Recap: Alexis keeps trying to get a hold of Dex in his suite at the La Mirage, but there's no answer...and then the camera pans over to the La Mirage, where Dex and Amanda are bumping uglies while the phone continuously rings. Eventually, Amanda unplugs the phone and smirkingly says she should have done that awhile ago, but Dex scrunches his face concernedly and tells her he regrets what they were doing just a few seconds ago, and that she should prolly get dressed and leave. Amanda says there's nothing they've been doing in his hotel room that she finds regrettable in any way 'cause of the special something that has always existed between them. Dex counters that he only hit the sheets with her 'cause of how hammered he was...and when Amanda saucily asks him if he's drunk now, he replies by giving her an intense smooch.
Over at Carrington manor, Krystle tells Blake that she's been going through the household accounts and was dismayed to learn that Rita withdrew nearly $1 million during the time she was impersonating her. Blake's all, "Wha-a-a-a?", quickly glances over the books, and grumbles about how George Hamilton and Rita need to be stopped before they hurt anyone else. When he wonders where in blazes they could be, Krystle says that George Hamilton talked a lot about fleeing to South America and suggests they ask Sammy Jo if she knows anything. Blake's like, "Good idea", picks up the phone, and barks at Krystle's skanklet of a niece to get herself to the mansion for an impromptu inquisition asap.
Sammy Jo tells Blake she's completely stunned to learn that Rita surreptitiously stole $1 million from the Carrington household, then insists that this thievery was done behind her back. A growly Blake warns her not to lie, so Sammy Jo says she really really had no earthly idea that this money was being stolen...or to where George Hamilton and Rita fled. Blake reminds her she's lied to him in the past, snarls that he'll find the two degenerates with or without her help, then rushes off to try to get the police more interested in locating the still-at-large fugitives.
Alexis rushes over to La Mirage and tells a hotel lackey that she desperately neeeeeds to check on her husband, then explains that he hasn't been answering his phone and she worries he might be ill. As Caress peeks into the hallway from her suite while grinning devilishly, the hotel lackey unlocks Dex's suite so that Alexis can get an eyeful of Dex and Amanda, nakedly canoodling in his bed. Alexis reacts by gasping, "Oh my Goddddd!", prompting Amanda to cry, "Mummy!", to which Alexis shoots her the stink-eye and says she'll never forgive this betrayal and that she's not to ever call her Mummy again. As she storms out, Dex half-heartedly calls after his wife, then stares sheepishly into space while a troubled looking Amanda continues to cling to him.
Alexis returns home to find an irate Blake waiting for her. He demands to know how in the hell she could send a reporter posing as a nanny to the mansion to torment Krystle, and Alexis plays dumb and says she has no idea what he's talking about...and is currently more concerned about the fact that their daughter just got boned by her step-father. Blake scrunches his face into an ew expression and accuses Alexis of lying, so Alexis challenges him to speed over to La Mirage and check out the disturbing spectacle for himself. After Blake storms out of the penthouse, Alexis gets on the phone and instructs her pilot to have the jet fueled and ready to fly her to St. Thomas first thing in the morning, then stares miserably into space while muttering, "What a rotten night."
Blake asks Amanda if Alexis' allegations about her and Dex hitting the sheets is true, and instead of answering, Amanda bitterly mumbles about how Alexis is always right. When Blake tells her to just answer the damn question, she confirms that, yep, she and the Dexter knocked boots at La Mirage last night, and that she has zero regrets about either time she hooked up with him. When Blake's all, "The hell are you talking about?", she explains that she first rode Dex's baloney pony shortly before he and Alexis wed, and long before she and Prince Michael wed. When she adds that she went through with the royal Moldavian wedding 'cause she only thought she loved Prince Michael, Blake shakes his head and growls, "Where's your sense of decency?" He then throws the towel on trying to get Amanda interested in any self-reflection and announces that he's storming over to La Mirage to give Dex the what for. Amanda cries, "Daddy, don't gooooooo, pleeeeeease!', then quickly gets on the horn with Dex to warn him that goat daddy's on his way over to punch him in the face.
Krystle drops by the penthouse while Alexis is eating breakfast and snarls at her for sending the reporter/faux nanny to the mansion in an effort to find out what went on between her and George Hamilton in the Delta Rho attic. She then gets all in Alexis' face and barks, "I was terrified! I lived with constant threats against my baby!" ... and when Alexis just sort of rolls her eyes disinterestedly, Krystle flips Alexis' plate of food onto her lap before storming towards the elevator. An irked Alexis bellows, "Enjoy your life as Mrs. Carrington while you can!" and vows to somehow see to it that Blake throws her out of the mansion.
Caress types up more dish on Alexis for her upcoming tell all book, then tries to phone her sister, but is informed that she'll be out of town until tomorrow.
Blake bursts into Dex's La Mirage suite and punches the Lothario in the face before muttering, "I've been waiting a long time to do that." Dex agrees that, yep, he's definitely had that coming for quite a while now, and Blake shoots him a hateful glare and warns him to stay far away from his daughter. Dex says he's willing to do his part, but that the nymphet also needs to be told to keep her distance from him...and when an incensed Blake asks if he's implying that Amanda took advantage of him, he back pedals and contritely says he's accepting all responsibility for the imprudent doink.
Caress flounces over to ColbyCo and tells the unsuspecting Steven that she's a journalist who's looking for background into on Alexis...but since she's out of town, she'd like him to fill in some of the blanks. She proceeds to ask if Alexis is a good mother, and Steven vouches for her loving heart and generous spirit with all of her children. He then jokes about how ecstatic he is about having Dex as a step-father - but when Caress asks about Alexis' enemies, Steven clams up and abruptly cuts off the interview. Caress shrugs unconcernedly and smugly reveals that she has more than enough inside intel to write a juicy tell all on Alexis, given that she's always known her...and Steven scrunches his face confusedly, but refrains from asking her to elaborate on that odd remark.
Blake is in a meeting with Bart Fallmont, trying to convince him he wants Denver Carrington to be seen as believing that the environment is important...and to that end says the company is willing to reroute the pipeline around an area of pristine nature. As Bart chews on that, Steven enters the office just as Blake is called out for a quick one-on-one with someone. Steven apologizes to Bart for the vigorously homoerotic wrestling match he instigated at the gym five episodes ago, and Bart's like, "Forget it" as the two stare at each other longingly.
Dex confronts King Galen about where Alexis jetted off to, and he tells Dex he has no idea, but that it's obvious he's lost her 'cause she fancies a certain king. Dex glares at him and snarls that he'd happily kill him if he were worth going to prison over, then storms out of the guest suite.
Alexis is in St. Thomas (Virgin Islands), moodily sipping a drink at a hotel bar when a buff young blonde wanders over, correctly assumes she's in the Caribbean to get a quickie divorce, and says he's gotten into the fun habit of tapping older rich, soon-to-be-single ladies. Alexis tells him he's barking up the wrong tree and makes it clear she has zero interest in indulging in a casual, cougar-style romp with him, then tips the bartender with her ginormous diamond wedding ring (!).
Steven is on the phone with an old friend named Griff, who's inviting him to attend Chris Deegan's upcoming office party. Steven turns down the invitation 'cause he's a boring drip who'd rather mope around the mansion in his spare time...and when Krystle overhears his end of the conversation, she urges him to stop shutting out the world and open himself up to another relationship.
Blake summons Adam to his office and demands a detailed audit of all Denver Carrington's financial transactions for the last two months. Adam scrunches his face worriedly as he recalls the sneaky way he got power of attorney over Blake during The Alarm episode, but then relaxes when Blake clarifies that the purpose of the audit is to figure out whether or not George Hamilton stole money from the company. Blake then changes the subject and orders Adam to stop acting like such a dickwad towards Steven, who he's decided to promote to the company's board of directors. Adam poutishly asks why he's not getting that honor, and Blake sourly retorts that it remains to be seen if he deserves it.
Adam returns to his office and finds a frail looking Dr. Edwards waiting for him. Dr. Edwards explains that he travelled all the way to Denver to see some doctors about his ill health and to report that a Claudia Blaisdel, who has based herself in The Lodge motel in Billings, MT, is poking into his past...and that she didn't buy his lame story of barely knowing a certain Adam Carrington. Adam breezily tells him not to worry about it, wishes him well on his various upcoming medical tests, and steers him out of the office. He then tries to contact Claudia at The Lodge, but learns that she's checked out.
Caress is wandering around Alexis' penthouse (is there not security in this building??), marveling at its luxuriousness, and enjoying the caviar that Alexis' manservant must have laid out. She pours herself a glass of champagne, then grabs a magazine and stretches out on the couch - just as Dex enters the penthouse and assumes for a moment that she's Alexis. When she lowers the magazine, Dex is all, "Ack! Who the hell are you?" ... and Caress introduces herself as Alexis' sister. When Dex informs her that he's Alexis' husband, Caress looks intrigued by the idea of having such a hunky brother-in-law and invites him to stay for a sultry chat. Dex looks weirded out [by the annoying way she purrs everything that comes out of her mouth] and says he can't do that right now, and Caress just shrugs and pours herself another glass of bubbly.
Steven has decided to attend Chris Deegan's office party after all...and soon after he arrives, he notices that Bart Fallmont is also in attendance. Griff confirms to Steven that - shocker of shocks - Bart is gay and didn't bother coming with a girlfriend-beard, and Steven perks up at having his hunch confirmed, then wanders across the room to warmly greet Bart. He suggests to Bart that they become friends and that he knows all too well how hard it is to come out of the closet - but a prickly Bart places a restraining hand on Steven's arm and warns him to stay out of his private life. Adam arrives at the office party at that exact moment and spots the intimate gesture...then makes a beeline to the nearest pay phone to order his investigator to dig up dirt on a possibly gay Bart Fallmont.
Garrett drops by Dominique's La Mirage suite and finds Jackie playing the piano. After the two introduce each other, Garrett looks stunned to learn that Dominique has a twenty year old daughter she's never mentioned...then suspicious when Jackie tells him that her alleged bio dad was a car racer who died before she was born.
Garrett heads down to the La Mirage dining room, where Dominique is gaily rehearsing I've Got You Under My Skin. After listening to her sing the entire fuuuuuucking song (!), Garrett applauds, then tells Dominique he just met her daughter and doesn't recall her ever mentioning hooking up with a race car driver around twenty years ago. He asks if Jackie could be his daughter, given the timeline of their past sack-time, and Dominique snaps, "Of course not!" - but Garrett says that he nor his suspicions are going to be easily swept aside.
Amanda poutily asks Dex why he never phoned her back, so he tells her he doesn't want to see her anymore. Amanda reminds him she's not some hooker he casually picked up one night, and Dex softens and admits that, yeah, she's incredibly sensual and all - but that he's still in love with Alexis. Amanda points out that Alexis feels nothing but hatred for him after catching them in the sack together, and adds that the two of them coupling up always had a 'meant to be' kind of vibe. Dex denies feeling the same way and tells a distraught Amanda he just learned that Alexis' jet will be landing soon, and that he has to rush off 'cause he wants to meet the plane and beg for his [ex]wife's forgiveness.
Shortly after Alexis' plane lands, Dex boards and implores Alexis to forgive him for the icky sin of boning her daughter. Alexis is all, "Nope" and informs him she was just in the Caribbean to get a quickie divorce from him, then smugly adds, "To marry a king!" ... and as she flouncily deplanes, Dex stares despondently into space.
Alexis enters the guest suite and overhears King Galen chuckling with whoever he's talking to on the phone (while no longer fake crippled) that he's successfully bamboozled Alexis. A few seconds later, he turns around and sees Alexis standing there and pales when she hisses, "I want you out of here." As he tries to stammer an implausible explanation, she cuts him off and declares that she'll be keeping the royal jewels he gave her, then orders him to pack up his shit and get the hell out of her penthouse.
Alexis mopishly wanders up to her bedroom, pets her faithful (and adorable!) Shih Tzu, then angrily swipes the contents atop her dresser before hissing, "You bastard. All of you!" Amanda ambles into the room and says they need to talk, but Alexis makes it clear she has nothing to say to her, that she no longer considers her her daughter, and that she wants her to stay the hell out of her life.
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