The Facts of Life - Season 4, Episode 6

"The sooner you open that envelop and locate your birth mother, the sooner this storyline can be forever resolved."

"Dearest Mommie"
Original airdate: 11/17/1982

Episode summary: When Natalie learns the name of her bio mom, she tracks her down in the phone book and meets her for the first time.   

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Recap: Everyone is gushing over Natalie for landing a plum gig writing a column called Nat's Chat: A Teenager's Look At the World in a New York newspaper called The Beat. Fellow Eastlander, Bland Brenda (last seen in the Four Musketeers episode), snootily scoffs that no one actually reads The Beat, but Tootie snarks back that it's a hot, hip, and happening paper. After Brenda flounces off in a huff, Jo rushes over and tells Natalie that her mom just arrived, and Natalie giddily says they have plans to go to lunch and celebrate her new column...then goes upstairs to grab her coat and purse. Jo finds an old yo-yo in her pocket, and for some reason the writers figured that this discovery was enough to create a subplot around. Jo performs a few fancy yo-yo tricks, and everyone is so impressed that they start wooting and clapping. Jo eyes Blair and boasts that only someone with a high level of skill and concentration can work a yo-yo...and Blair takes this as a challenge and attempts some beginner yo-yo moves, but when it's clear that she has zero yo-yo-ing abilities, Jo laughs and calls her a klutz. Blair declares that in one week she'll be able to do everything with a yo-yo that Jo can do. Fantastic. Can't wait.

Mama Green enters the cafeteria, and everyone rushes over to greet her. She asks them how Natalie is taking the excitement of being a New York columnist, and Tootie assures her that nothing fazes Natalie. Cue Natalie, who enters the room wearing sunglasses and a scarf "casually" thrown around her neck so she looks celeb-like. Blair, meanwhile, gets her finger stuck in the yo-yo string, and Mrs. Garrett hustles her over to the kitchen to pry it loose. Natalie urges her mom to talk to Mr. Parker about granting her permission to miss classes on Fridays so that she can attend editors' meetings in New York, but Mama Green cagily replies, "We can discuss that at lunch." When Natalie presses her for an answer, she breaks the news that she and Papa Green have discussed the column and decided that there would be too many deadlines and too much pressure for a teenager to reasonably handle. Natalie assures her she can handle it, but Mama Green argues that she shouldn't have to deal with such a high level of stress at her age, and would prefer that she spent her spare time having fun. Natalie snaps, "I hate fun!" and asks Tootie to corroborate her hatred of fun, but Tootie can't bring herself to do it. Natalie begs her mother to reconsider and says she neeeeds to be able to express her creativity - but Mama Green tells her there's plenty of time for her to focus on a career, and that she hates saying no but feels that her decision is what's best. Natalie grumbles that she has no idea what kind of damage this is doing to her future career as a writer and that she can't possibly understand what's going on inside of her. Mama Green says, "Of course I can. I'm your mother" but Natalie bitterly retorts, "You're not my real mother!" Ouch. Tootie, who is somehow still in the room and brazenly eavesdropping on their argument, gasps and goes, "Natalie!" but Natalie owns her bitchitude and rails, "Well, she's not! My real mother would understand!" She then calls Mama Green a stranger and storms out of the room.

"Natalie! Tell your mother you're sorry for what you just said!"

"Tootie has a tendency to overstep."

Natalie's reading in the bedroom when Tootie drops in and tries to cheer her up with a funny story about the dumb thing Brenda did in art class - but Natalie wearily says she's not interested. Tootie assumes she's bummed about having to turn down the columnist job, but Natalie says she's actually way more upset about the argument she and her mom had. Tootie suggests she call her mom and tell her she didn't mean what she said, but Natalie stubbornly replies, "I did mean it." She explains that she loves her parents and everything, but also really wants to know where her creative instincts come from. Tootie asks her if she's truly serious about locating her biological parents, and Natalie silently opens her trunk and takes out a small box filled with all the letters she's received from various organizations that help adoptees find their bio parents...and says she's kept her search on the down-low 'cause she feels disloyal for doing this behind her parents' backs. A stunned Tootie poutishly remarks that she's never said anything about any of this to her, and Natalie just kind of shrugs and says it's a moot point, 'cause the organizations won't tell her anything until she turns eighteen...which sucks, 'cause she wants to know all about her bio parents now.

"How long have you been keeping the search for your birth parents a secret from me?"

"Ever since I realized that the earth doesn't revolve around Planet Tootie."

Mrs. Garrett enters the room to hand deliver a letter to Natalie that just arrived. Natalie assumes that the letter is from her mom, telling her what a rotten daughter she is...but when she opens it, she's surprised that it's an acknowledgement from her mom about how their earlier spat was all about her needing answers about her biological parents. Mama Green has also included the name of her bio mom - Ellen Manheim - and Natalie stares solemnly into space as she processes this life-altering information.

Natalie is dressed in a red sweater and pleated skirt and is staring at herself in a full-length mirror to decide if she likes herself in the outfit. She tells Tootie she's about to go meet her bio mom, but has no idea what she's going to say to her. She anxiously asks Blair if her outfit is OK, and Blair tells her she looks just fine. When Jo enters the room, Blair smugly tells her she's been practicing her yo-yo-ing (*&^%$#!!) and would like to demonstrate some tricks. Jo's like, "Yeah whatever" and proceeds to ignore Blair's yo-yo-ing while she assures Natalie that it's totes normal to be nervous and scared about meeting her bio mom - much like she was when she had to awkwardly interact with her dad after he was released from prison in The Secret (episode) in Season 2. With that said, Jo heads for the door - but Blair stops her and says she didn't witness any of her yo-yo-ing. Jo rolls her eyes and invites her to perform a yo-yo trick, so Blair announces that she will perform Around the World, then starts lassoing the yo-yo above her head. When she quickly loses control of the thing, everyone's like, "Ack!" and dives for cover until she safely flings it against the wall. Mrs. Garrett pops in and offers to drive Natalie to the train station, and Natalie pontificates about how she'll soon have all the answers to the questions she's had for so many years, but frets that they may not be the answers she wants. Mrs. Garrett reminds her that she expressed a desire to find her bio parents in Season 1's Adoption episode - but felt that she had some growing up to do before the storyline could be revisited. She tells Natalie she now believes she's fully ready to cope with whatever answers her bio parents give her...after which, viewers can look forward to the issue being dropped entirely. 

Natalie arrives at her parents' home and finds Mama Green relaxing in the living room. She explains that she was in New York for the day and thought it would be nice to spend the night in her old room. She tells her mom she feels badly about their argument the other day, and Mama Green says she does too, and the two apologize and hug it out. Mama Green offers to make popcorn and suggests they pass the evening watching a movie together...and as she's heading to the kitchen, Natalie abruptly says, "I met her today." Mama Green looks stunned, and Natalie explains that she was able to track down her birth mother simply by looking her up in the phone book. She says they were both kinda nervous, but they had some cake and a nice chat about everything she's ever wondered about, genetically speaking. Dunno why such a pivotal scene would have taken place off-camera, but...whatevs, writers.

"So...I met my birth mother today."

"I'll put extra butter on your popcorn if you agree to never speak of her again."

Mama Green does her best to change the subject, in a not-so-subtle fashion, as Natalie continues to gabble about her birth mother. When she mentions that Ellen Manheim wasn't married when she got knocked up, Mama Green snaps, "I don't want to hear about this!" then immediately apologizes and says she didn't expect to react this way. She assures Natalie she's happy for her for finding her birth mother 'cause she knew how important that was to her...but that it kinda sucks for her 'cause she likes being the only mother in her life. Natalie tells her that she got answers to some of the stuff she's always been curious about...but then throws her insecure ma a bone and says there was absolutely nothing of her in Ellen's apartment. She then looks around the Green home, beams, and says, "This is me" and points out all the stuff on the bookshelves that reflect her upbringing and interests...and adds that she and dad had a lot to do with how she turned out. Well duh. Mama Green thanks her for the gracious words and suddenly feels secure enough to tentatively ask about Ellen...and when Natalie pauses and goes, "Are you sure?", Mama Green says she's going to have to know her too. The two then sit on the couch together, and Natalie tells her about all the boooooring crap she and Ellen chatted about...and as that's happening, the camera zooms in on a photo in the background with Natalie and Mama Green hugging.

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