Dynasty - Season 6, Episode 2

Alexis's '80s fashion has sprouted wings

"The Homecoming"
Original airdate: 10/2/1985

Episode summary: The surviving Moldavia Massacre hostages return to the U.S. unharmed. An emotional Steven delivers the eulogy at Luke's funeral. Sammy Jo gets an unexpected offer to help claim her inheritance.

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Recap: Krystle is pacing the length of her Moldavian dungeon cell when the door suddenly swings opens and a disheveled looking Alexis is thrown in with her. Alexis stares at Krystle in bewilderment and asks her what in blazes she's doing here, so Krystle explains that she's being [nonsensically] detained for refusing to convince Blake to honor the unholy financial deal she (Alexis) made with King Galen, which she wryly equates to "selling your daughter for a throne". Alexis haughtily says she's not in the mood for a lecture after being tied up and blindfolded...and Krystle counters that she's been rotting in this dungeon cell since the end of the previous episode, then admonishes Alexis for being so self-centered that she hasn't even thought to ask about the fate of her children or Dex. Alexis dramatically shakes her head from side to side - LOL - and asks Krystle if she's seen her loved ones, and Krystle informs her that, impossible as it is to believe, everyone but Lady Ashley and Luke made it through the massacre alive. She adds that the terrorists are claiming that King Galen also perished, but that she later saw him in one of the palace bedrooms, visibly stirring. Alexis moans, "Oh God.." and tears up, and Krystle blames the current predicament of most of the Dynasty cast on her for pushing Amanda into the royal marriage. Alexis snappishly tells her to stop her sanctimonious finger pointing so they can put their heads together and figure a way out of this hellhole.

Blake is on the phone with his banker and cleverly arranges for a bounty of $5 million to be put on the head of the Interior Minister if he doesn't immediately release Krystle and Alexis. He then smugly informs the incensed Interior Minister that this is how he deals with terrorists, and the Interior Minister cringes from the embarrassment of being so easily outsmarted by a douchenut like Blake before instructing Yuri to release the women. 

​In the next scene, Krystle and Alexis are brought into the room, and they squeal with delight at the sight of their husbands and rush over to hug them. The Interior Minister snarks at Blake for referring to him as a terrorist instead of the revolutionary he considers himself to be, and Blake's just like, "Whatever" and demands a safe escort to the U.S. bound plane.

Back in New York, Sammy Jo and Rita are watching news coverage of the return of the Moldavian Massacre's surviving hostages [aka nearly every Dynasty actor who was present at the royal wedding]. Amanda addresses the press and declares that she's standing by her man, who she insists is the rightful King of Moldavia...and Prince Michael bitchily admonishes the reporters for not addressing his wife with the respectful Your Highness title.

"Amanda, do you plan on standing by your newly overthrown prince husband?"

"Only until such time as Dex is ready to hit the sheets again."

Krystle is in the nursery, cuddling Kristina, when a smiling Blake enters the room. Krystle tells Blake how sad she is about the loss of Lady Ashley and Luke...and how frightened she was that she'd never see him and/or hold their baby again. Blake gives her a canoodle and firmly assures her that nothing will ever come between them again.

Adam and Claudia indulge in an energetic romp at the La Mirage...and after enjoying some brief post-coital afterglow, Adam complains about having to hide their relationship behind closed doors, accuses her of not loving him enough, and barks, "Marry me!" Claudia points out that marriage always seems to destroy her serious relationships, as evidenced by the disastrous ends of her marriages to Bo and Steven [even though those breakups were mostly brought about by infidelities on both sides]. Adam agrees to back off, then makes his voice all sexy-husky in that creepy way he does and promises that, henceforth, every time they doink will be like the first time...and Claudia perks up at that sexy promise and waxes on about what a superb lover he is.

Alexis is having a troubled sleep and suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming, "Galen!" When Dex asks her whassup, she dramatically shakes her head from side to side - LOL - and says she has a strong feeling that King Galen is still alive...not least 'cause Krystle told her what she saw with her own eyes in the palace bedroom. Dex says it's unlikely that the terrorists would have kept Galen alive, then says the only thing he cares about right now is that she's alive and safe with him. He then leans in for a kiss...and the two get into some intense smooching action.  

Over in New York, Sammy Jo has given Rita a fugly cheap blonde wig to make her look more Krystle-like...then stands back and scrutinizes her, unable to put her finger on what isn't quite right about this "disguise" [hint: it's the fugly cheap blonde wig]. Sammy Jo decides that the problem is not enough nose blush - cause...yeah, that's going to make a critical difference - but then concludes that there's no way in hell that Rita is going to be able to successfully pull off a Krystle impersonation. She then decides 'to hell with this implausible scheme' and declares that she's flying to Denver right now to claim her inheritance - and that she's not even going to have to install an imposter in the Carrington mansion to do it. So there!

"There's something off about your Krystle disguise."

"It's gotta be inadequate nose blush."

Over in the cemetery, Steven solemnly stands in front of Luke's coffin and delivers a heart-felt eulogy about the man he describes as his honest, patient lover. He waxes on about how Luke uncomplainingly waited for him to resolve his relentless 'am I a gay man or a straight man?' quandary so they could finally settle into a loving relationship. Afterwards, Blake gruffly tells Steven he's proud of him and invites him to join the rest of the family at the mansion, but Steven declines and says he needs to head over to Luke's apartment to pack up his stuff.

Steven is packing boxes when Claudia stops by the apartment to gush about his amaaaazing eulogy. She tells him she considers their marital problems to be water under the bridge and says she feels only love and compassion for him now...and he apologizes for acting like such a pissy little bitch during the more toxic stages of their ill-fated marriage.  

Claudia finds an angry Adam waiting for her in her La Mirage office. He snaps, "Where the hell have you been?" and gets visibly annoyed when she tells him she was visiting with Steven. He bitchily reminds her that Steven is her past and breathily barks, "I want you. All of you" - but Claudia says she can't force herself to shut off her loving feelings for Steven, and that she needs more time to fully consider if she really truly seriously wants to be shackled in marriage to a creepy rapist abuser who barks things like 'I want you. All of you'. Adam sneeringly declares that he's willing to give her every part of him and expects the same of her...then shoots her the stink-eye before storming out of the room. Run, Claudia. Run!

Rita returns to her apartment and finds George Hamilton (aka her off camera abusive boyfriend) waiting for her. He apologizes for smacking her around the last time they spoke, then explains that he only did it 'cause he was soooo stressed out about getting fired for going $12 million over budget on the film he was directing. Yikes. He tells Rita he wants to make it up to her...and by make it up to her, he means unzip her dress and start getting it on. After some half-hearted resistance, Rita gets into it, and the two start going at it atop the couch. 

Blake tells Prince Michael that he's very proud of how Amanda has dealt with the whole Moldavian Coup Situation, then toasts the couple's future. He offers to introduce Prince Michael to some important Denver players to figure out how he's going to make a living from here on in, but Prince Michael declines the offer and snappishly says he's more than capable of providing for his new trophy wife.

Prince Michael grumbles at Amanda about whether she's daddy's little girl or his adult wife, so she saucily reminds him that she wasn't daddy's little girl last night. Ew. She changes the subject to Duchess Elena and wonders if perhaps she was involved in the Moldavian coup - and an irked Prince Michael tells her not to worry her pretty little head about it and leave all Moldavian affairs of state to him. Amanda gets angry at being blown off and loudly demands to know what the hell she's supposed to do all day, and he orders her to lower her voice and act like his queen...which apparently doesn't involve pondering who might have aided the revolutionaries who betrayed her husband and father-in-law. He snaps, "Is that understood?" and she meekly confirms that it is before he storms out of the room.   

Rita tells George Hamilton about Sammy Jo's nefarious scheme to claim her inheritance money that's currently under Krystle Carrington's control, and George Hamilton perks up at the mention of money and Carrington and says he's read all about the great and wealthy Blake Carrington. Rita says that the idea of her impersonating Krystle is far too crazy to take seriously, not least 'cause she's an actress not a criminal - but George Hamilton urges her to rethink that sane logic and consider the scheme to be an opportunity to turn in the performance of a lifetime.

"I declined the chance to help Sammy Jo get her hands on a boatload of cash."

"You did what now?"

Over at ColbyCo, Dominique is complaining to Alexis that she's getting in the way of hers and Blake's ability to sell off the valuable timberland that is part of Tom Carrington's estate...and a distracted Alexis, who's idly doodling King Galen on a pad of paper, just shrugs and says she doesn't give a rat's ass about timberland and urges them to do whatever the hell they want with it. Dominique looks pleasantly surprised at Alexis's shift from being her usual obstructive self and says she'll get to work on the bidding process asap...and Alexis is all, "Whatever, I really don't give a shit" and continues doodling.

Sammy Jo is barking orders at the interior decorator she hired to redo the Delta Rho office - just as an aghast looking Krystle arrives and demands to know what she's doing. Sammy Jo reminds her that this property now belongs to her, and that she's opting to get rid of the tacky plaid wallpaper and horse portraits. When she snippily adds that she wants an advance of 10K along with the unpaid stable fees, Krystle wearily promises to get her the cash...and once she's out of earshot, Sammy Jo cackles to herself and vows, "I'll get it all."

Dex is trying to have a business-related conversation with Alexis, who's decked out in a blue blazer that has arrows (?) wings (?) for sleeves - but she's too distracted by the uncertainty of King Galen's fate to pay attention and says she wants to give a TV interview to make public her suspicions about the ousted king still being alive. Dex points out that it's a sure way to get the man killed if he is still alive, and that she wouldn't want that death on her head.

Jeff is in his office at Denver Carrington, sifting through Lady Ashley's things when Dominique breezes in and sympathetically clucks at him to cheer up 'cause Lady Ashley wouldn't want him to dwell on his grief. Jeff's like, "Yeah, I'm already over her" and shows Dominique the crowd photo that Lady Ashley took that he believes has Fallon in it...and Dominique scrunches her face in annoyance and says she assumed that he was mourning Lady Ashley, not reigniting his obsession with Fallon's disappearance. She then raises the obvious point: if Fallon is alive, why hasn't she come home? And Jeff muses that perhaps she's trying to return to him, but for some reason isn't able to. 

"You need to get over Lady Ashley and get on with your life."

"Can do!"

In Los Angeles, Miles Colby and Fallon (aka Randall Adams) are dining at a French restaurant...and Fallon is as mystified by her ability to order her meal in fluent French as Miles is impressed that she has full command of a language other than English. He says he's going to assume that she studied at the Sorbonne - but she doubts that's true, even though she doesn't actually know for sure 'cause she continues to have no idea who she is, which is why she randomly started calling herself Randall Adams. She adds that when she saw his name in the newspaper, the name Colby seemed to trigger something familiar inside of her muddled brain, and Miles just stares at her in his usual vacant fashion as he compliments her hotness and shrugs disinterestedly at a memory loss that would alarm or at least concern a normal person, and interprets her sudden appearance in his life as a sign that they were meant to be together.

Jeff shows Blake the crowd photo and insists that Fallon is in it - but after studying it for a few seconds, Blake says it's too blurry for him to be absolutely sure, then chides him for being so obsessed about Fallon's disappearance and implores him to start living in the real world. Jeff stubbornly retorts that he's jetting to L.A. to launch a search for Fallon, and reminds Blake how adamant he was about Steven being alive when he was presumed dead after "dying" in the oil rig explosion, then declares that no one is going to stop him from finding his ex/future wife.

Sammy Jo returns to her New York apartment and is startled to find Rita and her boyfriend waiting for her. Rita introduces her to George Hamilton, who remarks that judging from the pouty expression on Sammy Jo's face, she has returned from Denver empty-handed. He then proposes that the three of them join forces to manipulate the Carringtons into doing what they want...and as Rita grins and nods in agreement, Sammy Jo mulls that over while staring contemplatively into space.

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