The Facts of Life - Season 8, Episode 16

"So...how would you feel about replacing my bride on the wedding day?"

"A Winter's Tale"
Original airdate: 2/7/1987

Episode summary: During a ski weekend, Blair flirts with Melrose Place's  Matt Fielding, who abruptly announces that he's dumping his fiancée for her.

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Recap: The Facts gals are about to leave for a weekend ski trip...and when Andy begs for some relevance in this episode by needlessly tagging along, Jo shuts that down with a firm, "Er, nope." Tootie, meanwhile, is snapping multiple photos of everyone rushing around and explains that she wants to capture every moment for posterity 'cause it might be their last big trip together, given that Jo and Blair are graduating from Langley soon...and would maybe finally want to move on from living under the same roof with the housemates they've had since high school, and a housemother replacement. A desperate Andy gets down on his knees and begs for permission to come along - but Tootie tells him it's more of a girls' weekend...and somehow refrains from suggesting that it'd probably be a healthy thing for everyone if he directed more of his energy into finding kids his own age to hang with. 

When the Facts gals arrive at a fancy mountain cabin, they're shocked to see that it's occupied by a guy in a towel (Hopper) and two pals. When Jo gruffly demands to know what the hell they're doing in their cabin, Tootie explains that the cabin belongs to Warner Industries. One of the towel-less guys - hey, it's the actor who plays Matt Fielding on Melrose Place! - says that his dad, who's on the board of Warner Industries, got him and his buddies the company cabin for the weekend. Blair perks up, introduces herself, and tells Matt Fielding that her dad is on the board of his dad's company...and Matt immediately gets all gushy-smitten and tells Blair that they once crossed paths at a company picnic when she was twelve, and that he couldn't be more pleased about her gorgeous metamorphsis since those awkward pre-teen years.

"You're so much hotter than when you were twelve."

"Guilty as charged."

Jo interrupts the flirtitude to brusquely point out that they can't all co-habitate in the one-room cabin all weekend, and Hopper's like, "Sure we can." Natalie visibly perks up at that prospect, then visibly perks up even more when she learns that nine of the guys' pals are expected to join them to attend Matt Fielding's bachelor party. Matt gallantly offers to dash out, find the nearest pay phone, and come up with a solution to The Case of the Overcrowded Cabin, and a chipper-than-usual Blair offers to go with him. 

Hopper seats himself beside Jo and schmaltzily tells her that he's a shy kinda guy who'd prolly always regret letting a hottie such as herself slip away - but she shooes him away like a pesky insect...as does Tootie when he uses the same schmaltzy schtick on her. He then moves onto Natalie, who's definitely into it and blushingly giggles at the flattery. LOL.

Blair and Matt Fielding return from their pay phone errand and inform everyone that they were accidentally double-booked in the cabin - but that the gals have a reservation later in the day in a cabin a few miles down the road. Jo et. al. decide that in the meantime they're going to hit the slopes...and when Blair announces that she'd much prefer to hang in the cabin. Matt mulls that over and decides he too is going to hang in the cabin all day.

While cozying by the fire, Matt tells Blair that this is the first weekend in awhile that he and his fiancée have been apart, and that they're expecting a few hundred people at their wedding. Blair dreamily says she envies Sheila, and Matt shoots her an 'I'm definitely smitten with you' look and half-heartedly agrees that his fiancée is indeed a very special gal.

"Your soon-to-be bride is such a lucky gal."

"You know, you could change all that for her."

The others return to the cabin after an afternoon of skiing...and when the Facts gals start gathering up their stuff to relocate to their own cabin, a disappointed Matt says he'd much prefer it if they all hung out some more. And by all he really just means himself and Blair. 

When Beverly Ann suddenly peers into the window, the guys assume she's an aged stripper one of them hired for Matt's bachelor party. LOL. A few seconds later, Beverly Ann bursts inside to 1) clarify that she's not a stripper, and 2) inform the Facts gals that she got a call from Blair's dad, warning that a bunch of guys accidentally got double-booked in their cabin for the weekend. She then thought it'd be a good idea to fire up her dilapidated  Winnebago and drive up to the mountains to tell the Facts gals something they'd no doubt have figured out the minute they arrived at the cabin. She tells them that her Winnebago got stuck in the snow on account of the blizzard, and that all the roads in the area are closed. An alarmed Tootie's all, "Wuhhhh?" and makes it clear how annoyed she is that they're going to have to spend their much anticipated girls' weekend with three strangers. 

In the kitchen, Blair tells Matt she's sorry that the blizzard has put the kibosch on his bachelor party, and he reacts by leaning in for a touchy-feely canoodle and cooing, "It's turning out just fine." Mmm hmm..

Annoyed by the inconvenience of the hazardous weather conditions, Tootie snaps photographs around the cabin to cheer herself up, while Blair pulls Jo aside for an urgent tête-à-tête. The guys, along with Beverly Ann, decide to pass the time playing poker. 

Blair tells Jo that they need to leave the cabin pronto 'cause of the hot crush Matt Fielding has developed on her. Jo's all, "The hell you talkin' 'bout?" and reminds her that Matt's getting married next week. Blair explains that she's been getting some pretty strong signals, including an unmistakable canoodle in the kitchen just now - but Jo says she has serious doubts that a guy like Matt would actually dump his fiancée for someone he barely knows, and dismissively tells Blair she's just seeing things. Blair mulls that over, decides she prefers Jo's theory to reality, and looks relieved at not being a potential home wrecker. 

As Beverly Ann cleans out the unsuspecting guys with a series of big poker wins, Matt Fielding seats himself next to Blair by the fire and says he hopes she doesn't think he was being too forward when he so brazenly touchy-feelily canoodled her. She happily chirps back that [after being flippantly advised by Jo] she now [mis]understands the situation perfectly...and he's all, "Yay!" and says he's sooooo happy to have found the right woman. A relieved Blair says she's sooooo happy to hear him say that - just as he starts wringing his hands about what in blazes he's going to tell Sheila when he dumps her for someone he just met. When Blair's all, "Uh, the fuck?", Matt professes his love for her and says he plans to call off his wedding to Sheila. A horrified Blair scrambles to her feet and steers Jo back into the kitchen for a follow-up tête-à-tête.

"I'm so lucky to have fallen for such an amazing woman."

"I can only hope that Sheila will take the abrupt dumping well."

Beverly Ann, meanwhile, continues to win big at poker. 

Blair tells Jo there can be no more denying that Matt Fielding is in love with her...and Jo chuckles about how completely ass-backwards off-the-mark her earlier advice was, then asks Blair what she did to encourage Matt's attraction to her. Blair insists that she was merely being friendly - but then admits that, yeah, she may have tossed back her hair and giggled flirtily a few times. 

When bedtime arrives, the guys and gals divide the cabin by hanging up a curtain. Matt Fielding schmaltzily wishes Blair sweet dreams, and she scrunches her face concernedly and spills the beans to Beverly And and the rest of the Facts gals about how Matt plans to dump his fiancée 'cause he suddenly decided he's in love with her. As Tootie and Natalie look visibly shocked and quasi-appalled, Beverly Ann chalks up Matt's change of heart to men being swine.

Blair announces that she can't possibly sleep on the floor (nearest the curtain) and begs Jo to change places with her. Jo grumpily agrees, mainly to shut her up...and a few seconds later from the other side of the curtain, Matt Fielding misdirects his romantic cooing when he tells Jo that he's lying next to her and that - fingers crossed - it's going to be at the most exciting night of their lives. An amused Jo pulls back the curtain and cackles, "But will you respect me in the morning?!", and everyone (including me) chuckles heartily at her sassy mockery. 

Beverly Ann chides Matt for betraying his fiancée, but then concedes that marriage is big step. She fibs that her marriage ended when Frank was torn apart by wild animals, then assures Matt that it's perfectly natural [for a twenty-something guy who's clearly not mature enough to be in a marriage] to want a fling before settling down...but refrains from mentioning that he's sooooooooo barking up the wrong tree with Blair, 'cause despite the flirty vibe she's always giving off to guys, she's a staunch virgin who was conspicuously absent in the very special Season 9 episode when the first of the Facts gals - Natalie - gets her cherry popped out of wedlock.

A restless Blair tries to have a heart-to-heart with Beverly Ann when she admits that she's always craved attention from males by acting cute and perky...and Beverly Ann refrains from laughing about how that has to be the biggest understatement in the history of understatements 'cause she's fast asleep and loudly snoring.

The next morning, Blair apologizes to Matt for doing anything that may have led him on in any way, and he assures her that his change of heart about his marriage was more about cold feet. When he calls her terrific, she giggles and flirtily tosses her hair - but then has a brief moment of self awareness and hastily stops. 

The rest of the gang wakes up to the sound of snowplows clearing the roads. Hopper once again puts the moves on Natalie - but she wearily tells him that, upon further reflection, she's perfectly fine with him letting a hottie such as herself slip away. 

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