Recap: Carrie and Misha are indulging in an amorous (but chemistry-free) canoodle in a restaurant when three of Misha's colleagues spot him and make a beeline over. Misha introduces them to Carrie: John Paul (hey, it's creepy Alberto from Scarface!), Lee (one of Misha's flunkies), and Audra (a snooty magazine editor sporting a tight bun). Audra pompously pronounces to Misha that "the world is waiting with breath that is bated" for his upcoming solo exhibition in Paris, then asks Carrie how his pieces are coming along. Carrie stares back at her blankly and says she knows nothing of these pieces or that he was even preparing for an exhibition...and when John Paul asks her if she's also an artist, she replies while keeping a straight face, "No, I'm a writer." As Audra peruses the menu, she asks, "Novels? New York Times?" - bwahahahaha! no! - and Carrie seems far less embarrassed than she should be when she says she's a raunch columnist for the fictional tabloid rag The New York Star. As Audra shoots her an incredulous you shittin' me? look, Misha chides her snideitude and tells her that Carrie's column is a witty regurgitation of her and her slutty friends' weekly sexploits and sex-related angsts...and Audra tries her hardest to not laugh and murmurs, "I'm sure." Misha grabs a nearby copy of The Star and starts reading aloud Carrie's most recent dreck, which is some superfluous raunch about how the last time anyone enjoyed the 69 sex position was in 1969. Audra looks aghast and this time shoots Misha her you shittin' me? look.
Charlotte and Anthony take Elizabeth Taylor for a walk, and the adorable pooch is repeatedly cooed over by complete strangers. Anthony remarks on all the action she's been getting on her short walk, then agrees with Charlotte that she's a very prancy little dog. Charlotte somehow deduces that this pranciness must mean that Elizabeth Taylor misses dog show competitions and is desperate to hit the circuit again. Miranda arrives home to her unfinished Brooklyn house, looks around, and rolls her eyes with disdain. She bitches to Steve about how much her feet hurt after having to walk all the way home from the subway station...and when Steve suggests she slip into a pair of sneakers for that torturous walk, she snarls, "You can take me out of Manhattan, but you can't take me out of my shoes." She asks him if he installed her DSL line yet, but he tells her he was too busy putting up sheet racks in Brady's room 'cause he figured that giving their child walls would be more of a priority than Internet access. He hands her the stack of mail that came...and she gets giddily excited when she sees that the newest issue of her favorite gossip rag Tattle Tale has arrived. Stanford and Marcus spot Smith and Samantha (who's sporting a long, dark haired wig in this scene) sitting together in a restaurant...and when they amble over, Smith invites them to join their twosome. A few seconds later, an admirer of Smith's gushes about how much his girlfriend loooooves him and asks for permission to take a picture...and Smith agrees, but only if the photo includes his friends. Marcus and Stanford lean towards him and smile for the camera. While canoodling (spark-free) in bed, Carrie asks Misha for the deets on his upcoming exhibition, but her blows off her questions and calls any talk of his always off camera art installations "so fucking boring", which...yep, I can only assume. Carrie tells him she needs to get started on her very busy day of brunching and mindless shoe shopping, but Misha urges her to vegetate with him in his loft...and she agrees and ends up staying there for the next four days. The gigolas, meanwhile, are at the brunch summit, waiting for Carrie to arrive. Miranda holds up her copy of Tattle Tale and tells Samantha (who's now donning an unflattering severe blonde wig) she has some disturbing news to break: Smith is a newly outed gay man. She hands Samantha the magazine, which features the photo that was taken by the gushy fan with the headline Boys-s-s night out? LOL. Samantha was cropped out of the photo, and Marcus looks very canoodly with Smith and is assumed to be his lover...while Stanford is referenced as "an unidentified older gay gentleman". LOL. Samantha just shrugs disinterestedly and says that ever since the genesis of her tedious cancer storyline, she refuses to sweat the small stuff. Charlotte gets a call from Carrie on her cell phone to tell them she's cancelling her appearance at today's brunch summit 'cause she's too lazy and inconsiderate to leave Misha's cosy loft. Miranda grabs the phone and barks at her to get her ass uptown pronto, but then Samantha takes the phone from her and assures Carrie they're fine, and that she should stay put with her hot man. After she hangs up, the three glance over at Carrie's empty chair...and then the camera pans over to the loft, where - blech - Misha is giving Carrie a foot rub.
When Carrie returns to her apartment, she hits play on her answering machine and is startled by several phone messages from Mr. Big, who urges her to call him asap. In the last message he whiningly asks her if she's not phoning him back 'cause he did something to tick her off, and she responds by hitting the delete button. Carrie drops by Miranda's Brooklyn home-in-progress and proudly announces that she "deleted Big". Miranda looks impressed and says, "Wow, that's new" ... and Carrie explains that sometime after his snubbing of her during The Domino Effect episode, it finally penetrated her thick skull that nothing was ever really going to happen between them ($#@! if only)...but that she's A-OK with it 'cause of how serious things are getting with Misha. She describes their chemistry-free hookup as grown up, with no fuss or confusion about how he feels about her. She then pauses and scrunches her horsey face concernedly and says the only thing she's mildly [but should be far more] concerned about is that they have absolutely nothing in common [no zsa zsa zsu to speak of - which somehow was so crucial in the Season 5 finale] and that he doesn't seem to want to share anything with her about his work. A few seconds later, Steve arrives home, warmly greets Carrie, and says he brought them some dessert. He then kisses Miranda on the forehead and says he loooooves it when her gigola friends come over to hang...and Carrie grins stupidly and tells Miranda she wants them all to meet her Russian squeeze. Carrie invites Misha to drinks Sunday night so he can meet her fabulous friends, and he pretends to be intrigued by the proposition and accepts. He tries to lure her back to bed, but she tells him she needs to get home to her computer 'cause she has a raunch column to finish before her looming deadline. Misha offers her the use of his fancy multi-monitor computer in exchange for one hour in bed. Carrie agrees, and the two smilingly sashay upstairs...and that's all I'm going to say 'bout that. Post-doink, Carrie sits in front of Misha's large computer monitors and churns out her weekly drivel, nattering in a voice-over about sizzling romances, and whether even the hottest relationship can stop cold if the couple don't share their worlds with each other. Yawn. Sam is treating herself to a pedicure when she overhears a couple of catty women discussing Smith's gayness, then cackle about Samantha being a fag hag. Samantha glares defiantly into space. At the dog show (where Charlotte has entered Elizabeth Taylor), Samantha is complaining to Carrie, Miranda, and Stanford about being faux outed as a fag hag. Stanford sullenly says it's better than being referred to as "an unidentified older gay gentleman", then haughtily asks, "How can they just assume I'm gay?" and the gals stare over at him in bemusement and refrain from pointing out the obvious about the obvious. Carrie excuses herself to head backstage and check up on how Charlotte and Anthony are doing in preparing Elizabeth Taylor for the show...and things are not so great ever since Elizabeth Taylor got her period and started dripping blood all over the grooming table. During the toy dog category judging, Charlotte bounds around the show ring with Elizabeth Taylor and makes it to the finals. During the final round of judging, the judge looks over the well coiffed pooches, flirtily checks out Charlotte, and likes what he sees so much that he awards the top prize to Elizabeth Taylor despite her blood dripping. As Charlotte and her sweet pooch skip around the show ring for their victory lap, the judge stares over at her dreamily. While exiting the dog show, Samantha runs into a gay PR flunky named Tom who asks her for Smith's number. She's like, "Nice try, I'm fucking him" and Tom just laughs and goes, "Sure you are" ... and Samantha gets enraged at being a faux fag hag laughingstock. Samantha ropes Smith into making a sex tape that will get "accidentally" leaked to certain media outlets and go viral on the Internet. The two doink doggy style, and Smith dutifully sticks to Samantha's script and "blurts out" what a fine piece of ass she is. Charlotte and Harry take Elizabeth Taylor to the neighborhood dog park...and Harry urges Charlotte to let her off leash so she can make some dog friends. Charlotte agrees, but then immediately regrets it when Elizabeth Taylor is promptly humped by several little mutts. During Sunday night drinks, the gigolas chuckle about Elizabeth Taylor's promiscuousness during her first dog park outing. Misha calls Carrie on her cell and tells her he's too wrapped up in his art work to come out tonight...and Carrie moans about how disappointed she is. After their call, he arranges for the restaurant to send their table an expensive bottle of champagne...and after the gals ooh and aww at his classy generosity, Carrie remarks that Misha is always encouraging her to be more spontaneous, then suggests that after they polish off the champagne, they should all stop by his loft so she can introduce them to her luvuhh. The gigolas arrive at Misha's loft, giggling drunkenly. Carrie smugly points out that Misha's studio and apartment take up the entire floor of the building, and the gals look exaggeratedly impressed. Carrie bangs on the studio door...and an irked Misha answers and asks her why in blazes she's interrupting his work. She chirps that she's being spontaneous, then introduces him to each gigola. Misha nods hello at them, then turns back to Carrie and impatiently snaps, "When I say I'm working, I'm working. OK?" and slams the studio door shut in her horsey face. Haha! Awesome. A mortified Carrie turns around to face her friends, who all pretend as if they're suddenly tired and need to head home. Carrie opts to stay over at Misha's place for the night, and shoots the studio door the stink eye as she crosses the hall toward the apartment.
Miranda arrives home and canoodles with Steve, who's already in bed. She tells him she loves him for loving her friends and for doing all the home renos...and when he tells her he installed her DSL line, she lets out an excited squeal and mounts him. Post-doink, Miranda visits Tattle Tale online and stumbles upon the sex tape that Samantha and Smith had made earlier. She stares at it in horror for a few seconds, then shuts down her computer, flees back to bed, and tries to erase the disturbing visual that's been seared onto her brain. Carrie is so upset over the icy treatment Misha meted out to her friends that she marches over to his studio, all prepared to give him the what-for. When she finds him despondently slumped at his desk, she asks him whassup...and he mumbles that he's getting freaked out about all the expectations regarding his solo exhibition, and worries that it won't be enough for his art adorers. Carrie assures him he's brilliant and offers to be a sounding board for his angst-filled rambling if he thinks it would help. He agrees to open up and tells her that when he looked at his art today, he thought it looked stupid and flat...and mercifully the camera pans out as he natters on and on. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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