Recap: Jason and Lauren are hanging at a patio restaurant, engaged in their usual banal chit-chat, when he suddenly informs her that he really really wants her to meet his girlfriend and future roommate, Katja. As he murmurs, "She's so cool", a stunned looking Lauren shakes her head in dismay and looks less than thrilled at the prospect of meeting her ex's new plus one...but when he asks her if she'd like to come to his housewarming party to meet his beloved, she amiably tells him she'd loooooove to.
The next day at Hillside Villas, Lauren reports to Audrina that..
Over at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love is giving Whitney some last minute instructions regarding the upcoming photoshoot with the band, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. She warns that it's a huge shoot, that bands - even the ones no one's heard of yet - are notoriously difficult to deal with, and that if anything goes wrong, it's her ass. Lisa advises her to take Lauren along to help out with the grunt work, then emphasizes that as a paid Fashion Contributor, she's responsible for whatever problems may arise, and to ensure that everyone associated with the shoot behaves according to the Teen Vogue rules of order. Whitney does her best to not look daunted by the pressure that's being put upon her and assures Lisa that she's totally up to the task (sort of).
Heidi takes Jen with her to a bridal shop to look at wedding gowns. She tries on a fairly plain looking one, and Jen coos about how pretty she looks - but then asks if she really, absolutely, 100% thinks that marrying a bonehead like Spencer when they're both in their early twenties is truly the wisest decision she could be making. She adds that she finds the notion of marriage at this age scary 'cause of how easy it is for twentysomethings to fall out of love - but Heidi explains that she's of a completely different frame of mind and can't picture her life without Spencer on account of him being her soulmate and all. Jen's like, "Uh huh" and continues to insist that marriage is scary, as was evidenced when her good friend recently broke up with her boyfriend of five years.
Whitney and Lauren arrive at the Magic Castle Hotel for a preliminary jean fitting with the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus band members. They ask for their sizes and hand out the pairs of jeans...and one of the band members, Elias Reidy, proudly boasts that he wears a ladies size 8. As that weird revelation just kind of hangs there like a lead balloon, the other band members ask the gals what they're doing tonight, and they all decide they should hang out together at a local dive bar. On their way back to the car, Whitney tells Lauren she hopes this doesn't prove to be a bad idea...'cause what could go wrong with them binge-drinking with the band the night before what Lisa had sternly reminded her was a "huge" Teen Vogue photoshoot?
Lauren, Whitney, and Audrina arrive at the Dime later that evening and meet up with Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. When the guys order a round of shots, Whitney half-heartedly reminds them that they have a photoshoot early in the morning and doesn't think that getting recklessly hammered is such a good idea - but when the shots arrive, she chirps, "I hope I don't get wasted!" and throws one back. LOL. One of the band members asks Whitney where they're clubbing after this, and she says the prudent thing to do would be for all of them to retire early so that they'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the photoshoot - but he's just like, "Nah, we're definitely partying all night long" and tells The Hills gals they're more than welcome to join their drunkfest.
The next morning at Hillside Villas, a hungover Lauren staggers into the living room and tells Audrina she's worried that Whitney might get into trouble if the band is too hungover from all of the drunken partying (that she and Whitney fully enabled) to show up at the photoshoot on time. She then changes the subject to Jason's housewarming party and says it's going to be awkward to meet Katja, but that she'll do her best to be as pleasant as possible to her...and Audrina remarks again that she can't believe Jason and his brand new girlfriend are actually moving in together.
Photoshoot! As a bleary-eyed Lauren does her best to not throw up, Whitney hopes to hell she doesn't get blowback for keeping the band out so late...and when the stylist remarks on how they haven't arrived yet, she (Whitney) wonders if maybe they had car trouble. When they finally do arrive, she brings over their wardrobe items - but Elias Reidy digs in about his strong preference for his size 8 ladies pants, and Whitney paces around while looking hopeless to convince him otherwise [even though he apparently wasn't as big of a dick off-camera about wearing the Teen Vogue-mandated jeans]. Later, Whitney laments to Lauren about how Lisa Love is surely going to chastise her for how shittily she's running this shoot, and mimics Lisa declaring that she has no future in the fashion industry.
As part of wedding planning, Heidi and Spencer stop in at a housewares store to register. While Heidi scans various plates and glassware, Spencer looks visibly bored and says he finds it weird to ask their friends to buy them the kind of kitchen stuff they already have. Fair point.
Housewarming party! Lauren and Audrina arrive, hug Jason hello, and are introduced to his girlfriend Katja. Jason brazenly smooches Katja for several minutes before bounding back over to Lauren and asking her if she's OK. She assures him she is, and is sipping from a red cup of beer when two of Jason's guests yell at everyone to shut the fuck up so they can announce the exciting news: Jason and Katja have just gotten engaged! As everyone woots happily, Lauren gives Audrina a the fuck? look as she raises her plastic cup of beer as a toast before snarling, "Is it bad that I really want to leave?" ... and the MTV camera crew's like, "Nice try, but after this announcement we're gonna need footage that documents your shocked and dismayed reaction."
Lauren goes outside for some air, and Jason follows her and asks whassup with her gloomy aura and says, "I know you don't like her" ... which was entirely nonsensical, given that Lauren's known Katja for all of five minutes. Lauren comes right out and tells him she strongly feels he's an idiot, in this case for wanting to get married at such a ridiculously young age, and adds that she just can't bring herself to be happy for him. A few seconds later, Katja wanders over, asks Jason, "Having fun baby?", and stands between him and Lauren, who looks more desperate than ever to flee this keg housewarming-turned-engagement party.
The next morning at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love asks Whitney how the photoshoot went, and specifically asks why the band showed up so late. Whitney admits that she, her pals, and the MTV camera crew had gone out with the band the night before in an effort to get to know them and make them feel comfortable while in L.A. ... then pretends to be clueless about any possible connection between the binge-drinking they all indulged in until the wee hours of the morning and the band's tardiness on the day of the shoot. Lisa chides her for socializing with the band, says "That's beyond your job", and makes it clear that Teen Vogue frowns on that sort of thing. She brusquely adds, "I just want respect on every shoot that we do" and points out that it's kinda hard for the band to respect them if they've been out clubbing the night before. A chastened Whitney apologizes for the misstep, and Lisa tells her she's gonna need to "step it up" and get it through her thick skull that anytime anything ever goes wrong on a photoshoot it's solely her responsibility.
While dining on the patio of a restaurant, Heidi brings up the topic of wedding planning to Spencer, and he agrees that they "need to look at some calendars" - even though just one would suffice - then suggests that a Tibet wedding might be kewl. Heidi makes a face and says she doesn't want that, and would prefer something more local that includes all the basic traditions: registering at an expensive store, wearing a frothy overpriced gown, and exchanging vows inside a fancy church. She asks him what his parents would think about not being present at their Tibetan wedding, and Spencer admits that he hasn't actually mentioned their impending nuptials to either of his parents. A dismayed Heidi asks him why not and suggests he's embarrassed...and he's like, "Why would I be embarrassed?" - but doesn't explain anything further as the two spend the last few seconds of this scene mutely staring at each other.
While grabbing a bite after work, Whitney tells Lauren she just got an ass-whooping by Lisa Love, and that she's going to have to do a much better job at the next photoshoot. She then notices Lauren's dazed demeanour and asks her whassup, so Lauren tells her that Jason just got engaged to his new girlfriend at a keg party, which was really hard to take seriously...and that she'd be sooooo depressed if this was the sad story of her engagement. She points out that Jason shouldn't even really be dating anyone 'cause he's still in the process of being rehabbed, then worries about what'll happen if this relationship falls apart and someone has to help pick up the pieces. Whitney urges her to let him do that for himself, 'cause 1) he's a grown-ass man who stupidly leaped into this thing head-first and should just suck up the consequences, and 2) it ain't Lauren's job to pick up the pieces of any of her ex-boyfriend's lives. Lauren concurs, then says it's clear that she really dodged a bullet when she dumped Jason after Season 1...and realizes that if she hadn't, she might be the one who just celebrated her engagement at a keg housewarming-turned-engagement party.
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