Recap: At the breakfast table, Blake is reading a newspaper article to Fallon about Denver-Carrington's sudden financial woes. Geez...again? I wonder if he's ever considered that the problem is him, since he's clearly incapable of steering this company into long term profitability. Blake grumbles that a glut in the oil market is causing a delay for Denver-Carrington to get the green light from Washington to start up with its shale oil production, and orders Jeff to schedule a meeting for him with Congressman Neil McVane...then stops talking when he remembers that Jeff resigned from Denver-Carrington. Jeff says that since he's still at Denver-Carrington, wrapping things up, he'll call the congressman...and then gets up from the table and rushes off to work. Blake nods approvingly and tells Fallon he's going to miss having Jeff around, and she snortishly retorts, "That makes one of us." He reminds her that Jeff will still be staying on at the mansion, then abruptly changes topics and says he wants to discuss Adam, her brother. She rolls her eyes at the word brother and snarks, "It all seems to be official now" and Blake insists it is and says that, in the interest of avoiding any further bitterness and hostility, he wants her to fully accept Adam as her brother. Fallon asks him if he's focusing so hard on Adam 'cause he wants to forget about his other son, then says he hasn't done anything to get Steven to want to return to Denver. Blake points out that Steven is an adult and is staying away because he's chosen to...but since her other brother is currently in their lives, he wants her to stop undermining his place in their family. Blake furrows his brows and asks, "Is there something you haven't told me about you and Adam?" and she can't bring herself to admit to her father that she nearly doinked her brother. Blake takes her silence as a no, then declares, "That ends that, doesn't it?" Ugh...I sure hope so, Blake. 'Cause this incest romance sub-plot is nothing but gross.

Blake calls Adam at the penthouse and asks him to meet him in his Denver-Carrington office at 11am, and Adam promises he'll be there. Alexis sashays down the stairs decked out in a purple silk fur trimmed robe, and Adam informs her that he just got off the phone with Blake and has a meeting with him later...and she pretends not to be pissed off that the two are actively trying to establish a rapport. Adam tells her he's been getting calls from his friends on the east coast, who are being questioned by Blake's investigators, then mutters, "He's tough in the trust department." Alexis asks him why he's even bothering to meet with Blake, and for some reason this prompts Adam to challenge her trust in him.  She poutishly retorts, "What is it going to take to convince you, Adam? An oath on a stack of bibles?" so he abruptly drops the issue and starts reading the newspaper. He comes across the article about Denver-Carrington's financial woes and points it out to Alexis, and she perks up at the news.

Jeff enters Blake's office clutching a file folder that contains the paperwork associated with the contract on Denver-Carrington's shale oil loan. Blake takes it and promises to return it after his lunch date with Neil McVane. Meanwhile, Adam arrives in the reception area and runs into Jeff as he's leaving. He chirps, "Good morning!" but Jeff scowls at him and snaps, "Is it?" and stalks out...and Adam just kind of shrugs at his bitchitude and heads into Blake's office. He tells Blake he knows that refusing to accept the red sports car as a gift really bugged him...and Blake admits it did bug him, but is over it now. He apologizes for ragging on Alexis the other day and says they used to have such a strong bond...but after the kidnapping, an emotional barrier built up between them, which remained even after their other two children were born. He then claims that this emotional barrier caused them to finally divorce, which totally contradicts Alexis' testimony in the Enter Alexis episode, during which we were led to believe that Blake abruptly divorced Alexis after catching her in the sack with Roger Grimes. Blake says he hopes that his hostility with Alexis won't affect their relationship 'cause he really wants to be a father to him, and Adam just mutely stares back at him. The silence is broken when Blake's secretary buzzes and announces that someone from the Personnel Department is in the reception area to say goodbye, and Blake excuses himself and rushes out of the office. Adam notices the file folder about the shale oil loan sitting on Blake's desk, so he grabs it and quickly looks over the confidential documents. Blake returns a few minutes later and reiterates that he wants to develop a healthy father-son relationship, then asks, "Is it a deal?" and Adam chuckles about how business-like that sounds, then says it's a deal...and remarks that it's been a very special morning for him. He shakes Blake's hand, then leaves his office with a smug smirk on his face.

Alexis is at the La Mirage, dressed in a fantastic white tailored suit and large matching hat. She stares over at the tennis courts and watches Mark Jennings give tennis lessons to beautiful women. When he notices her watching him, he jogs over and says he heard she wanted to talk to him...and the two sit down at a table together. He orders a beer and asks her what she wants to talk about, so she replies, "You and my unhappy friend, Krystle." As he chuckles at her annoying persistence, she tells him she's surprised he actually moved to Denver and came to work at the La Mirage - and is taking these decisions as a sign he's still interested in Krystle. She then scrunches her face in faux confusion and says, "You puzzle me, Mark" and explains that she's been making inquiries about him at the hotel and learned that he's been keeping a very low profile. Mark refuses to answer any more of Alexis' questions and tells her to stop bugging him, and Alexis proceeds to order him to do everything in his power to woo Krystle back. Mark makes it clear that that's not happening, then wonders aloud if moving to Denver was a mistake. He drinks a few sips of his beer and stalks off, leaving behind a miffed looking Alexis. She heads back to her chauffeured car, then calls her secretary (Catherine), to confirm that she made the call to Krystle, luring her to the La Mirage by pretending that Blake wants to meet her there.  

Krystle arrives at the La Mirage and glances around the tennis courts. She's startled when she sees Mark giving tennis lessons, then has a flashback of when their marriage started falling apart. "Younger" Krystle (with her Big Valley hairdo) is waiting up in bed, and looks annoyed when Mark staggers in at 1am. She asks him where he's been, and he snaps, "Out" then tells her he was just wrapping up some business. He sits on the side of the bed and starts kissing her - and she initially rebuffs him, but eventually gets into the foreplay. She smiles and coos, "I love you, Mark. So much" and their smooching intensifies. When Krystle is jolted back to present day Dynasty, she notices that Mark is staring at her. He ambles over and says hello, and when she asks him what he's doing here, he explains that he was just hired as La Mirage's resident tennis pro. She mumbles, "I see" then asks him where Blake is, and he looks perplexed and goes, "I dunno" - which was a weird thing to ask, 'cause why would Mark know the whereabouts of a man he's never met? Krystle says she got a call telling her to meet her husband at the tennis courts, and Mark just shrugs and is like, "Whatever" and says he'd like to talk, but she declines. He stares at her intensely and says, "I know those eyes. You're not happy" and she snorts derisively and says he never could read her very well, and then snaps, "Otherwise you'd never have done what you did to me." He breezily retorts, "That's history" and she snarks, "Leave me alone!", shoots him the stink-eye, and storms off.

​Kirby Anders makes her grand debut at Carrington manor - and for some reason she's channeling Madeline [of the Ludwig Bemelmans children's book series] in a bizarre navy blue caped outfit and matching hat. She strolls around the pool area and spots a large turtle, who she addresses as Jeffrey. Cute! I'm pleasantly surprised that Blake would allow a pet turtle to be housed on his estate. A few seconds later, Jeff comes outside and says hello, and she reminds him that he used to call her Joseph's cute kid...and he looks startled and exclaims, "You're Kirby?! I'll be damned!" He gives her a hug, and she tells him he's become a very distinguished, handsome man...then recalls that she had a huge crush on him when they were kids, but he only had eyes for Fallon. She asks him how that's going, and he grimaces and says they're married in name only and both live at the mansion to be near their son. Kirby looks delighted when she learns they named him Blake and calls it "a strong name". After their chit-chat, Jeff bids her adieu and ambles off somewhere, and she leers after him until Joseph appears. She chirps, "Papá!" and rushes over to hug her father hello.

Kirby tells her Papá that she already feels very welcome at Carrington manor: Blake called her to say hey, and Krystle had flowers delivered to her room. It's unclear when all of this welcoming would have occurred, considering Kirby only stepped foot on the Carrington estate two minutes ago. Joseph wants to talk about what happened to her fiancé, but she has no desire to discuss her broken engagement. She says she didn't love Jean-Paul and doesn't want to end up like Jeff and Fallon, whose marriage fell apart despite their fantastic looks and cute baby. LOL. Joseph urges his daughter to focus on her own relationship instead of trying to set things right between Jeff and Fallon, and Kirby makes it clear to her dismayed Papá that she's back in the States to stay, and has no intention of returning to Paris or getting back with Jean-Paul. 

Jeff storms into Adam's office at ColbyCo (which is Cecil's old office) and informs his half brother-in-law that he's going to have to relocate himself so he can move his research library here. Adam puts a pin in that for now, and brings up Denver-Carrington's financial woes and suggests paying Blake's loan in exchange for information about the shale oil process. Jeff calls that a rotten idea and says that the shale oil process is far more valuable than the loan, and Adam's like, "Well, d'yuh" and says he wants to beat ColbyCo's competition at all costs. Jeff tells him that this is the same bad strategy Cecil employed throughout Season 2, until the stress of it eventually killed him. Jeff insists that there's room in Denver for two healthy oil empires, and reminds him that Blake is his father. He once again orders Adam to vacate the office and then storms out.

Blake is meeting with Congressman Neil McVane, gabbling about the thousand families who are depending on the profits of his oil shale process, and adds that these people are also the congressman's constituents. McVane tells Blake he's put out "feelers" on the situation, but Washington's attitude about oil shale has hardened. Blake orders him to "shout louder" and force the Washington bigwigs to listen, but McVane says he's pretty sure they won't. Blake tells him he's a persuasive pitchman, then orders him to fly back to Washington, like pronto, and convince the politicians to do what's in the best interest of his oil company. He reminds the congressman that he's always been loyal and helpful, and sarcastically says he's sure he doesn't want that to change. He barks, "You get out there and you twist their arms. You understand?!!" and Neil sheepishly agrees to obey and do the ogre's bidding.
​
Over at the La Mirage, Fallon is yelling at some unfortunate person on the other end of the phone line about how she needs a chef who can handle cooking for a large group of people for the hotel's upcoming opening. And if he/she can't handle it, he/she can find another job! So there! Looks like she manages her human resources the way Blake probably does.

Blake is watching Mark give beautiful ladies tennis lessons...and he must really like what he sees, 'cause he waits around to talk to him after the lessons are finished. He introduces himself and says he'd like to stop by for a game some time, and Mark says, "Any time." Fallon flounces over to say hi to Blake, and he tells her she's doing a great job with the La Mirage, and applauds her for hiring such an awesome tennis pro and gushes about how Mark is "a winner". Er, OK..? Fallon scrunches her face with concern and mutely stares into space. 

Fallon makes a beeline over to Alexis' penthouse and tells her mother she now regrets hiring Mark Jennings. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she's worried that the whole thing is going to boomerang and hurt Blake. Alexis breezily says, "You're wrong", declares the matter settled, and offers Fallon a plate of chocolate covered strawberries. LOL. Fallon declines the snack and says she's worried that Mark's presence at the La Mirage is going to negatively affect Blake, but Alexis points out that Mark came to Denver of his own accord, and that Krystle is not deserving of Blake...and the sooner they get rid of her, the better. Fallon wants to tell Blake that Mark is Krystle's first husband, but Alexis urges her to just sit back and enjoy the show.

​Kirby's in the mansion's kitchen, heating a bottle for Baby Blake. She asks Jeannette if the split between Fallon and Jeff is serious, and Jeannette nods sadly and says the two idiots can't seem to get along or agree on anything. She adds that she's filling in as a nanny 'cause neither parent can get their shit together long enough to hire a baby nurse...and Kirby looks contemplative as she mulls over this nugget.

Jeff is over at Alexis' penthouse, discussing Denver-Carrington's shale oil/loan repayment crisis. Alexis tells him she approves of Adam's idea of bailing out Blake in exchange for information, but Jeff says that Blake has probably already straightened out the whole loan repayment issue with Congressman McVane. Alexis tells Jeff he's welcome to stay at the penthouse if the drama at Carrington manor gets too intense, then gives him a saucy grin...which I find too disturbing to analyze further, so I'm just going to leave it at that. After Jeff leaves, Alexis calls up Congressman McVane...and judging from  her smirky smile, I'll assume she's up to no good.

A large bouquet of flowers is delivered to Fallon just as Adam enters her office. He tells her that the flowers are from him, then says he wants them to be friends. Fallon's like, "Why?" so he says he admires her intelligence and drive, then starts complaining about how Jeff is preventing him from making ColbyCo into a great company. He reminds Fallon that Baby Blake will one day inherit ColbyCo, and asks her if she could please influence Jeff into doing what he (Adam) wants, but Fallon says she trusts Jeff's intelligence (as it pertains to business) and says if he's fighting him, he must have a damned good reason. She then tries to flee her office, but Adam grabs her arm, pulls her toward him, and gazes creepily into her eyes. She asks, "Who are you? Who are you really?" and Adam replies, "I'm your brother. You're my sister. And we can't be on opposite sides." She says she still doesn't believe he's really Adam Carrington, so he retorts, "Then why don't we just pick up where we left off?" and Fallon looks suitably creeped out by the idea of hitting the shits with a sociopath, brother or not, and tells him to get lost.

Alexis has her easel set up on the balcony of her penthouse and is working on a new painting when Adam arrives home. She makes it clear that she (not he) will handle Jeff from now on, then snippily reminds him that Jeff is part owner of ColbyCo and therefore deserves his respect. Adam bellows, "I hate him!" and Alexis remarks that he seems to have inherited his father's violent streak. She warns him that it cost Blake dearly, then invokes all of the violent misdeeds that came to light during the Ted Dinard murder trial. Adam tells her he knows all about that and assures her he doesn't have an anger management problem. Alexis seems satisfied with that and invites him to dine with her that evening, and promises to order him a prime rib steak the way he likes it: blood rare. That's pretty much how I would imagine Adam likes his steak.

Krystle's wandering around the flower gardens on the Carrington estate, contemplating her failed marriage to Mark. She has a second flashback in which Mark is sitting in a chair, glowering at her as he orders her to get him another drink. She refuses and tells him he's trying to drown out all the shitty things in his life. He whines about how he's a washed up tennis star who nobody gives a hoot about, blah blah...so she advises him to maybe not set his sights very high. She then notices a suitcase beside his chair and asks him where he's going, and he tells her he's off to Mexico and will send her a postcard, then file for divorce. He snarks at her again to get her a drink, but she refuses and glares at him. When her mind returns to present day Dynasty, she's startled when she realizes she inadvertently stabbed her finger with a thorn on a rose stem. 

Krystle arrives at La Mirage and barges into Fallon's office. She sarcastically thanks her step-daughter for arranging for her to run into Mark yesterday, and Fallon's all, "Wha-at are you talking about?" Krystle doesn't believe she had nothing to do with it and laments about how she's tried so hard to be her friend, but finally realizes it's a lost cause. Well d'yuh, took you long enough. She tells Fallon that her "little surprise" regarding the run-in with Mark fell flat...and furthermore, she doesn't give a rat's ass if her ex-husband works at the La Mirage 'cause she's married to Blake now. She gives Fallon a squinty-eyed stink-eye, then storms out of the room...and Fallon stares after her, looking amused.  

Jeff's boxes arrive in Cecil's old office at ColbyCo, and Catherine is about to unpack them when Adam rushes in and orders her to keep everything packed 'cause he's having the office repainted...even though all the walls are wood panels, and painting over them would be weird. Catherine tells him that Cecil had the entire office redone shortly before he expired, but Adam insists it still looks dingy and could use a coat of paint. It looks dingy 'cause it needs lighter colored drywall walls, not wood panels, but I guess that's besides the point.

Adam is at a paint store, asking about a particular compound. The salesclerk locates it for him, but warns him it could be dangerous if inhaled, and could distort a person's mental capacity. Adam adds that it can also affect a person's central nervous system, then says he's A-OK with all that toxicity. LOL. He pays for the toxic compound and paint, then goes on his merry way. 

Recap: Blake and Krystle return to the mansion after spending the evening attending a business dinner. Blake chides Krystle for being withdrawn the entire time, and she retorts, "I didn't feel like smiling." He invites her to the study for a brandy, but she declines and says she just want to go to bed.

Blake finds Jeff lounging in the study, and both men pour themselves a drink. Jeff tells Blake he's been unable to reach Congressman McVane for days - and his staff in his D.C. and Denver offices don't seem to know where he is. He suggests going over McVane's head in order to solve Denver-Carrington's shale oil quandary, but Blake shuts that down and says McVane owes him a lot, then grumbles, "He'd better come through." Jeff tells Blake he'll try to contact the elusive congressman in the morning.

Krystle's lying in bed, staring pensively at the ceiling when Blake enters the bedroom. He asks her whassup with her bitchitude, then grumbles about how he has his own problems and isn't in the mood to play games. She sneers, "What about tennis, Blake?" and he's all, "Wuh?" so she tells him she knows he met the tennis pro Fallon just hired. He's like, "Yeah, so what?", recalls that the man's name is Mark, and doesn't get why this is an issue. Krystle explains that the pro's name is Mark Jennings, and that she used to be married to him. Blake's all, "Wuh?" and then Krystle's all, "Wuh?" when it becomes clear to her that Blake has no idea who Mark is. She tells him she assumed that he and Fallon hired him in order to play games with her - which is a totally reasonable assumption, since it's exactly the kind of mindfuck Blake would perpetrate against his own wife. She looks relieved and hugs him, and says she loves him and wants nothing to come between them. Blake goes, "Why should it?" and reminds her that Mark is part of her past, the way Alexis is part of his past. Krystle recounts that Joseph got a message from some unknown person, asking her to meet him (Blake) at the La Mirage...and she's pretty sure Fallon was the one behind the ploy to orchestrate the "chance meeting" between herself and Mark. Blake mulls that over for a few seconds and asks her why she thinks Fallon is the culprit, so Krystle points out that the obvious, which is that La Mirage is her hotel. Blake reminds her that he's the owner of the hotel, then gruffly announces that he wants Mark fired - but Krystle tells him it's probably not necessary and that she's just relieved that he (Blake) wasn't part of this conspiracy to torment her. Blake says he's very glad they talked this out, then gives her a long hard smooch and steers her over to the bed. Ewwww.

The next morning, Jeff runs into Fallon on his way to work. The two snipe at each other for a few minutes, blah blah - and after Jeff leaves, Kirby emerges from one of the downstairs rooms and greets Fallon. Surprisingly, Fallon looks happy to see her and marvels about how much she's grown up from the scrawny kid she used to be and exclaims, "You're competition!" She says she wishes Steven could see her, and Kirby tells her that Papá wrote her about Steven leaving Denver in a huff. She asks where he went, and Fallon sadly replies that she has no idea. Kirby says she's confident he'll return one day, then gushes about Baby Blake, who's as handsome as Blake and beautiful as her. Fallon thanks her for the shameless brown-nosing and says she's on her way upstairs to give the tot his bath...and Kirby offers to help and tells her about all the nannying and baby care she did during her stint in Europe. Subtle, Kirby. 

Up in the nursery, Fallon gets Baby Blake ready for his bath and gives Kirby the dish on her separation from Jeff. Kirby pretends she had no idea their marital problems had become so serious, then tells her again how much she looooves taking care of babies. Fallon stares at her thoughtfully and tells her that she and Jeff have been looking for a nanny, then dismisses the notion and says she'd be way too overqualified for the job. Somehow I doubt that. Kirby says she doesn't care 'bout that and wants the job, and Fallon hugs her and tells the smirking Kirby that she's very grateful for this favor.

Fallon joins Blake in the dining room. [Incidentally, I wonder whatever happened to the long ass dining table that Fallon, Blake, and Steven ate at during the pilot episode..?] Blake informs Fallon that Krystle told him all about Mark Jennings being her ex-husband...and Fallon assures him she had no idea who he was when she hired him, and only discovered his real identity when Krystle barged into her office and accused her of purposely hiring her ex. Fallon also denies leaving a message for Krystle to show up for a fake rendezvous with Blake at the La Mirage in order to orchestrate a bump-into with Mark. Joseph suddenly enters the room to hand deliver a letter that just arrived for Fallon. She rips it open and exclaims, "It's from Steven! He's in Hong Kong!" As duhn! duhn! duhn! type music starts up in the background, Blake scrunches his wrinkly face and is all, "Wha-a?"

La Mirage. Alexis is decked out in a stylish tennis outfit, prancing around the resort alongside Mark. She pouts about how she's not the athletic type and would rather sit and talk...so the two seat themselves at a table on the outdoor patio and order ice coffees. Mark asks her what she wants to talk about, and she grins and replies, "What else? Krystle!" She tells him she doubts he would leave town without even seeing his ex-wife (er...wife), and he informs her that he has, in fact, seen her. She's all, "Wha-a?!" and tells him he shouldn't be ashamed of still being in love with his beautiful ex-wife...and Mark just stares off into space looking contemplative. 
​
Blake is in his office, barking at whoever he's on the phone with about locating Steven in Hong Kong. Krystle (who's lurking about his office) points out that Steven's isn't actually in Hong Kong; apparently, the letter was delivered by a friend of Steven's who had recently traveled to Hong Kong. Blake grumbles that the letter made it clear that Steven still hasn't forgiven him, and Krystle urges him to give it time. She then offers to take him out for lunch, but he tells her he wants to hang around the office in case Congressman McVane calls. Krystle heads out and reminds him that they're scheduled to attend Fallon's grand opening party at the La Mirage tonight. 

Over at ColbyCo, a painter is busy at work, painting a dark shade of blue over all the wood paneling in Jeff's new office. Adam walks in to survey the progress, and the painter asks him why he'd want him to paint over the "top of the line" paneling. Adam snaps, "Because I like top of the line paint." The painter remarks on the paint's rancid smell and complains that it's making him dizzy, and Adam glares at him hatefully and snarks, "Then why don't you get on with it and finish the job?" Alexis pops by and asks Adam why the office is being redecorated, and Adam tells her it's a "gesture of welcoming" for Jeff. She looks pleased and says she likes that he took her advice to heart, then solemnly adds, "We have enough enemies without inventing new ones."

Krystle arrives at the Westlake Costumers shop to try on her outfit for Fallon's Roaring '20s party at the La Mirage. By scripted coincidence, Alexis is in the fitting room next to her...and the fitting rooms are strange little cubicles that only go up to shoulder height. Weird. Alexis gabbles to Krystle about how fun the 1920s probably were, but Krystle looks as though she's barely listening. A few seconds later, the two exit the fitting rooms at exactly the same time and - surprise surprise - they're both wearing the same slinky dress. Alexis chuckles and asks Krystle if she's really secure enough to be seen in the same costume as her (LOL), but Krystle assures her she isn't worried about any negative comparisons. The two then decide that they really don't want to attend the party looking like Bobbsey twins, so they flip a coin and Krystle wins the toss. She exclaims, "I win!" and Alexis grins and says, "For now, but the party's not over yet." Krystle stalks out of the store with her costume...and as she's making her way to her car, Mark Jennings suddenly appears. He tells her they need to talk and invites her to get a coffee with him, but she refuses. She tells him he has no rights where she's concerned, then reminds him that he walked out on her. Alexis, meanwhile, is watching the exchange from the store's window, grinning evilly.

At Carrington manor, Krystle is putting the final touches on her Roaring '20s costume when Blake enters the room in a tux. He gushes to Krystle about how beautiful she looks, then frets about not being able to reach Congressman McVane. Krystle urges him to forget about McVane for the evening and focus on having a good time at La Mirage.

The Roaring '20s party is in full swing when Krystle and Blake arrive. Fallon flounces over to them wearing a sparkly red flapper costume and a funky red wig...then says she has to go make her welcome speech to her guests. The speech is mostly a public wanking of Blake, who she thanks for handing her a top level job she was in no way qualified for and did absolutely nothing to deserve. After that, she orders everyone to get happy and pronounces, "The name of the game at the La Mirage is pleasure!"

Alexis is sashaying around her penthouse, decked out in a gorgeous silver flapper dress with a matching headband and ginormous earrings that hang to her shoulders. Congressman McVane arrives, and makes it clear to viewers that the two have had a sordid past (gross)...and that he's her date for the party. She pours him a glass of champagne and asks him how his trip to D.C. went, and he tells her he got what he went for, then gripes, "I'm going to owe a lot of favors I'd rather not have to repay." Alexis gives him a poutish smile and says, "Who knows...things could change." She adjusts his tie, and when he leans forward to sneak in a little tongue action, she stops him and says she doesn't want them to be late to the party.

At the party, Fallon introduces Blake and Krystle to some count named Pierre...and then Blake ushers the count across the room to introduce him to someone important. Fallon remarks to Krystle that the count stared hungrily at her - but since she's Blake wife, he probably won't try anything. A bewildered Krystle opens her mouth to retort, but before she can get anything out, Fallon flounces off. Meanwhile, Alexis and Congressman McVane arrive at the party. Fallon heads over to greet them, and McVane compliments her superb party planning abilities.

Adam arrives at the party and tells Fallon how great everything looks...and a few seconds later, Jeff appears and offers a similar compliment. Jeff then turns to Adam and asks him why he's having his office painted, and Adam repeats his bullcack about it being "a gesture of welcome", then smugly saunters off. Fallon scrunches her face in distaste and warns Jeff to tread carefully with that sociopath. 

Mark arrives at La Mirage and notices Krystle and Blake dancing together. Krystle spots him staring over at them and tells Blake they're going to have to deal with this sooner or later, so the two amble over to where Mark is standing. Blake greets him politely and says he's still interested in playing some tennis, and Mark goes, "Any time." With that settled, Krystle says she wants to continue groovin', and she and Blake return to the dance floor.

Alexis hands Congressman McVane a La Mirage room key and bats her eyes at him suggestively, and he grins delightedly while his penis stiffens.

Kirby arrives at the party and comes face-to-face with Count Pierre. He's all, "Hey - I know you from partying in Europe!" but she tells him he's mistaken and scuttles off. Count Pierre insists to Fallon that he definitely knows Kirby from the party circuit in Europe and slyly adds, "She gets around." What's this? Our pigtail wearing Madeline clone "gets around"? I'm shocked...and yet completely indifferent.

Adam creepily introduces himself to Kirby and says he knows her father. She's like, "That's nice" and tells him she wants to leave the party, but he bars her from heading towards the door. Jeff happens to glance over at that moment and senses trouble, so he rushes over and asks Kirby if she's enjoying herself. Adam says, "She is, and she's with me" so Jeff suggests letting her decide who she's with, and Kirby tells Jeff she'd like to dance with him. As the two head toward the dance floor, Adam shoots Jeff a murderous glare.

An inebriated Mark approaches Fallon, puts an arm around her, and tells her that her Roaring '20s themed party is a huge success. He invites her to join him for a drink, and she accepts.

Blake spots Congressman McVane with Alexis on his arm and is all, "The fuck?!" and watches the two go upstairs together to indulge in a mid-party doink. Krystle walks over and asks Blake what's wrong and remarks that he looks like he's seen a ghost, and he grunts, "Something more dangerous."

A drunk Fallon decides to entertain the partygoers by dancing on the pool's diving board for what seems like a really loooong time. The guests all clap and cheer...and Fallon spots Mark in the crowd and saucily beckons him to join her. The two twirl around on the diving board together, giggling drunkenly until she loses her balance and falls in...and a few seconds later Mark leaps in after her. The two start laughing at their drunken spectacle, and Fallon gives the partygoers even more of a show when she and Mark indulge in a wet smooch. Jeff and Kirby look on with really judgey expressions on their faces.  

Blake spots Congressman McVane and Alexis returning to the party, post-doink. The congressman grins at Alexis and says tells her he's enjoying knowing her intimately again (gross), and she says she's very happy to be supporting his next campaign [in exchange for him agreeing to screw Blake over]. Blake stomps over and tells McVane they need to talk, then steers him away from Alexis, who grins devilishly.

Blake chastises the congressman for being so unreachable over the last few days, and McVane fibs and says he was busy visiting constituents. Blake grumbles that time is running out on his loan, then snaps, "What have you done about that?" McVane tells Blake he can't help him, and says that when he tried to talk to the D.C. bigwigs he kept getting doors slammed in his face. Blake questions the truthfulness of that and says, according to his inside sources, that everyone who was approached was willing to reconsider their position on shale oil production. Blake then tells him he's heard all about his sordid sex activities in D.C. (gross) and wonders if maybe he should get his investigators to look into that further.

Kirby and Jeff dance, and Count Pierre stares over at her and raises his glass of champagne as if to toast her. Kirby tells Jeff she has to go home, then pushes away from him...but in the process, she drops her purse and dumps its contents all over the floor. Adam instantly appears and helps her pick everything up, then forcibly caresses her arms and creepily comments on how silky smooth they are. LOL. Jeff comes over and deftly trips Adam so that he lands backwards on his ass...and everyone chortles at the comical sight. Adam gets up and dusts himself off, and pretends to grin in a good-natured fashion before he shoots Jeff another murderous glare. Meanwhile, Jeff walks Kirby to the door, and she gives him a grateful smooch and thanks him for rescuing her from the sociopath.

In Fallon's office, Blake pours McVane a drink and babbles some nonsense about how America will be grateful if he comes to his company's aid. Alexis suddenly barges in, smirks at the two men, and says, "And what are you two titans talking about? Me?" LOL. Blake says, in fact, they were talking about her, among other things, then urges McVane to tell her about their new deal. McVane sheepishly tells Alexis he won't be able to accept her offer after all...and by offer, I'm assuming this means he won't accept campaign contributions in exchange for not assisting Blake with his shale oil woes. Alexis laughs bitterly and bellows, "You scum! You double crossing scum!" and bitchily tells him to enjoy being a congressman while he can, then poutishly adds, "'Cause you'll be hearing from me." Blake smugly tells her that for once her boudoir charms have failed her, and orders her to stay out of his life. He shoots her the stink-eye and growls, "Or so help me, you'll wish you had."  

Mark finally gets a moment alone with Krystle and tells her they have to talk. She tells him she's looking for her husband, so he goes, "You're already with your husband." She brushes that off, assuming he's drunk, so he explains that their divorce papers were never filed in Mexico all those years ago, which means they're not legally divorced. She's all, "Wha-at?!" and accuses him of lying, so he urges her to check it out for herself. Krystle breaks away from him and rushes outside where she bursts into tears and wails into the night air, "My God. It can't be true! Can't be!" and starts weeping.

Better call Andy. 

Recap:  During a meeting with (Cecil's attorney) Gerald Wilson, Jeff is dismayed to learn that Adam has made a business deal with the Ahmed brothers. He furrows his caterpillar brows and is all, "The fuck?!" and marches over to ColbyCo to confront his impertinent half-brother-in-law.

Adam's in his ColbyCo office, booking travel plans on the Concorde when Jeff storms into his office. He demands to know where Alexis is, and Adam explains that she's in New York - and that she left him in charge until she returns. Jeff admonishes him for "cooking up a deal" with the Ahmed brothers, then orders him to call it off...but Adam's like, "No can do" and says he's already given them his word. He stares at Jeff quizzically and remarks on how bizarre it is that he works for Denver-Carrington and owns half of ColbyCo...which is a fair point 'cause it really is an odd conflict of interest. Adam tells Jeff that his hatred for Faruq Ahmed doesn't even make sense anymore, since it was proven that he had nothing to do with kidnapping Baby Blake...and that's another fair point. Damn you, show, for making me side with creepy Adam. Jeff retorts, "The man is a crook. His brother is a crook" and Adam's like, "Well, d'yuh" and says that's par for the course in the oil business. Jeff wails, "What about decency?" and Adam laughs out loud at his adorable naiveté. Jeff bitchily invokes the duplicitousness of his double identity and sneers, "Adam Carrington...Michael Torrence...or whoever you are" and Adam gets snarly and snaps, "I'm Adam!" and reminds him that Alexis and Blake believe he's their son (mmm...Blake's still on the fence 'bout that). He chides Jeff for being unable to control his temper in a business meeting - plus, he can't seem to control his woman or fulfill her sexual appetite. Hee! Jeff's caterpillar eyebrows start furrowing wildly while Adam gleefully informs him that Fallon came onto him many times at the hotel before she learned they were brother and sister. [I really wish the writers would stop bringing up this near incestuous hook up. It's beyond gross.] Jeff declines to respond to Adam's mockery and snaps, "The Ahmed deal is off!" then storms out of the room. 

Alexis finally gets a hold of Mark Jennings at the East Island Tennis Club in Long Island and asks him why he hasn't returned any of her messages. He goes, "What for?" and says he doesn't believe he's still legally married to Krystle. She chortles and poutishly calls him "a beautiful, stubborn man" - LOL - then invites him to join her for dinner later. He rudely declines, then abruptly hangs up the phone and rushes off to his next tennis lesson.  

Over at Denver-Carrington, Blake is reading through some important documents while a barber stands behind him and trims his hair...and it's a truly bizarre visual. When the barber finishes, Blake checks out his haircut in the mirror, tells him he looves his 'do, then pays him and sends him on his way. Adam telephones in response to a message Blake left for him...and Blake sheepishly says it's been a week since their unfortunate dinner - during which they both said things they didn't mean. He invites Adam to lunch, and surprisingly Adam happily accepts his invitation. Blake says he'll pick him up shortly...and after he hangs up, he stares into space with a goofy looking smile on his face.   

Mark is giving some post-lesson advice to one his clients - an attractive, flirty brunette - and threatens to paddle her "cute bottom" if she doesn't pay better attention to his instructions. Er...OK. Alexis suddenly appears on the court wearing a fabulous black and white tailored outfit and a large matching hat. After Mark dismisses the brunette, Alexis remarks that she's "pretty and nubile" and saucily asks him if she's good with her racket. He's like, "She's OK" then makes it clear that the answer is still no - to whatever she's asking. She says she wants him to leave New York and move to Denver, so he asks her if she really wants him to put Krystle through hell just so she can "gloat for some twisted reason" and she just stares back at him incredulously, 'cause...well d'yuh. He says he just wants Krystle to live her life in peace, and Alexis rolls her eyes derisively and looks disappointed that Krystle's first husband isn't a mean-spirited dickwad. She swiftly changes tactics and reminds him that he admitted to her the other night that he still carries a torch for Krystle...but he claims he was drunk when he said that. She says her investigator couldn't find any evidence to suggest that he's legally divorced from Krystle, so he explains that when they split up, he gave his last $100 to the "world's cheapest lawyer" to handle their divorce. Alexis informs him that this cheap lawyer filed a phony document, which means the divorce was never legal. She stares at him thoughtfully and says, "We still have a lot of talking to do about this." 

Blake is driving a fancy red sports car when he picks up Adam in front of ColbyCo, and Adam's all, "Wuh? I figured you'd show up in your usual limo." Blake offers to let him drive his car, then suggests they have lunch at Fallon's hotel 'cause he'd like to check on the progress of her renovations.

Jeff returns to Denver-Carrington to tattle to Blake about Adam's shenanigans, but finds an empty office. Fallon flounces in a few seconds later and goes, "Where's daddy?" and he says he doesn't know...and the two start snarking at each other, blah, blah. Blake's secretary informs the two that Blake is having lunch with Adam, and Jeff mutters that he's "one hell of a takeover guy". Fallon says she can't stand Adam, so Jeff asks her if she doesn't admire him in a perverted way. She insists she loathes the man, so Jeff points out that he has a few things going for him: good looks [meh], charm [seriously?], and sexiness [not with that hair]. He asks Fallon if she found him sexy while he was staying at her hotel, and she haughtily snaps, "How dare you talk to me like this!" and he wryly retorts, "Knowing you, Fallon, I dare."

Adam and Blake arrive at Fallon's hotel, which is now called La Mirage. I love the way that rolls off the tongue: La Mirage. Over lunch, the two engage in small talk about how politically oriented they both are, blah blah...then somehow get on the topic of Jeff. Adam remarks that he's much too pretty for a man (hee! - he kind of is) but Blake argues, "Well, he is very much a man, I assure you" (meaning not gay like Steven) and Adam nods solemnly and says, "I know." That was a really weird exchange...and speaking of weird exchanges.. Fallon comes by their table to greet Blake and glare at Adam, and Adam says he never would have pegged his "sexy little sister" as a hotel tycoon. Fallon ignores the creepy remark and tells Blake she needs to go over some private business with him, so Blake tells Adam he can drive the red sports car back into town, then tells him it's a gift! Adam's like, "Thanks, but no thanks" and Blake's all, "Wha-a?!" and asks him why he's being such a hostile turd. Adam says that before he can accept any extravagant gifts, he has to believe that he (Blake) really believes that he (Adam) is truly his son. Once that happens, he promises to stop being hostile...and hopefully he'll also stop saying weird shit about Fallon being his sexy little sister because it's making me think he still wants to doink her even though he knows she's his sister. 

Fallon rushes after Adam and chastises him for being rude to Blake. The two snark back and forth until suddenly she slaps him hard across the face. Awesome! He stares back at her with a stunned, enraged expression on his face, and she whirls around and dramatically storms off.

Mark decides he wants to get together with Alexis for dinner after all. He tells her that even if he and Krystle are still legally married, it's irrelevant 'cause whatever they had was a very loooong time ago. Plus, he doesn't think their relationship could ever stack up against what she has now: a mansion, jewelry, furs, happiness. True enough. Alexis tells him that Blake is a cold, arrogant, unfeeling douchewad...and what Krystle needs is love and tenderness. She urges him to talk to Krystle, then "warns" him that she'll probably be too proud to admit how desperately unhappy she is and how badly she needs help. She informs him that La Mirage is looking for a tennis instructor, and he shakes his head and says, "Forget it." Alexis challenges him to honestly declare that he doesn't still love Krystle...so he woodenly says, "I don't love Krystle" and Alexis calls him a liar. He then stares into space and has a flashback of when he and Krystle were together, and - ack! - her long hair "back then" was a disheveled rat's nest. He tells Krystle he loves her, and the two fall into bed and engage in some heavy petting. When he finally jolts himself out of his reverie, Alexis is staring at him curiously. He ambles off somewhere, and she stares after him with an evil grin on her face. 

Blake compliments Fallon on the fabulous remodeling job at the La Mirage. She apologizes for upsetting him earlier, but insists that she can't bring herself to believe that creepy Adam is really his long lost son. Blake assures her she'll always be his favored child and doesn't want her to worry that Adam will replace his affection for her. Fallon says the way he's trying to win Adam over is icking her out, then wonders if subconsciously he's trying to replace Steven. Blake reminds her that Steven made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with their family...but he's hopeful he'll change his mind and return to Denver as a straight man. He reiterates to Fallon that he doesn't want her to be suspicious about Adam, then urges her to show him the respect he deserves as a Carrington son...and she mulls that over while staring contemplatively into space.
​
Krystle's in the nursery, cuddling Baby Blake, when Jeff enters the room. He also gives the tot a cuddle, then reminisces about how young he and Fallon were when he first fell in love with her. He acknowledges that they got married for the wrong reasons and says the only reason they're even on speaking terms now is 'cause of the baby. Krystle says she's supportive of Fallon's career choices and says maybe they could still end up together. He's like, "Nah, it's over" but then admits he's having a problem falling out of love with the nitwit. Krystle looks contemplative and says, "In a way we don't" and tells him it's possible to love more than one person in life. She then tells him about how she married her first love and thought she'd never recover from the breakup when it ended...but then things improved when she landed her millionaire sugar daddy.

Mark is giving tennis lessons to another lovely woman, this time a blonde. He stares at her from across the court...and suddenly he's imagining that she's Krystle in a tennis outfit, and he just stands there, gazing lovingly at her. The blonde woman asks him whassup with his vacant staring, so he quickly ends the session so he can enjoy another uninterrupted Krystle flashback. This time it's of their wedding night in a cheap motel (classy!), and Krystle is faking a grisly sounding Ohio/Midwestern accent. Mark coos about how beautiful she is, then tells her not to be nervous about losing her maidenhead...even though she looks pretty old to still be a virgin. She bats her big doe eyes at him and says in her breathy sounding voice, "I trust you, Mark. With my body, my heart, and my soul." He promises to be gentle, and the two engage in foreplay for what seems like a really loooong time. When Mark transports himself back to present day Dynasty, he continues to look lost in thought.

Krystle enters the study while Blake studies various baby photos of his kids, desperately trying to detect a resemblance between Adam and his other children. I wonder why he doesn't insist on a blood test, the way he did when he and Fallon weren't sure if they were really father and daughter. He tells Krystle he's still very annoyed that Adam wouldn't accept the red sports car...plus he just moved into Alexis' swanky penthouse - and Blake is paranoid about her poisoning Adam's mind against her. He also continues to be annoyed that Fallon doesn't believe Adam is really a Carrington...and the reason it irks him so much is 'cause he thinks she always has such awesome intuition about people. (He'd probably call that into question if he knew how close she came to doinking her brother.)

The next morning, Krystle heads over to the La Mirage with a gigantic fur thing slung over one shoulder - which, for some reason, I find totally distracting in this scene. She bitches at Fallon for upsetting Blake about the whole Adam situation, and Fallon retorts, "What does any of this have to do with you?" Krystle snarks back that she's part of this family and will refuse to let it go, since it's causing Blake pain. She snaps, "Keep it up and you'll be hearing from me!" and then she and her gigantic fur storm out of the room. LOL.  

Blake bellows for Joseph and tells him he needs to speak with him in private, so the two head over to the study. Blake waves a letter in the air and barks, "What the devil is this about?" and Joseph says it's about exactly what it says it's about: he's resigning. Blake snaps, "Why? Are you being mistreated in this household?" (like...aside from the tongue lashing he's getting right now) and demands to know if he's taken another job...'cause if he has, he'll match the offer. Joseph wearily explains that he's resigning because of his daughter, Kirby. Apparently, she broke off her engagement to some rich guy in France and wants to return to the States. Joseph haughtily declares that he intends to travel to France and force Kirby to marry the rich guy...and Blake chuckles condescendingly and tells him he's a snob, and advises him to be more concerned with his daughter's happiness than the wealth of her future husband. He then says he remembers Kirby well, and recalls how headstrong she is - much like Fallon. He sadly reminds Joseph how he drove Steven away...and that he appears to be going down an equally hostile path with Adam - and urges his majordomo to learn from the many mistakes he's made while behaving like an overbearing douchetard. He grants Joseph permission to invite Kirby to live at Carrington manor, and Joseph perks up and says he likes the sound of that. Blake sanctimoniously says they both have to welcome their children back into their lives, then hands him back the resignation letter.

Fallon skips over to the tennis courts at La Mirage in her tennis outfit, and - surprise! - Mark Jennings is there. Fallon watches him as he performs a series of fancy moves with tennis balls, so I'll assume he's auditioning for the job as tennis instructor. When he finishes, he jogs over to where she's standing and invites her to join him for a drink...and in the next scene, the two are sitting on the outdoor patio, discussing his awesomeness at tennis. He tells her he's a top pro - exactly the kind of man she's looking for. She looks impressed and tells him to get dressed and to meet her in her office so they can talk business.

In the next scene, they're sitting in her office...and it looks as though the job is a lock - until he accidentally drops an old photo of Krystle. He explains that she's his ex-wife who now lives in Denver and recently married a rich old goat named Carrington. Fallon's all, "Wha-a?!" and rushes out of her office...and a bewildered Mark just stares after her in puzzlement.

Fallon rushes over to Alexis' penthouse and asks her what she's up to regarding Mark Jennings. Alexis pretends not to know what she's talking about, and the two talk in mind numbing riddles for the next several minutes. Fallon reminds her mother that she mentioned needing to hire a tennis instructor...and then by magic Mark Jennings showed up, looking for a job as a tennis instructor. Alexis grins gleefully and advises her to "consummate the deal" and hire him...then informs her that Mark is Krystle's present husband 'cause the two never officially divorced. Fallon stares back at her in mute shock, and Alexis smugly says she should be thanking her for this lovely surprise. Fallon stares off into space, looking pleased yet contemplative.

Gerald Wilson grimly informs Jeff that Adam just fired him from ColbyCo. Apparently, Adam was enraged when he learned that Gerald tattled to Jeff about his deal with the Ahmed brothers and promptly canned him. In the next scene, Alexis is railing at Adam (while Jeff gleefully watches), telling him she didn't authorize Gerald's firing. Adam argues that he betrayed them, but she disagrees and says that Gerald was vital to ColbyCo. She makes it clear that from now on he has to check with her before firing anyone else. Jeff takes the opportunity to announce that he's quitting Denver-Carrington and returning to ColbyCo, and Adam pales and is all, "Wha-a?!" while Alexis coos with delight. She pours three glasses of champagne and toasts the continued prosperity of ColbyCo while Adam glowers at Jeff.

Over at Carrington manor, Blake tries to convince Jeff to stay on at Denver-Carrington and assures him he could still protect his interests at ColbyCo without having to work with Alexis...but Jeff reminds him that half of Denver-Carrington is owned by ColbyCo (from the Rhinewood stock buying debacle), so he'll do his best to protect both companies - despite the fact that they're in direct competition with each other.

Adam is still sulking about having to work with Jeff, so Alexis tells him to lighten up and waxes on about what a great guy Jeff is, both professionally and personally. Adam petulantly says he sees the man as an obstructionist who will kill every plan they want to implement...and Alexis asks him how he came to that conclusion without really knowing the man. Adam guzzles his wine and stubbornly declares that Jeff Colby is an enemy to both of them, and Alexis sharply retorts that she knows exactly who her enemies are and how to destroy them, then makes clear that she (not he) will be the one to decide whether or not Jeff is a real threat. You go, girl!

Recap: Alexis is leaving Jensen's Jewellers after a meeting with the store's owner to determine if the silver rattle Adam gave her is the same one she bought from the store twenty-five years ago. [Spoiler: apparently, it is.]

Blake's secretary announces that Mrs. Colby is here to see him, and he gets all happy 'cause he assumes it's Fallon, but then gets annoyed when Alexis enters. He tells her she's got a lot of nerve barging in like this after what happened at the will reading, but Alexis says she didn't come to discuss the will - but rather their son. Blake snarks back that he doesn't want to waste his time talking about a fake son, so Alexis pulls out the silver rattle that Adam gave her during the previous episode, waves it at him, and snaps, "Is this rattle a fake?" Blake takes it from her, studies it carefully and asks, "Where did this come from?" She tells him that Adam gave it to her...then reminds him that twenty-five years ago, she had Jensen's Jewellers engrave the rattle with Adam's initials. She informs him that during the meeting she just had at the jewellers, Jensen confirmed for her that they haven't made these kinds of rattles since the year Adam was born. She then gets a faraway look in her eyes and reminisces about how baby Adam used to play with the silver rattle...and poutishly asks Blake, "Do you remember?" but Blake doesn't answer and just stares contemplatively into space. He finally shakes his head and says he refuses to believe that creepy Michael Torrence is his son, but Alexis insists that she can "feel" he is. Blake says he doesn't want her to get hurt all over again, and Alexis snarks, "You think I'm a fool to accept him this fast, don't you?" and Blake replies, "Yes, I do." She glares at him and snaps, "We'll see who's a fool!" and storms out, and once again Blake stares contemplatively into space.

Krystle's at Jensen's Jewellers, trying on a very expensive looking necklace...and the jeweller is gushing about how fab it looks on her just as Alexis enters the store. She greets Krystle coldly and snarks about how pricey the necklace probably is, then cattily remarks that Blake probably won't mind 'cause nothing's too good for his trophy wife. Krystle explains that the necklace she's trying on is a gift that Blake selected for her to celebrate their second wedding anniversary. Alexis retorts, "Blake is as generous as you are sweet...and vicious" and Krystle just sighs pensively and tells her that her bitchitude is getting old. She heads towards the door when Alexis stops her and admits that, yeah, she resented her for being wife #2...but no more, now that she's been reunited with her first-born son. She says that nothing will ever hurt her or make her unhappy again, and Krystle shrugs indifferently and says, "I'm happy if you're happy" and snarkishly adds that she's glad she finally has something to fill her aimless existence...and that maybe now she'll keep her big fat nose out of hers and Blake's life. She then sashays out of the store while Alexis glares after her.

Alexis is lounging in her swanky new penthouse (courtesy of Cecil's death), and it's a definite upgrade from the little studio on the Carrington estate. Morgan Hess arrives to debrief her on the latest dish he uncovered about Krystle's first husband, Mark Jennings. Apparently, he played professional tennis all over the world until he retired and become a tennis instructor. Alexis tells Hess she wants proof that his/Krystle's Mexican divorce never happened, but he tells her he can't find any records to prove it did/didn't happen. She insists on something tangible, so he says in order to do that he'd have to confront Jennings in person. Alexis mulls that over and tells him not to do that, then says she'll take control of the operation from this point on. She hands him a fat check for services rendered, then brusquely dismisses him from her orbit.

Jeff arrives at the La Mirada, which is undergoing construction. Inside, Fallon is excitedly gabbling at her new designer, whose name also happens to be Billy. Jeff walks right up to her and says he needs to talk to her, so the two head over to her office. He snarks about her absence from the mansion for the last few nights, and she assures him she's been busy working at the hotel, not sleeping around. He reminds her that she has a son, so she says she spent time with him this morning, and that she calls the mansion every hour to check up on him. That's gotta be a major pain for Jeannette. Jeff grumbles at her for being a "sometimes at-home mother", so she sighs wearily and asks him what he came to the hotel for. He suddenly gets a blank look on his face and goes, "I dunno. Maybe I'm too stubborn to give up on you. I figured eventually we'd make contact" and Fallon looks icked out by the prospect and says she's pretty sure she took a job that would deliberately keep her out of the house so she wouldn't have to deal with their defunct marriage. She gives him a look of bewilderment and says, "You always push me into a situation where I have to hurt you. I don't want to." He says he's not the one who wants a divorce 'cause he doesn't like the idea of their son growing up in a broken home...and then snarks that she must be trying to escape from herself, 'cause it definitely can't be him she's trying to escape (um...can, is). Fallon just stares back at him in confusion 'cause his rants are really starting to make no sense. 

Later, Fallon is lounging in the hotel pool on an inflatable chair when - ack! - a wet, bare-chested Adam suddenly comes upon her. He asks her if he makes her feel tense or frightened, then starts babbling about a woman he once doinked in Montana who was deathly afraid of tadpoles and used to scream at them...as she did during their nights of unbridled passion. LOL...I'm pretty sure his sexual prowess is all in his head. He asks Fallon what her job at the hotel is - secretary? - but she remains vague and says she does "a little of everything". As the two climb out of the pool, he tells her that smooching clients will help her rise to the top, so she invokes "the peck" they exchanged in the hotel bar the other night, and he asks her if she'd like to get herself some more of that now. Thankfully, she breezily replies, "Once was pleasant enough" and he gives her one of his creepishly intense stares and says, "We're not through with each other, are we?" She then tells him she has work to do, and he asks her if he can see her later...but she doesn't answer and just stares back at him mutely. 

Blake and Krystle are somewhere in Montana, visiting the graveyard where Doris Torrence and her husband (Adam's faux parents) are buried, and they quickly locate their baby's grave marker as well. Blake just stares at it with a dumbfounded look on his wrinkly face, and Krystle asks him if maybe he's wrong about Adam being an impostor. Blake goes, "I dunno. We're going to have to find out" and the two head back to their private jet and fly on to Billings. Blake informs Krystle that he set up a meeting with Jonas Edwards - the doctor who signed Kate Torrence's death certificate.

Dr. Edwards tells Blake that he finds the whole baby swap storyline pretty far-fetched, and Blake snarks something bitchy in reply. He asks the doctor when he was first made aware of Kate's faux grandson (Michael), and he recalls that it was near the end of September - the very same month Adam Carrington was kidnapped. Duhn duhn duhn! Blake asks him if he recalls any bruising on the baby, and the doctor says doesn't remember any...and Blake snaps about how odd that is, since the child was allegedly in a car accident. The doctor gives him a funny look and says, "You are very hostile, Mr. Carrington, you know that?" and Blake immediately looks contrite, apologizes for his dickishness, and explains that he's just upset. Dr. Edwards looks deep in thought for a few seconds and says he always did find it odd that Michael bore no resemblance to either of his parents...and apparently Kate was fond of saying, "He was of another mould." At the time, the doctor just chalked it up to her poetic nature, but now it's making him wonder if she was a cruel babynapper who hid her crime for over two decades until conveniently confessing on her death bed.
​
Blake and Krystle are back on the private plane, enjoying an elaborate in-flight meal and drinking champagne. Blake looks weirded out by the prospect of having to accept Adam as his son and says he seemed like such an arrogant liar. [Well, d'yuh, Blake...he is part of your gene pool.] Krystle tells him that maybe he acted like that 'cause he's afraid of being rejected, but Blake says he still doesn't trust the possible impostor. Krystle gently strokes his hand and says it would be easier if he were certain that Adam isn't his son, and he sadly nods and agrees.

Fallon and Adam are on a day date, enjoying a romantic boat ride with a big picnic basket in tow...and Fallon's decked out in a ridiculously flouncy white dress and floppy hat. Adam cheekily asks her if she was tempted to see the inside of his hotel room after their flirty encounter at the pool, but she just jokes about how he probably hangs out at the La Mirada 'cause he's in search of a wealthy heiress to latch onto. He gets all haughtily indignant and retorts, "If I want an heiress, she should be so lucky to latch onto me." Bwahahahaha! Considering his mediocre looks and generally creepy aura, that's pretty delusional. He says that while growing up on Montana, he learned how to handle horses and women...and he always gets what he wants. He then gives Fallon another of his intense stares and says, "And I badly want you." Ewwww. She points out that he doesn't even know her name - which, considering they're out on an actual date, is pretty fucking weird - but he says he doesn't mind 'cause he's confident she'll whisper her name to him in the heat of passion. He then calls her exciting and beautiful and leans in and gives her a smooch. The two then make plans to meet outside the hotel bar at 7pm...

At 7pm on the dot, Fallon emerges from her office wearing a clingy red dress...and Adam appears to be thrilled by  her punctuality and starts talking about all the doinking they're going to do that evening...and he does it by referring to them in the third person, which was weird...but then, he's a really weird guy. Alexis sashays into the hotel at that moment and sees them talking, then strides over and starts gabbling about how happy she is that they've finally met. She turns to Fallon and asks, "What do you think of your good looking brother?" and Fallon and Adam are like, "ACK!!" and stare at each other in shocked revulsion. Fallon goes, "Brother..?" and Alexis says to Adam, "Didn't you know that Fallon was your sister?" Fallon shoots Adam another ew look, and Adam can't bring himself to admit to his mother how dangerously close he just came to penetrating his sister. Alexis sweeps off, blissfully clueless about the incest that was about to happen, and Fallon mutters, "My brother...my God..." and runs to the nearest bathroom to throw up.

Over at Carrington manor, Fallon is railing at Blake about how impossible it is that Michael Torrence is her long lost brother. Blake asks her how she can be so sure of that...then says that he too has had his own doubts, but is slowly starting to come around. Fallon shrieks, "He can't be!" and Blake asks her why she's so angry...but she doesn't answer 'cause she's probably too embarrassed to admit that she almost hit the sheets with her brother. Blake says he owes it to himself to get to know his son and will do his best to mend fences, but Fallon bitchily declares that she has no intention of ever seeing Michael/Adam again and storms out.

The next morning, Fallon runs into Adam just after he checks out of the La Mirada. When she tries to avoid him, he asks her why she's being so bitchy toward him and reminds her that were it not for Alexis' intervention at the hotel the other night, he could have doinked his own sister. [I think that's why she's avoiding you, idiot.] He says, "In some parts of the world. they kill people for that." Er...maybe, but mostly it's just plain gross. He assures her he didn't know who she was when he started flirting with her, but she accuses him of falsely claiming to be Adam Carrington. She declares that she has only one brother - Steven - and that he's a good and decent person. Adam smirks and says, "I've heard about Steven" and I think it's safe to assume that he's dickishly mocking Steven's sexual orientation.   

Alexis installs Adam in her swanky penthouse, which Adam refers to as sumptuous. She hands him a gift wrapped box, and inside he finds a mirror engraved with the initials A.A.C. She calls it a welcome home gift and says she had bought it for him when he was a baby. She then declares that she wants them to celebrate their new life together and offers to take him shopping for a whole new wardrobe. Adam says he's not sure if he wants to stay in Denver after all, and Alexis pouts and goes, "Why? Why, Adam?" so he explains that he had a good life in Montana, a law practice, and friends. Alexis says he's her son, she loves him, and that he can find friends in Denver...and then Adam suddenly gets all judgey and asks her why she gave up looking for him. She insists that she and Blake hired a team of detectives and tried very very hard to find him, but Adam looks unimpressed and says, "But you gave up." She admits that eventually they had to, then tells him that Blake was shattered by the disappearance of his baby boy, and that losing him changed them forever. She begs Adam to stay in Denver and promises that they can have the most wonderful life together, then admits she needs him around 'cause no one (including her other kids) likes her very much. Adam mulls that over and it looks as though he might have changed his mind. The phone rings, and it's Blake's secretary with the message that the old goat is summoning Adam to Denver-Carrington, like pronto.

Adam heads right over to Denver-Carrington, and Blake greets him with an outstretched arm and an awkward looking half smile when he enters the room. Adam smiles and shakes it and says how important it is to him that he called. He tells Blake that he and Fallon have already met - but wisely leaves out the part about the near doink - and refers to her as "bright and pretty". Blake says that the last time they spoke was really uncomfortable for him...and he admits that he's still a bit uncomfortable. That said, he offers him a job at Denver-Carrington as a lawyer, but makes it clear that he'll have to start at the bottom and work his way up. Adam pretends to think it over, then declines and tells Blake that he got a way better offer at ColbyCo - haha! - and Blake scrunches his face with displeasure. 

Alexis drops in at the La Mirada as Fallon is discussing the outdoor landscaping and tennis courts with her designer. Alexis ambles over and asks her how she and Adam hit it off, but Fallon avoids answering and says she's very busy. Alexis looks over at the tennis courts and tells her they look great, then asks her if she's found a tennis instructor yet. Mmm hmm, I see where this is going. Fallon says she's still looking, so Alexis says that when she finds one, she'll be a regular customer - and Fallon says her sudden interest in outdoor sports is weird. Alexis wonders why she's being so weird about Adam and asks, "There's something more...something sibling, isn't it?" Heh. She asks Fallon if she's worried that Adam will usurp her place as Blake's pet, but Fallon stays tight-lipped about their incestuous interactions. Alexis gives up on the conversation and announces that she's off to the airport, and when Fallon says she doesn't give a hoot about where she's jetting off to, Alexis coyly retorts, "You should be curious" and flounces off.

Krystle urges Blake to invite Adam over to the mansion for dinner tonight...and Blake hems and haws for a few seconds, then agrees it's probably a good idea.

Adam runs into Jeff in Cecil's old office at ColbyCo, and Jeff politely introduces himself. He tells Adam he's looking forward to dinner at Carrington manor tonight, and Adam chuckles that, unlike his wife, he doesn't appear to be "the enemy camp". Jeff needlessly tells him he was just in Louisiana looking into some off shore oil leases, so Adam informs him that he's working for ColbyCo and that he and Alexis are also scouting oil leases. He asks Jeff to share his findings, and Jeff reminds him that he works for Denver-Carrington and that his reports are Blake's property. Adam points out he (Jeff) owns half of ColbyCo and shouldn't worry about his reports being Blake's property, and Jeff looks irked by his unethical cheekiness and says he has to get going. He says he may not be able to make it to dinner after all, and Adam sarcastically urges him to try his hardest to be there, since he needs someone there who's from a friendly camp. 

Dinner time! It's dinner for three: Adam, Blake, and Krystle. Fallon and Jeff pulled no-shows 'cause I guess they didn't want to eat with Adam. Krystle asks Adam if he'd like more wine, and he says he's more of a beer guy, and that Montana is beer country. Blake asks him to regale them with tales of Montana, but Adam just glares at him and says, "Why don't you tell me about it?" and says he knows that Blake was just there, asking about him. Blake looks sheepish and admits to traveling to Montana to look into his past. Adam says he got tipped off by a friend who thought it was really strange that his supposed father didn't believe his story. He quotes Oscar Wilde: "As for believing things, I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible", then says, "He was gay, wasn't he?" and Blake avoids eye contact and mutters, "I wouldn't know." Adam says, "We don't have too many of them in Montana" and Blake nonsensically retorts, "I wasn't looking." LOL. Adam switches gears and says he really resents him going to Montana to check him out, so then Blake snarls, "Then why the hell did you come to dinner then?" and Adam bellows, "To tell you how much I resent it!" He then gets up from the table and storms out of the mansion, and Krystle just sits there uselessly and stares over at Blake with a look of pensive concern.

Recap: Alexis is in the hospital waiting room, still decked out in her silly wedding gown and veil and trying to look despondent. Jeff wraps up a call on a nearby pay phone, then sits next to her and informs her that Cecil's funeral has been scheduled for Thursday. Alexis dabs her eyes and hunches over, and Jeff tries to ignore the scary cleavage of her frilly gown and tells her that if there's anything she needs, he's more than happy to help out. She gives him a grateful smile and tells him she's glad he's here, then marvels at his kindness. She recalls the day Blake ordered her to pack up and leave Denver, all those years ago. Apparently, little Jeff toddled into her room with a flower and told her he didn't want her to leave. Alexis kisses Jeff on the cheek and says he made a difficult day more bearable - the way he's doing right now. She then moans about what a strong man Cecil was (not counting his bum heart), then dramatically collapses against Jeff's chest and fake weeps.

In the next scene, Jeff is hanging with Blake at Denver-Carrington, and the two are quietly sharing a drink. Jeff babbles something about how he just felt Cecil's presence in his office...and he now regrets hating him so much, as well as nearly strangling him to death when he learned that he was blackmailing Claudia. He shakes his head in bewilderment and rhetorically asks, "How can I love and hate someone so much at the same time?" Blake tells him he did nothing to hurt Cecil, and Jeff sucks up and says he loves him (Blake) as a father, and will ensure that Baby Blake grows up to love and respect him in the very same way. He chuckles and adds, "Fallon oughta like that" and Blake grimaces and says they should probably discuss his train wreck of a marriage.

Over at the La Mirada, Fallon is meeting with a set designer named Bill, who she's hired to give the hotel a fresh new look. He shows her various renderings of his design ideas, and she squeals and gushes, "I love them!" She tells him she wants to turn the hotel into a pleasure palace, then offers him a percentage of the profits and $50,000. He cheekily negotiates the price up to $55,000, then grins and says, "You are going to be a fun lady to do business with." Fallon smiles at him with a goofily smitten look on her face...and it's going to be pretty awkward when she finally picks up on the unmistakable non-hetero vibe Bill's been giving off during this entire scene. 

Jeff arrives at the La Mirada to see whassup with Fallon and their crumbling marriage. When he doesn't find her in the lobby, he heads over to the hotel bar and sees her openly canoodling with her gay designer. He looks disgusted/dismayed/confused and beats a  hasty retreat.

Jeff returns to the mansion and heads up to the nursery, which I notice is now being monitored by a uniformed security guard. Jeff picks up Baby Blake, gives him a kiss and a nuzzle, then puts him back in his crib...and a few seconds later, Fallon enters the room carrying a stuffed bear. Jeff snorts and sarcastically snarks, "Oh. You're home." She tells him she just hired an awesome designer for the hotel, but he just bitches about how she never told him she was taking the job. He snidely asks her if she has any other surprises he doesn't yet know about, so she coldly retorts, "Yeah. I want a separation, and then a divorce." He asks her if this means he'll be expected to move out - um...d'yuh? - then declares that he refuses to leave his son. Fallon shrugs and tells him to pick a spare bedroom and start sleeping in there. (Isn't he already doing that?) She tells him she's very excited about her new life as a hotel proprietor, and that she thinks being fulfilled will make her a better mother. Jeff grumbles that he'd rather she stayed home full time to take care of Baby Blake, then shifts gears and mentions something about Cecil's funeral. Fallon gasps and goes, "Oh God! He died?!" LOL. Jeff glares at her and snarks that he doubts Cecil's death matters to her - him being a Colby and all - then storms out of the nursery.

Alexis is hanging in Cecil's office with Cecil's secretary, Katherine, and the two briefly bond in their grief. Fallon stops by to offer Alexis her condolences, and Alexis says she's surprised she bothered to come, given how much she loathed Cecil. Fallon says she only hated him for trying to ruin Blake - but Alexis just gives her the stink-eye and guilts her about how she refused to attend their wedding, and then didn't bother calling her when Baby Blake was recovered from his kidnapper. She says the only family member who's shown her any kindness or consideration is Jeff. Alexis smugly tells her she'll probably become a very rich woman after the reading of the will, and Fallon reminds her that she's not going to be hitting her up for any of her newly acquired cash, since she already has unlimited access to her daddy's millions. She mocks Alexis for being on pins and needles about whether or not she's a beneficiary in Cecil's will, then flounces out of the office...and Alexis poutishly contorts her lips and looks contemplative.

Krystle's wearing a weird looking flowy robe/dress thing and hanging at the lily pond on the estate when Blake comes galloping over on a horse. He dismounts and tells her he had a great ride and - ack! - we're forced to watch him walk around in very snug riding pants. Krystle tells him that Fallon called to say she'll be late for dinner 'cause she had some business to attend to at the hotel, and Blake rolls his eyes and wonders aloud how long her gung-ho-ness about having a job is going to last. (I give it a week.) Krystle chides him for treating Fallon like a doll instead of a grown up, then points out that she's trying to find herself and thinks maybe having a job is a good way to do that. Blake snaps that he thinks Fallon is just doing this to cut Jeff out of her life, then apologizes for his snappishness two seconds ago and whines that if he hadn't given Fallon the La Mirada to run, she would have left Carrington manor with the baby. I really don't get why this would be such a terrible thing. Krystle urges Blake to "bend a little", so he agrees to not be so controlling, which...as if. She then gives the old goat a neck massage - gross - and he remarks how ironic it is that both Steven and Fallon are desperate to get out of the Carrington fold - while a fake spawn (aka Michael Torrence) is so willing to fight his way in. 

At the La Mirada, Adam is on the phone, trying to track down his bio ma, Alexis. 

Bill arrives at the La Mirada with a bunch of new sketches, and Fallon glances at them and says she loves them all. Bill dishes about how he ran into her manager, who haughtily asked what he and Fallon are up to...and Fallon rolls her eyes and calls the manager "the king of status quo". Bill tells her it's clear that the man doesn't like the idea of change, but Fallon just shrugs and says he can work somewhere else if he's unwilling to conform to her pleasure palace vision. Bill informs her that he also chatted with a few of the hotel regulars, and they too told him they like the place the way it is - but Fallon doesn't give a rat's ass 'bout that either and says she hopes to attract a fresh new clientele. She gives Bill the green light to proceed with his design ideas.

Adam tells the hotel clerk he plans to check out tomorrow, then bumps into Fallon, and the two recall their recent encounter in the elevator at Denver-Carrington. He jokes that she's probably been searching for him ever since, and when she raises her eyebrow to give him a seriously? look, he quickly says, "I'm just putting you on." She snarks, "I'm putting you off" but he's unfazed by her haughty 'tude and gives her an intense stare as he invites her to join him for a drink. Somehow she's not creeped out by his inherent creepiness, and the two head over to the hotel bar.

​ In the next scene, Adam is ordering a second round of drinks for Fallon and himself, and he starts to get very touchy-feely and puts his arm around her. They have a discussion about how they both sleep naked during the summer months...and then - oh sweet baby Jesus - the two start feverishly making out. Fortunately, before things can get any blechier, Fallon abruptly gets up from the table and makes a beeline toward the exit. Adam yells after her that he still doesn't know her name, and she grins and playfully retorts, "I know you don't!" A few seconds later, Adam happens to look up at the TV and catches a news broadcast about Cecil Colby's death...and the reporter informs viewers that he died only moments after marrying Alexis Carrington. They show footage of Alexis leaving the hospital, and Adam perks up and is all, "Mama..?!" and rushes back to the hotel clerk and tells him he's not checking out tomorrow after all. He announces, "I have things to do!" and smiles gleefully.

Fallon's back at the mansion, interviewing a candidate for the position of baby nurse. Jeff enters the room, and the woman being interviewed accidentally knocks over her papers when she gets up to shake his hand. Jeff furrows his caterpillar eyebrows, tells the woman they'll be in touch, and abruptly dismisses her...and she exits the mansion, looking bewildered and befuddled. Fallon snarks, "What the hell are you doing?" so he explains that he smelled alcohol on the woman's breath. Fallon's all, "Wha-a?!" and says she may need his help with hiring a baby nurse.

Fallon flounces over to Krystle's room and asks her if it's OK to keep Jeannette (the maid) on baby duty until she can find a suitable baby nurse. Krystle says it's A-OK with her, then adds that it's not really up to her since she doesn't actually supervise Jeannette. Fallon asks her if she thinks she should be taking care of the baby herself, and Krystle insists that she doesn't think anything of the kind. She tells Fallon she should do whatever she wants...and that if she gave a rat's ass about her life, she'd blindly accept all of her life decisions. To underscore her support, she tells Fallon she just told Blake that he should let her give her faux career a chance - but Fallon snarks that she doesn't buy that and storms out of the room.  

Cecil's lawyer (Gerald) is in the study, chatting with Blake and Krystle. He tells them that for some reason Cecil wanted the two of them to be present during the reading of the will. Blake's all, "Wha-a?!" and calls it bizarre, so Gerald explains that Cecil arranged for some sort of dramatic reveal that will take place just after the reading of the will. Apparently, Cecil had a premonition that he was going to die soon, so he ordered Gerald to go to his office and retrieve a secret envelop...and when it's opened tomorrow, all will be revealed. 

Joseph arrives at the La Mirada to pick up some papers for Blake. As he's chatting with the hotel clerk, Adam overhears him say Carrington, so he rushes over to introduce himself and learns that Joseph is in charge of the household staff at the Carrington mansion. Adam asks him if he knows Alexis, and Joseph stares back at him with disdain and says if he wants to know anything about that she-devil, he should ask her himself. As Joseph stiffly stalks off, Adam looks intrigued and murmurs, "OK. I'll have to do that."

Alexis saunters into Cecil's office at ColbyCo, dressed in a black dress and veil - and she finds Katherine looking sad and clutching a big bouquet. (I really think Katherine's taking her boss's death much too hard.) A few seconds later, Krystle arrives wearing a weird looking fur thing slung over one shoulder, and Alexis demands to know what she's doing here. Krystle explains that she and Blake were summoned (from beyond the grave by Cecil - eeek!) to attend the will reading. Alexis snaps, "That's impossible!" and Krystle agrees that it is very strange...but nevertheless, Cecil did leave his lawyer with those instructions shortly before he died. Alexis asks what her connection to Cecil was and snarkishly hints that since she's so ambitious, she probably had a dalliance with him on the side - and Krystle gets indignant and says that that sounds more like something she (Alexis) would do - which, it kinda does. Krystle mocks her for pursuing Cecil when it became clear that she was never going to win Blake back, and then forced the dying man to marry her two seconds before he keeled over. Alexis gets incensed and asks her if she's accusing her of killing her husband, and Krystle looks fake bewildered and says that that hadn't occurred to her until she mentioned it just now. She and her fur thing flounce off, and Alexis shoots her the stink-eye from behind her black hat veil.

It's will reading time! Gerald reads aloud Cecil's final wishes: $10,000 and a year's salary goes to his housekeeper, and $50,000 goes to his secretary, Katherine. Alexis, his wife of two minutes, receives his estate and penthouse apartment, along with all of his business holdings. Cecil then included in his will that if his wife fails to produce an heir (say what?), then half of his business holdings will be bequeathed to Jeff. Since I'm pretty sure that Alexis is waay past the childbearing stage of her life, enjoy your newfound riches, Jeff.

Now that the reading of the will is concluded, Gerald announces that he received further instructions from Cecil, then pulls out the secret envelop. Inside is a letter informing Blake that he (Cecil) is now speaking to him from his grave. Eeek! It basically says that he's hated him ever since he stole his beloved Alexis away from him and married her...and, in the interest of payback, he now wants to share the details of his sophomoric revenge plot against him. Gerald then hastily pops a videocassette into the VCR and hits play, and we see that it's footage of Blake from The Fragment episode as he barks to Rhinewood about how tired he is of this farce. For some strange reason, this scene was re-shot with Blake standing in front of a white wall instead of sitting in the tacky Vegas suite the way it actually occurred during that episode, but I guess producers in the '80s weren't so concerned with continuity. Blake asks Gerald what that tape is doing here, so Gerald continues reading Cecil's letter, which pronounces, "I am Logan Rhinewood." He then declares that he leaves it in the hands of Alexis to take control of Denver-Carrington and bring Blake to his knees. A few seconds later, Gerald abruptly announces, "This concludes the reading of the will", then packs up his stuff and flees. LOL. An incensed Blake storms over to Alexis and accuses her of being in on the nonsensical Rhinewood masquerade, but she poutishly retorts that she didn't know a thing about it. He doesn't buy that and bellows, "You just try to take Denver-Carrington away from me! I'll fight you for the rest of my life!" 

Once everyone has left, Alexis adds a shot of liquor to her coffee. She ambles over to Cecil's chair and dramatically shakes her head and wails, "Damn you, Cecil! Damn you for dying and leaving me to take care of this myself!" She says she has no idea how to bring Blake to his knees all on her own. Suddenly, she senses that someone else has entered the room and whirls around to face the doorway and sees Adam. She asks him who he is, and he cryptically replies, "I wonder. They call me Michael Torrence." He says he came a long way to see her, and she perks up and looks intrigued. He tells her that a dear old woman/deranged kidnapper died in Billings last week...but before she kicked off she gave him something of great importance. He then pulls out the silver rattle that bears his initials and hands it to Alexis. She studies it carefully as he tells her that his faux grandmother stole him from a baby carriage in front of a store on a rainy day, twenty-five years ago...and that she told him his real name is Adam Alexander Carrington. Alexis looks stunned, and Adam tells her he recently told all this to Blake, but the dickwad threw him out of his office...and he pretty much expects her to do the same. Alexis suddenly gets faint and sinks into the nearest chair. She weakly asks him where he's going, so he tells her he's staying at the La Mirada. He says if she believes he's really Adam, she should drop by or give him a call...but if she doesn't, he'll understand and return to Billings and live out his life there. As Alexis stares over at him in mute shock, he smarmily tells her he'll always cherish setting his eyes on his real and very beautiful bio ma, and then leaves her alone to digest this startling revelation. Alexis picks up the rattle and murmurs, "Adam..? Is that you? Is it really you?" and Adam is standing right outside the door, listening and smirking.

Recap: Captain Lockwood (of the Denver Police Department) arrives at the mansion to inform Blake that he's personally handling the kidnapping investigation, 'cause even though he's a police captain, he doesn't have anything more important to do. He tells Blake he's still trying to track down Faruq Ahmed, and Blake snarls that the wily Arab is probably halfway to the Middle East with his grandson. Lockwood points out that there's no evidence he stole the child, but Blake continues to rant about the uselessness of the police department, which has been unable to locate Ahmed and/or Nick Toscanni. Well...they're SOL in the search for Nick, since - according to the Dynasty Wiki - after he leaves Blake for dead on that mountain, he's never seen on Dynasty again. 

Blake storms over to the study...and a few seconds later, Krystle brings him a pot of coffee and urges him to get some much needed rest. He snaps, "Will you please leave me alone?!" then, as usual, instantly apologizes for his dickishness. He sheepishly explains, "I guess this thing is getting to me" then encourages her to stay and hang out. Krystle gives him her usual serene smile and hugs him, sending him the clear message that his chronic verbal abuse is A-OK with her. As she pours him a cup of coffee, she asks him why he never told her about Adam, and he says it was a long time ago and he just wanted to forget about it...and it's why he never told Fallon or Steven. Krystle furrows her brows and asks, "Is Adam's disappearance why you've been so hard on Steven all these years? Refusing to understand him and his - " and Blake interjects and says, "His homosexuality?" Krystle's like, "Um, d'yuh" and points out that it's unlikely his long lost son would have also turned out gay. Blake shakes his head sadly and says, "Steven is Steven. His [gay] problem is his own." He says he slammed the door on the Adam part of his life once he gave up hope of ever finding the missing tot. He gruffly recalls, "It wasn't easy, but necessary to survive." He tells her he was struggling financially during that time, but the loss of Adam inspired him to pour all of his energy into building Denver-Carrington...and so, in a weird way, his shit-tastic company is a tribute to his first-born child.

Over in Billings, Michael/Adam tells his grandmother, who's awaiting her impending death, that she's lookin' good - LOL - but she calls him on his bullshit and says, "I'm dying, Michael." He shrugs and says, "We all are someday" and she irritably retorts, "I'm going to die, Michael!" She tells her faux grandson that she's always loved him...but, unfortunately, she's committed grave sins against him and God and must now make her peace with both of them. Michael/Adam says he doesn't believe she's a sinner, so she confesses her grave sins: she stole him from a baby carriage in Denver twenty-five years ago, then brought him to Billings and pretended to everyone that he was her grandson. She wails, "You were the Carrington baby!" but he shushes her and tells her not to upset herself with that kind of talk. She says she expects to kick off any minute now - which makes the timing of her confession pretty fucking convenient for herself, since she'll never have to face the consequences of a heinous crime she's been perpetrating for two and a half decades. She tells him to go and "collect his birthright", then instructs him to open the bottom drawer of her chest of drawers. Michael/Adam opens it and finds a silver baby rattle with his real name initials: A.A.C (Adam Alexander Carrington). Faux Grandma tells him it was clutched in his tiny hand when she stole him, then instructs him to say, "I am Adam Carrington"...and he stares intensely at himself in the mirror and dutifully repeats the phrase. She then tells him to go home to his real parents - and it doesn't take much convincing for him to agree, considering how ultra wealthy his bio family is.  

Fallon is standing over her missing son's crib, looking mournful as she presses his baby blanket to her face. When Jeff ambles into the room, Fallon tells him she's been taking stock of their very rich son's nursery. She says that Blake has worked hard for them to be so rich, and that it never occurred to her that people might hate him for that. Oh honey. People hate Blake 'cause he's an arrogant, self-entitled, rude dinkwhistle, not 'cause he's rich. Fallon deduces that rich people's babies can get stolen like jewelry, then says she probably would have had an abortion if she'd known about Adam's kidnapping...or if she'd known she'd be enduring all this pain after the current kidnapping. Yeesh. I hope Baby Blake never finds out how close he came to never being born. 
​
Alexis is roaming around the mansion (I guess she's been granted full access again), and she runs into Blake and tells him she got a room at the hospital so she can be near Cecil. She says she's headed there now, in case he has any updates about the baby. Blake tells her to pass along his good wishes to Cecil and adds that he's sorry she had to postpone her circus-like wedding. She poutishly shakes her head and says the only thing upsetting her now is her missing grandson. She smugly adds that Cecil insists on marrying her, like asap, from his hospital bed...even though I seem to recall that she was the one doing all the insisting [during the previous episode]. Fallon appears on the staircase and sullenly asks her parents why they never told her she had a kidnapped brother. Alexis admits she had a right to know, then throws Blake under the bus when she claims she was forced to leave town before she could tell her. Blake ignores the passive-aggressive jab and tells Fallon he didn't want her and Steven to grow up fearing for their safety. Fallon nonsensically snarks, "Well...maybe if you had told me, I could have protected my own son" and stalks off.

Joseph informs Krystle that Claudia's MIA - plus, he just received a message from the funny farm Nick arranged her to be sent to. Apparently they have an opening starting tomorrow. Hurray! And not a moment too soon, I might add. Krystle mulls that over, then heads over to Claudia's room, which she finds completely empty. She goes downstairs to confirm to Joseph that their nutty house guest has definitely moved out. He's like, "Whatever" and informs her of the latest development in the kidnapping case: Captain Lockwood just called to announce that he has a suspect in custody.

Over at Police Headquarters, Faruq Ahmed is raving to Lockwood that he's being treated like a common criminal even though he's a guest in this country. Lockwood rolls his eyes derisively, then orders him to shut up and explain what he was doing at the Carrington estate yesterday. Faruq vehemently denies that he was there, but admits to meeting with Blake at Denver-Carrington earlier in the day. Lockwood asks him if that meeting ended with him threatening the Carrington family, and - ack! - for some reason, Blake is in the interrogation room, staring daggers at Faruq. Lockwood informs Faruq that Blake's grandson was kidnapped yesterday, and Faruq just stares blankly at him and asks, "So...what does that have to do with me?" An enraged Blake demands answers...and when it's clear that none are forthcoming, he barks, "I'll kill you!" and lunges at Faruq. A police officer restrains Blake, who then demands to know if Faruq was at his house yesterday. Faruq snaps, "No!" so Lockwood tells him he has a squirrelly eye-witness (Claudia) who can disprove that. Faruq eyes him worriedly, then admits that, yeah OK, he was at the estate - but he didn't actually enter the mansion. He smirks at Blake and says his daughter is fertile and can just have another baby. Blake barks, "Miserable scum!" and lunges at him again - and Lockwood orders the officer to get him outta there...and by him he means Faruq, even though Blake's the one who's doing all the attacking. After Faruq is dragged out, Lockwood tells Blake his gut is telling him that Faruq had nothing to do with his grandson's kidnapping...and Blake mulls that over and gruffly wonders aloud, "Then who?"  
​
Jeff has arrived at the hospital to pay a visit to Cecil. Alexis urges him to stay quiet about his son's kidnapping, 'cause the news might upset Cecil too much and strain his fragile heart. The two tip-toe into Cecil's room, and we see that he's still trapped inside his bubble. Jeff peers through the little flap door and is all, "Hey Uncle Cecil! How's it going?" then realizes what a dumb question that is, considering Cecil's gray pallor. Cecil smiles weakly and asks him to tell him about Baby Blake, so Jeff carefully says he's a handsome, growing boy who looks a bit like Fallon and Blake. Cecil asks Jeff to give the baby a kiss for him, and Jeff stoically promises he will.

Jeff visits his dad's mausoleum again and tells it how badly he wants to find his son. Al Grimes, the creepy caretaker (and, according to the Dynasty Wiki, Roger Grimes' father...but we'll have to put a pin in that for now), overhears him and says, "Sorry about your kidnapped baby." Jeff shoots him a creeped out stink-eye and walks away, and Al growls, "Thanks a lot! Dr. Toscanni was right! You rich are all alike!" He grumbles about how the police hauled him in for questioning just 'cause he made disparaging comments about hating rich people. He glares at Jeff and says he'd like to tell all rich people to go to hell! He poutishly adds, "I have feelings too, you know!" - LOL - and steers his wheelbarrow away...and Jeff looks bemused and is all, "Huh?"

Nurse Susan is sitting in the kitchen with the lights off, enjoying a snack and drinking from a bottle of Blake's expensive wine. Fallon enters the room, turns the lights on, and is startled by the sight of the cheeky nurse. She asks Nurse Susan if she hates her, and Nurse Susan is like, "Well, d'yuh." Fallon says she knows about her fling (or whatever) with Nick, then admits that she too fell prey to the weirdo's charms. She furrows her brows to simulate deep thinking and says she's been "trying to put the pieces together" and asks Nurse Susan if she and Nick conspired to steal her baby...then pleadingly says she'll pay anything to get him back safely. Nurse Susan scornfully retorts that all Carringtons care about is money...and to further emphasize her scorn, she throws her wine glass against the kitchen wall, watches it shatter, and storms out.

Krystle tells Blake that Claudia ran off somewhere and now wonders if she could be the baby's kidnapper. Blake carefully mulls that over, then decides that the nut most likely fled 'cause she didn't want to be sent back to the funny farm.
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Claudia is holed up at the Hotel Rosslyn, where she's registered as Mrs. Craig. She picks up a pillow and hugs it it...then coos at it like it's a baby.

Over at Carrington manor, the family is having breakfast together...and Fallon glumly remarks that they've lost a baby all over again. Blake's theory is that whoever stole Baby Blake is deliberately making them sweat it out, then insists that this is a totally different sitch from when Adam was taken, twenty-five years ago. Joseph enters the room to inform Blake that a reporter from The Chronicle is waiting for him in the sitting room. Fallon pleads with her father to get answers about her son, and he tells her that maybe the reporter can help them with that.

Blake tells the reporter he'd like her to write a feature story on Baby Blake - one which might move the kidnapper to respond. She scrunches her face and is like, "Meh" and says she's way more interested in writing about the Adam kidnapping, which may not be a dead story after all. She tells him that "an articulate young man" from Billings phoned her and tried to pump her for whatever information she had about the kidnapping - but Blake says he doesn't know anyone in Billings and thinks it was probably just a crank. He tells her he really really wants her to write a story on Baby Blake, and she tells him she really really prefers to write a story about Adam. I don't suppose The Chronicle could do both?

Adam's faux grandmother has finally kicked off and it's funeral time. Adam asks her grandmother's doctor friend if they can speak privately, and once they're in a room with the door closed, he snarkishly calls the old man "a sanctimonious hypocrite". The doctor chalks up his nastiness to grief, but Adam says he's been remembering all the house calls he's made to his faux grandmother over the years, charging her and feeding her sugar pills. He derisively calls him a quack, and the doctor tells him he has a mean streak, and that he should have piety for a woman who sacrificed her life for him out of love. Adam sneers and says it was out of guilt for kidnapping him, then accusingly asks the doctor if he remembers when he made his sudden appearance on the farm. The doctor recalls that his grandmother brought him to the farm after his parents were allegedly killed in a car accident and denies knowing anything about a kidnapping. Adam says he intends to find out exactly what happened, then storms out of the room to pack his things.

Captain Lockwood informs Blake that Nick Toscanni flew to the Middle East earlier that morning - babyless. Blake is suddenly suspicious of Claudia and speculates, "The baby could be in the hands of a deranged woman." And speaking of deranged..

Claudia continues to coo to her pillow, then wraps it up like it's a baby and heads out.   

Blake shares his suspicions about Claudia with Fallon...and Fallon wails that if Claudia took her son, she wouldn't have done it for the money. She wails, "She's sick! She'll never give him back!" and Blake hugs her and tries to assure her that everything will be all right.
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Claudia lurks in the open doorway of the hotel manager's room and happens to notice her photo on the TV, then hears a newscast informing the public that the police are currently searching for her in connection with the missing Colby baby. After that, she overhears the hotel manager dial up the police and report that the kidnapper (and baby) have checked into her hotel. Egads! Claudia wigs out, shrieks, "Nobody's going to take my baby!" and scampers over to the nearby stairwell. 

Adam is on a flight en route to Denver and is flirting with the cute stewardess. He tells her she made the flight very pleasant for him, then says he might settle down in Denver for good. He asks her where she's staying once they land, and she tells him: the La Mirada hotel. He mulls that over and asks her to book him a room there too...then sweetens the deal with the promise of dinner. She blushes and goes, "OK!" and doesn't seem to think it's weird that a passenger she just met is asking her to book his hotel accommodations.​
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The Carringtons have arrived at the Hotel Rosslyn, and police are urging all of the curious bystanders to stand back. The police officer on the roof is trying to reason with Claudia, but isn't having much luck with that. Captain Lockwood quietly brings the Carringtons onto the roof and urges Blake to go talk to Claudia, but Fallon says she wants to do it. She tentatively walks toward Claudia, who glares at her and snarks, "You!" She asks her what she wants, and Fallon says she just wants to be near her baby. Claudia scrunches her face in confusion and says, "This isn't your baby. It's Lindsay" then peers over the railing and notices that an ambulance has just arrived. Fallon tells her she knows how much she loves Lindsay, then gently explains that the baby in her arms isn't Lindsay - it's her son. She tells Claudia she can have another child of her own, then pleads, "Please give my son back to me!" and Claudia screeches, "No!!" Blake suddenly appears, reminds Claudia that they're friends, and says he wants to talk. Claudia scrunches her face in misery and says she doesn't want to listen to anyone anymore...but Blake presses ahead and tells her that Lindsay isn't here, 'cause she's sleeping peacefully elsewhere. Claudia perks up and goes, "Where?" and Blake assures her it's a lovely place, and that she's there with her father. A police officer appears behind her, and stupid Blake shifts his gaze away from Claudia to gawk in surprise at him - and this prompts Claudia to whirl around, bark, "Stay away!" and drop her bundle. This, in turn, causes the plastic doll she had wrapped up with the pillow to fly out of her arms, sail over the railing, and land in pieces atop the ambulance. Fallon, who believes that her infant son has just suffered a horrific death, starts weeping and falls into Blake's arms. Captain Lockwood quickly informs everyone that there was no fatality 'cause what flew off the roof was just a doll. Blake looks relieved and tells Fallon it wasn't her baby that just went splat...and Fallon wails, "Where is he?!" and faints.

Recap: After the horror of watching Claudia's doll baby plunge to its death from the roof of Hotel Rosslyn, the Carringtons grimly make their way down to ground level. By this time, a crowd of reporters and photographers have arrived on the scene and shout questions about Baby Blake and/or the dead doll baby, but police manage to hold them back. Blake asks Jeff to think hard about anyone else who might have had an unusual interest in his son, so Jeff tells him that Alfred Grimes, the creepy caretaker at the cemetery, made a bunch of weird comments about the baby being a rich Colby/Carrington heir - plus, he mentioned knowing Nick Toscanni. Blake perks up at that, and he and Jeff scamper over to the police to tell them this tidbit. The two then climb into a police car and head off to pursue this possible new lead, and Krystle and a despondent Fallon head back to the mansion.

Alfred Grimes is hanging at his shitty little house with Baby Blake when a small army of squad cars arrive. He peeks out the front window and sees Blake leap out of one of the vehicles and lead the charge toward the front door (LOL), so he grabs the baby and flees through the back door - which somehow the police didn't think to cover. Blake, Jeff, and a hapless police officer burst through the front door...and Blake quickly scans the living room and spots Baby Blake's pacifier. He picks it up and solemnly shows it to Jeff. Al, meanwhile, is weaving down a nearby alley clutching a heavily swaddled inanimate stunt baby - and it's clear he has no idea where he's going [or, I'm guessing, why he kidnapped the baby in the first place]. A police officer runs into the living room of Al's house and urgently announces, "He ran out the back! He's got the baby!" so Blake's like, "Come on, Jeff!" and the two race out the back door with the hapless police officer trailing behind them (LOL). Al clumsily crashes into a woman who's carrying groceries...and Blake, Jeff, and a group of cops engage in the pursuit of the old man. A cop on a motorcycle cuts off Al at the end of one alley...and then he gets cornered on the other end by Blake, Jeff, and the rest of the cops. Al glances around shiftily and warns everyone to stand back, and Jeff glares at him and demands that he hand over his son. Al wisely decides that the jig is up, so he carefully hands the infant over to Jeff...and once the tot is safe, Blake barks at the cops, "Let's grab him!" - bwahaha! - and lunges at Al before the cops pry him off the old man. Al insists that the kidnapping wasn't his idea, then says, "He set it all up...Toscanni. He paid me to do it. He made me do it!" and Blake scrunches his wrinkly face in confusion and is all, "Wha-a?!"

Blake and Jeff are in the back of a police car, and the baby is safely cooing in Jeff's arms. Blake tells Jeff that Al Grimes is Roger Grimes' father, then reminds viewers that Roger Grimes was the man whose baloney pony Alexis was riding all those years ago when they were married and he arrived home from a business trip earlier than expected. Blake breezily recalls, "I guess I beat him up [um...nearly to death], and the story got around town that I had paid him off to keep the thing quiet." Jeff reminds him that the sordid details of his psychotic reaction to finding his wife in the sack with another man was revealed during the Enter Alexis episode, and Blake deduces that Nick must have read about it and "found the perfect man to work with"...meaning, someone who wanted to get even with him. He shakes his head and mutters, "Oh Toscanni... I swear to you, Jeff - I won't rest until I find him and make him pay for this." No you won't, Blake. Now that the baby has been safely recovered, the writers are dropping all Nick related storylines faster than Roger Grimes dropped his pants to bone your ex-wife.

Claudia is at the mansion, packing her things under the stern supervision of an official from the sanitarium she's about to be shipped off to. Jeff enters the room to see whassup, and she spacily tells him she's going away...but doesn't know why. He tells her she's a good and beautiful woman...but she argues that she's a sick, ugly woman who's been toting around her dead daughter's old doll, which I'd say is definitely more of an apt description of the lunatic she's degenerated into since the Season 1 finale. She explains that she was taking care of the doll until Lindsay returns, and Jeff refrains from laughing and caustically retorting, "Nice job!" He stares at her concernedly and says he didn't mean to hurt her and that he loved her during the very brief period they doinked. He says, "It was a very special time for me...and I did love you." (Er, OK..?) Claudia grins like an idiot and picks up a stuffed dog and hugs it to her chest, then explains that it too belonged to Lindsay...and Jeff looks weirded out by her loopiness.

As Claudia makes her way toward the grand staircase, she stops in front of Joseph and shakes his hand. She thanks him for being kind to her, and he warily replies, "I have tried." LOL. She then bids adieu to the maids - some of whom are crying, which is weird 'cause when would they have formed an emotional attachment to this nut? As she descends the staircase, she looks around spacily and says, "Goodbye to you, sweet house." Blake, who's waiting for her at the foot of the stairs, gives her a kiss on the cheek and assures her that everything will be OK. Claudia nods at him, then walks over to where Krystle is standing and says, "Beautiful Krystle...who was always kind to me, even when I wasn't kind to her." The two women hug, and everyone watches Claudia amble toward the front door in this bizarre, needlessly dragged out goodbye scene.

Cecil is finally out of his bubble, and the doctor remarks to the nurse that his vital signs are stable. Alexis enters the room, and the nurse snarks at her to not disturb Cecil while he sleeps. The doctor asks her to step outside so they can speak privately...and once they're in the hallway, Alexis haughtily informs him that Cecil wants to marry her in a bedside wedding. The doctor bitchily replies that he won't allow it, then rudely excuses himself to attend to other patients. A chubby nurse (who doesn't seem to hate Alexis) tells her she just heard the wonderful news on the radio. Alexis is all, "Wuh?" so the nurse explains that there was just a news bulletin about Baby Blake's dramatic rescue from his kidnapper. Alexis looks happy and relieved, then quickly contorts her face in order to appear upset and perplexed.

At Carrington manor, Fallon tenderly places Baby Blake in his crib and tears up. Blake tip-toes into the room, and she gushes about how happy she is to have her son back and thanks him for launching the rescue effort (LOL), then tells him she loooves him. Blake looks pretend modest and tells her that Jeff also had something to do with saving him, but Fallon is just like, "Meh.." Nurse Susan enters the nursery - she still works at the mansion? - and says she'd like to give the baby his bottle. Blake just kind of smiles and is like whatever, while Fallon looks less than thrilled and shoots the nurse a very narrowed stink-eye. 

Alexis storms over to Carrington manor and rails at Blake for not informing her about her grandson's rescue. He explains that they were so preoccupied with rushing the tot to a doctor once he was found that no one thought about anything or anyone else. She whirls around in her awesome, dramatic way and poutishly retorts, "I am not just anyone else!" and bitches at him some more. She then invokes the televised plea and reminds him that he wanted to shut her up when she insisted on talking about Adam's kidnapping...and he wryly recalls that he didn't exactly succeed. Krystle suddenly enters the room and tells Blake there's a phone call for him...and after he scurries off to the study, she orders Alexis to leave the mansion, then snarks at her to leave Blake alone because he's still very upset about losing Adam. Alexis growls, "How dare you talk to me about my son!" then complains about how everything/everyone is described as belonging to Blake. She vows that the Carringtons will be hearing from her again, then taunts Krystle by referring to her as Krystle Jennings Carrington, past and future secretary. She angrily flounces out of the room, leaving Krystle staring after her in pensive confusion. 

Alexis cools her heels in the hospital's waiting room while Cecil visits with his attorney. After a few minutes, the attorney comes out and greets Alexis warmly. She asks him if he and Cecil had a good meeting, and he says it went well, then tells her that Cecil is anxious to talk to her about something super important.

Cecil is sitting up and drinking juice and looking a lot better than when he was laying in his bubble. Alexis sweeps into his room and greets him with a kiss. He tells her he just spoke with his attorney about the most important business of his life, then sadly adds, "How ever much longer I have left." Alexis optimistically replies, "At least fifty years!" and he chuckles, as that would make him live to be a  hundred...and that's highly unlikely, considering his bum heart. He announces that the two of them are going to be married: tomorrow at 3pm. He tells her he's making all the arrangements and that all she has to do is show up. As she grins happily, he creepily asks, "Does the groom get a kiss to seal the pact? Destroy Blake and all that?" Alexis smiles and breathlessly replies, "Yes!" and the two start making out.

Fallon returns to the nursery, still irked that Nurse Susan remains employed as her son's baby nurse. I'm confused why she's still employed by the Carringtons. I would have thought her police record, the past affair with Nick Toscanni, her open hostility against Fallon, and the throwing of the wine glass in the kitchen would have been more than enough to have gotten her canned by now. Nurse Susan tells Fallon her son seems healthy and that he drank the entire bottle, but Fallon just snarks that if she'd been doing her job, her son wouldn't have been kidnapped. Jeff happens to enter the nursery at that moment and barks, "Cut it out!" and Fallon turns on him and admonishes him for hiring Nurse Susan in the first place. Jeff orders her to apologize to Nurse Susan, but she just glares at him in mute anger.

Krystle finds Blake relaxing in front of the fire in the study. He says he's exhausted, but also relieved that the kidnapping storyline has finally been resolved. She urges him to come to bed, and he gazes at her lovingly and asks her why she's so good to him. She's like, "I dunno. Maybe 'cause you're so cute." She adds that he's also handsome, intelligent, loving, and resourceful [and, most importantly, rich]...and he grins at her before she leans in for a big smooch. Gross.

Jeff sees Nurse Susan descending the stairs with her suitcases, and she tells him that Fallon just fired her in a nasty manner. He tries to explain that Fallon has been under enormous stress since the kidnapping and offers to try to change her mind, but Nurse Susan tells him she'd rather not work under such bitchy conditions and leaves the mansion. Jeff stares after her looking peeved, then storms over to the nursery - where Fallon is hovering over the baby's crib - and rails at her for resenting Nurse Susan because of her blechy affair with Nick. Fallon makes it clear she only feels disgust for the man, and that she's sick of Jeff always being so judgey. She snatches up the phone and orders Joseph to set up a bed in the nursery so she can spend her nights with her son...and Jeff looks miffed and dickishly snarks, "That's great. Terrific. Pleasant dreams!" and storms out.

The next morning at breakfast, Fallon tells Blake that her marriage to Jeff is definitely not working out. She says she'd like to move out of the mansion with Baby Blake, then take a hard look at herself and figure out who she is [a vapid, self-centered sloth] and live a more meaningful life than the aimless, self-indulgent existence she's been lapping up until now. Blake says, "You're a mother. Isn't that purpose enough?" and Fallon says she needs to be on her own, like other grown adults who don't live with their parents...and somehow prove she's "a worthwhile human being" [even though she's the opposite of that]. Blake assures her she is worthwhile, but Fallon guffaws and snarkishly retorts, "For a girl. Steven was the boy. Fallon was the toy." Blake agrees to not stand in her way and tells her to look at his company's various holdings and pick out something she might like - regardless of how ill suited or unqualified she may be for the undeserved position. After she flounces upstairs, Joseph enters the room with the day's paper, which has an article entitled Is Adam Carrington Still Alive? Blake says it looks like the reporter he spoke with during the previous episode went ahead and wrote the article even though he asked her not to...and he stares into space looking distressed.

Fallon skulks around the La Mirada Hotel and takes notes. She notices Adam, who's on a pay phone...and he catches her gaze and the two smile at each other appreciatively. [This is ickily reminiscent of when Fallon and Cecil doinked in Season 1, and then came close to being father and daughter. Gross, writers! Gross.] Adam is trying to get info on Frank Eastman, an old oil crony who once knew Blake, so he can use the intel as a way to set up a meeting with him...or some such thing. The hotel clerk remarks to Adam that today's paper includes a story about the kidnapping of Adam Carrington, and derisively adds, "The rich can't buy themselves a lost kid." He then mentions that Blake Carrington owns this hotel, and Adam looks surprised.

Over at Denver-Carrington, Blake tells Fallon he's been trying to dump the La Mirada for years. She pleads, "Dump it with me!" and he asks, "What do you know about hotels?" and she poutishly retorts, "Don't get personal." She explains that the cash situation at the hotel is "too fat" and that she'd like to reinvest the surplus back into the hotel and give the property a fresh new look. In exchange, she promises not to move out of the mansion and will even put off the divorce...though she insists on separate bedrooms so she doesn't have to feel guilty once she starts sleeping around. She asks Blake if they have a deal, and he grins at her, so I guess we can take that as a yes.

By scripted coincidence, Adam ends up in the elevator with Fallon...and the two stare at each other again and flirt. He recalls that he saw her at the La Mirada Hotel earlier and introduces himself as Michael Torrence from Montana. He refers to the two of them as "kindred spirits" (sorry - but I kinda tuned out here, so I forget how or why he'd come to that conclusion) and they both decide they're very attractive people. It's weird that Fallon neglected to introduce herself, 'cause then the jig (at least from Adam's perspective) would have been up right then and there.

Alexis breezes into the Carrington kitchen and tells Krystle she's handing over the deed to her studio to Baby Blake, now that she's marrying Cecil and moving to his fancy estate. She babbles about how she's going to teach this town how to party, then excitedly heads out for her wedding. She snidely tells Krystle she knows she wishes her all the best, but Krystle just stares back at her with mute pensiveness.

Adam enters Blake's office at Denver-Carrington pretending to be Frank Eastman's nephew...but the ruse quickly falls apart when Blake informs him that Frank died two years ago, and then accuses him of being the caller from Billings who was asking questions about his long lost son. Adam admits that he lied about being Frank's nephew so he could get access to his office, then stares at him intently and says, "Your long lost son is here with you." Blake picks up the phone and threatens to have him thrown out of the building...but Adam begs him to give him a minute to make his case, so Blake puts the phone back down. Adam tells him that an old woman who pretended to be his grandmother his whole life told him on her death bed that she kidnapped him from a baby carriage twenty-five years ago. He didn't believe her at first, but now thinks she may have been telling the truth. He'd like Blake's help accessing his birth records, but Blake informs him that the hospital in which his son was born burned down. He orders Adam to get out...and Adam discreetly clutches the silver rattle he had as a baby and is about to show it to him, but then assumes that Blake would just call it a lie. He whirls around, glares at Blake, and says that now that he's met him, he's happy not to be his son. Blake snaps, "Get the hell outta here!" and Adam storms out just as Jeff enters. He asks Blake who that was, and Blake says, "Nobody. Absolutely nobody." 

It's wedding time at the hospital! Alexis arrives decked out in a ridiculously ruffled gown and elaborate veil and is carrying a big bouquet...and as Cecil gushes about how stunning she is, she pins a boutonniere on him. The doctor advises Cecil against straining himself this way [and ruining the last few minutes of his life by marrying Alexis], but he insists on controlling his own destiny. He says he's an anxious bridegroom who could drop dead at any moment, and would therefore like the reverend to do the quickie version of the vows. He then presents his blushing bride with a diamond encrusted ring, and she breathlessly coos, "It's lovely." The ceremony gets underway, and Cecil suddenly grows pale and deliberately stalls when the reverend asks him if he takes this woman to be his wife. He finally says, "I do" and he and Alexis exchange rings and are officially pronounced husband and wife. Alexis lifts her veil as though she's a demure virgin, and leans toward him so they can share a long, post nuptial smooch. Cecil asks everyone (the doctor, nurse, and reverend) to leave the room, then snidely asks Alexis if she was worried he was going to keel over before he could say I do. (Well, d'yuh.) He then takes a sudden turn toward Crazy Town and tells her he wants to leap into his grave laughing...knowing that he's left her with all of his power and money - and with her and Blake at each other's throats. When she gives him a WTF? stare, he caustically asks her if this "honeymoon talk" is upsetting her, then starts railing about her wedding night with Blake more than two decades ago. He becomes so agitated by the disturbing visual that his heart suddenly conks out on him. He contorts his face in pain, moans, "Oww!" and suffers a fatal heart attack while Alexis shrieks, "Wha-at's wrong?!"

Recap: Krystle is still trying to contact Blake via her walkie-talkie - but at least she finally had the good sense to contact the rangers at Sky Crest headquarters about organizing a search and rescue mission. One of the rangers tells her that Blake's radio is probably out, then assures her they'll find him before the storm hits. He heads out on Operation Rescue Dickwad, while Krystle continues to plead to Blake through the walkie-talkie: "Tell me you're all right!!" Give it up, Krystle. He can't fucking hear you.

Over at the mansion, Joseph tells Jeff and Fallon that he checked with gate security and they told him that Nurse Susan left the estate a little while ago. Fallon asks him if Baby Blake was with her, and Joseph says the guards didn't notice a baby in the car; however, there's a police bulletin out on Nurse Susan's car, so she'll probably be located quickly. Fallon chides herself for leaving the baby alone, then moans, "What kind of mother am I?" Jeff tells her that giving in to her nerves won't accomplish anything, but Fallon just cries, "I just want my baby back!" and Jeff remains hopeful that Nurse Susan has him with her.  

Nurse Susan is escorted back to the mansion by a police detective, then hustled into the study. Fallon rushes toward her and demands, "Where is he?!" and Nurse Susan goes, "Where's who?" so Jeff informs her that Baby Blake has disappeared. Nurse Susan scrunches her face in confusion, then explains that she drove into town to get a salve for Mrs. Gunnerson's cut finger, but then got a flat tire on the way. Fallon doesn't buy her story and snarks that the police aren't going to buy it either. 

Over at Memorial Hospital, the doctor tells Alexis that Cecil has suffered a massive coronary, and he's not sure if he'll survive. He asks Alexis if she's notified his family, and she tells him that Cecil hates his nephew - so having Jeff at his bedside would only upset him. She explains that she and Cecil were planning to marry in less than 24 hours, so the doctor grants her permission to go into the ICU, where a grey looking Cecil is clinging to life in a giant plastic bubble. Alexis opens the tiny flap door to peer inside at him - LOL - and orders him to open his eyes. When his eyes flutter a bit, she coos, "I love you so much, daaahling." Cecil moans pitifully, and Alexis starts gabbling about all the traveling she wants to do with him before they return to Denver and exact revenge on Blake. Cecil winces in pain and shakes his head (in protest? in pain? who knows?) and Alexis tells him they should push up the wedding to right now, and she'll marry him at his bedside. She asks, "Do you understand what I'm saying?" and Cecil continues moan as he shakes his head, so she haltingly replies, "Our wedding. In this hospital. Tonight." She breathily adds, "You mustn't die. We have to work together to get back at Blake!" Cecil stares back at her mutely as the life slowly drains out of him. 

Over at Sky Crest, the thunderstorm has rolled in, and it's super scary with frequent bright bolts of lightning. Krystle is still in the headquarters building, uselessly staring out at the rain. On the mountain, Blake stirs when he gets rained on. He lifts his head and hears a voice calling, "Blake!" but he's unable to move and passes out.

Jeff tells the police about Al, the creepy cemetery caretaker he encountered during the Season 2 finale, and his disturbing remarks about how rich the Colby/Carrington baby must be. The detective makes note of that, then switches gears and asks him about the "foreign looking, bearded man" who Claudia allegedly saw on the estate. Fallon interrupts and wails, "This is all a waste of time!" and says she's fairly certain that Nurse Susan is the culprit and believes that she handed Baby Blake off to someone. The detective assures Fallon that his men are checking her out as they speak. Fallon demands to know why the FBI hasn't been notified, and the detective explains that there's no evidence to suggest that the baby has been taken across state lines. Fallon flounces toward the door and bitchily announces that she's going to call the only man who's capable of handling this crisis: her daddy.

A drenched Blake starts stirring again, but then passes out again. Over at Sky Crest headquarters, Krystle finally decides to be proactive, puts on a raincoat, and heads out to search for Blake.

The doctor tells Alexis he won't permit her to subject Cecil to a wedding. Alexis pouts and warns him that denying her what she wants could get him into serious trouble, 'cause Cecil is on the board of trustees at the hospital. The doctor says he won't allow her to do anything that might put strain on Cecil's heart, and Alexis chuckles and assures him she's not planning a strenuous affair. The doctor insists that any kind of wedding will have to be put on hold until Cecil is strong enough to come to his senses and put an end to their creepy, unholy coupling.

Krystle is riding around the mountain trail in the pouring rain, searching for her beloved. At the edge of the cliff, Blake stirs again and manages to crawl away from the edge of the cliff - but then falls down, rolls to exactly where he was when he started, and passes out again. Thunder claps scarily, and lightning begins to strike non-stop. It's a miracle Blake hasn't gotten electrocuted.

Jeff is sitting in the nursery, staring sadly at the empty crib. Claudia ambles into the room, looking even more spaced out than before. She tells him that no one seems to be able to sleep in this house tonight, then recalls the day she found out Lindsay died. She caresses his face, and when he pushes her hand away, she goes, "What's wrong? You didn't used to mind it when I touched you." He furrows his caterpillar eyebrows and says, "My son is missing, Claudia" so she counters with, "My daughter is dead" and starts nattering about how they're both alone now. She begs him to kiss her, and when he rebuffs her, she scrunches her face in confusion and reminds him that she doinked him when Fallon wasn't interested in doinking him, then blathers about how Cecil enlisted her to spy on Denver-Carrington for him. She says his heart attack was God's way of punishing him, then declares that God is punishing all of them. Joseph mercifully interrupts her crazy rambling to inform Jeff that the detective has uncovered some juicy dish about Nurse Susan. 

Krystle is still riding around in the rain, calling out, "Blake!" Blake, meanwhile, stirs again, climbs to his feet, and stumbles away from the cliff. 

The detective confronts Nurse Susan about her convicted felon status in New York, and she admits that she stole something valuable from Cartier. She claims she was under severe emotional stress at that time and that she stole the jewelry to impress a man she was in love with: a handsome doctor by the name of Nick Toscanni. Jeff perks up and is all, "Wuh?" so Nurse Susan admits that she followed Nick to Denver, but swears she knows nothing about the baby's disappearance. Jeff tells the detective he saw Nick at Denver-Carrington shortly after Blake left for Sky Crest. He recalls that Nick was saying some weird shit about how the baby was Blake's possession...and that there was naked hatred in his eyes while he was saying it. LOL. The detective mulls over this new "evidence" contemplatively. 

Blake is stumbling around the mountain just as Krystle dismounts her horse so she can search the area on foot. A few seconds later she sees Blake limping toward her. The two stare at each other for what seems like a looong time, then run toward each other, stare some more, then dramatically embrace.  

Blake is brought to Memorial Hospital because the Sky Crest Hospital isn't good enough for him...and also so Krystle can cross paths with and snipe at Alexis. She blames Alexis for Blake's accident, since it was her "wedding circus" that drove them out of town, then turns her back on her and enters Blake's gigantic private suite. The nurse assures the doctor she's taken steps to ensure that Blake doesn't escape...and the doctor chuckles and tells Blake that she's "one tough broad". The nurse looks fake dismayed and says, "One tough person, doctor." (Weren't the '80s fun for women?) Krystle sits by Blake's bedside and tearfully says she was so worried she'd lost him, then hugs him and murmurs, "Thank God." Blake pats her on the back, and the two smooch. Krystle then says she should call the mansion to let everyone know that he's OK...and he stares up at her adoringly and says, "I love you" and she grins back affectionately and returns the I love you. As she heads toward the door, she remarks that Nick told her he wasn't able to find him on the mountain...and Blake tells her that Nick did find him and they did speak. Krystle scrunches her face in pensive confusion as Blake grumbles, "Now what the hell is he up to?!"

Krystle phones the mansion, and when Jeff picks up, she's like, "Blake had an accident, but he's OK" and Jeff's like, "That's nice. My son has been kidnapped" and Krystle's all, "Wha-a?!" An oblivious Alexis comes over to complain to Krystle about always being blamed for everything bad that happens to her or Blake, and Krystle snaps, "Shut up!" and starts to stalk off, then turns around and informs her that Baby Blake has been kidnapped. The scene then cuts to Blake going, "What?! What are you talking about?" He insists on leaving the hospital like pronto and asks Krystle to get the driver to bring the car around. Alexis takes the opportunity to enter Blake's room, and informs him that Cecil had a heart attack. Blake grunts indifferently, so she brings up missing Baby Blake, contorts her lips in a poutish expression and asks, "Is this nightmare happening to us all over again?" Blake tells her that this kidnapping is different from the other one 'cause he's pretty sure he knows who's behind it.

A few minutes later, Blake learns that Nick abruptly resigned from the hospital. He asks Tom (Nick's boss) what he knows about Nick's sudden departure and Tom goes, "Not much" and shows him the terse resignation letter he received, which basically just says, "I quit." LOL. Tom shakes his head and derisively says that Nick was a very volatile person. I'm not sure how Tom would have come to that conclusion; last I heard, he and Nick were getting along swimmingly. 

When Blake arrives at Carrington manor, he tells Jeff that Nick had vowed revenge against him for his brother Gianni's suicide, and therefore he believes that Nick is the kidnapper. The two men tip-toe into Fallon's room, where she's fast asleep after spending the day crying and freaking out. Blake stares down lovingly at his spoiled rotten spawn and murmurs, "My beautiful child." He assures her that everything will be OK, and that he'll get her son back.

Blake informs the police that he wants to make a public appeal for the safe return of his grandson, and also offer a reward. The detective advises him to keep on lid on it and thinks maybe the kidnapper will contact him on his own...but Blake doesn't like the idea of just waiting around. Alexis enters the study, and Blake tells her that last time this happened he was quiet about it...but he refuses to remain silent now. Alexis poutishly retorts that she can't let him go through this alone and says she's part of this now - just as she was then. Krystle's all, "Wuh?" since she has absolutely no idea what these two are talking about.

Krystle asks Blake what Alexis was just referring to, and Blake snarks that he had another life long before he met her, just like she had another life long before meeting him. He then grimaces and apologizes for being a snappish dickwad just now, and explains that he has no desire to open this old wound. He assures Krystle he's not keeping any secrets from her (even though he kinda is), and says he can't talk about this trauma right now. Krystle says she understands, and the two hug.

Fallon enters the nursery...and she's soon joined by Claudia, who spacily tells her it's obvious she still has hope her child is alive - unlike her. She starts nattering about when Matthew took Lindsay from her, which was when she first became hopeless. She urges Fallon to hang onto her hope and Fallon tells her she's trying to. Suddenly, some strange guy troops into the nursery carrying a long cable. He tells them that Blake wants to televise an emotional appeal for the safe return of his grandchild - and that he plans to do it in the nursery.

Blake runs into Claudia on the staircase and tells her that the police are trying to track down the "foreign looking man" she claimed she saw on the estate yesterday. Claudia pretends to look contemplative and says he had a moustache and beard. She couldn't say how tall he was since he was in a car, but "he seemed like he was big". She then tells Blake she recalls that there was some kind of emblem on the side of his car, along with lettering that looked like curly Qs. Blake furrows his brows thoughtfully and asks her if they could have been Arabic letters, and she shrugs and spacily says, "Could have been." Blake remarks to Jeff that the kidnapper might possibly have been Faruq Ahmed cause he's tall, foreign looking and comes from a fictional Middle Eastern country.

At a daycare somewhere, a woman picks up a crying baby. Hey -  it's Baby Blake! The daycare worker greets whoever just rang the doorbell, then hands Baby Blake over to him/her. A-ha! The mystery deepens.

Blake is making his public plea, flanked by Jeff, Fallon, Krystle, and Alexis...and Joseph has somehow sneaked into the frame and is standing behind Blake as though he's something more than an asslicking majordomo. LOL. Blake holds up a framed photo of Baby Blake and reports to viewers that yesterday afternoon, someone kidnapped him from his crib. Alexis, who looks as though she's been fighting to stay silent, steps forward and says, "Blake and I are no strangers to this kind of tragedy." Blake tries to shut her up, but she insists on telling the world about a previous kidnapping. She poutishly declares, "I won't be quiet anymore" then tells viewers the sad tale of how their first-born child, Adam Carrington, was stolen from them twenty-five years ago. Not sure how this is supposed to help with the search for newly kidnapped Baby Blake, but then the writers had to find some way of setting up the imminent return of long lost Adam Carrington. 

On a ranch in Billings, Montana, an old woman is lying in bed, crying as she watches the Carrington's plea. She hears Alexis talk about how she and Blake have been in agony all these years, not knowing if Adam is alive or dead. A young man with feathered brown hair suddenly enters the room to bring her a glass of water. He shuts off the TV, and she yells, "Adam! No!" and he's all "Wuh? My name is Michael." She anxiously retorts, "No! You are Adam. Adam Carrington" and he tells her she must be confused from watching the news. A few seconds later, a doctor arrives for a quick house visit. By now, the old woman has passed out, and the doctor takes her pulse (at least I think that's what he's doing) and tells "Michael" that his grandmother is still alive, but probably not for much longer. Adam tells him she's beginning to have delusions 'cause she referred to him as Adam - but the doctor insists that despite her imminent death, her mind is as sharp as a tack. Michael/Adam stares over at his unconscious grandmother with a quizzical expression.

Blake shifts the televised plea back to the search for Baby Blake and begs the public to help find him. After the newscast wraps, Alexis turns to Blake and poutishly asks, "What if this is like Adam all over again?" Blake puts a hand on her shoulder to give her a nano-second of comfort, then turns around and falls into a group hug with Fallon and Krystle.

Recap: Jeff and Kirby tiptoe into Carrington manor after dark. Kirby warns Jeff to be extra quiet 'cause her father has "a sixth sense about these things". They smooch for a few seconds, then head over to the phone...and she sits on his lap while he calls his late uncle's pilot and books a flight to Reno. Kirby asks him if he's absolutely, positively, undeniably sure he wants to marry a social climbing nitwit like herself without thinking over this life decision more carefully, and he's like, "Yep! Let's get packed." LOL.

Over in Singapore, Steven tells Blake he's made up his mind about not coming home, then bitchily snaps, "So forget it!" Blake says, "You can't mean that" but Steven retorts that he damn well does mean that. He adds that he's made it very clear he no longer wants to be a Carrington, and that they should have just let him be presumed dead. Considering his relentlessly prickly personality, that's not altogether a bad idea. Blake reminds him he has a son, and Steven scoffs, "How do you know he's mine? How will I ever really know?" (Maybe you could take a blood test, like Blake did in The Gun episode in Season 2 in order to prove that Fallon was his bio daughter??) Steven reminds him that Sammy Jo is such a slutty skank that any man west of the Mississippi could be the boy's father, but Blake shakes his head and says, "He resembles you, Steven" then suddenly remembers that the role of Steven was recast, so he hastily adds, "He has your eyes." LOL. Blake says he just traveled 7,000 miles to find him, his long-lost son, then advises against abandoning Danny, 'cause the day may come when he'll want to have a relationship with his son...but Danny may resent him and refuse to see him. Steven contemplatively stares into space as he mulls that over.

Blake phones the mansion to give Krystle and Fallon the good news that Steven is alive. Fallon tears up and happily orders her brother to come home immediately. Steven warns her that he's had facial reconstructive surgery and looks like a totally different person now...and then Blake takes the receiver from him and assures Fallon that the surgeon did a bang up job on Steven's face and that he's still very handsome. Blake informs Krystle that they'll be boarding a U.S. bound plane in a few hours and gives her the flight number. After they hang up, Fallon orders Joseph spread the joyous news among the servants that Steven is finally coming home! I'm sure they'll all be thrilled.

Jeff and Kirby are at a Justice of the Peace in Reno, getting married by a yokel dressed in a plaid shirt and jeans. They exchange vows, rings, say their I dos and are pronounced husband and wife. That ceremony had all the pomp and excitement of getting one's driver's license renewed.

Steven and Blake are en route to the U.S. and are lounging in the first class section of the plane. Blake fills in his son regarding what he's missed out on so far in Season 3:

• His long-lost brother, Adam, made a triumphant return to Denver after being kidnapped twenty-five years ago [but fails to mention what a psychopathic weirdo he is]
• Alexis married Cecil ten seconds before he keeled over and inherited half of his estate, while Jeff inherited the other half
• Jeff and Fallon finally split up
• Most recently, Sammy Jo showed up unexpectedly at Carrington manor with a bundle of joy/meal ticket

Blake says the most important Season 3 storyline was, of course, the birth of Danny. Steven asks why the baby is living with them at the mansion, so Blake explains that Sammy Jo left the tot in their care so she could pursue a modeling career in New York.

Krystle rushes over to Alexis' penthouse to give her the good news about Steven...and also informs her that he had to have reconstructive surgery after his face was blown off during the oil rig explosion. Alexis gasps with horror at the thought of having a hideously disfigured son, then concedes, "At least he's alive." LOL. Krystle invites her and Adam to swing by the mansion tomorrow night for the grand homecoming and promises to let her know the precise time. Alexis says she appreciates her coming over to deliver the good news, and Krystle smiles prettily and sees herself out. That was boring. I much prefer it when these two are cat-fighting in a pond.

When Krystle returns to the mansion, Joseph looks out of sorts and tells her that neither Kirby nor Jeff are home yet. Apparently, Kirby told him she'd be home by 10pm...and since it's way past that time, he's worried that something bad happened to her. (Something did; she married Fallon's sloppy milquetoast seconds.) Krystle stares into space, looking pensively concerned.

Jeff and Kirby are rolling around in bed together in a hotel room in Reno. She tells him their wedding was like a fairytale, then asks him if he's absolutely, positively, undeniably sure he's not on the rebound...and he assures her he isn't. She asks him if he wants her as much as he once wanted Fallon, and he's like, "Uh huh" and they roll around the bed some more, and smooch while contorting themselves in various positions.

Alexis is at a spa somewhere, getting a pedicure, foot massage, and having her hair styled as she talks to Adam on the phone. He tells her he's been able to locate more Denver-Carrington board members, and she says she's thrilled - but not nearly as thrilled as she is about Steven's homecoming. She tells him the family will be gathering at Carrington manor at 8pm, and Steven tightly replies, "Then I'll be home by 7pm to change."

The next morning, Krystle is working out with her trainer in extremely bright red tights and a matching bodysuit. That's a whole lot of bright red. Mrs. Gunnerson (the cook) interrupts the workout to get Krystle's approval for Steven's homecoming dinner menu and blathers on and on about all the lavish delights she plans to cook/bake. Krystle orders her to stick to the simple menu they discussed yesterday, and a chastened Mrs. Gunnerson asks if it's true that Steven now has a few face, then wistfully says she'll always remember him as Al Corley. She laments, "It's like that Steven is just gone from us forever." Heh. That he is, Mrs. Gunnerson. That he is. But Jack Coleman seems nice. Maybe you'll like him too.

The servants are nervously gathered in the vestibule, and Joseph is coaching them on what they should do and say to make Steven feel as comfortable in the mansion as possible. Fallon sweeps down the staircase just as Alexis and Adam arrive - and everyone is dressed in ridiculously formal evening wear - especially Alexis, who's wearing a black hat with a veil attached to the front of it. A few minutes later, Steven hobbles into the mansion with the aid of his cane and politely greets the smiling servants. Fallon runs into his arms and gives him a giant bear hug, while Alexis totters over in her stilettos and caresses every inch of her son's "new" face as if she were a blind person trying to determine what he looks like...and then runs her hands through his hair. As they hug, she breathily coos, "Oooh...thank God you're alive." She introduces him to Adam, who shoots him the stink-eye and coldly says, "Welcome home, Steven." Blake then takes the floor and announces that after suffering much grief at the thought of losing his son, he's incredibly joyous about his long-awaited return home. The camera then pans over to Krystle, who's descending the staircase while decked out in a pristine white gown and cradling Danny. Blake smiles goofily as she brings the baby over to Steven, says, "Welcome home", and places the tot in his arms. Steven stares down at Danny, tears up, and whispers, "My son."

Later, in the master bedroom, Krystle is giving Blake a shoulder rub to help him unwind. Ew. She asks him how he thinks Steven will manage, and Blake's like, "I dunno" especially since he now has a child. Krystle remarks that he clearly loves the boy and is confident he'll find his way, and Blake says he hopes that being a father will give Steven a different view of his own father...and that maybe by some miracle, all the bitterness between them [most of which stemmed from Blake's acts of stubborn douchebaggery] will somehow magically disappear.

Fallon and Steven hang out in the nursery together, reminiscing about all the good times they had in this room while growing up. Steven tells her that Danny is the main reason he decided to come home, then wonders if he can handle the responsibility of being a father. Fallon says she was very skeered when she became a new mother, but says that with enough love, she eventually got the hang of it. (I notice she conveniently skipped past the part where she went to a clinic and almost had her baby aborted.) Steven describes his son as "so damned appealing" and wonders how Sammy Jo could have abandoned him. He asks his sister if Sammy Jo has matured at all since Season 2, but Fallon's like, "I dunno" and says she didn't get much of a chance to interact with the vapid tart during her brief interlude at the mansion.

Alexis brings Steven to the La Mirage, where they meet up with Fallon. Mark appears out of nowhere, and Fallon introduces him to Steven...and a few seconds later, she and Steven head off together so she can give him a quick tour of the hotel. Alexis and Mark seat themselves in the bar area, and she asks him why he hasn't phoned her to set up some nooners, and he tells he he's been busy with tennis and stuff...and when she contorts her lips into a disapprovingly pouty expression, he reminds her she made it clear that she wasn't interested in anything remotely serious with him. He irritably says, "Sometimes I'm not in the mood for just fun and games" then gets up, tells the waiter to put the drinks on Alexis' tab, and stalks off. Hee!

During lunch, Alexis asks Steven if he and Adam hit it off last night, and Steven just shrugs and says they didn't get much of a chance to talk. Alexis assures him that once they get to know each other, they'll be good friends, which I think is highly debatable. Steven shoots her a suspicious look and flatly states that he has no interest in working at ColbyCo, then switches the conversation to Sammy Jo and the payoff she received from Alexis to get out of his life. Alexis admits paying the tramp $20,000 and has no regrets about it, then wisely pivots and informs Steven about Blake's/Krystle's plot to buy Danny. Steven's all, "Wha-a?!" so she adds, "It was a sale: your baby for bucks. But now that you're back, it's all changed." Steven snaps, "You're damned right it's all changed!" then gets up and hurriedly hobbles away from the table.

Steven's hobbling around the solarium, looking pissy when Krystle enters the room. He angrily asks her why he wasn't told that Blake had wrenched Danny away from Sammy Jo. He barks, "Did he pay her off?!" and Krystle's like, "Well...kinda" then explains that he offered Sammy Jo money, but only so she could take Danny along to New York and care for him there. Sammy Jo, however, declined that offer and made it clear she didn't want to care for an infant, like anywhere. Steven snidely retorts that Blake likely bullied her into thinking that the baby would have a better life in his custody at the mansion. Krystle denies that Blake manipulated the situation, but Steven refuses to believe her.

Mark is moping in the La Mirage lounge when Fallon ambles over. He says he had planned to invite her to dinner at the St. Denis Club - a place that isn't owned by a Carrington. She asks him why he didn't actually invite her, and he glumly says that people would probably laugh at them if they went out together in public: a Carrington going out with the hired help. Oh Mark. If they're laughing at anything, it's your '70s porn star vibe. Fallon insists they go out, then tosses her purse at a waitress who just happens to be walking by (the fuck?), and tells Mark she's ready to go to dinner.

After their dinner date, Mark and Fallon are in his room, sharing a brandy. He gives her a creepily intense stare and says, "Fallon, I want to make love to you" then leans in and plants a big smooch on her. After that, they stare at each other for a looooong time...and then he undoes the top button of her high collar. After that, he gently caresses her face and the two stare at each other some more. At this point, the scene fades out for a commercial break, so that's all we have to endure of their "lovemaking".

Krystle informs Blake that Alexis told Steven he bought Danny, so Blake heads over to the study for one of their awful father/son chats. I definitely have not missed those this season. Blake tells Steven he wants to get everything out in the open, but Steven just snarks that he hasn't changed at all, and that he realizes his gayness is an ongoing disappointment to him. Blake wearily reminds him that the Dynasty writers beat that horse to death in Seasons 1-2 and he has no desire to argue about his gayness/fake straightness anymore. Amen to that. Steven admonishes Blake for wanting to take his son and mold him in his image, then accuses him of forcing Sammy Jo to leave Denver. Blake angrily denies that and insists that Sammy Jo cared so little for Danny that she happily handed him over to him and Krystle - but Steven snarkishly wonders if Sammy Jo would see it that way. [Um, yeah. She would. You should maybe go talk to her about all this before you start throwing around unfounded accusations.] Steven declares that he's going to New York to talk to his wife/ex-wife (did they ever get legally divorced?) and try to be a family with her and Danny. Say what?!! Wasn't he just bitching to Blake in Singapore about what a slutty skank she was? And didn't he just re-confirm, five seconds earlier, that he's a gay man? Blake points out that he's still weak from his ordeal, and says his life is in Denver, and Steven retorts, "My life is with my son! And with Sammy Jo! If I can make it work with her." He then storms out of the study, leaving Blake to screech after him, "Steeeeeven!!"

Bitchiest homecoming ever.