Recap: Kelly returns from Matt's brother's funeral in New York and tells Donna that, yep, she's still committed to sticking it out with Matt, then tries not to look too dismayed when she adds, "It's right. For now." Donna clucks sympathetically for a few seconds, then flashes her engagement ring in Kelly's face and squeals, "David proposed!" and Kelly shrieks, "OMG!" and rushes Donna over to the couch and demands to hear all the details...then is all, "Wuh?" when Donna tells her that her response to David's proposal was, "I dunno." LOL. Kelly reminds her how terrific David is, and Donna concurs and says she knows he's the one (then accept his proposal, dimwit) and the two BFFs share a happy hug.
Beneath the beach house, Dylan is helping David shovel the message I love you Donna in the sand. Dylan mentions that he's graduating from CU tomorrow - but doesn't want any of his cast mates to be at the ceremony. Not sure why he's telling David then. Steve arrives and congratulates David for finally proposing to Donna, but David says the deal isn't yet sealed 'cause Donna hasn't said yes. Steve reminds him that Janet declined his initial proposal, then breezily assures him, "Eventually they come around."
The Walsh house. Steve and Janet are bickering about the Beat situation again when a grieving Matt enters the room and awkwardly stands in the doorway. Janet expresses her condolences about his brother's untimely demise, then heads off to work. Matt mumbles to Steve that his sister-in-law is pregnant, and Steve puts his concerned face on and says it's going to be tough on that baby, not having a father. Matt ponders the father-less fate of his bio fetus while staring contemplatively into space.
Kelly has rented small office digs in the same mall as Now Wear This for her little PR company and is putting the final touches on the decor when Dylan drops by. She proudly tells him she has three clients and that she staunchly believes in each of them, and Dylan praises her for following her heart, then asks her if she ever got around to talking to Matt about whatever she was babbling about in his hotel room at the end of the previous episode. She tells him she hasn't had a chance yet. Dylan tells her that earlier, David grumbled to him about how perplexed he is that two people - meaning himself and Donna - are so clearly meant for each other, but can't quite get it together as a couple. Dylan then shoots Kelly an intense stare and adds, "Neither can I" and slouches out.
Beach house. David finds Donna on the patio, staring out at the sand message he left her...which, for some reason has been shortened and now reads I love Don. Donna assumes that a girl wrote it for her boyfriend Don, so David tells her that it's his message to her, and that someone must have wiped out the last two letters of her name sometime during the night.
The Beverly Beat. Janet tells Yoffe that she has lots of clever ideas for Nouveau, the new magazine he's planning to launch, and that she's honored by his confidence in her. A few seconds later, a short woman named Ada bursts into the newsroom and barks at Yoffe, "I want to talk Nouveau!" so Yoffe hastily explains to Janet that - surprise! - he expects her and Ada to compete with each other for the editor-in-chief job by detailing what each of them believes should be the focus for Nouveau. What a dick. Janet follows him out to the elevator and is all, "Say what? I thought you wanted me to run the new magazine" so Yoffe nonchalantly tells her that Ada works out of his New York office and helps him out with all of his acquisitions. He tells Janet to submit her ideas by the end of the week, and she just stares after him looking visibly deflated.
Ellen's apartment. Ellen gabbles at Noah about how happy she is that she finally regained custody of Caitlin. She tells him that Caitlin asked her if Noah is her boyfriend, and that she didn't know how to answer. She says she knows it's too soon to talk about a commitment considering they barely know each other [and have absolutely zero chemistry on screen], but she doesn't want Caitlin to start getting attached to him if he's not willing to stick around. Noah mulls over the idea of shackling himself to a moody sourpuss drunkard and doesn't look overly enthused by the prospect.
The Walsh house. Donna drops by to bring Janet her bridesmaid dress for Kelly's soon-to-be-cancelled wedding and finds Ryan hanging in the kitchen with Steve. How adorbs! Both Spelling kids in the same scene. Steve grumbles about the boredom of being a stay-at-home dad, then says eventually he'll have to get a job once the money starts running out. Janet arrives home from work and gripes about what a disaster her day was. She and Donna go upstairs, where Janet vents at her about how mad at herself she is for thinking she wanted a challenging journalism career, but now realizes that she hates all the long hours she has to put in at the office - time that she's not spending with Steve and Maddy. Donna asks her if it bothers her that her marriage isn't perfect, and Janet tells her it's totes unrealistic to expect any relationship to be perfect...or, in her case, anything more than a barely tolerable existence while being married to a bonehead like Steve.
Beach house. Kelly arrives home and finds Matt sitting on the patio. He glumly tells her he's been thinking about his deceased brother, his sister-in-law, and her unborn baby who no longer has a father. He wails, "Things are sooooo complicated now!"
Donna joins David as he shovels more sand to complete the I love Donna message. She gabbles to him about her image of perfection, which Janet convinced her isn't actually possible. The two reminisce about when they first met and how they've grown up together over the last ten seasons, blah blah. He tells her that his love for her hasn't changed in all the years they've known each other, and she smugly says, "I know" and declares that she wants to be totally devoted to him...then finally gives him a yes to his marriage proposal. Yippee! Let the hasty wedding planning begin!
The Walsh house. Steve tells Maddy that while he loves hanging out with her, he also misses having a career. Maddy gurgles, then mumbles, "Dada.." and Steve perks up and gives his little daughter a happy squeeze for uttering her very first word.
Casa David. Donna and David are lounging in bed together, kissing and canoodling. Kelly calls David to tell him that his sand message is the sweetest thing ever, and that it made her smile when she saw it. He tells her he's available if she ever wants to talk about what ails her...then informs her that Dylan is graduating from CU today. She mulls that over and thanks him for letting her know.
The Walsh house. A chipper Steve wakes Janet, who looks like she spent the night sleeping on the couch in her work clothes. He tells her that Maddy said dada, and that he suddenly realized how lucky he is to have gobs of money, a wife, and cute baby.
Kelly drops by Dylan's hotel room as he's getting dressed for his graduation ceremony. She asks him if she can attend, but he tells her it's a private occasion...even though, as she points out, a graduation ceremony is the least private type of occasion there is. She invites him to a celebratory dinner afterwards, he accepts, and she marvels that for once in his aimless life he actually followed through with something. She coos, "I'm soooo proud of you!"
The Beverly Beat. Janet catches Ada bantering to Yoffe about her ideas for Nouveau and irritably reminds Yoffe that their ideas reports aren't due until the end of the week. Yoffe dismissively says that he and Ada were just shootin' the shit and just happened to start talking about the magazine. A few minutes later, Janet gets a call from Steve, who's spending the day at the amusement park with Maddy and Ryan. He emails her some cute photos of the three of them, and Janet stares in wistful sadness at her computer screen.
Pier. Matt meets up with Kelly and brings her a brown bag lunch. He gabbles about his pregnant sister-in-law and says he'd like to arrange for her favorite restaurant in New York to deliver food to her apartment a couple of times a week so she doesn't have to worry about cooking. Kelly remarks that he's always taking care of the people who need him, then cites his sister-in-law and schizophrenic Lauren. Matt says he'd really love to be a father figure for the baby, since his sperm did help create the tot, but knows that she (Kelly) wouldn't dig that very much. Kelly tells him she can't ask him to limit what he wants to do in his life, and he mulls that over and says he needs to have some alone time so he can fully ponder the notion of co-parenting his bio fetus.
Casa David. David orders in a pizza and brings it to the bed, where it looks like he and Donna have been spending the entire day. They talk about their future children, blah blah, and then David says he's glad he played the field for the last three years 'cause now he realizes how lucky he is to settle for her as the one. They soon abandon the pizza and start going at it again.
Kelly arrives at Dylan's hotel all fancied up for his celebratory CU graduation dinner. She snaps, "We have a problem!" and reminds him about what a thoughtless assbag he generally is and worries that he's going to let her down. Dylan promises her that things will be different this time, and that he'll do his best to not disappoint her. Kelly stares back at him in quiet contemplation.
Kelly and Dylan spend the entire night talking...and as the sun rises, she mournfully reminds him what a decent guy Matt is. Dylan says that decency isn't a reason to marry someone, and Kelly sighs deeply and declares that she wants peace more than anything...and somehow thinks it's possible for her to find lasting peace hooking up with an addiction-prone, self-centered rogue like Slouchy.
Kelly drops by Matt's office to tell him that she thinks he should go ahead and co-parent his bio fetus, and he's all, "Wuh? What about our wedding?" and she tears up and says, "I can't marry you" and wanks him by saying she's dumping him 'cause she knows he deserves better than a bitchy floozy like herself who can't stop mooning over her ex-boyfriend. Matt asks her if Dylan put her up to this, then bitches about how he just knew that Dylan would rat him out for doinking Amy in the desert during the Spring Fever episode. Kelly kind of perks up at this perfect excuse to finally extract herself from this dull-as-fuck relationship and is all, "Wuh?" so Matt rails about how Dylan finally found a way to break them up. Kelly tells him that Dylan didn't tell her anything, then looks faux stricken and backs away from him. Matt accuses her of being unfaithful to him in her own way - but Kelly denies that, says that breaking off their engagement is the right thing to do, and gives him back his teeny tiny engagement ring.
Ellen bursts into her apartment and apologizes for being late 'cause she wasn't able to get off work any earlier. Noah is there, coloring with Caitlin, and he assures her it was no problem to pick her up from school. Caitlin happily chirps to Ellen about how much she looooves Noah, then toddles off to her room. Ellen is overwhelmed by how happy her daughter is...but Noah makes a face and says that everything is happening too quickly and that he doesn't really want to commit to her right now. Ellen takes the news surprisingly well and thanks him for being upfront with her.
Beach house. Dylan slouches onto the patio, where Kelly is glaring out at the ocean. She asks him why he didn't tell her about Matt doinking Amy during their desert weekend, and Dylan mumbles that it was none of his business. Kelly rails that he lied to her...so he points out that if he had told her, she would have broken off her engagement and been with him purely out of anger at Matt...and he didn't want that. She cries, "You kept important information from meeeee!" but Dylan insists he acted like a friend, and that she'll realize that if she thinks about it hard enough.
The Peach Pit. David thanks Dylan for agreeing to be his best man and says he'd like him and Kelly to do special readings during the wedding ceremony. Oh joy.
Beach house. Donna, Kelly, and Felice are going over the plans for the wedding. Somehow they've managed to book the church, Beverly Hilton ballroom, and put in an order for flowers and a caterer. Felice is dismayed by the quickie-ness of the wedding and asks Donna if she's preggers. Hee! When Donna assures her that she has no bun in her oven, Felice asks what she's going to do about getting a wedding gown on such short notice, and Donna says that since she's been planning for her wedding her entire life [ugh - she's probably one of those obnoxious 'I want to be a princess for a day!' brides], she has a fancy boob-baring dress all custom sewn, tailored, and ready to go.
After Dark. Donna asks Nat if he would please do her the honor of walking her down the aisle, given that Papa Martin keeled over in The Final Proof episode. Nat looks touched and says it's the nicest favor anyone has ever asked of him.
The Beverly Beat. Yoffe offers Janet the editor-in-chief job for Nouveau and praises her proposal and says he chose it 'cause it had lots of heart. Steve, who has just dropped by, hugs Janet and tells her how proud of her he is...but Janet starts crying and says that running Nouveau means she's going to have to implement her many ideas, which means years of working long hours that will keep her too busy to spend any quality time with him and Maddy. Steve stares at her blankly and says, "I thought this was what you wanted" and she sniffles, "So did I."
Casa David. Donna and David are going through the guest list for the wedding. Donna remarks that Gina and Brandon (and Brenda!) won't be able to make it...and the two decide, "Screw the no-shows, this wedding needs to happen sometime during the series finale!" and start smooching.
Beach house. Steve and Kelly reminisce about the far-longer-than-necessary duration of Beverly Hills, 90210 and marvel about how they've managed to remain friends all these years. When Dylan slouches over a few minutes later, Steve beats a hasty retreat and says he's going to drop in on Janet to give her a secret surprise. Dylan gives Kelly a canoodle and asks her if she's still mad at him, and she chides him for keeping secrets from her and says that the breaking off of her engagement to Matt is going to hurt for quite some time...and by quite some time, she means she'll be totes over it in a day or so. She says that until she's ready to start things up with him again, he's going to have to be patient with her. He promises he will be and gallantly kisses her hand.
Steve brings Janet to a decrepit looking building and tells her he's been thinking very hard about everything she's been bellyaching about for the past two episodes...and that since she has too much work and he has none, they're going to need to find some balance. He opens a door and steers her inside what looks like a huge warehouse and calls it their next publishing adventure. He excitedly tells her they can work together and bring Maddy along...and Janet thinks it over, swiftly goes over all the pros and cons in her head, and agrees to give it a shot.
Beach house. The gals are gathered together for the obligatory bachelorette party, and for some reason Mrs. Teasley (what?) and Ahn-drea (blech) are in attendance. Brandon has a brief cameo appearance via videotape, and he gabbles about what a perfect couple Donna and David make and wishes them all the best. Kelly remarks that he still looks disgustingly cute, and then everyone pigs out on popcorn and ice cream, just like the gals did in Season 1's Slumber Party episode, aka the very first time Ahn-drea felt like she had friends among the A-listers. Felice rolls her eyes disinterestedly at all the reminiscing and barks at everyone to gather 'round for the toilet paper wedding dress contest...and Donna grumbles to Kelly that this party really blows. Valerie (yay!) arrives a few seconds later carrying a big box of condoms for Donna, sees Mrs. Teasley wrapping herself in toilet paper, and wryly says, "Looks like I got here just in time." Haha!
Over at the Walsh house, the guys are over-drinking and watching Brandon's best wishes videotape and his wistful declaration about how much he misses everyone. Steve (and the rest of the guys) read aloud a poem that Steve wrote called Ode to Silver about all the women David has doinked over the years...but that in the end "it was always Donna". Blech.
Beach house. Valerie tapes a Pin the Macho on the David poster on the wall, which is a large doctored photo of a naked David with a bullseye on his crotch. She explains that the objective of the game is to shoot a toy dart gun in the direction of the poster while blindfolded and aim for the bullseye. For some reason, Janet and Kelly take this opportunity to discuss their shared intimate knowledge of Steve...and Valerie also gets in on that action. A tipsy Felice, meanwhile, shoots a toy dart right at naked Davey's bullseye...and I found her glee at that accomplishment strangely disturbing.
The Walsh house. Ryan ushers a stripper into the house, and it turns out that the she is really a he...and even though all the guys gasp and shriek, "Wha-a-a-a??!", it wasn't much of a surprise to me 'cause I could spot that Adam's apple a mile away. It's too bad they didn't get Monika Schnarre to reprise her he-she role to more effectively insult the transgender community.
Church. Felice asks for a pre-wedding moment alone with her daughter so they can light a candle for Papa Martin. Donna says it feels like he's here, watching over her. Felice gushes about how proud she is to have such an amazing, cherubic, stunningly beautiful daughter.
The Walsh house. Valerie is hanging with the men and helping David put on his cufflinks. She tells everyone she has a great job in Buffalo and is seeing a guy she's pretty sure is a keeper.
Wedding time! Erin litters the church with flower petals as she walks up the aisle, and she's followed by bridesmaids Kelly and Janet before Donna makes her grand entrance with Nat. In hindsight, I wonder if Mel would have made a more sensible choice to fill in for Papa Martin. When Donna reaches the front of the church and stands beside David, Dylan and Kelly take turns with their poetry readings. Kelly chooses the lovely poem, How do I love thee...and while she's reading, Matt ambles into the back of the church, sees Kelly flashing periodic lovey gazes at Dylan, then looks dismayed and leaves. After that, David and Donna exchange custom vows...and they get tearily emotional, blah blah, and it seems to go on for a really looooong time. When they're finally pronounced husband and wife, everyone enthusiastically claps so they can move on to the fancy wedding reception at the Beverly Hilton.
David and Donna are summoned to the dance floor to press up against each other while singers Eric Benet and Tamia sing a pretty duet. Valerie tells Kelly that Matt is outside the ballroom and wants to talk to her, and Dylan scowls in irritation at the intrusion.
Kelly finds Matt standing by the gift table and tells him she figured he'd be in New York by now. He says he was on his way to the airport, but stopped himself 'cause he thinks they gave up on their relationship too easily. He then ponders whether or not their breakup was really about his desert doink with Amy, or - more likely - her unhealthy connection to Dylan. But when he lurked around the back of the church during the ceremony and saw the longing way she eyed Dylan during her poetry reading, he realized that maybe their connection wasn't so unhealthy after all. He tells her that deep down he knows that she never loved him as completely as she loves Dylan...then applauds her for making the right choice and wishes her much happiness. The two hug, and Kelly tells him that his sister-in-law's fetus is lucky to have a bio dad like him. Bye Matt!
Noah is dancing with Donna, gabbling about how Ellen wants a commitment, and that he now thinks it might be something he's willing to do. Ugh. Seems like a big mistake. Donna urges him to go for it, and he's like, "I think I will!" and rushes out. Kelly, meanwhile, returns to the ballroom and stares across the room at Dylan...and when he stares back at her, the two grin stupidly at each other.
Later, Donna and David cut the cake and feed pieces of it to each other. Kelly makes a speech about what a great brother David turned out to be, and also how grateful she is that he turned her BFF into her sister. When Donna tosses her bouquet a few minutes later, Kelly makes the lucky catch. Dylan slouches over to admire her bouquet and ask her if she'd like to dance, then hastily says it's not a one time offer and that he can wait as long as it takes. Kelly blurts out, "I don't wanna wait!" and the two share a long smooch.
As everyone hits the dance floor, we get a slo-mo montage of the cast mates laughing and gaily frolicking together...and then a slowed down version of the Beverly Hills, 90210 theme music starts playing as everyone clumps together for one last massive group hug.
And that's a wrap for the series! Thanks to all the readers out there for hanging in there to the bitter end.
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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