The Facts of Life - Season 6, Episode 24

Blair's demanding new work regimen takes its toll

"It's Lonely at the Top"
Original airdate: 3/27/1985

Episode summary: Blair temporarily takes over the day-to-day management of Edna's Edibles and lets the power go to her head.

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Recap: Tootie and Natalie are conducting a "croissant challenge" (with the needless help of Kevin and Andy) to determine if the competing bakery, Croissant My Heart, is serving tastier pastries than Edna's Edibles. Kevin blindfolds Blair and feeds her two croissants, and when she declares them both delicious, Andy chuckles about how the meaningless results of this taste test have been rendered even more meaningless than they'd normally be 'cause he thought it'd be amusing to give her two Edna's Edibles croissants. After Tootie and Natalie bark at him to get lost, Blair assures them that she's a savvy businesswoman with plenty of relevant corporate experience, and that she has no problem going head to head with the competition. When Jo enters the room, the gals tell her about the possible threat that is Croissant My Heart, and Jo says that she and Mrs. Garrett already checked it out and decided that people are still willing to pay for the kind of high quality baked goods that Edna's Edibles offers. When Tootie and Natalie look satisfied with that explanation and imply that they consider Jo to be largely in charge while Mrs. Garrett continues to "vacation" off camera, Blair huffily argues that she should be the one in charge. Jo shrugs disinterestedly and says, "Go for it", while Natalie and Tootie stare worriedly into space...then even more worriedly when Blair imperiously declares that she demands total loyalty and support from her subordinates.

Blair's dad drops by Edna's Edibles and is thrilled when he learns that his daughter has declared herself Interim Overlord of Edna's Edibles. She happily tells him she's super excited about all the changes she plans to implement - but he cautions her to first do a lot listening to the underlings.

Early the next morning, Blair summons Natalie and Tootie to the kitchen to begin their first work day under her regime. She tells them she's been studying the efficiency level at Edna's Edibles and has found it to be sucky to the point of embarrassment...and says this as if her own work performance has had no part in the low functioning of the store. She orders Natalie and Tootie to put on hairnets and then rapidly roll croissant dough so she can time them while blaring kabuki music [the way they do to Japanese workers in one of her father's Tokyo factories]. Natalie and Tootie flail about as they do their best to quickly flatten the dough, but get too flustered to generate anything that's worth baking in the oven. 

"I would rank the efficiency level of this shop as zero out of ten."

"Do you think she's talking to us?"

That evening, Blair sashays into the store and decrees that Edna's Edibles will stay open until 11pm and offer free "bottomless" coffee refills, the way Croissant My Heart does. Jo points out that it's unnecessary to do that 'cause business is fine, and Tootie and Natalie tell Blair they can't work late tonight 'cause they both have dates. Blair reminds them that Mrs. Garrett doesn't permit them to go out on dates during the week and demands that they cancel, and they're all, "Screw you!" and throw their aprons at her before storming out. When Blair stares helplessly at Jo, Jo shrugs disinterestedly and tells her she can't force people to follow her decrees, then breaks the news that she can't work tonight either 'cause she has a student council meeting on campus.

"I command you to cancel your dates and extend your work day to 11:00pm."

"No and no."

Blair is run off her feet, pouring free coffee refills for customers, when Papa Warner drops by. She breezily explains that she's stretched so thin 'cause she gave the staff the night off...then sheepishly admits that they angrily walked out on her when she got too dictatorial. She explains that she's trying to match the low prices and late hours of service as their main competitor, and Papa Warner scrunches his face concernedly and says he's worried that she's in over her head. He offers to pitch in with some of the baking, but she declines and says she's determined to succeed on her own.

Blair continues to rush around the store serving customers, and gets groped by a college hockey player who's bitter about losing tonight's game. When he and his friend announce that they're going to blow off steam by shooting pucks inside the store, Blair yells at them to leave - just as Andy, Kevin, Tootie, and Natalie enter the store. Kevin attempts to take control of the situation and barks at the hockey players to get out...and when the hockey players puff up their little chests and threaten to punch his lights out, Blair grabs a can of air freshener and threatens them with a scented face spritz if they don't leave immediately. The hockey players are all, "Ack!" and beat a hasty retreat, and Kevin gushingly tells Blair how impressed he is by her handling of the scary situation. Jo enters the store with Papa Warner, who gave her a ride home from Langley, and is pleasantly surprised when she opens the cash register and sees how much extra business Blair brought in by staying open until 11pm. Papa Warner looks impressed and tells Blair he clearly underestimated her businesswoman prowess. She grins and informs him that she's applying for an internship at a design firm that competes with Warner Industries...and he looks momentarily startled by the sassy act of self empowerment before warmly wishing her good luck.

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