notices that she's napping, and loudly slams the door shut. When the ruckus jolts Krystle awake, Fallon sarcastically asks, "Sorry, did I wake you?" Krystle tells her she was taking a nap, then looks over at the clock and realizes with horror that she missed the entire afternoon of Blake's trial. Fallon tells her not to bother going back to the courthouse, since the jury is in the process of deliberating. She calls her mother a she-lion for tearing her father apart on the stand, then gives Krystle the stink-eye and demands to know why she walked out on Blake's trial. Krystle explains that she wasn't feeling well...and when Fallon derisively rolls her eyes, Krystle asks her if she thinks she's lying. Fallon dramatically holds up her palms in the air and says, "Heaven forfend" and bitchily says she'd never doubt The Noble Lady of the House of Carrington. Krystle glares at her and tells her she's not enjoying her unwelcome visit. Fallon accuses Krystle of believing Alexis' "lies" about Blake - and that by walking out, she was sending the jury the message that Blake is guilty. She bitchily warns Krystle that if her father isn't set free, she's not going to rest until she pays her back for the imagined misdeed...then storms out of the room.
Blake, Fallon, and Jeff are sitting around the dining table, quietly picking at their food. Blake excuses himself to go upstairs to check on Krystle, and Fallon snottily remarks to Jeff that Krystle really knows how to play her father: getting him to come to her after she walked out on him. I wonder if Fallon ever gets exhausted by her relentless bitchitude.
Krystle is nestled on a sofa, staring pensively into the fireplace when Blake comes a-knockin'. She invites him in, and he tells her how empty the dinner table felt without her. She tells him she's not hungry and explains for the hundredth time this episode that she's not feeling well. Blake says he knows that she asked Joseph whether or not Alexis was telling the truth on the stand (Joseph is such a tattletail), so he admits that he did, in fact, beat the crap out of Roger Grimes. But he denies forcibly separating Alexis from their children. Blake insists that the only thing that ever mattered to Alexis was money, and Krystle pensively mulls that over, not completely sure if she should believe her douchewad husband.
Alexis is over at Steven's apartment, looking fabulous in a white halter style top. She tells Steven that for years she's been afraid of returning to Denver, because Roger - who was also bought off by Blake after their affair was discovered - had apparently threatened to tell police she was the one who beat him with the candlestick. Please. It's hardly likely the police would buy that lie. But when Jake Dunham told her that Roger was safely dead, she knew it was safe to return. Steven is disgusted with Blake and snarks that he thinks he's a god. Alexis changes the subject to something more upbeat by presenting Steven with a gift: a painting she did of him (from memory) at the age of six. He looks delighted, and the two reminisce about how she used to try to get him to sit for portraits. She sighs about how much she misses her art studio on the Carrington estate and says she had so many happy times there...then looks over at Steven expectantly. Subtle.
Blake tells Krystle he's sorry for all the dumb crap he's pulled as a result of his deeply rooted anger management issues. He also laments Ted's unfortunate demise and says he just wanted to grab the gay man and shove him out of his house...and out of Steven's life. He promises Krystle he'll somehow become a better man if he's freed by the jury - then looks contemplative and mutters, "If I'm freed. My God." He shakes his head in bewilderment at the notion of his freedom being in the hands of a jury, and then heads toward the door...and Krystle pensively stares after him.