The Facts of Life - Season 3, Episode 7

"Soon-to-be ex-boyfriend...meet the future boyfriend."

"Sweet Sorrow"
Original airdate: 12/9/1981

Episode summary: Jo's new friendship with a boy from Bates Academy causes her to rethink her relationship with Eddie.

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Recap: Jo's ex-fiancé Eddie is at Eastland for a visit...and even though he's off duty (from the Navy) and could have worn regular, civilian clothes, he's dressed in his dorky blue sailor uniform. Eddie nervously wrings his hands and asks Tootie and Natalie if they think Jo will be surprised to see him, and Tootie goes, "Well d'yuh - she's not expecting you 'til tomorrow." Mrs. Garrett emerges from the kitchen with a tray of oatmeal cookies, tells Eddie they're the healthy kind and shoves one into his mouth, then pours him a drink to wash it down. Natalie says she's surprised she's being so friendly to Eddie, considering his/Jo's near elopement in Season 2. Mrs. Garrett says that she and Eddie are good buddies, now that he fully grasps the reality that he and Jo are waaay too young to get married. 

Jo and a tall guy with a white person's 'fro enter the cafeteria, chattering and laughing. Eddie squeals, "Jo!" and Jo rushes over to him and hugs him. They gabble about how much they've missed each other, and she checks out his sleeve and exclaims, "You earned another stripe!" and he grins and proudly says, "I was hoping you'd notice." She motions toward the 'fro sporting guy, and introduces him as Bob Perkins, her husband, and Eddie's all "Wha-a?!" so Jo hastily explains that their "marriage" is part of a social studies assignment they're doing with Bates Academy. Bob chimes in and explains that the teachers pair up a girl/guy from each school to have a simulated marriage. Eddie's eyes bug out and he snarks, "How much is simulated?" so Jo downplays the marriage aspect of the assignment and says it's really just an excuse for the teachers to assign them more homework. She explains that she and Bob have to create a budget (e.g. food, rent, income tax) and that the assignment is designed to prepare them for the future. Mrs. Garrett says she approves of a curriculum that teaches teenagers that sharing a bed isn't the only thing in a marriage. Eddie quips, "But it's the best thing!" and Mrs. Garrett smacks him across the head for his impudence.

"I know you're in the Navy and all, but how about throwing on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans for the weekend?"

"But I know how swoony you get over a man in uniform."

A glum looking Blair enters the cafeteria and grumbles, "You won't believe the turkey they stuck me with!" then points at Eddie and goes, "I'd rather be married to him." Bwahahaha! Tootie asks her who her "husband" is, and she makes a face and says, "Some guy named Waldo Wilbur." Yikes. She rails about how unfair it is and says, "Even Jo got lucky" and Bob says, "I'm the lucky one - I got her." Eddie interjects and snarls, "No no no no...I'm the one who's lucky - I got her" and everyone just kind of stares at each other awkwardly. Eddie reminds Jo that he got tickets to the dirt bike rally tomorrow, and then Bob reminds Jo that their marital budget is due Monday, which means they're going to have to spend part of the weekend working on it. She promises him they'll get together tomorrow afternoon. After Bob leaves, Blair calls him adorable, then grumps about how she has no desire to be Mrs. Waldo Wilbur. Eddie tells Jo that he thinks the marriage assignment is great, 'cause it'll teach her all the skills she'll need when she becomes Mrs. Eddie Brennan. Poor, clueless sap.

The next day, Jo and Eddie return from the bike rally. They tell Mrs. Garrett about how awesome it was, and then Mrs. Garrett informs her that Bob called to remind her about getting together to work on their assignment. Jo says she'd really like to cancel, but Eddie urges her to get her work done and says he'll come by this evening and take her out to the arcade. 

Jo and Bob are in the cafeteria, working on their marital budget. Blair enters the room and just stands there, smiling at the two of them. Jo and Bob amicably compromise on the entertainment budget, and are pleasantly surprised to discover that they share some common interests. Blair gushes, "Married two whole days and not one argument." Bob asks her how her marriage to Waldo Wilbur is going, and she grimly replies, "We're looking at getting twin beds." Heh. Jo heads over to the lounge to find a newspaper to look at the cost of apartment rentals...and while she's gone, a clearly smitten Bob tells Blair that Jo is really smart and that she'll make someone a great wife. Tootie (who appears out of nowhere with Natalie) snarks, "That's what Eddie says" and Blair looks faux confused and goes, "Eddie who?" and Tootie sassily retorts, "The Eddie who gave her the ring she always wears around her neck." Bob says it looks as though Jo and Eddie are pretty serious, and Tootie's like, "Well, d'yuh" while Blair waves her hand in the air dismissively and says it's nothing more than a fling.

Mrs. Garrett summons the girls to help her set up for dinner, so Jo and Bob wrap up their work. Bob says they can get together later to finish it, but Jo says she has plans with Eddie tonight. Blair advises her to finish her homework - subtle, Blair - and offers to entertain Eddie while they work. Jo agrees and says she'll call Eddie (at the Y) and tell him she has to work this evening. Bob proposes they finish up the marital budget over pizza, but Jo says they should probably just concentrate on their assignment.

Jo must have changed her mind, 'cause in the next scene, she and Bob are in a pizzeria, looking as though they're having a marvelous time. He gazes into her eyes and says, "You're a very interesting person" and she blushes and goes, "Ya think so?" and he says, "Sure" then asks what her philosophy of life is. She scrunches her face as she mulls that over, then says she doesn't think she has one. He says he doesn't either, then suggests that maybe not having a philosophy or following rules could be their philosophy. He calls her "a very interesting person" again, places his hand over hers, and says he enjoys working with her...and she agrees that she enjoys it too. Mmm hmm..

"You're a very interesting person, Jo."

"You're not exactly chopped liver yourself."

"Thanks. Girls don't always react well to the 'fro."

Jo and Bob return to Eastland after their night out, chattering and laughing. They find Eddie camped out in the lounge, asleep on the couch. Jo pokes him awake and asks him what he's doing here, so he explains that he just wanted to make sure she got home OK. When he sees Bob standing there, he's all, "Whoa!" and asks him what he's doing here. Bob says he was making sure that Jo got home OK...then announces he's leaving now, so then Eddie petulantly announces that he's also leaving. Jo suddenly gets irritable and snaps, "You're both leaving!" She tells Bob she'll see him in class, then tells Eddie she'll see him tomorrow. She barks, "Good night!" and stomps out of the lounge, leaving Eddie and Bob alone in the lounge, glaring at each other.

As soon as Jo tiptoes into the bedroom, Tootie shines a flashlight at her and haughtily snaps, "It's about time!" and informs her that it's after 11pm. Natalie gushes about the awesome date she and Bob must have had, but Jo clarifies, "It wasn't a date, it was a working dinner." Tootie accuses her of cheating on Eddie, as though any of this is any of her business, and Jo threatens to punch her lights out. Natalie urges Tootie to go downstairs with her, but Tootie refuses and hollers, "Not until I find out exactly where Eddie stands!" - the fuck?! - and Blair gets out of bed, wearing a very buttoned up Victorian type nightgown, and orders Natalie to eject Tootie from the room, which she manages to do. Blair tells Jo not to be mad at Tootie's busybodiness, then explains that she just needs to get used to the idea that she's starting to date other people. Jo hotly denies that she's dating other people and shows Blair all the progress she and Bob made on their budget assignment. Blair pretends to concede that it was, in fact, a working dinner, but then Jo says, "Who are you trying to kid, Blair? It was a date and you know it." She says that she and Bob went out for pizza, finished up their work by 8pm, then spent the rest of the evening talking, laughing and having a great time. She wails, "It was awful!" and asks Blair why she stayed at the pizzeria. Blair says it's 'cause she was talking, laughing, and having a great time...then asks her why that's so awful, and Jo says, "Because I'm not in love with Bob." Blair tells her that a date doesn't have to lead to love, going steady, or even another date...and Jo makes a blech face and says that her mom calls that kind of thing fickle, and Blair says her mom calls it playing the field. Jo insists that she wants to date only Eddie, and Blair rolls her eyes and tells her she's been holding onto that dork like he was a security blanket. Jo snarkishly accuses her of trying to break her and Eddie up, then stubbornly insists that they're going to stay a couple for ever and ever...'cause, yeah, that'll show Blair. What a dumbass.

"I think Bob is a huge upgrade from your loser boyfriend."

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to stick it out with my loser boyfriend purely to spite you."

Mrs. Garrett tells Jo, who's furiously searching for something, that Bob called. Blair breezes in and excitedly announces that she and Waldo Wilbur are divorcing! Hooray! Jo snidely remarks that some people just can't commit, and Blair says it's impossible for her to commit to a person with two first names. Fair 'nuff. After Jo heads into the lounge to continue searching for whatever she's searching for, Blair tells Mrs. Garrett that she's going to have to rework her marital budget to include alimony payments to Waldo.

Jo is searching under the couch and tells Mrs. Garrett that she lost the ring Eddie gave her...and is afraid she may have lost it in the pizzeria. Mrs. Garrett asks her when she and Bob are going out again, and Jo snaps, "Never!" then wails, "Wha-at's happening to me?!" She says that all her life she's wanted one special person, with whom she'd be with forever and ever, and thought she had that kind of permanence with Eddie. She doesn't get why she wants to go out with Bob, so Mrs. Garrett gives her a motherly smile and says, "Because he interests you." Jo miserably asks, "What am I supposed to do? Go out with every boy who interests me?" and Mrs. Garrett goes, "Why not?" Jo makes a blech face and says that playing the field is so...Blair. Mrs. Garrett explains that her life and her needs are changing...and that she's a very different girl than she was in the Season 2 premiere. Not to mention that she's SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD and doesn't need to choose her one and only at this point in her life. Jo worries that she's being selfish and says she owes people more than that, but Mrs. Garrett assures her that it's not terrible to do something for oneself, and that the only thing she owes people is to give them the best of herself. She then finds Jo's engagement ring/necklace, and Jo clutches it and profusely thanks her.

A few seconds later, Eddie enters the lounge and Jo runs over and throws herself into his arms. She whimpers about almost losing the ring he gave her, and he says it's all good 'cause she found it. Eddie then puts his serious face on and says, "We need to talk" and Jo asks him if he's mad about last night. He assures her he's not mad, but that he's noticed that every time he visits her, she's a little different. Jo acknowledges that and says it's 'cause of everything she's learning and experiencing at Eastland. Eddie says they don't seem to understand each other anymore and asks her what they should do about it. Jo asks him if he thinks they should break up, and he goes, "No...er, I dunno" then suggests they see other people. In other words, yes. Jo wails, "How am I gonna make it without you?!" and he tells her she's been doing just fine, then says, "This is not goodbye forever" (even though, save for a guest appearance in Season 5, it is pretty much goodbye forever). Jo asks him if he wants his ring back, and he just shrugs and goes, "I dunno" and she's like, "I dunno either" and then the two promptly drop the issue. Eddie promises to always be there for her, and the two make half-hearted promises to write, then hug and smooch for the last time.

"Jo, I've decided that we should start seeing other people."

"I already am seeing other people."

"I know. I was trying to salvage my last scrap of dignity with a preemptive break-up."

Jo is sitting on the couch, holding the ring and tearfully staring at the floor, when Mrs. Garrett enters. She tells her that Eddie wouldn't take his ring back...and that she can barely look at it. Mrs. Garrett assures her that one day this ring will give her pleasure, and that she'll show it to her grandchildren and smile when she tells them all about her first love. Jo starts weeping, then collapses against Mrs. Garrett in a comforting hug.

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