The Facts of Life - Season 6, Episode 8

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to pursue higher education."

"Edna Garrett on Campus"
Original airdate: 11/14/1984

Episode summary: Mrs. Garrett takes a class on Shakespearean plays with Jo and Blair...and soon worries that she's too old and unhip to make a return to college.

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Recap: Blair is reading aloud from the Langley College course calendar as she selects the classes she wants to sign up for in the upcoming semester. She says she's very interested in a new course called Gimme Shakespeare, which is taught by a weirdo named Professor Ryan who dresses up like Shakespearean characters and is known for his outside-the-box type teaching methods. Jo says that she too is signing up for that class (shocker) and gushes about how much she loooooves Shakespeare...and Mrs. Garrett stares dreamily into space and says her bucket list includes reading all of Shakespeare's plays, and adds that she's been toying with the idea of going back to school and getting a degree in English literature. The Facts gals urge her to live out her dream of obtaining a post-secondary school education, and Jo suggests she take the first step by signing up for Gimme Shakespeare with her and Blair. Mrs. Garrett points out that she can't just abandon Edna's Edibles...but when Natalie and Tootie promise to pitch in more so she can devote lots of time for study, she mulls that over before shrieking, "I'll dooooooo it!", and everyone's all, "Hurray!"

Mrs. Garrett is in the registration line for Gimme Shakespeare with Jo and Blair, worrying aloud that she may have rushed into her return to college. When Jo gets the last available registration card for the class, Mrs. Garrett looks almost relieved and says it's a sign that she wasn't meant to take the class...but a few seconds later, some random student tells the registration clerk that she accidentally received two registration cards - and Blair snatches the superfluous card out of the clerk's hands, passes it along to Mrs. Garrett, and smugly tells her that this is a sign it was meant to be. Incidentally, this seems like a truly bizarre registration process for college classes, since it doesn't look like the clerk is even recording the names of the students enrolling - but then I'm a recapper not a fictional college matriculation expert.

On Day 1 of Gimme Shakespeare, Professor Ryan gabbles at the class about his unorthodox teaching methods, and Mrs. Garrett somehow decides it's the perfect time to stand up and giddily tell him how excited she is to be in his class. He gives her an incredulous you shittin' me? look, then rolls his eyes before wryly thanking her for sharing. He then shifts into over-animated gear and frenetically divides up the class into two teams - the Capulets and the Montagues - and starts firing random questions about Romeo and Juliet at everyone, Family Feud style. When he lobs a question at Mrs. Garrett, she blanks out and stares cluelessly into space...and when the impatient professor gives up getting an answer out of her, she stares despondently into space while the scene somberly fades to black for a commercial break.

"I'm super excited to be in this class."

"Fantastic. Now sit down and shut your stupid pie hole."

Natalie complains to Tootie about having to put in so many extra hours at the store, and Tootie tells her to stop whining and get on board with her creative initiative of making pastries in the shape of wild animals. Jo and Blair return from class, chuckling about "how cute" Mrs. Garrett was during Gimme Shakespeare...then explain to Natalie and Tootie that the entire class was amused about her adorable lack of knowledge of all things pop culture. Mrs. Garrett enters the store a few seconds later and snappishly retorts that she wasn't trying to be cute, then announces that she's heading upstairs to study.  

Late that evening, Mrs. Garrett is sitting at a table in Edna's Edibles, poring over Romeo and Juliet. Her narrated inner thoughts reveal how nervous she is about tomorrow's oral quiz, questions her tendency to overdress for class and accessorize with an outdated pearl necklace, and her desperate quest to ace Gimme Shakespeare.

The next day, Professor Ryan barks questions at the class about Romeo and Juliet. Mrs. Garrett answers by reciting a direct quote from the play - just before her pearl necklace gives way and the pearls spill across the floor. As she gathers the pearls in total mortification, Professor Ryan tells her to focus less on memorizing Shakespeare and more on understanding the meaning of his words...and she takes her seat, contorting her face into a crestfallen expression as she once again stares despondently into space.

Later, at Edna's Edibles, Mrs. Garrett tells Tootie and Natalie to stop making pastries in the shape of animals, then bitches about the overpriced bill they just blindly accepted from the freezer repair man. She then starts railing about the real reason she's upset: she feels like a joke whenever she's in class, can't relate to Professor Ryan's stupid teaching methods, and hates that she doesn't understand pop culture references from the kids today.

"I look, dress, and sound ridiculous whenever I'm in that class."

"Fair point."

Blair and Jo assure Mrs. Garrett that she'll feel better about the class in a few weeks, and that sticking it out is worth it if an English degree is something she wants to accomplish. Mrs. Garrett says she hates doubting herself, feels like a total idiot in class, and has sadly come to the realization that she waited too long to to back to college. Jo points out that losing confidence in oneself can happen at any age and urges her to give herself the chance to succeed...but then backpedals and adds that she should just do whatever makes her happy.

As Jo and Blair sit [extremely closely!] at a table together and read aloud the last scene of Macbeth, Mrs. Garrett gets a dreamy, wistful look on her face. She ambles over to join the gals for the impromptu study session - I guess signalling that she just reversed her decision from less than a minute ago to drop out - and the three grin stupidly at each other.

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