The Facts of Life - Season 7, Episode 10

"Looks like the bond between you two gals is too strong for me to sever."

"3, 2, 1"
Original airdate: 11/23/1985

Episode summary: Jo clashes with Blair when the two are assigned to anchor the Langley News station for a midterm project.

---

Recap: Jo asks Blair if she's given any thought to the news stories she (Jo) wrote for her (Blair) to read aloud on the Langley News TV station. Blair tells her she's been doing some heavy editing, then holds up a bunch of papers with large red Xs blocking out entire pages. An irked Jo reminds her that this is an important midterm project, and Blair's like 'whatever' and says she flat out refuses to present anything that rises above the level of pleasant puff piece. Jo gets so incensed that she calls Professor Jordan to grouse about her dilemma, and he tells her to stop whining, find a way to get the project done, and not bug him about it. Jo suggests a compromise to Blair: an interview with the Dean of Admissions so she can inquire about the unofficial quota admission for minority students. Blair responds by making a meh face and says, instead of that, they should feature a light-hearted human interest story, e.g. the recent fraternity fundraiser, Peace for Pizza. 

Over at the store, the Facts gals are frantically looking for the label gun, and Andy asks George to take the blame (instead of him) for losing it...but then a few seconds later, Jo finds it when she accidentally sits on it. Womp womp! Blair, meanwhile, is thinking hard about a "flashy" human interest story to include in the newscast and suggests airing a live segment from Over Our Heads. Jo hates the idea, then points out the obvious: they probably shouldn't risk a failing grade by exploiting their college's TV news channel for the purpose of promoting their business. 

"Any ideas about how we can present a solemn, informative news program?"

"How 'bout we air a shameless plug for our store?!"

Jo must have somehow lost that battle, 'cause Tootie is bossily leading the rehearsal for the upcoming Over Our Heads segment. Blair, meanwhile, is practicing her repertoire of on air facial expressions - concern, amusement, vapidity - then contorts her face into an expression of annoyance when Jo announces that she's slipping in an editorial about a family who's been evicted in order to make room for the construction of the college's new gym. Blair breezily says she heard that new housing will be found for the family and would therefore prefer to not read that editorial on the air, but Jo warns that she's holding firm on this and won't back down. 

Two cameramen arrive at the store to film the live segment, and the rehearsal quickly devolves into a physical comedy style debacle: Mrs. Garrett's scarf gets snagged on something as she makes her grand entrance, George and Andy bump into each other, and Natalie's demonstration of a battery operated toy dog fails and she reacts by beating it. 

Jo makes it clear to Blair that she won't let her go on the air with nothing but puff pieces, then handcuffs their wrists together and smugly declares that now they have no choice but to go on the air together. Seems like an overly drastic measure, but OK. Blair gasps in faux horror, not looking terribly put out by the prospect of being shackled to her mannish BFF.

Airtime! Blair is sitting at the Langley News anchor desk, still handcuffed to Jo, who's hiding on the floor behind the desk. A guy arrives on set with a saw and tries to remove the cuffs, but is unable to - as Jo stubbornly refuses to hand over the key and natters about the importance of integrity. Professor Jordan arrives, sees the two chained together and is all, "Whassup with the bondage?", so Jo explains that this is her way of protesting Blair's refusal to feature any non-fluffy news stories. Blair tells the professor she had nothing to do with handcuffing herself to Jo and asks if this is going to impact her grade, and he reminds both of them that since the project is their midterm, they'll "fall or stand together". Blair mulls that over, decides she'd rather not get an F, and agrees to read Jo's editorial on the air - but then as soon as they go live, she ignores the editorial and focuses exclusively on her puff pieces. In response, Jo's cuffed hand appears from behind the desk, and she furiously jots down a message to Blair to read her editorial, while crumpling the papers the puff pieces are written on...and  eventually she becomes so frustrated by Blair's refusal to keep her word that she physically drags her down to the floor for a passion-fuelled non-hetero tussle. 

"What are the chances that our physical comedy schtick will land us an A?"

"Zero."

The camera pans over to a live segment from Over Our Heads, where Tootie highlights their bestselling items, Mrs. Garrett flubs her lines, and George urges viewers to drop by soon. Back in the studio, Jo has decided the jig is up and is now seated at the anchor desk as Blair interviews Langley's head cheerleader, Penny, to discuss the popularity of her most recently developed cheer: 'go Langley go!' Jo interjects, reminds viewers that Penny is currently dating the student council president, and asks her why the council hasn't done anything about the family that's about to be evicted to make way for the new gym. Penny's like, "Uh, dunno..?" ... and as Jo defiantly begins reading her editorial, Blair orders the camerawoman to cut back to Over Our Heads for a second (surprise!) live segment, even though no one at the store is actually monitoring the camera by this point. Natalie wanders by and happens to hear voices coming from the camera mic and tells Mrs. Garrett, Tootie, Andy, and George it looks like they're being filmed for another live spot. As they struggle to come up with anything remotely interesting to say, Mrs. Garrett offers to give a live demonstration of her cookie baking...but when the camera's cord can't reach the kitchen, Tootie gives a verbal play-by-play of the cookie baking process. 

Back to Langley News..

Blair tells viewers they're out of time and signs off - but the camerawoman tells her she still has two minutes left of live TV to fill. Blair orders her to pan back over to Over Our Heads, but the gang there can't think of anything to do other than awkwardly wave goodbye. LOL. Blair finally throws in the towel and agrees to read Jo's editorial...and when she gets to the part about a number of families being evicted because of the college's decision to build a new gym, raising the question of whether or not they owe something to the people who are permanent residents of Peekskill, she looks visibly moved. When the newscast officially signs off, the camerawoman for, some reason, cuts back over to Over Our Heads, where a humiliated Mrs. Garrett, Tootie, Natalie, Andy, and George are glaring back at Blair and Jo. They ask the two when they're coming home before openly threatening to hurt them. 

Midterm grade: F

Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

---