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Whitney articulates her 'no kissing on the first date' policy
"With This Ring..."
Original airdate: 11/15/2007
Episode summary: Whitney goes on a date with her chatty trainer. Heidi and Spencer argue about wedding planning.
Original airdate: 11/15/2007
Episode summary: Whitney goes on a date with her chatty trainer. Heidi and Spencer argue about wedding planning.
Recap: While out for breakfast, Heidi tells Spencer she wants them to set a date for their wedding, and he translates that to mean she's totally up for eloping to Cabo San Lucas. Heidi scrunches her face in annoyance, gives that suggestion a hard no, and reminds him that she's made it abundantly clear that she wants to have a traditional wedding in a California church. She says she thought that guys generally didn't care about wedding planning details...and Spencer says he doesn't, and that she should just tell him when and where to show up, and to keep her fingers crossed that he's wearing a nice suit.
Lauren, Audrina, and Whitney are at the gym, working out under the supervision of Jarett the Chatty Trainer. The gals discuss their evening plans to go out to a sports bar named Big Wings...and for some God-only-knows-why reason, Whitney invites Jarett to tag along, and he looks delighted at being included.
While getting a post-workout bite at the Elixir Cafe, Whitney coos to Lauren and Audrina about how nice she thinks Jarett is, and about how excited she is to be jumping back into the dating pool.
Heidi and Spencer arrive at Westminster Presbyterian Church, aka a venue prospect for their wedding. They're greeted by Pastor Martha Campbell, who briefly describes their various services: marriage counselling, flower options, and music selection. Heidi looks totes into all that while Spencer grimaces, most notably at the mention of marriage counselling. Martha advises them to book the church six months prior to their wedding date and then leaves the two to discuss in private...and Heidi gushes about how this church is perrrrrfect, while a less-than-thrilled looking Spencer's all, "Meh, I could take it or leave it."
Lauren, Audrina, and Whitney are at the gym, working out under the supervision of Jarett the Chatty Trainer. The gals discuss their evening plans to go out to a sports bar named Big Wings...and for some God-only-knows-why reason, Whitney invites Jarett to tag along, and he looks delighted at being included.
While getting a post-workout bite at the Elixir Cafe, Whitney coos to Lauren and Audrina about how nice she thinks Jarett is, and about how excited she is to be jumping back into the dating pool.
Heidi and Spencer arrive at Westminster Presbyterian Church, aka a venue prospect for their wedding. They're greeted by Pastor Martha Campbell, who briefly describes their various services: marriage counselling, flower options, and music selection. Heidi looks totes into all that while Spencer grimaces, most notably at the mention of marriage counselling. Martha advises them to book the church six months prior to their wedding date and then leaves the two to discuss in private...and Heidi gushes about how this church is perrrrrfect, while a less-than-thrilled looking Spencer's all, "Meh, I could take it or leave it."
"Us pastors consider pre-marital counselling services to be vital to couples."
"While I have the opposite opinion."
Whitney, Lauren, and Audrina are primping for their night out at Big Wings. Lauren marvels at Whitney's seemingly bizarre ensemble of a pink lingerie dress, tights, and moccasins...and how she's somehow able to make that combination work and look fantastic. As the three head out, Whitney gushes about how excited she is to hang with Jarett...and her unabating enthusiasm about this chatty guy makes me think of his presence on The Hills as something akin to a contrived product placement that, for reasons unknown, was decreed by the producers.
The three arrive at Big Wings...and soon Jarett invites Whitney to shoot pool, while Lauren and Audrina chuckle about how cute they are together. As Lauren gives the twosome a thumbs up, Jarett asks Whitney if she's interested in a one-on-one with him in Runyon Canyon for a training session that'll "really kick your ass", and Whitney says she's totally into the idea and that she can't wait to break a sweat with him asap.
The next day, Whitney and Jarett arrive at Runyon Canyon Park...and make it all the way to the top - with a great view of the Hollywood sign - where he instructs her to do some jumping jacks and punching exercises. He then puts on the cheese as he natters in his nattery way about her "mean punch", faux fear about "messing" with her, and asks whether or not she has a lot of guys after her...and then invites her out for drinks later. Whitney somehow decides 'yep, I'd like to spend even more of my time listening to whatever oozes out of this guy's mouth' and eagerly accepts his invitation.
The three arrive at Big Wings...and soon Jarett invites Whitney to shoot pool, while Lauren and Audrina chuckle about how cute they are together. As Lauren gives the twosome a thumbs up, Jarett asks Whitney if she's interested in a one-on-one with him in Runyon Canyon for a training session that'll "really kick your ass", and Whitney says she's totally into the idea and that she can't wait to break a sweat with him asap.
The next day, Whitney and Jarett arrive at Runyon Canyon Park...and make it all the way to the top - with a great view of the Hollywood sign - where he instructs her to do some jumping jacks and punching exercises. He then puts on the cheese as he natters in his nattery way about her "mean punch", faux fear about "messing" with her, and asks whether or not she has a lot of guys after her...and then invites her out for drinks later. Whitney somehow decides 'yep, I'd like to spend even more of my time listening to whatever oozes out of this guy's mouth' and eagerly accepts his invitation.
"Would you like to go out on the town with a chatty trainer?"
"I'm surprisingly very enthused about the prospect."
Heidi is thumbing through various bridal magazines as she tells Spencer she wants to be a tiara-wearing bride and is also soooo excited about the catering. LOL. Spencer grumbles about all the bridal magazines strewn about and asks her why she has to spend this much time researching a one day event, then remarks on how craaaaazy it is that he's getting married in his early twenties. No argument there.
In the Teen Vogue closet office, Whitney tells Lauren that Jarett asked her out on a real date. Lauren cackles, "He hearts you", and Whitney says she doesn't know 'bout that, but does know that first dates can be really uncomfortable.
That evening, Whitney and Jarett arrive at La Cantina for their uncomfortable date. They toast to having fun, after which Jarett babbles about what her astrological sign means, and that his ambition in life is to become a trainer to the stars. He then natters about how he just got out of a relationship and is really just interested in having fun...and adds that his fun objective is precisely why he asked her out: two single people having fun. Fantastic. Shut up now, Jarett.
Heidi arrives home to find Spencer waiting for her with their bags packed. When she's all 'whaddup with the packed bags?', he excitedly says they're going on an adventure, which entails jetting off to Vegas for a quickie wedding. A deflated looking Heidi says she hopes he's kidding, and that her idea of a wedding is something that happens in a church in front of family and friends. She wearily tells him she doesn't get how he refuses to care about how she feels about this, and is sick of having a stupid surprise sprung on her every time she comes home. Spencer grumbles about what a hassle wedding planning is, so she grumbles back that if she's too much of a hassle, he can take his ginormous purple "engagement" ring back to the cubic zirconia factory he found it in. She takes off the monstrosity, puts it on the coffee table, and ambles to the bedroom...and Spencer stares at it for a few seconds before grabbing his suitcase and exiting the apartment.
In the Teen Vogue closet office, Whitney tells Lauren that Jarett asked her out on a real date. Lauren cackles, "He hearts you", and Whitney says she doesn't know 'bout that, but does know that first dates can be really uncomfortable.
That evening, Whitney and Jarett arrive at La Cantina for their uncomfortable date. They toast to having fun, after which Jarett babbles about what her astrological sign means, and that his ambition in life is to become a trainer to the stars. He then natters about how he just got out of a relationship and is really just interested in having fun...and adds that his fun objective is precisely why he asked her out: two single people having fun. Fantastic. Shut up now, Jarett.
Heidi arrives home to find Spencer waiting for her with their bags packed. When she's all 'whaddup with the packed bags?', he excitedly says they're going on an adventure, which entails jetting off to Vegas for a quickie wedding. A deflated looking Heidi says she hopes he's kidding, and that her idea of a wedding is something that happens in a church in front of family and friends. She wearily tells him she doesn't get how he refuses to care about how she feels about this, and is sick of having a stupid surprise sprung on her every time she comes home. Spencer grumbles about what a hassle wedding planning is, so she grumbles back that if she's too much of a hassle, he can take his ginormous purple "engagement" ring back to the cubic zirconia factory he found it in. She takes off the monstrosity, puts it on the coffee table, and ambles to the bedroom...and Spencer stares at it for a few seconds before grabbing his suitcase and exiting the apartment.
"I absolutely do not want a quickie wedding."
"Should I take this to mean that The Elvis Wedding Chapel is a no go?"
At Bolthouse the next day, Heidi tells Kimberly she got into a huge fight with Spencer about his desire to elope...and that he stormed out of the apartment and hasn't been seen since. She wonders aloud how they're supposed to figure out their lives together if he continues to act like such a controlling, out-of-touch assbag, and Kimberly just kind of winces and uselessly advises them to put "everything on the table" before murmuring, "Sorry.."
While chillin' in a cafe, Whitney tells Lauren about her date with Jarett, and that she got a distinctive friend vibe from him. [Consider it a bullet dodged, Whit.] She adds that it did feel good to get out there again - despite the fact that no kissing happened...and the two chuckle over how awkward it can be when an oblivious guy leans in for an unwanted smooch.
Heidi is in her kitchen, unpacking groceries, when Spencer returns home. He tells her he slept at his parents' place last night, then gives her a bouquet of roses and apologizes for being so douchey about wedding planning. He says he's amenable to doing whatever makes her happy, promises to not spring anymore surprises on her, and urges her to resume wearing her purple ring. Heidi accepts his apologies, thanks him for the pretty flowers, and gives him a welcome home hug.
While chillin' in a cafe, Whitney tells Lauren about her date with Jarett, and that she got a distinctive friend vibe from him. [Consider it a bullet dodged, Whit.] She adds that it did feel good to get out there again - despite the fact that no kissing happened...and the two chuckle over how awkward it can be when an oblivious guy leans in for an unwanted smooch.
Heidi is in her kitchen, unpacking groceries, when Spencer returns home. He tells her he slept at his parents' place last night, then gives her a bouquet of roses and apologizes for being so douchey about wedding planning. He says he's amenable to doing whatever makes her happy, promises to not spring anymore surprises on her, and urges her to resume wearing her purple ring. Heidi accepts his apologies, thanks him for the pretty flowers, and gives him a welcome home hug.
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"Look how far I've come: from Epic's receptionist desk to Epic's cubicle farm."
"Forgive and Forget"
Original airdate: 11/12/2007
Episode summary: Audrina and Chiara hang with Sean Kingston during a Jimmy Kimmel taping. Heidi meets Lauren face-to-face to apologize for sex tape-gate.
Original airdate: 11/12/2007
Episode summary: Audrina and Chiara hang with Sean Kingston during a Jimmy Kimmel taping. Heidi meets Lauren face-to-face to apologize for sex tape-gate.
Recap: Lisa Love drops by the Teen Vogue closet office to deliver tickets for Lauren and Whitney to attend the Declare Yourself/Power of the Vote event and tells them she'd like them to "cover it" for the magazine. Once she's out of earshot, the two do a quick online search to browse the guest list and notice that Brent Bolthouse is a member of the advisory board. Whitney wonders aloud if this means that Heidi will be in attendance...and when Lauren's all, "Ugh", Whitney assures her that if they do end up coming face-to-face with Heidi, which seems more than likely, they'll handle the situation accordingly.
Over at Bolthouse, Heidi runs into Kimberly in the staff room...and when she learns that Brent gave them both tickets to Declare Yourself, she suggests they go together.
That evening, Lauren and Whitney arrive at the Declare Yourself venue and remark on how relieved they are to finally be able to relax, mingle, and check out all the cute guys in attendance. Not sure how this fulfills Lisa's edict to "cover" the event for Teen Vogue, but OK. A few seconds later, Heidi and Kimberly arrive and gush about how amaaaaazing it is to be at this event, then sashay inside the building.
Whitney asks Lauren why Audrina isn't in this scene, so Lauren points out that Lisa only gave them two tickets to the event - plus, she's currently on a date with Justin...and Whitney reacts to the mention of the Disheveled Dolt by wincing.
Audrina and Justin arrive at a drinking hole by motorcycle, and I notice that he's now being billed as her boyfriend. After the two seat themselves at the bar, Audrina tells him about how she just got a pretend promotion at Epic Records and now gets to sit in her own cubicle and interact with artists - like, for example, Sean Kingston when he performs on Jimmy Kimmel later this episode. She adds that she's a little nervous 'cause she wants to take this opportunity to really prove herself, and Justin responds by loudly belching and then chortling at his boorishness. Audrina shoots him a grossed-out side-eye - but then, for some God-only-knows-why reason, asks him if he'd like to meet up with her tomorrow night after she's done work. He says he would, then lets out another long belch and accompanying chortle. How any breathing female could be even the slightest bit enamored of this halfwitted buffoon defies all logic.
Over at Bolthouse, Heidi runs into Kimberly in the staff room...and when she learns that Brent gave them both tickets to Declare Yourself, she suggests they go together.
That evening, Lauren and Whitney arrive at the Declare Yourself venue and remark on how relieved they are to finally be able to relax, mingle, and check out all the cute guys in attendance. Not sure how this fulfills Lisa's edict to "cover" the event for Teen Vogue, but OK. A few seconds later, Heidi and Kimberly arrive and gush about how amaaaaazing it is to be at this event, then sashay inside the building.
Whitney asks Lauren why Audrina isn't in this scene, so Lauren points out that Lisa only gave them two tickets to the event - plus, she's currently on a date with Justin...and Whitney reacts to the mention of the Disheveled Dolt by wincing.
Audrina and Justin arrive at a drinking hole by motorcycle, and I notice that he's now being billed as her boyfriend. After the two seat themselves at the bar, Audrina tells him about how she just got a pretend promotion at Epic Records and now gets to sit in her own cubicle and interact with artists - like, for example, Sean Kingston when he performs on Jimmy Kimmel later this episode. She adds that she's a little nervous 'cause she wants to take this opportunity to really prove herself, and Justin responds by loudly belching and then chortling at his boorishness. Audrina shoots him a grossed-out side-eye - but then, for some God-only-knows-why reason, asks him if he'd like to meet up with her tomorrow night after she's done work. He says he would, then lets out another long belch and accompanying chortle. How any breathing female could be even the slightest bit enamored of this halfwitted buffoon defies all logic.
"I'm earnest about wanting to do a great job for my pretend employer."
[belch]
Over at Declare Yourself, Whitney notices Heidi and Kimberly wandering in their general direction. Whitney alerts Lauren, then asks if this is horrible for her - but Lauren just shrugs, 'cause whaddya gonna do when The Hills camera crew has been tasked with filming a tantalizing confrontation between two former friends? Heidi motions over at her ex-BFF and tells Kimberly she wants to try to make nice with her...but when she sashays over and casually says hey, Lauren stares at her incredulously before saying, "If you want to apologize to me, I'll talk to you." Heidi argues that she didn't actually do anything that warrants an apology, so Lauren snidely counters, "Having your boyfriend do your dirty work doesn't make you innocent." Heidi insists that she had nothing to do with falsely spreading whatever unholy things she and Jason were doing during the filming of their non-existent sex tape, and Lauren responds by snarling about what a bad person she is. Heidi gives up on the conversation, wearily says, "Have a great night", and saunters off with Kimberly while Whitney and Lauren exchange ack! glances.
"I had absolutely nothing to do with whatever kink you and Jason were into during the filming of your non-existent sex tape."
"I'm sensing that you're unwilling to grovel for my forgiveness."
The next day at Hillside Villas, Lauren tells Audrina that she ran into Heidi...then recaps the entire exchange, and expresses how completely incredulous she is that Heidi tried to pretend as though everything is normal. Audrina looks visibly shocked by this latest development, then says she's working with Sean Kingston today and should probably go get ready now.
Audrina and Chiara are at the Jimmy Kimmel studio with Sean Kingston as he does his sound check. Audrina tells Chiara that she doubts they're going to get outa here in time for her 7pm date with Justin...and when she floats the idea of inviting him to come to the taping, Chiara advises against it and points out that she's at work. Audrina's like, "Yeah, but I still wanna", and Chiara's like, "Please shut up about wanting to call Justin and have a 'come to Jesus' moment about how you could do miles better than that socially stunted cockwomble." Sorry, no...that was me, projecting.
Lauren arrives for work in the Teen Vogue closet office and discusses with Whitney the eventful night they had at the Declare Yourself event. Lauren checks her computer and suddenly exclaims, "Seriously?!", then explains to Whitney that Heidi is on her "freakin' IM". Heidi and Lauren exchange IMs about meeting up in person later at Hillside Villas, and Whitney says it's prolly a good idea to get an on-camera face-to-face confrontation over with asap.
Backstage at Jimmy Kimmel, Audrina and Chiara are hanging with Sean Kingston, who's giving them a quick tutorial on the proper lingo one needs to know when becoming famous in the music industry ('I'm poppin' and whatnot). Audrina and Chiara are then given the cue to leave...and they exit the building, happy about how the day went. Audrina says she's newly tempted to call Justin, and Chiara's all, "Noooooo!!" and shrieks aloud in frustration. LOL.
Heidi arrives home and finds Spencer reading the iChat between her and Lauren, calling it "the craziest iChat I've ever read". Heidi explains that she wants to clear the air with Lauren 'cause life's too short to carry around so much anger and hatred...and Spencer scrunches his face in befuddlement at that notion and urges caution as she heads "into the lion's den".
Audrina and Chiara are at the Jimmy Kimmel studio with Sean Kingston as he does his sound check. Audrina tells Chiara that she doubts they're going to get outa here in time for her 7pm date with Justin...and when she floats the idea of inviting him to come to the taping, Chiara advises against it and points out that she's at work. Audrina's like, "Yeah, but I still wanna", and Chiara's like, "Please shut up about wanting to call Justin and have a 'come to Jesus' moment about how you could do miles better than that socially stunted cockwomble." Sorry, no...that was me, projecting.
Lauren arrives for work in the Teen Vogue closet office and discusses with Whitney the eventful night they had at the Declare Yourself event. Lauren checks her computer and suddenly exclaims, "Seriously?!", then explains to Whitney that Heidi is on her "freakin' IM". Heidi and Lauren exchange IMs about meeting up in person later at Hillside Villas, and Whitney says it's prolly a good idea to get an on-camera face-to-face confrontation over with asap.
Backstage at Jimmy Kimmel, Audrina and Chiara are hanging with Sean Kingston, who's giving them a quick tutorial on the proper lingo one needs to know when becoming famous in the music industry ('I'm poppin' and whatnot). Audrina and Chiara are then given the cue to leave...and they exit the building, happy about how the day went. Audrina says she's newly tempted to call Justin, and Chiara's all, "Noooooo!!" and shrieks aloud in frustration. LOL.
Heidi arrives home and finds Spencer reading the iChat between her and Lauren, calling it "the craziest iChat I've ever read". Heidi explains that she wants to clear the air with Lauren 'cause life's too short to carry around so much anger and hatred...and Spencer scrunches his face in befuddlement at that notion and urges caution as she heads "into the lion's den".
"Life is too short for hatred and grudges."
"Sorry, that notion doesn't compute."
At Epic Records, Chiara brings a big bouquet of flowers to the cubical farm and tells Audrina that Sean Kingston sent them as a thank you for their hard work during his Jimmy Kimmel appearance. Audrina gushes about how well that assignment went, and about how much she looooooves having her own cubicle and working directly with artists.
Heidi arrives at Lauren's apartment with a peace offering of yellow flowers, and compliments her general tidiness. She then apologizes about the other night and all of the "he said she said" stuff that's been going on this season. She swears that she had nothing to do with starting a rumor about the non-existent sex tape...and when Lauren stonily asks her if Spencer did, she pretends to have no idea. Lauren accuses her of lying, so Heidi says she can't control Spencer, who she's well aware isn't an angel, and apologizes on his behalf - 'cause, duh, there's really no more likely suspect than Spencer for the genesis of sex tape-gate. Lauren says the fallout of that rumor was horrible enough to make her want to commit suicide, then asks Heidi why in blazes she'd want to spend her life with someone who could do such a hateful thing. Heidi declares, "I loooove Spencer" and an incensed Lauren says she really must, in order to stick by him through all this...then says she truly appreciates her apology - but figures that, at this point, the only thing she can do is forgive and forget, pronouncing, "I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you." Heidi looks crestfallen for a few seconds, then gets up and ambles towards the door as she wishes Lauren a great life.
Heidi arrives at Lauren's apartment with a peace offering of yellow flowers, and compliments her general tidiness. She then apologizes about the other night and all of the "he said she said" stuff that's been going on this season. She swears that she had nothing to do with starting a rumor about the non-existent sex tape...and when Lauren stonily asks her if Spencer did, she pretends to have no idea. Lauren accuses her of lying, so Heidi says she can't control Spencer, who she's well aware isn't an angel, and apologizes on his behalf - 'cause, duh, there's really no more likely suspect than Spencer for the genesis of sex tape-gate. Lauren says the fallout of that rumor was horrible enough to make her want to commit suicide, then asks Heidi why in blazes she'd want to spend her life with someone who could do such a hateful thing. Heidi declares, "I loooove Spencer" and an incensed Lauren says she really must, in order to stick by him through all this...then says she truly appreciates her apology - but figures that, at this point, the only thing she can do is forgive and forget, pronouncing, "I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you." Heidi looks crestfallen for a few seconds, then gets up and ambles towards the door as she wishes Lauren a great life.
"Spencer is the likeliest culprit responsible for sex tape-gate. Also, I loooove him."
"You're dead to me."
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The glums celebrate Heidi's sad birthday
"Young Hollywood"
Original airdate: 11/5/2007
Episode summary: Whitney and Lauren help host Teen Vogue's annual Young Hollywood party. Audrina goes on a date with Justin to the Viper Room. Heidi celebrates her twenty-fifth birthday with a low-key dinner.
Original airdate: 11/5/2007
Episode summary: Whitney and Lauren help host Teen Vogue's annual Young Hollywood party. Audrina goes on a date with Justin to the Viper Room. Heidi celebrates her twenty-fifth birthday with a low-key dinner.
Recap: Vibiana Church is all decked out and ready to serve as the venue for Teen Vogue's Young Hollywood party. Lisa Love tells Whitney and Lauren that everything looks amaaaaaazing...then tells Whitney she'll be stationed at the front of the church as the primary greeter/seater, while Lauren will be backstage, getting the models ready to walk the runway. She then solemnly warns no screwups. Or else.
Over at Bolthouse, Kimberly carries a huge bouquet of roses into Heidi's office and explains that they were just delivered to reception. Heidi reads the card and says they're from Spencer on account of it's her twenty-fifth birthday, and Kimberly's all, "Kewl!" and suggests they gabble more about her special day over a girls' lunch out at 1pm.
At Epic Records, Audrina tells Chiara that tonight she has a date with Justin to go to the Viper Room and watch The Ruse perform. She adds that if they're an impressive enough band, she'll get a copy of their CD and bring it back to Epic so that the execs can decide whether or not they want to sign the up-and-coming band.
Over lunch, Heidi tells Kimberly that her biggest "growing year" was between the ages of twenty and twenty-one, and that after a string of lively birthday parties with big guest lists, she's pretending to be totes down with this year's much more muted celebration: a dinner out with Spencer. Kimberly scrunches her face in a 'seriously?' expression as Heidi insists that a fun party in her honor is no longer "the be all and end all" of life.
Over at Bolthouse, Kimberly carries a huge bouquet of roses into Heidi's office and explains that they were just delivered to reception. Heidi reads the card and says they're from Spencer on account of it's her twenty-fifth birthday, and Kimberly's all, "Kewl!" and suggests they gabble more about her special day over a girls' lunch out at 1pm.
At Epic Records, Audrina tells Chiara that tonight she has a date with Justin to go to the Viper Room and watch The Ruse perform. She adds that if they're an impressive enough band, she'll get a copy of their CD and bring it back to Epic so that the execs can decide whether or not they want to sign the up-and-coming band.
Over lunch, Heidi tells Kimberly that her biggest "growing year" was between the ages of twenty and twenty-one, and that after a string of lively birthday parties with big guest lists, she's pretending to be totes down with this year's much more muted celebration: a dinner out with Spencer. Kimberly scrunches her face in a 'seriously?' expression as Heidi insists that a fun party in her honor is no longer "the be all and end all" of life.
"The most important part of my birthday is that Spencer and I be joined at the hip for the entire evening."
"That would prolly rank near the bottom of my birthday wish list."
While assembling the goodie bags for the Young Hollywood partygoers, Whitney nervously wrings her hands about the large guest list, wonders how many VIPs will be in attendance, and hopes that she'll be able to get everyone seated on time. Later, the Director of Public Relations tutors Whitney on the art of seating a large number of people quickly, and then Lauren and Whitney coordinate their communication system, aka wired earpieces.
Young Hollywood party! As the young celebrities arrive and clump together at the entrance of Vibiana Church, Whitney is instructed to push back the start time of the fashion show by half an hour.
Audrina and Justin arrive at the Viper Room and watch The Ruse perform...and they're actually not half bad. Audrina looks visibly impressed and tells Justin she wants to ask them for a CD so she can bring it back to Epic, and Justin just kind of shrugs and is all, "Yeah, whatever, I really don't fucking care." In the next scene, she approaches the four bandmates, introduces herself as a pretend Epic Records employee and asks if they've signed with a record company. The lead singer looks intrigued by her interest in their music and invites her and Justin (who's darting around and acting like his usual fucktarded self) to an after-party at a bar just down the street.
Spencer is treating Heidi to a fancy dinner when he gives her her gift: a gorgeous, ridiculously expensive new handbag! Heidi squeals happily and gives him a thank you kiss...and the two continue to pretend that they're having the most fabulous time.
Back at the Young Hollywood party, the Teen Vogue staff opens the church's doors to the masses, and Whitney gets to work seating all of the guests so that the fashion show can begin. After a last minute delay to accommodate the arrival of Hilary Duff, Lauren gets the green light to begin sending the models out for the Marc by Marc Fashion Show, aka a parade of all the weird, otherwise non-wearable outfits that usually get featured on these types of runways.
Young Hollywood party! As the young celebrities arrive and clump together at the entrance of Vibiana Church, Whitney is instructed to push back the start time of the fashion show by half an hour.
Audrina and Justin arrive at the Viper Room and watch The Ruse perform...and they're actually not half bad. Audrina looks visibly impressed and tells Justin she wants to ask them for a CD so she can bring it back to Epic, and Justin just kind of shrugs and is all, "Yeah, whatever, I really don't fucking care." In the next scene, she approaches the four bandmates, introduces herself as a pretend Epic Records employee and asks if they've signed with a record company. The lead singer looks intrigued by her interest in their music and invites her and Justin (who's darting around and acting like his usual fucktarded self) to an after-party at a bar just down the street.
Spencer is treating Heidi to a fancy dinner when he gives her her gift: a gorgeous, ridiculously expensive new handbag! Heidi squeals happily and gives him a thank you kiss...and the two continue to pretend that they're having the most fabulous time.
Back at the Young Hollywood party, the Teen Vogue staff opens the church's doors to the masses, and Whitney gets to work seating all of the guests so that the fashion show can begin. After a last minute delay to accommodate the arrival of Hilary Duff, Lauren gets the green light to begin sending the models out for the Marc by Marc Fashion Show, aka a parade of all the weird, otherwise non-wearable outfits that usually get featured on these types of runways.
?
"I suddenly have a burning desire to read Cat in the Hat."
At the after-party, Audrina causes an amorous stir among The Ruse when she orders a drink called The Naughty Schoolgirl. After Justin wanders off, the skinny, bearded band member chit-chats with Audrina and tells her that there's an after-after party they plan on going to...and a few seconds later he's telling the lead singer he's totes into her, but has no idea if she's with the disheveled guy in the fully hooked up sense. He then seats himself next to Justin and comes right out and asks him whassup with him and Audrina, specifically, "Are you guys hot and heavy?", and Justin responds by mumbling incoherently about how he and Audrina are cool, calls her "a good girl" ... and when a befuddled Skinny Beard presses Justin about whether or not she's available to be asked out, he nonsensically mumbles, "She's pretty good" ... leaving Skinny Beard to seriously wonder if English is Justin's first language.
"We're cool, she's a good girl, and also pretty good."
"Um, OK. I'll take that as a - huh?"
Lisa Love and Amy Astley gush at Whitney and Lauren about how great the Young Hollywood party is going, and that they get the strong sense that everyone is having a super amazing time.
After departing The Ruse's after-party, Justin teases Audrina about how Skinny Beard was clearly hot for her, and Audrina hastily points out, "Yeah, but I'm going home with you."
Heidi and Spencer look increasingly bored at their dinner party for two...and as Heidi mutely sips from her wine glass, Spencer starts fiddling with his phone.
Lauren and Whitney head home from the Young Hollywood party, expressing enormous relief that everything went off without a hitch.
After departing The Ruse's after-party, Justin teases Audrina about how Skinny Beard was clearly hot for her, and Audrina hastily points out, "Yeah, but I'm going home with you."
Heidi and Spencer look increasingly bored at their dinner party for two...and as Heidi mutely sips from her wine glass, Spencer starts fiddling with his phone.
Lauren and Whitney head home from the Young Hollywood party, expressing enormous relief that everything went off without a hitch.
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Lauren is delighted to be assigned the gruntiest grunt work at a Marc Jacobs casting call
"Stress and the City"
Original airdate: 10/29/2007
Episode summary: Lauren and Whitney travel to New York to finalize plans for the upcoming Young Hollywood party. Spencer reaches out to Brody.
Original airdate: 10/29/2007
Episode summary: Lauren and Whitney travel to New York to finalize plans for the upcoming Young Hollywood party. Spencer reaches out to Brody.
Recap: Whitney gives Lisa Love a tour of Vibiana Church, aka a proposed venue for the upcoming Young Hollywood party. Lisa gushes about how much she looooooves the space, agrees that Amy Astley is going to want to know all the deets, and thanks Whitney for doing such a great job scouting a suitable location.
The next day at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love summons Lauren and Whitney to her office to inform them that she's sending them both to New York to meet with Amy Astley et. al. in order to present a run-through of the The Young Hollywood party plans. She solemnly adds, "It's serious business in New York", warns them to not to fuck around or else, but then assures Whitney she has her full confidence that she's going to do a bang-up job.
Back in the closet office, Whitney and Lauren excitedly cackle about getting to jet to New York together, then discuss the various outfits they're going to need to pack [even though one will suffice, given that they'll be in New York for less than 24 hours]. Lauren proudly says she has a dress on reserve for her grand introduction to Amy Astley and therefore won't need to shop around for one.
Spencer arrives at Bolthouse - just as Frankie is exiting the building. After exchanging lukewarm greetings, Frankie explains that he works with Brent Bolthouse at Area now and then, and dropped in just now to pick up his pay check. He then chides Spencer for not returning Brody's happy birthday voicemail, so Spencer says he can't get past the disloyalty Brody has demonstrated by hanging out with Lauren, aka his archenemy who's been known to talk shit about him and Heidi. Frankie points out that Brody should be able to hang with whoever he wants and urges Spencer to reach out to his old friend, but Spencer just shrugs and says he's more interested in moving forward [while simultaneously holding onto past grudges].
The next day at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love summons Lauren and Whitney to her office to inform them that she's sending them both to New York to meet with Amy Astley et. al. in order to present a run-through of the The Young Hollywood party plans. She solemnly adds, "It's serious business in New York", warns them to not to fuck around or else, but then assures Whitney she has her full confidence that she's going to do a bang-up job.
Back in the closet office, Whitney and Lauren excitedly cackle about getting to jet to New York together, then discuss the various outfits they're going to need to pack [even though one will suffice, given that they'll be in New York for less than 24 hours]. Lauren proudly says she has a dress on reserve for her grand introduction to Amy Astley and therefore won't need to shop around for one.
Spencer arrives at Bolthouse - just as Frankie is exiting the building. After exchanging lukewarm greetings, Frankie explains that he works with Brent Bolthouse at Area now and then, and dropped in just now to pick up his pay check. He then chides Spencer for not returning Brody's happy birthday voicemail, so Spencer says he can't get past the disloyalty Brody has demonstrated by hanging out with Lauren, aka his archenemy who's been known to talk shit about him and Heidi. Frankie points out that Brody should be able to hang with whoever he wants and urges Spencer to reach out to his old friend, but Spencer just shrugs and says he's more interested in moving forward [while simultaneously holding onto past grudges].
"As a grown man, you should accept that Brody should be able to be friends with Lauren if that's what he wants."
"As a petty man-child, I couldn't disagree more."
Heidi emerges from her office to go to lunch with Spencer, and he grumbles about the interaction he just had with Frankie...as well as how shitty it is that Brody insists on remaining friends with people who badmouth him. Heidi listens intently, but just murmurs, "Well.." before the camera pans over to LAX to capture the departure of Lauren and Whitney.
In the next scene, Lauren and Whitney land in New York and hop into a cab bound for Teen Vogue headquarters. Whitney is, for some reason, decked out in a strapless party dress [in lieu of anything resembling New York-appropriate business attire] and is carrying the various drawings and floor plans for her presentation.
Amy Astley ushers Lauren and Whitney into her office and gushes about how much she's looking forward to the presentation. She then informs Lauren that - surprise! - she's being sent to Marc Jacobs' design studio for an unspecified purpose, and that she has twenty minutes to hail a cab and get herself downtown.
When Lauren arrives at Marc Jacobs' design studio, she's informed by someone named Kate Waters that - surprise! - she's here to help out with styling the models who are auditioning for the fashion show casting. Kate acknowledges that Lauren probably had no advance warning that she was going to do this type of grunt work [um, no shit] and asks her if she'd like to exchange her heels in favor of something more comfortable, but Lauren politely declines. Kate then introduces her to the casting director, who brusquely tells Lauren she needs her to put the finishing touches on all of the models so that they're 100% styled before their auditions...and Lauren manages to be a good sport about the brusqueness and cheerfully agrees to be as helpful as possible.
In the next scene, Lauren and Whitney land in New York and hop into a cab bound for Teen Vogue headquarters. Whitney is, for some reason, decked out in a strapless party dress [in lieu of anything resembling New York-appropriate business attire] and is carrying the various drawings and floor plans for her presentation.
Amy Astley ushers Lauren and Whitney into her office and gushes about how much she's looking forward to the presentation. She then informs Lauren that - surprise! - she's being sent to Marc Jacobs' design studio for an unspecified purpose, and that she has twenty minutes to hail a cab and get herself downtown.
When Lauren arrives at Marc Jacobs' design studio, she's informed by someone named Kate Waters that - surprise! - she's here to help out with styling the models who are auditioning for the fashion show casting. Kate acknowledges that Lauren probably had no advance warning that she was going to do this type of grunt work [um, no shit] and asks her if she'd like to exchange her heels in favor of something more comfortable, but Lauren politely declines. Kate then introduces her to the casting director, who brusquely tells Lauren she needs her to put the finishing touches on all of the models so that they're 100% styled before their auditions...and Lauren manages to be a good sport about the brusqueness and cheerfully agrees to be as helpful as possible.
"The models better be perfectly styled or it's your ass."
"I'm here to cheerfully serve."
Whitney presents the plans for the Young Hollywood party to Amy Astley et. al, and Amy nixes the idea of a red carpet, presses her about exactly where the florals are going to be placed, and agrees that wicker is a horrible furniture choice. She then tells Whitney to take all of this feedback back to L.A. and fine-tune everything prior to the grand event.
At Marc Jacobs' design studio, Lauren continues to help style the models to the point of exhaustion. After that, she's sitting at a table, alphabetizing something or other, when Kate Waters introduces her to Marc Jacobs...and the way the footage is edited, it looks as though he spends about ten seconds saying hey before hastily retreating back to his office.
At their hotel, Lauren and Whitney pack up their stuff in the ginormous suitcases they each brought (!) and agree that they're very happy to be jetting back to L.A.
Spencer calls Brody and leaves the message, "Hit me up" and adds that they really really need to talk.
The next day, Lauren and Whitney arrive at Patina for a food tasting for the Young Hollywood party. When Lisa Love and her posse arrive a few seconds later, everyone is seated at a table. Lisa informs everyone that earlier she spoke to Amy Astley, who thought the planning meeting went very well. She then directs her attention to Whitney and tells her she heard about the strapless party dress she wore to the meeting...and when Whitney's all, "Wuh? Was it bad?", Lisa breaks into a grin and says she's now going to expect her to regularly dress for the office as if she's going to a high school prom...and everyone chuckles heartily before toasting the upcoming Young Hollywood party.
At Marc Jacobs' design studio, Lauren continues to help style the models to the point of exhaustion. After that, she's sitting at a table, alphabetizing something or other, when Kate Waters introduces her to Marc Jacobs...and the way the footage is edited, it looks as though he spends about ten seconds saying hey before hastily retreating back to his office.
At their hotel, Lauren and Whitney pack up their stuff in the ginormous suitcases they each brought (!) and agree that they're very happy to be jetting back to L.A.
Spencer calls Brody and leaves the message, "Hit me up" and adds that they really really need to talk.
The next day, Lauren and Whitney arrive at Patina for a food tasting for the Young Hollywood party. When Lisa Love and her posse arrive a few seconds later, everyone is seated at a table. Lisa informs everyone that earlier she spoke to Amy Astley, who thought the planning meeting went very well. She then directs her attention to Whitney and tells her she heard about the strapless party dress she wore to the meeting...and when Whitney's all, "Wuh? Was it bad?", Lisa breaks into a grin and says she's now going to expect her to regularly dress for the office as if she's going to a high school prom...and everyone chuckles heartily before toasting the upcoming Young Hollywood party.
"From now on, we'll expect you to dress yourself in cute party-wear around the office."
"I thought that's what I was already doingk."
Brody drops by Hillside Villas to visit Lauren and inform her that Spencer left him a voicemail message. As Lauren looks alarmed at that troubling development, Brody says he hasn't returned the call and doesn't plan to 'cause he doesn't think the two of them can ever truly be BFFs again. Lauren laments being responsible for breaking up a long-standing friendship, but Brody insists it's his decision to blow off the malevolent Chucky doll lookalike...then suggests that they remove the superfluous pillows atop her couch and canoodle whilst promising that they're always going to be there for one another.
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"You're an improvement over Derek - but not by much."
"No More Mr. Nice Guy"
Original airdate: 10/22/2007
Episode summary: Lauren goes on a date with a model named Gavin, but quickly realizes they have zero chemistry. Spencer gets irked when Heidi is too busy with her pretend Bolthouse job to celebrate their belated anniversary.
Original airdate: 10/22/2007
Episode summary: Lauren goes on a date with a model named Gavin, but quickly realizes they have zero chemistry. Spencer gets irked when Heidi is too busy with her pretend Bolthouse job to celebrate their belated anniversary.
Recap: Lauren tells Brody she's super excited about his upcoming Malibu barbecue party...and that it's been a long while since she's been out on a date. Brody advises her to find a guy who's not "Mr. Perfect" 'cause he knows how turned on she gets by the ruggedness of a stereotypical bad boy, and she's like, "Yep, can't disagree with you there."
After a staff meeting at Bolthouse, Heidi introduces herself to "the new Elodie", aka a wide-eyed brunette named Kimberly Brandon. Heidi tells Kimberly that if she needs anything in advance of the big NASCAR event she's been assigned to...she should probably seek help from someone who doesn't pretend work for this company.
Lauren and Whitney are working at a Teen Vogue casting for the special "Young Hollywood" issue when a male model named Gavin approaches Lauren to say hey and remind her that they met at a previous Teen Vogue shoot. Lauren quickly recalls that she had tried to set him up with Heidi when she was just starting to date Spencer in an effort to get her to hook up with literally anyone other than the malevolent Chucky doll lookalike - but, sadly, it never materialized into anything. After Gavin finishes auditioning, he boasts that he's pretty sure he's got the job booked and is so buoyed with confidence that he asks Lauren if she'd like to hang out this weekend. She mumbles, "Uh, sure" and gives him her number...and Whitney, who has overheard the interaction, grins in amusement.
After a staff meeting at Bolthouse, Heidi introduces herself to "the new Elodie", aka a wide-eyed brunette named Kimberly Brandon. Heidi tells Kimberly that if she needs anything in advance of the big NASCAR event she's been assigned to...she should probably seek help from someone who doesn't pretend work for this company.
Lauren and Whitney are working at a Teen Vogue casting for the special "Young Hollywood" issue when a male model named Gavin approaches Lauren to say hey and remind her that they met at a previous Teen Vogue shoot. Lauren quickly recalls that she had tried to set him up with Heidi when she was just starting to date Spencer in an effort to get her to hook up with literally anyone other than the malevolent Chucky doll lookalike - but, sadly, it never materialized into anything. After Gavin finishes auditioning, he boasts that he's pretty sure he's got the job booked and is so buoyed with confidence that he asks Lauren if she'd like to hang out this weekend. She mumbles, "Uh, sure" and gives him her number...and Whitney, who has overheard the interaction, grins in amusement.
"Let's hang out this weekend."
"I unenthusiastically accept your invitation."
Spencer tells Heidi he made anniversary make up dinner plans for the two of them tonight - but Heidi's all, "Oooh nooooo! I can't go 'cause tonight I have to pretend to work the NASCAR event for Bolthouse." While Spencer pouts, she invites him to come to the event so they can get a late night bite afterwards, but he makes it clear that he's not at all interested in that idea. Heidi points out that spending the evening apart from him isn't her choice and suggests he maybe consider peeling himself off the couch and get a job, to which he pissily mutters, "Oh, it's like that."
Over at Hillside Villas, Lauren is telling Audrina and Lo about Gavin and that he was able to clear his schedule in order to make an appearance at Brody's Malibu barbecue party. Lo joyously cackles, "I love passing judgement on people" (say huh?), while Audrina wonders aloud how Brody is going to react when "his girl" brings a date to his barbecue party.
Barbecue party! The Hills gals (including the elusive Whitney) arrive at Brody's beach house and hug the fellas hello...and soon after that, Gavin and his pal arrive. They're introduced to everyone - including Brody, who tells Lauren that while the guy's undeniably a dud, he's a definite upgrade from Derek (of the Second Chances episode).
As a game of volleyball gets underway, Gavin and Brody join forces to work the grill and get some burgers cooked. Brody asks Gavin how he knows Lauren, so he explains that they met/reunited at a recent Teen Vogue casting, and have a date lined up for Friday night. Brody tells him that, for whatever reason, he's appointed himself a paternal figure for Lauren and needs to make sure that any guy she goes out with passes muster, so Gavin assures him that he's a fine enough suitor to be spending time with MTV's sweetheart.
Over at Hillside Villas, Lauren is telling Audrina and Lo about Gavin and that he was able to clear his schedule in order to make an appearance at Brody's Malibu barbecue party. Lo joyously cackles, "I love passing judgement on people" (say huh?), while Audrina wonders aloud how Brody is going to react when "his girl" brings a date to his barbecue party.
Barbecue party! The Hills gals (including the elusive Whitney) arrive at Brody's beach house and hug the fellas hello...and soon after that, Gavin and his pal arrive. They're introduced to everyone - including Brody, who tells Lauren that while the guy's undeniably a dud, he's a definite upgrade from Derek (of the Second Chances episode).
As a game of volleyball gets underway, Gavin and Brody join forces to work the grill and get some burgers cooked. Brody asks Gavin how he knows Lauren, so he explains that they met/reunited at a recent Teen Vogue casting, and have a date lined up for Friday night. Brody tells him that, for whatever reason, he's appointed himself a paternal figure for Lauren and needs to make sure that any guy she goes out with passes muster, so Gavin assures him that he's a fine enough suitor to be spending time with MTV's sweetheart.
"What are your intentions towards Lauren?"
"To be less forgettable than Derek."
Frankie tells Lauren that Brody seems a tad jealous about Gavin, but Lauren reminds him for the umpteenth time that she and Brody are strictly platonic friends.
Gavin, meanwhile, gives Brody a quick run-down of his personal life, including that he broke up with his most recent girlfriend over a year ago...but that it was an amicable split.
Heidi and Kimberly are working the main gate of the NASCAR event when Spencer calls. Heidi tells him that, regrettably, she has to stay late tonight and can't make it to a late supper, and he irritably replies that they can't keep putting off their anniversary dinner - 'cause if too much time passes, the anniversary make up dinner is just going to end up being a regular meal. Heidi implores him to not be mad at her, and he's like, "Whatevs" and hangs up on her.
Brody grumbles to Lo that Gavin seems "too perfect" ... and when she doesn't seem to give too much of a rat's ass 'bout that, he takes the complaint to two male Hills extras, who appear to give even less of a rat's ass about his personal assessment of Lauren's boring plus one.
Lauren seats herself beside Gavin and thanks him for being such a good sport in putting up with Brody and his inquisition. He graciously tells her that her friends seem very nice, and adds that he's really looking forward to their Friday night date.
Spencer drops by Bolthouse to take Heidi out for a surprise lunch - but she tells him she has to decline 'cause she's in the middle of a super important pretend meeting, and won't be home until 7:00pm. When he does his best to look haplessly miffed as this 'Spencer Gets Repeatedly Rebuffed by Career-minded Heidi' plot line plays out, Heidi earnestly reminds him that he encouraged her to pursue this promotion and now has to live with the consequences of his supportiveness...then rushes back to her "meeting" while Spencer sarcastically mutters about the importance of her fancy work schedule.
Gavin, meanwhile, gives Brody a quick run-down of his personal life, including that he broke up with his most recent girlfriend over a year ago...but that it was an amicable split.
Heidi and Kimberly are working the main gate of the NASCAR event when Spencer calls. Heidi tells him that, regrettably, she has to stay late tonight and can't make it to a late supper, and he irritably replies that they can't keep putting off their anniversary dinner - 'cause if too much time passes, the anniversary make up dinner is just going to end up being a regular meal. Heidi implores him to not be mad at her, and he's like, "Whatevs" and hangs up on her.
Brody grumbles to Lo that Gavin seems "too perfect" ... and when she doesn't seem to give too much of a rat's ass 'bout that, he takes the complaint to two male Hills extras, who appear to give even less of a rat's ass about his personal assessment of Lauren's boring plus one.
Lauren seats herself beside Gavin and thanks him for being such a good sport in putting up with Brody and his inquisition. He graciously tells her that her friends seem very nice, and adds that he's really looking forward to their Friday night date.
Spencer drops by Bolthouse to take Heidi out for a surprise lunch - but she tells him she has to decline 'cause she's in the middle of a super important pretend meeting, and won't be home until 7:00pm. When he does his best to look haplessly miffed as this 'Spencer Gets Repeatedly Rebuffed by Career-minded Heidi' plot line plays out, Heidi earnestly reminds him that he encouraged her to pursue this promotion and now has to live with the consequences of his supportiveness...then rushes back to her "meeting" while Spencer sarcastically mutters about the importance of her fancy work schedule.
"I'm in the middle of a very important meeting, which can't even be interrupted for a lunch break."
"Sounds intense."
Lauren is primping for her dinner date with Gavin and tells Audrina that the dud is taking her out for sushi. Audrina remarks that Gavin really doesn't seem like her type, and Lauren ruefully says that Brody also said as much.
At the restaurant, Lauren and Gavin order their food and talk about the awkwardness that was Brody's barbecue party. Gavin fibs about how much fun he had and thought that Brody seemed nice...then gives Lauren a piece of his sushi roll to taste and asks her about the kind of guys she's dated in the past. Lauren says that mostly they start out cute, but end up crazy...then makes it clear that she doesn't think he's crazy. Just dull as dishwater.
Lauren returns home and calls Brody to report that she's home very very early from her date. She says she had an OK time eating sushi with Gavin - but felt zero spark. Brody's all, "I told you so" and asks her what she's doing right now, so she tells him she's just going to hang out at home and watch a movie...and he offers to come over and cuddle with her on the couch as they watch the movie together.
At the restaurant, Lauren and Gavin order their food and talk about the awkwardness that was Brody's barbecue party. Gavin fibs about how much fun he had and thought that Brody seemed nice...then gives Lauren a piece of his sushi roll to taste and asks her about the kind of guys she's dated in the past. Lauren says that mostly they start out cute, but end up crazy...then makes it clear that she doesn't think he's crazy. Just dull as dishwater.
Lauren returns home and calls Brody to report that she's home very very early from her date. She says she had an OK time eating sushi with Gavin - but felt zero spark. Brody's all, "I told you so" and asks her what she's doing right now, so she tells him she's just going to hang out at home and watch a movie...and he offers to come over and cuddle with her on the couch as they watch the movie together.
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"Do I look like a sleazy sex tape rumor starter?"
"What Goes Around..."
Original airdate: 10/15/2007
Episode summary: Brody tells Lauren that Heidi and Spencer were the ones responsible for the sex tape rumor. Heidi is admonished by Brent for her lacklustre work performance at Bolthouse.
Original airdate: 10/15/2007
Episode summary: Brody tells Lauren that Heidi and Spencer were the ones responsible for the sex tape rumor. Heidi is admonished by Brent for her lacklustre work performance at Bolthouse.
Recap: In the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren gives Whitney a brief recap of what happened during the previous episode in Vegas: she kissed Brody and argued with Audrina. A few seconds later, she gets a text from Jen Bunney, who tells her she has something she desperately needs to share with her.
After the opening credits, Lauren arrives home and tells Audrina about the text from Jen...then says it prompted her to be self-reflective about her general judgeyness over her friends' abysmal taste in men. She admits to still being broken from all of the Heidi/Spencer toxicity that unfolded throughout Season 2, and that she truly thought she was doing the right thing by repeatedly urging Heidi to date literally anyone but the malevolent Chucky doll lookalike - but it ended up having the opposite effect and drove Heidi out of Hillside Villas and into the dipshit's arms. Lauren says she doesn't want to go down that route a second time, and is determined to shut up about what an insufferable cockwomble Justin is and do her best to pretend to be happy for her as she deludes herself into thinking that he's actually capable of a normal relationship. She sheepishly says sorry, and Audrina smilingly accepts her apology.
After the opening credits, Lauren arrives home and tells Audrina about the text from Jen...then says it prompted her to be self-reflective about her general judgeyness over her friends' abysmal taste in men. She admits to still being broken from all of the Heidi/Spencer toxicity that unfolded throughout Season 2, and that she truly thought she was doing the right thing by repeatedly urging Heidi to date literally anyone but the malevolent Chucky doll lookalike - but it ended up having the opposite effect and drove Heidi out of Hillside Villas and into the dipshit's arms. Lauren says she doesn't want to go down that route a second time, and is determined to shut up about what an insufferable cockwomble Justin is and do her best to pretend to be happy for her as she deludes herself into thinking that he's actually capable of a normal relationship. She sheepishly says sorry, and Audrina smilingly accepts her apology.
"Sorry about wishing you had far better taste in men."
"Apology accepted."
While out shopping, Lauren tells Lo she apologized to Audrina for her part in the Justin-related drama in Vegas, but Lo just sneers and snarks, "Justin's a loser, whatever." LOL. Lauren changes the subject and informs Lo that she's agreed to meet up with Jen Bunney for lunch, and Lo urges caution 'cause she doesn't want her to suffer any more social misery at the hands of "that mean girl".
At Bolthouse, Brent summons Heidi into his office to ask whassup with the contrived emergency associated with Friday's event, so Heidi explains that when Elodie didn't show up as promised, she dropped everything to rush over and resolve the faux crisis. Brent brusquely informs her, "Elodie doesn't work here anymore, but you do", and that next time she wants to rope someone into covering for her so that she can canoodle with Spencer over candlelight, she needs to communicate this to him and/or his co-manager, Jennifer. He reminds her that she pretended to fight for this job and therefore needs to be 100% on her game, and a chastened Heidi assures him that this kind of staged incompetence won't happen again. Unless, of course, The Hills producers don't think they've fished that lake dry yet.
At Bolthouse, Brent summons Heidi into his office to ask whassup with the contrived emergency associated with Friday's event, so Heidi explains that when Elodie didn't show up as promised, she dropped everything to rush over and resolve the faux crisis. Brent brusquely informs her, "Elodie doesn't work here anymore, but you do", and that next time she wants to rope someone into covering for her so that she can canoodle with Spencer over candlelight, she needs to communicate this to him and/or his co-manager, Jennifer. He reminds her that she pretended to fight for this job and therefore needs to be 100% on her game, and a chastened Heidi assures him that this kind of staged incompetence won't happen again. Unless, of course, The Hills producers don't think they've fished that lake dry yet.
"Elodie isn't employed here, but you are."
"Is it possible you have that backwards?"
Lauren meets Jen Bunney for lunch...and the two warmly greet each other and quickly get caught up on each other's lives. Lauren asks her why she summoned her to this tête-à-tête, so Jen reports that Heidi is going around claiming that Brody was the main instigator of the rumor surrounding the Lauren/Jason sex tape [that clearly never existed or it would have circulated on the Internet by now] ... then just kind of shrugs and says, "I don't know. I don't want to get involved." Lauren scrunches her face into an expression of skepticism and says that that makes zero sense 'cause she's always been fairly good friends with Brody and doesn't believe he would do such a heinous thing...but that it makes a lot of sense for Heidi to blame the rumor-spreading on someone who's not her or Spencer.
"What's the latest rumoring on my non-existent sex tape?"
"Well...rumor has it that Heidi is now rumouring that Brody was the one who started the sex tape rumor."
Lauren returns to Hillside Villas and tells Audrina that her lunch with Jen went fine, and that Jen told her all about Heidi's accusation against Brody. Audrina frowns and points out that Brody has never been one to stir up trouble, and Lauren concurs and says she's having dinner with him tonight and will, for once and for all, clear up the lingering confusion surrounding The Sex Tape That Never Was.
As Heidi primps in her bathroom, Spencer expresses annoyance that Brent admonished her when it was Elodie who "sniped" her out. Heidi agrees that the kerfuffle wasn't her fault, and Spencer's like, "Lesson learned" and says that this contrived incident proves that the various peripheral characters on The Hills really can't be trusted.
Over at Venice Bistro, Audrina and Justin are shooting pool and gushing about how much more peaceful it is whenever they hang out sans the rest of The Hills gang. Justin grumbles about how static-y things get when the others are around, and Audrina tells him that Lauren apologized for acting so judgey and disapproving about the two of them coupling and promised to give her her space. Justin mumbles, "Things should be happy, and blissful and mellow" 'cause life's too short for reality show type drama - even though nobody put a gun to his head and forced him to be a reality show cast member - and Audrina hopes that Lauren will get distracted by something sparking up between her and Brody. Justin shrugs disinterestedly, 'cause it's clear he couldn't give even the tiniest of rat's asses 'bout Lauren's or Brody's love life, then gushes at Audrina when she wins at pool.
That evening, Lauren and Brody have dinner together, toast their platonic friendship, and agree that they thoroughly enjoyed all the cuddling they indulged in in Vegas. Lauren then gets down to the business of informing him that Heidi is now claiming he was the one who started the sex tape rumor, and Brody replies by shaking his head incredulously and saying, "She's lost her mind." Lauren implores him to be honest with her about who started the rumor about The Sex Tape That Never Was and come clean with what he knows...so after some hemming and hawing about how reluctant he is to get involved in any of this, he admits, "I know 100% fact that they did it." Lauren looks satisfied at finally learning the full truth and thanks him for his honesty.
As Heidi primps in her bathroom, Spencer expresses annoyance that Brent admonished her when it was Elodie who "sniped" her out. Heidi agrees that the kerfuffle wasn't her fault, and Spencer's like, "Lesson learned" and says that this contrived incident proves that the various peripheral characters on The Hills really can't be trusted.
Over at Venice Bistro, Audrina and Justin are shooting pool and gushing about how much more peaceful it is whenever they hang out sans the rest of The Hills gang. Justin grumbles about how static-y things get when the others are around, and Audrina tells him that Lauren apologized for acting so judgey and disapproving about the two of them coupling and promised to give her her space. Justin mumbles, "Things should be happy, and blissful and mellow" 'cause life's too short for reality show type drama - even though nobody put a gun to his head and forced him to be a reality show cast member - and Audrina hopes that Lauren will get distracted by something sparking up between her and Brody. Justin shrugs disinterestedly, 'cause it's clear he couldn't give even the tiniest of rat's asses 'bout Lauren's or Brody's love life, then gushes at Audrina when she wins at pool.
That evening, Lauren and Brody have dinner together, toast their platonic friendship, and agree that they thoroughly enjoyed all the cuddling they indulged in in Vegas. Lauren then gets down to the business of informing him that Heidi is now claiming he was the one who started the sex tape rumor, and Brody replies by shaking his head incredulously and saying, "She's lost her mind." Lauren implores him to be honest with her about who started the rumor about The Sex Tape That Never Was and come clean with what he knows...so after some hemming and hawing about how reluctant he is to get involved in any of this, he admits, "I know 100% fact that they did it." Lauren looks satisfied at finally learning the full truth and thanks him for his honesty.
"Blink once if Spencer was the architect of the sex tape rumor."
The next day in the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren tells Whitney the latest about sex tape-gate, and that she never believed Brody was the rumor spreader, given that he has a strong track record of never bad-mouthing people with whom he's become estranged. When Whitney asks her if she thinks Heidi was involved, Lauren says she thinks the likeliest scenario is that Heidi at least knew about it and didn't object. She then says the next thing on her to do list is to text Jen Bunney and ask her to stop spreading the rumor that Brody spread a rumor about a non-existent sex tape that neither she nor Jason ever filmed.
Jen Bunney meets up with Heidi at Cheebo to update her on her lunch with Lauren, adding that it's helped smooth things over between them. An envious looking Heidi says she'd loooove to put all of this acrimony behind them, but Jen says that putting a sex tape rumor in front of millions of people has made for a very sticky situation...then informs her that Brody has denied to Lauren that he had anything to do with it and put the blame squarely on her and Spencer. Jen comes right out and asks her if she had anything to do with sex tape-gate, and Heidi immediately gets defensive and says she should know better than to confront her with that, unhappily mumbles, "I can't believe you're coming at me like this", and asks the waitress for the check.
Jen Bunney meets up with Heidi at Cheebo to update her on her lunch with Lauren, adding that it's helped smooth things over between them. An envious looking Heidi says she'd loooove to put all of this acrimony behind them, but Jen says that putting a sex tape rumor in front of millions of people has made for a very sticky situation...then informs her that Brody has denied to Lauren that he had anything to do with it and put the blame squarely on her and Spencer. Jen comes right out and asks her if she had anything to do with sex tape-gate, and Heidi immediately gets defensive and says she should know better than to confront her with that, unhappily mumbles, "I can't believe you're coming at me like this", and asks the waitress for the check.
"I just have two questions: what did you know, and when did you know it?"
"Check please!"
Heidi returns home and tells Spencer that Brody insists that he's the one who started the sex tape rumor, and Spencer rolls his eyes and snarks, "He's such a little bitch." Heidi says she's deeply annoyed at Jen for asking her if she knew anything about it, not least 'cause she's remained friends with her while Lauren shunned her for nearly a year. Spencer calls Brody shady...but when Heidi says it's soooo sad that the wrong person is being blamed for the rumor, he just stares back at her with a smirky grin that strongly suggests that, in fact, the correct person is being blamed for the rumor.
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Lo is thrilled to see that Justin-Bobby will be flying with them to Vegas
"What Happens in Vegas..."
Original airdate: 10/1/2007
Episode summary: The Hills gang heads to Vegas to celebrate Brody's birthday. Heidi faces a Bolthouse emergency during a romantic anniversary dinner with Spencer.
Original airdate: 10/1/2007
Episode summary: The Hills gang heads to Vegas to celebrate Brody's birthday. Heidi faces a Bolthouse emergency during a romantic anniversary dinner with Spencer.
Recap: Lauren and Audrina are about to jet to Vegas to surprise Brody on the eve of his twenty-fourth birthday. Audrina says that Justin is going to meet them at the airport...and when Lauren asks if he's OK being the only guy in their travel group, Audrina breezily says it'll all be fine 'cause he's with her. In response, Lauren chortles, "Should be interesting." That it should, Lauren. That it should.
Spencer reminds Heidi that they'll be celebrating their one year anniversary this weekend, and will do so by luxuriating at a spa, then chowing down on some Mexican food at Don Antonio's. He jokes about wanting to tell his parents about their wedding after it's happened, but Heidi scrunches her face disapprovingly and says she's not going to be "that girl". Spencer gushes about how anyone would be thrilled to have her as their daughter-in-law, and then the two toast the joyousness of spending the last twelve months of their lives with each other.
Lauren, Audrina, Lo, and Jill arrive at LAX and chuckle over the sight of Justin with his travel bag and guitar. As Audrina greets him hello, Lo wonders aloud if the disheveled dipshit is even going to say hi to them. As the gals check in their bags, they ask Justin if he's going to serenade them with his guitar...but when he seems to reply to that by staring broodily into space, they take that as a hard no.
At the Palms Hotel, Brody is chillin' in his suite with Frankie and Taylor, anticipating the fun weekend ahead. When there's a knock on the door, Brody rushes to answer it and woots happily when Lauren et. al. tumble into the suite while shrieking, "Surprise! Happy birthday!" After everyone greets one another with hugs and hellos, Lauren raises her drink and cheerily toasts Brody's birthday...and Justin gets called out for guzzling his drink instead of waiting until after everyone has clinked glasses.
Spencer reminds Heidi that they'll be celebrating their one year anniversary this weekend, and will do so by luxuriating at a spa, then chowing down on some Mexican food at Don Antonio's. He jokes about wanting to tell his parents about their wedding after it's happened, but Heidi scrunches her face disapprovingly and says she's not going to be "that girl". Spencer gushes about how anyone would be thrilled to have her as their daughter-in-law, and then the two toast the joyousness of spending the last twelve months of their lives with each other.
Lauren, Audrina, Lo, and Jill arrive at LAX and chuckle over the sight of Justin with his travel bag and guitar. As Audrina greets him hello, Lo wonders aloud if the disheveled dipshit is even going to say hi to them. As the gals check in their bags, they ask Justin if he's going to serenade them with his guitar...but when he seems to reply to that by staring broodily into space, they take that as a hard no.
At the Palms Hotel, Brody is chillin' in his suite with Frankie and Taylor, anticipating the fun weekend ahead. When there's a knock on the door, Brody rushes to answer it and woots happily when Lauren et. al. tumble into the suite while shrieking, "Surprise! Happy birthday!" After everyone greets one another with hugs and hellos, Lauren raises her drink and cheerily toasts Brody's birthday...and Justin gets called out for guzzling his drink instead of waiting until after everyone has clinked glasses.
"Happy Birthday, Brody!"
"Yeah...what she said."
Over at Bolthouse, Elodie is trash-talking Heidi with Michelle (the Executive Assistant) and expressing her deep dismay at being passed over for a promotion so that Heidi could be installed in the fancy white office as the new Events Director. She informs Michelle that she gave Brent her notice 'cause 1) she's fed up with The Whole Heidi Situation, and 2) is ready to take the next step in her event-planning career. As Michelle's all, "Wha-a-a-a?", Elodie confirms that today is her last day at Bolthouse - just as Heidi "arrives for work" and sashays over to her office.
Brent checks in with Heidi regarding tomorrow night's big event, and she assures him that everything's all set - except for a tiny wrinkle: tomorrow is her anniversary. When Brent just stares back at her blankly for several seconds, she asks him if it's OK to ask someone else to cover for her, and he says he doesn't much care who covers the event, as long as there's a deliberate miscommunication that stirs up some contrived drama that the MTV camera crew can capture on film. Elodie, who's been eavesdropping on the conversation, shakes her head in utter incredulity.
After the commercial break, Heidi wanders over to Elodie's workstation to ask if everything's on track for tomorrow's big event, as well as to share that it's her anniversary and then pause so that Elodie can ask if she'd like her to fill in at the last minute. Heidi's like, "Er, yeah..?" ... and when Elodie snappishly retorts, "Sure. Anything for you", Heidi either ignores or fails to detect the brazen sarcasm and reminds her that it's just business and nothing personal. Elodie says she couldn't agree more, wishes Heidi a wonderful anniversary, and smirks to herself as Heidi sashays back to her office.
Brent checks in with Heidi regarding tomorrow night's big event, and she assures him that everything's all set - except for a tiny wrinkle: tomorrow is her anniversary. When Brent just stares back at her blankly for several seconds, she asks him if it's OK to ask someone else to cover for her, and he says he doesn't much care who covers the event, as long as there's a deliberate miscommunication that stirs up some contrived drama that the MTV camera crew can capture on film. Elodie, who's been eavesdropping on the conversation, shakes her head in utter incredulity.
After the commercial break, Heidi wanders over to Elodie's workstation to ask if everything's on track for tomorrow's big event, as well as to share that it's her anniversary and then pause so that Elodie can ask if she'd like her to fill in at the last minute. Heidi's like, "Er, yeah..?" ... and when Elodie snappishly retorts, "Sure. Anything for you", Heidi either ignores or fails to detect the brazen sarcasm and reminds her that it's just business and nothing personal. Elodie says she couldn't agree more, wishes Heidi a wonderful anniversary, and smirks to herself as Heidi sashays back to her office.
"I'd like you to fill in for me on Saturday night so that I can enjoy my anniversary festivities."
"I'll definitely put your anniversary festivities at the top of my priority list."
In their hotel room, Lo tells Lauren that Justin hasn't said a single word to any of them, and Lauren says she sort of gets why 'cause she admittedly wasn't very nice to him during the genesis of the 'should we call you Justin-Bobby?' mockery. Lo then places the first bet of the weekend: the first person to make Justin crack a smile wins [not sure what].
At the hotel bar, Brody thanks everyone for coming all the way to Vegas to celebrate his birthday. After Justin and Audrina make their grand entrance, Jill tells Justin they bought him a shot, but the edited footage makes it look as though he reacts to that extended olive branch by ignoring her and then sticking out his tongue at the shot. Jill and/or Lo complain to Lauren, "He, like, won't even talk to us", but Lauren decides that she's just not up for any Justin-Bobby-related drama and instead directs all of her attention on gushing at Brody for the grand achievement of turning twenty-four.
Later, Frankie tells Lauren he thinks that she and Brody should hook up 'cause they make such a super fun couple - but Lauren insists that being non-platonic doesn't work for them, and that they get along better when they remain friends. A few seconds later, Lo lounges about in a way that reveals her cooch to everyone in her vicinity, prompting laugher from Brody and Lauren to blushingly remark, "I just saw Lo's Britney."
The next morning, Brody tells Taylor and Frankie they were out of their minds last night, and Frankie urges him to rest up 'cause they're gonna have to do it all over again tonight. He then urges Brody to consider hooking-up with Lauren, but Brody echos Lauren's official position that they're better off as friends. Frankie says he loooooves the idea of his two best friends dating...and Taylor looks faux confused as he asks, "Me and Brody?", prompting the three men to burst out laughing.
Lauren, Lo, and Jill are hanging poolside, wondering why Audrina is MIA in this scene. Lo says she's still miffed that they bought Justin a drink, a gesture which went completely unacknowledged...and Lauren suggests that maybe he feels awkward about having to hang out with a clique he knows thinks he's a rude doofus. Lo swiftly changes the subject to Brody and encourages Lauren to tap that, given that Jason is pretty much permanently off The Hills - but Lauren insists once again that she and the Brode-ster are strictly friends.
That evening, the posse heads over to Pure Nightclub, where Lauren gives Brody a not-so-platonic-looking birthday kiss, and Lo and Frankie make out, which...um, OK.
At Don Antonio's, Heidi is touched when she sees that Spencer has arranged for their favorite table to be decorated with romantic candles. She then coos about how happy she is that she was able to shamelessly rope Elodie into covering tonight's Bolthouse event, freeing her up to dine on enchiladas by candle-light with her beloved.
Back in Vegas, the gals are lounging atop a rotating bed when Lo comes right out and tells Audrina, "Justin haaaaaates us", and complains that he refuses to give them the time of day, despite all their efforts to be nice to him. Audrina nonsensically mumbles that her and Justin's dysfunction is none of anyone else's business and that he's loathe to open up to people he doesn't know, to which Lo bitchily retorts, "He could at least respond when we say hi." Audrina scrunches her face pissily as she sarcastically counters, "OK, I'll blow him off and never talk to him again just to make you guys happy" ... and while she's saying that, Lauren is staring over at her with a heavily dismayed the fuck? expression before announcing that she's storming off to hang elsewhere. Audrina gets upset by the hasty exit and screeches, "You know what? I'm done!" and snarks at Lo that she gets that they don't like Justin.
At the hotel bar, Brody thanks everyone for coming all the way to Vegas to celebrate his birthday. After Justin and Audrina make their grand entrance, Jill tells Justin they bought him a shot, but the edited footage makes it look as though he reacts to that extended olive branch by ignoring her and then sticking out his tongue at the shot. Jill and/or Lo complain to Lauren, "He, like, won't even talk to us", but Lauren decides that she's just not up for any Justin-Bobby-related drama and instead directs all of her attention on gushing at Brody for the grand achievement of turning twenty-four.
Later, Frankie tells Lauren he thinks that she and Brody should hook up 'cause they make such a super fun couple - but Lauren insists that being non-platonic doesn't work for them, and that they get along better when they remain friends. A few seconds later, Lo lounges about in a way that reveals her cooch to everyone in her vicinity, prompting laugher from Brody and Lauren to blushingly remark, "I just saw Lo's Britney."
The next morning, Brody tells Taylor and Frankie they were out of their minds last night, and Frankie urges him to rest up 'cause they're gonna have to do it all over again tonight. He then urges Brody to consider hooking-up with Lauren, but Brody echos Lauren's official position that they're better off as friends. Frankie says he loooooves the idea of his two best friends dating...and Taylor looks faux confused as he asks, "Me and Brody?", prompting the three men to burst out laughing.
Lauren, Lo, and Jill are hanging poolside, wondering why Audrina is MIA in this scene. Lo says she's still miffed that they bought Justin a drink, a gesture which went completely unacknowledged...and Lauren suggests that maybe he feels awkward about having to hang out with a clique he knows thinks he's a rude doofus. Lo swiftly changes the subject to Brody and encourages Lauren to tap that, given that Jason is pretty much permanently off The Hills - but Lauren insists once again that she and the Brode-ster are strictly friends.
That evening, the posse heads over to Pure Nightclub, where Lauren gives Brody a not-so-platonic-looking birthday kiss, and Lo and Frankie make out, which...um, OK.
At Don Antonio's, Heidi is touched when she sees that Spencer has arranged for their favorite table to be decorated with romantic candles. She then coos about how happy she is that she was able to shamelessly rope Elodie into covering tonight's Bolthouse event, freeing her up to dine on enchiladas by candle-light with her beloved.
Back in Vegas, the gals are lounging atop a rotating bed when Lo comes right out and tells Audrina, "Justin haaaaaates us", and complains that he refuses to give them the time of day, despite all their efforts to be nice to him. Audrina nonsensically mumbles that her and Justin's dysfunction is none of anyone else's business and that he's loathe to open up to people he doesn't know, to which Lo bitchily retorts, "He could at least respond when we say hi." Audrina scrunches her face pissily as she sarcastically counters, "OK, I'll blow him off and never talk to him again just to make you guys happy" ... and while she's saying that, Lauren is staring over at her with a heavily dismayed the fuck? expression before announcing that she's storming off to hang elsewhere. Audrina gets upset by the hasty exit and screeches, "You know what? I'm done!" and snarks at Lo that she gets that they don't like Justin.
"I'll blow Justin off forever just 'cause you don't like him."
"See? That wasn't so hard."
Over at Don Antonio's, Heidi is waxing on to Spencer about the relaxing day she had at the spa, and and the romantic dinner she's currently enjoying...but a few seconds later, she gets a frantic call from Michelle, who informs her that tonight's big Bolthouse event is a mess and that she needs to get there asap. Heidi scrunches her face in faux puzzlement and asks, "Is Elodie there?" and Michelle informs her that Elodie quit yesterday...prompting Heidi to be all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" before promising to rush over and solve whatever made up crisis they're pretending is currently unfolding. Spencer, meanwhile, is staring unhappily at Heidi, so she reminds him that she just got this promotion and is therefore responsible for putting out any fires. She meekly coos, "I love you", and he sullenly retorts, "No you don't", but then gets up and hightails it with her towards the exit.
Lauren tells Brody she's annoyed by all the Justin drama this episode, and Brody assures her that while Justin has no issues with her, he does have a tiny problem with Lo. Lauren rolls her eyes and says that the big crime Lo committed was calling him Justin-Bobby, and Brody's like, "Hey, don't shoot the messenger" and says he's simply making an effort to see everyone's side. Lauren says she's frustrated that every time they argue, it's an argument two entirely different people should be having - but Brody insists that he's not so much arguing as he is discussing, then suggests they just shut up and cuddle. Lauren obliges, mutters that he's a jerk for standing up for people who don't deserve it...and Brody explains that he actually likes Justin and has a general policy to always try to see all sides of an argument. Lauren seems satisfied enough with that response and leans toward him for a smooch and some platonic (?) canoodling.
Lauren tells Brody she's annoyed by all the Justin drama this episode, and Brody assures her that while Justin has no issues with her, he does have a tiny problem with Lo. Lauren rolls her eyes and says that the big crime Lo committed was calling him Justin-Bobby, and Brody's like, "Hey, don't shoot the messenger" and says he's simply making an effort to see everyone's side. Lauren says she's frustrated that every time they argue, it's an argument two entirely different people should be having - but Brody insists that he's not so much arguing as he is discussing, then suggests they just shut up and cuddle. Lauren obliges, mutters that he's a jerk for standing up for people who don't deserve it...and Brody explains that he actually likes Justin and has a general policy to always try to see all sides of an argument. Lauren seems satisfied enough with that response and leans toward him for a smooch and some platonic (?) canoodling.
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Whitney accurate predicts the verbal whoop-ass she's about to get from Lisa Love
"For Better or Worse"
Original airdate: 9/24/2007
Episode summary: Lauren is shocked when Jason becomes engaged to his new girlfriend. Spencer seems disinterested in wedding planning. Whitney gets in trouble with Lisa Love for some pre-photoshoot shenanigans with Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
Original airdate: 9/24/2007
Episode summary: Lauren is shocked when Jason becomes engaged to his new girlfriend. Spencer seems disinterested in wedding planning. Whitney gets in trouble with Lisa Love for some pre-photoshoot shenanigans with Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
Recap: Jason and Lauren are hanging at a patio restaurant, engaged in their usual banal chit-chat, when he suddenly informs her that he really really wants her to meet his girlfriend and future roommate, Katja. As he murmurs, "She's so cool", a stunned looking Lauren shakes her head in dismay and looks less than thrilled at the prospect of meeting her ex's new plus one...but when he asks her if she'd like to come to his housewarming party to meet his beloved, she amiably tells him she'd loooooove to.
The next day at Hillside Villas, Lauren reports to Audrina that..
Over at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love is giving Whitney some last minute instructions regarding the upcoming photoshoot with the band, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. She warns that it's a huge shoot, that bands - even the ones no one's heard of yet - are notoriously difficult to deal with, and that if anything goes wrong, it's her ass. Lisa advises her to take Lauren along to help out with the grunt work, then emphasizes that as a paid Fashion Contributor, she's responsible for whatever problems may arise, and to ensure that everyone associated with the shoot behaves according to the Teen Vogue rules of order. Whitney does her best to not look daunted by the pressure that's being put upon her and assures Lisa that she's totally up to the task (sort of).
The next day at Hillside Villas, Lauren reports to Audrina that..
- Jason has a new girlfriend who Lauren somehow didn't know existed until this episode...which also seems like odd timing, given that he's supposedly been in rehab for the last several months
- Jason and Katja are about to move in together
- Jason invited her (Lauren) to come to his housewarming party so that the MTV camera crew can capture all the salty drama of his ex meeting his soon-to-be ex
Over at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love is giving Whitney some last minute instructions regarding the upcoming photoshoot with the band, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. She warns that it's a huge shoot, that bands - even the ones no one's heard of yet - are notoriously difficult to deal with, and that if anything goes wrong, it's her ass. Lisa advises her to take Lauren along to help out with the grunt work, then emphasizes that as a paid Fashion Contributor, she's responsible for whatever problems may arise, and to ensure that everyone associated with the shoot behaves according to the Teen Vogue rules of order. Whitney does her best to not look daunted by the pressure that's being put upon her and assures Lisa that she's totally up to the task (sort of).
"Don't screw the pooch on this photoshoot."
"I will translate that to mean the opposite."
Heidi takes Jen with her to a bridal shop to look at wedding gowns. She tries on a fairly plain looking one, and Jen coos about how pretty she looks - but then asks if she really, absolutely, 100% thinks that marrying a bonehead like Spencer when they're both in their early twenties is truly the wisest decision she could be making. She adds that she finds the notion of marriage at this age scary 'cause of how easy it is for twentysomethings to fall out of love - but Heidi explains that she's of a completely different frame of mind and can't picture her life without Spencer on account of him being her soulmate and all. Jen's like, "Uh huh" and continues to insist that marriage is scary, as was evidenced when her good friend recently broke up with her boyfriend of five years.
Whitney and Lauren arrive at the Magic Castle Hotel for a preliminary jean fitting with the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus band members. They ask for their sizes and hand out the pairs of jeans...and one of the band members, Elias Reidy, proudly boasts that he wears a ladies size 8. As that weird revelation just kind of hangs there like a lead balloon, the other band members ask the gals what they're doing tonight, and they all decide they should hang out together at a local dive bar. On their way back to the car, Whitney tells Lauren she hopes this doesn't prove to be a bad idea...'cause what could go wrong with them binge-drinking with the band the night before what Lisa had sternly reminded her was a "huge" Teen Vogue photoshoot?
Lauren, Whitney, and Audrina arrive at the Dime later that evening and meet up with Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. When the guys order a round of shots, Whitney half-heartedly reminds them that they have a photoshoot early in the morning and doesn't think that getting recklessly hammered is such a good idea - but when the shots arrive, she chirps, "I hope I don't get wasted!" and throws one back. LOL. One of the band members asks Whitney where they're clubbing after this, and she says the prudent thing to do would be for all of them to retire early so that they'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the photoshoot - but he's just like, "Nah, we're definitely partying all night long" and tells The Hills gals they're more than welcome to join their drunkfest.
Whitney and Lauren arrive at the Magic Castle Hotel for a preliminary jean fitting with the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus band members. They ask for their sizes and hand out the pairs of jeans...and one of the band members, Elias Reidy, proudly boasts that he wears a ladies size 8. As that weird revelation just kind of hangs there like a lead balloon, the other band members ask the gals what they're doing tonight, and they all decide they should hang out together at a local dive bar. On their way back to the car, Whitney tells Lauren she hopes this doesn't prove to be a bad idea...'cause what could go wrong with them binge-drinking with the band the night before what Lisa had sternly reminded her was a "huge" Teen Vogue photoshoot?
Lauren, Whitney, and Audrina arrive at the Dime later that evening and meet up with Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. When the guys order a round of shots, Whitney half-heartedly reminds them that they have a photoshoot early in the morning and doesn't think that getting recklessly hammered is such a good idea - but when the shots arrive, she chirps, "I hope I don't get wasted!" and throws one back. LOL. One of the band members asks Whitney where they're clubbing after this, and she says the prudent thing to do would be for all of them to retire early so that they'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the photoshoot - but he's just like, "Nah, we're definitely partying all night long" and tells The Hills gals they're more than welcome to join their drunkfest.
"We should limit the alcohol, get to bed at a decent hour, and have a productive photoshoot early in the morning."
"Nah, nope, and not likely."
The next morning at Hillside Villas, a hungover Lauren staggers into the living room and tells Audrina she's worried that Whitney might get into trouble if the band is too hungover from all of the drunken partying (that she and Whitney fully enabled) to show up at the photoshoot on time. She then changes the subject to Jason's housewarming party and says it's going to be awkward to meet Katja, but that she'll do her best to be as pleasant as possible to her...and Audrina remarks again that she can't believe Jason and his brand new girlfriend are actually moving in together.
Photoshoot! As a bleary-eyed Lauren does her best to not throw up, Whitney hopes to hell she doesn't get blowback for keeping the band out so late...and when the stylist remarks on how they haven't arrived yet, she (Whitney) wonders if maybe they had car trouble. When they finally do arrive, she brings over their wardrobe items - but Elias Reidy digs in about his strong preference for his size 8 ladies pants, and Whitney paces around while looking hopeless to convince him otherwise [even though he apparently wasn't as big of a dick off-camera about wearing the Teen Vogue-mandated jeans]. Later, Whitney laments to Lauren about how Lisa Love is surely going to chastise her for how shittily she's running this shoot, and mimics Lisa declaring that she has no future in the fashion industry.
As part of wedding planning, Heidi and Spencer stop in at a housewares store to register. While Heidi scans various plates and glassware, Spencer looks visibly bored and says he finds it weird to ask their friends to buy them the kind of kitchen stuff they already have. Fair point.
Housewarming party! Lauren and Audrina arrive, hug Jason hello, and are introduced to his girlfriend Katja. Jason brazenly smooches Katja for several minutes before bounding back over to Lauren and asking her if she's OK. She assures him she is, and is sipping from a red cup of beer when two of Jason's guests yell at everyone to shut the fuck up so they can announce the exciting news: Jason and Katja have just gotten engaged! As everyone woots happily, Lauren gives Audrina a the fuck? look as she raises her plastic cup of beer as a toast before snarling, "Is it bad that I really want to leave?" ... and the MTV camera crew's like, "Nice try, but after this announcement we're gonna need footage that documents your shocked and dismayed reaction."
Photoshoot! As a bleary-eyed Lauren does her best to not throw up, Whitney hopes to hell she doesn't get blowback for keeping the band out so late...and when the stylist remarks on how they haven't arrived yet, she (Whitney) wonders if maybe they had car trouble. When they finally do arrive, she brings over their wardrobe items - but Elias Reidy digs in about his strong preference for his size 8 ladies pants, and Whitney paces around while looking hopeless to convince him otherwise [even though he apparently wasn't as big of a dick off-camera about wearing the Teen Vogue-mandated jeans]. Later, Whitney laments to Lauren about how Lisa Love is surely going to chastise her for how shittily she's running this shoot, and mimics Lisa declaring that she has no future in the fashion industry.
As part of wedding planning, Heidi and Spencer stop in at a housewares store to register. While Heidi scans various plates and glassware, Spencer looks visibly bored and says he finds it weird to ask their friends to buy them the kind of kitchen stuff they already have. Fair point.
Housewarming party! Lauren and Audrina arrive, hug Jason hello, and are introduced to his girlfriend Katja. Jason brazenly smooches Katja for several minutes before bounding back over to Lauren and asking her if she's OK. She assures him she is, and is sipping from a red cup of beer when two of Jason's guests yell at everyone to shut the fuck up so they can announce the exciting news: Jason and Katja have just gotten engaged! As everyone woots happily, Lauren gives Audrina a the fuck? look as she raises her plastic cup of beer as a toast before snarling, "Is it bad that I really want to leave?" ... and the MTV camera crew's like, "Nice try, but after this announcement we're gonna need footage that documents your shocked and dismayed reaction."
Jason and Katja are about as thrilled to have their engagement announced at a keg party..
...as Lauren is to toast their impending nuptials with a cup of beer
Lauren goes outside for some air, and Jason follows her and asks whassup with her gloomy aura and says, "I know you don't like her" ... which was entirely nonsensical, given that Lauren's known Katja for all of five minutes. Lauren comes right out and tells him she strongly feels he's an idiot, in this case for wanting to get married at such a ridiculously young age, and adds that she just can't bring herself to be happy for him. A few seconds later, Katja wanders over, asks Jason, "Having fun baby?", and stands between him and Lauren, who looks more desperate than ever to flee this keg housewarming-turned-engagement party.
The next morning at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love asks Whitney how the photoshoot went, and specifically asks why the band showed up so late. Whitney admits that she, her pals, and the MTV camera crew had gone out with the band the night before in an effort to get to know them and make them feel comfortable while in L.A. ... then pretends to be clueless about any possible connection between the binge-drinking they all indulged in until the wee hours of the morning and the band's tardiness on the day of the shoot. Lisa chides her for socializing with the band, says "That's beyond your job", and makes it clear that Teen Vogue frowns on that sort of thing. She brusquely adds, "I just want respect on every shoot that we do" and points out that it's kinda hard for the band to respect them if they've been out clubbing the night before. A chastened Whitney apologizes for the misstep, and Lisa tells her she's gonna need to "step it up" and get it through her thick skull that anytime anything ever goes wrong on a photoshoot it's solely her responsibility.
The next morning at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love asks Whitney how the photoshoot went, and specifically asks why the band showed up so late. Whitney admits that she, her pals, and the MTV camera crew had gone out with the band the night before in an effort to get to know them and make them feel comfortable while in L.A. ... then pretends to be clueless about any possible connection between the binge-drinking they all indulged in until the wee hours of the morning and the band's tardiness on the day of the shoot. Lisa chides her for socializing with the band, says "That's beyond your job", and makes it clear that Teen Vogue frowns on that sort of thing. She brusquely adds, "I just want respect on every shoot that we do" and points out that it's kinda hard for the band to respect them if they've been out clubbing the night before. A chastened Whitney apologizes for the misstep, and Lisa tells her she's gonna need to "step it up" and get it through her thick skull that anytime anything ever goes wrong on a photoshoot it's solely her responsibility.
"Why was the band late to the photoshoot?"
"That depends on what you mean by was."
While dining on the patio of a restaurant, Heidi brings up the topic of wedding planning to Spencer, and he agrees that they "need to look at some calendars" - even though just one would suffice - then suggests that a Tibet wedding might be kewl. Heidi makes a face and says she doesn't want that, and would prefer something more local that includes all the basic traditions: registering at an expensive store, wearing a frothy overpriced gown, and exchanging vows inside a fancy church. She asks him what his parents would think about not being present at their Tibetan wedding, and Spencer admits that he hasn't actually mentioned their impending nuptials to either of his parents. A dismayed Heidi asks him why not and suggests he's embarrassed...and he's like, "Why would I be embarrassed?" - but doesn't explain anything further as the two spend the last few seconds of this scene mutely staring at each other.
While grabbing a bite after work, Whitney tells Lauren she just got an ass-whooping by Lisa Love, and that she's going to have to do a much better job at the next photoshoot. She then notices Lauren's dazed demeanour and asks her whassup, so Lauren tells her that Jason just got engaged to his new girlfriend at a keg party, which was really hard to take seriously...and that she'd be sooooo depressed if this was the sad story of her engagement. She points out that Jason shouldn't even really be dating anyone 'cause he's still in the process of being rehabbed, then worries about what'll happen if this relationship falls apart and someone has to help pick up the pieces. Whitney urges her to let him do that for himself, 'cause 1) he's a grown-ass man who stupidly leaped into this thing head-first and should just suck up the consequences, and 2) it ain't Lauren's job to pick up the pieces of any of her ex-boyfriend's lives. Lauren concurs, then says it's clear that she really dodged a bullet when she dumped Jason after Season 1...and realizes that if she hadn't, she might be the one who just celebrated her engagement at a keg housewarming-turned-engagement party.
While grabbing a bite after work, Whitney tells Lauren she just got an ass-whooping by Lisa Love, and that she's going to have to do a much better job at the next photoshoot. She then notices Lauren's dazed demeanour and asks her whassup, so Lauren tells her that Jason just got engaged to his new girlfriend at a keg party, which was really hard to take seriously...and that she'd be sooooo depressed if this was the sad story of her engagement. She points out that Jason shouldn't even really be dating anyone 'cause he's still in the process of being rehabbed, then worries about what'll happen if this relationship falls apart and someone has to help pick up the pieces. Whitney urges her to let him do that for himself, 'cause 1) he's a grown-ass man who stupidly leaped into this thing head-first and should just suck up the consequences, and 2) it ain't Lauren's job to pick up the pieces of any of her ex-boyfriend's lives. Lauren concurs, then says it's clear that she really dodged a bullet when she dumped Jason after Season 1...and realizes that if she hadn't, she might be the one who just celebrated her engagement at a keg housewarming-turned-engagement party.
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It suddenly dawns on Lauren why The Hills producers ordered her and Jason to dine at Ketchup
"They Meet Again"
Original airdate: 9/17/2007
Episode summary: Lauren and Jason encounter Heidi and Spencer while dining at Ketchup. Elodie expresses the utter scorn she feels for Heidi's inability to determine right from wrong.
Original airdate: 9/17/2007
Episode summary: Lauren and Jason encounter Heidi and Spencer while dining at Ketchup. Elodie expresses the utter scorn she feels for Heidi's inability to determine right from wrong.
Recap: Audrina returns to Hillside Villas after a weekend trip with Justin. She happily reports to Lauren that she and the disheveled oaf had lots of good talks and fooled around...and when [a nauseated] Lauren asks where they stand, Audrina says she's somehow under the impression that Justin is newly committed to being in a non-platonic relationship with her. Lauren pretends to be happy for her and scrunches her eyes shut while shrieking, "Audrina has a boyfriend!" She then tells Audrina that she had coffee with Jason yesterday, and Audrina exclaims, "I can't believe he's back in your life."
Spencer is reading the paper while Heidi gets ready to start her new job as Bolthouse's Pretend Events Director. She says that while Elodie isn't thrilled about being passed over for the promotion, she appears to have accepted that it's just business. The two then kiss and hug goodbye, and Heidi promises to give him a call to let him know how her first day is going.
Over at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love is leading a planning meeting for the upcoming Young Hollywood party. She tells Whitney et. al. that Amy Astley wants to showcase Marc Jacobs' fashions during the party, and that the guest list needs to be double what it was last year. The first task on the to do list is to find two suitable venues to present to Amy, and Whitney says she's on the case.
Heidi settles into her fancy new office at Bolthouse and gets an update from intern Lacey about the various messages she's received thus far. When they all seem to be from random, non-Bolthouse people Heidi has never heard of, she clarifies to Lacey that the only calls that can be put through without any kind of vetting are from Spencer, Jen, and Brent...given that he's the one who installed her in this faux position.
Spencer is reading the paper while Heidi gets ready to start her new job as Bolthouse's Pretend Events Director. She says that while Elodie isn't thrilled about being passed over for the promotion, she appears to have accepted that it's just business. The two then kiss and hug goodbye, and Heidi promises to give him a call to let him know how her first day is going.
Over at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love is leading a planning meeting for the upcoming Young Hollywood party. She tells Whitney et. al. that Amy Astley wants to showcase Marc Jacobs' fashions during the party, and that the guest list needs to be double what it was last year. The first task on the to do list is to find two suitable venues to present to Amy, and Whitney says she's on the case.
Heidi settles into her fancy new office at Bolthouse and gets an update from intern Lacey about the various messages she's received thus far. When they all seem to be from random, non-Bolthouse people Heidi has never heard of, she clarifies to Lacey that the only calls that can be put through without any kind of vetting are from Spencer, Jen, and Brent...given that he's the one who installed her in this faux position.
"You got messages from a bunch of randos."
"The only non-randos I'll take calls from are my boyfriend, my only gal pal, and the man who pretends to employ me."
Lauren and Whitney are scouting the Beverly Wilshire Hotel as a possible location for the Young Hollywood party. After they get a brief tour and take some photographs, Lauren tells Whitney that she had coffee with Jason yesterday, and that rehabbing seems to have done him a world of good.
Back in the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren and Whitney agree that the hotel is much too small for the Young Hollywood party...and that since they need space for the band and a large runway, they should probably target some non-hotel venues. With that settled, Lauren shares that Audrina went away with Justin last weekend...and Whitney's all, "That's back on?" then just kind of shrugs and says that the two probably worked out their various issues, and that no one else needs to be involved in that imminent train wreck. Lauren's like, "Amen to that", then gets a call from Jason, who invites her to have dinner with him at Ketchup tonight.
Heidi sashays over to Lacey, hands her two cell phones, and asks her if she wouldn't mind transferring all of the Bolthouse contacts from one device to the other...and while that's happening, Elodie wanders past, staring curiously at the two of them. A few seconds later, Spencer calls one of the cell phones to tell Heidi that they should celebrate her promotion by going to dinner at Ketchup, and Heidi smiles happily at the romantic invitation.
Lauren and Jason arrive at Ketchup and engage in some banal chitchat - just as Heidi and Spencer arrive. A stunned Lauren alerts Jason to their presence...and as Spencer passes by, he sarcastically comments, "It's great to see you back together. It's heartwarming." Lauren reacts by rolling her eyes, while Heidi and Spencer chuckle about how funny and totally non-coincidental it is that The Hills producers arranged for the four of them to "just happen" to end up at the same restaurant at the same time, then crossed their fingers that something spicy would erupt from that. Lauren mutters about how much she hates Spencer, and Jason's just like, "Whatever. Who cares? Don't let them bother you." Heidi and Spencer wonder aloud if Lauren picked up her loser ex from rehab, or perhaps even jail...and Heidi furrows her brows while wondering aloud, "Maybe they're back in the movie making action", to which a spaced-out Spencer haltingly mumbles, "That. Is. Ker-AYE-zee."
Back in the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren and Whitney agree that the hotel is much too small for the Young Hollywood party...and that since they need space for the band and a large runway, they should probably target some non-hotel venues. With that settled, Lauren shares that Audrina went away with Justin last weekend...and Whitney's all, "That's back on?" then just kind of shrugs and says that the two probably worked out their various issues, and that no one else needs to be involved in that imminent train wreck. Lauren's like, "Amen to that", then gets a call from Jason, who invites her to have dinner with him at Ketchup tonight.
Heidi sashays over to Lacey, hands her two cell phones, and asks her if she wouldn't mind transferring all of the Bolthouse contacts from one device to the other...and while that's happening, Elodie wanders past, staring curiously at the two of them. A few seconds later, Spencer calls one of the cell phones to tell Heidi that they should celebrate her promotion by going to dinner at Ketchup, and Heidi smiles happily at the romantic invitation.
Lauren and Jason arrive at Ketchup and engage in some banal chitchat - just as Heidi and Spencer arrive. A stunned Lauren alerts Jason to their presence...and as Spencer passes by, he sarcastically comments, "It's great to see you back together. It's heartwarming." Lauren reacts by rolling her eyes, while Heidi and Spencer chuckle about how funny and totally non-coincidental it is that The Hills producers arranged for the four of them to "just happen" to end up at the same restaurant at the same time, then crossed their fingers that something spicy would erupt from that. Lauren mutters about how much she hates Spencer, and Jason's just like, "Whatever. Who cares? Don't let them bother you." Heidi and Spencer wonder aloud if Lauren picked up her loser ex from rehab, or perhaps even jail...and Heidi furrows her brows while wondering aloud, "Maybe they're back in the movie making action", to which a spaced-out Spencer haltingly mumbles, "That. Is. Ker-AYE-zee."
"I bet those two are about to release another sex tape."
"Hee hee...there you go, putting my words in your mouth."
Jason tells Lauren that he, along with everyone he knows, dislikes Heidi (and, by association, Spencer), and that he wouldn't mind expressing this in a really public way while at Ketchup - but Lauren urges him to sit still and not take The Hills producers' bait by causing a scene. Heidi and Spencer summon the waitress over and order a bunch of drinks to send over to Lauren's/Jason's table - but Lauren tells the waitress, "Thanks but no thanks", while Jason talks about the need for "some serious beat downs". A miffed looking Heidi tells Spencer she's completely baffled that Lauren would break bread with her crazy, abusive ex-boyfriend, while shunning her for the crime of dating a malevolent Chucky doll lookalike. Lauren, meanwhile, tells Jason she's ready to put an end to this contrived spectacle...and as the two head towards the exit, Heidi yells at them, "Bye! Have a good night", but is ignored.
While en route to Hillside Villas, Jason tells Lauren that Heidi has found her perfect match in Spencer, and that he always knew "that chick was shady". Lauren concurs and adds that it made no sense for Spencer to comment on their re-connecting, not least 'cause he (Spencer) has never even met him (Jason) ... and when Jason pulls up at Hillside Villas, Lauren sheepishly thanks him for enduring the drama-filled evening, then climbs out of the car and totters towards the residential building in her stilettos.
The next day in the Teen Vogue closet office, Whitney informs Lauren that Lisa Love gave them the green light to look into some non-hotel venues for the Young Hollywood party. Lauren updates her on the run-in at Ketchup with Heidi and Spencer, and describes in detail each interaction. She adds that Jason never really liked Heidi, and Whitney remarks that he must have had a good intuition about the twit.
Heidi arrives at Bolthouse and seats herself next to Elodie, who's doing some paperwork in the lounge area. Heidi gabs about running into Lauren and Jason at Ketchup last night, and how she and Spencer sent drinks to their table, which were promptly refused. Elodie comes right out and asks, "So, what exactly did you do to her?", then points out that she's also no longer friends with Audrina or Whitney. When a shocked looking Heidi is unable to mutter a coherent explanation, Elodie snappishly adds, "You don't even know what's wrong and what's right anymore", then scrunches her face into an expression of disgust as she calls the situation "so sad". As Heidi attempts to stammer something in reply, Elodie says she needs to finish up her paperwork and chirps, "See ya!" - LOL - while Heidi puts on her sad, forlorn face.
While en route to Hillside Villas, Jason tells Lauren that Heidi has found her perfect match in Spencer, and that he always knew "that chick was shady". Lauren concurs and adds that it made no sense for Spencer to comment on their re-connecting, not least 'cause he (Spencer) has never even met him (Jason) ... and when Jason pulls up at Hillside Villas, Lauren sheepishly thanks him for enduring the drama-filled evening, then climbs out of the car and totters towards the residential building in her stilettos.
The next day in the Teen Vogue closet office, Whitney informs Lauren that Lisa Love gave them the green light to look into some non-hotel venues for the Young Hollywood party. Lauren updates her on the run-in at Ketchup with Heidi and Spencer, and describes in detail each interaction. She adds that Jason never really liked Heidi, and Whitney remarks that he must have had a good intuition about the twit.
Heidi arrives at Bolthouse and seats herself next to Elodie, who's doing some paperwork in the lounge area. Heidi gabs about running into Lauren and Jason at Ketchup last night, and how she and Spencer sent drinks to their table, which were promptly refused. Elodie comes right out and asks, "So, what exactly did you do to her?", then points out that she's also no longer friends with Audrina or Whitney. When a shocked looking Heidi is unable to mutter a coherent explanation, Elodie snappishly adds, "You don't even know what's wrong and what's right anymore", then scrunches her face into an expression of disgust as she calls the situation "so sad". As Heidi attempts to stammer something in reply, Elodie says she needs to finish up her paperwork and chirps, "See ya!" - LOL - while Heidi puts on her sad, forlorn face.
"You don't seem to know what's right anymore."
"True - but in my defence, I never actually knew what that was."
Lauren meets up with Jason, who's browsing the newspaper for available apartments. She offers to help him house-hunt this weekend, then points out that if he gets a roommate, it's going to have to be a sober person. Jason remarks that none of his friends are sober, so Lauren offers to spend dry nights with him going bowling, seeing movies, or getting a gander at his - surprise! - fiancée at an upcoming house party.
Heidi and Spencer are having dinner at Don Antonio's, once again toasting Heidi's faux promotion. She complains that she's soooooo tired from all the imaginary work that's been added to her plate...and that despite Elodie's open hostility, she's going to continue to dig in about how much she deserves to be Bolthouse's new Pretend Events Director.
Heidi and Spencer are having dinner at Don Antonio's, once again toasting Heidi's faux promotion. She complains that she's soooooo tired from all the imaginary work that's been added to her plate...and that despite Elodie's open hostility, she's going to continue to dig in about how much she deserves to be Bolthouse's new Pretend Events Director.
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"I'm baaaaaack!"
"Second Chances"
Original airdate: 9/10/2007
Episode summary: Heidi alienates Elodie when she applies for a promotion at Bolthouse Productions. Lauren and Audrina go on a double date that doesn't end with a love match. Jason makes a return to The Hills universe.
Original airdate: 9/10/2007
Episode summary: Heidi alienates Elodie when she applies for a promotion at Bolthouse Productions. Lauren and Audrina go on a double date that doesn't end with a love match. Jason makes a return to The Hills universe.
Recap: While doing pretend intern work in the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren tells Whitney that Jason called her last night from wherever he's rehabbing. She adds that she hasn't seen the schlub since the Season 2 premiere, and that it's a tad irksome that he's decided to resurface when everything is finally going smoothly in her personal life.
Later..
Lauren and Audrina are at the gym, working out with an overly chatty trainer named Jarett. Lauren tells him she recently talked to a buddy of his, Derek, about enrolling in some sort of bootcamp, and Jarett says that Derek is a nice guy and that the four of them should all go out to dinner at Lola's tonight.
Over a post-workout snack, Lauren tells Audrina that Jason called and wants them to get together, and Audrina shares that she's still refusing to take Justin's calls. She then decrees that tonight is going to be all about dating new boys, and forbids any further talk of their horrible exes.
Later..
Lauren and Audrina are at the gym, working out with an overly chatty trainer named Jarett. Lauren tells him she recently talked to a buddy of his, Derek, about enrolling in some sort of bootcamp, and Jarett says that Derek is a nice guy and that the four of them should all go out to dinner at Lola's tonight.
Over a post-workout snack, Lauren tells Audrina that Jason called and wants them to get together, and Audrina shares that she's still refusing to take Justin's calls. She then decrees that tonight is going to be all about dating new boys, and forbids any further talk of their horrible exes.
"There shall be no more talk of Justin or Jason."
"Could I get that in writing?"
Over at Bolthouse Productions, Elodie tells Heidi that there's a new job opening for an Events Director that comes with its own private office (that they're standing right in front of), and makes it clear that she's very very interested in applying. Heidi's all, "Hmmm, interesting" as she quietly checks out the vacant office.
When Heidi returns home, she reports to Spencer - who looks as though he's been lounging on the couch all day, tapping away on his laptop - that there's an opening for an Events Director at Bolthouse. Spencer mumblingly describes the opportunity as "very legit", and Heidi adds that Elodie seems to have her heart set on the job. Spencer decrees, "You beyond deserve it", urges her to stir up whatever contrived sort of Hills drama it's going to take to get the job, and promises that he'll help her in any way he can [from the comfort of his permanent loafing spot on the living room couch].
Lauren and Audrina arrive at Lola's and warmly greet Jarett and Derek. Lauren idly asks Derek why he's wearing a Michigan U t-shirt, so he tells her it only cost him 40 cents in a thrift store...and instead of just leaving it at that, prattles needlessly about all he's doing to avoid the high cost of vintage clothing. Lauren reacts by staring back at him with an expression of what I can only describe as spiritless dismay.
When Heidi returns home, she reports to Spencer - who looks as though he's been lounging on the couch all day, tapping away on his laptop - that there's an opening for an Events Director at Bolthouse. Spencer mumblingly describes the opportunity as "very legit", and Heidi adds that Elodie seems to have her heart set on the job. Spencer decrees, "You beyond deserve it", urges her to stir up whatever contrived sort of Hills drama it's going to take to get the job, and promises that he'll help her in any way he can [from the comfort of his permanent loafing spot on the living room couch].
Lauren and Audrina arrive at Lola's and warmly greet Jarett and Derek. Lauren idly asks Derek why he's wearing a Michigan U t-shirt, so he tells her it only cost him 40 cents in a thrift store...and instead of just leaving it at that, prattles needlessly about all he's doing to avoid the high cost of vintage clothing. Lauren reacts by staring back at him with an expression of what I can only describe as spiritless dismay.
"Wanna hear how I can outfit myself for a night on the town for a dollar?"
"Check please!"
Later, at Les Deux, Derek fawningly tells Lauren he likes her more than any other girl he's ever known, and she shoots him a the fuck? look and laughingly retorts, "No you don't!" He suggests that, yeah, he may possibly be psychotic - but when Lauren shoots him another the fuck? look, he hastily back pedals on that and tells her he once dated a girl for seven years and emerged from it with no relationship issues. A skeptical Lauren shares that she just got out of a one year relationship and has all sorts of relationship issues, and Derek replies, "That's your problem", to which Lauren responds by shooting him the third and final the fuck? look of the evening. She beats a hasty retreat to the ladies room with Audrina...and once they're out earshot, Derek tells Jarett he's [so clueless about how fully turned off Lauren is by him and is] ready to propose. Over in the ladies room, Lauren complains to Audrina that the hopeless dork is under the strange illusion that she likes him, and that she's never wanted to stab herself in the eye more while out on a date. When she returns to the table, she makes it a point to sit as far away from Derek as possible...and he decides 'I haven't got much to lose in terms of reappearing on The Hills as Lauren's potential love interest' and reacts to the snub by sticking out his tongue at her.
The next day in the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren tells Whitney about the "brutal" double date she went on with Audrina, and that she was utterly incredulous when Derek told her that he likes her more than any other girl he's ever met. Whitney clucks sympathetically and says that any guy who's lucky enough to make a guest appearance on The Hills should know to not come off so desperately, then reminds Lauren that not every boy she she meets is going to be her Prince Charming.
Heidi meets with Brent behind closed doors to announce that she'd like him to consider pretending to promote her to Events Director...and Brent pretends to mull that over, says it's going to be a team decision, and that Elodie's interest in the job will be a major factor. When he warns that becoming [a faux] Events Director means having a lot more [non-existent] responsibilities, Heidi insists that she's up to the task...and Brent does his best to assure her that he's going to give this scripted-for-reality-TV request some deeply serious thought.
The next day in the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren tells Whitney about the "brutal" double date she went on with Audrina, and that she was utterly incredulous when Derek told her that he likes her more than any other girl he's ever met. Whitney clucks sympathetically and says that any guy who's lucky enough to make a guest appearance on The Hills should know to not come off so desperately, then reminds Lauren that not every boy she she meets is going to be her Prince Charming.
Heidi meets with Brent behind closed doors to announce that she'd like him to consider pretending to promote her to Events Director...and Brent pretends to mull that over, says it's going to be a team decision, and that Elodie's interest in the job will be a major factor. When he warns that becoming [a faux] Events Director means having a lot more [non-existent] responsibilities, Heidi insists that she's up to the task...and Brent does his best to assure her that he's going to give this scripted-for-reality-TV request some deeply serious thought.
"I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for a pretend promotion."
"OK, wow - you've given me a lot to not really have to consider."
Lauren is chillin' at Hillside Villas with Audrina and Lo when Jason calls to say hey to Lauren and confirm their get together. After that, the gals sit down to eat...and Audrina pulls out a book containing a love quiz and throws out the question: how many times have you been madly in love? Lauren reveals that so far she's been in love in the madly sense just once in her life: with Jason...incomprehensibly enough.
The next day, Lauren and Audrina are laying poolside when Lauren gets a voicemail message from Derek, who invites her out for drinks. She laughingly says, "Negative", then tells Audrina she has zero interest in spending any more time with that halfwit. Audrina then reports that when she finally agreed to take Justin's calls, he apologized for his shitty boorishness, and Lauren says she [sort of, but meh] gets that she wants to be in a relationship with the disheveled bad boy - but points out that he's only capable of behaving like a normal human being some of the time, and that "you can't just like who half a person is".
After getting the pretend promotion, Heidi arrives in her new office and soon comes face-to-face with Elodie, a non-actor who does her best to appear deeply pissed off as she brusquely says, "Good for you" and tells Heidi she hopes she appreciates the new job as much as she would have. Heidi thanks her for her graciousness, then scrunches her face sympathetically and says that this contrived drama, entirely concocted by The Hills producers, wasn't personal...and Elodie's all, "Uh huh" before wandering off, her eyes widened in faux disbelief.
The next day, Lauren and Audrina are laying poolside when Lauren gets a voicemail message from Derek, who invites her out for drinks. She laughingly says, "Negative", then tells Audrina she has zero interest in spending any more time with that halfwit. Audrina then reports that when she finally agreed to take Justin's calls, he apologized for his shitty boorishness, and Lauren says she [sort of, but meh] gets that she wants to be in a relationship with the disheveled bad boy - but points out that he's only capable of behaving like a normal human being some of the time, and that "you can't just like who half a person is".
After getting the pretend promotion, Heidi arrives in her new office and soon comes face-to-face with Elodie, a non-actor who does her best to appear deeply pissed off as she brusquely says, "Good for you" and tells Heidi she hopes she appreciates the new job as much as she would have. Heidi thanks her for her graciousness, then scrunches her face sympathetically and says that this contrived drama, entirely concocted by The Hills producers, wasn't personal...and Elodie's all, "Uh huh" before wandering off, her eyes widened in faux disbelief.
"How do you like my new pretend office?"
"About as much as I like having to express as much faux disdain as I can muster."
Audrina and Justin are hanging out at the beach before they climb atop his motorcycle and ride off together.
Lauren meets up with Jason at a coffee house, gives him a warm hello hug, and returns a pair of his sunglasses that she found in her car. He remarks on how weird and abrupt their breakup was, and she concurs and then explains that she needed a clean break from him...but knew that eventually they'd be friends again. He admits to having gotten out of control with his self destructive tendencies, and they both stare mutely at each other before the end credits begin to roll.
Lauren meets up with Jason at a coffee house, gives him a warm hello hug, and returns a pair of his sunglasses that she found in her car. He remarks on how weird and abrupt their breakup was, and she concurs and then explains that she needed a clean break from him...but knew that eventually they'd be friends again. He admits to having gotten out of control with his self destructive tendencies, and they both stare mutely at each other before the end credits begin to roll.
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