Recap: Blair enters the living room, donning a helmet and a football jersey with padding underneath, and explains to the others that Jo has talked her into playing field hockey in order to fulfill Langley's phys. ed. requirement (which really sounds more like a requirement at the high school level, but whatever). Natalie, meanwhile, happily announces her plans for the day: she has a meeting with an editor at The Peekskill Press to get a freelance writing assignment and hopes the headline ends up being something super-juicy like Illicit Sex in Peekskill...and then is meeting up with Tootie, who's taking her out to dinner to celebrate the [soft] launch of her journalism career.
Tootie arrives home with her new gal pal and - fingers crossed! - future sorority sister, who's played by a very young Penelope Ann Miller. Tootie excited announces that she's decided to rush the Gamma Gamma Mu sorority, but isn't yet sure if she's going to move into the sorority house...and Andy (who the producers somehow haven't yet axed as a semi-regular Facts cast member) saucily offers to take Tootie's place in the sorority house if she opts to continue living in the Over Our Heads building.
Tootie urges Natalie and Penelope Ann Miller to seat themselves with her in the living room so they can get to know each other better, and Natalie explains that she's delaying entering college in order to spend time "experiencing life". Tootie chucklingly tells Penelope Ann Miller about how Natalie has worked every shitty, lowly job imaginable, and a grinning Natalie adds that she considers herself "a Renaissance woman of the minimum wage". An unimpressed looking Penelope Ann Miller asks her how on earth she finds the time to write, and Natalie's like, "I manage", and says that later she has a meeting with an editor from The Peekskill Press.
Penelope Ann Miller informs Tootie about how one of her boyfriend's friends is interested in her, and Tootie's all, "Wheee! He's the finest guy on campus!" ... and the two cackle about possibly double dating. Tootie then hastily tries to include Natalie and her off-camera fella (Snake) to make it a triple date, and Penelope Ann Miller reacts to the prospect of spending time with anyone named Snake by scrunching her face in an ew, not interested expression before reminding Tootie about tonight's big rush party. Natalie's all, "Uh, don't we have dinner plans tonight?", to which Penelope Ann Miller replies that it's fairly vital for Tootie to be at the rush party if she has a hope in hell of impressing the Gamma Gamma Mu decision makers. Tootie excitedly invites her new friend to scamper upstairs with her so she can help her accessorize tonight's outfit.
Later, Tootie is dressed up in her shoulder-padded '80s best and nervously tells Beverly Ann that she has to dress to impress 'cause the sorority gals like to scrutinize every little thing. Beverly Ann feigns as much as interest in her outfit as she possibly can and assures her that she looks fantastic.
Jo aids a hobbling Blair into the house after their field hockey game, and Blair explains that she got injured when Jo accidentally hit her ankle with her field hockey stick. Jo assures her that since no bones were broken in the incident, the only thing she needs to do is keep the leg elevated. Blair decides 'why not milk my faux injury for as long as possible?' and asks Jo to fetch her her pillow and bathrobe so that she can lazily languish on the couch for the rest of the episode.
Natalie excitedly announces her writing assignment for The Peekskill Press: the inside story of Rush Week at Langley College. Tootie says that that sounds fab, then rushes off after she hears Penelope Ann Miller honking from her car. Natalie grumbles to Beverly Ann about being brushed off by Tootie, who she was hoping would agree to take notes about her sorority rushing experience, and Beverly Ann's all 'I couldn't possibly give less of a shit about this contrived conundrum' and breezily assures Natalie that, whether or not Tootie supplies her with notes, she's sure she'll end up writing a wonderful puff piece for the local paper. [And if not, she has even less of a shit to give.]
At the rush party, a group of particularly perky sorority sisters are mindlessly singing what I'll assume is their theme song: "We're Gamma Gamma Mu. Ooh ooh ooh!" Penelope Ann Miller tells Tootie she's sure that this sorority is the place for her, and Tootie says she's just thrilled that she's being considered a prospective member. Penelope Ann Miller looks openly amused by her modesty, then introduces her to two snooty looking sorority sisters, one of whom remarks that she remembers seeing Tootie perform in a recent campus play.
Natalie slips into the sorority house, "disguised" in a grisly mulleted, straw-colored wig, glasses, and an unsightly blue sack dress. As she clutches her pen and notepad to take notes in the most non-covert way possible, a brainless sorority sister named Becky rushes over to chirp hello...and Natalie introduces herself as Natasha and is handed a name tag.
Natalie meets a prospective sorority sister named Debbie and peppers her with questions about why she wants to join this wretched looking girl club. Debbie dishes about how much she loooooves the fact that Gamma Gamma Mu does charity work at the local children's hospital...though it's is mostly a cover for them to scope out the hottest male interns to party with.
Natalie overhears the two snooty sorority sisters from earlier discuss the kind of gals they like to accept into their little club, then chuckle about rejecting them by with the cryptic NOTD acronym. Natalie promptly asks Debbie what NOTD means, so she explains that it's an acronym for Not Our Type, Dear. Meow. Natalie hastily jots that down in her notepad while faux assuring Debbie that there's nothing at all suspicious about her writing everything down that she's seeing and hearing, and pretends that her notebook is little more than a shopping list.
Tootie recognizes Natalie despite the grisly wig and is all, "The fuck?", so Natalie explains that she sneaked into the party for the purpose of getting dirt on Rush Week for her article...and that she tried to enlist her help before being dickishly brushed off when Penelope Ann Miller arrived to pick her up. A few seconds later, Penelope Ann Miller saunters over, asks Natalie what she's doing with that notepad...then grabs it and angrily accuses her of wanting to do a hatchet job on Gamma Gamma Mu. Tootie promises to sort out the situation, and a miffed Penelope Ann Miller says, "I hope so" before wandering off. Tootie tells Natalie that getting into Gamma Gamma Mu is very important to her, and worries that if she pens a negative article about it'll impede her chances of acceptance. Natalie argues that she really really wants to do a good job on this article, and is mystified that she actually wants to be part of this brand of ooh ooh ooh vapidity. Tootie insists that there's more to the gals than the few brain cells it looks like they're sharing, and that she really wants to enhance her college experience with "a feeling of belonging and sharing". Natalie grumbles that she thought she had that at home and storms off - just as Tootie is informed that the candle-lit ceremony is about to begin.
Jo helps Blair hobble down the stairs as Blair mutters how much she haaaaates the ongoing feud between Tootie and Natalie. She says she wants them to settle their differences pronto, but Jo says she gives far less of a rat's ass about the current conflict and urges her to stay out of their friends' bidness.
Natalie brings her typewriter downstairs to the living room, muttering her displeasure about Tootie's new friendship with Penelope Ann Miller. She then asks Blair if she wouldn't mind proofreading her article when she finishes tapping it out...and Blair says she'd be happy to, and a few seconds later also agrees to loan Tootie a pair of her pearl earrings for tonight's sorority event. When Natalie and Tootie object to Blair's equitable helpfulness and start bitching at each other, Blair and Jo order them to work out their differences, like pronto. The two agree, quickly declare a truce, and head back upstairs.
Blair is still pretending to be disabled as she lays on the couch and proofreads Natalie's article. When Penelope Ann Miller arrives to pick up Tootie, Blair heads to the door to answer - but then races back to the couch when she hears Jo about to enter the room. Blair asks Penelope Ann Miller if she wouldn't mind fluffing her pillows for her, and Penelope Ann Miller obliges...and while she's fluffing, notices Natalie's article sitting on the nearby table. She grabs it, somehow slips it into her purse without being detected...and when Tootie enters the living room, the two rush off to the sorority house.
Natalie asks Blair how the proofreading is going, and Blair suddenly realizes that the manuscript is gone. She says it disappeared around the time Penelope Ann Miller arrived to pick up Tootie, and Natalie says she can only assume that Tootie colluded with Penelope Ann Miller to steal it, and vows to get it back.
Natalie storms over to the sorority house and makes a beeline over to where Tootie and Penelope Ann Miller are chatting. She rails at Tootie for not honoring their truce, but Tootie denies knowing anything about the missing article, as does Penelope Ann Miller. Natalie snarls that she's definitely not buying that load of bullcack and sassily threatens where she'd like to stick Penelope Ann Miller's sorority pin. She says she'll leave once she gets her article back, but Penelope Ann Miller curtly orders her to just leave...which she does when it's painfully clear that Tootie is siding with her new friend.
Tootie apologizes to Penelope Ann Miller about Natalie's wild accusations - just as Penelope Ann Miller pulls the article out of her purse and chucklingly hands it to her. A dismayed Tootie's all, "Wha-a-at did you dooooo?!" and Penelope Ann Miller looks proud of her theft and reminds Tootie that she should be A-OK with it 'cause they're about to be sisters. Tootie's all, "Nuh uh", and takes off the little sorority heart necklace she was given to wear and dumps it in Penelope Ann Miller's drink before storming out in protest.
Tootie returns home and informs Natalie that she now knows it was, in fact, Penelope Ann Miller who stole her article. She hands it back to her and assures her she'd never do such a heinous thing - but then accuses Natalie of being jealous of the new friends in her life. Beverly Ann suddenly blurts out, "Harriet!" ... and when everyone stares over at her confusedly, she explains that she once had a girlhood friend named Harriet - a friendship she's comparing to Tootie's/Natalie's - from whom she went separate ways after high school and, sadly, never saw again. A sheepishly looking Tootie and Natalie apologize to each other, agree to make time for one another from this moment forth, and scamper off to enjoy their belated celebratory dinner.
Blair asks Beverly Ann if there really was a Harriet, and Beverly Ann coyly asks, "What do you think?" and heads upstairs. Blair then wanders around the living room - just as Jo returns home and correctly assumes that Blair has been faking her leg injury all episode. Blair blurts out, "Hallelujah! I'm heeeealed!", then races up the stairs with Jo in close pursuit - I assume to punish her for her naughty deceit.
And that's all I'm going to say 'bout that.
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