Recap: It's moving day for Steven, and the Carrington servants are busily helping him carry his belongings down the grand staircase and into the foyer. Blake and Krystle arrive home during all this chaos and ask Steven what he's up to, so he tells them he's moving into a three room apartment that's located near the university. Blake sneers and bitchily retorts, "Exactly how much Keats and Shelley does a twenty-four year old man need?" so Steven patiently explains to his ogre father that he's taking an extension course in business administration so he can pursue a Master's degree in petroleum engineering (or some such thing). That shuts Blake up pretty quick. Steven also announces that he's starting a new job tomorrow, and Blake snarkishly assumes that he'll be working for Matthew Blaisdel. When Krystle tries to gently shush her troll of a husband, he snaps at her to shut it...so Steven quickly informs him that the new job is with Denver-Carrington. Blake's dour, wrinkly face suddenly lights up, and Krystle smiles with weary relief. Steven explains that he chose to take a job at one of the refineries 'cause he wants to roll up his sleeves and get dirty working from the ground up, just like Blake did. Somehow I find that hard to visualize. Blake tells Steven he's very pleased...and to demonstrate his sudden affection for his waywardly gay son, he awkwardly pats Steven's upper arm for a few seconds. Krystle, meanwhile, gives Steven a full on hug...and then he heads outside to load his stuff onto his truck. Krystle tells her dickwad husband that Steven looks really happy and that his life appears to be straightening out (no pun intended, I'm pretty sure) now that he's on his own.
Over at the rig, Walter shows Matthew the fancy white car he just bought for him, but Matthew looks unimpressed with the expensive purchase and orders him to take it back. He reminds Walter that the money isn't exactly pouring in yet - plus they have Blake looming over them, doing everything within his power to run them out of business. Walter stubbornly refuses to return the car and tells Matthew that if he wants to do business with people in the oil industry, he needs to look, act, and talk like he's a success...and then starts nattering unintelligibly about living out his dream, like millionaires do. Matthew chortles and tells him he's made and lost more money than anyone he knows, then urges him to consider settling down, particularly since he's not exactly a spring chicken anymore. This remark seems to piss Walter off for some reason, so Matthew quickly backpedals and mumbles something about his own family problems. He then reverses everything he just said a minute earlier and agrees to keep the fancy new car and says they'll use it as a company car. The phone inside the office trailer rings, and one of the riggers comes out and tells Matthew he's wanted on the phone by some lady.
Steven drops by the book store where Claudia works to tell her about his new apartment and that he wants her to be there tonight. He woodenly says, "I need you. I want you. I love you" - LOL - then tells her he can't get through the day unless he knows he's going to see her. She tells him that while she'd love to be there, she's got a whole other life going as a wife and mother - but he just shrugs and says he doesn't think he'll be able to make it to the end of the week without seeing her. He asks her if she feels the same way, and she unconvincingly assures him she does, and then tells him she might be able to get together on Friday, but he moans that that's soo far away. He places his hands on her shoulders, looking like a stiff automaton, and makes her promise they'll see each other sooner than Friday. Lindsay, meanwhile, happens to enter the store at that moment and catches the gesture. Claudia promises Steven they'll see each other sooner than Friday, and Steven seems satisfied enough with that, then robotically turns toward the door and exits the store while Lindsay hides behind a bookshelf. Once he's gone, she walks over to her mom and tells her she told the school she had to go home for lunch, then asks her if they can go somewhere to eat. Claudia thinks that over and says OK. Lindsay furrows her brows and asks her mom if that was Steven Carrington she was just talking to, and Claudia says it was, but then fibs and tells her he just stopped by to look for some books for a university course he's taking.
Krystle and Matthew meet up in a park, and she tells him she recently ran into Claudia and that she knows they used to hit the sheets while she was laid up at the funny farm. Matthew mulls that over for a second and asks her how Claudia found out - which I found funny, since there doesn't seem to be anyone in Denver who isn't aware of their affair - and Krystle's like, "I dunno" and says she blew off answering and told Claudia to talk to him about his extramarital cheating. Matthew nods approvingly and says, "You did raat" and reports that things between him and his wife are good. Krystle smiles, clearly pleased to hear that...and then Matthew tells her she looks real purdy and when she smiles. The two then decide they're both content with their unstable spouses, and Krystle tells him she has to get going...and the camera stays fixed on Matthew for what seems like a really looong time while he stares at her backside as she sashays across the park.
Back at the mansion, Blake is angrily snapping, "I will not tolerate embezzlement!" Turns out Michael charged $325 to Blake's credit card to pay for damage he caused to a woman's car - the woman being his gossipy British lover, Jennifer. He tells Blake he should consider the $325 a business expense, since Jennifer regularly reports to him on important matters of interest. Blake snaps, "You seem to be enjoying all this" and Michael's like, "D'yuh!" and gleefully informs him that he has another tidbit that should please him: Steven has been seeing a woman for the past few weeks...and by seeing he means full on doinking. Blake takes a few seconds to process that confusing intel and asks who this paramour is, and Michael reports that it's Claudia. Blake chuckles, clearly amused that his straight gay son is sleeping with Matthew Blaisdel's wife, then concedes that the $325 was, indeed, money well spent. Krystle suddenly bursts into the room to announce that Jeff is home...and Michael quickly scurries out of the library. Blake, who's suddenly in a rare good mood, tells Krystle it's good for Steven to be out on his own, then orders her to buy the lad a housewarming present from the two of them, specifying, "Something kind of romantic, from both of us." Huh? The two head into the living room, where Jeff is making out with Fallon. Blake welcomes him home from his Middle East/Paris trip and tells him he should take some time off to be with his wife. Jeff wistfully says he's got too much work to do, so Blake assures him he's already squared it away with Cecil and insists he take a relaxing holiday. Jeff hands Krystle a small wrapped gift, then gives a giant gift bag to Fallon, who in no way deserves a bag of gifts. After Blake and Krystle exit the room, Jeff asks Fallon if she'd like to take a drive with him, but she puts on her sour face and tells him she's not interested. Jeff chooses to ignore her complete disinterest in him/their marriage and says he missed her, then leans in and subjects her to an intense smooch.
Matthew shows Claudia a bunch of travel brochures and suggests they go on the honeymoon they never had as teenagers, but Claudia's not really interested and retorts, "It's a bit late for that kind of talk." He disagrees, so she tries to get out of it by saying it's too expensive, she has nothing to wear, and that she can't take time off from her new book store job. He points out that they'd only be gone for the weekend, and since they'd just be going to a ski resort, she can wear whatever's already in her closet. She asks him why he wants to go away with her, and he says he owes it to her and that he's made mistakes that have hurt her. He says, "I love you" and she kind of perks up at that and goes, "You do?" and he's like, "Um. Sure." He tells her he wants them to create a lot of memories together before they're old and grey, and she carefully mulls that over and agrees to go on a belated honeymoon.
Jeff tells Fallon he really really wants to move out of the mansion, but Fallon doesn't get why and says they have everything they need right here. Jeff paces around her girlishly decorated pink and purple bedroom - LOL - trying to explain how uncomfortable it makes him feel to be living under her father's roof indefinitely. He proposes they move to New Orleans, where he can take over one of Colbyco's offices and finally be his own boss, and says they can buy a house for just the two of them. Fallon, who's painting her toenails, shrugs disinterestedly and mutters, "I hate those swamps." Jeff finally gets suitably irked and yells, "What do you like?!!" then snaps that he's not stupid - and this causes Fallon to pause her toenail painting and smirk to herself - and he quickly corrects himself and says, "I'm not as stupid as you think I am." LOL. He says he totally gets that she's not madly in love with him and knew she'd slutted around plenty before they hooked up...but, for some inane reason, he convinced himself that he loved her enough for both of them. Fallon looks bored and continues painting her toenails, and he snappishly asks her if she's even listening to him. She sighs wearily and asks him if they really need to discuss this right now, and he gets all mad that he's constantly having to repress himself so no one can overhear them argue. He accuses her of caring only about pleasing her father...then derisively snaps that she should have married Blake instead of him. This, for some reason, sparks a reaction, and Fallon leaps from the bed and bolts out of the room and down the grand staircase...and Jeff chases after her. She runs out the front door, gets into a car that's conveniently parked right outside, and squeals off into the night. Blake, who's obviously heard all the ruckus coming from their bedroom, rushes outside and asks Jeff if that was Fallon who just drove off...and if everything's OK. Jeff despondently tells him that his nitwit wife just needed some air.
Fallon ends up driving over to Michael's servants' quarters. She actually knocks this time, and when he opens his French doors to let her in, the two stare at each other hungrily before they start going at it.
Matthew and Claudia check into the fancy ski lodge where they're belatedly honeymooning. Matthew runs into an old friend, Jake Dunham, who's there for a convention. Matthew introduces him to Claudia and tells him they're celebrating the success of his oil well...and they arrange to get together later, along with Jake's wife, for drinks and dancing.
Disco! The two couples are in the hotel's discotheque, enjoying a round of drinks. After some banal chitchat, Jake and his wife head over to the dance floor, so then Claudia and Matthew look each other over and decide they too will indulge in a jig. We then get way more footage than we need of extras boogying under the bright disco ball. Later, Claudia and Jake's wife are in the ladies room, and Jake's wife tells Claudia that while her husband is kind of a dumbass, he's a rich dumbass...and she's greatly enjoying her luxurious lifestyle on his dime. She says she'd really like to have a hot affair, but that she's too lazy to make it happen...and after contemplating that notion for a few seconds, she says to Claudia, "But we don't do that, do we? Women like us?" Claudia just stares at herself mutely in the mirror, no doubt contemplating her implausible extramarital affair with Steven.
Fallon and Krystle are riding together in the back of the limo, being chauffeured by Michael, when their vehicle is suddenly penned in on both sides by two cars. Michael tells the ladies to stay put while he exits the car to see whassup. Three men suddenly rush over and start beating him senseless, and Krystle and Fallon spill out of the back seat to try to come to his aid, but are held back by one of the thugs. After Michael gets kicked, punched, and slapped around for several minutes, Krystle and Fallon rush over to tend to him. Krystle wants to take him to the hospital, but Michael is adamant that he doesn't want to go. He tells them the reason for the beating was a gambling debt, then gives Fallon a knowing look and says, "I broke the rules", and warns her not to say anything dumb. She immediately catches on that the beating was a punishment for doinking her, so she plays along and concurs - in front of a very confused Krystle - that it was indeed a gambling debt (nudge, wink) that got him into trouble. Subtle, Fallon.
Fallon admonishes Blake for giving the order to have Michael beaten up, and Blake just grumbles that it's no concern of hers whether or not he gave the order. I'll take that as proof that he did, in fact, give the order, which further proves what a psycho-nut he is to order three thugs to beat his chauffeur on a public street in full view of his wife and daughter. Fallon tells him she was just as much a part of the illicit affair as Michael was, and that it was her idea for the two of them to hook up in the first place. She asks him why he's not having her beaten up, and he snaps, "I probably should have, but I know that won't stop you." He then reminds her she's a Carrington, and that she will not shame him or their family, so she whines, "You can't just go around Colorado beating up every man I sleep with!" True enough - I doubt even he could employ enough men to keep up with all the beatings that that would require. He grabs his daughter by the arm, gets all in her face and snarls, "Try me, Fallon." He reminds her that she's married to Jeff and has to make the marriage work, and she angrily pulls away from him and storms out of the library.
Claudia arrives home with a few bags of groceries and is putting the food away when she suddenly stares over at the phone longingly. She dials Steven's number just as Lindsay arrives home and overhears her end of the conversation. She picks up the phone extension in the living room and listens in as Claudia apologizes to Steven about Friday night and explains that Matthew took her away for the weekend. Steven gives her his new address and tells her he wants her to come over later, and she promises to be there.
Lindsay is at an outdoor cafe, having a milkshake with her little friend Christopher. That's kind of surprising - I didn't think he'd want to hang out with her anymore after her nutty display in the Chauffeur Tells a Secret episode. She asks him if he'd like to go out with her tonight, then asks him if he can borrow his dad's car so they can go for a drive. Christopher's definitely into the idea and gives her a suggestive grin.
Claudia arrives at Steven's apartment just as Lindsay and Christopher pull onto the street. She orders him to park, and he puckers up for some kissing action, but is rebuffed when she asks him if they can listen to the radio. She rebuffs his kissing again to ask him to fetch her some cigarettes, and he reluctantly exits the car and runs over to the nearest store to buy her some. Meanwhile, inside Steven's apartment, Steven and Claudia are in bed, enjoying a post-coital canoodle. He goes off on one of his weird tangents about a tree he planted near his cabin by the lake, which he wants her to see once it grows bigger. Claudia tells him that this will be their very last doink, and he's all, "Wuh? Why?!" and instead of answering, she shuts him up with a smooch. Meanwhile, Christopher returns to the car with a pack of cigarettes and lights one for Lindsay. She puffs on it a few times, coughs, then spots her mom and Steven exiting the apartment and kissing each other goodbye. Lindsay tells Christopher he can kiss her now...and while the two are lip-locked, she stares across the street and her mom and Steven. Once her mom drives off, Lindsay announces to Christopher that she's ready to leave, and he scrunches his face in confusion and is all, "Wha-a?"
Matthew is frantically calling around town, trying to locate his idiot child. He tells Claudia she's not with Christopher or Tonya...and in the next scene, we see that she's at Walter's house, tearfully begging him to let her move in with him. He pretends to be OK with that idea in theory, but explains that he can't really do that, since she has two parents who seem to want her to live under their roof. He tells her she can't solve her problems by running away, and when the crybaby wails that she doesn't want to go back, he firmly tells her she has to go back, 'cause that's just the way life is.
Matthew admonishes Claudia for taking a job when she should have been home, caring for their pet daughter. The two bicker about that for awhile, blah blah...and then Matthew accuses her of resenting Lindsay for taking away her childhood. Hmm...I wonder if he meant to say young adulthood. He yells that he's suffered too, then accuses her of resenting him 'cause he went back to college. Walter finally calls and asks them to please swing by his place and take their weeping daughter off his hands. Matthew and Claudia immediately race over to his house, and when they get there, Lindsay shoots them both the stink-eye, then runs out of the house and races down the street at top speed. What a mental patient. Matthew darts out of the house and chases her...and eventually he catches her. She glares at him with a maniacal expression on her face, then dissolves into tears and falls into his arms. When Claudia arrives on the scene, Lindsay gives her mother a bizarre looking death glare, then gets to her feet and robotically stalks toward the car. Matthew then gets the exact same maniacal expression on his face, and I wonder if we're supposed to interpret this as a sudden realization that his wife's been cheating on him...and that she's been cheating on him with a straight gay man.
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