The Facts of Life - Season 7, Episode 2

"I heard your show needed a shot of extra dreamy testosterone, so here I am."

"Into the Frying Pan"
Original airdate: 9/21/1985

Episode summary: George Clooney joins the cast as an adorable handyman who's tasked with renovating the store.

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Recap: Mrs. Garrett and the Facts gals are gabbling about how thrilled they are to get the residence part of the set back to normal post-fire, and then discuss hiring a contractor to fix up the shop part of the set. Mrs. Garrett says they should look for someone who's hardworking, reliable, and cheap...and in the next scene, she's interviewing a series of prospective contractors:

• A slovenly chubbo named Zeke Higgins, who looks unsightly in a cropped t-shirt and says he'll do the job for 30K
• An animatedly gay designer who has a big vision for the space, but refuses to give Mrs. Garrett an estimate
• A severe looking woman in a suit who wants 45K for the job, then bitchily accuses Mrs. Garrett of not wanting to hire her 'cause she's a woman
• A weary looking old guy who wanders in and blurts out that his fee is 50K

Natalie suggests they call the new store Razzle Dazzle, but no one else likes the sound of that. A few seconds later, a lanky young George Clooney (!) ambles into the room, informs the cast that there's a gaping hole in their charred store, and asks if his newspaper got delivered here by mistake. Tootie sorts through the mail and finds The Kuwaiti Times, and everyone's all, "Wha-a-a-at were you doing in Kuwait?" George explains that he was contracted to build hot tubs for Kuwaiti homes, 'cause apparently "a fella needs to relax when he comes home to his wives". Tootie perks up at that and asks him if he'd be able to rebuild their charred store, and he offers to go take a closer look. Once he's out of earshot, Natalie gushes about how positively adorable he is, while Jo grumbles that he's been out of the U.S. for too long, and that in the Middle East people do strange things like burn dung to heat their homes. Blair says they'll overcome that non-existent-in-America issue by nicely asking him to not bring dung into their store, and the five agree to hire the cutie. When George re-enters the room, he announces that he can do the job for 15K, and adds that he has lots of experience with tools from working at his dad's local hardware store. As Mrs. Garrett and the Facts gals confer, Jo expresses concern that George seems like the irresponsible type, while Tootie says she likes the cut of his jib and Mrs. Garrett really likes the low price tag. Jo reluctantly agrees to give him a shot, and Mrs. Garrett tells George he's officially hired.

"I'm an adorable cheap laborer who has lots of experience building Kuwaiti hot tubs."

"You're exactly the kind of handsome handyman we've been looking for."

While renovating, Natalie asks George why he left Kuwait, so he tells her he got deported after he unveiled a veiled woman he'd been flirting with 'cause he was dying to see what she looked like. Unfortunately, her mother witnessed the cheeky unveiling, reported George to the police, and he was promptly deported by the Kuwaiti government. As Natalie cackles with delight at George's complete lack of cultural sensitivity or awareness, Mrs. Garrett enters the job site and scrunches her face disapprovingly as she expresses disappointment that the flooring hasn't been installed yet. George just shrugs haplessly and says, "I'm working on it."

Blair bursts onto the job site and asks Tootie, Natalie, and George if they'd like to go to a baseball game with her this afternoon. George declines 'cause he's too busy working - but Tootie and Natalie egg him on to blow off the renovation and assure him that Mrs. Garrett is very loose about such matters. George decides 'sure, what could possibly go wrong with me ditching work for the entire afternoon?' and heads out with the gals...and a few seconds later, Mrs. Garrett reappears clutching a blueprint and is perplexed by the abandoned job site. 

Late that night, George, Tootie, Natalie, and Blair are back on the job site, drilling and hammering away. Jo enters the room and says she's annoyed by all the racket, so George explains that he's making up for lost time after deciding it was a good idea to spend the afternoon at the ballpark instead of working on the renovation like he was hired to do. Mrs. Garrett ambles into the room and also complains about all the drilling, then grumbles about the slow progress. When a pizza delivery guy arrives, an irked Mrs. Garrett decides that that's the last straw and tells George she's not willing to wait any longer than necessary for the work to get done, then abruptly fires him. As Tootie, Natalie, and Blair are all, "Wha-a-a-a?!", George says he's A-OK about being let go, amiably says, "It's the way Mrs. Garrett wants it", and casually saunters off-set. LOL.

"You may be pretty, but you're not much of a contractor."

"I will choose to take that as a compliment."

Blair, Natalie, and Tootie complain to Mrs. Garrett about not being consulted about the decision to fire George, so Mrs. Garrett points out that she was repeatedly ignored whenever she expressed concern about George's ineptitude. She concedes that, sure, George is a nice guy, dreamy as hell, and a ton of fun - but she hired him to do a job. Jo concurs and says he simply wasn't responsible enough for the job. Mrs. Garrett reminds the Facts gals that they're businesswomen now and that they need to focus on finding a replacement...and in the next scene, the slovenly Zeke Higgins is lumbering around the job site, finishing up the renovation. 

​Tootie glares at Zeke, who keeps yelling at her for operating the drill, and rails about George's firing. Natalie nods sympathetically and asks if anyone's heard from him, so Jo breezily says he's probably working in his dad's hardware store. Mrs. Garrett says she stopped by there and learned that he's not an employee, then admits that she may have acted too hastily when she fired him - just as Zeke announces that he's going to need another 1K to finish the renovation. When Mrs. Garrett shrieks, "But I don't haaaaaaave another thousand dollars!", Tootie looks over at Natalie and reminds her of the value of her Europe plane ticket, so Natalie offers to cash it in as long as she can get repaid in time to catch the running of the bulls in Spain. Mrs. Garrett thanks her and promises to pay her back asap...and then Blair brings in the mail, which includes George's Kuwaiti Times. Everyone stares sadly into space.  

Jo finds George lunching in a local restaurant and explains that she stopped by his dad's hardware store, and he directed her here. She sheepishly admits she may have inadvertently [or a tad deliberately] gotten him fired, then explains that she distrusted him 'cause she worried his easygoing manner wasn't the best trait in a contractor, given that Mrs. Garrett has her entire life savings tied up in the store. She adds that she's a self-appointed watchdog 'cause none of the other Facts gals are ever willing to take on that role, and George says he totally understands being fired and admits to slacking off on the job. Jo tells him they hired Zeke Higgins to finish up the work, then invites him to drop by the store sometime and check it out.

"We'd like you to join the cast and fill the tiny shoes of Ryan Cassidy."

"That's exactly the kind of low bar I'm looking for."

Blair says she wants the name of the new store to apply to their current situation, then joins the rest of the staff in the ceremonial hammering of the last nail. Blair suddenly blurts out, "Over Our Heads!", and everyone concurs that they're indeed over their heads, and that they each loooove the idea of adopting that phrase as the store's new name. A few seconds later, George drops by to pick up his newspaper, and Mrs. Garrett tells him she hopes he won't get the incorrect delivery address fixed 'cause she kind of likes the idea of him regularly dropping by. She then invites him to join in the ceremonial nail hammering, but his hammer strike ends up bending the nail. He smilingly says, "No wonder you fired me", and everyone chortles in benign amusement at the show's welcome new eye candy.

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