The Hills - Season 3, Episode 15
Recap: While out for breakfast, Heidi tells Spencer she wants them to set a date for their wedding, and he translates that to mean she's totally up for eloping to Cabo San Lucas. Heidi scrunches her face in annoyance, gives that suggestion a hard no, and reminds him that she's made it abundantly clear that she wants to have a traditional wedding in a California church. She says she thought that guys generally didn't care about wedding planning details...and Spencer says he doesn't, and that she should just tell him when and where to show up, and to keep her fingers crossed that he's wearing a nice suit.
Lauren, Audrina, and Whitney are at the gym, working out under the supervision of Jarett the Chatty Trainer. The gals discuss their evening plans to go out to a sports bar named Big Wings...and for some God-only-knows-why reason, Whitney invites Jarett to tag along, and he looks delighted at being included.
While getting a post-workout bite at the Elixir Cafe, Whitney coos to Lauren and Audrina about how nice she thinks Jarett is, and about how excited she is to be jumping back into the dating pool.
Heidi and Spencer arrive at Westminster Presbyterian Church, aka a venue prospect for their wedding. They're greeted by Pastor Martha Campbell, who briefly describes their various services: marriage counselling, flower options, and music selection. Heidi looks totes into all that while Spencer grimaces, most notably at the mention of marriage counselling. Martha advises them to book the church six months prior to their wedding date and then leaves the two to discuss in private...and Heidi gushes about how this church is perrrrrfect, while a less-than-thrilled looking Spencer's all, "Meh, I could take it or leave it."
Whitney, Lauren, and Audrina are primping for their night out at Big Wings. Lauren marvels at Whitney's seemingly bizarre ensemble of a pink lingerie dress, tights, and moccasins...and how she's somehow able to make that combination work and look fantastic. As the three head out, Whitney gushes about how excited she is to hang with Jarett...and her unabating enthusiasm about this chatty guy makes me think of his presence on The Hills as something akin to a contrived product placement that, for reasons unknown, was decreed by the producers.
The three arrive at Big Wings...and soon Jarett invites Whitney to shoot pool, while Lauren and Audrina chuckle about how cute they are together. As Lauren gives the twosome a thumbs up, Jarett asks Whitney if she's interested in a one-on-one with him in Runyon Canyon for a training session that'll "really kick your ass", and Whitney says she's totally into the idea and that she can't wait to break a sweat with him asap.
The next day, Whitney and Jarett arrive at Runyon Canyon Park...and make it all the way to the top - with a great view of the Hollywood sign - where he instructs her to do some jumping jacks and punching exercises. He then puts on the cheese as he natters in his nattery way about her "mean punch", faux fear about "messing" with her, and asks whether or not she has a lot of guys after her...and then invites her out for drinks later. Whitney somehow decides 'yep, I'd like to spend even more of my time listening to whatever oozes out of this guy's mouth' and eagerly accepts his invitation.
Heidi is thumbing through various bridal magazines as she tells Spencer she wants to be a tiara-wearing bride and is also soooo excited about the catering. LOL. Spencer grumbles about all the bridal magazines strewn about and asks her why she has to spend this much time researching a one day event, then remarks on how craaaaazy it is that he's getting married in his early twenties. No argument there.
In the Teen Vogue closet office, Whitney tells Lauren that Jarett asked her out on a real date. Lauren cackles, "He hearts you", and Whitney says she doesn't know 'bout that, but does know that first dates can be really uncomfortable.
That evening, Whitney and Jarett arrive at La Cantina for their uncomfortable date. They toast to having fun, after which Jarett babbles about what her astrological sign means, and that his ambition in life is to become a trainer to the stars. He then natters about how he just got out of a relationship and is really just interested in having fun...and adds that his fun objective is precisely why he asked her out: two single people having fun. Fantastic. Shut up now, Jarett.
Heidi arrives home to find Spencer waiting for her with their bags packed. When she's all 'whaddup with the packed bags?', he excitedly says they're going on an adventure, which entails jetting off to Vegas for a quickie wedding. A deflated looking Heidi says she hopes he's kidding, and that her idea of a wedding is something that happens in a church in front of family and friends. She wearily tells him she doesn't get how he refuses to care about how she feels about this, and is sick of having a stupid surprise sprung on her every time she comes home. Spencer grumbles about what a hassle wedding planning is, so she grumbles back that if she's too much of a hassle, he can take his ginormous purple "engagement" ring back to the cubic zirconia factory he found it in. She takes off the monstrosity, puts it on the coffee table, and ambles to the bedroom...and Spencer stares at it for a few seconds before grabbing his suitcase and exiting the apartment.
At Bolthouse the next day, Heidi tells Kimberly she got into a huge fight with Spencer about his desire to elope...and that he stormed out of the apartment and hasn't been seen since. She wonders aloud how they're supposed to figure out their lives together if he continues to act like such a controlling, out-of-touch assbag, and Kimberly just kind of winces and uselessly advises them to put "everything on the table" before murmuring, "Sorry.."
While chillin' in a cafe, Whitney tells Lauren about her date with Jarett, and that she got a distinctive friend vibe from him. [Consider it a bullet dodged, Whit.] She adds that it did feel good to get out there again - despite the fact that no kissing happened...and the two chuckle over how awkward it can be when an oblivious guy leans in for an unwanted smooch.
Heidi is in her kitchen, unpacking groceries, when Spencer returns home. He tells her he slept at his parents' place last night, then gives her a bouquet of roses and apologizes for being so douchey about wedding planning. He says he's amenable to doing whatever makes her happy, promises to not spring anymore surprises on her, and urges her to resume wearing her purple ring. Heidi accepts his apologies, thanks him for the pretty flowers, and gives him a welcome home hug.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Leave a Reply.
THE HILLS HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French
Your contributions help keep the site ad-free
Television of Yore
Snide recaps of television's most entertaining classics