Dynasty - Season 1, Episode 12
Recap: Blake is leaning against a tree on his vast estate, staring over at his mansion. Michael spots him and wanders over to him, his face still bruised from last episode's beating. Blake snidely says he heard he's been MIA for a few days, then dickishly asks him if he had a touch of the flu. Michael doesn't bother playing along and goes, "Um...no. You had me worked over when you found out I was doinking your daughter. Remember?!" Hee! Blake feigns innocence and replies, "Did I?" then says if that were the case (it is the case, douchebag), he should be thanking him for the valuable lesson. Michael's like, "Whatever" and says he doesn't want to disturb his alone time, but he recently heard a tidbit he thought might interest him. Blake sneers and mockingly retorts, "What tantalizing piece of gossip do you have for me today?" Michael tells him it's about Krystle and a certain emerald necklace (gaaa...that again??). Blake doesn't respond and just stares mutely at him, and Michael mutely stares back. [Warning: there's a lot of mute staring and glaring in this episode.]
Fallon's over at Steven's tiny new apartment, helping him cook dinner. As they clown around in the kitchen, she accidentally spills sauce on her blouse, so Steven tells her to go into his bedroom and change into one of his shirts. She enters his closet and finds a spare shirt...then spots a silk teddy and stares at it - intrigued and, no doubt, puzzled. When she re-enters the kitchen, she asks her brother when he started seeing a female, then holds up the silk teddy. Steven gets irked and orders her to give it to him, then starts chasing her around his tiny living room. Fallon urges him to tell Blake about this new development 'cause it might make him feel better about everything...and by everything she means his no longer gay lifestyle, but Steven rightly points out that Blake should just love and accept him regardless of who he's doinking. Fallon asks him if he loves Blake, and Steven admits that he actually does love the old goat, probably even more than she does. She mulls that over while the doorbell rings - and it's Jeff, who has arrived for dinner clutching a bottle of wine.
Krystle carries a tray of food into the library, where Blake is sulking and pretending to work. She tells him she's worried about all the long hours he's been putting in lately, then gives him a from behind hug - and he tells her he's been under a lot of pressure, but is otherwise fine. She argues that he doesn't look fine, handsome though he is (ick), then abruptly changes the subject and says she'd like to throw Cecil Colby a birthday party. Blake snaps, "Why?" so she reminds him that the guy is his closest friend (he is? really?), plus he loaned him money when he needed it. Blake bitches about being beholden to Cecil, then sarcastically asks, "For that he should get a party?" Krystle says a party would be nice for both him and Cecil, but Blake snaps, "Forget it!" and grumbles that Cecil doesn't need a damn party, and then barks at her to leave him alone. He glares at her and snarls, "Is that clear?!" It truly is a mystery why anyone, much less a seemingly pleasant and attractive woman like Krystle, would stay married to such a relentlessly detestable turd. Krystle asks him why he's acting like such a prick, and he narrows his beady little eyes at her and barks, "Have you been faithful to me?!" Krystle stares at him mutely for a few seconds and says he's definitely not an easy man to live with (well d'yuh - gigantic understatement alert), then adds that she has nothing scandalous she wishes to confess to at this time. Haha...nicely done, Krystle. She wisely beats a hasty retreat while Blake glares after her suspiciously. For such an arrogant dickwad, Blake is annoyingly insecure about his marriage - which, it should be pointed out, is only two months old at this point.
During dinner, Fallon razzes Steven for suddenly switching teams, while Jeff is acting all sullen and quiet 'cause he didn't get approval to transfer to Louisiana. Apparently Blake got wind of his plans, called Cecil, and ordered him to squelch the whole thing. Fallon swears she had nothing to do with that, and a sympathetic Steven explains to Jeff that Blake often meddles in peoples' lives in many hideously intrusive ways. Fallon just rolls her eyes and orders Jeff to man the fuck up and stand up to Blake and Cecil, and not come crying to her about his problems. She's such a loving, supportive spouse, that Fallon.
Blake and his manservant Joseph are playing a game of pool, but Blake looks annoyed and distracted. Joseph remarks that his mind isn't on his game today, and Blake snarks about how he's surrounded by people he can't trust. Joseph says he hopes he's not including him in that category, and Blake assures the ass-licker it's other people...and then compares himself to Julius Cesar, a man who was so callously betrayed by those he trusted. LOL...dramatic much? Krystle suddenly enters the room and kisses Blake hello, and Blake tells her he's reconsidered her party request and now thinks it's a great idea to throw Cecil a birthday party. He then gets an evil, crafty look on his face and asks her to wear the emerald necklace he bought her (to the party). She looks stricken for a few seconds, then mutters, "Of course" and stiffly exits the room. Blake returns to his and Joseph's pool game, starts playing more aggressively, and wins. He cheekily demands his winnings of $5 from Joseph.
Jeff has just stepped out of the shower and is strutting around Fallon's bedroom in just a towel. Fortunately, he's toned and good looking enough to be on display like that. He kisses her as she does her makeup, but she shoves him away and orders him to get dressed for the party. He tells her he'd like a pre-party doink, then adds that Cecil probably won't mind - in fact, it would make him happy. (Would it? Ew..) Fallon's not really up for a doink and tells him she doesn't want to disappoint anyone 'cause it's an important night, and Jeff gets all bitchy and snaps, "For who?" Out of nowhere, he demands to know why she married him, and she just kind of shrugs and says she wed him 'cause he's good looking. He brushes that off and says lots of guys are good looking [true, but they don't all have your dimples and dreamy eyes, Jeff], so Fallon says it's 'cause he's rich, and he retorts, "Not as rich as you." She flails around for another possible reason, but the best thing she can come up with is that he's probably kind to orphans. LOL. He grabs her by the arm, yanks her toward him and demands a real answer, so she blurts out that she made a deal with the devil. He furrows his caterpillar-esque eyebrows and goes, "What kind of deal?" but she suddenly loses her nerve and tells him to forget it. He refuses to let it go and grabs her by the hair (!) and demands to know, "What kind of deal??!" Yeesh...it's like he suddenly morphed into Blake. Chillax, dude. Fallon gives him a wild-eyed stare and snaps, "You disgust me!" so he releases her hair, and she tells him the reason they're married is 'cause Cecil promised her he'd bail Blake out if she married his idiot nephew. Jeff just stares at her, speechless...and Fallon immediately backtracks and rescinds what she just said three seconds ago. She says she just told him that 'cause he made her mad. Jeff stalks toward her, looking like he's going to strike her, then coldly tells her he's going to get dressed.
As Krystle gets ready for the party, she starts to put on a lovely pearl necklace, but Blake suddenly appears and barks at her that he ordered her to wear the emerald necklace. OMFG. She argues that pearls would look better with her strapless blue gown than emeralds would (which, aesthetically speaking, she's absolutely right), but he insists she wear the emeralds. He then walks over to their safe, pulls out the velvet box, and tells her he wants her to wear them "one last time". He reminds her that she once offered to help him out financially, and thus would like to sell the necklace and pocket the cash. Krystle stares pensively into space, and Blake kisses her bare shoulder before leaving the room. What a passive-aggressive douchewad.
The partygoers - Blake, Krystle, Jeff, Fallon, Andy (?? not sure why he'd be invited), Andy's wife, Cecil, and Cecil's girlfriend Bethany - are all gathered on the Carrington jet, en route to their party destination. Cecil calls Blake over and tells him his gal Bethany has a question for him...so Bethany, an unmistakable airhead with a frizzed out, stage 4 perm, asks him how many miles he gets to the gallon on his plane. Blake shifts awkwardly and doesn't answer, and Jeff remarks to Fallon that Bethany is a very pretty girl. (I strongly beg to differ.) Across the cabin, Bethany is giggling girlishly at whatever Blake just said...and Fallon looks irked, while Krystle sits stiffly and looks miserable. She suddenly gets up and walks over to Andy, whispers something to him, and he goes, "Sure." Andy's wife notices the secretive exchange and asks Jeff if she has anything to worry about...and Jeff just shrugs and goes, "I dunno." LOL. Krystle discreetly tells Andy she needs a lot of cash and doesn't want Blake knowing anything about it, but Andy basically tells her his loyalty lies with Blake, not her.
Blake offers to give Bethany a tour of the cockpit, so Fallon takes the opportunity to go over and chat with Cecil. She sarcastically asks him if his new girlfriend is a birthday present to himself, and he compliments Fallon on her charm in always finding something nice to say about everyone. I think that was meant to be a sarcastic retort, but with him I can't always tell. Fallon compliments Bethany and her various attributes, and Cecil says she's a kind and loving girl who cares for him in a special way...and that it must pain her (Fallon) that someone meaningful has come into his life. He then hints that he might actually marry the twit, and for some reason this prompts Fallon to reach for his hand and clasp it...and Jeff catches the move and looks visibly upset.
At the party destination, a French restaurant, Jeff is dancing with Bethany, which doesn't thrill Cecil. Blake asks Fallon if she can do something 'bout that, and she pouts and whines, "Why me?" He barks back that Jeff's her husband, so then she reminds him that he's the one who picked Jeff out for her, so he should be the one to tell him if he's misbehaving. She cheekily suggests he have Jeff beaten up - heh - and Blake pretends to mull that over and says it's not a bad idea. He then takes matters into his own hands and announces that he wants to propose a toast, then summons Jeff and Bethany back to the table. Bethany gives Blake a stoned looking, wide-eyed stare, while Jeff just looks pissed off. Blake toasts Cecil and thanks him for bailing him out - and suddenly Jeff interjects and quips, "And it only cost him his daughter." Badoom bah. Cecil hisses at him to sit down and shut it, but Jeff refuses and says he's got dancing feet - LOL - and Bethany, who clearly has no more than two brain cells to rub together, tells Cecil that his nephew is a very good dancer. She then kisses Cecil on the forehead, and he snaps his head away and barks, "Please!" Haha! Jeff steers Bethany away from his uncle and rhetorically asks her if she's really met everyone at the table. He starts with Cecil, who he calls "an unprincipled conglomerator" and she scrunches her face in confusion and asks, "What's that?" so Jeff explains that he's a white slaver and Bethany gasps, "Not Cecil!" LOL. Jeff then moves on to Andy, who he criticizes for getting "thick around the middle" (?? he looks reasonably trim to me) and giving up a respectable law career to shuffle around papers for Blake, a job which pays an exorbitant salary. (That actually sounds like a clever choice.) And speaking of Blake, he says he never did care much for the old creep and wasn't exactly thrilled to gain him as a father-in-law. He then toasts Krystle, who he says will soon pay the price for marrying into this fucked up family, then chirps, "Good luck! You'll need it." Krystle, who looks like she's about to burst into tears, gets up and flees the table. Jeff looks pleased with himself for offending nearly everyone at the table, then needlessly announces he promised Bethany the next dance...and when the camera pans over to Bethany, she grins like an idiot and claps with excitement. Blake orders Fallon to go after Krystle to make sure she's OK, and Fallon makes a face and tells him to do it, but he refuses and barks, "I said go!" Yikes.
Krystle's standing outside the back of the restaurant, where the trash is kept, and Fallon appears and tells her that Jeff is just drunk and doesn't know what he's saying. Krystle says she's not upset about what Jeff said, so Fallon guesses that the source of her angst is the stupid emerald necklace. She knows all about how Krystle pawned the real one and gave the money to Matthew. She's not sure if Blake knows that, then tells Krystle she once hocked a watch he gave her, then gave the money to a soccer player. LOL. Fallon kind of shrugs and says, "Wish I could help you out" and flounces back into the restaurant.
Jeff is slow dancing with a really drunk looking Bethany...and eventually he twigs onto the fact that she's barely conscious, so he steers her lifeless body toward the piano and sets her down on a chair. Fallon, meanwhile, returns to the table, and Jeff announces to Blake that he and his wife are taking a cab back to the plane. She refuses to go anywhere with him, but Blake snaps, "Fallon, you go with your husband!" and she dutifully obeys. On his way out, Jeff advises Cecil to retrieve his drunk girlfriend from where she's slumped over, next to the piano...and suddenly Blake proposes a Happy Birthday toast to Cecil, and Cecil grins happily and raises his glass in response. I wonder if the writers had one giant collective brain fart when they wrote this party segment.
Michael intercepts Matthew outside his and Walter's new oil company headquarters, motions toward the Carrington limo, and says his boss wants to see him. Matthew walks over and leans inside, surprised to see Fallon. She orders him to get in, and he says he's pretty busy...so then she tells him that Krystle's in a big mess 'cause of him. He mulls that over for a second and climbs inside. She raises the privacy glass so that gossipy Michael can't eavesdrop, then tells him that the source of Krystle's troubles is the emerald necklace - more specifically, the money she loaned him after she hocked the dumb thing. She says she thinks Blake might know about it and intends to do something, and Matthew goes, "Like what?" and Fallon says she doesn't know, but doubts it'll be very pleasant. She tells him she wants to help Krystle...and by help, she wants Matthew to divorce his wife and take Krystle off of Blake's (and her) hands. Matthew doesn't offer a retort and says he wants out of the car, then picks up the car phone and orders Michael to pull over. Fallon asks him what he's going to do about this, but he just stays mute on the subject. She snarkishly accuses him of not believing in divorce, but being perfectly OK with adultery...but he just continues to ignore her until he climbs out of the car.
Blake looks over the many bottles of booze he has stashed in the library, and Krystle implores him not have anything more to drink. He sarcastically asks her if she's worried about him, and she concurs she is. He snarls, "Do you really care?" and she's like, "Of course" and that she's concerned about his drinking, as well as the shitty way he's been treating people lately. She's disturbed that he ordered to have his chauffeur beaten up, and he grumbles, "What do you know about that?" so she reminds the nut-wrench that she was there and witnessed the whole ugly thing. He mumbles, "And what was I supposed to do? Duel over my daughter's honor?" and Krystle's like, "Well, no. You could have just fired the guy." [Why, Krystle? Why??! Why do you stay married to this douchenozzle??] Blake takes a gulp of whatever kind of booze he's drinking, gets a faraway look in his eyes, and muses [and this is a direct quote], "What happened to those days...when daughters were virgins? When sons took over their fathers' businesses? Wives cherished their husbands, forsaking all others?" He then glares at Krystle and then the two have the following inane exchange:
Blake: "Do you love me, Krystle?"
Krystle: "Of course I do."
Blake: "As much as I love you?"
Blake: "More than any man you've ever known?"
Blake: "Then show me. Show me how much you love me."
Krystle forces a smile on her face, walks over to the needy old creep, caresses his wrinkly face and smooches him for what seems like a looong time. When they finally part lips, Blake pours himself a drink and just quietly stares at her. I have to say...aside from his regular boorish, passive-aggressive behavior, I really do think there's something seriously wrong with the guy.
Steven's working at the refinery when he's told he has a visitor. It's Ted! He tells Steven he's on a leave of absence from his job 'cause he wanted to see him and be near him. Steven looks conflicted and tells him that things have changed...and by things he means his current sexual status. He tells Ted he's getting his life together with someone else: a woman. Ted scrunches his face in confusion and is all, "Wha-a?" but Steven's recent hetero hook-up doesn't deter him, and he still intends to stick around. He tells Steven he heard he has a new apartment, then asks for the address...and a key. He eagerly offers to cook dinner for the two of them that evening, and Steven looks contemplative.
Krystle meets Matthew in a cafe, and he slides a large package across the table. She opens it, startled to see it's filled with cash. He explains that now that the well has come in, it was easy to get a loan to pay her back. He says the money really helped and thanks her...and she tells him that getting the money back will really help her smooth things over with her dickwad husband, then gives him a happy smile.
Ted's over at Steven's apartment, and the two are enjoying the evening together. They're playing some sort of trivia/word game and reminiscing about old times. Ted boldly asks him if he can stay over tonight, and Steven mulls that over and says yes...and Ted looks pleased.
Krystle arrives at the office building where she pawned the emerald necklace. The guy she sold it to tells her he never expected her to return, and that he sold the thing to someone else: a South American gentleman. Krystle's like, "Oooh noo!!" and stares back at him, stricken. Duhn! Duhn! Duhn!
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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