Dynasty - Season 6, Episode 3

"Just think of a nose job as a minor facial adjustment."

"The Californians"
Original airdate: 10/9/1985

Episode summary: Charlton Heston seeks to join forces with Blake to build an oil pipeline. George Hamilton tries to sweet talk Rita into getting a nose job to more closely resemble Krystle. Alexis is determined to rescue King Galen from his Moldavian captors.

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Recap: Jeff is tossing and turning in bed, dreaming about the contrived car accident that took place on the rainy evening of the Season 4 finale that ultimately led to Fallon's disappearance. When a panicked Fallon yells, "Jeff!", he wakes up with a start, sits up in bed, and contorts his face into a tortured expression.

At breakfast, Jeff tells Blake he's jetting to California this afternoon to launch Operation Look for Fallon Again, and Blake asks him to please hold off on that until after he's met with Justin Dehner, the crackpot psychic he hired in Season 3 to roam around Carrington manor, touch Steven's things, and try to feel out whether he was alive or dead. When Jeff says he's skeptical of going the psychic route, Blake urges him to give this stupid idea a chance.

Krystle asks Jeff why he's putting himself through the torture of searching for Fallon a full season after her disappearance, so he tells her he's convinced that Fallon is the woman in the crowd photo that Lady Ashley took. Krystle says that that's unlikely and that she strongly believes that Fallon is dead - but Jeff tells her he feels compelled to search for her 'cause his life doesn't have much meaning without her.  

Over at the penthouse, the camera pans over clothing that has been sexily strewn about the bedroom...and we see that Alexis and Dex are in bed, basking in the afterglow of a post-coitus canoodle. As Dex lights up a cigarette and coos about how sexsational the romp was, Alexis asks him to elaborate on his rescue missions and tells him how super turned on she is by the kind of big-dicked machismo it has to take to sneak into the world's hotspots and perform such daring exfiltrations. A flattered looking Dex tells her that the missions depend largely on a thorough planning process with established underground networks, and Alexis chews on that for a few seconds and asks if he knows of any such underground network in Moldavia. Dex gets irked by her obsession in freeing her Moldavian ex-boyfriend and tells her that King Galen is probably being tortured by his captors, then ghoulishly taunts her by speculating that he could also be dead with maggots eating out his eyes. As he angrily pulls his clothes on, he makes it clear that he has no intention of ever rescuing Galen, and Alexis poutishly asks, "Why not?" and points out that working on the rescue together could be a marriage-building team effort. When Dex dismisses the idea as ridiculous, Alexis accuses him of being jealous of her friendship with the king and urges him to come back to bed. Dex snarls back that he doesn't appreciate being treated like a sex object that she uses whenever the whim strikes, then buttons his shirt while leaving enough of it undone so he can continue showcasing his ape-ishly hairy man chest, and stomps out of the bedroom. 

"I resent being treated like a boy toy who's expected to serve your every whim."

"What nonsense. Anyway, let me know when you're done planning Galen's rescue and I'll put out for another afternoon romp."

Hollywood heavyweight Charlton Heston, aka deceased Cecil Colby's brother, is on his Malibu estate, staring out at the ocean. A few minutes later, he arranges for a call to be placed to Blake, who reacts by snarking at Charlton Heston that he's not interested in anything he has to say after his part in some boring sounding oil lease kerfuffle that involved his brother Ben. Charlton Heston tells Blake that his beef is mostly with his brother, and that he'd like to discuss a lucrative deal that would greatly benefit Denver Carrington - but Blake growls, "I'm not interested" and hangs up. A few seconds later, Charlton Heston's doctor makes a house call to solemnly inform him that his test results were not good - meaning really really bad - and that he should get his affairs in order asap. Charlton Heston mutters, "Damn.." then throws the apple he's snacking on at the ocean. He asks the doctor how much time he has left, and the doctor just shrugs and is all, "Dunno", then adds that it's probably not much. After he slinks off, Charlton Heston picks up the phone and makes arrangements to fly to Denver, then orders one of his flunkies to gather as much research as possible on Ben Carrington.

Blake, meanwhile, opens an old wooden case, pulls out a black and white photo of his mother, and angrily wonders aloud how Ben could have done whatever terrible thing hasn't yet been revealed to viewers.

Charlton Heston drops in on his sister, played by fellow Hollywood heavyweight Barbara Stanwyck, to share his grim prognosis, and then asks her to keep it to herself so he can focus all of his energy on getting the new pipeline project underway. He adds that it's something he'd really like to leave as a legacy/challenge to his children - in particular his hopeless fucktard of a son, Miles. Barbara Stanwyck laments the way Cecil was cut out of the will all those years ago and contemplates what might have been if [their other sibling] Philip have lived and says he'd be sooooo proud of his son, who appears to have made something of his life. When she later stares at a wooden toy soldier and mutters, "Oh Jeff.." I guess we can safely assume that Jeff Colby is the son to which she was referring.

​Blake is in the nursery, cuddling Kristina, when Krystle enters the room and tells him she's been thinking a lot about Sammy Jo and the relationship she never got a chance to forge with Rock Hudson. She worries that she may have come down too hard on her during the previous episode and decides that the conniving skanklet is really not that bad of a person after all.

In New York, Sammy Jo and George Hamilton are scrutinizing Rita's "Krystle disguise", trying to figure out why she still doesn't look convincingly enough like Blake's trophy wife...even though it doesn't take a rocket scientist to deduce that the cheap blonde wig atop Rita's head looks too unlike Krystle's fluffier, side-winged 'do. Sammy Jo says the problem is Rita eyebrows, while George Hamilton argues that her lips are too full...then later decides that the nose is all wrong and that Rita should get a rhinoplasty. Rita gets upset at the scrutiny over her facial features, refuses to undergo surgery, and storms out of Sammy Jo's apartment. When Sammy Jo looks alarmed, George Hamilton calmly assures her that he'll bring Rita around...and Sammy Jo glares at a head shot of Krystle and bitterly warns the photo, "You have no idea what you bargained for when you decided to get cute with me."

"We can't seem to put our finger on why she doesn't resemble Krystle closely enough."

"It's the wig's lack of side wings, stupid."

Jeff is startled to find Charlton Heston milling around Blake's office and pissily reminds him it's been eleven years since they've seen each other, and that he still resents how little time he was willing to spend with him during his formative years. A few seconds later, Blake enters the room and grumbles about his secretary allowing Charlton Heston to enter his office without permission, and Charlton Heston says he strongly insisted 'cause he's so eager to discuss an important deal he's confident Blake won't want to pass up, namely building the biggest oil pipeline in North America. Blake dismissively says he's not interested, and Charlton Heston smugly retorts that he'd better get interested 'cause he just made a deal with the unnamed country's Minister of Trade to restrict all outgoing oil pumped from the South China Sea to be shipped exclusively via Colby California's tankers. Blake cries, "That's double dealing!" and vows to find a way to get the extracted South China Sea oil into the U.S., and Charlton Heston's like, "Good luck with that" and hands him a copy of the prospectus on the new pipeline before exiting the office.

Over a decadent looking lunch in the penthouse, Alexis asks Prince Michael who he thinks was behind the revolution in Moldavia, and Prince Michael sullenly says he doesn't want to talk about it. Alexis presses the matter by telling him she'd like to help rescue his father, but Prince Michael declines her help and says he's taking the appropriate steps through his own channels. Amanda urges her husband to accept Alexis's assistance so that they can all work together to save Galen, and Prince Michael shoots her an incredulous stink-eye for having the impudence to voice an opinion in his presence, then imperiously replies that, unlike her, he's been reared since birth to handle matters of state. Alexis admonishes his bitchy rudeness towards Amanda, doubles down on wanting to help Galen, and insists on being involved with the rescue. Prince Michael snappishly replies that his own people are dealing with his and that she needs to back off...and when Alexis asks for the details on how he plans to handle his father's predicament, he tells her it's none of her damn business.

"I really think you should let mummy help out with your father's rescue."

"Um, why are you speaking?"

Jonathan Lake, an assistant undersecretary from the State Department drops by Denver Carrington to rudely grill Blake on what intel he might have about the new regime in Moldavia. When Blake says he doesn't know a whole lot, Jonathan snidely retorts that he likely knows more than he thinks, given that he was able to secure the release of Krystle and Alexis from their dungeon cells. Dominique, who happened to be visiting with Blake when Jonathan arrived unannounced, glares at Jonathan and icily insists that her brother knows nothing...and Blake dials down the tension by telling Jonathan that he'd be happy to answer any questions if they're submitted to his lawyers in writing. Jonathan agrees to that compromise, then gives Dominique an appreciative once over before exiting the office. 

Blake summons Adam to his office to order him to fly to Los Angeles pronto and find out everything he can about Charlton Heston's finances and the state of his health. He explains that he may be forced into doing business with the man and doesn't want to be blindsided by any troubling surprises.  

Over at ColbyCo, Alexis tells Steven she's beginning to see Prince Michael for the impertinent little prick he is, and that he seems to enjoy playing the role of exiled king a bit too much. She says she really really wants to do something to help King Galen, then asks Steven if he knows of any countries that have friendly trade relations with Moldavia. Steven says he heard that France does...and Alexis mulls that over and decides that her new mission in life will be figuring out how to urge the French government to put pressure on the Moldavian regime to "make them see the light". Steven scrunches his face worriedly and warns her that she could be getting in over her head - just as Dex bursts into the room and asks to speak with Alexis in private. Once Steven is out of earshot, Dex tells Alexis that Charlton Heston is in town, and that he's been discussing joining forces with Denver Carrington to build a large oil pipeline. He says he really really wants Dexter International to get in on that action, but needs her to strong arm Blake into it, which she likely could, given that she owns 25% of the South China Sea oil leases. Alexis chortles about the un-romantic nature of the request, and Dex smilingly reminds her that this is a business meeting and promises to give her some good lovin' in the sack later. Alexis perks up at that, chirps, "Deal!", and agrees to talk to Blake. After Dex exits her office, she asks Steven to get France's Minister of Trade on the phone, then mutters to herself that she's hoping Moldavia will soon fold under the threat of a trade embargo with France.

Over in the La Mirage bar, Dominique overhears Jonathan Lake calling the front desk to ask for her room number, so she marches over and haughtily asks what he wants. Jonathan sheepishly explains that he's not usually as rude to people as he was to Blake earlier - and Dominique retorts that he really should be apologizing to Blake, not her. Jonathan offers to buy her a drink so he can improve on the terrible first impression he must have made to her, but she snootily says she takes great pride in the accuracy of first impressions, then wishes him good day before flouncing off...leaving Jonathan staring after her all smitten-like.

Krystle tells Blake that she feels the need to fly to New York right this minute so she can make peace with Sammy Jo face-to-face, and Blake's like, "Sure, whatever. I really don't give a shit."

George Hamilton is showing Rita some head shots of Krystle, pointing out the need to alter her nose. He then likens her impersonation of Krystle to 'the role of a lifetime', which will transform her into a wealthy trophy wife who has everything she's ever dreamed of. As Rita mulls over her forthcoming metamorphosis, George Hamilton coos about how she deserves the very best, then gives her an intense smooch before the two start getting it on.

Adam reminds Claudia that he gave her an ultimatum to accept his marriage proposal or else, and wants her answer before he leaves for Los Angeles. He then suggests she come along with him and offers to buy her an engagement ring, but she's like, "No and no" and says she's worried that if they get married it'll result in both of them getting hurt. Adam creepily argues that they both share an insatiable hunger for power and a passion for each other - but she's like, "Mmm...nope, I don't feel anything like that", and decides that she's going to spend some time in San Francisco while he's out of town so that they can separately ponder whether they really, truly, absolutely want to gross out all of Denver by forming an unholy marital alliance.  

"I'm just worried that our marriage will eventually turn into a creepishly unholy alliance."

"Well duh. That's the end result of any marriage involving me."

Jeff hands Justin Dehner the wedding gown Fallon was wearing the night she disappeared, and Justin touches it while closing his eyes, then looks spaced out as he reports that his psychic senses are picking up something related to panic/water/drowning. As he shuts his eyes and gets lost in the troubling sensation, an alarmed Jeff yells, "Where?! Who?!" LOL.

While ambling along a California beach, Miles tells Randall/Fallon that he used to find the beach a sad and lonely place - but now that he has her to stroll along the sand with, he finds it beautiful. He leans in for a kiss - just as Randall/Fallon notices a little boy running towards the water. She has a confusing flashback of when Little Blake was toddling towards the Carrington swimming pool while she was faux paralyzed, shrieks in panic, and races over to "save" the little boy. As she hugs him tightly, the tot's babysitter runs over and snappishly orders her to let go of the kid and mind her own business. Miles scrunches his face confusedly and asks her what in blazes that spectacle was all about, so she explains that she just had a flashback, but has no idea idea what it means, then cries at the sky, "Pleeeeeease help me remember!"

Barbara Stanwyck calls Jeff...and after the two natter about how long it's been since they've spoken, she tells him she neeeeeds to talk to him about something so important that it absolutely has to be a face-to-face conversation. Jeff furrows his caterpillar brows and asks her what this is about, so she tells him she's made a decision that could dramatically change his life, and wants him in Los Angeles to hear the details.

Fallon/Randall and Miles, meanwhile, enjoy a tender smooch on the beach with the dramatic sunset providing a pretty backdrop.

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