The Facts of Life - Season 6, Episode 19

Of all the girls in all the onesies..

"Gone With the Wind, Part 1"
Original airdate: 2/13/1985

Episode summary: Natalie invites the Facts gals to spend spring break at her grandmother's Fort Lauderdale condo.

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Recap: Blair complains to Kevin about how bored she is 'cause she and the gals neglected to make interesting plans for their spring break, then implores him to go somewhere fun with her - but he declines and says he promised Mrs. Garrett he'd do some stuff around the store while she takes a hiatus during this two-parter. Tootie lumbers into the store still wearing pyjamas and gets admonished by Jo for wasting her entire spring break sitting in front of the TV. A few seconds later, Natalie rushes in and exasperatedly informs everyone that her grandmother just called to suggest that she invite her gal pals to stay at her vacant Fort Lauderdale condo during spring break...and offered this when the week is half over. Blair perks up regardless and offers the use of her father's private jet, and points out that Kevin can keep an eye on the store while they're away. Tootie loves the idea...as does Jo when she's assured by the gals that the trip isn't going to cost her anything.

The four arrive at Grandma Green's Fort Lauderdale condo, settle onto the plastic covered couch, and discuss their evening plans to cut loose. A youngish blonde guy emerges from the second floor...and when the gals are all, "Mmm...who's that?", Natalie introduces him as Ben the building manager and good friend of her grandmother's. Blair makes it clear she considers him very far beneath her station in life and sassily informs him that her father has tons of money. Ben rolls his eyes derisively and asks her what she does, and she smugly retorts, "Spend it." Ben quips, "What a grind" to which she replies, "It's a living" - even though it's the opposite of that - and makes an ew face when Ben tells her he's a full time handyman. She asks if there's any chance he's doing that while attending college and aspiring for a higher earning career, and he's like, "Uh, no" and heads out. I'm going to safely assume that the open hostility between these two was just a TV trope-ish prelude to them being secretly intrigued by the other while masking an insatiable desire to hook up in the near future.

"I make an honest living as a handyman."

"How dreary for you."

The gals arrive at a nightclub called the Red Claw, where Tootie and Natalie manage to sneak in without having to show their fake IDs to the bouncer. When the waitress comes by their table to take their drink orders, Tootie orders a whiskey sour.

Young and the Restless '80s hunk Michael Damian - OMG! - and his unspeakably poofy mullet hair - OMFG! - take the stage, and soon he starts crooning in Jo's direction. He somehow decides he likes what he sees as he checks out Jo and the baggy red onesie she decided was a good look for a night out, and ambles over to the gals' table. He creepishly hovers over Jo as he throatily belts out his "hit" ... and when she makes no move to laugh, groan, or even grimace at the cheesy hilarity of getting hit on by Dreamy Danny Romalotti, he grabs her by the hand and pulls her onto the stage. A pretty blonde guy, meanwhile, seats himself beside Blair and smaltzily calls her "a vision of beauty", then introduces himself as Morgan, a well-pedigreed snoot who's studying pre-law and comes from a highbrow family. Tootie merrily orders drinks for everyone before announcing that she's throwing an impromptu party at Natalie's grandmother's condo...and everyone's all, "Kewl!" as they follow her out the door. 

The condo is soon filled with whoever had been clubbing at the Red Claw, and Tootie giddily remarks to Natalie what an awesome party they've unwittingly thrown. Morgan continues to woo Blair and suggests they find somewhere quiet to hang out, but Blair's like, "No can do" 'cause it's obvious that, despite how good he looks on paper, she finds him to be an insufferable dud.

Michael Damian leaps atop the couch that Jo's sitting on and tells her how impressed he was by the extraordinary dancing ability she demonstrated after he pulled her on stage...and Jo blushes and jokes, "Anyone can breakdance." Natalie, meanwhile, circulates among the partygoers, yells at two guys playing catch with a couple of her grandmother's knick-knacks, and makes it clear how stressed she is about hosting so many strangers in a condo that doesn't belong to her. Ben drops by, looks dismayed by the volume of partygoing, and tells Natalie he's going to each condo unit to board up windows in advance of the - surprise! - hurricane that's roaring toward Fort Lauderdale.

"How does it feel to be in the presence of a hot '80s rock star?"

"Wuh? Van Halen is here?!"

Morgan is laying it on thick to Blair about how gorgeous he finds her when Ben suddenly bursts into the kitchen to board up the windows. He eavesdrops on Morgan as he brags about his he plans to practice corporate law 'cause it's the only kind of law that'll pay him what he's worth...and when Ben makes a snide remark about his low value, Blair looks visibly amused.

Jo blushingly tells Michael Damian she's puzzled about why he's chosen her - a tomboy on the mannish end of the spectrum who decks herself out in shapeless onesies - to fixate on, and he shrugs at the totally reasonable observation and says that underneath his pretend rock star persona, he's just a regular dude [with a big side of dork baked in]. He then decides to regale her with another song...and gets all edgy with it by fist pumping - LOL! - and bobbing his mulleted head - LMAO! - to the beat. Blair, meanwhile, crawls away from Morgan and complains to Jo that despite him being everything she thought she wanted, she really can't stand the sight of him. She then crawls straight into Ben and pretends she was looking for an earring.

Ben tells Natalie that the storm has been upgraded to a hurricane and that all the partygoers in her grandmother's condo should stay put until after the storm passes. A stressed out Natalie grabs the mic from Michael Damian [thank you!] and announces to everyone that a hurricane is about to bear down on them, and they all react by wooting happily. LOL. 

Blair asks Ben if he could use some help checking on the other condos...and when he says he can handle it himself, she insists that she really really wants to help. He accepts her offer and the two depart the condo just before the camera pans over to some stock footage of a violent looking hurricane. Eeeeeek!

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