The Hills - Season 3, Episode 14
Recap: Lisa Love drops by the Teen Vogue closet office to deliver tickets for Lauren and Whitney to attend the Declare Yourself/Power of the Vote event and tells them she'd like them to "cover it" for the magazine. Once she's out of earshot, the two do a quick online search to browse the guest list and notice that Brent Bolthouse is a member of the advisory board. Whitney wonders aloud if this means that Heidi will be in attendance...and when Lauren's all, "Ugh", Whitney assures her that if they do end up coming face-to-face with Heidi, which seems more than likely, they'll handle the situation accordingly.
Over at Bolthouse, Heidi runs into Kimberly in the staff room...and when she learns that Brent gave them both tickets to Declare Yourself, she suggests they go together.
That evening, Lauren and Whitney arrive at the Declare Yourself venue and remark on how relieved they are to finally be able to relax, mingle, and check out all the cute guys in attendance. Not sure how this fulfills Lisa's edict to "cover" the event for Teen Vogue, but OK. A few seconds later, Heidi and Kimberly arrive and gush about how amaaaaazing it is to be at this event, then sashay inside the building.
Whitney asks Lauren why Audrina isn't in this scene, so Lauren points out that Lisa only gave them two tickets to the event - plus, she's currently on a date with Justin...and Whitney reacts to the mention of the Disheveled Dolt by wincing.
Audrina and Justin arrive at a drinking hole by motorcycle, and I notice that he's now being billed as her boyfriend. After the two seat themselves at the bar, Audrina tells him about how she just got a pretend promotion at Epic Records and now gets to sit in her own cubicle and interact with artists - like, for example, Sean Kingston when he performs on Jimmy Kimmel later this episode. She adds that she's a little nervous 'cause she wants to take this opportunity to really prove herself, and Justin responds by loudly belching and then chortling at his boorishness. Audrina shoots him a grossed-out side-eye - but then, for some God-only-knows-why reason, asks him if he'd like to meet up with her tomorrow night after she's done work. He says he would, then lets out another long belch and accompanying chortle. How any breathing female could be even the slightest bit enamored of this halfwitted buffoon defies all logic.
Over at Declare Yourself, Whitney notices Heidi and Kimberly wandering in their general direction. Whitney alerts Lauren, then asks if this is horrible for her - but Lauren just shrugs, 'cause whaddya gonna do when The Hills camera crew has been tasked with filming a tantalizing confrontation between two former friends? Heidi motions over at her ex-BFF and tells Kimberly she wants to try to make nice with her...but when she sashays over and casually says hey, Lauren stares at her incredulously before saying, "If you want to apologize to me, I'll talk to you." Heidi argues that she didn't actually do anything that warrants an apology, so Lauren snidely counters, "Having your boyfriend do your dirty work doesn't make you innocent." Heidi insists that she had nothing to do with falsely spreading whatever unholy things she and Jason were doing during the filming of their non-existent sex tape, and Lauren responds by snarling about what a bad person she is. Heidi gives up on the conversation, wearily says, "Have a great night", and saunters off with Kimberly while Whitney and Lauren exchange ack! glances.
The next day at Hillside Villas, Lauren tells Audrina that she ran into Heidi...then recaps the entire exchange, and expresses how completely incredulous she is that Heidi tried to pretend as though everything is normal. Audrina looks visibly shocked by this latest development, then says she's working with Sean Kingston today and should probably go get ready now.
Audrina and Chiara are at the Jimmy Kimmel studio with Sean Kingston as he does his sound check. Audrina tells Chiara that she doubts they're going to get outa here in time for her 7pm date with Justin...and when she floats the idea of inviting him to come to the taping, Chiara advises against it and points out that she's at work. Audrina's like, "Yeah, but I still wanna", and Chiara's like, "Please shut up about wanting to call Justin and have a 'come to Jesus' moment about how you could do miles better than that socially stunted cockwomble." Sorry, no...that was me, projecting.
Lauren arrives for work in the Teen Vogue closet office and discusses with Whitney the eventful night they had at the Declare Yourself event. Lauren checks her computer and suddenly exclaims, "Seriously?!", then explains to Whitney that Heidi is on her "freakin' IM". Heidi and Lauren exchange IMs about meeting up in person later at Hillside Villas, and Whitney says it's prolly a good idea to get an on-camera face-to-face confrontation over with asap.
Backstage at Jimmy Kimmel, Audrina and Chiara are hanging with Sean Kingston, who's giving them a quick tutorial on the proper lingo one needs to know when becoming famous in the music industry ('I'm poppin' and whatnot). Audrina and Chiara are then given the cue to leave...and they exit the building, happy about how the day went. Audrina says she's newly tempted to call Justin, and Chiara's all, "Noooooo!!" and shrieks aloud in frustration. LOL.
Heidi arrives home and finds Spencer reading the iChat between her and Lauren, calling it "the craziest iChat I've ever read". Heidi explains that she wants to clear the air with Lauren 'cause life's too short to carry around so much anger and hatred...and Spencer scrunches his face in befuddlement at that notion and urges caution as she heads "into the lion's den".
At Epic Records, Chiara brings a big bouquet of flowers to the cubical farm and tells Audrina that Sean Kingston sent them as a thank you for their hard work during his Jimmy Kimmel appearance. Audrina gushes about how well that assignment went, and about how much she looooooves having her own cubicle and working directly with artists.
Heidi arrives at Lauren's apartment with a peace offering of yellow flowers, and compliments her general tidiness. She then apologizes about the other night and all of the "he said she said" stuff that's been going on this season. She swears that she had nothing to do with starting a rumor about the non-existent sex tape...and when Lauren stonily asks her if Spencer did, she pretends to have no idea. Lauren accuses her of lying, so Heidi says she can't control Spencer, who she's well aware isn't an angel, and apologizes on his behalf - 'cause, duh, there's really no more likely suspect than Spencer for the genesis of sex tape-gate. Lauren says the fallout of that rumor was horrible enough to make her want to commit suicide, then asks Heidi why in blazes she'd want to spend her life with someone who could do such a hateful thing. Heidi declares, "I loooove Spencer" and an incensed Lauren says she really must, in order to stick by him through all this...then says she truly appreciates her apology - but figures that, at this point, the only thing she can do is forgive and forget, pronouncing, "I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you." Heidi looks crestfallen for a few seconds, then gets up and ambles towards the door as she wishes Lauren a great life.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Leave a Reply.
THE HILLS HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French
Your contributions help keep the site ad-free
Television of Yore
Snide recaps of television's most entertaining classics