Recap: Tootie and Blair arrive at Over Our Heads, gabbing about how Tootie was just awarded the role of juggler (?) in a production at the new theater that Blair's dad just donated to Langley College. Tootie is thrilled to have the opportunity to practice her craft so close to home, and Beverly Ann tells Blair she recently met her dad for the first time and briefly chatted with him and can't gush hard enough about his personableness and charm.
Later, Blair receives a bouquet of flowers from her dad, along with a note that he won't be able to make the play's opening night to deliver the dedication speech for the new theater. Blair wearily groans, "I should have known.." and tells a perplexed looking Beverly Ann that her dickwad of an absentee father is always bailing out on her at the last minute.
The next day, the Facts gals draw Blair's attention to the front page of The Peekskill Press, on which the headline 'David Warner Indicted' is splashed. Blair's all, "Wuh??" and then catatonically zones out until Beverly Ann smacks her back into consciousness. Blair insists that the article is totes ridic 'cause her sainted father would never dabble in something as sordid as insider trading, and can only assume that someone's out to get him...and makes this pronouncement as though Papa Warner doesn't have a history of being a tax cheat, as was documented in Season 4's Daddy's Girl episode. Blair vows to do all she can to prevent her father's good name from getting dragged through the dirt, and declares that she'll proudly step in for him and deliver the dedication speech during the opening night of Langley new College theater.
Jo returns home and tells Tootie about all the gossip circulating on campus regarding Papa Warner's legal troubles - just as Natalie enters the room and rails about how the local newspaper wants to commission her to get the inside scoop on Blair and her dad. A few seconds later, Blair returns home and tells the gals she went to visit her stressed out father and bought him a tie to cheer him up.
Later, Blair is packing a bag and explaining to the Facts gals that after delivering the dedication speech at the theater's ribbon cutting ceremony this evening, she's relocating to New York to support her father during his trial. A solemn looking Jo steps towards her and breaks the news that someone from the college just called to cancel the dedication ceremony 'cause on account of the embarrassment of their donor being a white collar criminal...and as Blair rails about what ungrateful cowards they are, Jo informs her that her father just pleaded guilty in exchange for a suspended sentence. Blair reacts to the news by staring back at her in disbelief and muttering, "That's impossible" instead of being relieved at the slap on the wrist he got as a "consequence" of this rich man crime.
As Tootie heads out to star in the new theater's opening night of Woman Juggling, Beverly Ann wrings her hands about not knowing what to do about Blair's Papa's Indictment Situation. She natters that she wants to support Tootie as she practices her craft, but also wants to be on hand in case Blair needs an Edna-style heart-to-heart. Tootie's all 'whatever' and says she's totes OK with all of them staying home to support Blair - but when Blair finally emerges from her room and goes downstairs, she asks them what they're all still doing here and urges them to go to the show. A few seconds later, Beverly Ann answers the phone and tells Blair it's her dad calling, but Blair makes an ew face and says she has zero desire to speak to him and/or have anything more to do with the deadbeat. After everyone leaves for the play, Jo hangs back for a tête-à-tête...and Blair correctly guesses that she's about to chide her for acting like a pampered brat - but says, in her defence, that her dad has never let her down quite this badly before. Jo says she gets that, her dad being an ex-convict and all, but urges her to not turn her back on Papa Warner 'cause she's pretty sure he'd never turn his back on her. Blair stares contemplatively into space as she chews on that bit of life advice.
The next day, Tootie is anxiously awaiting reviews of her play performance...and when Natalie arrives with the paper, Tootie can't bring herself to look and asks Beverly Ann to read the review aloud. Beverly indulges her and begins reading aloud that, according to the reviewer, the play was the most abominable play in the history of plays with a notably shittastic script and sucky direction...and that the only bright spot was Tootie Ramsey, whose juggling sequences were so comedically horrendous that it was impossible not to laugh at the unwittingly hilarious spectacle. LOL.
Papa Warner drops by the store, is greeted by Beverly Ann, and is told that Blair went for a walk. He correctly guesses that she's not speaking to him, but insists on waiting for her to return...and Beverly Ann offers to make him a cup of coffee and pleasantly chat with him in the meantime.
Over coffee, Papa Warner tells Beverly Ann he has no idea what to do about Blair, and she says there's not much he can do, other than wait for Blair to make the next move. Papa Warner grimaces at that prospect and says it's very frustrating for him to not be able to snap his fingers and tell people to react and behave exactly as he would like them to.
Blair returns home, says hey to her dad, and tells him that she's been thinking a lot about the public shame of his indictment. She acknowledges that while he wasn't a perfect dad, he never deserted her whenever she got into trouble...and feels like it'd be shitty of her to abandon him in his time of need. Papa Warner says he's glad to hear that, then explains that his father - aka her grandfather - got so bored of being retired that he leaped back into "the excitement of the game" and took advantage of some inside information in order to reap the forbidden financial rewards. He tells Blair that since he couldn't allow the idiot to be carted off to prison at the age of eighty-seven, he stepped up and took the blame to protect him from prosecution. A stunned Blair's all, "Wha-a-a?", then beams admiringly at him as she reads aloud the dedication speech she had planned to deliver before it ended getting cancelled...and it includes a lot of wankery about how he likes to share his good fortune with others and looooves to help young people fulfill their dreams. She caps it off by telling him she's very proud of him and loves him, much like how he loves his felonious father, and Papa Warner reciprocates her I love you and gives her a grateful hug for her unconditional support.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!