Recap: Jo and Blair are on campus, bickering like an old married couple, and Blair finally says she doesn't have time to continue arguing about arguing 'cause she has a class to get to. Jo's like 'whatevs' and heads to the nearby computer lab and sits at a workstation, where she commiserates to the computer about all the squabbling she's been doing with Blair lately. The computer introduces itself as Steve and instructs her to turn on the voice activation feature so she can drone on about her non-hetero relationship issues. Jo tells Steve she really just wants him to provide her with a printout stating that, in all matters, she's right and Blair's wrong - but Steve says that before he's willing to do that, he's going to need her to give him a full assessment of why she feels that way. Steve is definitely far more advanced than any computer operating system I ever thought existed in 1984. Or any decade since. Flashback.. Jo answers the phone and is asked by whoever's on the other end to pass along a message to Blair that 1) the basketball team will be practicing in the gym today, and 2) the Helen of Troy contest that Blair entered has been rescheduled. Jo looks around for a pencil to jot all that down, but can't find one...and promptly forgets about the messages when she gets distracted by Tootie and Natalie. They tell her they didn't get around to buying Blair the Damn Yankees movie poster she wanted them to pick up from the bookstore, so Jo says she'll head over there now and see if it's still available. In the next scene, Jo returns home and reports that the Damn Yankees poster was sold...and that she's off to class and then volleyball practice. Later.. As Jo, Natalie, and Tootie watch TV, Tootie blames Natalie for not buying Blair's poster when she had the chance...and Natalie somehow refrains from reminding her that she too was at the bookstore and had every opportunity to buy the dumb thing herself. Mrs. Garrett scrunches her face worriedly and says they should probably not mention any of this to Blair, and Natalie just rolls her eyes and says she has no idea why they're making such a big deal out of a sold out movie poster. Blair bursts into the room, looking dirty, crumpled, and disheveled in her Helen of Troy costume. She says that when she went to the gym to enter the contest, she was wrestled to the floor by Louis the Lion (aka the basketball team's mascot). Jo sheepishly confesses that she forgot to give her the message about the Helen of Troy contest being postponed...and as Blair shoots her the stink-eye, Natalie and Tootie insist it was nothing more than a misunderstanding. Back at the computer lab.. Steve asks Jo if she purposely forgot to give Blair the phone messages 'cause she secretly wanted to push her buttons...and Jo insists it was an honest mistake - but that she's refusing to grovel to Blair for forgiveness. Flashback.. Jo bangs on the bathroom door and yells at Blair to finish her shower 'cause she has to leave for a meeting in five minutes. Blair emerges a few seconds later and sweetly says, "It's all yours", then gleefully tells Natalie that she ran the hot water for hours so it'd run out by the time Jo needed a shower...and Natalie somehow refrains from wondering aloud how understanding Mrs. Garrett is going to be about the expensive water bill she's about to get slapped with. Downstairs, Mrs. Garrett and Tootie are doing their best to repair Blair's damaged Helen of Troy costume when three Langley guys arrive to pick up Jo for the Student Council meeting ...which seems like an overly contrived reason for three strange men to suddenly be in their residence, but OK. Blair purposely misdirects them to the bathroom upstairs...and Jo's all, "Ack!!" when they walk in on her showering. Back at the computer lab.. Jo tells Steve that Blair deliberately sent the three Langley guys to the bathroom to cause her maximum embarrassment, but luckily the shower curtain effectively hid her naughties. When she says she was determined to get even with Blair, Steve chides her thirst for revenge and reminds her that anger never accomplishes anything. Flashback.. Jo is so embarrassed by the shower incident that she refuses to go out in public without walking in a hunched over manner with a baseball cap atop her head. Mrs. Garrett reminds her that none of the guys actually saw any naked part of her, and Tootie concurs and implores her to kiss and make up with Blair. Jo agrees to call a truce - right after she gets even for the shower incident - just as the phone rings. Whoever's on the other end tells Jo that the Helen of Troy contest is taking place tonight - not in the gym, but in the auditorium - and Jo promises to pass along the message to Blair. Back at the computer lab.. Steve is all, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck..." and tells Jo he finds all this tit-for-tat talk a relentless bore...and that if she doesn't wrap up this bitchfest soon, he'll have no choice but to force quit whatever application they're using and power himself down. Flashback.. Blair returns home, looking as dirty and disheveled in her Helen of Troy costume as she was earlier - after a second attack by Louis the Lion in the gym (aka where she thought the Helen of Troy contest was being held). It remains unclear why no one on the basketball team thinks to direct her to the correct venue whenever she stumbles upon their practices, or why a mascot is being given free license to violently attack whatever female student happens to cross his path. Jo insists that she left a note on her bed soon after she took the phone message, then tries to get the other Facts gals to vouch for her...but they're skeptical that Jo wasn't seeking revenge for the embarrassing shower incident. Blair glares at Jo, says she didn't see any note atop her bed, and vows to continue their tedious cycle of revenge-wreaking. Blair is sitting on the couch, chortling evilly as she jots down prospective revenge-against-Jo ideas. When she exits the room, Natalie asks Jo if she isn't wary of what Blair could be plotting, and Jo grumbles that she couldn't care less what nefariousness the twit has in the works. Back at the computer lab.. Jo tells Steve that Blair never actually did anything in response to the Helen of Troy debacle, and that she still wants him to print something out that states she's right, while Blair is wrong. Steve asks what exactly her relationship with Blair is...and Jo scrunches her face contemplatively for a few seconds before saying, "We're sort of friends." Steve says he highly doubts that, 'cause friends forgive each other for mishaps and refrain from constantly plotting revenge against each other. He then adds that since neither party seems willing to admit their guilt, the only thing he can recommend is to sever the relationship, then sends that in writing to the nearby dot matrix printer. Bravo and amen to that, Steve. Jo's all, "Wha-a-a-a?", takes the printout, and steps into the hall where she sees an animated looking Blair ambling down the hall with a group of her classmates. Jo smiles after her before crumpling up the printout and tossing it into the nearest trash can. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
3 Comments
Jonathan Washington
6/8/2020 10:23:44 am
I'll have you know that is the most sophisticated computer Fisher-Price has ever built. 😁
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Isabel K. French
6/8/2020 10:58:12 am
LOL. I love how 'Facts of Life' was so overly optimistic about the advancement of computer operating systems...both in the '80s and their future prediction of what computing in 2000 would look like.
Reply
ChrisW
3/31/2021 04:08:15 pm
Strange, I found a lot of ways Jo and Blair could solve their problems by googling for Rule 34. I guess Steve is just old-fashioned.
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