Recap: David and Donna are hanging out in his apartment, watching TV and leg wrestling on the couch. As things start to get amorous - ew - Noah enters the apartment, is all, "Ack!" at the disturbing display, apologizes for interrupting, and beats a hasty retreat. Donna tells David that Camille is returning to L.A. after being on vacation for a week and reminds him that she doesn't yet know that they've re-hooked up...and David offers to break the news to her as gently as humanly possible.
The Peach Pit. Matt is gabbling at Kelly about how much he looooves the idea of the two of them moving to Seattle. A few minutes later, Dylan slouches into the diner...and when Kelly chirps, "Hi Dylan!" he glowers at her and tells Nat he'll take his food to go. After he stalks out of the diner, Kelly tells Matt that Dylan somehow got it into his head that he wants to be with her, and that he told her this "in his own way" way. Not sure what that's supposed to mean, but Matt doesn't seem to care enough to ask her to elaborate. She tries to sound all breezy when she says that Dylan's just stirring things up...and Matt furrows his brows and says he doesn't want to continue selling her on the idea of moving to Seattle if she doesn't actually want to go. Kelly pretends she's all into the idea and chirps, "Tell me more about Seattle!"
Now Wear This. Camille tells Donna that David left her two phone messages and wonders aloud what could be so urgent...a reconciliation perhaps? Donna avoids making eye contact like the cowardly turd she is and mumbles that she hasn't the faintest clue what David could possibly want to talk to her about. She reminds Camille that he broke up with her 'cause they were having lots of problems, and Camille argues that the breakup came totally out of the blue, then theorizes that maybe David freaked out 'cause their relationship was too perfect too fast - 'cause why else would he dump her? Donna just shrugs helplessly as if she couldn't be more clueless about what could possibly be going through David's head at the moment.
The Walsh house. Steve tells Janet that Maddy got her first tooth, and Janet is bummed that she missed this little milestone in her daughter's life 'cause of all the long hours she's been putting in at the Beat. She says she's going to talk to Yoffe about scaling back on her workload.
While shopping for lingerie, Donna asks Kelly how Dylan's doing, and she says he's not talking to her anymore, calls him obnoxious, and adds that his chronically mopey attitude is perplexing. Donna points out that he's only acting that way 'cause he doesn't want her to marry Matt, then mentions that she talked to the Slouchster earlier and that he told her he was planning to surf in Point Dume all day.
AA. Noah gives the group a testimonial about how much he loooooved Donna...and that losing her made him drink. He then frowns at the irony of what he just said and adds that the reason he lost her was 'cause he drank. Ellen arrives for the meeting and looks pissy when she hears Noah's declaration of love for Donna, and quickly scampers off. Noah excuses himself to chase after her to see whassup, and Ellen tells him it's not easy for her to hear about his great love for St. Donna...so to avoid having to listen to anymore of his nauseating testimonials, she's going to start attending AA meetings elsewhere. Yes please, Ellen. Attend them far, far away.
The Beverly Beat. Steve drops by with Maddy in tow to say hey to Janet. She excitedly tells him that Yoffe just offered her a job running a new magazine he's planning to launch...and Steve looks miffed and grumbles, "So much for scaling back your workload."
Casa David. Noah calls Ellen at work to check up on her, and she apologizes for her bitchitude earlier, especially after all the nice things he's done for her. She babbles about how helpful it is to have a to-do list to keep her mind off of dashing to the nearest bar, blah blah, then tells him to call her if he ever needs to talk.
Camille returns to the boutique after her post-breakup lunch with David. She starts wailing about how they're never going to get back together...then turns to Donna and marvels about how impossible it is to hate her, 'cause even though she's "the other woman", she's just so darn sweet, angelic, and lovable. Donna admits that her newly reignited relationship with David is going to make it difficult for the two of them to continue working together and offers to buy out her share of the store, but Camille declines and says she really needs to keep herself busy so she won't spend the entire day crying over losing David. That last thing probably shouldn't have made me burst out laughing.
Kelly and Matt are driving to yet another prospective wedding venue when they catch a news report on the radio informing listeners that a dead surfer was just fished out of the water in Point Dume. Kelly's like, "Ooh noooo! Dylan told Donna he was going to be surfing in Point Dume today!" but Matt just shrugs disinterestedly and glumly says that the odds of the dead surfer being Slouchy are slim to none. At Kelly's insistence, he agrees to nix their wedding venue plans and drive over to Point Dume so they can verify that Dylan is still among the living. As soon as they arrive, Kelly gasps when she sees the paramedics loading up a wrapped up corpse into the ambulance. Matt says it's likely not Dylan, and that she'll probably see him very soon, acting like his usual moody, mopey self. Kelly crosses her fingers and stares worriedly into space.
After Dark. Donna joins David in the DJ booth to sit on his lap and canoodle. After that nauseating PDA, she heads over to the bar and gabbles at Steve about how deliriously happy she is. He says he's kinda jealous of her and David 'cause he never sees Janet anymore, then sternly orders Donna to make "together time" with David a priority, and Donna's like, "Er...OK."
Kelly has dragged Matt to the county morgue and is trying to get the morgue clerk to reveal the identity of the dead surfer. She says that if it is Dylan, he has no next of kin who'd be available to take the call, then wails that his father is in witness protection [and, last she heard, is calling himself Eddie Waitkus], and that his mother can never be reached 'cause she's communing with nature on a Hawaiian mountain. Kelly's cell phone rings and - phew! - it's Dylan calling to return her many messages. He asks whassup, and she's all, "Where are you??!!" so he tells her he hopped a train, headed up north, and is now eating a room service dinner in a fancy hotel. She tells him how relieved she is that he's OK, then declares, "I was wrong about something" and abruptly ends the call. Matt chooses not to ponder aloud what that pronouncement could possibly mean for their relationship and ushers Kelly out of the morgue.
Casa David. Noah packs up and tells David he's moving out 'cause he doesn't want to feel like a third wheel now that he and Donna are hitting the sheets again.
The Peach Pit. Dylan slouches over to where Kelly and Matt are having lunch, and Matt gets all pissy at his presence and ambles off to pay the check. Kelly tells Dylan that yesterday a surfer died at Point Dume, and she was worried sick for hours that it was him. She explains that she rushed straight to the morgue and dragged Matt along with her, and Dylan shoots her a WTF? stare and croaks, "What are you doing with your life?" then makes a blech face and goes, "Matt..?" LOL. Kelly stares back at him sheepishly, then gets up and exits the diner.
The Walsh house. Steve tells Janet he misses publishing his own newspaper and hanging out with her all day, and Janet's like, "Thanks for sharing" and rushes off to work.
Casa David. Donna comes over to hang with David, but finds him comforting a tearful Camille. David pulls Donna aside and tells her that Camille showed up unannounced and starting sobbing uncontrollably, and Donna says it's totes fine with her if he spends the evening sorting out his post-breakup mess.
Noah is at a batting cage when Ellen shows up for some banal chit-chat, and I came pretty close to hitting the fast forward button.
Beach house. Donna tells Kelly that Camille is at Casa David right now, sobbing on his sofa. She wonders if David isn't really in love with her after all, and thinks that maybe he just cares for her in a sisterly kind of way. Kelly tells her that maybe David is just trying to take things slow...then changes the subject and tells her about the dead surfer at Point Dume, and that all she could think about was the devastation of never seeing Dylan again. Donna perks up at that and squeals, "It sounds like love!" and Kelly says she now knows it is, and that she's going to have to get around to doing something about it before the end credits of the series finale start rolling.
The Walsh house. Janet tells Steve she's thought about their work conundrum and decided that she doesn't want to pass up the opportunity to head up Yoffe's new magazine. Steve grumbles that her career choice may work well for her, but that it isn't working out very well for them. I can't decide which subplot bores me more: the Steve/Janet Beat conundrum or the Noah/Ellen AA snorefest.
Now Wear This. Camille apologizes to Donna for ruining her evening with David - but insists she had to see him 'cause she really really misses him. Donna winces and says it's prolly not appropriate for her to be listening to all this bellyaching about her and David and once again suggests she buy out her share of the boutique. Camille tearfully agrees, and wanks Donna in advance for being unfailingly fair and generous about the terms of the buyout 'cause she's just so darn awesome. Donna modestly concurs, then says she's going to miss her.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Kelly drops by to invite Dylan to go for a walk with her, but he declines and then flops onto his sofa, since by this point in the series it looked like he was barely able to even sit upright anymore. He says he's not interested in hanging with her as long as she's engaged to someone else, and that he can't bring himself to be happy for her. Kelly replies, "I'm glad" and says she can't imagine losing him, then talks in riddles for a few more minutes before heading out.
After Dark. Ellen drops by the bar in the middle of the afternoon to hang with Noah. She gabbles at him about how Caitlin's bio dad is now a happily married father of two, whines that she feels like she's being held back in her life, admits that she was upset about him professing his love for Donna during AA meetings, and says her to-do lists help distract her from drinking. I'm actually intrigued that Noah finds this dull-as-fuck, whiny pill of a woman remotely interesting.
Beach house. A despondent looking Matt drops by to inform Kelly that his brother Patrick was just killed in a car accident, and that he has to fly to New York asap to attend his funeral. A shocked Kelly murmurs obligatory words of support and offers to accompany him to New York.
Casa David. Donna comes over and finds David sitting on his front steps. She blurts out, "I love you" and says it's A-OK if he only has sisterly feelings for her. David makes a face and calls that gross, so she gleefully tells him she bought new underwear while lingerie shopping with Kelly. David pulls out her high school yearbook and reads the passage he wrote to her, which includes a paragraph about his desire to one day get her to marry him. He then ushers her inside, where candles are lit everywhere. He presents her with a diamond ring, drops to one knee, and proposes. Donna tears up and whimpers, "I dunno" - LOL - then says she needs a little time to think about it. David's like, "Er, OK..?" and it's at this very awkward moment that the episode abruptly ends.
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12/16/2019 06:08:09 pm
Camille needs to get a grip! You dated David for like a day.
1/9/2020 12:30:52 pm
I don't understand what the big deal is with Steve. Sell the paper and with the $ start up a new one. Idk. Take cooking classes. Invest the $. Geez.
9/17/2020 10:13:18 am
Agreed! It's 750k. That's a nice little nest egg on top of that $40k he still has from his grandfather. He could easily create something even better with that!
7/20/2020 06:26:36 pm
I have a feeling we could be great friends. I too am sleeping through episodes at this point wondering what’s more boring Steve/Janet or Noah/Ellen. Ellen is insufferable!!! Matt’s brother died. Huh? David proposes even though he was with Camille ten minutes ago? What the hell.
3/18/2021 10:08:38 am
Wait. When Donna tells David that she is afraid that he thinks of kissing her as kissing his sister, did David actually say he only has a step-sister? What about Erin? Poor thing.
10/12/2021 11:07:45 am
"then flops onto his sofa, since by this point in the series it looked like he was barely able to even sit upright anymore."
1/21/2022 12:55:18 pm
“The disturbing display”!🤣🤣🤣. Reading these recaps provide a daily dose of humor everyday. I watched the show from the very first episode all the way through. Love, love, love the recaps and love your writing style!!!
Isabel. K. French
1/21/2022 01:47:20 pm
Thank you so much for the kind words. It is so rewarding to provide daily doses of humour. We all need it!
11/6/2022 08:01:59 am
So… David forgot about Erin? And actually, he hasn’t referred to Kelly as his sister since a few seasons ago. In one episode he even referred to her as sexy. Ew. But she’s his step-sister, so either he forgot about Erin or doesn’t realize that she’s his half-sister. Either way, derp. Also, just sayin- David was not like ‘er, ok…’ He was actually really decent about it and said it was ok that she needed time. Again- just sayin.
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