- Published on
Stephanie is strong-armed into visiting Nana
"It's About Trust"
Original airdate: 11/30/2008
Episode summary: Spencer, Stephanie, and Heidi pay a visit to Nana in Huntington Beach. Audrina meets with Lauren to apologize for perpetrating the rumor that she hooked up with Justin.
Original airdate: 11/30/2008
Episode summary: Spencer, Stephanie, and Heidi pay a visit to Nana in Huntington Beach. Audrina meets with Lauren to apologize for perpetrating the rumor that she hooked up with Justin.
Recap: Lauren tells Lo she's still bummed about Audrina accusing her of doing the nasty with Justin...and that, in essence, his shitty treatment of Audrina is a big part of why they're even having this conversation right now. Lo points out that being accused of something this heinous can only stem from a complete lack of trust, and Lauren concurs and says that she's going to need Audrina to express genuine contriteness if she expects to be forgiven.
Over at Epic Records, Audrina tells Chiara about her contentious encounter with Lauren at Winston's last night, and that Lauren accused her of humiliating her without any tangible evidence of wrongdoing. She also recaps that when she finally met up with Justin, he admonished her for all of the bitchy voicemail messages and texts she sent him and then abruptly exited the bar...and they haven't spoken since. Audrina admits that she now believes nothing actually happened between Lauren and Justin, and that she wishes she hadn't spent much of the previous episode perpetrating such an implausible rumor, and wishes they go back to the way everything was, two short episodes ago. Chiara reacts to this contrived lunacy by shaking her head in dismay.
Over at Epic Records, Audrina tells Chiara about her contentious encounter with Lauren at Winston's last night, and that Lauren accused her of humiliating her without any tangible evidence of wrongdoing. She also recaps that when she finally met up with Justin, he admonished her for all of the bitchy voicemail messages and texts she sent him and then abruptly exited the bar...and they haven't spoken since. Audrina admits that she now believes nothing actually happened between Lauren and Justin, and that she wishes she hadn't spent much of the previous episode perpetrating such an implausible rumor, and wishes they go back to the way everything was, two short episodes ago. Chiara reacts to this contrived lunacy by shaking her head in dismay.
"So, to summarize...no hanky panky of any kind occurred between Lauren and Justin."
"I sheepishly concede."
Spencer drops by Stephanie's apartment to pressure her into tagging along to Nana's place in Huntington Beach when he and Heidi visit her tomorrow. Stephanie whines that she's sooooo busy with school and work and can't easily do it on a weekday - but Spencer strongly urges her to carve out some time to check in with Nana and do whatever it takes to get herself back into the eighty-four year old's good graces.
While frolicking in Lauren's pool, Brody comes right out and asks, "Why are you banging Justin-Bobby?", adding that that rumor is some the craziest shit he's ever heard. Lauren complains about the embarrassment of people asking her about it and wonders aloud when exactly Audrina took a turn into cuckoo-town. Brody tells her that people inexplicably change, and advises her to cut Audrina from the Hills posse.
Audrina tells her sister Casey that Justin still isn't talking to her, and Casey kind of grins at that silver lining and says she totally gets why Lauren would be so upset, and urges her to apologize to Lauren for making such wild, baseless accusations.
Spencer, Heidi, and Stephanie arrive at Nana's house in Huntington Beach and greet Nana hello...and Spencer and Heidi smugly point out how often they drop by - unlike Stephanie, who's been dickishly ignoring her kindly grandparent. While enjoying refreshments on the patio, Nana asks Stephanie what's new, and Spencer interjects and tattles about how Stephanie has become besties with "the person that was talking mean about poor, sweet Heidi". Nana clucks, "Oh dear" ... and when Spencer and Stephanie start bickering, Nana snaps at them to shut it, 'cause she much prefers it when everyone is happy and gets along. Spencer reacts by calling Stephanie out for not visiting Nana frequently enough, prompting Stephanie to make special plans to hang out with Nana for much of the following day.
While frolicking in Lauren's pool, Brody comes right out and asks, "Why are you banging Justin-Bobby?", adding that that rumor is some the craziest shit he's ever heard. Lauren complains about the embarrassment of people asking her about it and wonders aloud when exactly Audrina took a turn into cuckoo-town. Brody tells her that people inexplicably change, and advises her to cut Audrina from the Hills posse.
Audrina tells her sister Casey that Justin still isn't talking to her, and Casey kind of grins at that silver lining and says she totally gets why Lauren would be so upset, and urges her to apologize to Lauren for making such wild, baseless accusations.
Spencer, Heidi, and Stephanie arrive at Nana's house in Huntington Beach and greet Nana hello...and Spencer and Heidi smugly point out how often they drop by - unlike Stephanie, who's been dickishly ignoring her kindly grandparent. While enjoying refreshments on the patio, Nana asks Stephanie what's new, and Spencer interjects and tattles about how Stephanie has become besties with "the person that was talking mean about poor, sweet Heidi". Nana clucks, "Oh dear" ... and when Spencer and Stephanie start bickering, Nana snaps at them to shut it, 'cause she much prefers it when everyone is happy and gets along. Spencer reacts by calling Stephanie out for not visiting Nana frequently enough, prompting Stephanie to make special plans to hang out with Nana for much of the following day.
"Stephanie demonstrates no loyalty to the Pratt clan."
"Spencer should shut the fuck up."
"Oh dear."
At People's Revolution, Lauren tells Whitney that Audrina wants them to meet up and hopefully make peace. She adds that she's not wild about the idea of continuing to discuss the rumor of her getting nailed by Justin - but Whitney points out that maybe Audrina will have something more worthwhile to say than the verbal garbage she blurted out at Winston's the other night. Lauren mulls that over while staring contemplatively into space.
Stephanie and Nana stroll along Santa Monica Beach before taking a rest on a park bench, and Nana remarks on how much she likes the two of them having their own private time. Stephanie remarks on how whenever she (Nana) comes into town, she tends to only visit Spencer and Heidi, and Nana says that in her defence it's not her intention to exclude her. Stephanie says that things between herself and Spencer always seem to devolve into a competition, and that he likes having the spotlight on himself (e.g. as evidenced by the way he finagled himself into become a regular Hills cast mate), and Nana just kind of shrugs and says she mostly judges him by the kind manner he treats her. Stephanie argues that if she knew what he was really like, she wouldn't like him very much, to which Nana unhelpfully replies, "Life is sometimes a bucket of worms and you don't know what to do with them." Stephanie chuckles and says that that's how she feels about Spencer, and doesn't get why he's always so mean to her...and Nana just advises her to give him a chance to mature.
Stephanie and Nana stroll along Santa Monica Beach before taking a rest on a park bench, and Nana remarks on how much she likes the two of them having their own private time. Stephanie remarks on how whenever she (Nana) comes into town, she tends to only visit Spencer and Heidi, and Nana says that in her defence it's not her intention to exclude her. Stephanie says that things between herself and Spencer always seem to devolve into a competition, and that he likes having the spotlight on himself (e.g. as evidenced by the way he finagled himself into become a regular Hills cast mate), and Nana just kind of shrugs and says she mostly judges him by the kind manner he treats her. Stephanie argues that if she knew what he was really like, she wouldn't like him very much, to which Nana unhelpfully replies, "Life is sometimes a bucket of worms and you don't know what to do with them." Stephanie chuckles and says that that's how she feels about Spencer, and doesn't get why he's always so mean to her...and Nana just advises her to give him a chance to mature.
"Life is like a box of chocolates."
"Also a bucket of worms."
Over at Bond Street, Audrina admits to Lauren that her accusations about hooking up with Justin have created one hot mess for her on camera Hills friendships, and Lauren concurs that, yep, she definitely accused her of some pretty crazy shit and that common sense should have dictated that she'd never hook up with her boyfriend, much less a disheveled hobo who can barely bring himself to commit to daily hygiene. Audrina sheepishly says she was sooooo sure that Dino was telling the truth - but that she now regrets not trusting her and/or Justin. Lauren laughingly retorts, "I get why you didn't trust Justin", then says she's watched her repeatedly crawl back to that douche-nozzle and openly trust him with her feelings and heart - while at the same time being wholly unwilling to give her the benefit of the doubt. Audrina reveals that she's pretty sure if Justin weren't in her life she'd be a lot happier, and Lauren's like, "Well d'yuh" and insists that happiness should always come first. Audrina says that not only has she not been happy lately, she's been feeling very torn up and lost...and knows how unhealthy it is to not trust anyone. Lauren points out that there are plenty of people who want the best for her, and assures her she can always trust her to want her to never be sad. The two then exit the bar together, hug goodbye, and agree to meet up again soon.
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Bolthouse has downgraded Heidi to a spacious cubicle
"You Did This"
Original airdate: 11/23/2008
Episode summary: Audrina seemingly believes the nonsensical rumor that Lauren hooked up with Justin. Holly reconnects with Heidi.
Original airdate: 11/23/2008
Episode summary: Audrina seemingly believes the nonsensical rumor that Lauren hooked up with Justin. Holly reconnects with Heidi.
Recap: Inside the lush Epic Records lunch garden, a visibly peeved Audrina is telling Chiara that some rando named Dino (a close buddy of Justin's) told her the [fantastically made-up] tale that Justin and Lauren hooked when no MTV cameras were around to capture it on film. Apparently, when Audrina called Lauren to ask if there was any truth to what anyone in their right mind would just assume is a silly rumor that one or more Hills producers dreamed up in order to stir shit up among the reality show cast mates, Lauren haughtily told her she'd never do anything resembling hitting the sheets with her friend's boyfriend, and then abruptly hung up - then followed up with a text that expressed how perplexing it is that she'd accuse her of bumping uglies with a guy she's made so secret of the fact is utterly loathsome to her. Audrina attempted to corroborate this denial with a denial from Justin - but since he's not responding to her phone calls, she has no idea what to believe. Chiara tries to feign as much interest in this utter stoooopidity of a subplot as she can muster and urges Audrina to get to the bottom of The Unlikely Mystery of Whether or Not Lauren and Justin Hit the Sheets Together...and when Audrina starts sobbing, Chiara gives her a comforting hug.
An incredulous Lauren tells Lo how batshit banana-brain Audrina has been acting towards her, asking if she hooked up with Justin. She initially reacted to this lunacy by laughing out loud before scrunching her face perplexedly and replying, "Nooooooo." She further complains that Audrina is suddenly so cuckoo-nutty over this that she seriously truly genuinely thinks that she (Lauren) hooked up with the repugnant slob and subsequently called her 1) a bad friend, 2) a shady person, and 3) a slut. Lauren then sarcastically faux admits, "I couldn't resist his charm, and his manner, his impeccable hygiene. I was under the Justin Bobby spell." As Lo chuckles at a rumor so asinine that it never should have grown beyond the initial query phase, Lauren further complains that Audrina is calling their mutual friends (Brody, Frankie, et. al.) to spread the preposterous lie...and that unless Audrina apologizes for the fucktarded way she's been handling this idiotic situation, she's done.
An incredulous Lauren tells Lo how batshit banana-brain Audrina has been acting towards her, asking if she hooked up with Justin. She initially reacted to this lunacy by laughing out loud before scrunching her face perplexedly and replying, "Nooooooo." She further complains that Audrina is suddenly so cuckoo-nutty over this that she seriously truly genuinely thinks that she (Lauren) hooked up with the repugnant slob and subsequently called her 1) a bad friend, 2) a shady person, and 3) a slut. Lauren then sarcastically faux admits, "I couldn't resist his charm, and his manner, his impeccable hygiene. I was under the Justin Bobby spell." As Lo chuckles at a rumor so asinine that it never should have grown beyond the initial query phase, Lauren further complains that Audrina is calling their mutual friends (Brody, Frankie, et. al.) to spread the preposterous lie...and that unless Audrina apologizes for the fucktarded way she's been handling this idiotic situation, she's done.
"There's a rumor going around that I banged Justin-Bobby."
"That reeks of desperation - even for a Hills producer."
Holly drops by Casa Pratt/Montag to pay a visit to Heidi, and Spencer mockingly calls her "little miss traitor" and tells her that Heidi isn't home...and even if she were, he doubts she'd be interested in seeing her traitorous sister. He further admonishes her for moving in with Lauren - a tidbit that a dismayed Heidi had to learn from Stephanie. Holly calls him out for not having Heidi's bests interests at heart (the way she and Stephanie do) and that he cares only about himself - then abruptly stops talking and asks him to pass along the message to Heidi that she stopped by.
Audrina stops by Lauren's house as part of a second attempt to get to the bottom of The Unlikely Mystery of Whether or Not Lauren and Justin Hit the Sheets Together...and Lauren just silently glares at her and waits for her to initiate the conversation. When Audrina says that they're both going to need to converse, Lauren tells her she refuses to talk to her like a friend until she (Audrina) starts treating her (Lauren) like one, then asks why, in the name of all that is holy, she's acting like such a crazy person. Audrina comes right out and asks her - probably for the hundredth time - if she rode Justin's baloney pony or not, to which Lauren laughingly calls her insane. A humorless Audrina is all, "I'm dead serious", and Lauren disdainfully says she can believe whatever crudely invented bullcack she wants - but that she needs to stop talking shit about her to their mutual friends.
Later, Audrina leaves Justin another voicemail message, instructing him to call her back so they can get to the bottom of the troubling rumor that she's been largely responsible for circulating among the Hills posse. She expresses how much it's freaking her out that he's been so mute on the issue...and that when she lets her imagination go wild and visualizes him and Lauren bumping uglies, it makes her sick to her stomach.
Holly drops by Bolthouse to visit Heidi, and is surprised to see her working out of a cubicle. She further rubs it in by remarking, "I thought you had an office" ... so Heidi points at her former office and explains that she used to pretend to work in that much more luxurious space - before she became a drunken spectacle at a Bolthouse event and was subsequently faux fired, then re-structured into this little cubicle. Holly says she's been so incommunicado lately 'cause she felt hurt after getting steel-toed out of the apartment, and Heidi counters by telling her how hurt she is by the fact that she (Holly) is currently living with Lauren, her former bestie who wants nothing to do with her. Holly says she didn't feel as if she had any alternative, calls Spencer the primary source of her life problems, and argues that he should want every part of her life to be great. She asks Heidi if the cretin even bothered to tell her that she stopped by the apartment the other day, and Heidi just stares back at her mutely...so I'm guessing not.
That evening, Audrina meets up with a somber-faced Justin at Cobras & Matadors. She wastes little time before coming right out and asking if he and Lauren knocked boots, and he replies by asking her if she seriously truly genuinely thinks that after everything they've endured he'd hook up with her BFF. Audrina's all, "D'yuh..?" and says that Dino seemed so adamant about it...and Justin insists that it did unequivocally not happen, then chides her for the verbally abusive messages she's been leaving on his voicemail. When he admonishes her for her immaturity in perpetuating this kind of ridiculousness and negatively affecting various other people, she sadly says she's pretty sure she lost her friendship with Lauren over this. Justin pronounces the situation far too stupid for even him to chew on any further and mumbles, "You put something in your head and you think you really believe it - when it's really fictitious" before getting up and exiting the bar.
Audrina stops by Lauren's house as part of a second attempt to get to the bottom of The Unlikely Mystery of Whether or Not Lauren and Justin Hit the Sheets Together...and Lauren just silently glares at her and waits for her to initiate the conversation. When Audrina says that they're both going to need to converse, Lauren tells her she refuses to talk to her like a friend until she (Audrina) starts treating her (Lauren) like one, then asks why, in the name of all that is holy, she's acting like such a crazy person. Audrina comes right out and asks her - probably for the hundredth time - if she rode Justin's baloney pony or not, to which Lauren laughingly calls her insane. A humorless Audrina is all, "I'm dead serious", and Lauren disdainfully says she can believe whatever crudely invented bullcack she wants - but that she needs to stop talking shit about her to their mutual friends.
Later, Audrina leaves Justin another voicemail message, instructing him to call her back so they can get to the bottom of the troubling rumor that she's been largely responsible for circulating among the Hills posse. She expresses how much it's freaking her out that he's been so mute on the issue...and that when she lets her imagination go wild and visualizes him and Lauren bumping uglies, it makes her sick to her stomach.
Holly drops by Bolthouse to visit Heidi, and is surprised to see her working out of a cubicle. She further rubs it in by remarking, "I thought you had an office" ... so Heidi points at her former office and explains that she used to pretend to work in that much more luxurious space - before she became a drunken spectacle at a Bolthouse event and was subsequently faux fired, then re-structured into this little cubicle. Holly says she's been so incommunicado lately 'cause she felt hurt after getting steel-toed out of the apartment, and Heidi counters by telling her how hurt she is by the fact that she (Holly) is currently living with Lauren, her former bestie who wants nothing to do with her. Holly says she didn't feel as if she had any alternative, calls Spencer the primary source of her life problems, and argues that he should want every part of her life to be great. She asks Heidi if the cretin even bothered to tell her that she stopped by the apartment the other day, and Heidi just stares back at her mutely...so I'm guessing not.
That evening, Audrina meets up with a somber-faced Justin at Cobras & Matadors. She wastes little time before coming right out and asking if he and Lauren knocked boots, and he replies by asking her if she seriously truly genuinely thinks that after everything they've endured he'd hook up with her BFF. Audrina's all, "D'yuh..?" and says that Dino seemed so adamant about it...and Justin insists that it did unequivocally not happen, then chides her for the verbally abusive messages she's been leaving on his voicemail. When he admonishes her for her immaturity in perpetuating this kind of ridiculousness and negatively affecting various other people, she sadly says she's pretty sure she lost her friendship with Lauren over this. Justin pronounces the situation far too stupid for even him to chew on any further and mumbles, "You put something in your head and you think you really believe it - when it's really fictitious" before getting up and exiting the bar.
"Blink twice if you penetrated Lauren's naughty parts."
"This contrived nonsense is too nonsensical, even for me."
Lauren meets up with Stephanie to discuss The Unlikely Mystery of Whether or Not She and Justin Hit the Sheets Together...and Stephanie says she learned all about it when Audrina texted her the sordid details. When Lauren rails about how bonkers it is that Audrina would think that she'd actually want to sex it up with the human sloppy Joe, Stephanie points out that, in Audrina's defence, Justin has set a precedent of sleeping with her friends (ew). Lauren's like, "But me..? That's the part that sucks." She adds that she and Audrina are scheduled to meet up at Winston's later - but that she doesn't feel as though this rumor-fuelled schmozzle is something they can come back from, and that she has no desire to have a friend who doesn't trust her. Stephanie nods sympathetically and agrees, "This is soooooo nuts." That it is, Stephanie. That it is.
Heidi returns home, complains to Spencer that work isn't as fun as it used to be when she could pretend she had her own office...and Spencer responds by chuckling at her downgraded cubicle status. Heidi chides him for having zero ability to understand what a humiliating demotion feels, then asks if anything interesting happened while she was gone - e.g. did anyone stop by the apartment, perhaps? He's like, "Er, nope. Nothing comes to mind" and a dismayed Heidi mutters, "Really nice" and slinks off to the bedroom.
Heidi returns home, complains to Spencer that work isn't as fun as it used to be when she could pretend she had her own office...and Spencer responds by chuckling at her downgraded cubicle status. Heidi chides him for having zero ability to understand what a humiliating demotion feels, then asks if anything interesting happened while she was gone - e.g. did anyone stop by the apartment, perhaps? He's like, "Er, nope. Nothing comes to mind" and a dismayed Heidi mutters, "Really nice" and slinks off to the bedroom.
"Did anyone related to me stop by the apartment to visit?"
"Not to my selective recollection."
Audrina tells her sister Casey that her conversation with Justin did not go well, and that this whole contrived subplot keeps getting worse, the more she talks about it...but yet continues to endlessly talk about it. She says that Lauren looked at her as though she was the one who was hurt - but she (Audrina) is going to stubbornly dig in on not issuing an apology 'cause she didn't specifically accuse her of engaging in any disreputable hanky panky. Casey chews on those verbal gymnastics for a few seconds, then points out how pissed she'd be if someone repeatedly asked her if she did something as nauseatingly tawdry as voluntarily hooking up with Justin, then decrees (though it's unclear exactly to whom), "Everyone needs to grow up."
That evening, Audrina arrives at Winston's with a mysterious older brunette woman (who I can only assume is a Hills producer) ... and the two make a beeline over to where Lauren and Lo are sitting. Audrina points out to Lauren that she never made a direct accusation about her/Justin/hanky-panky-gate, to which Lauren argues that she's asked her several times about whether she and Justin did the horizontal mambo, and every time she replied, "Fuck no...obviously", which hasn't seemed adequate in convincing her that absolutely nothing happened. When she asks Audrina what she's ever done to make her think she's capable of something like this, Audrina weakly says that witnesses have alleged that she once flirted with Justin. Lauren stares back at her in disdainful incredulity and snappishly retorts that she'd rather kill herself than hook up with that unkempt vagabond. She then cries, "You know me!" and Audrina shakes her head as if to say, "Apparently not" ... and as she leaves with the table with the Hills producer, Lauren starts sobbing and is given a comforting hug by Lo.
That evening, Audrina arrives at Winston's with a mysterious older brunette woman (who I can only assume is a Hills producer) ... and the two make a beeline over to where Lauren and Lo are sitting. Audrina points out to Lauren that she never made a direct accusation about her/Justin/hanky-panky-gate, to which Lauren argues that she's asked her several times about whether she and Justin did the horizontal mambo, and every time she replied, "Fuck no...obviously", which hasn't seemed adequate in convincing her that absolutely nothing happened. When she asks Audrina what she's ever done to make her think she's capable of something like this, Audrina weakly says that witnesses have alleged that she once flirted with Justin. Lauren stares back at her in disdainful incredulity and snappishly retorts that she'd rather kill herself than hook up with that unkempt vagabond. She then cries, "You know me!" and Audrina shakes her head as if to say, "Apparently not" ... and as she leaves with the table with the Hills producer, Lauren starts sobbing and is given a comforting hug by Lo.
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Holly is elated to no longer be among L.A.'s homeless population
"One Last Chance"
Original airdate: 11/16/2008
Episode summary: Holly moves in with Lauren and Lo. Heidi meets with Sam and asks to get reinstated at Bolthouse. Audrina and Justin continue to bond as boyfriend/girlfriend.
Original airdate: 11/16/2008
Episode summary: Holly moves in with Lauren and Lo. Heidi meets with Sam and asks to get reinstated at Bolthouse. Audrina and Justin continue to bond as boyfriend/girlfriend.
Recap: While "working" at People's Revolution, Whitney tells Lauren that she and Jay have been keeping in touch, and gushes about how she can't wait to jet back to New York to see him again. Lauren shares that Holly is currently crashing at her/Lo's house, and that she's mildly concerned about how horribly Heidi/Spencer are going to treat their family member now that she's cohabitating with "the enemy". Whitney says they really have no right to object to where Holly lives, given that they kicked her out of their apartment...then remarks on what a sweet girl Holly is, characterizing her "like Heidi - but without Spencer" and Lauren chews on that description for a few seconds before wistfully sighing.
While ambling around Venice Beach, Justin - who's (not uncharacteristically) dressed like a disheveled homeless man - waxes poetic at Audrina about how much more he loooooves it here than he does the craziness of Hollywood, adding, "There's something zen-ful about it." He suggests they vacation in Mexico together so he can teach her how to surf, and Audrina says she definitely likes that idea, and pats herself on the back for making the decision to move into her own house and permanently squash the tension that had been brewing with Lauren and Lo.
Heidi is glumly reorganizing her closet when Spencer hovers in the doorway and asks her if she wants to go to the movies. She tells him she's not in the mood and blames him for her faux firing from Bolthouse...to which he points out that no one held a gun to her head and forced her to get drunk at a work-related event. Heidi says she's hopeful that Sam will pretend to rehire her, then grumbles about how additionally unhappy she is about her recent falling out with Holly. Spencer says he's not upset about that in the least 'cause Holly's a grown woman and needed evicting, then chides Heidi for choosing to bellyache all day instead of enjoying life.
That evening at Winston's, Audrina tells Lauren she really really wants to show her her new place...then gabbles about how thrilled she is that Justin seems very into the idea of the two of them hanging out more, and that he's reached the age/maturity level (?) of being over 'the whole Hollywood partying' thing. She says she connects with him more than any other guy she's ever hooked up with, and Lauren wankingly agrees that the aloof slob is her "number one".
The next day, Casey drops by Audrina's new house to check on the decorating/furnishing progress. A blissful Audrina tells her that Justin has been hanging out here a lot, keeps a toothbrush in the bathroom (squeal!), and has promised to teach her how to surf in Mexico. Casey looks less than impressed by all the Justin talk and asks if he still does the whole 'disappear for a week and not return your phone calls or texts' thing. Audrina admits that, yeah, he does - but that she chooses to not dwell on his overall lack of consideration towards her. Casey, who seems wholly unable to hide her incredulity at her sister's insistence on dating such an undeserving boor, says it really seems as though this quasi-relationship is mostly at his convenience, to which Audrina replies, "I really feel like he's been making more of an effort and hanging out" ... then just kind of throws up her hands and says, "What can I say? I looove him." Casey dismayingly shrugs as she half-heartedly murmurs, "As long as you're happy."
While ambling around Venice Beach, Justin - who's (not uncharacteristically) dressed like a disheveled homeless man - waxes poetic at Audrina about how much more he loooooves it here than he does the craziness of Hollywood, adding, "There's something zen-ful about it." He suggests they vacation in Mexico together so he can teach her how to surf, and Audrina says she definitely likes that idea, and pats herself on the back for making the decision to move into her own house and permanently squash the tension that had been brewing with Lauren and Lo.
Heidi is glumly reorganizing her closet when Spencer hovers in the doorway and asks her if she wants to go to the movies. She tells him she's not in the mood and blames him for her faux firing from Bolthouse...to which he points out that no one held a gun to her head and forced her to get drunk at a work-related event. Heidi says she's hopeful that Sam will pretend to rehire her, then grumbles about how additionally unhappy she is about her recent falling out with Holly. Spencer says he's not upset about that in the least 'cause Holly's a grown woman and needed evicting, then chides Heidi for choosing to bellyache all day instead of enjoying life.
That evening at Winston's, Audrina tells Lauren she really really wants to show her her new place...then gabbles about how thrilled she is that Justin seems very into the idea of the two of them hanging out more, and that he's reached the age/maturity level (?) of being over 'the whole Hollywood partying' thing. She says she connects with him more than any other guy she's ever hooked up with, and Lauren wankingly agrees that the aloof slob is her "number one".
The next day, Casey drops by Audrina's new house to check on the decorating/furnishing progress. A blissful Audrina tells her that Justin has been hanging out here a lot, keeps a toothbrush in the bathroom (squeal!), and has promised to teach her how to surf in Mexico. Casey looks less than impressed by all the Justin talk and asks if he still does the whole 'disappear for a week and not return your phone calls or texts' thing. Audrina admits that, yeah, he does - but that she chooses to not dwell on his overall lack of consideration towards her. Casey, who seems wholly unable to hide her incredulity at her sister's insistence on dating such an undeserving boor, says it really seems as though this quasi-relationship is mostly at his convenience, to which Audrina replies, "I really feel like he's been making more of an effort and hanging out" ... then just kind of throws up her hands and says, "What can I say? I looove him." Casey dismayingly shrugs as she half-heartedly murmurs, "As long as you're happy."
"Justin treats me like garbage sometimes - but I'm fully trained to not dwell on it."
"That sounds soul-destroyingly fantastic."
Heidi arrives at Bolthouse for a one-on-one with Sam, who makes an earnest effort in front of the MTV cameras to look as though he's being interrupted during an extremely busy workday. Sam tells Heidi that Brent asked him to talk to her, then shakes his head incredulously as he asks what her deal is...and when Heidi tries to clarify if he's specifically referring to her inexplicable coupling with Spencer, he stares at her even more incredulously (LOL) and replies, "The Spencer thing I don't even get. But that's your problem." Heidi contritely says she looooooves all things Bolthouse, and fully concedes that there was no excuse for her drunkenness at XIV the other night. Sam pretends to seriously mull over her apology, remarks on how happy Brent has been with her pretend work, and manages to keep a straight face as he says, "You seem like a very smart girl." He ultimately decides to throw her a bone by assigning her to work on a [what I can only assume is a fictional] hotel - on a faux trial basis. He lays out two conditions..
- She's going to have to prove herself all over again
- She's going to have to keep Spencer far away from all Bolthouse properties
"I'm going to put you in charge of a non-existent hotel project."
"Non-existent projects are my specialty."
Over at FIDM, Lauren informs Stephanie that Holly is now crashing at her place, and Stephanie looks surprised by that and murmurs, "Oh my God.." as she wonders aloud the problems this new living arrangement is going to further exacerbate between Holly and Heidi. Lauren just kind of shrugs and makes it clear that she couldn't give even the tiniest of shits about how negatively it's going to affect Heidi.
That evening, Holly tells Lauren and Lo that Heidi was egged on by Spencer (who was egged on by Stephanie) to kick her out of the apartment. Holly laments the deterioration of her relationship with her sister/former BFF...and when Lo asks her if Spencer was outright mean to her, she replies, "Oh, like openly and unabashedly." A dismayed Lauren shakes her head at that and remarks on how Spencer seems to drive away everyone who cares about Heidi.
Stephanie drops by Casa Pratt/Montag to break the news to Heidi and Spencer that Holly is now living with Lauren and Lo...and when a puzzled looking Heidi asks why Lauren would extend that kind of invitation to her sister, Stephanie chucklingly replies, "'Cause Holly was homeless. Who's going to say no to a homeless person?" Spencer grumbles that he wouldn't put it past Darlene (aka Stalker Mom) to have orchestrated the whole thing [despite the nonsensicalness of that theory], then declares it an act of karma that Lauren now has "the mooch of the century" living in her house. Heidi sadly wonders when or if she'll ever talk to her sister again and admonishes Spencer for having zero empathy 'bout that...and when he reacts by wholeheartedly agreeing with that second thing, she calls him a rude, insensitive ass and suggests that maybe he's been the problem all along. Well d'yuh.
That evening, Holly tells Lauren and Lo that Heidi was egged on by Spencer (who was egged on by Stephanie) to kick her out of the apartment. Holly laments the deterioration of her relationship with her sister/former BFF...and when Lo asks her if Spencer was outright mean to her, she replies, "Oh, like openly and unabashedly." A dismayed Lauren shakes her head at that and remarks on how Spencer seems to drive away everyone who cares about Heidi.
Stephanie drops by Casa Pratt/Montag to break the news to Heidi and Spencer that Holly is now living with Lauren and Lo...and when a puzzled looking Heidi asks why Lauren would extend that kind of invitation to her sister, Stephanie chucklingly replies, "'Cause Holly was homeless. Who's going to say no to a homeless person?" Spencer grumbles that he wouldn't put it past Darlene (aka Stalker Mom) to have orchestrated the whole thing [despite the nonsensicalness of that theory], then declares it an act of karma that Lauren now has "the mooch of the century" living in her house. Heidi sadly wonders when or if she'll ever talk to her sister again and admonishes Spencer for having zero empathy 'bout that...and when he reacts by wholeheartedly agreeing with that second thing, she calls him a rude, insensitive ass and suggests that maybe he's been the problem all along. Well d'yuh.
"You are such a self-centered assbag."
"Tell me something the Hills producers don't already know and keep me around because of."
While out for dinner at Medusa, Justin gifts Audrina a pretty white shirt he witnessed her admiring in a boutique and mumbles, "I can be good when I wanna be." He further mumbles that she should know she's loved, adding, "It's all about growing up, living and learning" ... and Audrina reacts by beaming back at him happily.
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Whitney is entranced by her first Jay sighting
"Back To New York"
Original airdate: 11/9/2008
Episode summary: Heidi is glum about her unemployed status. Lauren and Whitney are summoned to New York for Fashion Week...where Whitney meets her future Australian beau, Jay.
Original airdate: 11/9/2008
Episode summary: Heidi is glum about her unemployed status. Lauren and Whitney are summoned to New York for Fashion Week...where Whitney meets her future Australian beau, Jay.
Recap: Kelly Cutrone calls the People's Revolution's L.A. office (from the New York office) to inform everyone that they booked more fashion shows than originally expected, and she therefore needs Whitney, Lauren, and the superfluous MTV camera crew to jet across the country asap to help out with all the added styling and model line-ups. After the conference call, Whitney tells Lauren that she and Alex have been in touch by phone and text, then gushes about how super excited she is to return to the Big Apple.
The next day in New York, Kelly is barking at her People's Revolution staff about how they should manage non-registrants who arrive at the shows and demand to get in. A few seconds later, Lauren and Whitney arrive, get snarled at by Kelly for not wearing black as is the law at People's Revolution, and are instructed to head over to Andrew Buckler's studio stat to help style the male models. Kelly tells Whitney that Alex will be walking in the show and that Lauren is likely going to see him in his underwear...and Whitney and Lauren gigglingly assure her they're fine with it [mostly 'cause - spoiler - Whitney is just not that into him and could give a fuck about who sees him nearly naked].
Lauren and Whitney rush over to Studio Buckler, where a bevy of muscular young men are in various stages of undress. Whitney greets Alex with a hello hug, and then she and Lauren meet Adam, a new model friend who will be somewhat integral to the first season of the Hills' spin-off show: The City.
Back in L.A., a mopey Heidi explains to Spencer that she's in such a glum mood 'cause she just got fired from a pretend job she loved - all because she acted like a drunken idiot in front of her boss's boss. Spencer unhelpfully retorts by mumbling that the XIV party needed an infusion of excitement, then suggests they go out tonight to get her mind off of her faux firing. Heidi mulls that over and says she might be up for a night out on the town - but in the meantime is off to update her resume...for what actual purpose, I can't imagine.
The next day in New York, Kelly is barking at her People's Revolution staff about how they should manage non-registrants who arrive at the shows and demand to get in. A few seconds later, Lauren and Whitney arrive, get snarled at by Kelly for not wearing black as is the law at People's Revolution, and are instructed to head over to Andrew Buckler's studio stat to help style the male models. Kelly tells Whitney that Alex will be walking in the show and that Lauren is likely going to see him in his underwear...and Whitney and Lauren gigglingly assure her they're fine with it [mostly 'cause - spoiler - Whitney is just not that into him and could give a fuck about who sees him nearly naked].
Lauren and Whitney rush over to Studio Buckler, where a bevy of muscular young men are in various stages of undress. Whitney greets Alex with a hello hug, and then she and Lauren meet Adam, a new model friend who will be somewhat integral to the first season of the Hills' spin-off show: The City.
Back in L.A., a mopey Heidi explains to Spencer that she's in such a glum mood 'cause she just got fired from a pretend job she loved - all because she acted like a drunken idiot in front of her boss's boss. Spencer unhelpfully retorts by mumbling that the XIV party needed an infusion of excitement, then suggests they go out tonight to get her mind off of her faux firing. Heidi mulls that over and says she might be up for a night out on the town - but in the meantime is off to update her resume...for what actual purpose, I can't imagine.
"In hindsight, I prolly shouldn't have gotten drunk and sassed my über-boss."
"Dunno...I thought that party was in desperate need of some inebriated energy."
Backstage at the Andrew Buckler show, Whitney tells Adam that she and Lauren are headed back to L.A. first thing in the morning...and he looks disappointed for a few seconds, then invites them to hang at his restaurant later, where his friend Jay and his band will be performing (squeal!). As Alex unhappily eavesdrops on the conversation, Kelly orders Whitney and Lauren to stop socializing and get the models in line for the show...and after the show wraps an hour or so later, Whitney covertly tells Lauren that Alex is nice - but that the dude's way too nervous for her liking.
Later, Lauren and Whitney arrive at Adam's restaurant (Il Bastardo), where a shaggy-haired, sweat-drenched Jay is performing with his band. As Whitney stares in smitten fascination at Jay, Alex arrives at the restaurant and makes a beeline over to where she's sitting. Whitney lamely tells him she doesn't want to abandon Lauren...so he agrees to awkwardly loiter across the room so that she can be totally unfettered for when Jay is done performing. A few seconds later, Jay wanders over and is introduced to Whitney and Lauren...and a few minutes later, when he's safely out of hearing range, Whitney and Lauren cackle over the Aussie's hotness while Alex repeatedly glares over, his facial expression a combination of confusion and sourpussish dismay.
Heidi and Spencer attend a Bolthouse launch party...and when Spencer sees Brent across the club, the producers egg him on to saunter over and force Brent into a one-on-one discussion about the tragic nature of Heidi's faux firing. Spencer tells Brent he feels soooo bad about Heidi getting sacked and was wondering if he wouldn't mind re-hiring her, and Brent just stares back at him incredulously and calls him out for causing problems everywhere he goes. He then says he'd rather speak directly to Heidi about reinstating her in her pretend job, and warns that he doesn't want to see him at his events ever again.
Whitney summons the courage to buy Jay a shot o' liquor...and then the two exchange flirty banter while an irked Alex stares over at them as though he truly has no clue that his next move should be to just quietly exit Il Bastardo so he can stop embarrassing himself. As Jay asks Whitney what she thinks about the two of them spending the rest of the evening together, Alex mumbles to one of his friends, "I'm really losing steam with this whole thing, you know?" Mmmmm...yep. We know.
Later, Lauren and Whitney arrive at Adam's restaurant (Il Bastardo), where a shaggy-haired, sweat-drenched Jay is performing with his band. As Whitney stares in smitten fascination at Jay, Alex arrives at the restaurant and makes a beeline over to where she's sitting. Whitney lamely tells him she doesn't want to abandon Lauren...so he agrees to awkwardly loiter across the room so that she can be totally unfettered for when Jay is done performing. A few seconds later, Jay wanders over and is introduced to Whitney and Lauren...and a few minutes later, when he's safely out of hearing range, Whitney and Lauren cackle over the Aussie's hotness while Alex repeatedly glares over, his facial expression a combination of confusion and sourpussish dismay.
Heidi and Spencer attend a Bolthouse launch party...and when Spencer sees Brent across the club, the producers egg him on to saunter over and force Brent into a one-on-one discussion about the tragic nature of Heidi's faux firing. Spencer tells Brent he feels soooo bad about Heidi getting sacked and was wondering if he wouldn't mind re-hiring her, and Brent just stares back at him incredulously and calls him out for causing problems everywhere he goes. He then says he'd rather speak directly to Heidi about reinstating her in her pretend job, and warns that he doesn't want to see him at his events ever again.
Whitney summons the courage to buy Jay a shot o' liquor...and then the two exchange flirty banter while an irked Alex stares over at them as though he truly has no clue that his next move should be to just quietly exit Il Bastardo so he can stop embarrassing himself. As Jay asks Whitney what she thinks about the two of them spending the rest of the evening together, Alex mumbles to one of his friends, "I'm really losing steam with this whole thing, you know?" Mmmmm...yep. We know.
"Are you spoken for?"
"Nope, I'm completely single and eager to mingle."
"All of my steam is lost."
Whitney gushes to Lauren about how adorable Jay is, and that despite her general demureness when it comes to guys, she really really wants to spend the rest of the evening basking in his adorableness. Lauren urges her to go for it, not least 'cause they're only here for one night...and across the room, Alex continues to glare haplessly in her direction.
Heidi apologizes to Brent for being subjected to a confrontation with Spencer, and Brent responds by getting his general dislike of Spencer off of his chest by replying, "Your boyfriend's a nightmare. What's wrong with him?" LOL. He further chides Heidi for letting scumbags like that have so much influence over her life...to which Heidi weakly insists that Spencer isn't a bad person, then expresses deep regret about guzzling so much tequila at a work-related event that she got fired for public drunkenness, and begs for another chance to work at Bolthouse. Brent pretends to chew on that possibility for a few seconds, and reluctantly agrees to talk to Sam about it.
Back at Il Bastardo, Alex musters the courage to approach Whitney to tell her he'll be waiting at a nearby table whenever she has a minute [at never o'clock] ... and when Jay asks Whitney what that was all about, she grimaces and says that basically Alex is just some rando she barely went out with once who can't seem to take a damn hint. Jay suggests they leave right now and urges her to not give a shit about what Alex thinks. Whitney chucklingly leaves the restaurant with Jay...and the two walk down the street arm in arm while Alex stares pissily into space when he's informed by one of his friends that his gal just exited Il Bastardo with the charismatic Aussie.
Bastarda!
Heidi apologizes to Brent for being subjected to a confrontation with Spencer, and Brent responds by getting his general dislike of Spencer off of his chest by replying, "Your boyfriend's a nightmare. What's wrong with him?" LOL. He further chides Heidi for letting scumbags like that have so much influence over her life...to which Heidi weakly insists that Spencer isn't a bad person, then expresses deep regret about guzzling so much tequila at a work-related event that she got fired for public drunkenness, and begs for another chance to work at Bolthouse. Brent pretends to chew on that possibility for a few seconds, and reluctantly agrees to talk to Sam about it.
Back at Il Bastardo, Alex musters the courage to approach Whitney to tell her he'll be waiting at a nearby table whenever she has a minute [at never o'clock] ... and when Jay asks Whitney what that was all about, she grimaces and says that basically Alex is just some rando she barely went out with once who can't seem to take a damn hint. Jay suggests they leave right now and urges her to not give a shit about what Alex thinks. Whitney chucklingly leaves the restaurant with Jay...and the two walk down the street arm in arm while Alex stares pissily into space when he's informed by one of his friends that his gal just exited Il Bastardo with the charismatic Aussie.
Bastarda!
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Kimberly easily cracks under questioning
"It's Her Move"
Original airdate: 11/2/2008
Episode summary: Heidi is fired from Bolthouse after she boozes it up at a work-related event. Audrina purchases a home of her own and moves out of the pool house.
Original airdate: 11/2/2008
Episode summary: Heidi is fired from Bolthouse after she boozes it up at a work-related event. Audrina purchases a home of her own and moves out of the pool house.
Recap: Audrina breaks the news to Lauren that she just purchased a home and is going to be moving out of the pool house this weekend. As Lauren processes this unexpected development, Audrina gabbles about how excited she is about her new pad, and is keeping her fingers crossed that Justin will want to come over a lot so that they can spend lots and lots of time together.
At Club XIV, Heidi and Kimberly meet with Sam and Brent to discuss the club's upcoming opening. When Sam finds out that Heidi is going to be the pretend party coordinator while the MTV cameras are rolling, he laughingly asks her if she's actually going to be there, snidely adding, "I remember last time" - a fun shout-out to Heidi's decision to abruptly bail on Bolthouse's pretend business meetings in Vegas during the Season 3 finale. While sauntering around the club, Heidi tells Kimberly she'd really like to invite Spencer, Stephanie, and Audrina to the opening party...and when Kimberly winces, mumbles "I dunno", and warns that it's going to be a night of "huge high stress" for Brent and Sam, Heidi ignores her completely and says she doesn't see the harm in adding some additional Hills peeps to the guest list.
At People's Revolution, meanwhile, Lauren tells Whitney that Audrina is planning to move out, and that she hopes she's doing it for the right reasons, meaning not having the expectation that she'll be cohabitating there with Justin. Whitney reacts to the news by looking as dismayingly surprised as she can muster, then makes a dramatic wince-y face.
While out for drinks, Audrina tells Justin about her cute new house, and that she can't wait to show it to him. When the producers prompt him to ask her what else is on her mind, she comes right out and asks him if he wants to move in with her...and after an awkward pause, he contorts his face into a yeech expression and mumbles, "Let it happen, and see what happens." Ouch.
At Club XIV, Heidi and Kimberly meet with Sam and Brent to discuss the club's upcoming opening. When Sam finds out that Heidi is going to be the pretend party coordinator while the MTV cameras are rolling, he laughingly asks her if she's actually going to be there, snidely adding, "I remember last time" - a fun shout-out to Heidi's decision to abruptly bail on Bolthouse's pretend business meetings in Vegas during the Season 3 finale. While sauntering around the club, Heidi tells Kimberly she'd really like to invite Spencer, Stephanie, and Audrina to the opening party...and when Kimberly winces, mumbles "I dunno", and warns that it's going to be a night of "huge high stress" for Brent and Sam, Heidi ignores her completely and says she doesn't see the harm in adding some additional Hills peeps to the guest list.
At People's Revolution, meanwhile, Lauren tells Whitney that Audrina is planning to move out, and that she hopes she's doing it for the right reasons, meaning not having the expectation that she'll be cohabitating there with Justin. Whitney reacts to the news by looking as dismayingly surprised as she can muster, then makes a dramatic wince-y face.
While out for drinks, Audrina tells Justin about her cute new house, and that she can't wait to show it to him. When the producers prompt him to ask her what else is on her mind, she comes right out and asks him if he wants to move in with her...and after an awkward pause, he contorts his face into a yeech expression and mumbles, "Let it happen, and see what happens." Ouch.
"I really want you to move in with me."
"And I'd prefer to passively wait and see if it happens by some kind of osmosis."
Audrina gives her sister Casey a tour of her new house and excitedly shares that she wants to decorate it with candles and white flowy things that give off a romantic vibe...and adds that she hopes Justin will be over a lot so they can "rekindle that flame again". Casey looks a tad alarmed by that admission and dismayingly asks, "You bought this for Audrina, right? Not so Audrina and Justin could..." and lets her voice trail off as Audrina retorts with a mute shrug. Oh dear.
Lo tells Lauren she feels bad that roommating with Audrina didn't turn out the way they'd all hoped - then chuckles about Justin and the Justin-Bobby nickname she's responsible for cementing in viewers' brains back in Season 3's 'Big Girls Don't Cry' episode. Lauren pronounces that she's determined to remain good friends with Audrina, despite her abrupt change of address.
XIV opening! Heidi and Kimberly agree that the event is running smoothly - just as the Hills peeps arrive (Spencer, Stephanie, Audrina, Justin and Casey). The peeps toast Audrina and her new house...and when Spencer asks Justin if he plan to move in, he reacts by staring mutely into space. An inebriated Heidi cackles, "I'm sooooo wasted!" - just as the camera pans over to an agitated Sam, who wanders over to Heidi and snarlingly asks, "Are we still working here tonight?" Heidi somehow refrains from reminding him that she's only been pretending to work at Bolthouse, pretty much from the get go, and sassily counters, "Are you?", and Sam does his best to contort his face into a peeved expression as he brusquely orders her and Kimberly to get back to work.
Lo tells Lauren she feels bad that roommating with Audrina didn't turn out the way they'd all hoped - then chuckles about Justin and the Justin-Bobby nickname she's responsible for cementing in viewers' brains back in Season 3's 'Big Girls Don't Cry' episode. Lauren pronounces that she's determined to remain good friends with Audrina, despite her abrupt change of address.
XIV opening! Heidi and Kimberly agree that the event is running smoothly - just as the Hills peeps arrive (Spencer, Stephanie, Audrina, Justin and Casey). The peeps toast Audrina and her new house...and when Spencer asks Justin if he plan to move in, he reacts by staring mutely into space. An inebriated Heidi cackles, "I'm sooooo wasted!" - just as the camera pans over to an agitated Sam, who wanders over to Heidi and snarlingly asks, "Are we still working here tonight?" Heidi somehow refrains from reminding him that she's only been pretending to work at Bolthouse, pretty much from the get go, and sassily counters, "Are you?", and Sam does his best to contort his face into a peeved expression as he brusquely orders her and Kimberly to get back to work.
"Isn't there something work-related you should be doing?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
The next morning at FIDM, Lauren tells Stephanie about Audrina's plans to move out, and Stephanie says she knows all about it 'cause she was just hanging with Audrina at a Bolthouse party last night. When she remarks that Heidi and Spencer were also in attendance, Lauren remarks that she doesn't think Audrina actually likes Spencer. Stephanie breezily replies that Spencer really likes Justin, then boldly declares, "So that might be the new crew", prompting Lauren to stare back at her in perplexed bewilderment at the notion of a new Hills crew assembling itself without her knowledge and/or general approval.
Over at Bolthouse, Brent summons Kimberly to his office so he can grill her about whether or not she and Heidi were boozing it up at XIV last night. Kimberly nervously assures him that she remained 100% sober out of respect for him...so then Brent pretends that Sam is super pissed off about Heidi being drunk during the opening. He asks Kimberly to send in Heidi, who apologizes for hitting the tequila harder than she prolly should have, and explains that she assumed once the party was running smoothly, it wouldn't be a big deal to get completely hammered. Brent makes it clear it is a big deal, and that it also wasn't OK to invite Spencer et. al. He lays it on thick about how disappointed in her he is, then barks, "Get your bag, get your stuff. I'm firing you." Heidi pretends to look shell-shocked at losing her pretend job and apologizes for her drunken misdeeds before sauntering back to her cubicle, retrieving her purse, and making a break for the nearest exit.
Over at Bolthouse, Brent summons Kimberly to his office so he can grill her about whether or not she and Heidi were boozing it up at XIV last night. Kimberly nervously assures him that she remained 100% sober out of respect for him...so then Brent pretends that Sam is super pissed off about Heidi being drunk during the opening. He asks Kimberly to send in Heidi, who apologizes for hitting the tequila harder than she prolly should have, and explains that she assumed once the party was running smoothly, it wouldn't be a big deal to get completely hammered. Brent makes it clear it is a big deal, and that it also wasn't OK to invite Spencer et. al. He lays it on thick about how disappointed in her he is, then barks, "Get your bag, get your stuff. I'm firing you." Heidi pretends to look shell-shocked at losing her pretend job and apologizes for her drunken misdeeds before sauntering back to her cubicle, retrieving her purse, and making a break for the nearest exit.
"I'm firing you from your pretend job."
"I'm pretend sad."
At the pool house, Audrina is packing up the remainder of her stuff in boxes while the movers transport her furniture into their truck. Lauren drops by to sadly remark that this move is happening soooo fast, and Audrina shows her a framed photo of herself and Justin and says she really really wants to get him to help her unpack in her new place. Lauren disinterestedly mumbles, "Ya gotta" ... and then the two hug goodbye and wank each other about how they've each been each other's person for the last two years. In the next scene, Lo also hugs Audrina goodbye and wishes her well...and after Audrina heads off to her car, Lauren admits to Lo that she's a tad sad that their friend has decided to move on.
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Cameron is less than thrilled to be at the center of the latest Hills subplot
"I Want You to Be With Me"
Original airdate: 10/26/2008
Episode summary: Stephanie is dismayed when Cameron fails to confront Brody about making her cry. Justin tells Audrina he's willing to attempt a romantic relationship.
Original airdate: 10/26/2008
Episode summary: Stephanie is dismayed when Cameron fails to confront Brody about making her cry. Justin tells Audrina he's willing to attempt a romantic relationship.
Recap: Chiara informs Audrina that later in the episode they're going to be assigned the task of sitting in a music studio with Brandy, and Audrina grins happily and coos about how much she loooooves being in a studio and forgetting about the rest of the world. She then complains about how relentlessly Justin bugged her during much of last episode's Cabo vacay, adding how annoying it that whenever she shows serious interest in another guy, Justin restarts his pursuit of her, only to abruptly drop her soon after. She says she'd really like to get out of this destructive habit [though, not really] - and Chiara applauds her for "starting to figure things out".
Lauren and Stephanie are at a fabric store to pick up samples for an upcoming FIDM assignment. Lauren tells Stephanie she didn't have that great of a time in Cabo, not least 'cause Doug flew in a group of hotties he was creepily pimping out for the purpose of entertaining Brody on his birthday. Stephanie's all, "Gross", then changes the subject to her new boyfriend, and Lauren invites her to bring the dud to Crown Bar tomorrow night so he can get introduced to and party with the Hills posse. Stephanie warns that if Brody shows up, she fully expects Cameron to defend her honour by making him answer for the time he made her cry during the Vegas episode. Lauren's like, "Er, OK whatevs" and insists that they'll have a great time at the club, regardless of whether or not Cameron follows through with [spoiler] what ends up being an empty promise.
While hanging by the pool, Lauren tells Brody she invited Stephanie to join them at Crown Bar, adding that Stephanie will be bringing along her new boyfriend. Brody groans at the prospect of having to socialize with the loon and reminds Lauren about the shady behavior she demonstrated when she publicly dined out with Doug. Lauren says she really just needs him to be civil, then warns that Cameron intends to give him the what for for his treatment of Stephanie in Vegas - but Brody dismissively says he relishes the idea of Cameron confronting him and that he'd loooove to counter-punch by telling him some fucked up shit about Stephanie he prolly has no idea about. Lauren chirps, "Lighten up!" - not least 'cause she seems wholly disinterested in being a party to any kind of Cameron-Brody fuelled drama - and shoves him into the pool before fleeing to the safety of her house.
Lauren and Stephanie are at a fabric store to pick up samples for an upcoming FIDM assignment. Lauren tells Stephanie she didn't have that great of a time in Cabo, not least 'cause Doug flew in a group of hotties he was creepily pimping out for the purpose of entertaining Brody on his birthday. Stephanie's all, "Gross", then changes the subject to her new boyfriend, and Lauren invites her to bring the dud to Crown Bar tomorrow night so he can get introduced to and party with the Hills posse. Stephanie warns that if Brody shows up, she fully expects Cameron to defend her honour by making him answer for the time he made her cry during the Vegas episode. Lauren's like, "Er, OK whatevs" and insists that they'll have a great time at the club, regardless of whether or not Cameron follows through with [spoiler] what ends up being an empty promise.
While hanging by the pool, Lauren tells Brody she invited Stephanie to join them at Crown Bar, adding that Stephanie will be bringing along her new boyfriend. Brody groans at the prospect of having to socialize with the loon and reminds Lauren about the shady behavior she demonstrated when she publicly dined out with Doug. Lauren says she really just needs him to be civil, then warns that Cameron intends to give him the what for for his treatment of Stephanie in Vegas - but Brody dismissively says he relishes the idea of Cameron confronting him and that he'd loooove to counter-punch by telling him some fucked up shit about Stephanie he prolly has no idea about. Lauren chirps, "Lighten up!" - not least 'cause she seems wholly disinterested in being a party to any kind of Cameron-Brody fuelled drama - and shoves him into the pool before fleeing to the safety of her house.
"I need you to be civil to Stephanie."
"I'd much prefer to trash-talk her to her new boyfriend."
While dining out at Kitchen Twenty Four, Audrina tells Corey about her Cabo trip...and when he looks peeved and asks if Justin was there, she confirms he was, but insists that it was less a romantic getaway than it was a guys' trip. She then mumbles that she'd rather not talk about Justin, and he irritably grunts, "Me either."
At Crown Bar, Cameron puffs out his little chest and tells Stephanie he's definitely going to take Brody aside and open a big can of whoop-ass on him for making her cry. A few seconds later, Lauren and Lo arrive and get introduced to Cameron...and when Lauren gushes about what a cute couple he and Stephanie make [though, meh], he sourly thanks her. He then doubles down on his intention to have a mano-a-mano chat with Brody - just as Brody arrives and seats himself beside Lauren. Cameron seems to react to his presence by becoming strangely inert...and after the camera pans over the rest of the posse to capture their expressions of nervous anticipation, Stephanie reminds Cameron about his pledge to confront Brody. As the editing makes it look as though Cameron visibly shrinks from wanting to make any kind of move, Brody amusedly tells Lauren, "I thought homie wanted to say something to me."
Over at Darkchild Studios, Audrina and Chiara are chillin' with Brandy while she browses through a stack of photos in order to choose the best shot for her new album cover. When she's called away to record some music, Audrina tells Chiara that after going out with Corey a few more times, she's come to the realization, "My heart's not there." She then checks her phone and sees that Justin has just texted to let her know he's waiting in front of the studio - 'cause naturally she told the dumb lug where he could find her. An unimpressed Chiara mutters, "Interesting" as Audrina rushes outside to greet him.
A morose Justin tells Audrina he's been thinking a lot about Cabo, and Audrina shares that she's been trying to convince herself she likes a certain tatted up Aussie - when the same shitty guy [she's been tediously clinging to for years now] keeps invading her thoughts. She calls him out for making zero effort to be in a relationship with her, and he contritely says he's well aware of that...and mumbles some other stuff I couldn't quite decipher before he comes right out and says, "I want you to be with me." Audrina responds by happily nodding before the two embrace. &^%$#!!
At Crown Bar, Cameron puffs out his little chest and tells Stephanie he's definitely going to take Brody aside and open a big can of whoop-ass on him for making her cry. A few seconds later, Lauren and Lo arrive and get introduced to Cameron...and when Lauren gushes about what a cute couple he and Stephanie make [though, meh], he sourly thanks her. He then doubles down on his intention to have a mano-a-mano chat with Brody - just as Brody arrives and seats himself beside Lauren. Cameron seems to react to his presence by becoming strangely inert...and after the camera pans over the rest of the posse to capture their expressions of nervous anticipation, Stephanie reminds Cameron about his pledge to confront Brody. As the editing makes it look as though Cameron visibly shrinks from wanting to make any kind of move, Brody amusedly tells Lauren, "I thought homie wanted to say something to me."
Over at Darkchild Studios, Audrina and Chiara are chillin' with Brandy while she browses through a stack of photos in order to choose the best shot for her new album cover. When she's called away to record some music, Audrina tells Chiara that after going out with Corey a few more times, she's come to the realization, "My heart's not there." She then checks her phone and sees that Justin has just texted to let her know he's waiting in front of the studio - 'cause naturally she told the dumb lug where he could find her. An unimpressed Chiara mutters, "Interesting" as Audrina rushes outside to greet him.
A morose Justin tells Audrina he's been thinking a lot about Cabo, and Audrina shares that she's been trying to convince herself she likes a certain tatted up Aussie - when the same shitty guy [she's been tediously clinging to for years now] keeps invading her thoughts. She calls him out for making zero effort to be in a relationship with her, and he contritely says he's well aware of that...and mumbles some other stuff I couldn't quite decipher before he comes right out and says, "I want you to be with me." Audrina responds by happily nodding before the two embrace. &^%$#!!
"Despite your objectionable behavior in every episode, I can't seem to quit you."
"It boggles even my mind."
While doing pretend work at Epic Records, Audrina tells Chiara that Justin said all the right things, and that she's choosing to naively believe his promises about not jerking her around no 'mo...and an exasperated Chiara implores her to recall all the times she's wanted to cut ties with the 'waxing nonsensical poetic' of a turd, and that she should remind herself of the destructive pattern they just discussed at the beginning of this very episode. Audrina explains that she just doesn't have the same connection to any other guy, and Chiara dismayingly concedes, "You gotta do what you gotta do" while hoping like hell she's not falling into the same old trap she's been falling into ever since the slovenly nitwit made his unimpressive Hills debut in Season 3. She makes it clear she's Team Corey and wonders aloud how and why Audrina is going to dump the courteous suitor.
Stephanie meets up with Heidi and Spencer for lunch at Waffle and says that Cameron just didn't wanna subject himself to another inquisition in front of the MTV camera crew. Shen then tells them she brought Cameron to Crown Bar to meet the posse...and when Spencer correctly guesses that he totally chickened out when it came time to confront Brody, she moans about how badly she wants to break up with the dullard every time the three of them discuss the chemistry-free relationship.
While dining out, Corey gives Audrina a koala bear souvenir and says he'd really love it if she came to Australia with him so they could hang out more. Audrina responds by dropping the bomb that things between them aren't really working out and gives him an 'it's not you it's me' style brush-off before informing him that she's decided to go crawling back to Justin. Corey stares back at her sadly, says he respects her decision, and fights back tears as he promises to not get emotional...and in the next scene, the two exit the restaurant and hug goodbye (for now, anyway).
Stephanie meets up with Heidi and Spencer for lunch at Waffle and says that Cameron just didn't wanna subject himself to another inquisition in front of the MTV camera crew. Shen then tells them she brought Cameron to Crown Bar to meet the posse...and when Spencer correctly guesses that he totally chickened out when it came time to confront Brody, she moans about how badly she wants to break up with the dullard every time the three of them discuss the chemistry-free relationship.
While dining out, Corey gives Audrina a koala bear souvenir and says he'd really love it if she came to Australia with him so they could hang out more. Audrina responds by dropping the bomb that things between them aren't really working out and gives him an 'it's not you it's me' style brush-off before informing him that she's decided to go crawling back to Justin. Corey stares back at her sadly, says he respects her decision, and fights back tears as he promises to not get emotional...and in the next scene, the two exit the restaurant and hug goodbye (for now, anyway).
"I want you to come to Australia with me."
"I assume you didn't get the memo that I'm dumping you."
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Lauren remains incredulous about the inexplicable hold Justin continues to have over Audrina
"You'll Never Have This"
Original airdate: 10/19/2008
Episode summary: While in Cabo to celebrate Brody's birthday, tension brews between Audrina and Justin over her budding romance with Corey. Stephanie introduces her new boyfriend to Spencer and Heidi.
Original airdate: 10/19/2008
Episode summary: While in Cabo to celebrate Brody's birthday, tension brews between Audrina and Justin over her budding romance with Corey. Stephanie introduces her new boyfriend to Spencer and Heidi.
Recap: The Hills posse is aboard a private plane, en route to Cabo San Lucas to celebrate Brody's birthday. Frankie asks Audrina whassup with her and Justin (who's sitting on the other end of the plane), so she tells him they're not together 'cause she's newly re-miffed about him dating other girls...and also explains that she didn't bring Corey along 'cause he's on tour [BMXing, I assume]. Lauren chimes in and says they're doing their best to look forward to this Mexican vacay, then wryly chuckles about how Audrina brought her emotional baggage aboard the plane. Meow...and haha!
After landing in Mexico, the posse arrives at The Villa, aka the luxurious house they'll be staying in for the remainder of this episode. Audrina tells Lauren that no way in hell is she sharing a room with Justin, then bitterly mutters, "I'm sure he'll have a girl in here tonight." Lauren, who could probably not give a rat's ass one way or another, says that she'll be occupying one of the downstairs bedrooms.
Lauren and Audrina change into their swimsuits and frolic in the ocean, while the menfolk chillax in the swimming pool and discuss the impossible-to-not-notice rift [that for some reason developed off-camera] between Justin and Audrina. When Frankie brings up Corey being Audrina's new fella, Justin reacts by grumbling about how she's always giving him shit for hooking up with random girls instead of wanting to be exclusive with her...and Brody's all, "Yeah!", while Doug creepishly pronounces, "All girls are shady."
Back in Los Angeles, Heidi and Stephanie are shopping for cosmetics when Stephanie breaks the exciting news that she has a boyfriend, then glumly shares that the rest of the Hills posse is in Cabo for Brody's birthday. Heidi asks her why she didn't go, so she cites her problems with Brody and Doug, along with the fact that she and Lauren aren't as tight as they used to be. Heidi chews on that satisfyingly fascinating tidbit for a few seconds, then suggests to Stephanie that she and Cameron have a double date dinner with her and Spencer. Stephanie looks less than enthused by that prospect and says she's skeered at the 100% chance that Spencer is going to blurt out something inappropriate that insults Cameron. Heidi breezily retorts that it doesn't matter who gets along with who, but rather what combination of people at a restaurant might generate the most explosive interactions while the MTV camera crew films this reality TV show.
Back in Cabo, the posse is eating a scrumptious looking dinner when a sour-faced Justin asks Audrina about the white flower scrunchie thing in her hair. She smugly tells him that Corey gave it to her...so then Justin stares at her curiously and comments about how she rolled her suitcase out of the bedroom he assumed they'd be sharing. She replies that she figured he'd want his own room, then snarkishly reminds him that he's the one who doesn't want to be exclusive. Justin groans, "Ooooh, dude" [$#@& it grates on my last nerve whenever he calls her dude], so she asks, "What am I to think?" - I guess about him tagging along to Cabo with the posse. He mumblingly explains that the producers locked in his filming schedule before "all of this stuff went down" ... and when she unconvincingly tells him she's totes cool with the situation, he mouths to Doug 'I'm free! Hall pass!', even though he doesn't seem to comprehend that carrying on about a "hall pass" would only make sense if he were in a committed relationship with Audrina.
After landing in Mexico, the posse arrives at The Villa, aka the luxurious house they'll be staying in for the remainder of this episode. Audrina tells Lauren that no way in hell is she sharing a room with Justin, then bitterly mutters, "I'm sure he'll have a girl in here tonight." Lauren, who could probably not give a rat's ass one way or another, says that she'll be occupying one of the downstairs bedrooms.
Lauren and Audrina change into their swimsuits and frolic in the ocean, while the menfolk chillax in the swimming pool and discuss the impossible-to-not-notice rift [that for some reason developed off-camera] between Justin and Audrina. When Frankie brings up Corey being Audrina's new fella, Justin reacts by grumbling about how she's always giving him shit for hooking up with random girls instead of wanting to be exclusive with her...and Brody's all, "Yeah!", while Doug creepishly pronounces, "All girls are shady."
Back in Los Angeles, Heidi and Stephanie are shopping for cosmetics when Stephanie breaks the exciting news that she has a boyfriend, then glumly shares that the rest of the Hills posse is in Cabo for Brody's birthday. Heidi asks her why she didn't go, so she cites her problems with Brody and Doug, along with the fact that she and Lauren aren't as tight as they used to be. Heidi chews on that satisfyingly fascinating tidbit for a few seconds, then suggests to Stephanie that she and Cameron have a double date dinner with her and Spencer. Stephanie looks less than enthused by that prospect and says she's skeered at the 100% chance that Spencer is going to blurt out something inappropriate that insults Cameron. Heidi breezily retorts that it doesn't matter who gets along with who, but rather what combination of people at a restaurant might generate the most explosive interactions while the MTV camera crew films this reality TV show.
Back in Cabo, the posse is eating a scrumptious looking dinner when a sour-faced Justin asks Audrina about the white flower scrunchie thing in her hair. She smugly tells him that Corey gave it to her...so then Justin stares at her curiously and comments about how she rolled her suitcase out of the bedroom he assumed they'd be sharing. She replies that she figured he'd want his own room, then snarkishly reminds him that he's the one who doesn't want to be exclusive. Justin groans, "Ooooh, dude" [$#@& it grates on my last nerve whenever he calls her dude], so she asks, "What am I to think?" - I guess about him tagging along to Cabo with the posse. He mumblingly explains that the producers locked in his filming schedule before "all of this stuff went down" ... and when she unconvincingly tells him she's totes cool with the situation, he mouths to Doug 'I'm free! Hall pass!', even though he doesn't seem to comprehend that carrying on about a "hall pass" would only make sense if he were in a committed relationship with Audrina.
"I will continue to act like a buffoonish child."
"And I will somehow continue to find your buffoonery intoxicating."
Frankie raises a glass and toasts Brody, aka 'the best friend a person can have'. Doug then reveals that he has a special surprise involving "bringing the party here", and a suspicious looking Lauren asks, "Did you invite sleazies?" Doug gives the signal, and a few seconds later the menfolk are treated to a parade of beautiful, handpicked-by-MTV young women. Lauren dryly tells Brody he has pretty good odds tonight, and he responds with a light chuckle [despite how creepy as fuck I found this scene to watch, more than fifteen years later].
While enjoying the evening by the ocean, Lauren confirms for Audrina that it's impossible to not notice the tension between her and Justin, then urges her - for the love of all that is holy - to completely let go of Justin and make it clear to the idiot slob that she's with Corey now. Audrina weakly insists that she is letting go - but then complains, "He's all about mind games." Lauren counters that half-hearted nonsense by advising, "Well, shut it off. You can't play by yourself" ... and a big amen to that.
Over at the dinner table, Justin mumblingly muses that Audrina hooking up with a new guy makes this the ideal weekend for him to have a hall pass, then whines, "I didn't start it!" Across the beach, Lauren suggests to Audrina that they make friends with the sleazies...and then everyone leaps into the pool so they can canoodle, frolic, and sexily splash about.
Heidi and Spencer are seated at a table in Pane E Vino, waiting for Stephanie and Cameron. When the two finally arrive, forty minutes late, Spencer calls them out for keeping him and Heidi waiting...and when his/Heidi's food arrives ['cause they went ahead and ordered, LOL], he toasts to "my sister and her first boyfriend". LOL. When Stephanie chides him for needlessly insulting her, he points out that he's never actually dined out with anyone she's dated before. He then changes the subject and cackles about how he just kicked Holly out of the apartment, and that "it felt real good" to rid himself of the biggest mooch on the planet. Heidi gently admonishes Spencer for disrespecting her family member, then clarifies that she was the one who asked Holly to leave after he gave her an ultimatum [that would have been totes hilarious if she'd called his bluff on]. Cameron, who really doesn't seem like an MTV-ready guest star, just stares back at the two of them blankly and stiffly says that one reason he digs Stephanie so much is 'cause she makes him laugh, to which Spencer sarcastically rejoins, "She makes me laugh a lot too." Heidi asks Cameron if he's met anyone from the Hills posse, so Cameron says he knows Brody and plans to one day confront him about making Stephanie cry. He then boldly asks Spencer why he's no longer friends with Brody, so Spencer explains that he can't seem to let go of the fact that Brody likes hanging out with his archenemy, then hastily changes the subject by asking Cameron what he thinks about Doug and his/Stephanie's recent candle-lit dinners. As Cameron's all, "Wuh? Doug? Candle light?", Stephanie irritably insists that she never dated Doug, and chides her brother for so sassily bringing him up.
While enjoying the evening by the ocean, Lauren confirms for Audrina that it's impossible to not notice the tension between her and Justin, then urges her - for the love of all that is holy - to completely let go of Justin and make it clear to the idiot slob that she's with Corey now. Audrina weakly insists that she is letting go - but then complains, "He's all about mind games." Lauren counters that half-hearted nonsense by advising, "Well, shut it off. You can't play by yourself" ... and a big amen to that.
Over at the dinner table, Justin mumblingly muses that Audrina hooking up with a new guy makes this the ideal weekend for him to have a hall pass, then whines, "I didn't start it!" Across the beach, Lauren suggests to Audrina that they make friends with the sleazies...and then everyone leaps into the pool so they can canoodle, frolic, and sexily splash about.
Heidi and Spencer are seated at a table in Pane E Vino, waiting for Stephanie and Cameron. When the two finally arrive, forty minutes late, Spencer calls them out for keeping him and Heidi waiting...and when his/Heidi's food arrives ['cause they went ahead and ordered, LOL], he toasts to "my sister and her first boyfriend". LOL. When Stephanie chides him for needlessly insulting her, he points out that he's never actually dined out with anyone she's dated before. He then changes the subject and cackles about how he just kicked Holly out of the apartment, and that "it felt real good" to rid himself of the biggest mooch on the planet. Heidi gently admonishes Spencer for disrespecting her family member, then clarifies that she was the one who asked Holly to leave after he gave her an ultimatum [that would have been totes hilarious if she'd called his bluff on]. Cameron, who really doesn't seem like an MTV-ready guest star, just stares back at the two of them blankly and stiffly says that one reason he digs Stephanie so much is 'cause she makes him laugh, to which Spencer sarcastically rejoins, "She makes me laugh a lot too." Heidi asks Cameron if he's met anyone from the Hills posse, so Cameron says he knows Brody and plans to one day confront him about making Stephanie cry. He then boldly asks Spencer why he's no longer friends with Brody, so Spencer explains that he can't seem to let go of the fact that Brody likes hanging out with his archenemy, then hastily changes the subject by asking Cameron what he thinks about Doug and his/Stephanie's recent candle-lit dinners. As Cameron's all, "Wuh? Doug? Candle light?", Stephanie irritably insists that she never dated Doug, and chides her brother for so sassily bringing him up.
"Why aren't you and Brody friends anymore?"
"I refer you to Season 3's Rolling With the Enemy episode."
Audrina notices that Justin is wearing her white flower scrunchie thing on his wrist and demands that he give it back - but he childishly refuses and snidely retorts, "Tell your boy I said hello." Audrina declares, "I'm done!" [as she's done several hundred times in past episodes] and storms off, leaving Justin grinning after her like the obnoxious fuckbag he is.
The next morning, Audrina finds Justin by the refreshment bar, and the two bicker back and forth about his nonsensical hall pass, the audacity of her getting a new boyfriend, his refusal to be exclusive with anyone...blah blah. She tells him that Corey treats her well and that she really likes him, so Justin holds up his wrist that's still adorned with the white flower scrunchie thing and taunts, "You'll never have this again." Audrina reacts by muttering, "Let me know when you grow up" and storming off yet again.
The next morning, Audrina finds Justin by the refreshment bar, and the two bicker back and forth about his nonsensical hall pass, the audacity of her getting a new boyfriend, his refusal to be exclusive with anyone...blah blah. She tells him that Corey treats her well and that she really likes him, so Justin holds up his wrist that's still adorned with the white flower scrunchie thing and taunts, "You'll never have this again." Audrina reacts by muttering, "Let me know when you grow up" and storming off yet again.
"I continue to find your buffoonery intoxicating."
"I will take that as encouragement to continue to act like a buffoonish child."
Stephanie meets up with Spencer, who's getting his daily exercise by jogging up and down an outdoor flight of stairs. She calls him out for talking about Doug in front of Cameron, and Spencer responds by grumbling about how she and Cameron were forty minutes late to dinner (which he paid for), and for generally not being appreciative enough that he's still willing to talk to her. When Stephanie beseeches him to be nicer to her, he responds with the question, "Why don't you start being loyal to your family?", then continues his stairs workout.
Back in Cabo, Audrina tells Lauren it's soooo ridiculous that Justin thinks he can make her feel bad for dating Corey, and Lauren concurs and says she should focus on what's right for her and what makes her happy. She then urges, begs, implores Audrina to not engage with this petty nonsense with Justin anymore and cleverly points out that it's not fair to Corey...and when Audrina argues that Justin continues to make things difficult, an exasperated Lauren blurts out, "Why do you want that in your life?!" Audrina flaccidly says she has stopped engaging in this mind fuckery - but Lauren points out that, on the contrary, she hasn't been able to shut up about the dipshit during most of this Cabo trip. She reminds Audrina that Justin is clearly not willing to be a normal boyfriend and again pleads with her to permanently cut him loose and thereby not allow him to have such an inexplicable hold on her...and Audrina stares vacantly into space as she ponders the unlikeliness of that course of action.
Back in Cabo, Audrina tells Lauren it's soooo ridiculous that Justin thinks he can make her feel bad for dating Corey, and Lauren concurs and says she should focus on what's right for her and what makes her happy. She then urges, begs, implores Audrina to not engage with this petty nonsense with Justin anymore and cleverly points out that it's not fair to Corey...and when Audrina argues that Justin continues to make things difficult, an exasperated Lauren blurts out, "Why do you want that in your life?!" Audrina flaccidly says she has stopped engaging in this mind fuckery - but Lauren points out that, on the contrary, she hasn't been able to shut up about the dipshit during most of this Cabo trip. She reminds Audrina that Justin is clearly not willing to be a normal boyfriend and again pleads with her to permanently cut him loose and thereby not allow him to have such an inexplicable hold on her...and Audrina stares vacantly into space as she ponders the unlikeliness of that course of action.
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"I'm very invested in not hurting Justin's feelings whenever he calls to ask whassup."
"Who To Choose?"
Original airdate: 10/12/2008
Episode summary: Spencer gives Heidi an ultimatum: kick Holly out of the apartment or he's moving out. Audrina resumes dating Corey the Australian. The Hills posse heads to Malibu for a swanky pool party.
Original airdate: 10/12/2008
Episode summary: Spencer gives Heidi an ultimatum: kick Holly out of the apartment or he's moving out. Audrina resumes dating Corey the Australian. The Hills posse heads to Malibu for a swanky pool party.
Recap: Audrina dishes to Lauren about her latest (re-purposed) squeeze, Corey the Australian, last seen in Season 3's Once a Player episode. She gushes about how much she likes likes him, and that she hasn't told Justin about him 'cause he always makes her feel guilty for going on dates with other guys - despite the fact that he regularly carries on with God knows how many other women. She calls Justin "a weird one", and Lauren somehow suppresses the urge to say that that just might be the biggest understatement in the history of Hills understatements.
Spencer has summoned Stephanie to meet up with him at Karma coffeehouse to grumble about how much he haaaaates Holly and Darlene. He adds that he's still miffed about how Darlene called him manipulative and controlling and then complained that Heidi doesn't tell her any personal stuff anymore. Spencer mumbles, "Settle down, stalker mom" ... then calls Holly "the mooch of the century", 'cause all she does is lounge atop the couch and watch TV, which is in direct conflict with his desire to spend all day lounging atop the couch and watching TV. He credits Stephanie for not being as bad as he's made her out to be this season, in comparison to Holly...then bitchily dishes that Heidi wrote Lauren an apology letter, something she kept a secret from him until Holly blew the whistle on the whole thing. When he gripes that Holly has thrown "some wrenches in this machine", Stephanie warns about how foolhardy it is to go to war with Heidi's family, so he whines that they started it "when they came out here and bombed me like Pearl Harbor" - 'cause, yeah, that's remotely comparable - then moans about how desperately he wants Holly to move out of the apartment asap. Stephanie strongly advises him to convince Heidi to be the one to kick her sister out, and he gives that idea a big thumbs up.
Spencer has summoned Stephanie to meet up with him at Karma coffeehouse to grumble about how much he haaaaates Holly and Darlene. He adds that he's still miffed about how Darlene called him manipulative and controlling and then complained that Heidi doesn't tell her any personal stuff anymore. Spencer mumbles, "Settle down, stalker mom" ... then calls Holly "the mooch of the century", 'cause all she does is lounge atop the couch and watch TV, which is in direct conflict with his desire to spend all day lounging atop the couch and watching TV. He credits Stephanie for not being as bad as he's made her out to be this season, in comparison to Holly...then bitchily dishes that Heidi wrote Lauren an apology letter, something she kept a secret from him until Holly blew the whistle on the whole thing. When he gripes that Holly has thrown "some wrenches in this machine", Stephanie warns about how foolhardy it is to go to war with Heidi's family, so he whines that they started it "when they came out here and bombed me like Pearl Harbor" - 'cause, yeah, that's remotely comparable - then moans about how desperately he wants Holly to move out of the apartment asap. Stephanie strongly advises him to convince Heidi to be the one to kick her sister out, and he gives that idea a big thumbs up.
"I think of myself as Pearl Harbor and Heidi's family as the Japanese Navy."
"That might be the stupidest thing that's ever spilled out of your mouth."
Over at People's Revolution, Lauren invites Whitney to a party in Malibu this weekend 'cause it seems as though the entire Hills gang is required to be in attendance...and adds that Audrina is taking the opportunity to bring along Corey. She says she's definitely Team Corey, then chuckles about Audrina's low bar in that she's so pathetically grateful that Corey actually returns her calls and doesn't stand her up, and Whitney agrees that that kind of courtesy should be expected from any prospective suitor.
Over dinner at Woo Lae Oak, Corey tells Audrina that soon he'll be headed back to Australia for Christmas, then changes the subject and asks her if she's mostly single these days. She tells him she's been chillin' with a few other guys, including Justin, though not so much lately. Corey says he just got out of a five year relationship and is "stress free, just cruisin'" ... and when Audrina invites him to the Malibu party, he seems totes into being her plus one.
The next morning, Audrina is getting Corey a bowl of cereal when Lauren enters the kitchen and looks delighted to see him rather than Justin. She's further delighted when she learns that Corey will be escorting Audrina to the Malibu party...and then Audrina takes another bold step forward and invites Corey to the Hills posse's upcoming trip to Cabo.
As Holly lounges on the couch and watches TV, Spencer and Heidi are in the bedroom, getting ready to go to brunch. Spencer tells Heidi he most definitely doesn't want to invite Holly along, then makes it clear that he wants the mooch outa the apartment asap. Heidi wrings her hands, reminds him that he squatted on Stephanie's couch for two months when they fake broke up, and moans about how hard it is to give a family member the boot. Spencer implores to her to not allow Holly to impose herself on them a moment longer [while completely ignoring his own history of imposing on Stephanie], then delivers the ultimatum: "It's either her, or it's me."
Over dinner at Woo Lae Oak, Corey tells Audrina that soon he'll be headed back to Australia for Christmas, then changes the subject and asks her if she's mostly single these days. She tells him she's been chillin' with a few other guys, including Justin, though not so much lately. Corey says he just got out of a five year relationship and is "stress free, just cruisin'" ... and when Audrina invites him to the Malibu party, he seems totes into being her plus one.
The next morning, Audrina is getting Corey a bowl of cereal when Lauren enters the kitchen and looks delighted to see him rather than Justin. She's further delighted when she learns that Corey will be escorting Audrina to the Malibu party...and then Audrina takes another bold step forward and invites Corey to the Hills posse's upcoming trip to Cabo.
As Holly lounges on the couch and watches TV, Spencer and Heidi are in the bedroom, getting ready to go to brunch. Spencer tells Heidi he most definitely doesn't want to invite Holly along, then makes it clear that he wants the mooch outa the apartment asap. Heidi wrings her hands, reminds him that he squatted on Stephanie's couch for two months when they fake broke up, and moans about how hard it is to give a family member the boot. Spencer implores to her to not allow Holly to impose herself on them a moment longer [while completely ignoring his own history of imposing on Stephanie], then delivers the ultimatum: "It's either her, or it's me."
"If Holly stays, me and my Xbox are outa here."
"You say that like it's a disincentive."
Malibu party! The Hills posse arrives at the swanky house - that looks to be populated by a large group of bikini-clad randos we've never seen before - and Audrina is in the pool with Corey, both of whom look extremely canoodley while lounging on a pink pool floatie. Frankie asks Lauren whassup with Audrina's new fella, then explains that he's only asking 'cause he wants to invite Justin to come along on their upcoming Cabo trip, as well as to the party they're currently at. Lauren implores him to please not fucking do either of those things - but Frankie ignores her desperate pleas, dials Justin's number, and leaves an incoherently contradictory message about how great/totally lame this Malibu party is. When Audrina ambles over, Frankie asks her which guy she's bringing to Cabo...and when she firmly says she's going by herself (despite having invited Corey along in a previous scene), Frankie frets about what he's supposed to tell Justin when he calls to ask about Cabo. Audrina shrugs disinterestedly and says that after four years of getting jerked around by him, she's finally found a guy who's reasonably nice to her and returns her phone calls...and Frankie's all, "Blah blah.." and informs her that Brody apparently threw all caution and good taste to the wind and invited Justin to party with them in Cabo. LOL.
The next day, Lauren, her pooch, and Audrina hike in the hills and discuss the pros and cons of Justin versus Corey. Audrina says that Justin has been calling her more than usual 'cause he must have heard that she's happily dating someone else. In a valiant effort to not appear anti-Justin, however much she'd probably love it if the obtuse slob would just permanently vanish from their lives, Lauren pronounces, "Things are still fun and new with Corey, but I don't think Justin's going anywhere." That he isn't, Lauren. That he isn't.
Out on the terrace of Casa Pratt/Montag, Heidi tells Holly it's time they figure out somewhere else for her to live...and when Holly stupidly asks why, Heidi reminds her that this arrangement was only supposed to be a week or two, and that she was supposed to use the time to actively search for a job and/or apartment of her own - not just lazily lounge on the couch all day, Spencer-style. A miffed Holly asks if she expects her to go live on the street, and Heidi's like, "Dunno" and dismissively says she can't figure her life out for her at the expense of sacrificing her relationship with her malevolent Chucky doll look-alike of a boyfriend. Holly says she doesn't get why it has to be one or the other, so Heidi tells her about his ultimatum and helplessly asks, "What am I supposed to do?" before sauntering inside.
The next day, Lauren, her pooch, and Audrina hike in the hills and discuss the pros and cons of Justin versus Corey. Audrina says that Justin has been calling her more than usual 'cause he must have heard that she's happily dating someone else. In a valiant effort to not appear anti-Justin, however much she'd probably love it if the obtuse slob would just permanently vanish from their lives, Lauren pronounces, "Things are still fun and new with Corey, but I don't think Justin's going anywhere." That he isn't, Lauren. That he isn't.
Out on the terrace of Casa Pratt/Montag, Heidi tells Holly it's time they figure out somewhere else for her to live...and when Holly stupidly asks why, Heidi reminds her that this arrangement was only supposed to be a week or two, and that she was supposed to use the time to actively search for a job and/or apartment of her own - not just lazily lounge on the couch all day, Spencer-style. A miffed Holly asks if she expects her to go live on the street, and Heidi's like, "Dunno" and dismissively says she can't figure her life out for her at the expense of sacrificing her relationship with her malevolent Chucky doll look-alike of a boyfriend. Holly says she doesn't get why it has to be one or the other, so Heidi tells her about his ultimatum and helplessly asks, "What am I supposed to do?" before sauntering inside.
"You need to find a home of your own."
"I'd much prefer to continue pretending to do that from the comfort of your couch."
Audrina is hanging with Justin by the pool of her house, and - interestingly - he's still being tagged by MTV with the title Audrina's boyfriend. After sipping some wine, Justin tells her he'd like it if she slipped into the pool so he can creepily watch her swim, and she obliges by stripping off her sarong and tank top and lowering herself into the water. She then strips off her bikini while staring at him coquettishly...and after a few seconds, he joins her. When the topic of Cabo comes up, Justin mumblingly gives her a heads up, "I'm going to get in trouble" and then cackles like a demented person...and when Audrina laughingly calls him an ass, he declares, "It's on now!" When she asks him what he means by that [and asks as though he's capable of delivering any kind of coherent response], he nonsensically says he gets to use his hall pass, to which she mumbles that it doesn't really matter 'cause she shouldn't care...and then the two chuckle, canoodle, and kiss before he swims away and giggles, "I'll see you in Cabo!"
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Heidi pretends to contemplate the pros and cons of dumping Spencer
"If She Never Met Spencer..."
Original airdate: 10/5/2008
Episode summary: Lauren admits to Holly that she'd be open to resuming her friendship with Heidi if Spencer weren't in the picture. Audrina goes on two dates with a dullard named Colin before calling it quits.
Original airdate: 10/5/2008
Episode summary: Lauren admits to Holly that she'd be open to resuming her friendship with Heidi if Spencer weren't in the picture. Audrina goes on two dates with a dullard named Colin before calling it quits.
Recap: Lauren tells Lo she has plans to meet up with Holly tonight at S Bar, adding that she's worried about Holly being so fixated on the prospect of reuniting her and Heidi as BFFs. Lo mulls over the unlikelihood of that ever happening, then shrugs and says that meeting Holly for drinks is probably harmless.
While lunching in the very foresty Epic Records break room, Audrina tells Chiara she has a date with a dud named Colin, aka a guy she's known for a year and (until now) never really considered datable. She says she purposely didn't tell Justin about the upcoming date 'cause he doesn't always tell her who he's two-timing her with...and when Chiara asks her if she's trying to make the boorish slob jealous, she smilingly admits, "A little" - but then points out that since there's no ring on her finger, she has every right to date whoever she wants.
Over lunch at Cuvee, Heidi asks Holly about her recent get togethers with Lauren, so Holly tells her that Lauren seems really happy, except that, "Seems like she was missing you." A wistful Heidi says she would looooove to be able to be hanging out and reminiscing along with them - but isn't allowed to 'cause of something she had nothing to do with, then tears up and laments the emotional grief of having lost a best friend. Holly reminds her that she had wanted to write Lauren a letter...and when Heidi says she'd write one if she thought Lauren would read it, Holly eggs her on to do it, assuring her that Lauren "knows who you are...she knows your heart".
Audrina is on her dinner date with Colin and natters about how much fun her fake job at Epic Records is, then takes a sip of her drink and remarks on how strong it is. She further comments about how some people drink too much and subsequently get into fights, kiss busty redheads in front of her, and act all annoyingly cocky...and by some people, she's naturally referring to Justin. A dismayed Colin does his best to steer clear of Justin being a topic of continued conversation and assures her that he's super chill whenever he's had one too many...and before she can slip in another musing about what an insufferable jerkwad Justin can be every time he boozes it up, Colin hastily compliments her eyes and asks her if she'd like to get together again tomorrow.
While lunching in the very foresty Epic Records break room, Audrina tells Chiara she has a date with a dud named Colin, aka a guy she's known for a year and (until now) never really considered datable. She says she purposely didn't tell Justin about the upcoming date 'cause he doesn't always tell her who he's two-timing her with...and when Chiara asks her if she's trying to make the boorish slob jealous, she smilingly admits, "A little" - but then points out that since there's no ring on her finger, she has every right to date whoever she wants.
Over lunch at Cuvee, Heidi asks Holly about her recent get togethers with Lauren, so Holly tells her that Lauren seems really happy, except that, "Seems like she was missing you." A wistful Heidi says she would looooove to be able to be hanging out and reminiscing along with them - but isn't allowed to 'cause of something she had nothing to do with, then tears up and laments the emotional grief of having lost a best friend. Holly reminds her that she had wanted to write Lauren a letter...and when Heidi says she'd write one if she thought Lauren would read it, Holly eggs her on to do it, assuring her that Lauren "knows who you are...she knows your heart".
Audrina is on her dinner date with Colin and natters about how much fun her fake job at Epic Records is, then takes a sip of her drink and remarks on how strong it is. She further comments about how some people drink too much and subsequently get into fights, kiss busty redheads in front of her, and act all annoyingly cocky...and by some people, she's naturally referring to Justin. A dismayed Colin does his best to steer clear of Justin being a topic of continued conversation and assures her that he's super chill whenever he's had one too many...and before she can slip in another musing about what an insufferable jerkwad Justin can be every time he boozes it up, Colin hastily compliments her eyes and asks her if she'd like to get together again tomorrow.
"You don't mind if I drone on and on about a guy who treats me like shit, but from whom I can't seem to detach myself, do you?"
"I'll let this dismayed expression be my answer."
Holly arrives at S Bar and hugs Lauren and Lo hello...and then she and Lauren reminisce about how much gosh darn fun they (meaning the two of them + Heidi) used to have in the old days. Holly dishes that when Heidi started dating Spencer it was really hard for the family to ever get a hold of her, which caused them all to drift apart...then abruptly changes gears and tells Lauren that lately Heidi has been talking about how much she misses her. Lauren shrugs and calls their imploded friendship "water under the bridge" and firmly says that the situation today is not what it was in the carefree days of yore.
Lauren arrives at People's Revolution and hands Whitney a letter she just received from Heidi, inviting her to read it aloud. Whitney obliges...and the letter is largely an apology for anything hurtful she's ever done since Season 2, and a declaration that she takes responsibility - I guess for Spencer starting the (largely overblown) sex tape rumor. The letter continues with a pronouncement that she will cherish their good memories, followed by some lamenting about how horribly things turned out, and a complaint about how difficult this has been for her. Whitney's all, "Yeesh" and says her takeaway from the letter is that Heidi seems lost, lonely, and suffering from a deficit of gal pals. Lauren, meanwhile, highlights the fact that, even after everything, Heidi still can't blame Spencer for being the direct cause of their rift due to his direct role in Sex Tape-Gate...and Whitney dismayingly concurs, "That's loyalty."
Audrina meets up once more with Colin and tells him she's soooo tired today 'cause Justin called last night and prevented her from getting a full night's sleep. Colin mutters, "That sucks", then calls her out for not being able to shut up about Justin whenever they're out on dates. Audrina weakly insists that she and Justin aren't girlfriend/boyfriend - but that she's known him for a long time and he keeps trying to pull her back into his orbit. Colin mumbles, "That's tough" as he stares despondently into space, no doubt aware that his brief airtime on The Hills has just come to an unceremonious end.
Holly drops by Lauren's house to hang out, order takeout, and ask Lauren if she received Heidi's letter. Lauren grimly nods and dismissively says that Heidi has already apologized about Sex Tape-Gate, and that she forgave her for that long ago. She asks Holly if Heidi has a single friend in the world (not counting Spencer), and Holly replies, "She has me" [in other words: no]. Lauren says she'd looooove it if everything were once again fine between herself and Heidi - but she can't bring herself to be civil to Spencer, aka the person Heidi is surgically attached to every minute of every day. Holly chews on that for a few seconds and asks her if the Chucky doll look-alike is the only thing standing in the way of her and Heidi reconciling, and Lauren confirms that he pretty much is.
Lauren arrives at People's Revolution and hands Whitney a letter she just received from Heidi, inviting her to read it aloud. Whitney obliges...and the letter is largely an apology for anything hurtful she's ever done since Season 2, and a declaration that she takes responsibility - I guess for Spencer starting the (largely overblown) sex tape rumor. The letter continues with a pronouncement that she will cherish their good memories, followed by some lamenting about how horribly things turned out, and a complaint about how difficult this has been for her. Whitney's all, "Yeesh" and says her takeaway from the letter is that Heidi seems lost, lonely, and suffering from a deficit of gal pals. Lauren, meanwhile, highlights the fact that, even after everything, Heidi still can't blame Spencer for being the direct cause of their rift due to his direct role in Sex Tape-Gate...and Whitney dismayingly concurs, "That's loyalty."
Audrina meets up once more with Colin and tells him she's soooo tired today 'cause Justin called last night and prevented her from getting a full night's sleep. Colin mutters, "That sucks", then calls her out for not being able to shut up about Justin whenever they're out on dates. Audrina weakly insists that she and Justin aren't girlfriend/boyfriend - but that she's known him for a long time and he keeps trying to pull her back into his orbit. Colin mumbles, "That's tough" as he stares despondently into space, no doubt aware that his brief airtime on The Hills has just come to an unceremonious end.
Holly drops by Lauren's house to hang out, order takeout, and ask Lauren if she received Heidi's letter. Lauren grimly nods and dismissively says that Heidi has already apologized about Sex Tape-Gate, and that she forgave her for that long ago. She asks Holly if Heidi has a single friend in the world (not counting Spencer), and Holly replies, "She has me" [in other words: no]. Lauren says she'd looooove it if everything were once again fine between herself and Heidi - but she can't bring herself to be civil to Spencer, aka the person Heidi is surgically attached to every minute of every day. Holly chews on that for a few seconds and asks her if the Chucky doll look-alike is the only thing standing in the way of her and Heidi reconciling, and Lauren confirms that he pretty much is.
"What dumbass encouraged Heidi to write me a needless apology letter?"
"You're looking at her."
While sunning themselves by the pool, Audrina tells Lauren she's dunzo with Colin, not least 'cause the dullard was barely able to take her mind off of Justin for even one episode...and then she and Lauren agree that it's kinda weird how Justin doesn't seem to care if she dates other guys. Lauren changes the subject to the letter she just received from Heidi...and adds that, while she's greatly enjoying hanging out with Holly, she's annoyed that Holly always has Heidi on her mind and is constantly hinting about how awesome it'd be if they became The Three Musketeers again. Audrina asks her if she'd be friends with Heidi if Spencer were out of the picture, and Lauren says she prolly would, then throws out this existential-style nugget: "Where do you think we'd all be if Heidi never met Spencer?" Audrina says that since he changed the way so many people's lives are being portrayed on The Hills, circumstances would, no doubt, be very different had he not become a semi-regular cast member by virtue of hooking up with Heidi.
Audrina and Justin arrive at Libertine, and I notice that he's now being tagged by the producers as Audrina's boyfriend, which is both interesting and perplexing. He generically asks her whassup, so she brings up her date with Colin...and when he stares back at her blankly and grunts, "The what?", she informs him that she went to dinner with Colin, aka a polite, generally decent guy. Justin sourly mumbles, "You got a winner, dude", then cackles about how Colin and his politeness clearly didn't get very far with her. Audrina, who for whatever reason can't seem to let the topic go, points out that he dates other women, to which he retorts, "Can I do that? Would that make you mad?" He asks her how much thought she put into her dates with Colin, calls her a heartbreaker, and nonsensically muses, "There's ways to go about things: maturely, and maybe immaturely sometimes." Audrina points out that things eventually change [and fingers crossed she's referring to her inexplicably slavish devotion to him despite his general attitude of indifference towards her], to which he cacklingly replies, "Not for looooooong!" Ugh, Audrina. Ugh!
Over at Casa Pratt/Montag, Holly tells Heidi that Lauren definitely misses her and is sad that they can no longer be friends - then abruptly stops talking when a vexed looking Spencer stumbles into the living room. When Heidi confesses to penning Lauren an apology letter, Spencer whines about how she's been keeping secrets from him ever since Holly came to town. Holly argues that it's not Heidi's fault if she feels as though she can't talk to him, and he hisses, "Who's talking to you?" ... and when Holly sassily replies, "I'm her family", he puts his finger to his lips as a command to shush, a gesture which prompts a faux incredulous Heidi to blurt out, "Spencer!" Holly throws all caution to the wind and tells Heidi that Lauren would be totes open to resuming their friendship if Spencer weren't in the picture, and Spencer chortles with delight that he's the reason for the irreconcilable rift, calling it "a win win". Holly tells Heidi there's still a chance for the friendship with her former BFF to be salvaged, then glares in Spencer's direction as she adds, "And especially since it doesn't involve you, it sounds like a great option." Spencer just kind of rolls his eyes as he wearily mutters, "Let go, my dear. Let go", then stumbles back to the bedroom from whence he came, leaving a seemingly distressed looking Heidi staring contemplatively into space.
Audrina and Justin arrive at Libertine, and I notice that he's now being tagged by the producers as Audrina's boyfriend, which is both interesting and perplexing. He generically asks her whassup, so she brings up her date with Colin...and when he stares back at her blankly and grunts, "The what?", she informs him that she went to dinner with Colin, aka a polite, generally decent guy. Justin sourly mumbles, "You got a winner, dude", then cackles about how Colin and his politeness clearly didn't get very far with her. Audrina, who for whatever reason can't seem to let the topic go, points out that he dates other women, to which he retorts, "Can I do that? Would that make you mad?" He asks her how much thought she put into her dates with Colin, calls her a heartbreaker, and nonsensically muses, "There's ways to go about things: maturely, and maybe immaturely sometimes." Audrina points out that things eventually change [and fingers crossed she's referring to her inexplicably slavish devotion to him despite his general attitude of indifference towards her], to which he cacklingly replies, "Not for looooooong!" Ugh, Audrina. Ugh!
Over at Casa Pratt/Montag, Holly tells Heidi that Lauren definitely misses her and is sad that they can no longer be friends - then abruptly stops talking when a vexed looking Spencer stumbles into the living room. When Heidi confesses to penning Lauren an apology letter, Spencer whines about how she's been keeping secrets from him ever since Holly came to town. Holly argues that it's not Heidi's fault if she feels as though she can't talk to him, and he hisses, "Who's talking to you?" ... and when Holly sassily replies, "I'm her family", he puts his finger to his lips as a command to shush, a gesture which prompts a faux incredulous Heidi to blurt out, "Spencer!" Holly throws all caution to the wind and tells Heidi that Lauren would be totes open to resuming their friendship if Spencer weren't in the picture, and Spencer chortles with delight that he's the reason for the irreconcilable rift, calling it "a win win". Holly tells Heidi there's still a chance for the friendship with her former BFF to be salvaged, then glares in Spencer's direction as she adds, "And especially since it doesn't involve you, it sounds like a great option." Spencer just kind of rolls his eyes as he wearily mutters, "Let go, my dear. Let go", then stumbles back to the bedroom from whence he came, leaving a seemingly distressed looking Heidi staring contemplatively into space.
"Shush ya mush."
"Egads, Spencer! You're behaving slightly more unpleasant than usual."
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"This lost puppy of a girl keeps texting me about DVD night...though, admittedly, I usually do enjoy her selections."
"Don't Act Innocent"
Original airdate: 9/28/2008
Episode summary: Doug throws Stephanie under the bus when the Hills posse learns about their restaurant outings. Heidi's mom is unimpressed with Spencer's behavior during a one-on-one lunch.
Original airdate: 9/28/2008
Episode summary: Doug throws Stephanie under the bus when the Hills posse learns about their restaurant outings. Heidi's mom is unimpressed with Spencer's behavior during a one-on-one lunch.
Recap: Lauren and Whitney are working out with Jarett, aka the annoyingly chatty trainer from Season 3's "With This Ring..." episode. Lauren tells Whitney it's been confirmed that Stephanie went out to dinner with Doug - egads! - and for some reason Jarrett weighs in by expressing his needless opinion that it was definitely not cool of Stephanie to dine out with a friend's ex...even though "ex" is prolly far too strong a descriptor for the seemingly flaccid connection that existed between Doug and Lauren for barely two episodes.
The next day at FIDM, Stephanie seats herself beside Lauren and asks her whassup, so Lauren tells her she heard about her dinner date with Doug, then comes right and accusingly asks, "What are you doing?" Stephanie explains that the invitation came out of left field, and that she suspects Doug is using her as a form of revenge after being dumped by her (Lauren) ... and then goes on to assure Lauren that she deleted his contact info from her phone and hasn't returned his many calls. Lauren asks her if she's attending Doug's barbecue party later this episode, and Stephanie says she is...and when Lauren shoots her a bewildered stink-eye and asks her why she'd go to his barbecue after deleting his info from her phone, Stephanie spacily points out that the barbecue was planned weeks ago...and that one can only assume the Hills producers are making her go. Lauren reacts by staring confusedly into space, as if she's not starring on a reality show that's in the business of manufacturing contrived drama wherever possible.
Darlene (Heidi's mom) is in Los Angeles and drops by Casa Pratt/Montag to surprise her daughter. Heidi hugs her hello, as does Spencer, who looks visibly put off by her unexpected visit. Darlene shoots Spencer the side-eye and chides Heidi for not informing her that he moved back into the apartment, and Heidi poutishly replies that she didn't feel like being judged for making that befuddling life decision. Darlene chews on that for a few seconds, then invites Spencer to spend some quality time with her over lunch, and he grins like an idiot and says he knows some great lunch places.
While out on a coffee date - double egads! - at Bella, Doug assures Stephanie that if she gets any crap about them being out at a restaurant together, he'll back her up and insist to the rest of the posse that she did nothing wrong. He says they should be able to hang out whenever they want, and that he hasn't told Brody or Frankie about their get-togethers 'cause he doesn't think it's a big deal. With that said, he asks her what she's doing after this...and the two grinningly decide to make it another DVD night. Hmm hmm...
The next day at FIDM, Stephanie seats herself beside Lauren and asks her whassup, so Lauren tells her she heard about her dinner date with Doug, then comes right and accusingly asks, "What are you doing?" Stephanie explains that the invitation came out of left field, and that she suspects Doug is using her as a form of revenge after being dumped by her (Lauren) ... and then goes on to assure Lauren that she deleted his contact info from her phone and hasn't returned his many calls. Lauren asks her if she's attending Doug's barbecue party later this episode, and Stephanie says she is...and when Lauren shoots her a bewildered stink-eye and asks her why she'd go to his barbecue after deleting his info from her phone, Stephanie spacily points out that the barbecue was planned weeks ago...and that one can only assume the Hills producers are making her go. Lauren reacts by staring confusedly into space, as if she's not starring on a reality show that's in the business of manufacturing contrived drama wherever possible.
Darlene (Heidi's mom) is in Los Angeles and drops by Casa Pratt/Montag to surprise her daughter. Heidi hugs her hello, as does Spencer, who looks visibly put off by her unexpected visit. Darlene shoots Spencer the side-eye and chides Heidi for not informing her that he moved back into the apartment, and Heidi poutishly replies that she didn't feel like being judged for making that befuddling life decision. Darlene chews on that for a few seconds, then invites Spencer to spend some quality time with her over lunch, and he grins like an idiot and says he knows some great lunch places.
While out on a coffee date - double egads! - at Bella, Doug assures Stephanie that if she gets any crap about them being out at a restaurant together, he'll back her up and insist to the rest of the posse that she did nothing wrong. He says they should be able to hang out whenever they want, and that he hasn't told Brody or Frankie about their get-togethers 'cause he doesn't think it's a big deal. With that said, he asks her what she's doing after this...and the two grinningly decide to make it another DVD night. Hmm hmm...
"If anyone gives you shit about dining out with me, I have your back."
"Can I get that in writing?"
At People's Revolution, Lauren tells Whitney that the contrived outrage she's been experiencing over the Doug/Stephanie Dining Out Situation has been largely brushed under the rug by the perpetrators, and that Stephanie is planning to attend Doug's barbecue. Whitney says she's being forced by the producers to make a rare appearance at this Hills event, and Lauren chucklingly predicts that she's really going to haaaaate Doug.
Brody drops by Doug's house and chides him for being a shady guy...so Doug faux explains that he merely wanted to be friends with Stephanie, who keeps "hittin' me up". To provide misleading evidence of this falsehood, he shows Brody a text he got from Stephanie, mocking her invitation to get together for DVD night [which he seemed totes into, two scenes ago] ... then bloviates about how Stephanie was "out of her mind in Vegas", and that when he was nice to her, she blew it all out of proportion. Brody warns him that "Lauren's trippin'", to which Doug points out that she was the one who dumped him [for good reason, clearly], then says that both Lauren and Stephanie are scheduled to be at his barbecue. He cacklingly tells Brody he hopes he doesn't make Stephanie cry again, and Brody shrugs unconcernedly and coldly retorts, "If she cries, she cries. It's not my fault."
Over lunch at the Bloom Cafe, Darlene thanks Spencer for allowing Holly to crash at the apartment for a little while, and Spencer clarifies that Heidi is the one allowing it, and he's not at all fond of the idea. Darlene points out that it's a temporary arrangement until Holly can get back on her feet - but Spencer argues that he suspects Holly's intention is to get him outa there so that she and Heidi can cohabitate without him. Darlene visibly lights up at that prospect and says she'd definitely be on board with that idea, then asks him why he feels the need to live with Heidi so soon after pretending to get back together. Spencer smarmily says he loooooves that Heidi welcomed him back into their home and that she doesn't feel the need to get her family's permission to make these kinds of life decisions, and goes on to suggest that perhaps she no longer gives the tiniest rat's ass about her parents' opinion. Darlene glares back at him and calls him controlling and manipulative, adding that she doesn't say this to make him uncomfortable. He smilingly replies, "I don't get uncomfortable, my dear"... and when an incredulous looking Darlene calls him out for being "condescending, rude, and very hostile right now", he tells her she's taking this nonsensical conversation entirely the wrong way.
Brody drops by Doug's house and chides him for being a shady guy...so Doug faux explains that he merely wanted to be friends with Stephanie, who keeps "hittin' me up". To provide misleading evidence of this falsehood, he shows Brody a text he got from Stephanie, mocking her invitation to get together for DVD night [which he seemed totes into, two scenes ago] ... then bloviates about how Stephanie was "out of her mind in Vegas", and that when he was nice to her, she blew it all out of proportion. Brody warns him that "Lauren's trippin'", to which Doug points out that she was the one who dumped him [for good reason, clearly], then says that both Lauren and Stephanie are scheduled to be at his barbecue. He cacklingly tells Brody he hopes he doesn't make Stephanie cry again, and Brody shrugs unconcernedly and coldly retorts, "If she cries, she cries. It's not my fault."
Over lunch at the Bloom Cafe, Darlene thanks Spencer for allowing Holly to crash at the apartment for a little while, and Spencer clarifies that Heidi is the one allowing it, and he's not at all fond of the idea. Darlene points out that it's a temporary arrangement until Holly can get back on her feet - but Spencer argues that he suspects Holly's intention is to get him outa there so that she and Heidi can cohabitate without him. Darlene visibly lights up at that prospect and says she'd definitely be on board with that idea, then asks him why he feels the need to live with Heidi so soon after pretending to get back together. Spencer smarmily says he loooooves that Heidi welcomed him back into their home and that she doesn't feel the need to get her family's permission to make these kinds of life decisions, and goes on to suggest that perhaps she no longer gives the tiniest rat's ass about her parents' opinion. Darlene glares back at him and calls him controlling and manipulative, adding that she doesn't say this to make him uncomfortable. He smilingly replies, "I don't get uncomfortable, my dear"... and when an incredulous looking Darlene calls him out for being "condescending, rude, and very hostile right now", he tells her she's taking this nonsensical conversation entirely the wrong way.
"I've strongly urged Heidi to not give a shit about her family's opinion of me."
"I'm running out of unflattering descriptors to throw at you."
Barbecue party! The Hills posse arrives at Doug's place...and, for whatever reason, Doug decides it'd be a good idea to cannonball it in the pool and drench the gals, resulting in Whitney getting completely soaked. As she dries herself off, Doug offers an apology - but she dismissively retorts, "I don't even know you...and I don't wanna." Hee! Brody, meanwhile, ambles over to where Stephanie is lounging and tells her she's got a lot of nerve, showing her face at this party. He pompously adds that he's been right about her all along, and that he saw the text messages she's been sending to Doug about invitations to DVD night. Stephanie denies that she's been pursuing Doug - but Brody makes it clear he ain't buying it and snarls, "Don't pretend to be innocent when you're not." As she gets up and flees the pool area, Whitney remarks to Lauren that it's inappropriate for Brody to be publicly admonishing Stephanie like that - but Lauren's just like 'whatever' and begs Whitney to take her with her if she finds herself wanting to leave this train wreck of a barbecue party early.
While dining out together at Tart, Heidi tells her mom that lately she's been sooooo busy with her pretend Bolthouse job, then changes the subject and says she's annoyed that Holly was the one who broke the news about her and Spencer moving back in together. Darlene says she's definitely disappointed that she didn't hear it directly from her, then complains about how rude and condescending Spencer was during their lunch. Heidi pretends to look completely bemused by that revelation and asks what specifically he said, so Darlene tells her he was sarcastic and didn't show her an ample amount of respect. She then tears up and expresses her concern about Spencer not liking it when she spends time with her family, and sadly points out to Heidi that, pre-Spencer, they never used to argue like this. A few seconds later, she inexplicably back pedals and admits to maybe being too controlling, and explains that it's hard to see her daughter be so enamoured of an insufferable Chucky doll lookalike - but concedes that if this relationship makes her happy, then so fucking be it.
Stephanie hides out in Doug's bedroom, the walls of which are adorned with various framed portraits of Doug that I can only assume Doug thought would be a good idea to hang. She sits on the edge of the bed...and the way the footage is edited, she appears to eavesdrop on the conversation that is now occurring in the pool area:
Brody tells Lauren that Stephanie is shady for texting Doug, while Doug argues that he doesn't get why it's the crime of the century to have dinner with a friend. When Lauren says she thinks there was more to their dinner than platonic friendship, Doug claims that he was merely trying to be nice to this lost puppy of a girl, who he suddenly wants nothing to do with. Lauren remarks that for someone who thinks he did nothing wrong, he's spending a lot of time defending it - and Doug proceeds to downplay his dinner + coffee meet-up with Stephanie, to which Lauren responds by exclaiming, "You went out for coffee too?!" LOL. Doug says he doesn't get why the two of them dining out together has become such a big fucking deal, and reminds her that she's nothing more than his ex-fling... and Lauren squeals in protest at being labelled an ex-fling and beats a hasty retreat from the pool area. Frankie and Brody hang back to tell Doug he prolly shouldn't have gone out with Stephanie to any restaurant for any reason - but Doug continues to insist that he did nothing wrong.
While dining out together at Tart, Heidi tells her mom that lately she's been sooooo busy with her pretend Bolthouse job, then changes the subject and says she's annoyed that Holly was the one who broke the news about her and Spencer moving back in together. Darlene says she's definitely disappointed that she didn't hear it directly from her, then complains about how rude and condescending Spencer was during their lunch. Heidi pretends to look completely bemused by that revelation and asks what specifically he said, so Darlene tells her he was sarcastic and didn't show her an ample amount of respect. She then tears up and expresses her concern about Spencer not liking it when she spends time with her family, and sadly points out to Heidi that, pre-Spencer, they never used to argue like this. A few seconds later, she inexplicably back pedals and admits to maybe being too controlling, and explains that it's hard to see her daughter be so enamoured of an insufferable Chucky doll lookalike - but concedes that if this relationship makes her happy, then so fucking be it.
Stephanie hides out in Doug's bedroom, the walls of which are adorned with various framed portraits of Doug that I can only assume Doug thought would be a good idea to hang. She sits on the edge of the bed...and the way the footage is edited, she appears to eavesdrop on the conversation that is now occurring in the pool area:
Brody tells Lauren that Stephanie is shady for texting Doug, while Doug argues that he doesn't get why it's the crime of the century to have dinner with a friend. When Lauren says she thinks there was more to their dinner than platonic friendship, Doug claims that he was merely trying to be nice to this lost puppy of a girl, who he suddenly wants nothing to do with. Lauren remarks that for someone who thinks he did nothing wrong, he's spending a lot of time defending it - and Doug proceeds to downplay his dinner + coffee meet-up with Stephanie, to which Lauren responds by exclaiming, "You went out for coffee too?!" LOL. Doug says he doesn't get why the two of them dining out together has become such a big fucking deal, and reminds her that she's nothing more than his ex-fling... and Lauren squeals in protest at being labelled an ex-fling and beats a hasty retreat from the pool area. Frankie and Brody hang back to tell Doug he prolly shouldn't have gone out with Stephanie to any restaurant for any reason - but Doug continues to insist that he did nothing wrong.
The only thing more wondrous than a framed sketch of oneself..
..is a framed photograph of oneself
Lauren heads over to the bedroom to check on a tearful Stephanie, who vows that she no longer wants to hang with the posse if Brody and/or Doug are present. Lauren agrees that Brody is definitely a lost cause, but says she's still of the opinion that she (Stephanie) and Doug did something they shouldn't have done. She then stares at Stephanie with a look of weary incredulity and murmurs, "I didn't know you went out for coffee too" ... and when Stephanie tries to explain the general nothingness of her coffee date with Doug that no one in their right mind would give even the tiniest of shits about, Lauren cuts her off and storms out of the room looking irked. She then gathers her purse to leave this wretched barbecue party, while Stephanie remains in Doug's bedroom, sadly staring at the floor.
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