Recap: As security guards lumber around the Carrington estate, Blake is barking to a police detective over the phone to find out who was responsible for the attempted kidnapping of Amanda - damn it! - 'cause if they continue to turn up nothing, how is he supposed to know she's safe in Europe? ... and he says this as if the safety of a future Moldavian princess who will soon have access to a royally appointed team of bodyguards needs to be Denver PD's top priority. Dex drops by the mansion to break the sad news to Krystle that Rock Hudson met his end in Libya, and Krystle stares back at him in pensive horror and is all, "Noooooo.." Dex tells her that later he'll be talking to Charles (who was also in Libya) to get the full account of the mission gone awry, then sadly shuffles out of the room. Krystle tells Blake she's so sad that her wonderful, platonic friend is dead...and that she's going to have to tell Sammy Jo that the bio dad she met two episodes ago is gone forever. Sammy Jo is sitting on her couch watching The Love Boat when Rita comes home clutching the day's paper. She shuts off the TV and shows Sammy Jo the article about Rock's death...and Sammy Jo's all, "Wuh?" then stares despondently into space while moaning, "I could have been somebody." She whines about inheriting her bio dad's unluckiness in life, then says of being chronically unlucky, "That sure sticks to me like tar." A few seconds later she perks up when she suddenly remembers that Rock acquired many millions of dollars doing whatever it was that he did for a living. Claudia asks Adam if he's worried about Blake seeing them together at Amanda's wedding...and by worried she means skeered about what Blake might have to say about it. Adam puffs out his little chest and insists that he's in no way afraid of Blake, is plotting to seize control of Denver Carrington, and has spent enough of his life waiting around for others to decide his fate. When Claudia says she's perfectly content managing La Mirage under Blake's dickish supervision, Adam asks what she'd do if Blake abruptly fired her...and she stares vacantly into space and offers no retort. Prince Michael, Amanda, and Alexis arrive at the royal Moldavian estate...and as a team of manservants carry in their dozens of suitcases, Alexis gushes about how lovely the summer palace looks. King Galen makes his appearance, is introduced to Amanda, and gushes to an uncomfortably creepish degree about how positively stunning she is, and how proud he is to become a father-in-law to such a perfect English rose. A few seconds later, Duchess Elena (Prince Michael's ex) flounces in and is introduced to Alexis and Amanda, who she promptly stares daggers at. Amanda pouts to Michael about Elena's presence in the palace and objects to her being on the guest list for their wedding. Prince Michael explains to the nitwit that Elena's father is a prominent man in Moldavia who needs appeasing after his daughter was so callously dumped, and that state affairs always take precedence over personal feelings. When Amanda continues to demand that Elena be banned from the wedding, Prince Michael insists that she's the only woman he loves...then tells her to stop fucking pouting 'cause his daddy probably isn't going to let him un-invite Elena. Yuri is told by a shady looking guy that he has orders from the Minister to meet up tonight to discuss Operation Crash the Royal Wedding and then Open Fire on Everyone. Prince Michael broaches the subject of banning Elena from the wedding to his father, but Galen nixes that idea and tells him that Elena has promised not to make any trouble. Alexis cattily tells Amanda she doesn't think Elena is all that, and Amanda poutishly says she hates politics, court intrigue, and has no idea how she's going to live up to the expectations of being a royal princess. Alexis stares at her incredulously and then gushes about the fabulous life she's going to enjoy living in palaces, jetting off to exotic locales, and having an army of servants catering to her every need. More importantly, she'll have a man who loves her and will one day make her queen...and Amanda mulls that over and smiles blushingly at the thought of her future queendom. Krystle arrives at Delta Rho to talk to Charles and is all, "Ack!" when she finds Sammy Jo sitting in Rock's leather chair, guzzling a glass of Rock's expensive champagne. She shoots Krystle a smug grin and chirps, "Welcome to my home!" and says she's taking full advantage of the opportunity that so unexpectedly fell into her lap. When Krystle frowns disapprovingly at the brazen show of disrespect, Sammy Jo explains that she was merely thirsty and found the champagne in the fridge...and that she's plenty respectful of all the money Rock earned during his lifetime. A few seconds later, Charles and Dex arrive and are startled to learn that Rock fathered Krystle's skanklet niece, who is now demanding to hear exactly how her father died. Jeff is hanging with Lady Ashley in her La Mirage suite, working the phones as he diligently monitors Denver Carrington's oil drilling project in Louisiana. Lady Ashley sits in his lap and jokingly accuses him of flirting with some hot Louisiana chick on the other end of the line...and he blushingly denies it before the two start smooching intensely. Charles tells Krystle, Sammy Jo, and Dex the tragic story of Rock's demise: somehow the Libyans figured out they'd infiltrated the prison, and while Rock was helping the American reporter flee, he was fatally struck by a bullet after the bad guys opened fire. Charles gets choked up and says he made the choice to continue rescuing the reporter instead of carrying out Rock's dead body 'cause he figured it was what Rock would have wanted. Krystle nods pensively and says she got the sense that Rock had a feeling he might not survive this mission...and Sammy Jo complains, "I really don't like this stuff", then stares at a framed photo of Rock and looks suitably sad as she tells the photo she's sorry they never got to know each other. Blake tells Adam he's damn impressed with the way Jeff is taking care of the Louisiana oil drilling project despite not physically being in the office. Adam sourly calls Jeff a hero even while being absent from the workplace...and Blake's like, "Uh, speaking of being absent.." and asks whassup with him spending so little time at the mansion lately. Adam says he resents not being given the same amount of privacy as Jeff, and Blake clarifies that he couldn't care less about what he does in his personal life - just as long as no other family member is hurt by it. King Galen tells Alexis how impressed he was with the way Amanda handled meeting his ministers, then gets all grab-handsy. When Alexis shoves the milquetoast weasel away, he asks her if she's rebuffing him 'cause she's expecting her husband to arrive, and reminds her that she admitted to having marital problems with Dex. Alexis breezily says that every marriage has its problems, and that whatever's going on with Dex is none of his damn business. Prince Michael escorts Amanda back to her suite and tells her he has some work to do. After he leaves, Elena appears from out of nowhere and cheekily asks, "You actually think he's in love with you, don't you?" She tells Amanda that Michael has only ever loved her, and that she shouldn't delude herself into believing that her arranged marriage could ever change that. She brags that she spent last night with Michael, who made sweet, passionate love to her...and that it wasn't the first time they've doinked since he declared his engagement. [OK - but seems physically impossible considering that Michael just returned to Moldavia after proposing to Amanda while in Denver.] Elena bitchily declares it won't be the last time she'll hit the sheets with Michael, then flounces out of the suite, leaving Amanda staring after her in enraged bewilderment. Sammy Jo drops by the mansion to visit Danny...and while she's there she needles Steven about his "pretty new boyfriend". She re-invokes her intention to sue for custody of Danny now that he's a single gay guy and she's a rich heiress. Steven gets enraged by the threat and grabs her while threatening to kill her - just as Jeannette walks by and gasps at Steven's shocking display of violence. Sammy Jo smugly points out to Steven that Jeannette will be her witness in court, and Steven calms himself down and tells her she's welcome to visit Danny any time - but only if the visit is supervised and within the four walls of the mansion. Claudia meets with Blake to tell him she'd like a written contract with respect to her job at La Mirage, but he's like, "Uh, nope" and says he's thinking about selling the hotel...and that they can discuss it more after the wedding. Claudia smugly informs him she'll be there as a guest, plans to have a rollickin' good time with her upgraded Carrington beau, and doesn't give the tiniest of rat's asses how he feels about her and Adam dating. With that said, she huffily storms out of his office. Little Danny doesn't like the story that Sammy Jo is reading to him and begs his nanny to read him something different. Krystle enters the room and tells Danny they can all have lunch together - but Danny points his little finger at Sammy Jo and snarls, "I don't wanna eat with her!" and scampers out of the room. Krystle clucks sympathetically and acknowledges to Sammy Jo how difficult things have been for her, and Sammy Jo smarmily declares how thankful she is to finally have the chance to get what she wants and isn't going to let anyone stop her. Sammy Jo storms into the Delta Rho office where Charles is on the phone and barks, "Hang up!" and says she expects a full report on the management of the ranch. A dismayed Charles tells her to chillax about the power that's suddenly gone to her head and says that after the will reading on Friday, she may not inherit as much as she thinks she should. Sammy Jo points out that as Rock's only spawn, she's pretty much guaranteed to be the sole heir...then orders Charles to fetch her a ham and cheddar cheese sandwich, along with a root beer float to wash it down. LOL. Amanda arrives at the palace's formal dinner party, and everyone gushes about how stunning she looks in her shapeless white dress. Elena cattily asks her if the "sweet gown" was made by a lesser known American designer, and Amanda says indeed it was. When Elena smugly points out that she's wearing the necklace that Michael brought her back from Acapulco, Alexis wryly calls it "a sweet souvenir" - before King Galen breaks up the snidefest by hustling everyone into the other room to check out a priceless painting. Alexis pulls Amanda aside and tells her that Elena is pulling the most common ploy in the book, and advises her to just smile and enjoy her caviar. After dinner, Alexis is strolling the palace grounds with King Galen. He tells her he admonished Elena for her catty bitchitude, then asks if she's ready to consider ending her marriage to Dex. Alexis tells him she loooooves Dex and isn't ready to give him up - just as Dex arrives at the royal residence and suspiciously watches the two from a nearby terrace. When Alexis spots him, she rushes over to kiss him hello, then introduces him to Galen. Krystle tells Blake she's off to the reading of Rock's will, and he urges her to keep her distance from Sammy Jo, who always seems to succeed in upsetting her. Krystle reminds him that she promised Rock she'd look after his daughter - but Blake snorts derisively and says that Rock wouldn't have burdened her with that responsibility if he'd known what an intolerable skank she was. Will reading! Rock's lawyer informs Sammy Jo that the bulk of Rock's estate has been bequeathed to her - but with one proviso: all monies are to be held in trust with Krystle as the estate's executor. As Krystle stares pensive-concernedly into space, a furious Sammy Jo's all, "Noooo!!" and rails about how tired she is of people telling her what to do. She shrieks, "I'm not going to put up with that kind of crud anymore!" and tells the lawyer she'll find a way to get all of her money free and clear, even if she has to drag them through a hundred courts. Krystle tries to temper her niece's rage by saying this isn't the time or place for such an outburst - and Sammy Jo shoots her the stink-eye and growls, "See you in court. And maybe Steven too." She declares that she's more than ready to take on "all the high and mighties", then flounces out of the room. Jeff and Lady Ashley return to La Mirage from horseback riding and once again start smooching intensely. Lady Ashley says she's excited to attend the royal wedding as the official photographer, but Jeff's all, "Meh" and instead proposes that they get married. Ashley's all, "The fuck?" and tells him she hasn't even thought about the two of them marrying and suggests they both think long and hard before leaping head-first into a chemistry-free, legally binding union.
Elena sneaks into Prince Michael's room wearing nothing but a frilly bathrobe and tells him that Amanda can't make him happy, not least 'cause she wasn't raised to be a royal princess. Prince Michael sighs wearily and asks her to leave, and she responds by forcibly kissing him and stripping off her bathrobe - just as Amanda enters the room. She stares at the naked Elena in stunned horror and tells Prince Michael she stopped by to apologize for her obnoxious poutiness, but sees it isn't necessary, then shouts, "And neither is this!" before taking off her engagement ring and throwing it at him. She races off down the hall, where she runs into Dex and throws herself into his arms. She cries, "My whole world is falling apart!" and implores him to get her far far away from Moldavia. Back in New York, Rita is practicing talking without a southern twang (aka exactly the way Krystle talks) for a commercial acting gig when Sammy Jo returns to her apartment. She stares at Rita in fascination as she listens to her non-twang, stares contemplatively into space, and says a bad idea just popped into her head...which is soon going to morph into an implausible, ill-conceived scheme.
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