The Facts of Life - Season 6, Episode 21

"Any chance we could become friends with benefits?"

"Man in the Attic"
Original airdate: 2/27/1985

Episode summary: Kevin moves into the Edna's Edibles attic and makes a move on Jo.

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Recap: The Facts gals (minus Jo) and Andy are in the attic of the Edna's Edibles building, cleaning out all the dust and grime like they promised Mrs. Garrett they'd do while she's off vacationing in Tucson with Ted. A few seconds later, Jo arrives with Kevin and says she has no time to help them clean the attic 'cause she has to help Kevin look for a new apartment now that his roommates have given him the heave-ho. He asks the gals if they have any ideas about where he could live...and as Tootie and Natalie quickly reply, "Nope!", Jo glances around contemplatively and suggests he move into the attic. Kevin perks up at that idea and promises to help clean it up, prompting Tootie to glare at Jo and propose that the four of them discuss the matter in private.

Blair says she has no problem with Kevin moving in so long as she can fob off her least desirable chores on him, while Natalie argues that having a man living in the house would upset the delicate balance the show's producers have struck [in keeping these four living and working under the same roof while under the supervision of a housemother for nine relentless seasons]. Tootie worries about being labelled a trollop when people learn that a man is now living in such close quarters to them, but then agrees to call Mrs. Garrett to find out whether or not she approves of the proposed living arrangements. They phone her while she's hot tubbing with Ted [visual alert], and she says she's of the mind that any son of Ted's is welcome to live in her building. A dismayed Tootie primly tells the gals she'll force herself to be all right with the impropriety of Kevin co-habitating with them if everyone else is fine with it.

"Looks like the producers want to shake things up by introducing a male series regular."

"I thought that's what Andy was for."

Kevin enters the room and assures the gals that they're under no pressure to give him the green light to move in - but then drops to his knees and throws his arms around Natalie's legs, begging to be allowed to stay. Natalie shakes him off her legs and tells him they've all agreed to give it a go.  

The next morning, Kevin is shaving in the kitchen while donning a skimpy bathrobe (!) when a groggy looking Blair shuffles in with curlers in her hair. It takes her a few minutes to fully comprehend that she's in in full view of Kevin in a pre-coiffed state, and scrunches her face in horror while declaring to Kevin that she adamantly refuses to change her morning grooming routine just to accommodate him. He's like, "Uh, OK..?" and continues shaving - just as Tootie enters the kitchen and admonishes Kevin for shaving in full view of whoever happens to be walking past the window...then orders him to find a less skimpy bathrobe to parade around in. Natalie breezes in wearing a silky yellow pyjama ensemble in full makeup and expertly styled hair, and pretends she just fell out of bed looking this fabulous. An oblivious Kevin loudly gargles, then swallows the mouthwash, which - ack! - is not advisable, so please don't try this at home.   
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Jo wakes up in the middle of the night to the sound of blaring music and goes up to the attic to see whassup with all the racket. Kevin points to his boombox and says he can't seem to shut it off, so Jo easily remedies that problem by unplugging it, then warns him he needs to keep the decibel level down after midnight - not least 'cause the other Facts gals weren't exactly thrilled about him moving in. Kevin sheepishly says, "I know" and reveals that he's been privy to their conversations 'cause he's been able to eavesdrop on them through the vents. Jo heads off to bed and momentarily panics when the door jams from the inside. She bellows at Blair to come up and let her out, then seats herself on the large trunk beside Kevin. He thanks her for making him feel so welcome...then leans in and gives her a smooch as the scene fades to black for a commercial break.

Blair enters the room and asks Jo if she needs help...but when she sees Jo and Kevin in an unmistakable lip lock, she's all, "Ack!" and hastily rushes back out.

"Anybody home?"

"Oh hi Blair. This is pretty much exactly what it looks like."

Blair asks Jo whassup with her and Kevin kissing, then asks her if she wanted Kevin to move in 'cause they have a thing. As an intrigued Natalie and Tootie are all, "Wha-a-a-a-a?!", Jo tells them to keep their voices down 'cause Kevin can hear​ everything they say through the vents...and Kevin confirms this by yelling through the vents that, yep, he's had no problems eavesdropping on them ever since moving in. LOL. Jo tells the gals that nothing happened between her and Kevin, and that their friendship is strictly platonic, but Blair points out that Kevin clearly has some non-platonic feelings for her...then muses about how puzzling it is that, out of the four of them, Kevin was somehow attracted to the most mannish.

The next day, Jo tells the gals that her attempt to "dump" Kevin went awry when he failed to get the message and proceeded to ask her out to lunch. Kevin enters the room and invites Jo to go out with him tonight, but she tells him she has plans to attend a quilting bee that shuns men - LOL - and he's like, "Bummer" and says he'd hoped they'd go to a basketball game together.

Later, Kevin is in the communal bedroom, ironing Blair's soaking wet wool sweater. When Natalie enters the room and asks him what in blazes he's doing, he explains that he wanted to do something nice for them, so he figured 'why not throw all of their dirty laundry into the washing machine, and then iron the stuff instead of using a dryer?' Blair, who's been looking everywhere for her favorite red sweater, enters the room and gasps in horror at the sight of Kevin twisting the sweater to wring all the water out. He obliviously tosses it onto the ironing board and says he has to head off to class now, but will finish up the laundry when he gets back. 

Later, Jo heads up to the attic to once again tell Kevin she's not into him...but gets flustered when she finds him hanging out with a pretty blonde woman named Diane. Kevin cheerily introduces the two and tells Jo he just met Diane at the local drugstore and liked the cut of her jib so much that he invited her over.

"This is Diane, one of my other lovelies."

"Nice to meet you. I'm mortified."

​Tootie is busily writing up a list of rules for Kevin to follow if he insists on living under their roof - when Jo bursts into the communal bedroom and shrieks, "He has a girl upstairs!" Blair looks visibly amused at Jo's obvious jealousy, but Jo denies being jealous and says she's mostly irked at making a giant arse of herself in front of the drugstore clerk. Kevin overhears the conversation and yells at Jo through the vent to come back upstairs for a tête-à-tête.

Kevin apologizes to Jo for the embarrassing encounter with Diane, then explains that when he's attracted to a woman, it's hard for him to remain just friends. Jo points out that men and women who like each other can be just friends, and Kevin perks up at that notion and asks her if their friendship can include kissing - but she's like, "Uh, no" as the other Facts gals file into the attic. Tootie tells Kevin she's come up with some house rules - e.g. no more doing their laundry - and as she reads the list, he assures her he's A-OK with whatever kind of stringency they want to impose on him.

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