The Facts of Life - Season 9, Episode 3

"Blair couldn't have slept with a married prof...given how judgily she disapproves of other Facts gals having sex with their long term boyfriends."

"Rumor Has It"
Original airdate: 10/17/1987

Episode summary: Blair is mortified when salacious rumors about her and her law professor begin circulating all over campus.

---

Recap: Jo is looking through an old family photo album and telling Beverly Ann that she'll be absent for much of this episode 'cause she has a family reunion in the Bronx to attend. A few seconds later, Blair enters the room and requests an opinion on how much more intellectual she looks with reading glasses on...and Beverly Ann says that the glasses definitely make her look scholarly and sophisticated, though not terribly sexy. Blair chews on that for a few seconds and takes the glasses off and citing as an excuse that she wouldn't want her bespectacled face to intimidate her classmates. When Jo makes an as if type crack, Blair haughtily insists that she's fully capable of holding her own in law school...and Jo agrees that even though she's up against some of the brightest students in the country, she's surely going to do just fine.

Natalie complains to Tootie about how, as a freshman, she isn't allowed to take the classes she really really wants to take, and Tootie just shrugs and is all, "That's just the way it is", then explains that freshman have to take a series of required courses before they can jump into the more interesting stuff. She then smugly informs Natalie that freshman aren't allowed to park on campus [which seems like a bizarre policy], and Natalie reacts by meekly agreeing to catch a ride with her.

Over at the law school, two catty gals are cackling about their instructor, aka a man-slut who's cultivated a reputation as a brazen womanizer and "believes in the hands on approach to teaching". A few seconds later, Blair arrives and chides a man (she assumes is a classmate) for not exercising a "ladies first" policy when he tries to wedge himself through the door at the same time as her...before she sheepishly realizes that he's the course instructor. Professor Katt strides to the front of the classroom and welcomes his students to Contract Law, then sternly warns them that they're going to have to work extremely hard if they expect to pass his class. The two catty gals cackle about "what it takes" to do well while under his tutelage...and when Blair asks them to shut it, Professor Katt pauses his lecture to ask her whaddup with her talking - an exercise in selective hearing since he's pretending as though he didn't catch the catty gals' crack about his legendary grab-handsiness - and Blair gets all red-faced and tells him he's doing a great job, and to please continue on with his lecture.

"Anything interesting you'd like to share with the rest of the class?"

"Nope. I was just getting a crash course on your tainted image."

Professor Katt asks one of the students to review the points of a case he had assigned them to read...and during the course of the subsequent discussion, Blair puts her glasses on to look extra smart as she takes issue with one of her classmate's points. Professor Katt wanks her about making a good argument - even though, ultimately, seven out of two Supreme Court justices disagreed with it. As the class wraps up, the cattier gal wonders aloud to her other catty pal why Blair is trying so hard, given that "her daddy already bought her an A" ... and Blair ignores the trash-talking and makes a beeline over to Professor Katt so that she can continue arguing her point. He brusquely tells her that class is over...but when she looks visibly crestfallen, he agrees to further discuss the case during his late night office hours. He tells her to drop by his office at 9pm, and she decides that nothing bad could come of meeting with him so late in the evening and happily chirps, "See you then!" 

Tootie and Natalie return home, where Beverly Ann is happily responding to a PTA questionnaire from Andy's school. A few seconds later, Blair enters the residence and mentions that she's meeting with Professor Katt later to discuss a case...and Tootie grimaces disapprovingly and informs her that word on the street is that Professor Katt is a shameless cooze hound who cheats on his wife every chance he gets. Blair insists that while she can only assume Professor Katt finds her attractive, she's pretty sure he's the kind of guy who can exercise the self control that's needed to resist making a pass at her. 

Blair arrives at Professor Katt's office and makes it a point to sit as far away from him as possible...but during the course of their discussion, she ends up on the couch beside him, joyfully bantering about the case. As the two share a chuckle, Katts's wife Rebecca enters the office unannounced and is all, "A-ha!" at the sight of them seated next to each other [fully clothed while discussing the law]. Blair assures her that nothing resembling hanky panky was occurring just now, and Professor Katt implores his wife to put a pin in her irrational accusation until they get home. Rebecca ignores that and wails about what a two-timer he is before snarling at him to get a hotel room for the night...and Blair wisely beats a hasty retreat, but in the process clumsily spills the contents of her bag onto the hallway floor. The two catty women from the law class, who just happen to be standing outside of Professor Katt's office at that late hour, chuckle at the spectacle they're about to mis-characterize and spread across campus.

"Busted!"

"You burst in way too soon for this to be exactly what I was hoping it was going to end up being."

The next day, Tootie, Natalie, and Beverly Ann are discussing the wild rumors they've been hearing about Blair's/Professor Katt's hookup, which include 1) naked sightings of the two, and 2) Blair now has his bun in her oven. Blair insists that no one was naked (or therefore pregnant), and that nothing actually happened...and says she's confident that everything will revert back to normal once the full truth is revealed.

Blair returns to her law class...and when it's obvious that everyone had just been tittering about her getting it on with Professor Katt, she sarcastically says, "Don't stop talking on my account" and insists that absolutely nothing happened between her and the professor. A few seconds later, Professor Dean Stanton enters the classroom and informs the class that he'll be their instructor for the day 'cause Professor Katt is taking a personal day. As everyone shoots the stink-eye at Blair, Professor Stanton lifts the overhead screen, unwittingly revealing what someone wrote underneath it on the chalkboard in very neat caps: WARNER PICKS UP STRAY KATT. Blair gets visibly upset at the mildly accusatory pun and abruptly exits the classroom.

Later at the residence, Blair is working the phones with the admissions offices of various law schools, inquiring about transferring out of Langley - but has zero luck finding an available spot. Beverly Ann overhears her on the phone and urges her to not drop out of law school.
​
Blair commiserates to Beverly Ann, Natalie, and Tootie that she's quitting law school 'cause she can't handle being the target of ridicule. Natalie and Tootie strongly advise against dropping out, not least 'cause she didn't actually do anything wrong...and Beverly Ann says if she were in her situation, she wouldn't let others' opinions keep her from doing something she really wants to do. Blair mulls that over, but then says she simply can't face returning to class.  

Jo returns home from her family reunion - at the same time Rebecca Katt drops by clutching a large plastic bag. When Blair enters the room and asks Rebecca what in blazes she's doing here, Rebecca rips open the plastic bag, spilling a pile of her husband's clothing onto the living room floor. She angrily tells Blair that since she's her husband's new squeeze, she can do his laundry and take care of him from now on, snidely adding, "He likes his coffee strong and his women weak." Blair gathers up the clothing and says she's making a big mistake based on unsubstantiated rumors and makes it clear that she doesn't even want her idiot husband - but Rebecca doesn't buy that and concedes to Blair that she's younger and prettier than most of the skanks her shitbag husband has hooked up with, to which Blair blushingly thanks her. LOL. A dismayed Jo interjects and assures Rebecca that, sure, Blair can be a shallow, self-centered, vain dingbat - but that since she's so straight-laced about premarital sex in the most uptight of ways, it's wholly unlikely that she'd ever hit the sheets with a married professor. Rebecca's all 'whatever' and warns Blair, "One day he's going to do the same thing to you" before she huffily exits the house. 

"My goodness you're ravishing."

"Tell me something I don't revel in everyday."

A mystified Jo asks what in the actual fuck that was all about, so Blair tells her that salacious - but false - rumors about her and Professor Katt have been circulating all over campus ever since his wife walked in on them having a lively discussion in his office. When she adds that she's planning on dropping out of law school as a result of all the contrived hoopla, Jo urges her not to, then asks her if she has anything to hide...and Blair finally lets that question fully sink in before smilingly replying, "Welcome home, Jo." 

The next day at Langley Law School, Professor Katt tells his Contract Law class that dealing with the rampant rumour-mongering for the last two days has been the shits and so disruptive to the educational process and his marriage that he's ready to call it a day and resign altogether. [Seems a rather drastic move for a non-hookup, but OK.] Blair enters the classroom at that moment, calls his decision terrible, then glares at her classmates as she points out that, as budding lawyers, they really should be more adept at separating fact from fiction. True enough. As the class looks suitably chastened by their boorish behavior being called out, Professor Katt gushingly tells Blair that she definitely has a bright future as a lawyer - but still insists on leaving Langley College. Blair's like, "Well I'm not" and defiantly takes her seat while Professor Katt slinks out of the classroom.

​Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

---