The Hills - Season 3, Episode 9
Recap: Lauren and Audrina are about to jet to Vegas to surprise Brody on the eve of his twenty-fourth birthday. Audrina says that Justin is going to meet them at the airport...and when Lauren asks if he's OK being the only guy in their travel group, Audrina breezily says it'll all be fine 'cause he's with her. In response, Lauren chortles, "Should be interesting." That it should, Lauren. That it should.
Spencer reminds Heidi that they'll be celebrating their one year anniversary this weekend, and will do so by luxuriating at a spa, then chowing down on some Mexican food at Don Antonio's. He jokes about wanting to tell his parents about their wedding after it's happened, but Heidi scrunches her face disapprovingly and says she's not going to be "that girl". Spencer gushes about how anyone would be thrilled to have her as their daughter-in-law, and then the two toast the joyousness of spending the last twelve months of their lives with each other.
Lauren, Audrina, Lo, and Jill arrive at LAX and chuckle over the sight of Justin with his travel bag and guitar. As Audrina greets him hello, Lo wonders aloud if the disheveled dipshit is even going to say hi to them. As the gals check in their bags, they ask Justin if he's going to serenade them with his guitar...but when he seems to reply to that by staring broodily into space, they take that as a hard no.
At the Palms Hotel, Brody is chillin' in his suite with Frankie and Taylor, anticipating the fun weekend ahead. When there's a knock on the door, Brody rushes to answer it and woots happily when Lauren et. al. tumble into the suite while shrieking, "Surprise! Happy birthday!" After everyone greets one another with hugs and hellos, Lauren raises her drink and cheerily toasts Brody's birthday...and Justin gets called out for guzzling his drink instead of waiting until after everyone has clinked glasses.
Over at Bolthouse, Elodie is trash-talking Heidi with Michelle (the Executive Assistant) and expressing her deep dismay at being passed over for a promotion so that Heidi could be installed in the fancy white office as the new Events Director. She informs Michelle that she gave Brent her notice 'cause 1) she's fed up with The Whole Heidi Situation, and 2) is ready to take the next step in her event-planning career. As Michelle's all, "Wha-a-a-a?", Elodie confirms that today is her last day at Bolthouse - just as Heidi "arrives for work" and sashays over to her office.
Brent checks in with Heidi regarding tomorrow night's big event, and she assures him that everything's all set - except for a tiny wrinkle: tomorrow is her anniversary. When Brent just stares back at her blankly for several seconds, she asks him if it's OK to ask someone else to cover for her, and he says he doesn't much care who covers the event, as long as there's a deliberate miscommunication that stirs up some contrived drama that the MTV camera crew can capture on film. Elodie, who's been eavesdropping on the conversation, shakes her head in utter incredulity.
After the commercial break, Heidi wanders over to Elodie's workstation to ask if everything's on track for tomorrow's big event, as well as to share that it's her anniversary and then pause so that Elodie can ask if she'd like her to fill in at the last minute. Heidi's like, "Er, yeah..?" ... and when Elodie snappishly retorts, "Sure. Anything for you", Heidi either ignores or fails to detect the brazen sarcasm and reminds her that it's just business and nothing personal. Elodie says she couldn't agree more, wishes Heidi a wonderful anniversary, and smirks to herself as Heidi sashays back to her office.
In their hotel room, Lo tells Lauren that Justin hasn't said a single word to any of them, and Lauren says she sort of gets why 'cause she admittedly wasn't very nice to him during the genesis of the 'should we call you Justin-Bobby?' mockery. Lo then places the first bet of the weekend: the first person to make Justin crack a smile wins [not sure what].
At the hotel bar, Brody thanks everyone for coming all the way to Vegas to celebrate his birthday. After Justin and Audrina make their grand entrance, Jill tells Justin they bought him a shot, but the edited footage makes it look as though he reacts to that extended olive branch by ignoring her and then sticking out his tongue at the shot. Jill and/or Lo complain to Lauren, "He, like, won't even talk to us", but Lauren decides that she's just not up for any Justin-Bobby-related drama and instead directs all of her attention on gushing at Brody for the grand achievement of turning twenty-four.
Later, Frankie tells Lauren he thinks that she and Brody should hook up 'cause they make such a super fun couple - but Lauren insists that being non-platonic doesn't work for them, and that they get along better when they remain friends. A few seconds later, Lo lounges about in a way that reveals her cooch to everyone in her vicinity, prompting laugher from Brody and Lauren to blushingly remark, "I just saw Lo's Britney."
The next morning, Brody tells Taylor and Frankie they were out of their minds last night, and Frankie urges him to rest up 'cause they're gonna have to do it all over again tonight. He then urges Brody to consider hooking-up with Lauren, but Brody echos Lauren's official position that they're better off as friends. Frankie says he loooooves the idea of his two best friends dating...and Taylor looks faux confused as he asks, "Me and Brody?", prompting the three men to burst out laughing.
Lauren, Lo, and Jill are hanging poolside, wondering why Audrina is MIA in this scene. Lo says she's still miffed that they bought Justin a drink, a gesture which went completely unacknowledged...and Lauren suggests that maybe he feels awkward about having to hang out with a clique he knows thinks he's a rude doofus. Lo swiftly changes the subject to Brody and encourages Lauren to tap that, given that Jason is pretty much permanently off The Hills - but Lauren insists once again that she and the Brode-ster are strictly friends.
That evening, the posse heads over to Pure Nightclub, where Lauren gives Brody a not-so-platonic-looking birthday kiss, and Lo and Frankie make out, which...um, OK.
At Don Antonio's, Heidi is touched when she sees that Spencer has arranged for their favorite table to be decorated with romantic candles. She then coos about how happy she is that she was able to shamelessly rope Elodie into covering tonight's Bolthouse event, freeing her up to dine on enchiladas by candle-light with her beloved.
Back in Vegas, the gals are lounging atop a rotating bed when Lo comes right out and tells Audrina, "Justin haaaaaates us", and complains that he refuses to give them the time of day, despite all their efforts to be nice to him. Audrina nonsensically mumbles that her and Justin's dysfunction is none of anyone else's business and that he's loathe to open up to people he doesn't know, to which Lo bitchily retorts, "He could at least respond when we say hi." Audrina scrunches her face pissily as she sarcastically counters, "OK, I'll blow him off and never talk to him again just to make you guys happy" ... and while she's saying that, Lauren is staring over at her with a heavily dismayed the fuck? expression before announcing that she's storming off to hang elsewhere. Audrina gets upset by the hasty exit and screeches, "You know what? I'm done!" and snarks at Lo that she gets that they don't like Justin.
Over at Don Antonio's, Heidi is waxing on to Spencer about the relaxing day she had at the spa, and and the romantic dinner she's currently enjoying...but a few seconds later, she gets a frantic call from Michelle, who informs her that tonight's big Bolthouse event is a mess and that she needs to get there asap. Heidi scrunches her face in faux puzzlement and asks, "Is Elodie there?" and Michelle informs her that Elodie quit yesterday...prompting Heidi to be all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" before promising to rush over and solve whatever made up crisis they're pretending is currently unfolding. Spencer, meanwhile, is staring unhappily at Heidi, so she reminds him that she just got this promotion and is therefore responsible for putting out any fires. She meekly coos, "I love you", and he sullenly retorts, "No you don't", but then gets up and hightails it with her towards the exit.
Lauren tells Brody she's annoyed by all the Justin drama this episode, and Brody assures her that while Justin has no issues with her, he does have a tiny problem with Lo. Lauren rolls her eyes and says that the big crime Lo committed was calling him Justin-Bobby, and Brody's like, "Hey, don't shoot the messenger" and says he's simply making an effort to see everyone's side. Lauren says she's frustrated that every time they argue, it's an argument two entirely different people should be having - but Brody insists that he's not so much arguing as he is discussing, then suggests they just shut up and cuddle. Lauren obliges, mutters that he's a jerk for standing up for people who don't deserve it...and Brody explains that he actually likes Justin and has a general policy to always try to see all sides of an argument. Lauren seems satisfied enough with that response and leans toward him for a smooch and some platonic (?) canoodling.
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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