Recap: Krystle is wearing a fancy pink negligee, sipping coffee while she pensively stares out of her bedroom window. Blake enters the room and tells her he's off to go horseback riding with Jeff so he can break the unhappy news about his dismal bank loan situation...and Krystle laments all of the unhappy Dynasty news lately, particularly Mark's supposed suicide. She tells Blake she finds it hard to believe that Porn-'stache would kill himself...and that the last time she saw him, he told her he felt like he was on top of the world, but knew someone who would like to push him off of it. Blake grunts in reply, then stares disinterestedly into space.
As Blake and Jeff trot around the estate on horseback, Blake tells Jeff that the banks have all refused his loan extension request...and that Alexis made him an offer to loan him the cash with the consequence of losing Denver Carrington if he can't pay up. He assures Jeff that he's refusing her offer 'cause he doesn't want to do business with the devil twice (the first time being Rashid Ahmed). Blake tells Jeff he'd like to keep the news from Fallon until after the wedding - but Jeff furrows his caterpillar brows in disapproval and argues that Fallon is a grown woman who can handle bad news, and insists that she has the right to know the truth.
Jeff tiptoes into Fallon's bedroom carrying a tray with orange juice and a single rose. He caresses her face with the rose, then wakes her up with a gentle smooch. She smiles sleepily and tells him she'd like him to wake her up like that every day...and he gets a sheepish look on his face and asks, "Would you like to be married to a pauper?" then tells her about Blake's loan extension conundrum. He says that if Blake loses Denver Carrington, he (Jeff) could lose his share of the company and a huge bundle of cash, but Fallon just shrugs and says she doesn't give a rat's ass how rich or poor he is...and the two start going at it.
Blake and Andrew are in Blake's office, going through boxes of papers to find assets that Blake could sell in order to raise the money he needs to pay off his monster loan. When Blake suggests selling his football team, Andrew suggests he bite the bullet and mortgage his estate, which is worth a fortune 'cause of its extensive grounds and forty-eight room (holy crap!) mansion. Blake mulls that over and reluctantly agrees - but refuses to sell off anything he's given as gifts to Krystle. He then remembers that he owns the rights to an exclusive shale oil extraction process, which would be highly valuable to anyone who holds shale oil leases...like Alexis, for example.
Sammy Jo, who's decked out in a red leather mini-skirt ensemble, is leading a small army of pissed off looking servants who got roped into transporting her luggage to her guest room at Carrington manor...and she's carrying a ghetto-blaster that's blaring a muzaked version of Michael Jackson's Thriller. I wonder if that's cheaper than paying for the license to play the actual song. When she enters her room, she flops onto the bed and lets out a weary sigh. Krystle pops by to say hey, and Sammy Jo complains about how there aren't any flowers in the room to welcome her, and Krystle counters by pointing out that it's customary for guests to give their hosts flowers as a thank you for letting them live in their mansion and sponge off of them indefinitely. She then warns Sammy Jo to not cause any friction during her stay, and Sammy Jo faux sweetly promises to not spoil a minute of her life.
Sammy Jo changes into a bright pink workout leotard and slides down the banister of the grand staircase. When her stunt double reaches the bottom, she tumbles onto the floor, and is helped to her feet by Adam...who's wearing nothing but short shorts. Yeesh. He introduces himself and gets all grab handsy with her...and she grins at him flirtily and says she likes the idea of having a friend in this big house, then announces that she's off to the gym. Adam stares after her, admiring her slender, leotard clad form.
Alexis is standing on her balcony, staring contemplatively into space. Dex drops by unannounced and says he took it upon himself to come over 'cause he figured she wouldn't want to be alone so soon after Mark's splatting. Alexis snaps back that she has three (four?) children she could call upon if she required any comforting...and Dex ignores her snarkitude and tells her he remembers seeing Mark in Hong Kong and that he seemed very happy with himself. He asks her if she and Mark had some kind of scheme going, and Alexis wearily denies it, then says she's too tired to spar with him and would prefer to be alone. Dex gently caresses her face and tells her that even though they're no longer doinking they can still be friends, but Alexis bitchily asks how they can be something they never were in the first place. Dex clenches his jaw and gruffly replies, "Good luck, Alexis" and makes a break for the elevator.
Alexis is chain smoking in her office when Tracy flounces in and offers some faux words of sympathy about Mark's death. Alexis cuts her off and asks her how things are going with Avril Dawson, and Tracy admits she hasn't made much progress on tapping that. Alexis shoots her the stink-eye and asks her what she thinks she's being paid for...and Tracy looks hopeful as she replies, "To do the best job possible?" Heh. Alexis snipes that clearly she's not trying hard enough, so Tracy snappishly says she didn't exactly sign up to be the company whore, then adds, "That's what I also told to..." before her voice trails off. When Alexis snippily asks, "To whom?" Tracy comes right out and says Dex...then tells Alexis that if she wants secret intel from Avril Dawson she should sleep with him herself, since rumor has it it's one of her specialties. Hee! Alexis coldly asks Tracy when she and Dex had this conversation, so Tracy gleefully says it happened while they were nakedly frolicking together in a magnificent bed in his Hong Kong hotel room...then decides to spill the beans altogether about how she and Dex conspired together to get her hired at ColbyCo, mostly so she could spy for Dex. She then preempts an abrupt firing by announcing that she's quitting this shitty job, and that she and stupid Dex - who's clearly still hung up on her - deserve each other. As Tracy storms out, never to be seen again on Dynasty, Alexis continues to puff on her cigarette while staring stonily into space.
A mysterious, well dressed woman decked out in a fur coat with lots of luggage in tow, arrives at the La Mirage and checks in. She's miffed when the clerk tells her she'll be in a junior suite and haughtily tells him she had reserved a two bedroom suite - one for her wardrobe, and one for her ('cause apparently they can't co-exist in the same room) - and if he can't accommodate her, he'll need to call another hotel who can. Fallon happens to walk by at that moment, so she introduces herself as the hotel's owner, and assures her that a two bedroom suite won't be a problem. The mysterious woman says she recognizes her name, and adds that she recently read an article about the Carringtons in an English magazine. She wanks Fallon by calling her "a lovely young woman" and tells her she's heard so much about her famous parents. Fallon's like, "Er, OK", benevolently wishes her a pleasant stay at the La Mirage, then ambles off. The mysterious woman stares after her and defiantly mutters, "I plan to have a memorable stay."
Sammy Jo is at the Carrington stables dressed in a flimsy jacket and short shorts - and I'm no horse expert, but is it wise to go horseback riding in short shorts?? She tells Tony she'd like to ride Snowflake...and as Tony dutifully heads off to saddle her up, Sammy Jo hears Adam and Kirby bickering just outside the stable, so she peeks around the stable door to eavesdrop. Adam tells Kirby he has to go to Las Vegas for a business meeting and proposes that she come along so they can have a quickie wedding afterwards. Kirby snarls, "That's a rotten idea" and reminds him that she married Jeff in a quickie Reno wedding, and that the marriage turned out to be a disaster. Adam points out that she married Jeff out of desperation when Fallon was temporarily off the market...then says he's getting exasperated that every time he tries to make plans for their future, she rebuffs the ideas as if they're repulsive to her. Which they may well be, not least 'cause he's a creepy stalker who raped her in Season 3. He says he wonders if this marriage is ever going to happen, and she snaps, "I've been wondering that too" and climbs into her car and drives off. Sammy Jo smiles gleefully, then tells Tony something has come up, and that she won't be riding Snowflake after all.
Alexis summons Steven to her office to tell him he needs to fly to New York pronto to handle some ColbyCo-related problem - but Steven points out that there's also problems brewing in Denver, namely that he can't get Dex to work with him or even answer his phone calls. Alexis promises to handle it, then tells him that since the corporate jet is out of commission, he's going to have to fly commercial. Egads!
Krystle asks Sammy Jo what time her flight back to New York is, and Sammy Jo pretends that the ad campaign she's [not] modelling in got postponed...which means she's going to stick around Denver for a little awhile. Krystle looks aghast at the prospect and asks, "How long is 'a little while'?" and Sammy Jo snarkishly says if she's not welcome at Carrington manor, she can always pack up Danny and take him to La Mirage. Krystle hastily says that that won't be necessary and that she's welcome to stay...and after she exits the room, Sammy Jo plays a muzaked version of Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Want to Have Fun on her ghetto-blaster and murmurs the lyrics. LOL.
Fallon finds the mysterious woman from the other day in the La Mirage dining room, eating breakfast. They chat about Colorado, blah blah...until the mysterious woman starts gabbling about Alexis being the richest woman in Denver, possibly in the country. When she starts digging for more intel on Alexis, an irked Fallon asks her if she's a society columnist looking for a story, and the mysterious woman chuckles and calls that amusing. Fallon warns her that Alexis is a tough old broad who doesn't tolerate being messed with, then excuses herself from the table.
Andrew tells Blake he was able to sell his horse Allegre...and when Blake bitchily reminds him that he gave Allegre to Krystle as a wedding gift, Andrew informs him that it was Krystle who ordered him to sell the animal. He tells Blake that word is out that he's short of cash, and urges him to make a move. Blake lets out a weary sigh, then buzzes his secretary and asks her to set up an appointment with Alexis asap.
Sammy Jo barks at the nanny to dress Danny so she can take him outside to play, and the nanny tells her that Mrs. Carrington (meaning Claudia, I'll assume) told her to keep him inside 'cause he's on the verge of catching a cold. Sammy Jo retorts that she's Danny's real mother and will be the one to make decisions for her son...and Claudia enters the nursery at that moment and tells Sammy Jo she'd appreciate it if she kept Danny inside 'cause she doesn't want the tot to get sick. Sammy Jo says he seems perfectly healthy whenever he's with her, probably 'cause he knows she's his mother (??) then insists on taking him outside to play. A furious Claudia makes a beeline to the nearest phone to call Steven in New York.
Alexis is in her office, decked out in a furry hat and blazer with matching fur on the sleeves (weird, considering the episode aired in May), reading the edition of World Finance that has Blake on the cover. When he enters her office for their scheduled appointment, she smugly assumes that he reconsidered her offer - but Blake says he's still turning down that offer, but has something he'd like to sell her: the coveted shale oil extraction process. Alexis grins and slyly asks, "Why would I bother with that?" so he points out that she has a vast number of shale oil leases that are currently unproductive and useless. She chortles, calls him "misguided and out of touch", then offers him $0. When he accuses her of bluffing, she reminds him that pre-Dynasty, he threw her out of his house and exiled her from her children...then says she likes that he's now at her mercy. She predicts that he'll be back soon enough to accept her first offer, then says that she has another appointment, and gets up to sashay towards the door.
In New York, Steven runs into his [I can only assume openly gay] friend from college, Owen Brancroft, who says he's trying to make it on Broadway. He extends his sympathies for Ted Dinard's Season 1 manslaughtering, then says they should get together for dinner some time. Steven accepts his invitation, then meets up with Ed Linden (Sammy Jo's portly, bespectacled sugar daddy from The Check episode, ew) and asks him when the ad campaign will be getting underway 'cause he'd like to have an idea when Sammy Jo will be leaving Denver. Ed tells him that the campaign was cancelled, and that he and Sammy Jo had a big fight - conveniently leaving out the part about how he backhanded her across the face - and complains that she left with the rent to her apartment unpaid. Which is weird, 'cause I figured that as her portly, bespectacled sugar daddy, he would have been covering those expenses. Steven stares back at him, horrified that he's now stuck under the same roof as his skanky ex-wife-beard.
Alexis returns home and is startled when she finds Sergeant Cooper and another police officer poking around her penthouse, looking for clues regarding Mark's demise. Sergeant Cooper asks Alexis to recount everything she remembers from that night, so she tells him that when she and Mark last spoke he was drunk, and then she got dressed and left the penthouse...which is kind of a glossed over version of events, but OK. Sergeant Cooper says he recently learned that she had visited Mark in his hotel room when he lived at La Mirage, then asks her why she failed to disclose that to him...so she says it happened so long ago that she didn't think it would have any bearing on the investigation. When Sergeant Cooper presses her to explain why she had visited Mark at the La Mirage, she brusquely says that their unholy coupling was personal and short lived.
Fallon is being fitted for her wedding gown while Krystle looks on...and the shop just happens to be next door to where construction men are drilling. Several minutes after they stop drilling, Fallon suddenly gets a headache and complains about the noise...and Krystle looks confused by her head pain. Fallon breezily says she's just tired, and that she'll continue with the fitting tomorrow.
Adam sees Sammy Jo trying to feed an uncooperative Danny, and looks charmed as the two lock eyes and smile at each other. Blech. He then goes upstairs and attempts to converse with Kirby, but she tells him to go away 'cause she's about to jump into the shower. When the camera pans inside the room, we see that Kirby is sitting on her bed, fondling her handgun.
As Blake and Fallon play pool, Blake says he heard that she wasn't feeling well earlier. She tells him she sometimes thinks she hears things - then suddenly gets a headache and conflates her head pain with her concern that marrying Jeff will be a huge mistake. She says she hurt him so much during marriage #1 and doesn't want to do that again, and Blake assures her that she won't, her being such a wonderful girl and all.
Sammy Jo is wrapped in a skimpy towel when Steven stops by her room for an unpleasant one-on-one. He flinches at her near nakedness - but then remembers that the writers have implied that he's into more of a non-hetero vibe this episode, so he throws a robe at Sammy Jo, orders her to cover herself, and calls her out for lying about being a model in the ad campaign. Sammy Jo admits to lying, then pretends she suddenly realized how much she loves Danny and has decided she wants to be a full time mother. Steven scrunches his face confusedly and is all, "Wha-at?", so Sammy Jo spells out that she wants Danny to be raised by his bio mom.
Alexis summons the mysterious woman from La Mirage to her penthouse to snippily tell her that she doesn't like people asking questions about her behind her back. When she assumes she's a journalist, the mysterious woman imperiously points out that she's too well dressed and bejeweled to be a mere journalist...and Alexis rolls her eyes and wryly retorts, "Anything can be rented these days." The mysterious woman touts herself as a very intelligent person, and that she wanted to check out in the flesh what she's heard so much about. She then lists all the personal tidbits she's gathered about Alexis Morell Carrington Colby: she's one of earth's most stunning beauties, she lives in a showplace penthouse, gets seasick on smallish yachts, was expelled from boarding school, and worked as a model in Europe. She adds that Alexis is vulnerable when it comes to her children, but ruthless with her enemies (of which there are many). The mysterious woman suddenly complains about the lackluster champagne she's just been served, and Alexis snarkishly warns her to tread carefully with her insults. She asks her who the hell she is, and the mysterious woman says she'll find out soon enough (ugh, not 'til Season 5), then gets up and strides over to the elevator. She says she enjoyed herself during this pointless one-on-one, chirps, "Ciao for now!" and steps onto the elevator, leaving a mystified Alexis staring after her.