The Facts of Life - Season 6, Episode 18

"If I were the irresponsible type, I'd be into weed or magic mushrooms."

"With a Little Help From My Friends"
Original airdate: 1/30/1985

Episode summary: Blair is shocked to learn that her new beau is a cokehead.

---

Recap: Blair is admiring her lovely reflection in her compact mirror as she practices Italian...and gets embarrassed when Jo and Kevin sneak up on her and chuckle at the self-absorbed spectacle. She explains that she was practicing her Italian 'cause her new beau Nick is on his way over, and apparently he looooooves the way she rolls her Rs. When Kevin’s all, "Huh?”, Jo explains that Blair and Nick recently fell in love in Italian class...and Kevin shrugs disinterestedly and tells Jo he's super stoked about their plans to go to a Gloria Steinem lecture (her idea), after they go to a movie about surfers (his idea).

Mrs. Garrett complains that her freezer is on the fritz, and that the repairman isn't willing to come fix it on a Sunday...which doubly sucks 'cause she has dozens of cheesecakes from a cancelled order that need to remain frozen. Tootie suggests they unload the cheesecakes by selling them in the store, and Natalie perks up at that idea and offers to pitch in.

Nick arrives at Edna's Edibles and babbles about how hard it was to decide on what to bring Blair as a trinket - flowers or chocolates - and decided 'why not buy her some Muppet bookends?' Er, OK. He asks Mrs. Garrett why she's so visibly stressed out...and when she tells him about the freezer/cheesecake situation, he offers to buy one of the cheesecakes. Blair pulls Jo aside and gleefully tells her he's doing this strictly to be a nice guy 'cause she well knows how much he hates cheesecake. Nick tells Blair they need to hang around for his friend Steve 'cause he's dropping off some class notes, then swiftly changes the subject and urges her to roll her Rs for him. Blair purrs something - we'll say rrrrrrruscello - and Nick is all, "Mmm...I am soooo turned on right now." A few seconds later, he gets a call from Steve to tell him he'll be over any second now, so Nick "admits" to Blair that Steve's not so much dropping off notes as he is borrowing some much needed cash. As Blair happily ponders the generous nature of her new beau, Andy arrives at the store and offers to help Mrs. Garrett and the gals with the cheesecake crisis by posting signs all over downtown Peekskill.

"Roll your sexy Rs for me, baby."

"Verrrrrginità."

​Natalie drags Father Donovan into Edna's Edibles to report to Mrs. Garrett that he somehow lost a big batch of desserts while driving to a church bazaar. He asks her if she has anything to sell him, and she happily shrieks, "I have plenty of cheeeeeeesecake!" LOL.

Blair and Nick are playing Battleship to kill the time while waiting for Steve to turn up. Andy, meanwhile, returns to the store wearing a Let Edna show you a little cheesecake! sign with a rendering of a sexy version of Edna wearing a bikini (!) and tells a reluctant Tootie it's her turn to publicly humiliate herself by walking around town with the offending sign strapped onto her. Mrs. Garrett says she's not entire sold on the idea of advertising cheesecake by having minors parade downtown with signs that depict her decked out in skimpy swimwear, but does nothing to stop a reluctant Tootie from putting on the sign and lumbering out for her shift.

Blair tells Nick she's annoyed that they've spent so much time waiting around for Steve to show up to collect his loan, and says they could have spent the day having fun with Jo and Kevin. A few seconds later, Jo and Kevin return from the surfing movie - just as Jo overhears Nick leave a phone message for Steve Hartman. She scrunches her face concernedly, makes a beeline over to where Blair's sitting, and tells Blair it's unlikely that this Steve fellow needs money 'cause the only trouble he could be in is...then pauses and silently taps the side of her nose while nodding knowingly. Blair stares back at her blankly and asks, "Sinus trouble?", so Jo spells out that Steve Hartman is "the campus connection" for those who like to dabble in cocaine...and Blair's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and stares back at Jo in horror.

"Steve Hartman is a coke dealer."

"Regular or diet?"

​Blair steers Nick into the living room area and tells him that Jo just dropped a bombshell on her, namely that Steve Hartman is a drug dealer...then asks if it's true. Nick's like, "Yep!" and openly admits that he makes buys from Steve every now and again. An incensed Blair's all, "Wha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a?!" and gives him the what for for ruining their entire day by making her wait around with him for his drug dealer to show up - but, more importantly, for neglecting to mention that he's a druggie. Nick says he didn't tell her 'cause he figured she'd overreact, then insists he has perfectly legitimate reasons for doing coke: he needs to get by on four hours of sleep a night so he can keep up with his full course load, play football, run track, be a member of student government, and work for the college paper. Yeesh. He explains that he's unnecessarily overextended himself 'cause he's trying to get a future together and not let her down. After babbling that nonsensicalness, he self-piteously throws his hands in the air and goes, "What else can I do?" and Blair firmly retorts, "Stop." Nick says he can't/won't do that 'cause there's far too much at stake...and that while he doesn't totally hate the feeling that washes over him whenever he snorts a little blow, he's mostly doing it so he can stay on top of his many commitments. Blair points out that such regular drug use is surely hurting him, but he breezily assures her that he's very responsible, aka not the type of guy who "gets caught up in this stuff" - despite being caught up in it enough to make his girlfriend wait around with him for hours just so he can score his latest fix. When he asks Blair if his coke use changes anything between them, she stares sullenly into space and says, "I don't know." Andy pops into the room to inform Nick that he has a phone call, and Nick's all, "Wooooo hoooo!" and races across the room to go answer it. LOL.

"I'm reaping the benefits of snorting coke without trying to enjoy how high it makes me."

"Come again?"

By the end of the day, all of Mrs. Garrett's defrosted cheesecakes have been sold, mostly 'cause she lowered the prices to such a ridiculous degree that the net profit ends up being a meagre $5.00. She parcels out the share of the earnings - $1.65 each - to a dismayed Natalie, Tootie, and Andy.

Blair wryly tells Jo that Nick has been waiting around the store all day for his drug dealer to arrive, then wails that she doesn't know what to dooooo. Jo gives her a funny look and says it's not complicated, then points out how stupid and destructive coke is. When Nick saunters over, Jo bitchily asks him if he's given any thought to how a drug deal going down in Edna's Edibles could impact Mrs. Garrett's business...and when Nick gets annoyed at being called out for using Edna's Edibles as his drug/money transaction venue, Jo mocks him for dabbling in something that he's in way over his head with and for supporting the dirty system of illegal drugs. After she storms off, Nick tells Blair that Jo is way off base, then laughs off the idea that Mrs. Garrett could, in any way, be negatively impacted by a drug deal going down in her store. Blair tells him she doesn't find any of this amusing, and resents the fact that he made the Facts cast an unwitting part of his drugging. She stalks across the store, defiantly turns the sign on the front door to closed, and says she's no longer willing to wait around with him in the hopes that Steve will finally get around to dropping by to top off his coke supply. She implores Nick to attend the Gloria Steinem lecture with her...or frankly do anything that doesn't involve a drug purchase, but he tightly says, "I can't tonight" and goes outside to pace the sidewalk as he continues to patiently wait for the elusive Steve, who - for whatever reason - didn't seem to regard selling drugs to Nick to be very high on his priority list that day.

Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

---