Recap: The Facts gals are in the kitchen, and they're all (minus Jo) a-titter as they stare through the tiny kitchen window at the group of Bates Academy boys who are meeting with Mrs. Garrett to discuss the logistics of an upcoming dance. Blair blabs to everyone that Natalie is crushing on one of the guys, Ben, and Natalie vehemently denies it and says she merely thinks he's smart, nice, funny, interesting, and good looking. Heh. After Mrs. Garrett wraps up the meeting, the gals (minus Jo) rush into the cafeteria to leer at the boys and ask about the details of the dance. Mrs. Garrett tells Ben they'll get together again soon to further discuss the various food options...and when Jo asks Ben what the committee decided, he tells her it's going to be a formal Sadie Hawkins affair. Tootie looks intrigued by the idea of asking out a boy, Blair makes a face and calls it degrading, and Natalie non-subtly tries to get Ben's attention as she chirps, "Sounds like it could be fun!" Ben mumbles, "I guess" then springs up from his chair and rushes over to the other side of the room. Natalie follows him and asks him if the idea to make the dance a Sadie Hawkins event was his brainchild, and he goes, "Yep" then flees the cafeteria altogether. Ouch. Tootie tells a crestfallen Natalie that she should totally ask Ben to be her date, and Natalie says it's probably not a good idea, since - considering the way he regularly averts his eyes from her and grunts one syllable answers to her questions - it's obvious that he has absolutely zero interest in her. Based on the interaction that just occurred, that would be my assessment as well. Mrs. Garrett says she thinks it's a sign he really likes her [crazy talk, in my opinion], then suggests that asking him out might be a good way to break the ice. Natalie says she'd prefer to ask a guy out on her terms, not 'cause she's being pressured to by the organizers of a Sadie Hawkins dance. Tootie gushes about how excited she is to invite a boy to the dance - but Natalie tells her she shouldn't bother, then pronounces that no one is actually planning on going to the dumb thing. Blair says she's definitely not going - 'cause in her world, a girl asking out a boy goes against the laws of nature. Jo chimes in and says she has no desire to ask out any of "those twerps" to a dance. Tootie looks miffed at the lack of interest in the dance and insists that she still wants to go...but Natalie warns her that if she does, she'd be abandoning her principles and setting back women's rights and everything else that famous feminists like Gloria Steinem have worked so hard for. Tootie rolls her eyes at the nonsensical, self-serving bullcack and declares that she has every intention of asking out a boy and having a fabulous time at the dance.
Tootie is on the phone with a boy named Ron, asking him out to a movie...and when she finishes the call, she gabbles to the gals about how energized she is to suddenly have the courage to ask out guys, and that it's opened up a whole new world for herself. She suddenly goes, "Ack!" when she realizes that she accidentally invited two boys to see the same movie...then decides to just roll with it and says, "Oh well." Natalie snarks at her to take a break from asking out boys, then whines to Mrs. Garrett that Tootie is working her way through every datable boy at Bates. Mrs. Garrett urges Natalie to not boycott the dance, then wisely flees the room when Natalie and Tootie get into another tedious snipefest. Natalie tries to convince Tootie that the real fun will be had not at the dance, but in the cafeteria where she, Blair, and Jo have plans to hang out in their PJs and spend the evening playing cards and pigging out on junk food without any boys watching. Tootie haughtily replies that she'd much rather eat like a bird with guys watching. Blair breezes into the room and announces that she now feels compelled to ask a boy to the dance 'cause she's worried that people might start to think she wasn't able to get a date. She then remarks on how satisfying it will feel to bestow upon the chosen boy the thrill of Blair Warner asking him to escort her to a dance.
A few seconds later, Jo bursts in and excitedly tells everyone she met boy named Mitch at the arcade...and that she liked him so much she invited him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Natalie's all, "Wha-a?!" and tries to convince her to cancel so that she doesn't end up staying home alone like a loser, but Jo barks at her to give it a rest.
Natalie complains to Mrs. Garrett that her friends are sellouts, and Mrs. Garrett tells her to shut it and just ask a damn boy to the dance already. Tootie concurs and urges her to pick up the phone and call Ben - but Natalie denies having any desire to do that, then sadly says he's probably already been asked out. Mrs. Garrett murmurs, "Maybe not" then tells her she has some dish to share from the last dance committee meeting. Apparently, word on the street is that some hussy named Eunice Shram is gearing up to ask Ben to the dance. Tootie's like, "Ack!" and urges Natalie to call Ben before it's too late - but Natalie glumly says it's probably already too late, plus she doesn't want to face the inevitable rejection. Mrs. Garrett urges Natalie to at least give it a shot, but she wails, "What if he says no? Or laughs?" then says she'd rather stay home in her PJs than risk the humiliation of putting herself out there and getting turned down.
Jo stomps into the cafeteria and announces that she's not going to the dance after all. Apparently, Mitch suddenly remembered that he's competing in some kind of sports tournament on Saturday night. Tootie re-enters the cafeteria after taking a phone call and tells everyone that Michael is now refusing to go to the dance with her 'cause he found out she's also been out with his roommate...along with everyone else in his friend circle. She then perks up and says, "I can just call someone else!" Blair sadly announces that she did have a string of guys lined up who were anxiously waiting to be asked out by her...but when she finally made her choice and selected Donald, he told her she waited too long and accepted another invitation. She then asked her second, third, and fourth choices...but, like Donald, none of them wanted to wait around for her indefinitely, and accepted invitations from other girls. Tootie re-enters the room after working the phones to score herself another date, and glumly says she can't convince any Bates guy to trust that she's not going to step out on him. Natalie claps delightedly and says it's official: they're all going to stay in and spend Saturday night playing bridge!
It's Saturday night, and the Facts gals are decked out in their unsightly flannel PJs, playing cards. Blair, who's got green face cream spread across her face, stonily insists on remaining in denial that she's sitting at home on a Saturday night. Mrs. Garrett enters the cafeteria, all dolled up for the dance, and says she's off to pick up her date. A few seconds later, Ben arrives after being lured there by Mrs. Garrett under the pretence of needing to pick up some records and table cloths for the dance. He shyly says hi to Natalie - and Mrs. Garrett suddenly decides she needs everyone's help in the kitchen, then instructs Natalie to show Ben where they keep the records. As Natalie leads Ben over to the lounge, he asks her if she's going to the dance...and she says, "No" and he goes, "Me neither." She stares at him in surprise and says she figured he'd be going with Eunice Shram...and he tells her that Eunice did invite him, but he declined 'cause the girl he wanted to go with didn't invite him. He boldly adds, "I want you to know, we would have had a great time" and Natalie perks up and goes, "We?!!" and Ben nods and says that since it's a Sadie Hawkins event, he's not technically allowed to ask her. She goes, "Do you want me to ask you?" and he says yes and officially accepts her invitation. That seemed like an implausible shift in his attitude towards her, but OK. Natalie is suddenly giddy with teenage girl excitement, then looks down at her PJs in horror and excuses herself to go upstairs and put on some clothes. She asks Ben why he never asked her out before, and he sheepishly tells her he was afraid of rejection...and Natalie chuckles and says that's almost as silly as her being afraid to ask him out.
Natalie announces to Mrs. Garrett and the Facts gals that she will be going to the dance after all. Mrs. Garrett looks thrilled for her, while pajama-clad Jo, Blair, and Tootie shoot her simultaneous stink-eyes. They sarcastically ask, "What about your principles? Women's rights?" and Natalie breezily tells them not to be bores, then rushes upstairs to change. The studio audience then starts tepidly clapping, since it wasn't quite obvious to them that this is where the writers decided to abruptly end the episode.
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