The Facts of Life - Season 8, Episode 4

"You're contractually obligated to keep our foursome going until the producers have no choice to finally pull the plug on a show that should have been cancelled after Season 4."

"Another Room"
Original airdate: 10/11/1986

Episode summary: When Jo expresses a strong desire to move out, Beverly Ann and the Facts gals convince her to instead chip in for a renovation of the attic adjoining the communal bedroom.

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Recap: Beverly Ann is stripping the bedsheets in the Facts gals' bedroom and is getting so into the task that she's dancing around the bedroom, clutching a bedsheet as if it's her dance partner, when a grumbly Jo enters and shoots her a WTF? glare. Beverly Ann explains that she likes to put a little fun into everything she does, and Jo's like, "Yeah, whatever" and crashes atop her bed and says she stayed up all night studying for her poli-sci exam and wants to get some sleep before the rest of the gals get home. Beverly Ann ignores that plainly stated need and starts nattering about how crazy it is that everyone's on such a different schedule, and Jo concurs and says that the constant chaos is the main reason she's been thinking about getting her own place. Beverly Ann says it's totes understandable, given that for the past several years she's been living in the same communal bedroom for the last six years with the same three friends from boarding school, then shrieks, "I'm outa here!" and runs for the door...before she hastily returns to strip the very bed Jo's trying to nap in. As a vexed Jo stares into space with a look of incredulity on her face instead of telling the nitwit to get lost and that she's a grown ass woman who's fully capable of laundering her own bedding, Beverly Ann delays Jo's much needed nap even further by showing her a postcard she just received from Edna, who's apparently teaching sewing classes to Africans and has requested that her giant vintage sewing machine be shipped to her from across the ocean. When Beverly Ann says she can't seem to find the thing anywhere, Jo suggests she try looking in the attic, as in right now, and Beverly Ann finally gets a clue and hastily exits the bedroom.

"I'm thinking of getting my own place."

"I'm not confident that Edna, or the show's producers would approve of this life decision."

A few seconds later, Natalie bursts into the bedroom, wearing earphones as she loudly sings. Jo throws a shoe at her and tells her to shut it - just as Tootie returns with her dry cleaning...followed by Blair and her ironing board. Jo snarlingly tells her roommates that she's trying to get some sleep before she has to hit the books again...and if she doesn't get the rest she needs, she's going to fail tomorrow's exam and possibly lose her scholarship. The gals promise to keep it down while quietly going about their business - but when Blair's ironing board loudly crashes to the floor, Jo snaps, "That's it! I'm moving out!" and says she saw an ad at the university for a room for rent above a pizza parlor. A few seconds later, Beverly Ann reenters the room to ask the Facts gals (sans Jo) to help carry Edna's sewing machine out of the attic. As everyone files out, Tootie urges Jo to diffuse the rage she's currently feeling by writing an angry letter directed at whoever she's mad at, but without the intention of actually mailing it...and Jo responds by snapping at her to get the hell out so she can finally get some shut-eye.

Over in the attic, Tootie, Natalie, and Blair mill around the dusty, decrepit room, which houses Edna's vintage sewing machine, Tootie's old roller skates, and one of Jo's old motorcycle helmets. Tootie and Natalie wonder aloud if Jo is really, truly, actually serious about moving out, and Blair places the blame squarely on the two of them for driving Jo to the point of wanting to get her own place. Beverly Ann's like, "Have fun arguing 'bout that", and leaves the three of them with the task of transporting the very large vintage sewing machine down the attic stairs and into the dining area.
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Beverly Ann then eavesdrops on Jo, who's making arrangements on the phone with someone to go look at the room for rent. After she hangs up, Beverly Ann tells her that before she heads off, she'd like them to sit together and discuss this life change that would put a wrench in the show's "winning" formula of the four Facts gals living together in perpetuity under the same roof as their superfluous housemother/shop partner.

As that's happening, Tootie, Natalie, and Blair are pressing themselves against the wall that separates the attic from the bedroom, straining to eavesdrop on Jo's/Beverly Ann's conversation. As Jo complains about what a circus it is to share a bedroom with three other people, Beverly Ann points out how quiet the room is at this moment and wanks it for being "an oasis of friendship and trust." A few seconds later, Blair comes crashing through the adjoining wall and lands atop Jo's bed, prompting an incensed Jo to snarl, "Yep, I'm definitely outa here."

As Natalie and Tootie peer through the hole of what must be some pretty flimsy drywall separating the attic from their bedroom [which I guess is sort of an attic in its own right], Jo announces that she's firmly made up her mind to move out. Tootie and Natalie point out that they know from the experience of the Season 7 finale how challenging it can be to move into a decrepit apartment - just as Beverly Ann suggests to Jo, instead of moving out and risking Edna's off-camera disapproval, she take up residence in the adjoining attic. When Jo points out that it's a cramped, dusty space, Beverly Ann chirps, "Think artist loft!" and suggests hiring a contractor to fix it up to her liking. When Jo says that contractors can be expensive, Natalie offers to chip in by putting in more hours at her various temping jobs and says she too likes the idea of sharing a bedroom with fewer people. Jo mulls that over, says she'll agree to contribute to the renovation costs, provided the contractor's fee isn't too high...and Blair somehow translates Jo's change of heart to a consensus that Tootie and Natalie will be the ones moving into the attic. The two are all, "Wha-a-a?" ... but then are easily talked into it when they're assured that they'll be allowed to fix up the space exactly the way they want. 

"For your convenience, we accidentally created an adjoining entrance to the attic."

"Living atop a stenchy pizza parlor is looking more attractive by the minute."

Beverly Ann is hemming Andy's pants with the vintage sewing machine while Andy waits pants-less on the sofa. After droning on and on about how she and Edna used to watch their grandmother sew their dresses with this very machine, she asks Andy to dash into the kitchen and turn down the stew that's on the stove...and he agrees before awkwardly covering his lower half with couch pillows - just as Jo returns home and gets a gander at the pre-pubescent lad's uncovered backside. [It remains unclear why Andy wouldn't have put on a pair of pants prior to bringing over the pair that's in need of a hem.] Jo tells Beverly Ann that she's looking into getting a bank loan to pay her quarter of the contractor's fee, and Beverly Ann's like, "Yeah whatever" and changes the subject to how sad she is about having to ship the antique sewing machine to Africa 'cause of all the pleasant memories of grandma that have suddenly come flooding back. She's really not much of an empathetic listener, that Beverly Ann.

Natalie and Tootie accompany the contractor (Virgil) downstairs after checking out the attic. He says he can definitely improve the space, then needlessly compares a room in need of a reno with a naked woman - in that they all look the same until you dress them up. Blair's all, "OK, ew" [no wait - that was me] and warns that they can't actually afford to dress it up too much - but Natalie reminds her that, in just the previous scene, she and Tootie were given carte blanche to make whatever changes they want...which apparently include a skylight and brand new wall-to-wall carpeting. The contractor quotes a price of 16K...but when Blair says that that's way too ridiculously expensive, he lowers it to 4K for the most basic of upgrades. Everyone seems OK with this new reno plan and price point - except for Jo, who has no idea how in blazes she's going to come up with her share of $1,000.

As Virgil gets started with the attic reno, Natalie and Tootie head over to see how construction is going, while Andy emerges from the attic to boast about his new gig as Virgil's construction assistant - just as Virgil orders him to go out and buy him a snack.  

Jo returns home and glumly tells Blair that she wasn't approved for her bank loan, so Blair offers to loan her the money at 22% interest if, in exchange, she can move her bed to the plum spot by the window. Jo declines to accept her money under any terms and insists on somehow finding a way to pay for her share of the renovation costs.

"I don't like the idea of owing you money."

"How 'bout the idea of taking it out in trade?"

Jo stares contemplatively at her motorcycle helmet, then calls someone named Hank to let him know she's open to selling him her motorcycle. He offers to pay her just under $1,000, and she's like, "Deal!" and promises to deliver the bike pronto.

Blair asks Beverly Ann if she knows where Jo went, so Beverly Ann tells her she heard Jo say something to someone on the phone about selling her motorcycle. Blair says she can't possibly believe that Jo would ever sell her most cherished possession - but then a few seconds later, Hank calls back to inquire about whether the purchase price of Jo's motorcycle includes her helmet. Blair reacts by staring contemplatively into space, her face scrunched concernedly.

A sad looking Jo returns home...and when Blair asks her where she's been, she replies, "None of your business." Jo then notices that Blair has moved her bed to the plum window space she (Blair) had wanted and asks whassup with that, and Blair says she changed her mind for no particular reason, then smiles sanctimoniously when Jo looks pleased with her new bed location.

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