Recap: Natalie returns home and worriedly wrings her hands about failing her Communications 102 class because 1) her upcoming assignment is to give a ten minute speech to her class about something exciting that recently happened to her, and 2) she has a deep-seated fear of public speaking. A few seconds later, Jo and Tootie return home from the shelter...and when Jo hears about Natalie's public speaking conundrum, she shrugs and is all 'I don't get what the big deal is' [nor do I, Jo...nor do I], while a more sympathetic Tootie offers to give Natalie some commonly used performance tips to help with the assignment.
Blair returns home after a tiring day of shopping and learns that the ultra prestigious law firm Harrison & Joseph called for her, and she's all, "Hurray!" and explains that she applied there for an internship. Tootie says she recently heard in the press that Harrison & Joseph is defending Clark Darrin, aka the man accused of murdering his (famous fashion designer) wife, Karina. Apparently no body was ever found - but there's a mountain of circumstantial evidence against Clark. Blair mulls all that over for several seconds before deciding she's going to need to head back out to the mall to buy some new business attire for her job interview.
Blair arrives at the law offices of Harrison & Joseph...and when she asks the secretary which of the two (or both!) are going to be interviewing her, the secretary dryly tells her that she'll be interviewing with a junior partner, given that both Harrison and Joseph are dead. A disappointed Blair grumbles, "A junior partner..?" just as the junior partner - Professor Katt from the Rumor Has It episode! - enters the room. Blair's all, "OMG!" then mutters, "Well, it's a small world, isn't it?" and slowly backs away from him. She says she hasn't seen him since her law school classmates falsely accused them of having a torrid affair, and he remarks on how uncomfortable she looks and asks if her unease is going to get in the way of her work at the firm. Blair assures him it won't and asks if his wife isn't going to mind them working together...and Katt wryly says she only minds when her alimony check is late, then confirms that, yep, they finally ended their shitty, trust-less marriage. He tells Blair that when he saw her resumé come across his desk, he recalled what an astute legal mind she demonstrated in class and figured she'd be perfect for making coffee and running the copy room. LOL. The secretary pokes her head into the room and informs Katt that Clark Darrin wants to see him and is waiting in the reception area, and Katt gives Blair a giant law book to reshelve before excusing himself to pull the files on the Darrin case.
Clark Darrin bursts into the office amid the secretary's protests that Attorney Katt isn't quite ready for him yet. Clark brusquely asks Blair where Katt is...and she tells him he went to pull the files on the Darrin murder case and asks him if he's on that case as well. He ruefully replies, "I guess you could say that" and she chucklingly tells him he definitely has his work cut out for him 'cause no way in hell is Clark Darrin not guilty of murdering his wife, and cites as proof that Barkley (the Vice President of Karina's company) overheard Clark threatening to kill his wife the very night she disappeared. Clark growls, "And you believe that Barkley guy?", and Blair's like, "Well d'yuh" and dishes about how the couple was often seen fighting in public...and that since Clark doesn't have an alibi, she has no doubt "he's guilty, guilty, guilty". When Katt returns to the office with the files, Clark tells him that his blonde flunky has some pretty strong opinions about his guilt...and as Blair sheepishly realizes that she's just been flippantly speaking her mind directly to the client, Katt asks Clark to wait for him in the conference room, then shoots the stink-eye at Blair and tells her that from now on she's to keep her opinions to herself. She argues that it's pretty clear Clark Darrin is the killer, given that he had the means, motive, and opportunity, to which Katt retorts, "You've stated the prosecution's case very well, Unfortunately, we are the defence." And instead of just shutting it, Blair chucklingly acknowledges that, yeah, if she's going to be working here she's surely going to have to pretend that the firm's clients are always innocent, and Katt sternly tells her she has to actually believe it...then reminds her what it felt like when her law school classmates assumed that the two of them were bumping uglies. He reverently adds that the country's judicial system works so brilliantly because everyone is considered innocent until proven guilty.
Natalie is practicing her public speaking skills in front of Tootie, Beverly Ann, and Pippa...and for some reason is too nervous to speak even in front of a tiny audience of her closest pals. Tootie shares a performance trick to appear less nervous: imagine the audience naked [I guess in lieu of just being well prepared and respecting the audience enough to want to engage them during an informal ten minute speech]. Natalie says she's willing to go down the nude route...then can't stop laughing at the pretend spectacle of her three naked friends. After the laugh track runs its course with that, Blair phones to inform the Facts gang that she's invited Clark Darrin to have dinner with them tonight, and they're all, "You did wha-a-a-at?!" and exchange worried glances about the prospect of dining with a killer.
The Facts gang is nervously setting the table for dinner, putting out dull spoons as the sole form of cutlery...and a wigged out looking Beverly Ann proposes that, from now on, no one be allowed to invite a murderer over for dinner. A few seconds later, Blair arrives with Clark and introduces him to everyone, and he notices their nervousness and says he totally gets that him being at their house must be awkward...and Tootie breezily says that since her parents are both lawyers, she's totes used to meeting alleged criminals. Beverly Ann carries out a giant roasted turkey on a platter...and when Clark takes the large knife from her to carve the bird, everyone takes cover under the table and pretends as though they're all searching for a contact one of them just lost. Clark does his best to ignore their cartoonish jumpiness and changes the subject by asking everyone what they're studying. Tootie deadpans, "Karate", while Natalie gabbles about her Communications 102 class and calls it "a real killer" before being all, "Oops, I said killer in front of an actual killer!" Beverly Ann asks Clark about his hobbies, so he tells her he's into fishing and backpacking...and Pippa decides it's that this is perfect moment to just come right out and ask, "What is the sting for croaking someone in this country?" Clark decides that being accused of murder in Aussie-speak is the last straw and angrily tells Blair he thought she was inviting him somewhere he could enjoy a meal without everyone acting as though he's already convicted before his trial. After he storms out, a miffed Blair sarcastically tells the Facts gang she hopes they're happy about driving their dinner guest away, and a relieved Natalie's like, "I know I am!" and rushes across the room to deadbolt the door. LOL.
Katt looks impressed when he finds Blair burning the midnight oil in his office, then tells her that Barkley is going to take the stand tomorrow and likely blow their fragile case out of the water. Blair says she may have found something interesting in the large stack of papers she's been poring over, namely that Karina's failing fashion design company took out a $2 million policy on her life. When Katt just kind of shrugs and says that since the company took out the policy no single person can benefit from her death, Blair insists that has to mean something. She agrees to take the pile of financial records home with her so that she can continue with her in-depth analysis and come up with a defence strategy that even the most seasoned Harrison & Joseph attorneys wouldn't have thought to cobble together.
Jo finds Blair in the living room, doggedly working on the Darrin case, and remarks on how she's been spending all of her free time on Clark's legal defence. Blair tells Jo she's beginning to think that Clark didn't commit the murder, despite Katt assuming that the man is as good as convicted [I guess ignoring his own edict to fervently believe in every client's innocence]. A few seconds later, Natalie returns home and tells them that Tootie arranged for her to rehearse her Communications 102 speech to an empty Langley Stadium. Blair chews on that for a few seconds and asks the Facts gals if they wouldn't mind helping her with a courtroom rehearsal. She cross-examines Clark (Jo) about why he'd murder his wife for money if she didn't have any, and Jo scowlingly replies, "Dunno. Maybe I didn't like her face." Natalie, who had agreed to play Karina's lifeless corpse, says, "I don't want to be dead anymore", prompting Blair to wonder if Karina faked her own death in order to pocket the insurance money after her company gets liquidated. Blair looks intrigued with this theory and says it's all making sense now, then gets a glint in her eye as she wonders aloud what would happen if Karina were to show up in court to witness the proceedings. Hmm...a tidy acquittal perhaps?
The next day in court, the prosecution is asking Barkley about Clark's history of violent outbursts...and when it's Katt's turn to cross-examine, an unrecognizable woman wearing a giant veiled hat enters the courtroom and takes a seat. Blair quickly fills Katt in on her plan, and he calls it "the sneakiest, most unprofessional, insane idea I have ever heard", then adds, "It better work." He resumes his questioning of Barkley, noting that Karina's body has never been recovered, which means it's quite possible she's still alive...and maybe even inside this very courtroom! He points out that the insurance company would be required to make the $2 million payout if Clark were convicted of his wife's murder, then accuses of Barkley of hatching a nefarious plot with Karina to pin her murder on her husband. Katt then strides over to where the veiled woman is sitting and demands to know if she was part of the charade...and a panicked looking Barkley blurts out, "It's a bluff, Karina! Don't say anything stupid!" ... then glances around as he sheepishly moans, "Like I just did." The dismayed judge orders the bailiff to take Barkley into custody pronto.
Blair tells Clark that the veiled woman is actually her friend Tootie - just as Tootie rushes into the courtroom to apologize to Blair for her tardiness and explain that she and Natalie got held up at the college. A startled Blair's all, "Then whooooo is the woman behind the veil?" ... riveting the studio audience with that fleeting mystery until Beverly Ann dramatically reveals herself as Undead Karina and waxes on about how she's always wanted to be an actress. Tootie thanks her for covering for her - just as the judge dismisses all charges against Clark. As the spectators file out of the courtroom, Katt pulls Blair aside and gushes about what a great job she did on the case, and that she can count on two things:
Blair chuckles good-naturedly at her lowly intern status and wryly suggests to Katt that he could at least buy her a cup of coffee as a thank you, and he happily agrees to that fair price.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!